


Partners

by Elly_Hiddlesherloki



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Loki and Bucky Are Bros, Weddings, actual angst, and woo boy is it a long one, angry blonde practically brothers always dealing with their nonsense, casual angst, gonna slowly transfer it here, honestly one of my proudest works, like reeeeally slow, loving bickering, occasional graphic violence that will be marked per chapter, partners, regular fluff, took me a solid year to write, transferred from another place, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-12-16 06:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 53
Words: 179,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elly_Hiddlesherloki/pseuds/Elly_Hiddlesherloki
Summary: Loki, freshly assigned to Midgard to work for SHIELD as glorified community service for his numerous crimes is assigned a human partner to keep track of him and to assist her on various SHIELD missions.I'm bad at summaries





	1. Prologue

You walked through the halls, head held high. You smiled at your fellow agents as you passed them, your heels clicking on the metal flooring. You glanced down at your watch and quickened your pace, finally reaching your destination of a rather uninteresting door.  
  
Stepping into the room, you looked around.  
“Have a seat, agent.” You heard a commanding voice bark at you.  
  
You entered further into the room and were able to get a better view of the speaker. “Director Fury?” Your mouth dropped open in shock, “Uh, sir?” you managed to add.  
  
“Professional courtesies never were your strong point.” Fury was holding a file,  _your_ file. “But then, that’s also why we chose you. But first, how’d the mission go?”  
  
“I was told that I was to report to Agent Hall.” You said uncertainly. He looked at you, “sir.”  
  
“Yes, well you’re reporting to me, and we don’t have all day.”  
  
You nodded and started listing off the details. It had been a clean mission, solo, no casualties. A few enemy agents were dispatched but nothing of import. “The explosives worked,” you couldn’t help but grinning, those were your favorites. They were also your specialty here at SHIELD. “Warehouse completely leveled, sir, just dust. The radiation should dissipate in a few days. Afterwards, it’ll have never existed.” You couldn’t keep the note of pride out of your voice.  
  
Fury nodded, “Good. Now these reports-“  
  
“Filed and triplicate and that shit.” You listed off bored then your eyes widened in horrified embarrassment. Fury glared at you with his good eye. “Language, right, sir…” there was another set of paperwork you had to fill out. You had the rather unfortunate habit of speaking your mind.  
  
Nick sighed and closed his eye, resting his fingers on his temples. “You’ll do just fine. Here.” He handed you the file.  
“What do I need this for? It’s my file-“ you stopped, aware that you’d probably interrupted him again.  
  
“It has your file, Agent (y/n), but it also has a personality compatibility profile in there, along with the schematics to your next assignment. You’ll want to hurry with your paperwork so you can read this file ASAP.” You stood up and saluted him. “Agent,” he sighed again, “you’re a good kid.”  
  
“Er… sir?” You were completely taken aback, a second time that happened today. This was unusual even for your line of work.  
  
“I’ve been keeping a close watch on you for a while now, this assignment is very particular, I don’t hand out praise more than needed and unless it’s well earned. I trust your abilities, understood? Don’t let that trust be misplaced.”  
  
“I, er, thank you, sir.” You stammered; this was even more unusual.  
  
“Now get going, I have someone else to talk to, hurry up with that paperwork. Your next officer will arrive the minute you’re ready and I don’t have any more time to waste.”  
  
You left the room and the door slid shut behind you. When you were finally in the hall, you leaned against the wall and let out a breath of air you hadn’t realized you were holding. “A new mission, by the director himself…” you murmured, looking at the unopened envelope.  
You stepped away from the wall and straight into what felt was another wall. If it hadn’t been for years of training, handling being struck by such blows, you would have fallen to the ground. As it were, you stumbled back a few steps and looked at the person you had walked into. Standing before you, and a head taller than you, was a tall raven-haired man. The hair was far longer than standard SHIELD commission and his eyes were such a startling and intense shade of green. You noticed his tall sharp cheekbones and his pale skin, his mouth turned down in a dark scowl.  
  
“Quit gawking, human.” The man spat at you.  
  
‘Human…?’ Then you noticed the leather and metal armour he wore, armour, not the standard issue SHIELD jumpsuit. “Who shoved that stick up your ass?” You glared at him.  
  
He looked at you, confusion flashed across his eyes, then his face was set back to a smirk. “Oh right, it’s your Midgardian slang…” he rolled his eyes.  
  
“Oh I know you!” He raised an eyebrow. “Yea! You’re that crazy guy who thinks he’s a god and tried to rule Earth! Loki, right?” You grinned and held your hand out.  
  
Loki’s eyes flashed viciously and his hand shot forward, grabbing you by the throat, and holding you against the wall. “And you’re some pathetic mortal, not even worth the time of day I’m giving you, sent out like a common dog to do whoever bidding demands of you, with a neck so easily snapped that even a babe would scoff at your weakness.” Loki’s voice was a low hiss and filled with venom.  
You grasped his wrist with both hands, trying to ease the pressure on your neck. You eyed him evenly, it was a little difficult with the lack of oxygen but you found yourself smiling. He let go of you. You slid to the ground and landed in a crouch before slowly standing back up. You massaged your throat while calmly reorganizing your spilled files.  
  
“And yet you don’t, or rather you can’t.” You smirked at him. “You’re on Fury’s leash too, aren’t you?” Loki’s eyes were nearly black and the look he gave was murderous. “I like my job, though.” You brushed back your hair and smoothed it with your hand. “I don’t know what grief you have with humans and Earth but tough, take it someplace else, I don’t have time for your shit. I have a job that I’m supposed to be doing, so if you’ll excuse me,” you stepped around him. You waved nonchalantly and didn’t look back, then called over your shoulder, “pleasure meeting you.” Now… where were you with those files…  
  
  
  
Loki watched you go. To the standard viewer, he was just glaring at you, but in reality: Loki was dumbstruck. You hadn’t reacted at all. Loki appreciated not having any of the Avengers around, particularly Thor, to notice this strange turn of events.  All over the place, he was losing control, nothing was going as it should and he was furious. He shot a glare at one of the passing agents, they made eye contact but quailed under Loki’s intense stare. His lips twisted into a pleased smirk and he opened the door you had just exited from.  
  
“What was that about?” Fury asked as the door shut behind Loki.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, “What  _ever_ are you referring towards?” Loki answered languidly as he sat down.  
  
“For one, I heard you slam Agent (y/n) against the wall.” (Y/n), pleasant enough sounding, Loki thought idly. “Two, even if I hadn’t heard it, I could see it on the security feed.” Fury motioned to a screen, there was footage of the previous altercation.  
  
“That appears to be me, this Agent (y/n) you spoke of, uh-“ he hesitated. Thor would be upset if he misbehaved too much, and as much as it pained him, Loki was trying to make amends with Thor. “Apologies…” Loki muttered.  
  
Fury sighed. Why was this his problem? A temperamental, vicious, arrogant demigod had to be watched and it was his problem. Fury silently bemoaned his situation.  He showed no outward signs of his exasperation.  
  
Fury simply nodded at Loki and held out a file. Loki raised his eyebrows but simply crossed his arms. Fury sighed inwardly again, ‘not getting paid enough for this shit…’ Setting the file on the table, Fury spoke calmly. “That’s Agent (y/n), she’s your new partner.”


	2. Chapter 2

“What do they call you, silvertongue? Got nothing to say?”  
  
Loki clenched his jaw and stood up. “Why would I possibly need a partner?” He spat the last word. Fury just held the file out to him. Loki sighed, grabbing the file, and stalked out of the room. After he left the room, he inspected it briefly. He looked at your training and mission history, it was on par with Black Widow’s and the Hawk.  
‘That’s interesting…’ he thought to himself. He read more of your file for transgressions and misdemeanors, it was curious that Fury would give him access to such damning information.  
He looked closer, you had several infractions for mouthing off and being overzealous in your mission endeavours. You really liked explosives it appeared.  
A small smile played at the corner of his mouth, ‘This agent might actually be fun…’

* * *

You looked up from your papers as the SUV you rode in slowed to a stop. Outside the tinted windows you could see Stark Tower.  
  
“Here we are ma’am,” your driver said. You thanked him and got out, pausing briefly to admire the spectacle.  
You entered the building and saw a man and a woman walking towards you.  
“Tasha?!” You called in surprise.  
  
“(y/n)?! What are you doing here?” The red haired woman looked at you, just as shocked. The sandy haired man beside her was silent but looked at you curiously.  
  
You pulled out your papers from your traveling bag, which was all you had brought with you. All of your worldly possessions resided in that single bag. “Here,” you held them out to her.  
  
Natasha Romanoff took the papers from you while Clint Barton, codename Hawkeye, read over her shoulder.  
“You’re what?” Clint looked up from the papers and back at you.  
  
You nodded, “Yep, just got transferred.”  
  
“Well, glad to have you as part of the team,” Clint said.  
Natasha smirked, “Well, give him hell. We have your back if you need anything.” She handed the papers back to you. As she finished speaking, a ding sounded across the front lobby. “That’s our cue.” She and Clint waved back at you as they left the building and out onto the busy streets.  
  
“Mr Stark!” You held out your hand to shake his then stopped and quickly looked back at your papers.  
  
“It’s Tony, and don’t worry about it. You’re (y/n).” The famous ‘genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist’ introduced himself to you. You nodded a little nervously. “JARVIS already scanned you. What’s wrong, you’re nervous around me but not her?” Tony smirked as you stuffed the paperwork back in your bag.  
  
“We did some basic SHIELD training together, back in the day.”  
  
“C’mon, let me show you around.” He led you to the elevator. “JARVIS, what floor is Steve on right now?”  
“He’s just exiting his room now, sir.” The disembodied voice said.  
“Let’s go get him so (y/n) stops acting like I’ll bite.” You didn’t notice the elevator lurch upwards, “unless you’re into that sort of things.”  
  
The doors opened just as you spoke, “But you and Pepper- er Miss Potts?” you asked and tried to correct yourself.  
  
“Don’t worry, he does that to everyone.” A blonde haired man, who you quickly recognized as Steve Rogers entered the elevator.  
  
“How’d you know what we were talking about?” You asked him surprised, Tony glared.  
  
“If someone asks about him and Pepper, it’s a safe bet.” He smiled warmly at you, “Sorry about that, rude way to meet you ma’am.” He held out his hand. “I’m Steve Rogers, Steve.”  
  
You grasped his hand and shook it, “(y/n). Nice to meet you Steve.”  
  
Steve nodded and smiled then turned to Tony as the elevator started to rise. “Where to Stark?”  
  
“(y/n)’s room, well the floor she’s on. You’ll be on the same floor as Agent Romanoff, luckily you get along. She hates everyone.” Tony said.  
  
Steve rolled his eyes, “It’s just you Stark, she’s really nice if you’d stop trying to annoy her.”  
Tony grinned at Steve. You smiled at the two men’s friendly bickering; joining the Avengers would definitely be exciting.  
  
“Earth to (y/n).” Tony’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. “Thor wanted to speak to you before you unpacked. He should be down the hall at the lounge.”  
  
“Right, thanks.”  
  
“After you’re done talking, head back to the elevator, we’re ordering pizza tonight.” Tony and Steve waved as you stepped out of the elevator. You took a deep breath and walked down the hallway, you were just starting to get nervous at the prospect of meeting the thunder god.  
  
“Uh, Thor?” You called out hesitantly.  
  
“Lady (y/n)!” Thor said smiling as he walked towards you. “I’m glad I could make your acquaintance before you moved in.”  
  
“Right yea.” You nodded and smiled nervously.  
  
Thor took your hand and gently kissed your knuckles. You couldn’t help but blush, though you managed to stifle the giggle. It was interesting seeing such old traditions being carried out again.  
  
“This is your room,” he gestured to the door. You opened it and looked around at the spacious room. It was very simple and unadorned. “Stark will be happy to help you furnish it more to your likings.” Thor said, standing politely in the doorway.  
  
“Thanks!” You tossed your bag on the bed and looked around. There was a dresser, a closet, nightstands on both sides of the king sized bed and a door leading to a sizeable bathroom. “This is great! Way better than standard SHIELD issued.” You looked back at Thor who was leaning against the doorframe. He seemed lost in thought. “Thor?” You asked hesitantly.  
  
He shook himself, “Right, I need to talk to you about why you’re here.”  
  
“Oh right.” You straightened your face and sat down on the bed. You patted it and Thor hesitantly entered the room.  
  
“It’s rude to be in the chambers of a maiden.”  
  
You shrugged, “you standing in the hallway looked uncomfortable.”  
  
Thor smiled and sat down beside you; the bed sank considerably under his weight. “I have to talk to you seriously though.” You nodded for him to continue. “You are here to work with my brother as his partner, yes?”  
  
“That’s the general idea.”  
  
“Although Fury probably expects you to be more of Loki’s keeper, or rather his supervisor.” You nodded again. “Your affinity with explosives has you ensured as a member of this team. If at any point Loki should become too much, do not feel obligated to protect him. You won’t be demoted, your safety and well-being is of utmost importance.”  
  
You nodded again, “Of course.” Smiling you patted his leg, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I can handle what he throws at me.”  
  
Thor shook his head. “Do not take this job lightly. Assume every rumour of Loki you heard is true. He is every bit as obstinate to those he deems beneath him and hardly manageable to his superiors.”  
  
“Every rumour?” You widened your eyes. Thor nodded. “I knew he had eyes in the back of his head, no one can have hair that nice…” You said and grinned as you looked up at the hulking figure next to you.  
  
Thor’s smile was pained. “Fury did say you had a personality that could compete with Loki. But please, be careful around him. Loki is working with us and shouldn’t do anything to purposely hurt you, but chaos follows him. Things happen.”  
  
“Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself.” You smiled. “I know when to be serious and I can take care of myself. It’ll be a new sort of challenge. “  
  
Thor found himself smiling at you. “Very well, (y/n), we’ll be eating shortly. Your Midgardian delicacy called pizza, but perhaps you should introduce yourself to Loki.”  
  
“Yea… we’ve met but that sounds good, a proper introduction.” Thor helped you to your feet and led you down the hall to the elevator.  
  
“After you talk to Loki, just enter the elevator and ask JARVIS to take you to the top floor, it’s where we’re eating. Loki doesn’t usually eat with us and only really leaves his room for missions.”  
  
The two of you rode in silence.  
  
After a moment, the elevator door opened and you looked around. “Woah…”  
  
“This is the library. Loki’s room is at the far end. No one wanted to share a floor with him and he likes to read so it worked out well.”  
  
“This is amazing…” You breathed, awestruck. Floor to ceiling bookshelves were everywhere.  
  
Thor chuckled, “You like to read as well?”  
  
“I love to!”  
  
“Well, there’s something you and Loki have in common, perhaps that will ease his nerves.” You looked at Thor confused. “Well, I say nerves. I mean more so that perhaps he won’t be cruel to you if he finds a common ground to respect you for.” You nodded again. “I hate to leave you here alone but I suppose this will be your first mission, if you will.”  
  
“I’ll be fine,” you waved him off. “See you in a bit.”  
  


* * *

  
  
As the doors slid shut behind you, Thor couldn’t help but wonder if he had given you a death sentence. Thor shook his head, Loki wouldn’t hurt you physically, but there was no telling how cruel he would be.  
  
The elevator reached the top floor and he stepped out. Everyone looked over at him, “I left (y/n) to meet Loki.”  
  
“She’ll be fine Thor.” Steve said. “She looks like she knows how to handle herself.”  
  
Tony nodded, “Yea if anyone can handle Loki, it’ll probably be (y/n). She’s not even scared of Natasha.”  
  
Bruce rolled his eyes. “If Natasha kills you, I’m not going to be surprised.”  
  
“Who am I killing?” Natasha walked into the room, Clint, carrying pizzas, followed close behind her. No one had noticed the elevator.  
  
Thor grinned, “Lady Natasha.”  
  
“Seriously thunderboy, it’s just Natasha,” she smiled at him. “Now, who wants some pizza while we wait for (y/n)?”  
  


* * *

  
You walked among the bookshelves slowly examining the titles. There was everything from fictional books you’d grown up reading, to volume upon volume of historical knowledge. As you neared Loki’s room, you saw books with various runes and symbols you didn’t recognize.  
  
“He must have brought some of his library with him from Asgard…” You said softly. The room seemed to demand silence.  
  
You grabbed one of the books that was written in what looked like a magical language. The words on the cover seemed to shimmer as you looked at them; you could feel your head hurting with the strain of trying to understand it.  
After a moment, you set the book back on the shelf and made your way to a lonely door.  
Taking a deep breath, you lifted your hand and gently knocked.


	3. Chapter 3

Your knuckles rapped against the door.  
  
Silence.  
  
You tried again, louder this time.  
  
“What?” You heard a voice bark from just inside and the door opened, just enough to see Loki’s pale features and intense green eyes glaring down at you. “Oh, Agent (y/n).” Loki’s face was unreadable and his voice emotionless.  
  
“Hey Loki,” to your surprise, you found yourself smiling.  
  
He glared down at you, “What?” He repeated. There was something about your smile that bothered him.  
 _it made him want to smile…_  
This realization infuriated him.  
  
“Yeesh, don’t bite my head off.” You held your hands up defensively. “I was only saying hello. I figure you trying to strangle me wasn’t a traditional Asgardian greeting. I talked to Thor and-“  
  
“Of course you talked to Thor.” He cut you off, his voice was curt.  
  
“He’s one of the Avengers dumbass.” You rolled your eyes, and then continued, “He didn’t try to strangle me, so I hoped we could, y’know, start over.”  
  
Loki still glared down at you. “Quim, you still insult me.”  
  
You rubbed your hand on your forehead. “Ok,  _Loki_ , can we start over again?”  
  
He nodded. “Very well… agent.” You smiled at him. There was that damned smile again. “Alright, introductions done, is that everything?” He moved to shut the door. It caught on your foot and he looked down, annoyed.  
  
“You and I are partners.”  
  
He sighed. “I’m aware.”  
  
“Then start acting like it.”  
  
“What does that entail in your pathetic-“ he stopped himself as you glared at him. “What are you expecting of me?”  
  
“Well, you could start by not trying to slam your door in my face.”  
  
He grudgingly opened the door a few inches. Behind him you could see his darkened room as the curtains to the outside were shut. In the dim light coming from the library area, you could make out the green and golden furnishings of the room. He had clearly moved many of his Asgardian possessions with him to earth; even with this poor view, you could tell the decorations were beautiful.  
  
He stared at you silently.  
  
“I thought they called you the silver tongue.” He narrowed his eyes at you. “Just trying to make conversation.” You muttered.  
  
“Yes, well, if you don’t mind, I was reading and I would like to continue doing so.”  
  
“You sure? Stark ordered pizza for everyone. It’s quite the,” you searched for the word, “Midgardian delicacy here in New York.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Will you at least come with me and get a slice? I’ll leave you alone the rest of the day. You don’t even have to stay to eat, just get a slice and leave back to your room.”  
  
Loki sighed and rubbed his temples. “The rest of the day?” You nodded. “Fine.” He opened the door and stepped out, swiftly shutting it behind him. “Let’s go.” He started walking to the elevator, he was much taller than you and his strides far longer. It didn’t help that he was moving so quickly.   
You half ran to catch up with him. You couldn’t help but admire his elegant gait. As the two of you waited for the elevator, you found yourself in silent awe of his lean form and physical features.  
You shook yourself internally, this isn’t the time or place. This man is dangerous.  
  
Even so… you couldn’t stop the thought lingering.  
  
The door opened, Loki entered and crossed his arms, “Well?” he demanded, waiting for you to get in.  
You blinked, a little surprised, then followed after him.  
  
“Good evening, (y/n), Loki,” JARVIS’ voice filled the elevator, “Where can I take you?”  
  
You glanced at Loki, he was glaring pointedly away from you. Sighing you asked, “Where are the rest of the Avengers?” You giggled.  
  
“Top floor, shall I take you there?”  
  
You nodded, “Thank you.” The elevator started to rise.  
  
“What?” Loki was glaring at you again.  
  
“What, what?” you asked him, confused.  
  
“Why are you giggling?”  
  
You shrugged, “It doesn’t matter.” He continued to glare. “I’m an Avenger,  _we’re_  Avengers.”  
  
He nodded, becoming more annoyed, “Yes, what of it?”  
  
“It’s just neat, nothing like I ever thought before.” Loki sighed and muttered indiscernibly under his breath. You chose to ignore him, you figured dragging Loki from his room was testing his patience enough as it was. ‘Hey, baby steps,’ you thought to yourself.  
  
The elevator stopped and the doors slid open.  
The Avengers were all in various places watching a movie on Stark’s floor to ceiling television.  
From the sofa, Steve called over, “Hey (y/n), how’s-“  
  
“Loki?” Thor cut Steve off midsentence.  
  
Everyone’s attention snapped over to you and Loki standing just outside the elevator. You smiled but suddenly felt awkward and self-conscious standing next to Loki. The smile faded from your face and you glanced at Loki.  
  
“It’s good to see you outside your room, brother.” Thor said, trying to break the tension in the air with his cheery voice.  
  
Loki’s eye’s flashed in anger, “Brother.” He muttered. He stalked past you, grabbed a slice of pizza and strode past you again, before anyone had time to react. “Don’t let my presence ruin your evening.” The elevator door slid shut, and with that, he was gone.  
  
Everyone had followed him silently with their eyes. “Wow (y/n), I think you’re the only person, other than Thor, who has managed to get Loki to leave his room.” Clint said, finally breaking the silence. “This is Bruce, by the way,” He gestured at the man with dark curly hair.  
  
Bruce shook his head then nodded, “Right, yea, nice to meet you.”  
  
You smiled again, “And you’ve just heard my name, so,” you hesitated, “mind if I grab a slice?”  
Steve finally recovered, “Here, let me help,” he stood up and led you to the stacks of pizza boxes.  
  
Natasha stood next to Thor, “Fury really does know how to pick ‘em…” Thor inclined his head slowly. “More pizza?” Natasha walked over and opened one of the boxes for Thor, then looked at him expectantly.  
  
He smiled, “Yes, thank you lady-“ she raised her eyebrow at him, “er, Natasha.” He corrected then smiled.  
  
You joined the others on the couch and started watching the movie in silence. Natasha slid over the back of the couch and sat down next to you. “Way to make an entrance, (y/n).”  
  
“No kidding,” Clint had slid over and was sitting on your opposite side.  
  
Suddenly the television was silent as everyone turned to look at you. “Way to go, agent,” Tony grinned, “didn’t know it was possible to get him out of his room.”  
  
You smiled and rubbed the back of your head sheepishly, “I hope I didn’t break any rules doing that… I probably should’ve asked about it first.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it.” Tony waved his hand.  
  
“I thank you for trying (y/n),” Thor gently placed his hand on your shoulder. You looked up at him and smiled.  
  
Tony cleared his throat, “Now, if we’re going to get to know each other,” he looked at you, “alcohol is definitely going to have to be involved.”  
  
“You’re shitting me…” you stopped and coughed, “I mean, you’re joking, right?”  
  
“Curses like a sailor too,” Bruce grinned. “Well you’re just full of surprises.”  
  
“You’re one to speak,” you winked at him.  
  
There was a silence as everyone waited for Bruce’s reaction, “Well, if you’re this forward without alcohol, I’d love to meet you with it.” You could sense the gratefulness in his voice. In not treating the Hulk like a monster, the Hulk stopped being a monster.  
  
Steve looked at you, “Wow.”  
  
“No kidding,” Tony added. “What’s next, you’re going to tell me you can outdrink Natasha too?”  
  
“No she’s Russian, I wouldn’t dream of it.” You grinned.  
  
Natasha smirked, “Good call. Now Stark, any time you’re ready, I’m up for a rematch.”  
  
Tony grimaced, “I’ll hold off on that offer tonight… we’ll have to wait for a bigger celebration, when more people aren’t around.” He smirked, “So you can’t cheat this time, and so everyone can see me beat you.”  
  
Natasha rolled her eyes, “Stark, you were drunk off your ass, you’re the one who knocked over your own shots. I drank mine.”  
  
Tony stuck his tongue out at Natasha, “Children, please,” Steve interrupted.  
  
Thor grinned, “When you two drink again, I will bring true spirits to test each other with. We will drink and make your ancestors proud.”  
  
Bruce’s eyes widened. Steve said, “Let’s hold off on that tonight Thor, just a few light drinks, then we can get some sleep. I’m sure Stark will want to send (y/n) off shopping tomorrow.” Tony smiled at you, “We don’t want her completely hungover the first time she’s in public as an Avenger.”  
  
“I can take her,” Natasha offered. She turned to Clint, “You wanna join us?”  
  
Clint shook his head, “No, never again. I have some inventory check that needs doing, why don’t you take Bruce with, let him get some fresh air?”  
  
“Bruce?” You turned to him.  
  
“Yea, a day at the mall with Natasha and (y/n), that’s really stress free…” Tony muttered.  
  
Bruce ignored Tony and smiled, “I’d love to.”  
  
Tony left the room and in seconds was back with a container of beers and various spirits, tossing them to the people seated around the room.  
  
“Alright, so have you guys heard of ‘Never have I ever?’” You asked as everyone was seated comfortably. With varying degrees of comfort Clint, Tony, Bruce, and Natasha grinned.  
  


* * *

  
JARVIS never spoke to Loki, Loki never spoke to JARVIS.  
  
Loki looked up at the red light that signaled where JARVIS’ camera was. He considered casting a spell on it, but before he could decide one, the elevator doors slid open.  
In seconds he was back in his room, the door slamming shut behind him with a burst of green magic. He threw his plate down on one of his desks. After a moment, he breathed deeply and brushed his hand through his hair. How had he let himself get talked into joining the other mortals like that?  
He sighed and sat down on the bed. He liked to observe, he didn’t like to be observed and that wretched mortal, you, had made him the center of attention.  
He picked up his book from earlier and tried to read.   
  
After a while, he gave up and changed out of his armor. He took off his shirt and slid into a pair of black pajama pants. The Midgardians had managed to make a material soft as fur but light as cloth. He rather liked this material.  
Loki felt exhaustion sweep over him. He crawled under the blankets and closed his eyes; perhaps tonight he would get restful sleep.


	4. Nightmare (Loki's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only chapter from Loki's POV as it's not something I'm fond of doing in a reader insert but it worked well - Frigga angst

I woke up gasping, my teeth clenched in agony, then the pain subsided and it was just the discomfort of biting down too hard.  
  
I slowly massaged my jaw as I reminded myself it was just a dream. I wanted to close my eyes, force them shut as hard as I could but I knew the instant I did, the images would come back.  
  
I was aware that many would wake screaming; I’d spent my share of time in the healing chambers and had woken to the sounds of soldiers screaming as they remembered how they received their wounds, but not me. Never me.  
  
I would never allow myself to be that weak, no matter what I went through, I would never be so weak to scream.  
Even as I looked down at my flayed body, blood dripping from my fresh tortures or the smell of my burning flesh, I never screamed.  
  
Thanos never had the satisfaction of hearing my screams, he would never hear me beg for mercy, but that didn’t stop the pain. Pain was all I knew.  
  
So each night I woke up drenched in my own sweat, chest heaving in silent fear, but never screaming.  
  
I glanced at my clock, it was just after three a.m.  
  
I still hadn’t closed my eyes. Would there be enough time to dream if I tried to sleep again?  
  
I thought of (y/n)’s smile, it was warm. I closed my eyes and was able to picture her smiling. It was in the background of my terrors but a ray of… I paused as I searched for the right word. Hope? Her smile brought me hope?  
  
I laid back down and stared at the ceiling. Two hours… that gives me until five, if I slept then, I would wake up at seven… five until seven? That shouldn’t be enough time to dream.  
  
I forced my eyes to remain open, how badly I wished to rest but these terrors, there was no rest.  
  
I rolled over and reached under my bed, between the mattresses and felt around.  
  
There.  
  
I pulled out the storybook Frigga had read to me as a child and smiled as I brushed my fingers across the smooth cover. I opened the book and looked at all the familiar pictures.  
There were stars and forests and all manner of beautiful animals and landscapes. The bright star traveled across the lands, bidding everyone good night. I could hear her soft voice reading the familiar words.  
“Look at the flowers, Loki, this one is my favorite.” I looked at the golden flower with its leaves so emerald green; she said they matched my eyes.  
I had stared at those flowers she loved so much and slowly grew to love their colours.  
  
I flipped through more pages and found the two brothers nodding off as they fought to stay awake together.  
Frigga’s soft voice read as the star scolded the naughty boys, “Go to bed little ones.” She had whispered.  
I remember laughing, “They’re just like me and Thor!”  
She smiled knowingly and nodded but then said, “Of course not my little one, my sons would never be so naughty. Now are you going to interrupt the star?”  
I would snuggle in closer. “Sorry mother.”  
She would smile and hug me tighter, “There is no need to be sorry.” And then she would continue reading.  
  
I looked at the time, it was just after five. I slid the book back to its hidden spot and cast a concealing charm.  
  
I felt a tear sliding down my face.  
“I’m so sorry mother. You are my mother, I wish you knew…” I said those words every night and hoped she could hear me in the halls of Valhalla. “I’m trying to make amends with Thor…” I murmured as I closed my eyes. I could hear the faintest whisper but I never remembered it when I woke up.  
“I love you, little one.”


	5. Chapter 5

You woke with a start and looked around. Strewn throughout the room were the past out Avengers.  
  
You rubbed your eyes, trying to remember the events of last night through your pulsating headache.  
You looked over as Tony groaned and sat up, “JARVIS…”  
  
“Breakfast is almost done sir.” JARVIS answered.  
  
Tony nodded and looked at you. “Guess we did end up getting wasted… at least it’s the weekend.”  
  
Thor woke the same time as Steve. Steve smiled as he looked at you, Bruce, and the still sleeping assassins. “You lot sure are fun to drink with.”  
  
Thor laughed, “A most glorious of nights.”  
  
You rubbed your head and moaned, “I haven’t drunk like that in ages…”  
  
“No alcohol like that at SHIELD, eh?” Steve asked, amused.  
  
“They don’t know how to have fun there.” Tony added.  
  
Natasha and Clint woke up, followed shortly by Bruce. “Breakfast is ready.” JARVIS’ voice said across the room.  
  
“Thanks, what are we having?” Bruce asked.  
  
“Waffles, sir.”  
  
“Excellent,” Clint said as he slowly stood up. “I don’t know whose idea it was to start the drinking games, but…” He groaned softly.  
  
Natasha laughed, “Admit it, you loved it.”  
  
Clint glared at her then laughed, “Alright, it was fun.”  
  
You looked at Natasha, Thor, Steve and Tony, “You guys don’t get hangovers?”  
  
“It takes a lot more than Midgardian drinks, my lady.” Thor said.  
  
“Super soldier metabolism, Thor’s Asgardian ale is the only type strong enough for my metabolism to not burn through.”  
  
“Years of practice, sweetheart,” Tony smirked and Natasha grinned with him.  
  
“After breakfast, I’m going back to sleep,” Bruce muttered. You and Clint nodded in agreement.  
  
You took your time eating breakfast, by the time you finished, everyone had left the room and gone their separate ways.

“JARVIS?” You called out hesitantly.

“Yes miss?” JARVIS answered.

“Are there any waffles left over?”

“Of course."

One of the cabinets opened up and a steaming pile of waffles revealed themselves. “Oh wow, thanks JARVIS.”

“You’re welcome.” You grabbed the tray that the plate of waffles sat atop. Looking around you found a glass and poured some orange juice in it.  
  
You stood in silence as you waited for the elevator to arrive, when the door opened you stepped in. “Where to, miss (l/n)?” JARVIS asked.  
“The library,” you answered. When you got to the floor, the doors opened and you thanks JARVIS. “I’m getting pretty good at this,” you smiled and couldn’t help but feel a little smug.  
  
You walked down the aisle in silence, and as you approached Loki’s door, you switched the tray to one hand. With one hand balancing the tray, you raised the other to knock on Loki’s door. Just before your hand made contact, the door swung open to reveal Loki standing in the doorway.  
He looked down at you surprised. “Agent? What are you doing here?”  
  
“I brought you breakfast…”  
  
His face softened then he looked at you suspiciously, “Why?  
  
“I thought I’d try and do something nice, partners do that sort of thing, right?”  
  
He still seemed suspicious but finally answered slowly, “I suppose so…”  
  
You held the tray out to him and he took it.  
  
“Even with SHIELD training, you have to be able to trust the people you fight or work with. You don’t have to like each other.”  
  
“Good.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I don’t like you either.” He smirked at you and you found yourself grinning. “Right, well Natasha and I are going to go shopping soon.” He raised his eyebrow at you, “Yea… I figured you wouldn’t want to go with.” Loki only rolled his eyes. “Alright, enjoy your breakfast.” You started to walk away.  
  
He looked down at the tray in his hands, “Thank you.” He murmured quietly.  
  
You turned back, “Don’t worry about it.” You smiled then it faded and he looked at you uncertainly. “Sorry if I upset you last night, I was just meeting the Avengers, and thought to maybe have everyone together. I didn’t think of it upsetting you.”  
  
Loki scoffed and waved you away dismissively. “I am a god, lesser beings cannot possibly upset me.”   
You glared at him. “Go do your Midgardian frivolities.”  
  
You rolled your eyes, “Well, if you need me, you know how to contact me.”  
  
“And you of course are capable of contacting me.” You nodded at him and walked off.  
  
‘Contact info,’ you thought. That was the closest thing to meeting someone for a date since… you cut off the thought as you entered the elevator.  
SHIELD had always come first, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d had even the slightest bit of a romantic relationship. You tried to remember if you even had. Why did this thought even keep coming up? Being outside the constant rhythm of meticulous work for SHIELD was probably getting to you. Oh well, no sense dwelling on that now. Your thoughts turned towards your new bed and you smiled.  
  
In a few hours, after what would probably be the most comfortable sleep in your life (based off the several moments spent sitting on the bed), you’d be on a shopping spree with the most infamous covert assassin (she was effective that she remained unknown but whispered stories of her skills still gave her a reputation) and a man who is the leading expert in gamma radiation; and it would be treated like an everyday occasion.  
  
You made it to your room and sighed wishing you could just lay down and sleep but you figured a nice shower first would be better. The water was soothing and warm and there was no limit, no other agents insisting you hurry up or superiors ready to send you to more mundane training exercises.  
You took your time, towel dried your hair and lay down on your bed, falling asleep instantly.  
  


* * *

You woke to the sound of knocking on your door.

“(y/n), (Y/n)!” You heard Natasha calling, “You ready to go?”

“What?” You called, still drowsy.

She opened the door and chuckled, “first time on a non-SHIELD cot?” You grunted at her, not wanting to move from the comfort of your blankets. “It’s after four.”

Your eyes shot open. “I’ve been asleep how long?!”

Natasha chuckled as she leaned against the door frame. She crossed one leg over the other. “Really easy to fall into such a deep sleep with such a comfortable bed.”

“I haven’t slept this well in ages,” you groaned.  
  
“Get up; you’re going under cover as a civilian today. We’re shopping.” She grinned at you, then her face was serious. “Although, I don’t want you getting lazy, so I expect you back and training tomorrow. You know your assignment.”  
  
You crawled out of bed.  
  
“Natasha, don’t be so hard on her, she knows her training and will do what she has to do. There’s a reason she’s on the team.” Bruce was standing in the hall outside your view. You went to the bathroom and changed clothes. In a few moments you joined the two in the hall. “Your specialty is explosives and daggers, right?” You nodded. Bruce grinned and said, “Well, when we get back, Tony and I have some ‘toys’, as he likes to call it, to show you.”  
  
You beamed at him, “Excellent!”  
  
Natasha led you and Bruce to the elevator, “We’ll stop at the furniture store, pick out what you like and Tony’s personal interior decorators will have it set up in your room, then clothes, and back to the tower for supper. Sound good?” You and Bruce nodded.  
  


* * *

* * *

  
  
After several hours of shopping, you returned to the tower exhausted. You were physically fit and could maintain a steady jog for miles but something about trying on clothing and accessories and shopping in general leaves a person fatigued.  
“We’ll talk to Tony tomorrow about the ‘toys’.” Bruce said after you’d deposited your day’s purchases in your room. “Let’s go see what JARVIS cooked up.”  
  
You rode the elevator to the top floor and walked out, immediately a beautiful scent filled your noses. “Is that lasagna?” You asked in excitement.  
“Smells like it.” The three of you walked straight towards the kitchen area, completely ignoring the lounge.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Loki, it’s excellent to see you out of your room.” Thor couldn’t keep the smile off his face.  
  
Loki’s arms were crossed and he rolled his eyes, “Yes, well, if you keep bothering me, I might just go back.”  
  
Thor placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Thank you for making the effort to join me and our new friends and comrades. It means a great deal to me.”  
  
Loki shrugged, but inwardly he was pleased to have found a way to regain his friendship with Thor. How much he missed Asgard (and detested humans) but he cared about Thor a great deal more.  
  
Thor knew his brother well. He appreciated Loki’s effort and knew how much it hurt his brother’s pride. He wondered if it had anything to do with this new agent; Loki had made no outward attempts previously but Thor opted not to think too much into this small victory for his brother.  
  
“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Loki held up his book, then lowered it and started to read again.  
  
Thor nodded and stood up, books had never held interest to him but his last talk with Frigga resonated in his mind. Loki’s enjoyment and skills lay in areas that Thor would never truly grasp, just as he held skills that Loki would never Share.  
  
-  
  
Thor entered the dining area and when you saw him, you grinned, “Thor!”  
  
“Lady (y/n)!” He grabbed you in a bear hug, “How was your day of shopping?” Clint and Bruce looked over from their conversation and started laughing as Thor hugged you.  
  
“Great. Can’t… breathe.” Thor set you down and you massaged your ribs. “It was great, I didn’t realize how fashion savvy Natasha is. And it’s just (y/n).”  
  
“Of course,” Thor smiled.  
  
“Yea, she helped me catch up on 21st century fashion,” Steve said, entering the room as Tony followed.  
  
“Lasagna?” Tony clapped his hands together in excitement.  
  
“That is correct sir.” JARVIS’ voice came from above. In moments everyone had grabbed food and was eating with gusto.  
  
“So is it normally like this?” You found it hard to believe that they all managed to eat together.  
Bruce shook his head, “No, kinda a celebratory and welcome to the team thing. After this weekend, everything will be back to normal.”  
  
Clint added, “Yep, eat as you need, keep yourself busy between assignments. You’ll see what I mean. Things get moving pretty fast and you’ll be surprised how busy we normally are. Tony demanded a short vacation to get to know you.”  
  
“Thanks Tony.”  
  
“No worries.” There was the slightest sound and you looked over, Loki had walked past, grabbed some food and just as quickly as he appeared, he was gone. You opened your mouth to say something but saw Thor shake his head. Tony spoke up, “Did Bruce tell you about the toys I made?” You could tell he was changing the subject.  
  
You were silent a moment then quickly answered, “He said you had some to show me but no details.”  
“Great, I love giving surprises.”  
“Speaking of which, thanks so much for the furniture and clothes.”  
“Don’t worry about it, I own the stores you shopped at so owner’s discount.”  
  
After Loki was out of earshot, Thor spoke. “Loki doesn’t eat with us. It’s only by coincidence if he ever runs into anyone for food.”  
  
“Got it,” you stood up. “Hey Tony?” he looked at you questioningly as you put your dishes away. “Is the library open to everyone?”  
  
Tony shrugged, “sure, it’s generally only used for research that JARVIS doesn’t have, which is almost nothing. Some people like holding books though, so I put a library in. Oh, but I heard from Thor you liked reading?” You nodded. “There’s quite a few fiction books in there if you’re into that sort of thing.”  
  
“I’ll have to check it out, thanks.” You bid everyone good night and made your way back to your room. You decided not to bother Loki any more today so you went straight to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

You woke up early and looked around at your newly decorated room; you hadn’t had time to appreciate it yesterday.  
  
After you showered and dressed, you went upstairs to find the kitchen completely deserted. You wondered what time people normally were up but figured as time passed, you’d learn everyone’s schedules. You ate in silence.  
  
Then after a moment, “Hey JARVIS?” you called.  
  
“Yes miss (y/n)?”  
  
“Is Tony awake?”  
  
“He’s in his lab currently.”  
  
“Great, thanks.” You got up and went to the elevator.  
  
The doors opened and Steve flew past you, almost knocking you off your feet. Natasha hurried after him. She held an envelope. “Careful Steve.”  
  
“I don’t have time to be careful,” he grabbed some food.  
  
“Well thanks at least for eating.” Steve nodded as he piled food into his mouth. “You sure you don’t want me to come? At least as back up?”  
  
“No.” His answer was uncharacteristically short. “Let me finish eating.”  
Natasha sighed and grabbed some toast and buttered it before she started eating. She leaned against the counter as she ate. “It could be dangerous.”  
Steve paused to glare at her and she fell silent.  
  
Deciding it was best not to ask now, you entered the elevator and left to Tony’s lab.  
  
  
  
You rode the elevator in silence, trying to guess what could be bothering Steve so badly. You shook your head, if you needed to know, they’d tell you.  
The doors opened and you heard yelling.  
  
“No! No!” It was Tony. “Dummy! Stop with the fire extinguisher! There’s no fire dammit.”  
  
Bruce standing next to a robotic arm, nearly in tears laughing at Tony. Tony’s hair was messed up and he was covered in various layers of smoke and ash.  
  
“Woah, what happened here?” You asked as you entered the room.  
  
“Stark was messing with some of your personal explosives, apparently they’re of a different sort than he was expecting.” Bruce answered you and you couldn’t help but grin.  
  
Tony glared at the two of you. “I am impressed though, that’s a different chemical mixture than I would’ve chosen.”  
  
“There’s some nanos added into there, you probably noticed.”  
  
Tony eyed a pair of gloves on the floor distastefully. You followed his gaze, they had been mostly eaten through by the hungry nanos. You looked at the ground around them and saw there were some holes eaten away in the cement.  
  
Tony sighed, “Probably should’ve talked to you about messing with your toys.”  
  
You nodded and said, “Luckily for you, those are contained explosives.”  
  
“So you do have more powerful ones?” Bruce asked as his eyes widened.  
  
“I haven’t made them, that’s just reckless.” Bruce and Tony breathed a sigh of relief at your answer.  
  
“Good, now the reason I brought you to the lab.” Tony’s eyes lit up as he walked over to one of his work tables. He lifted up a pair of long daggers. “These babies,” he grinned at them, “can work as regular sharp daggers. I won’t bore you with the specifics of heating them and how tempered the metal is, but Cap’s shield has similar modifications.”  
  
“Hot damn!” You grabbed the blades and spun them expertly in your hands. “The weight too!” They matched your regular pair perfectly.  
  
“Fury gave us the specifications and we went with that. We also added a modification,” He reached to take the blades back from you. Tony saw the disappointment in your eyes and smirked, “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll give them back.” There was a slim button on the hilt of each blade. “Press this button, and these babies turn into Tasers, completely dulls the blade too.”  
  
He handed one of the blades back to you and you ran your finger along the edge, testing the sharpness. After a second, you pulled your hand away and pressed the button. You could feel the surge of electrical currents, you could feel some of your hair standing on end. “Wow, these are amazing…” You could hardly look away from your gift.  
  
“I’ll take that as a thank you. Also, arc reactor, completely self-sustaining energy.” Tony was smirking at you.  
  
Jumping forward you grabbed him and hugged him, “Yes! Thank you so much! Oh thank you thank you!” You repeated and finally kissed him on the cheek. You turned to Bruce and pecked his cheek also,  “Thanks so much guys, these are amazing.”  
  
“You just have to promise to show us some more of these explosives of yours.”  
  
“Fair enough.” You went back to admiring the blades. A few moments passed and you remembered your encounter with Steve and Natasha from the morning. “Hey guys?” Tony and Bruce had walked back to their tables but turned at the sound of your voice. “Do you know what’s up with Steve and Nat?”  
  
“What do you mean?” Bruce asked.  
  
You shrugged, unsure, “Probably nothing, Steve seemed awfully upset this morning as he ate breakfast. I figured it was best not to intrude.”  
  
“Ehh, Cap’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Tony said dismissively. “He’s been a little on-edge since SHIELD restarted. After all the events that happened in DC, he’s been pretty busy. Fury has been working him like a dog.” Bruce nodded.  
  
“Alright, you two have fun. Don’t blow up the tower.” You sheathed the blades and waved at them as you walked off.  
  
  
  
You decided to go to the training rooms, eager to test out your new blades. “(Y/n)! (Y/n)!” You heard someone call from behind you and turned around. Clint slowed to a halt beside you and held out a computer tablet. “It’s Fury.”  
  
Startled, you took it from him. “Director?”  
  
“Agent.” Fury studied you from the screen, “Can we talk in private?” You nodded and stepped into a side room. “I heard you’re settled in.”  
  
“Yessir,” you beamed, proud at remembering the title.  
  
Director Fury rolled his eye, “We have reason to believe that very private and top secret intel on Stark’s suits has fallen into the wrong hands.”  
  
You raised your eyebrow at him, “Shouldn’t Stark look into that?”  
  
“No, he’s busy with other things, and if I’m being honest.” Fury sighed, “SHIELD was supposed to keep track of this information.”  
  
“For an intelligence organization that wasn’t very-“  
  
He interrupted you. “We’ve done some re-staffing since DC, as I’m sure you’re aware. Just find the information, retrieve it or destroy all traces of it.”  
  
You nodded, “Do I have any leads to go on?”  
  


* * *

The next few weeks were a blur. You were constantly traveling between the new SHIELD headquarters, the computer archives of Stark tower, and interviewing people everywhere in between. There was no downtime.  
  
On the rare occasion that you didn’t return to your room and collapse asleep instantly, you were spending time helping Stark with your explosives and learning some new tricks in between. Or you and Clint were working on breaking in your new weapons.   
  
Loki and Thor would occasionally spar in the training room, but you rarely saw the two brothers together. Thor was usually completely gone from the tower. Loki stayed alone on his floor. He had free movement around the Earth, but no one was eager to leave him alone. Old fears die hard.   
  
You did occasionally manage to stop at the library and read some, but you usually fell asleep before you could get very far. Once or twice you had woken to Loki glaring down at you but he never said much. You smiled, remembering that you had managed to get your grumpy partner to eat with you on those occasions.  
  
The thing that always stayed on the back of your mind was Steve and Natasha; you hadn’t seen them since Steve ate breakfast on the same day you got your weapons. You were no stranger to long missions and not seeing people for weeks, even months on end, but you couldn’t help but think that one of the Avengers (particularly  _the_ Captain America) being missing for this long of a time period as being strange.   
  
You could tell the others shared your thoughts but threats were constantly coming in and there was no downtime to worry about it.  
  
Then finally:  
  
“There!” You jumped up excitedly, pumping your fist into the air.

“What is it?” Clint walked over, eating a sandwich as he looked at the computer screen you were studying.

“I finally got the trace down. The information Fury sent me after.” You added, noting his confused expression.

He nodded, “Oh, right right right.”  
  
“Looks like Justin Hammer kept some of Ivan Vanko’s work and ended up auctioning it off to the highest bidder.” Clint still looked confused. “You know, that guy a couple years ago, he attacked Stark with the two electric whip things? Sheesh, where were you for that?”  
  
Clint shrugged, “Budapest.”

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask, what happened-?” Clint waved at you as he walked away. You sighed and brushed a strand of hair out of your face. You pulled out your phone, “Director Fury.” You waited.  
  
“Agent?” Fury answered.  
  
“I got a location. Some of the tech that Ivan Vanko made from Stark’s weaponry stayed with Hammer and his allies. It looks like he sold it off to a rogue group, I can’t find ties to any major organizations but the base of operations appears to be in northern,” you paused as you looked at the map on your screen. “Canada.”  
  
“Alright, you and Loki leave tomorrow morning. We’ll have a quinjet set up to pick you up then.”  
  
You nodded glumly, “Alright.” It would be cold.  
  
“Good work agent.” The line disconnected.  
  
You sighed as you looked at the coordinates. The jet would have to drop you at lower latitude than you’d like. The weather much farther north could potentially damage the engines and staying low profile on this group’s security would mean that a ground setup would be an all-around better choice.  
  
You stood up and stretched, looks like you had the rest of the day off.  
  
Now was as good a time as any to tell Loki about the mission schematics. You rode the elevator to his floor, trying to stifle yawns.   
  
When the doors opened, you looked around. After growing annoyed with falling asleep on the floor, you finally brought a chair into the library and made a little nest for yourself. Today, you saw, in your nest was a sleeping Loki.  
  
Your mouth dropped open at how different he looked when he was asleep. The cold exterior that he always held towards everyone was gone and you found that he looked relatively peaceful, almost happy. You smiled softly at him.  
  
You stepped a little closer and then saw that even sleeping, something looked off. His eyes were shut tightly and there were dark circles under his eyes. His skin was pale but you could see a sheen of sweat and realized his jaw was clenched. He was shaking and you could hear the faintest whimpering sounds. He was in  _pain_.  
  
You could feel your heart breaking and you reached for his shoulder before gently touching it.  
Instantly his eyes shot open and his hand grabbed your wrist, pushing you away. You yelped at his vise-like grip. “Loki!”  
  
You could see the fog of sleep finally leave his eyes as he recognized where he was and then who you were. “Oh…” Loki was out of breath. “(y/n)…” He let go of you. After a moment he glanced down at your bright red wrist and a pained expression crossed his face. “I’m so sorry…” He muttered under his breath.  
  
“Are you ok?” you asked hesitantly.  
  
Loki’s eyes scanned your face. “I’m fine.” He said harshly, standing.  
  
“Wait,” you said and he glanced back at you. “We have a mission, the quinjet will be here tomorrow morning.” He nodded at you. “We have the rest of the day off, do you want to watch a movie maybe?”  
  
He hesitated and you could see a look of longing on his face but it was gone once more, replaced by his cold exterior. “No, I’m going to finish reading.” With that, Loki disappeared between the shelves. You could hear his door shutting and then you were left alone in the silence, nursing your bruised wrist.


	7. Chapter 7

Your short conversation with Loki left you deep in thought but you wanted to enjoy the rare downtime you’d just received.  
  
You rode the elevator to the top floor and walked across to the lounge. Sitting down on the spacious couch, you sprawled out comfortably. “Hey JARVIS, can you pick a movie for me?”  
After a few seconds of silence, the floor to ceiling screen opened up. You watched the pre-credits play but found yourself nervous.  
  
You pulled out the blades Stark had given you, along with your old whetstone. Absentmindedly, you started to run the smooth stone across the blades’ surfaces.  
  
“I thought Stark made those so you didn’t have to sharpen them.” You turned your head back and saw Clint walking towards you, juicebox in hand.  
  
You sighed, “I don’t, nervous habit really; I find the sound soothing.” Clint nodded and sat down beside you. “I mentioned it to Tony and he gave me a whetstone that wouldn’t damage his handiwork but would still match the sound. It helps me think too.”  
  
“Nervous habit?” He asked and you nodded. “Oh right, you and Loki head out tomorrow morning. Two days in the wilderness.” He paused, “minimum.” Again you nodded.  
  
“He still seems to hate me.”  
  
Clint shrugged as he pulled out his quiver and started ordering the arrows on the table. “He’s been less grumpy since you got here. He hasn’t been nearly as troublesome to Fury also. You’ll do fine.”  
  
You smiled, “Thanks Clint.” You looked at the arrows spread across the table. “You worried about Natasha too, huh?”  
  
He grimaced, “That obvious?”  
  
“The arrows.” You pointed to his mess. “She’s fine.”  
  
“You really think so?” He looked doubtful but you could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes.  
  
You patted his leg. “Hell, I’m more worried for whoever she’s after.”  
  
Clint grinned, “Thanks.”  
  
The movie’s opening music started playing and you looked at the screen. “JARVIS, I fucking hate your sense of humor…”  
“Do you wanna build a snowman?” The little girl on screen asked.  
  
“No…” Clint groaned.  
  
“I’m the one going to the fucking arctic tomorrow, don’t you complain.” You watched the king and queen take Anna to the trolls.  
  
“Natasha has it easy… I’m sure as long as she’s not stuck watching this movie, her mission won’t be that bad.”  
  
You grinned, “Oh come on, I kinda like this movie.” Clint glared at you. “Now,” you leaned against him and whispered, at the same time as Anna, “Do you wanna build a snowman?”  
  
Clint shoved you over and got up. “Go away (y/n).” he said at the same time as Elsa. You started laughing as he got on the elevator. You watched him roll his eyes as the doors shut, leaving you alone to watch the movie and sing along.  
  
After a few minutes, your eyes started to grow heavy and you found yourself nodding off. “I’ll close my eyes and listen to it.” You murmured quietly. Then you were fast asleep.  
  


* * *

  
The door open and Loki stepped out, the room was quiet. He walked past the couch and towards the kitchen, absentmindedly glancing down. He saw your sleeping figure on the couch and couldn’t help smiling. Then he sighed and conjured a blanket over you. You snuggled into the blanket and a smile played across your lips as you slept.  
  
Loki ate and came back to the room; he walked past you sleeping on the couch. Your head was at an uncomfortable angle and he knew you would wake up with a crick in your neck.  
  
He was about to walk away and go back to his room when a thought crossed his mind. You had brought him supper occasionally and were always friendly, friendlier than Thor even. And most recently, he admitted grudgingly, you had saved him from a particularly bad nightmare.  
He sighed and walked back to your sleeping form on the couch. With a wave of his hand, green light surrounded the both of you.  
  
To the outside viewer, Loki bent down and shook you awake. Your eyes opened, foggy from sleep. Then you quietly followed him to the elevator until it got to your floor and you exited, mindlessly walking to your room.  
  
What actually happened, after the spell enveloped the two of you, Loki gently lifted you from the couch. He carried you to the elevator, and as he held you in his arms, you instinctively curled into his chest. A small smile played at the corner of Loki’s mouth.  
After the elevator arrived at your floor, Loki carefully carried you to your room. He placed you gently on the bed, lifted the covers and slid you underneath.  
The green blanket you had been wrapped in disappeared and Loki walked out, gently shutting the door. He reentered the elevator and returned to his own floor.  
  
The illusions faded and the security cameras would be none the wiser.  
  
When he got to his room, Loki changed into his (still fascinatingly soft) sleepwear. Lying down on his bed, and slowly closing his eyes, Loki couldn’t help but smile at the memory of the warmth of holding you in his arms.  
  
His eyes shot open and he sat up glaring.  
You were some pathetic mortal, Midgardian no less.  
  
He lifted the book he had been reading earlier from his nightstand and started to read. Loki growled as he pushed the pillows up behind him. Once he was comfortable, he became lost in the complex text of an ancient, long forgotten language.  
  


* * *

  
You woke up a few hours later and looked at the time, it was around eight. ‘Damn I slept for a while…’ you thought, and then looked around.  
  
You sat bolt upright and kicked the blankets off you. “How the hell did I get in my room?” Startled, you kept looking around. Maybe Clint woke you up? You tried to think but came up blank. ‘I must’ve been so tired that I forgot leaving the room…’  
  
You got out of bed and heard your stomach rumbling. “I’ll get some food and then go back to sleep for the rest of the night.” You muttered as you made your way upstairs.  
The kitchen was dark but the lights turned on as you entered. You scrounged around for some food and then went back downstairs to sleep. In a couple hours, you would wake up, shower, grab some breakfast and then you would be waiting at the quinjet landing, ready for your first mission with Loki.  
  
  
  
When you awoke the next morning and showered, you dressed in your SHIELD commissioned jumpsuit. However, this was your winter one. It had a built in heater, a fur hood, and a mask that you could pull over your face. There was a pair of snow goggles that you also grabbed, they were excellent for shielding you from the harsh winds. You let them hang loosely around your neck since they were near useless in your current conditions.  
  
You went to the kitchen to grab breakfast. At the table were two bags. You peeked inside and saw a set of SHIELD issued meal bars. Even though they were small, each bar contained enough calories and nutrients to count as a full meal. You grimaced, flavor was not important to the SHIELD scientists and you knew just how disgusting they tasted.  
  
“Thanks JARVIS.”  
  
“Of course, miss.”  
  
Loki sat on the couch and waited for you to finish eating.  
  
“You already ate?” He nodded without looking up from his book. You noticed that he wore his usual leather armour. “It’s going to be really cold.”  
  
This time he looked up at you, “I’m aware.”  
  
“No winter clothing?”  
  
He shrugged, “Don’t worry, this will suffice.”  
  
You shrugged your shoulders and rolled your eyes. “Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  
  
The corner of his mouth quirked into a smile, then he asked, “What are those strange bags?”  
  
You tossed one to him. Loki caught it easily. “Food, they should keep us well-nourished for a week or so, anything longer on such a simple mission, well that’d be pathetic on our part.”  
  
Loki nodded; the two of you turned your attention to the quinjet landing, there was no sign of it but the sky was still dark.  
  
You sat down on the couch, crossing your arms and putting your feet up on the table. Time passed in silence, you occasionally glanced at Loki but he continued reading his book. You sighed and tapped your foot in boredom.  
Just as you considered going to the library to grab a book, the sound of engines filled the sky. With a start, you turned to look outside. The quinjet slowly descended and the rear opened, waiting for you to board.  
  
Loki stood and walked to the jet. “Shall we begin agent?”


	8. Chapter 8

You and Loki rode in the rear of the jet in silence. “It should only be four hours until we land.” The pilot called back over the roaring of the engines.  
  
You gave him a thumbs-up and looked at Loki for some sign of confirmation.  
He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and foot tapping in silence. You couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or bored, maybe both.  
  
You sat on the opposite side of him. After a few minutes, you stood up and started walking around. Loki’s eyes followed you, you swore the intensity of his gaze could burn a hole in you.  A few more minutes and the quinjet hit a cruising altitude and the roaring had ceased. You could talk at a normal level.  
  
“Have you ever been on one of these before?” You asked Loki.  
  
Loki smirked. “Just once or twice. Thor cut my ride short though.” You nodded thoughtfully. “I was also relatively tied up.” He added ruefully.  
  
“The other time?” You asked.  
  
“SHIELD’s helicarrier was falling from the sky…” he muttered. He almost sounded sheepish.  
  
“Do you regret trying to enslave humanity?”  
  
“Not really.” He shrugged. “And I wasn’t really trying to enslave humanity, I was only going to rule it. A benevolent god, if you will.”  
  
You glared at him, “You blew up half of New York, that’s not very benevolent.”  
  
Loki shrugged unapologetically, “I learned those ruling skills from Odin, the dear all-father…” he nearly spat the last word and you looked over at him. His eyes were nearly black and he seemed lost in thought.  
  
“Thor’s dad?” He turned his head sharply to stare at you. “You were more or less adopted.” He narrowed his eyes at you as you spoke. “I asked Thor,” your voice started to become hesitant. “He said-“  
  
Loki stood up and glared at you. Suddenly he was very close and towering over you. “That wretch,  _Odin_ ,” he spat the word as if it were a curse, “stole an infant in the midst of a war from an enemy king. He then raised the bastard child as if it were loved and had some sort of right as a king.” Loki paused and then said, “Odin made it very clear to me that that was never the case. This war trophy was the means to an end; he would have gladly left me to die otherwise.” You couldn’t help but shrink back in fear. Loki’s eyes were filled with such wrath; you felt very small. He stepped away from you and looked out the window. “That no longer matters. I’m here on Midgard to aid Thor, I have no other reason.”  
  
It seemed like he trailed off, but you couldn’t help but wonder if that were actually the end of his sentence. ‘I’m here to aid Thor, I have no other reason.’ ‘No other reason,’ you repeated the phrase to yourself. “They said you were tortured.”  
  
His gaze snapped back to you again, “What?” He hissed.  
  
“Not they!” You quickly backtracked. “I saw the SHIELD footage from when you first got to Earth, uh Midgard.”  He still looked at you with narrowed eyes so you nervously pushed on. “What you looked like, the cameras, you looked like you were suffering from heat exhaustion. And your every movement looked deliberate and pained.” He looked at you curiously, but no less angry. “And then your eyes.”  
  
“My eyes?”  
  
“They’re an amazing-“ you coughed, “green, very particularly green.”  
  
He shrugged, “Well yes.”  
  
“When you came to Midgard, they weren’t. I studied your case file closely, I knew I was going to be working with you and I wasn’t going to suddenly be partners with anyone, going in completely blind. Even if I was working with Captain Rogers or someone, I would’ve wanted to make sure I knew everything I could about them.”  
  
“And what do my eyes have to do with anything?”  
  
“When Selvig was possessed by the tesseract, his eyes were bright blue, so were Clint’s.” He still seemed confused. “During some of my downtime over the last month, it occurred to me about the eye colour change. Whatever caused the tesseract to control others, it affected you.” You finished timidly.  
  
He just grunted then returned his gaze to the window. He seemed lost in thought and you tried one last time.  
  
“I haven’t talked to Thor, not really, this is just my observations.” He didn’t acknowledge you, so you took this as a sign that you could continue. “I mean, I’ve talked to Thor in general, we’re both Avengers, but you can see how dearly he cares for you.” Loki’s back was turned to you, but his shoulders seemed less tense. “You can’t fake that type of love and it’s not one sided. There’s no way he could have that much affection for you without it being reciprocated. So I don’t know what that Odin guy said, or did, or even thinks, but you’re not a monster. The tesseract seems to play on emotions that already exist, so if anyone was hurt or betrayed or something, it’d be like tenfold.” You looked up at the ceiling as you continued talking; you were afraid what might happen if you stopped, that look in his eyes was terrifying. “So a regular human finds out they’re adopted in such painful terms, they’d want to lash out at people. But then you take an Asgardian, someone with that type of power and let them lash out at people, all that damage would be cataclysmic. But then I was thinking, if you were tortured on top of all that, you were probably mad with pain and were practically a force of nature just unleashed in one place.”  
  
Loki turned around and gently placed his hand on your shoulder. He smiled softly as he looked down at you, “Thank you.”  
  
“That’s what partners do.” You beamed up at him.  
  
Loki looked down at you amused, “Yes, I suppose they do.” Then he smirked, “This doesn’t change anything, though, I still don’t like you.”  
  
You stuck your tongue out at him, “Good, grumpy old guy who thinks he’s a god…”  
  
His eyes narrowed and he glared at you. “I can snap your neck quite easily from this position.”  
  
You glanced down nervously at his hand and stepped back. “Sorry…”  
  
Loki turned away from you and was staring out the window. A force of nature? That made sense. He hardly felt in control the entire time he was last on Earth. The memories alone were hazy. There was no way he would dare admit to anyone, even Thor, about the tortures that still plagued his mind. Yet you had somehow picked up on them, not the extent of the horrors he faced when he closed his eyes, but you could see the traces of his pain.  
Loki cast a glance over his shoulder; you were sitting down and staring at your shoes in silence.  
  
  
  
The rest of the flight was filled with silence. Loki stood there thinking of your words. Had he really not betrayed Thor as much as he feared? He wouldn’t admit the remorse he felt at trying to kill his brother, not even to himself, but the feeling was still there; it lay buried under layers of emotional armour he had carefully cultivated over the centuries of feeling like an outcast, not as good as Thor, and that constant doubt that Odin never truly cared for him.  
  
You sat there wondering if you had crossed a boundary with Loki; that you had done something that might push him over the edge and back into the madness that still afflicted him.  
Maybe it was walking in on him sleeping, seeing the pain of whatever nightmare had horrified him, you knew that he was suffering.  
But no matter what, you knew some remnant of that torture stayed with him.  
  
When he had been asleep, you saw that innocence that lay beneath his cold exterior and knew that someone had to make sure he was given a second chance.  
  
Around him, you still had that sensation of butterflies, the type you’d experienced years ago around childhood crushes, but there was also that urge to make sure you protected him.  
You found yourself glad that he was your partner. You vowed to coax that remnant of humanity that still resided in him and bring it to the surface. That is what partners, no, friends, do.  
You smiled as you looked at him. You promised yourself that no matter what, you would support him and be there for him.  
  


* * *

  
  
The quinjet started to descend and the engines became louder. It shuddered as it made contact with the ground. The rear door opened and you exited followed closely by Loki.  
  
You had landed on the outskirts of a small town. Several metres away, there was an abandoned looking shed.  
  
“Erm…” You looked around unsure.  
  
“There.” Loki walked towards the shed. He glanced back at you and sighed at your hesitation. “Don’t you see the insignia?”  
As you got closer, you managed to make out the SHIELD symbol.  
Loki pressed his hand against it and the building shuddered. After a moment, one of the walls opened to reveal a small room. There was a computer on the wall and to the side, something covered in a cloth.  
  
“Schematics of the mission and local maps…” Loki murmured as he look at the screen. “This technology is so old.” He muttered, making a face.  
  
You laughed and lifted the covered item. “Ahh…” you exhaled softly.  
  
“What?” Loki asked, looking over.  
  
“A snowmobile. Seems they gave us only one.”  
  
“Snowmobile?”  
  
“A vehicle to efficiently traverse snowy land. Help us get there without the extra fuss of walking.” You looked over at him. “I take it you don’t know how to drive one.”  
  
Loki clenched his jaw, “No.”  
  
“Guess I’m driving then.” You sat down, then slowly turned it on. It was far quieter than the average snowmobile. You raised an eyebrow, “Covert, very nice.” You backed out of the shed and revved it experimentally. Loki hadn’t moved and was eyeing it distastefully. “Get on, dumbass.”  
  
He glared at you before walking over and sitting behind you. “Now what?”  
  
“Well, you’re going to have to hold on if you don’t want to fall off.”  
  
Loki let out an exasperated sigh. “The Norns truly loath me…”  
  
“Go on, partner.” He wrapped his arms around you, trying to keep as much space between you as possible. You could hear him muttering darkly under his breath. You only caught a few words but none were pleasant. With a smirk, you revved the snowmobile forward. His grasp tightened on you, then you stopped and he slipped forward until he was full on embracing you. “Aww… Hugging a filthy mortal.” You teased. He was silent this time.  
  
At the back of your mind you found yourself appreciating the closeness. ‘Of course you are,’ you thought to yourself, ‘it’s starting to get cold and he was comfortingly warm.’  
“Ready?” You shot forward and Loki was back to holding you tightly so he wouldn’t fall off.  
  


* * *

  
You drove for two hours or so, the goggles protecting your eyes from the burning wind. After that, you found yourself outside a forest, another hour passed and you broke free of the tree line. You glanced down at your coordinates. “It should be around here,” you turned off the snowmobile and looked around. You and Loki had reached the edge of the forest and were looking out over a valley.  
You reached into a compartment on the snowmobile and grabbed a pair of binoculars, surveying the land. Loki stood next to you and followed your gaze. “Do you see anything?” You asked him.  
  
“Give me those.” You handed Loki the binoculars and he looked around. “There.” He pointed.  
  
You took the binoculars back and looked where he had pointed. “Looks like a snow drift.”  
  
Loki nodded, “It’s a small building. If they’re smart at all, they’ll want a low building to save resources on heating.”  
  
“Plus there’s no links to major threats, so it should be a small base.” You agreed with him.  
  
“Above ground will probably just hold means of transportation, it would be more efficient than transporting the vehicles to various levels. Also digging that deep in near permafrost conditions would take a greater deal of resources than Midgardians have access to.”  
  
“SHIELD’s kept track of this area, there hasn’t been any major construction. It’s going to be at most two levels deep.” You paused a moment. “I have to get explosives on the four corners outside, and then the more that I can plant inside, the better. The nanos should level it, and then I’ll add some incendiaries and that’ll wipe all traces of the building.” You walked back to the snowmobile and found another compartment, there was a pullout tent, more like a lean-to that could shelter you from the wind.  
  
“So we’ll stay here until tonight, where you will sneak down and plant your explosives.” You nodded and Loki continued. “Then tomorrow we’ll have to get inside to plant the rest of them?”  
  
“That’s the plan.” You pulled out the tent and set it up, there was a slight heater that came from the snowmobile’s engine and afforded you some warmth against the cold air. You sat down and leaned against the heater, enjoying its warmth.  
  
Loki crouched down a distance from the tent and continued watching the building.  
You yawned then asked, “Do you think we’ll get lucky and have some vehicle enter and then I can just sneak in afterwards?”  
  
Loki scoffed at you. “I wouldn’t get my hopes up.”  
  
You turned the heat up on your jumpsuit, but even leaning against the tent’s heater, you still found yourself shivering some. “You’re not cold?” Loki shook his head at you.  
  
You and Loki stayed there in silence. Several hours passed that way; you must have dozed off because you were next aware of Loki shaking you. “(y/n),” he hissed. “Wake up.”  
  
You looked around, somewhat groggy. Then you were awake instantly, for you realized the sun had set and it was dark.  
“There’s been no movement all day.” Loki whispered. “I don’t trust them not to move now, night would be the optimal time. Also, the snowmobile left tracks into the forest. The forest itself will have covered our tracks but if anyone travels to that village we came from, they’ll easily see the path we took.”  
  
“Damn…” you cursed under your breath. You stood up and pulled your hood up and covered your face with your mask. As soon as you left the shelter of the tent, you knew you were in subzero temperatures and you couldn’t stop the shivers. Loki chuckled and you shot him a glare.  
  
“How long should I wait before I assume your pathetic mortal hide needs saving?” You opened your mouth to say something. “I’m only repaying the compliment you gave me earlier.”  
  
You pulled a face and said. “Give me a half hour.”  
  
“Twenty minutes, then I come looking for you.”  
  
You smirked. “Alright.”


	9. Chapter 9

Trying to control your shivering and keeping your teeth from chattering, you carefully made your way to the bunker. After fifteen minutes, the explosives were in place and you carefully made your way back to the forest edge where Loki was sitting.  
He had his arms crossed and his eyes closed, sitting outside the tent. As you approached him he opened his eyes, the green irises seemed to glow in the dark. “I was about to come looking for you.”  
  
You shrugged, “Get some rest, I can stand watch.”  
  
Loki nodded before lying down on the snowy ground. He stretched out like a cat and was instantly fast asleep.  
  
Every so often, you would get up and walk around, stomping your feet and trying to keep the blood flowing. You stole glances at Loki, wondering how he managed to sleep on the snow and not appear cold at all. You scowled at him but knew it was only fair for you to be awake after falling asleep during the day.  
  
Around three in the morning, Loki sat up. “Go to sleep agent.”  
  
You looked over at him, startled. “I’m fine.” You said but couldn’t hide the shivers.  
  
“You’re going to freeze, I should’ve stayed awake for the night. I forgot how susceptible to cold others are. I’ll wake you up in the morning.”  
  
You wanted to argue but your shivering was getting worse. With a heavy sigh you crawled back into the tent. “Thanks Loki…” you murmured as you fell asleep.  
  
Loki sat outside and leaned against the snowmobile, he had taken out his scepter and was idly rolling it in his hands. He glanced at the tent where you were sleeping, then continued watching the building until the sun started to rise.  
  
  
  
You were startled awake by Loki shaking you roughly. “Wake up,” he hissed.   
It was late morning, you looked around groggy. Why were you so tired, you were a field agent and used to this sort of condition.  
Everything snapped to focus and you sat up, wide awake. “Sorry.” You mumbled as you stood up stretching.  
  
“It’s colder than expected.” Loki said, shrugging.  
  
“It’s pathetic that I’m this exhausted.”  
  
“Well yes, but you are human.”  
  
You glared at him then rolled your eyes. “Right, and you’re you.”  
  
He narrowed his eyes, confused. “What’s that supposed to mean, mortal?”  
  
“Nothing.” You smirked and stretched your arms. “Any changes?”  
  
Oddly enough, Loki dropped the subject and answered you. “No, nothing. I’m thinking they saw the SHIELD quinjet and are going to lay low for a bit. I don’t feel like waiting weeks when they’re only humans though.”  
  
You nodded, appreciating Loki as a tactician. For all his arrogance, he was still clever and highly intelligent. You knew he had largely been the brains of Thor’s group. Not that Thor was stupid by any means, his talents were better focused elsewhere. Also, Loki’s silvertongue was able to do quite a bit of manipulating.  
  
“Would that be too much of an underestimation?” You asked. “I know humans are weaker than you, but we’re trying to destroy a base of unknown size and unknown defenses.”  
  
Loki hesitated as he thought. He hated humans, loathed them, but he wasn’t going to underestimate an enemy. Also, you were involved. Were your skills enough to be an asset to him, or should he count you as something to be protected and slow him down.  
  
You weren’t allowed to die on his watch.  
  
Loki sighed. “Can you match the Black Widow for subterfuge abilities?”  
  
You bit your lip, knowing that an accurate comparison could mean success or failure, life or death even. Now was not the time for modesty. “I’ve had a little less solo practice. One on one skill, it’d be a close match. She probably has me beat though. I am one of the best for stealth in SHIELD.” You added.  
  
“I’m going to make a distraction then. That’s usually Thor’s method.” Loki added with distaste. “Might as well find out just how strong their weaponry is.”  
  
“Is that a good idea?” You asked unsure. “We could call for backup.”  
  
Loki glared at you. “No.” He jerked his chin towards the snowmobile. “Show me how to move this wretched device and then watch for the building to open.”  
  
After you showed Loki the basics of driving and had everything stowed inside the compartments, you crouched down and watched him slowly drive off. Loki drove out of the clearing, his hair blowing gently in the breeze. You couldn’t help but snicker at how slow and uncomfortable he looked.  
  
  
  
Loki drove along slowly, he wanted to glance back but he knew doing so would put you at risk so he ignored the urge.  
  
With a sudden revving of the engine, the snowmobile kicked up. Loki added a barely discernable amount of magic and he and the snowmobile were thrown in the air.  
He landed in a heap next to the overturned bike and lay there a moment.  
  
No signs of movement.  
  
Slowly he stood up and glared. “Useless Midgardian contraption!” He yelled. With a wave of his hand, so small that no one would detect it, smoke started coming out of the vehicle’s side.  
  
  
  
You remained silent in the bush, you could hear the commotion and badly wanted to look, but didn’t know if you’d have time. A sudden bang filled the air and you started to move.  
  
Your white jumpsuit, with the facemask pulled up, made you nearly invisible in the bright snow. You crawled along so your shadow was harder to detect. It dawned on you that Loki’s noon attack was brilliant. The light directly above you covered your shadow and made it almost nonexistent. You returned your attention to the bunker as the door started to open. Vehicles poured out and swarmed towards Loki’s location.  
You ghosted your way to the doors, rolling through, just as they closed.  
Once inside, you activated a button on your jumpsuit. You could feel a rippling of scales as the colours changed to a dull grey.  
  
With the doors shut behind you, you climbed up to the ceiling and made your way to the heart of the base. The sound of a massive explosion outside caused you to glance back. ‘Be careful Loki…’ you thought silently before returning your attention to the task at hand.  
  
  
  
Outside Loki was dusting the snow off himself as he stood up.  
  
The hangar doors started to close and he could only hope you were inside. Loki watched as five heavily armed jeeps sped towards him.  
With a blast of energy from his scepter, one of the vehicles went up in flames.  
  
A compartment on one of the other vehicles opened and Loki recognized a rocket flying at him. He dove to the side as the ground erupted where he previously stood.  
  
Loki rolled over and was back on his feet, just as another rocket was launched at him. A burst of magic and it exploded, he held up his arm to shield himself from the extra shrapnel, grunting as a few bits hit him. Then there was machine gun fire and he managed to create a force field to take the brunt of the damage.  
  
When the smoke, dirt, blown up snow, and dust had cleared, Loki lowered his arms and found himself surrounded. Two vehicles were on either side of him.  
  
Loki smirked as one of the doors opened. He glanced down and saw one of the rockets had hit the snowmobile, then he returned his attention to the men approaching him.  
  
“Put your hands in the air and stand down.”  
  
Each vehicle was armed with a rocket launcher and all were focused on him.  
  
The staff vanished, then he held up his hands and slowly knelt down. Instantly Loki was surrounded. He looked around, bored; based on the numbers, most of the base’s forces were probably deployed. ‘Less numbers for (y/n) to encounter.’ He thought idly.  
Rough hands shoved his own hands behind his back and he felt the familiar sensation of metal reinforcements on his skin. It was pleasant to know there were no runes binding his magic though.  
  
A man stepped forward, carrying a burlap sack and Loki’s eyes flashed. ‘Cover my face and I won’t be the one regretting this.’ Loki thought, knowing he was in the man’s mind. The man hesitated.  
  
“What are you doing?” Another guy asked the man holding the bag.  
  
The man with the bag hesitated, “He’s already seen us, no point in covering his face.”  
  
The first man shrugged but made a grunt of assent.  
  
Another man who appeared to be their leader stepped forward. “Pretty clothes you got there, boy.”  
Loki raised his eyebrow but stayed quiet.  
  
The leader lifted his gun and cracked the butt into Loki’s stomach. Loki grunted and bent over as his breath was knocked out. “I had friends in that vehicle, asshole.”  
  
Loki chuckled, “That’s unfortunate, I’ll keep that in mind in the future.”  _Crack_. Loki’s head snapped to the side as the gun collided with the side of his face.  
  
“Get him in the car. I wanna hear him sing.” They roughly pulled Loki to his feet. “You’re gonna suffer for what you did, after of course. First we’ll find out why you’re here.”  
  
Loki smirked. “I look forward to it.” His voice was cold.  
  
The man pulled out a dagger and grabbed Loki’s hair, holding the blade to Loki’s throat. Loki’s eyes narrowed as he warily eyed the blade. “Not so funny now, are you, smartass?” The man smirked. The leader let go of Loki’s hair and cracked the hilt against Loki’s face. “Get him out of my sight.”


	10. Chapter 10

Loki rode silently in the car, two faceless guards on either side of him. The leader rode in the front seat with his feet on the dash. Another faceless guard drove. The people in the car jostled up and down on the bumpy terrain but the leader glared stoically ahead.  
  
Loki inspected his surroundings curiously, he smiled.  
  
The guard next to Loki was the one who had held the burlap sack. He eyed Loki uneasily. Loki flashed his teeth in a smile then returned to looking around the car. Loki’s hands were secured together in his lap. He idly looked down, he could sense the tumblers in the lock and knew exactly how to pick it, not that it mattered with his strength, or with his magic.   
  
“I don’t like this, boss.” The man with the sack said.  
  
“Shut up Jerry.” The man on Loki’s other side growled.  
  
The leader glanced up in the rearview mirror at Loki’s smiling face. He glared but returned his attention to the outside. The car was entering the hangar, it hadn’t taken that long to drive to or from where the snowmobile had been.  
  
“But Brett-“ Jerry was cut off by a sharp look from the man on Loki’s side.  
  
“You heard the man,” Loki whispered softly.  
  
The car door opened and Brett stepped out, dragging Loki out and tossing him unceremoniously on the ground. Loki hit the ground on his stomach, then slowly leaned back on his knees. He looked around the room then, just as he returned his gaze to the leader, Loki felt another crack against his skull. His head snapped to the side and he blinked hard, gently shaking himself.  
“What is that,” Loki asked through gritted teeth, “four now?”  
  
The boss spat, “Get him up.”  
  
Brett roughly dragged Loki to his feet and started leading him down the hall. Jerry walked behind Loki, and even further behind was their leader.  
  
As they arrived at a dingy room, lit only by a single lightbulb, Jerry stopped. He tried to cover his ears, eyes closed in pain.  
  
“Jerry, what the hell is wrong with you?” Brett yelled, annoyed.  
  
Jerry shook his head, “The voices, make them stop…” he moaned.  
  
Loki grinned wickedly then shrugged and looked around. He held up his hands innocently, “I’m not doing anything.” The leader growled and raised the gun to hit Loki again.  
  
This time Loki moved aside, catching the butt of the rifle and moving the momentum to hit Brett. Brett fell to the ground unconscious. By now Jerry was screaming.  
  
Loki wrenched his hands apart, snapping the cuffs. He plunged the rifle onto his thigh, cleanly snapping it in two and turned his gaze towards the leader.  
  
The man reached towards his waist for the dagger but he hesitated in fear as the gun fell to pieces at Loki’s feet. “What are you?” His eyes widened as he stepped back.  
Loki rolled his eyes, and then lunged at the man.  
  


* * *

  
You were crawling along the ceiling, acutely aware of sounds on the floor above you. You had gone down two floors, the ground where the hangar was, a floor underneath it, and now the one you were currently at. One or two people strolled through the hall at irregular intervals. They didn’t seem to be guarding it, so much as maintaining a presence, seeing as it was never the same person.  
  
You figured they were traveling from room to room. What they were doing, you were unsure of.  
  
You wore gloves with claw like grips that allowed you to stay attached to the ceiling, and your shoes had grippy soles, allowing for extra traction. Crawling on the ceiling was slow moving, but for now, you were trying to maintain as low a profile as possible.  
  
You reached the end of the hall and saw a single room with a thick lock and keycard scanner. You detached the claws and fell to the ground silently, drawing a dagger in one hand and a small explosive in the other. You pressed the explosive against the door handle and watched the nanos eat away at the metal. A scent similar to burning plastic filled the air, then with a ping, the lock fell to the ground and the door swung open easily.  
  
A man at a set of monitors spun around as you walked in. “Hey! You’re not authorized-“ His sentenced was cut off as he yelped; the shockstick part of your dagger causing him to fall to the ground unconscious.  
  
You bent over the computers and scanned the various screens. Tony had made a computer virus on a flashdrive for you. He set it up to connect to any file of your choosing. If that file left the original computer, the virus would follow it and immediately lay waste to every new location it arrived at.  
As it uploaded, you scanned the security monitors.  
  
 **Holding cell.**  
  
You looked at the room and saw three men lying on the ground; you couldn’t tell if they were dead or unconscious, but you figured that you had found Loki.  
Footsteps sounded from behind you.  
  
“Hello girly.” A man said, standing in the doorway. He held a gun aimed at you, finger on the trigger.  
  
You flinched, knowing there wasn’t enough time to reach and disarm him, and that you were too slow to dodge it.  
‘Worth a shot,’ you figured. You reached towards your waist. The man in front of you yelled then his voice was cut off by a sickening slice. The sound gurgled in his throat as a blade protruded from his chest.  
The man fell to the ground as the blade withdrew. Loki stood over the body, looking down in disgust. “You’re welcome.” He seemed bored. There wasn’t a mark on him, even after the multiple blows to his face. He saw you looking him over. “None of the blood is mine.” He added mildly.  
  
You chuckled and sighed in relief, then rolled your eyes and returned to the screen. “This should be it…” Loki nodded and leaned against the doorway. “And I was perfectly fine.” You quietly added.  
  
Naturally Loki heard you. “Oh really?”  
  
“Yes really!” You retorted. Loki shoved you to the side. “Hey!” you yelled as you fell over. A bullet shot past you and buried in the wall, centimetres from where your head had been.  
  
Loki stepped in front of you as another bullet bounced off his armor. He grunted then shot a wave of energy from his scepter. He exhaled then cast a look at you. “You were saying?”  
  
You slowly stood up and returned the flashdrive to your pocket. “Shut up…” you muttered sheepishly.   
  
You could hear Loki laugh quietly. “Am I going to have to save you every time?” The ground shook and he nearly lost his balance.  
  
Shooting him a glare, you placed the last set of explosives on the computer. “C’mon partner…” You muttered and started making your way out of the bunker. It was much faster on foot.  
The halls were strewn with unconscious (or dead, you weren’t sure which) bodies.  
Sirens started to fill the air. “Systems compromised. Systems compromised.” It repeated in its computer monotone voice. “Self-destruction protocols activated.” Emergency lights started flashing.  
  
You and Loki switched to a dead on sprint, he grabbed your arm and dragged you faster. You were barely keeping up with him, and then suddenly you were in the hangar area. Minutes later, you were outside as the building behind you erupted in smoke and flames. You and Loki didn’t stop running until you reached the tree line.  
  
You turned back at the smouldering wreckage, bent over, trying to catch your breath. You straightened up as you tried to even out your breathing, while reaching into your pocket and pulling out a detonator. Loki sat down and leaned back in the snow on one hand.  
Pressing the detonator, you watched as a wave of air rushed towards you and Loki. The building in front of you imploded on itself before sinking into the ground as though it had never existed.  
  
Loki tilted his head and smiled. “I’m impressed.”  
  
You grinned and sat down. “Thank you. I try.” You felt smug.  
  
The sun was setting above the trees around you. After a moment of silence, you realized. “Loki… where’s the snowmobile?”  
  
Loki glanced in the direction of the snowmobile’s wreckage; you followed his gaze and groaned. The smouldering ashes had just died out.  
  
“They shot a rocket at me.” Loki muttered.  
  
“All of our supplies were in that!” You groaned as you covered your face.  
  
Loki sighed and stood up. He kicked away a circle of snow and waved his hand, a small fire appeared in the center, crackling merrily.  
  
You stood back up and moved away, pulling out your radio. Loki sat back down as you walked away and gazed at the fire.  
  
A few minutes passed.  
  
You returned to the fire and put the radio back on your belt loop. Rubbing your hands together, you tried to restore feeling to your fingers.  
  
“So?” Loki’s voice traveled over the fire.  
  
How did he look so comfortable? It’s freezing out. You knelt down and rubbed your hands some more, then held them up to the flames. “I got ahold of our contact. There’s a storm just south of here, it’s too heavy to get us ‘til at least noon tomorrow.” With the sun having set, the temperature started to rapidly drop. You shivered and tried to move closer still to the fire.  
Loki looked lost in thought, you looked up and could see the flames dancing, reflected in his enchanting eyes.  
Your teeth started to chatter and you clenched your jaw, trying to hide it.  
  
“Are you cold, agent?”  
  
“N-no.” Your voice shook with the cold as you shivered. You rubbed your arms and tried to move even closer into the fire, you were nearly in the flames as it was. Your face burned with the heat and you could feel chills down your back in time with the bitter wind.  Even this close to the flames, you were freezing.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “Do you fear that I’ll think you’re weak?”  
  
You glared up at him. “N-no…” you stammered, trying to speak around your shivers.  
  
“You could sit next to me.” He offered.  
  
“You don’t like me.”  
  
“I don’t.” Loki's voice was flat.  
  
You glared at him. “I don’t like you either.” You shivered some more and looked down at your blue fingers, they were starting to turn white. You wrapped your arms around yourself and tried to warm your fingers in your armpits.  
  
“Good, now that we’ve establish that." A small smile played at the corners of his mouth, but you didn't see it. "Come here before you get yourself killed, you foolish mortal.” You glared up at him again. “Fury will want my head if you die, and more importantly, Thor will be upset.”  
  
“Why aren’t you cold?” You managed to say between your teeth chattering.  
  
Loki’s eyes flashed, “Midgardians are far more susceptible to cold than I am.” You nodded suspiciously. Loki sighed then added, “and my jacket is warm?”  
  
You inclined your head thoughtfully, that made sense. “Fine.” You stood up and hunched around the fire until you sat next to Loki.  
  
A green blanket materialized on your shoulders. It was so warm, you thought as your eyes drooped close. It smelled so good too, musky and something like cinnamon and pine.  
‘It smells like Loki.’ Your cold addled brain added. You smiled as you pulled the blanket tighter around yourself.  
  
Loki felt something leaning against him and he looked down; you had fallen asleep.  
He smiled softly and put his arm around you. Loki brushed his fingers through your hair absently then went back to staring at the crackling flames.  
How oblivious to the cold fire is… he thought idly.  
Loki closed his eyes and felt his head drooping, after a moment his head rested on yours and the two of you were fast asleep. Loki’s arm stayed wrapped around you, holding you against him as you curled even closer to his chest.  
  


* * *

  
You woke up and instantly were aware of the cold around you. You curled tighter into your blanket and snuggled your head against your warm pillow. You blinked sleepily, ‘pillow?’ There was a gentle weight on your side as you struggled to sit up. “Loki?” You muttered softly.  
  
“Hmm…?” Loki murmured back.  
  
Loki’s eyes shot open as the two of you realized what had happened. You quickly pulled your head away from his chest, where it had previously been resting and he shot his hand away from your side, pulling it towards himself as though he had been burnt.  
  
You looked at him horrified and he stared back at you, mirroring your expression.  
  
You quickly scooted away, wrapping yourself back tightly under the blanket. “I don’t like you,” you stammered out.  
  
Loki recovered from his surprise faster and glared at you, “Good, I don’t like you either. You’re the one who fell asleep on me anyways.”  
  
You closed your eyes and sighed, after a moment you said. “Well, partners wouldn’t let each other freeze to death.” Loki nodded slowly. “Ok,” You checked the time. The pickup should be soon. You stood up, “That’s settled. And besides, even with Thor and, like, Tony, they would want to share warmth.” You giggled at the mental image and Loki found himself laughing with you.  
  
“That goes without saying. It’s a survival technique.” Loki added.  
  
You noticed that the fire had died during the night, but the sun was warming Loki’s blanket around your shoulders and you shivered less.  
  
After a short while, you could hear the telltale sound of a quinjet lowering itself to the ground. The quinjet landed a couple meters away. Loki walked over towards you, you handed him his blanket and with a wave of his hand, it disappeared.  
  
“Let’s go home,” you yawned. “I’d like to get some actual sleep in my bed.”  
Loki nodded and followed suit. For the briefest second a thought flashed through his mind, there had been no nightmares… but it was gone and quickly forgotten.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face shows up

The quinjet landed on the Avengers Tower balcony. You walked off, stretching your hands above your head and yawning as Loki followed after you.  
You groaned. “It’s sooo nice to be back.” You closed your eyes and tilted your face towards the sun, soaking in the warmth.  
  
Loki chuckled, “And what, pray tell, will you do the next time we’re sent some place cold?”  
  
You shrugged as you opened your eyes. “Complain some more.” You grinned as Loki rolled his eyes. “Do you think Steve and Natasha are back yet?”  
  
Loki shrugged. “It has been quite some time.”  
  
“You noticed?”  
  
“Of course I did.”  
  
A group of people came into view as you turned the corner. “Hey guys!” you looked closer. “Steve! Natasha! You’re back!” You ran forward to hug Steve.  
  
“(y/n)!”  Steve hugged you back then turned towards an unfamiliar man with long dark hair.  
  
“Hey, who’s this?” You asked.  
  
The dark haired man was studying you intensely, his blue eyes seemingly boring into you as he struggled to recognize you. You noticed he had a metal arm.  
The man started to smile, “Hey, I’m…” pain flashed across his face and his eyes seemed to go blank. Suddenly he looked confused. “Where am I?” The man growled.  
  
You looked at Steve unsure. Everyone in the room tensed up.  
  
“You’re Bucky.” Steve said slowly, reaching to place his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.  
  
That empty look in his eyes was unnerving. He seemed to be processing what Steve said. “No!” Bucky yelled suddenly, throwing Steve’s arm from his shoulder. “You’re lying!”  
  
“Hey! Take it easy!” You said, stepping towards Bucky.  
  
“(Y/n)! Don’t!” Natasha yelled.  
  
Bucky lunged at you, knocking you off your feet. He landed on top of you and raised his fist to strike. You managed to roll to the side enough for the blow to miss you, instead it sank into the floor.  
You were vaguely aware of the Avengers reacting beside you and Thor entering the room.  
You jumped to your feet and Bucky quickly followed, readying to strike again.  
  
Suddenly, Loki shoved you to the side and kneed Bucky in the stomach. The blow was enough to knock the wind out of him. Bucky paused and grasped at his stomach. Within a second, he regained his composure and charged at Loki, his metal shoulder ready to ram Loki in the chest. Then Loki’s illusion vanished in a glow of green. Bucky faltered, before being thrown to the side by Loki’s strong kick.  
  
Bucky lay sprawled on the floor but quickly returned to his feet. Loki drew a dagger and aimed to throw it.  
  
“Loki no!” Thor tackled Loki, knocking the two brothers to the ground as Steve jumped at Bucky, slamming him against the wall.  
Natasha threw one of her electric stunning disks and Bucky collapsed to his knees before passing out entirely.  
  
“Thor!” Loki growled. “Get off me!” The dagger had been knocked from his hand and lay several feet away. Loki strained to reach it before looking over and seeing the passed out Winter Soldier. Loki groaned then sighed. “Seriously Thor.”  
  
Thor pulled away but kept his arm firmly pressed on Loki, pinning him to the floor. “Brother…”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “Do you mind getting off me  _brother_.” Loki muttered, annoyed. “I can see the fight is over.”  
  
Thor hesitantly stepped away before helping Loki back to his feet. Loki sighed and brushed the dust off  himself. “Who is that?”  
  
“You just met the Winter Soldier… He’s normally not like that.” Steve said, looking at you and Loki apologetically. “He’s still suffering the effects of Hydra’s brainwashing and whatever else they did to him.”  
  
Natasha nodded. “Something must’ve triggered him.”  
  
“Normally he’s Bucky, my oldest and closest friend. We grew up together.”  
  
You had watched the exchange quite startled, you offered a grateful smile to Loki before asking. “So that’s where you and Nat have been?”  
  
Steve nodded. “Yea, we’ve been trying to find him. After what happened in D.C., his mind’s been all sorts of messed up.” Steve walked over to Bucky who was lying unconscious on the floor. “Hey Thor,” he called, “can you give me a hand?”  
  
“Of course.” Thor said as he walked over, kneeling down to help Steve support him to the lab.  
  
The elevator door opened and Tony sauntered out. “Bruce has the lab set up.”  
Thor and Steve took Bucky to the elevator and were quickly gone from sight.  
  
“Hey (y/n).” Tony greeted you with a nod.  
  
“Hey Tony.” You replied, tired.  
  
“So based on the unconscious super soldier, the hole in my floor, and the indent in my wall, I take it you accidentally triggered our brainwashed friend?” Tony asked, smirking.  
  
“Can it Stark.” Natasha growled.  
  
“You really should’ve told Clint you got back. Bird boy has been upset as hell.” Tony grinned.  
  
You heard a banging sound, followed by an air vent falling to the floor, then Clint was on the ground running to Natasha. “Tasha! You’re back!” Clint threw his arms around her, hugging her tight.  
  
“Were you just in the vents…?” Loki looked startled.  
  
Clint just shrugged and waved at you, not moving his hand from Natasha’s shoulder. “Hey (y/n), Loki.”  
  
Natasha chuckled and patted Clint’s shoulder before stepping away. She walked over to the kitchen area and started pouring a drink.  
  
“So you and reindeer games just got back too?” Tony asked. You nodded. “How’d the virus work?” He asked excitedly.  
  
“It was great! In fact everything went well until I accidentally triggered Bucky…” you added sheepishly.  
  
“Don’t worry about it.” Natasha called as she poured a glass of vodka, straight. “You didn’t know.”  
  
“You’re not going back to your room now?” Clint asked Loki. Tony, you and Natasha all looked at him, surprised to see Loki hadn’t left the room yet.  
  
Loki hesitated then smirked. “No, I think I’ll take up Stark’s offer of that drink.”  
  
Tony’s eyes widened and he laughed. “You still remember that?”  
  
“I’ve been in prison, I haven’t had much else to remember.” Loki said chuckling.  
  
You, Clint, and Natasha watched the exchange in stunned silence.  
“Is he…?” Clint trailed off.  
“Laughing?” Natasha finished.  
“Yea…” You said slowly then looked at them. “With Tony…?” They nodded slowly in confirmation.  
  
“What’s your poison?” Tony asked Loki.  
  
Loki smirked. “Try me, I’m curious if Midgardians have any drinks that could stand against an Asgardian.”  
  
You went over and sat at the counter, watching quietly as Loki matched Tony drink for drink. Even after his fifth shot of tequila, Loki didn’t seem the least bit fazed.  
  
“Guys… I think you should take it easy.” You hesitantly interrupted them.  
Tony glared at you and Loki grinned.  
“I’m perfectly fine.” Tony said with a little effort.  
  
You were about to speak when Steve entered the room. “Bucky’s awake.”  
  
“Can I go meet him?” You asked. Steve hesitated. “Properly.”  
  
“Yea, alright.” Steve conceded. “C’mon.”  
  


* * *

  
Bucky was linked to a heart monitor and various other wires as Bruce talked to him quietly, explaining every action he took before he did it.  
  
Steve knocked on the door. “Mind if me and (y/n) come in?”  
  
Bruce looked at Bucky. Bucky nodded. “Alright.”  
  
You peeked around the corner slowly, not wanting to startle him again. “Hey Bucky.”  
  
“Hey,” he said answer slowly, and then looked pained. “You’re the one I attacked?”  
  
You smiled. “The very one.”  
  
“Sorry about that…”  
  
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve had worse, and no one got hurt. Well, Stark’s floor… and wall…” You added thoughtfully. “But how are you?”  
  
He glanced at Steve. “You really find the most interesting people…”  
  
Before Steve could speak, you interrupted him. “He found you.” You beamed at them.  
  
Bucky found himself smiling. It felt foreign, but it was nice. Steve chuckled. “No kidding…”  
  
“I think (y/n) being someone new and surprising you, along with harder to explain factors, set off the winter soldier. You should be fine in general.” Bruce said. “Although I’m thinking you’re going to experience occasional moments of confusion, ‘madness’ if you will.”  
Bucky nodded.  
  
“So all we have to do is knock him out or remind him?” You grinned.  
  
Bucky laughed again and Steve rolled his eyes. “You sound an awful lot like Stark… Howard’s son.” Steve clarified, noting Bucky’s confused look.  
  
“Howard had a kid? Damn…”  
  
“Tony Stark.” Then you playfully glared at Steve. “And Steve, I’m offended.”  
  
Bruce chuckled, “Yea, she’s nothing like Tony.”  
  
There was a light tapping at the door. The four of you looked over as it opened and Loki walked in.  
  
“Loki…” Steve said slowly.  
  
“I’m here to meet the soldier.” He glanced between Steve and Bucky. “The other soldier.” Steve still eyed him warily and Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m Loki.”  
  
“He’s the one who knocked you out.” You added.  
Loki glared at you.  
  
Bucky nodded. “Oh.” He said simply.  
  
A moment of silence passed then Loki quietly asked. “Did you scream?”  
  
You, Bruce, and Steve looked at Loki, too shocked to speak.  
  
“What?” Bucky’s eyes narrowed.  
  
“Did you scream?” Loki repeated. “I’ve talked with Fury some, I know enough.”  
  
Steve went to say something but you found yourself stopping him. You put your hand on his shoulder and he looked down at you confused.  
  
“If you’re talking about Hydra…” Bucky said slowly. Loki nodded.  
  
“Loki, now isn’t the time.” Steve said, irritated.  
  
Loki shot a glare at Steve, Steve found himself falling quiet. At first he thought it was magic, then he realized he simply wanted to know what Loki was getting at.  
  
Bucky braced himself before continuing. “Yes. Only for wiping me, that was the worst.”  
Loki nodded and glanced at you.  
  
“Hey Steve, wanna get some coffee?” You asked, getting to your feet. Steve stayed still until you grabbed his arm and pulled him after you.  
  
When you were in the hall Steve shook you off. “What is wrong with you?”  
You leaned against the wall and pressed your ear to it, starting to listen. After a moment’s hesitation, Steve copied you. Seconds later, Bruce stepped out of the room and joined you.  
  
In the room, Loki leaned against the wall next to the door. Bucky eyed him warily. “Were they creative? Or just simple things, chemicals and the like?”  
  
Bucky’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open before he closed it again. “Just simple…”  
  
“They were creating a weapon?” Loki asked.  
  
“How’d you know?”  
  
Loki closed his eyes and crossed his arms, lost in thought. “I’m not good with sympathy.” He said finally, opening his eyes.  
  
“Good, I don’t want any.”  
  
Loki smirked. “No, of course not. But the patriotic one is the person you care about more than any other.”  
  
Bucky nodded. “Yea, I do. He’s like a brother to me.”  
  
“And you tried to kill him.” Loki said quietly.  
  
Bucky clenched his fists, but then leaned back in his seat looking defeated. “Yea… I did.”  
  
Loki nodded and Bucky looked away bitterly. “It’s interesting what pain can do to someone.” Bucky turned his gaze back to Loki curiously. “And I’m not talking about guns and knives. I’m talking about real pain. Pain that lasts for days, pain that consumes you, pain that makes you think – makes you know – that there is no end. And then it’s not pain, it’s despair. You have nothing left, there is no one there for you. It destroys you.” Loki’s voice is void of emotion.  
  
Bucky can feel himself shaking. “How do you know?”  
  
“How do you think?” Loki answered bitterly.  
  
There was another short silence. Finally Bucky broke it. “So why are you telling me this?”  
  
Loki paused, thinking. “I honestly don’t know.” He said finally. “Maybe so you won’t lose your brother. Even if he’s not really your brother.” Loki sighed and uncrossed his arms. “Don’t worry about the patriotic one, he’s already forgiven you.”  
  
Bucky looked up suddenly hopeful. “Really?”  
  
“I keep trying to kill my brother, he still hasn’t given up on me.” Bucky could see a sadness in Loki’s eyes. “They won’t torture you here.”  
  
“What if I slip back into… into madness? That’s how they described it, right?”  
  
“They might hit you a few times, knock some sense into you, but it’ll be nothing. They let real monsters live here after all.”  
  
“I heard about Bruce and the hulk, but I just met him. He’s not a monster.”  
  
Loki chuckled dryly. “Pathetic humans don’t know real monsters.”  
  
Bucky frowned. “Are you the guy who blew up half of New York? They said he wasn’t human.”  
  
“The very one.”  
  
“You killed a lot of people.”  
  
“So did you.” Bucky was quiet again. Loki’s expression softened. “I’m not justifying my actions, or condemning yours. We both have reasons.”  
  
Bucky nodded. The two men were quiet, both lost in memories.  
  
Finally Bucky broke the silence. “Can I ask you something?” Loki raised his eyebrow. “You know about the nightmares…?” Loki chuckled darkly. “Of course you do.” Bucky muttered.  
  
Loki sighed, “I’m trying to repair my relationship with Thor, my brother. It would probably go a long way having me tell you that I’ll be supportive. Either way, it’s nice knowing that you’re not alone. The patriotic one won’t understand, not really, and we both know you don’t want him to. It’s better that way.”  
  
Bucky nodded and managed a small smile. “You’re interesting, you know that?”  
  
Loki smirked. “So I’ve been told.” He exhaled. “Being used changes you.”  
  
Bucky nodded again, he half smiled. “It does.” He was quiet then said. “I feel like I should thank you but I’m not sure what for.”  
  
Loki chuckled. “If our friends,” Loki made a face, “your friends, weren’t eavesdropping at the door, I think I’d manage to say more.”  
  
Bucky chuckled, “Yea…”  
  
“As it stands, care to join me in raiding Stark’s alcohol collection? I’m unfamiliar with Midgardian drinks.”  
  
Bucky grinned, “I’m sure things have changed in the last half century and I have a super soldier metabolism now, so you’re on.”  
  
Bucky stood up as Loki opened the door. He looked at the three of you huddled against the wall, amused.  
  
Bucky followed out after him and grinned down at Steve. Then the two men were in the elevator and gone.  
  
You, Bruce, and Steve exchanged looks.  
“What just happened?” Steve asked.  
“Did Loki and Bucky just become friends?” You asked.  
“Did Loki ignore and not seem the slightest bit upset that we were listening in?” Bruce asked.  
Then the three of you shared shocked expressions. “Are they going to drink Tony’s alcohol?”  
  
You ran to the elevator and frantically pressed the button. It was clearly still in use and didn’t respond. You stopped and sighed. “I’m sure Stark will be fine.”  
  
Bruce let out a weak laugh. “He won’t be fine, but it’ll get him back for all the crap he’s pulled.”


	12. Chapter 12

You, Bruce, and Steve returned to the main floor where Natasha, Tony, and Clint still were. Thor had joined them.  
  
Tony wasn’t looking well.  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
Thor laughed. “He tried to outdrink an Asgardian!” He boomed.  
Tony shot a nasty look at him.  
  
“How’s Bucky doing?” Natasha asked.  
  
You laughed. “Craziest thing happened. He and Loki are hanging out.”  
Their mouths dropped open.  
  
“Yea, it seems they share common experiences.” Steve said.  
  
Bruce laughed quietly. “And Bucky shares a certain penchant for mischief.” He smiled at Tony. “I’m using their current actions as punishment for the last time you made me hulk out Stark.”  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tony asked, glaring.  
  
“Pretty sure the god of mischief knows where your private stock is.”  
  
Tony’s mouth dropped open. “HE WHAT?! Sonuva BITCH!”  
  
Thor’s eyes flashed and he stepped towards Tony angrily, grabbing him by his shirt. “How DARE you speak of our mother that way!” He roared.  
  
Tony quelled and flinched away. “No! I uh-“  
  
“Thor, it’s an expression.” Steve put his hand on Thor’s shoulder. “It’s not meant towards anyone but the person being yelled at, in this case Loki.”  
  
Thor glared at Tony, who nodded quickly. Finally Thor set him down.  
“Oh, very well.” He chuckled.  
  
“Gonna have to get you caught up on earth slang.” Clint said.  
  
“That would probably be for the best,” Thor agreed.  
  
Once Tony calmed down, he remembered Loki and Bucky and went running to the elevator.  
  
Thor addressed you. “Welcome back (y/n)!”  
  
“Thanks big guy.” You grinned.  
  
“Yea, how was roughing it with Loki?” Bruce asked you. “It must’ve gone well because first he didn’t immediately return to his room, then he laughed and drank with Tony, and now he and Bucky are friends.”  
  
You shrugged. “The mission went well, Loki created a diversion, I infiltrated the base, he beat the shit out of everyone, and then we waited overnight for the pickup.” You left out falling asleep on Loki. The thought threatened to make you blush. As it was, Natasha eyed you suspiciously. At least you thought she did, for the look quickly disappeared.  
“I dunno about you guys, but I am beat.” You yawned. “I’m gonna get some actual sleep.”  
  
“What, the ground not soft enough for you?” Steve teased.  
  
“Hey, if I have that marshmallow bed, I’m using the hell out of it.” You stuck your tongue out at him.  
  
Clint snickered. “Well you share a floor with Nat so she’d probably appreciate it if you tried not to be too loud.”  
  
You felt your face turn red as your mouth dropped open. You opened your mouth and closed it. Natasha rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her smile. The others burst out laughing.  
  
You glared at everyone. “Assholes…” You muttered and stalked to the elevator. You continued to mutter darkly under your breath as the doors shut, starting the descent to your floor. A sudden image of Loki shirtless and smiling seductively crossed your mind. You blushed and batted the thought away. You couldn’t help but recall how nice it had been sleeping near him last night.  
‘Of course it was nice, I was cold!’ You mentally berated yourself.  
  
 _You know that’s not true_  
  
You stalked into your room and slammed the door, throwing yourself on your bed. Where had these thoughts come from? Loki was your partner, hardly even your friend.  
  
You got up and decided to take a hot shower. The warm water running down your aching shoulders felt heavenly. You closed your eyes as you leaned into the warm streams of water flowing down your body.  
Finally getting out of the shower, you dried yourself with big fluffy towels. Those had been of your own choosing and you were more than appreciative of your foresight.  
You sat down at the vanity, towel wrapped around yourself, idly brushing your hair.  
After you dried your hair, you changed into a pair of green satin pajamas (also of your own brilliant choosing)  
  
Just as you were about to crawl into your bed, there was a light tapping at your door. You hadn’t heard footsteps so you assumed it was Natasha.  
You rubbed your eyes sleepily as you opened the door. “Hey Natasha, what’s up-?” You cut off, surprised. Loki stood at the door. “Loki?” You blushed as you remembered you were only in pajamas. At least they were pants and a long sleeve shirt, as you hadn’t opted to change for actual sleep.  
  
Loki smirked at you. “Green suits you.”  
  
You looked down at your clothes then back at Loki’s green armour. Your mouth dropped open and you blushed as you returned your gaze to his vivid green eyes.  
  
“Uh right… What are you doing here?” You managed to stammer out.  
  
Loki sighed. He didn’t know. If he were honest with himself, it was to see you again. But he is the god of lies. He hesitated as he searched for words. “Err… to thank you for the opportunity to talk to Bucky.”  
  
You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly. Loki looked down at you and awkwardly patted your head. This was the first time he’d experienced physical affection since Frigga had hugged him… right after he killed Laufey.  
  
Over two years ago.  
  
Well, Thor had held him when the two brothers thought he was dying. And back when he was on earth before that, Thor had grabbed him by the throat.  
Loki felt his throat tighten at the realization. He cleared his throat. “Alright, you can stop now.” He muttered awkwardly.  
  
“Sorry…” You said quietly as you pulled away, cheeks pink. You hesitated. “Thanks for covering me after I upset Bucky…” you mumbled quietly.  
  
“Yes, well, that’s what partners do.” The two of you were partners, nothing more, he reminded himself.  
  
You nodded, reminding yourself the same thing. “Well, erm, I think I’m going to go sleep for the night, if that’s everything…” You trailed off.  
  
Loki nodded stiffly. “Right, I think I will too. I’ll see you in the morning I guess. Good night, agent.”  
  
You nodded. “Good night Loki.”  
  
He turned and walked down the hall.  
  
You slowly shut the door and crawled into bed. ‘How am I going to sleep now?’ you groaned inwardly. Luckily, sleep found you soon after.  
  
  
  
Loki returned to his room, exhausted, but still dreading the return of his nightmares. Unfortunately, he was too tired to care. He lay down and waited for sleep to overtake him, knowing what was waiting.  
That night as he felt the familiar pain with Thanos’ cruel laughter and his own screams threatening to break free, Loki felt something odd. Even though the pain and tortures were as vivid as ever, he felt the comfort and warmth of you hugging him. Something about you made the pain more bearable. Through his ripped and bloodied lips, Loki felt a small smile play on his face.  
  
Loki sat upright, breathing hard. He examined himself, as he did after every dream, for signs of blood or injuries and still there was none. Looking at the clock he realized he had slept through the whole night.  
  
The memory of your arms around him flashed through his mind. Loki smiled as he got out of bed and showered.  
  
He dressed in his usual armour and made his way upstairs for breakfast.  
  
“JARVIS?” He asked hesitantly as he rode upwards.  
  
“Yes sir?”  
  
“What do humans do for…” He paused before forcing himself to continue. “Fun… when they’re…” He hesitated. “Happy?”  
  
“Perhaps go for a walk in the park, sir. The weather is quite nice today.”  
  
Loki nodded thoughtfully then glared. “If you repeat this conversation to anyone,” he growled, “I will find a way to give you hell. I’m sure I can manage something.”  
  
“Very well sir.” Loki nodded quietly. Then JARVIS continued. “Although, if Mr Stark directly asks me, I will tell him. I highly doubt that he will.”  
  
Loki folded his arms and nodded. “Fair enough.” The door to the main room opened and he stepped out.  
  
Going into the kitchen, he set out the task of finding something to eat. After a few minutes he opted to stay there and eat.  
  
Bucky showed up shortly. “Hey Loki.”  
  
Loki inclined his head, acknowledging Bucky’s presence. “You look like Hel.” Loki said, raising his eyebrows.  
  
Bucky scowled. “Couldn’t sleep.”  
  
Loki hesitated. “There might be a spell for dreamless sleep.”  
  
“Why not use it on yourself?” Buck asked, confused.  
  
“It requires channeling, I have to be awake to end the spell.”  
  
“As long as it doesn’t involve kissing, I think I might be willing to try it.”  
  
“Why the Hel would I kiss you?” Loki looked at him disgusted.  
  
“It’s a fairy tale… never mind.” Bucky muttered before starting a hunt for his own breakfast.  
  
Loki eyed him curiously. “Fairy tail? Faeries don’t have tails, they are vicious creatures, taking pleasure in the suffering they cause.”  
  
Bucky looked at him confused. “Uh, children’s story…”  
  
“Oh, right.” Loki muttered sheepishly and returned to eating in silence.  
  
Bucky shook his head and smirked. “And I thought I was out of the loop.” Loki scowled but remained silent. Bucky sat opposite Loki as he ate. “So what do you normally do here?”  
  
Loki shrugged. “I read mostly. The others watch things in the glow box.”  
  
“Glow box?” Loki pointed at the TV. “Oh right, it’s called a TV. They’ve gotten more advanced over the years, they used to only have images in black and white.”  
  
Loki furrowed his brows. “Why would you limit yourself to those colors?”  
  
Bucky shrugged uncertain. “Technology wasn’t good enough I guess.”  
  
Loki nodded thoughtfully. “Holograms are far more efficient.”  
  
Bucky laughed, “Yea, those are kinda new to us.”  
  
Loki smirked. “And of course magic.” He waved his hand and a small image appeared. People dancing and talking silently floated above his palm and long slender fingers.  
Bucky’s mouth dropped open.  
  
“Wow…” the image abruptly vanished as Loki and Bucky turned at the sound of your voice. “That was beautiful.” You said softly. You looked at Loki and your eyes met. “Good morning guys, what’s on the schedule for today?”  
  
Loki silently glanced at Bucky, who answered. “Uh, not sure. What do you normally do?”  
  
You tapped your chin thoughtfully. You were about to speak when Tony came into the room. As soon as he saw Loki and Bucky, his face darkened and he scowled. Loki grinned mischievously. “Drinking all my expensive… best…” Tony muttered darkly so you could only catch a few words here and there.  
You giggled. You swore you saw Loki wink at you but it was gone.  
  
Natasha came in the room with Clint trailing after her happily.  
Tony perked up. “I see lovebird missed you.” He grinned, trying to goad Clint. Clint ignored him, too happy to have Natasha back. Natasha rolled her eyes but offered a small smile at Clint before finding her own breakfast.  
  
Steve and Thor showed up shortly after.  
  
“Wow, all we’re missing is Bruce.” Steve commented, looking around.  
  
“He’s waiting in the lab, I just came here to grab us some food.” Tony said, walking back to the elevator. “And if rock of ages or terminator drink any more of my personal stash, I’m gonna kill you in your sleep.”  
  
Loki and Bucky grinned at each other. Thor’s booming laughter filled the room.  
  
“I feel like we should do something together today, now that we’re all back at the tower.” Steve said suddenly.  
  
You looked around, everyone seemed to be nodding and muttering various “why not”’s  
  
“So what do you guys want to do?” You asked.  
  
There was silence.  
  
“We could go to a spa?” Natasha offered.  
Clint groaned. Steve and Bucky shook their heads. Loki and Thor exchanged mirrored looks of uncertainty.  
“Or not…” Natasha finished quietly.  
  
“It’d probably be best to stay relatively low profile,” Steve said, “somewhere either really empty or so busy that we’d be unnoticed.”  
  
“We have two Norse gods and a guy with a metal arm… no offense Bucky.” Clint added, Bucky was expressionless and remained quiet.  
  
“So a day at the beach is probably out of the question.” You said, disappointed.  
  
“Thor, Loki, do you guys have any fun Asgardian hobbies?”  
  
Loki sat thinking quietly. Fun had become such a foreign term. Sure mischief was enjoyable, but that was a thing that usually didn’t go well with groups.  
  
“We drink and feast, and spar, we do battle.” Thor said, trying to think of what he did for fun.  
  
“What if we went clubbing?” Bucky, Thor, and Loki looked at you confused. Steve was a bit slow but remembered Natasha trying to help with modern activities.  
Natasha bit her lip uncertainly, and then looked at Clint. Clint rested his chin on his fist as he thought. “Well Tony probably has access to some nightclubs.” He said slowly.  
“We’d have to get clothes for the guys.” Natasha added.  
  
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think we should ask Tony.” Steve said finally. “If you get a big enough club, by sheer numbers alone, it’d be hard to recognize anyone.”  
  
“Hey JARVIS, can you get Bruce and Tony up here?” Clint called to the AI.  
  
A few minutes later, Bruce and Tony were in the room.  
  
“What do you guys say to an Avengers night of partying slash clubbing?” You asked excitedly.  
  
Bruce’s mouth dropped open. “Loud noises kinda give me a headache.” He said.  
  
Tony raised an eyebrow. “You want to go clubbing with a sociopath demigod and an assassin with a metal arm?”  
  
Bucky and Loki glared daggers at him.  
  
“Shit Tony, they’re in the room. And they’re not like that anymore. How else are they supposed to move on if you don’t give them a chance?” You asked angrily.  
Loki looked at you surprised that you were defending him. He was used to being an outsider and disliked, but it still wasn’t the best feeling.  
You glanced at him, flashing a quick smile. You were certain his cold exterior was just another layer of armour.  
“And enough with the metal arm, Tony.” You continued, growling angrily. “Do you want me to start referring to you as the guy with the glow chest?” The room quieted as everyone look at you surprised. You looked genuinely angry. “None of us are without flaws or crimes and we’ve been given second chances. It’s time you did the same.”  
  
Tony was too stunned to say anything.  
  
Finally Bruce broke the silence. “(Y/n) does have a point…”  
  
Bucky looked at you like he was seeing you in a different light. Loki half smiled, but you could see his appreciation.  
  
Tony sighed, and then grudgingly said, “Alright, I guess that’s true.”  
  
“We will have to cover Bucky’s arm regardless.” Bruce said. “It’s not his fault, but we still would want to maintain a low profile.”  
  
The others nodded and Steve spoke. “Fair enough, you ok with that Bucky?”  
  
“What is clubbing?” Thor finally asked.  
  
“You go out drinking and dancing with people, or with each other.” Clint explained.  
  
“Could I invite Lady Jane?”  
  
“As long as she can have clothing for it by this evening, I don’t see why not.” Natasha replied.  
  
Thor grinned and pulled out a phone he was given. “Can someone contact her with this communication device? I touched her picture but nothing happened.”  
  
“Sure thing big guy.” Clint led Thor from the group to make the call.  
  
“Well I guess we’re going shopping.” Natasha smiled. “Loki, Bucky, and Thor will need regular clothes. I managed to get Steve some a while ago.”  
  
Loki furrowed his brows and looked down at his armour. “Is this not adequate?”  
  
You shook your head and smiled. “Not if we’re trying to keep a low profile.” Loki scowled. “So when Jane gets here, she’ll join me, Natasha, Loki, Steve, Thor, and Bucky for shopping.” You looked around, pointing at everyone in turn. “Natasha is on point for style, Steve is Bucky’s best friend, and Loki and I are partners so I can cover his sorry ass.”  
  
Loki glared at you. Secretly he was grateful to have you along, even pleased to spend time with you. Of course as partners, he reminded himself. Undercover armour after all.  
  
“How about you Bruce?” Natasha asked.  
  
Bruce shook his head as he answered. “I’m sure Tony and I can scrounge something up. Why not take Clint?”  
  
“I have clothes though!” Clint protested. No one noticed his return since you could still hear Thor talking nearby.  
  
“Oh come on. It’ll be fun.” Natasha batted her eyelashes.  
  
Clint glared at her then his shoulders slumped in resignation. “Fine…” He muttered. “You owe me seriously.”  
  
You and Natasha high fived. “Alright!”  
  
Thor returned. “Lady Jane will be here in a half hour.” He beamed. “I look forward to seeing her again.”  
  
“Oh, Steve, do you have any extra jeans for Loki to wear?” Steve chuckled at your question.  
  
“I’m sure I can manage something.”  
  
Loki’s face darkened but he remained quiet, knowing his protests would get him nowhere.  
True to her word, Jane arrived a half hour later and soon everyone crowded into Tony’s limo where you were quickly chauffeured to the mall.


	13. Chapter 13

When you got out of the car at the mall, you couldn’t help but admire Loki in regular earth clothes.  
You had to admit that regardless of what Loki wore, he looked good; and that was even in Steve’s less than ideal fitting clothes.  
  
Loki was muttering darkly the entire car ride. “I still don’t see why my armour isn’t sufficient.”  
  
You rolled your eyes. “Low profile, remember.”  
  
Loki growled. “I should’ve stayed at the tower and continued my book.”  
  
Bucky chuckled. “If I’m getting dragged along, you’re coming with.”  
  
Loki glared at him. “Just because…” He trailed off.  
Mortals, humans no less, were beneath him, but he recognized a similar pain in Bucky’s eyes that he knew might never go away. Loki hated knowing that, but realizing there was empathy that the two shared, he was willing to attempt a sort of quasi friendship.  
  
Loki knew he didn’t have friends; everyone was just using him or waiting for a way to find out how to use him. But the soldier was pleasant enough, Loki found himself willing to be kind until he could find a reason behind Bucky’s mutual kindness.  
Then of course Loki would find a way to use him, just as everyone else used Loki.  
  
‘Bucky knows what it’s like to be used.’ A quiet voice whispered in his mind. Loki batted the thought away.  
  
He conceded that you were also pleasant enough. You were his partner, maybe he could make a debt of this and find a way to use it to his advantage later: he would use you before you could use him.  
  
Ever since you had showed up, his dreams had changed; something about them seemed less intense. He ignored that thought as well.  
  
Loki sighed as he ran his hand through his long black hair. “Fine.”  
You beamed up at him, although your smile wavered as he glared at you.  
  
“We deserve to have a celebration.” Jane spoke up suddenly. “I haven’t seen Thor in months. Bucky just joined the Avengers, and (y/n) and Loki…” she trailed off, not sure what to say.  
  
“Just got back from our first successful mission.” You finished and smiled at her.  
  
Loki scowled at her but remained silent.  
  
You didn’t blame him for disliking her some. You knew the nature of their relationship. Loki met her, saved her life, and got himself more or less killed in the process. Thor and Loki refused to talk about Loki’s ultimate survival. All that was said was Loki died, but managed to not actually die – he at least didn’t stay dead – and then the Allfather sent the two brothers back to earth. Thor was here because he wanted to be with Jane and the rest of the Avengers. Loki seemed to be here for glorified community service, hopes that he might learn appreciation for humans, and a few less specific things that the two brothers were adamant in not discussing.  
  
Fury accepted it though.  
You couldn’t help but wonder if Odin had somehow been involved with that.  
  
Either way it didn’t really concern you, you were Loki’s partner and nothing more. Ok, maybe, with any lucky, friends but baby steps. Loki needed friends and you wanted to be there for him. That’s what partners do after all.  
  
Your smile returned.  
  
Loki scowled. There was that damned desire to smile back. He hated it.  
  
And thus you had arrived at the mall and were currently wandering towards stores.  
  
“We could get some, uh,” Natasha paused, “’Midgardian sweets?’” She shrugged. “Earth food that Thor and Loki probably haven’t had and it’s modern enough that Bucky probably hasn’t had it either.”  
  
Steve grinned. “That sounds great!” He looked at Bucky.  
Bucky smiled and gave a small nod of confirmation.  
You were glad for Steve, he looked so happy to have his oldest friend back.  
  
  
And so, with much convincing, pleading, and sometimes outright begging, you managed to get Loki a few regular human outfits. Bucky was easier to be convinced than Loki, but finding clothing that worked around his arm was slightly challenging.  
Thor was huge, but he didn’t need convincing since he was more than happy to comply with whatever Jane wanted.  
  
After a few hours, you and the other Avengers stopped at the food court, got some of your favorite fast food snacks and were back to the tower.  
  
  
When you got back, everyone split up to their respective rooms to get ready for the evening. You were wearing a simple black dress that was slim and hugged your figure quite nicely. Your makeup accented the color of your eyes perfectly, and your hair was in a cute up-do, but nothing extravagant. You also wore black strappy heels.  
  
You came out of your room at the same time as Natasha. Jane was given a temporary room on your floor and currently sat waiting on the couch in the main area. Darcy had managed to get her party clothes. They were comfortable enough for Jane to be happy in, but also fancy enough that she would fit in at the club.  
  
Natasha had a slim red dress and black kitten heels. She grinned at the two of you.  
“You two ready?” Natasha asked.  
  
You grinned and put your arms around their shoulders, pushing Jane and Natasha to the elevator. “Let’s go see how the guys look when they finally clean up.”  
  
Everyone had agreed to meet in the lobby, you Natasha and Jane were the last to arrive.  
  
When the elevator door opened, it took all your years of training to hide your expression. Otherwise your jaw probably would’ve hit the floor.  
As it was, the guys looked good.  
  
“Damn…” Natasha whispered out of the corner of her mouth.  
  
“You guys clean up nice.” You managed to call after you regained your composure.  
  
Steve and Bruce awkwardly shuffled in place. Tony laughed. Thor had eyes only for Jane. He ran towards her and picked her up, spinning her in the air as he did so. “Lady Jane! You look beautiful!” Jane blushed crimson as Thor set her down, placing a soft kiss on her hand.  
  
You saw Pepper standing among the guys next to Tony. “Oh hey Pepper!” You greeted her with a smile.  
  
“Looks like I’ll be joining you tonight.” Pepper said with a wave.  
  
“Excellent, someone has to keep Tony in line.” You said with a grin as Pepper laughed.  
  
Natasha hugged Pepper and laughed also. “It’s been awhile.”  
  
“Natasha!” Natasha looked over as Steve exclaimed. “You look gorgeous!” He hugged her.  
  
“Definitely.” Clint agreed with a smile.  
  
You had walked over to Loki. When you caught sight of him, you felt your stomach flip. Loki looked stunning in his black suit vest with a forest green shirt underneath. You could feel your face flush. After a second you spoke to him. “Hey Loki, you look nice.”  
  
Loki looked down at you amused. “Thank you, agent.” He was silent and you self-consciously patted your hair.  
  
“Hey (y/n),” You and Loki turned at the sound of Bucky’s voice as he walked over. “You look nice.”  
  
You smiled, “Thanks Bucky, so do you. I’m really glad you’re able to come with us.”  
  
He nodded, “Yea, me too.”  
  
“Ok, enough ogling. Let’s go.” Tony ordered, ushering people out the door to the waiting car.  
  
In the car, you found yourself squeezed in against Loki. He had his arms crossed but he was staring idly out the window. He at least didn’t look that annoyed.  
  
“Alright guys.” Everyone turned at the sound of Tony’s voice. “I don’t care how hot they are, no one is bringing any strange people back to the tower tonight. Got it? We’re partying as a team.”  
  
Steve looked mortified. Clint snickered at his expression. You and Natasha covered your faces as you rolled your eyes.  
  
“Tony!” Pepper yelled as she glared at him.  
  
Tony shrugged. “Just thought I’d throw that out there.”  
  
“Have some class Stark.” Steve grumbled. Bucky was howling with laughing at the discomfort on Steve’s face.  
  
Tony ignored him and continued. “The limo is leaving at three. Any earlier or later and you’re calling a cab or walking. Got it?” There were various sounds acknowledging his words. Once Tony was pleased with the response, the car stopped and the doors opened, allowing everyone to crawl out.  
  
As soon as the doors to the nightclub opened, the comparatively quiet night air was drowned out by the deafening noises of the club.  
  
“In we go!” Tony yelled, leading Pepper on his arm.  
  
Within seconds, the mass of people dancing had the Avengers completely dispersed and separated. You found yourself alone among all your fellow party goers.  
  
‘SHIELD training does not cover fitting in at a nightclub.’ You thought as you looked around.  
  
You could make out Natasha dancing with Clint in the middle of the club.  
Tons of women were fawning over Steve.  
Thor and Jane were nowhere to be seen, you figured Jane would want to leave as soon as she could politely.  
Cheers came from the sound of the bar as you saw Tony start up a round of shots. Pepper stood nearby with a very uncomfortable looking Bruce.  
  
Finally you ignored everyone and lost yourself in the music.  
  


* * *

  
Loki leaned against a wall in a darkened corner of the nightclub. He scowled. A large number of women kept casting hopeful glances his way but he ignored them.  
  
Bucky broke free from the throng of people and approached Loki. Immediately Loki sensed something was off.  
  
“Bucky?” Loki asked slowly.  
  
Bucky’s face was blank.  
  


* * *

  
You were across the club when you had a vivid image of Bucky looking at you flash through your mind. You stumbled to a stop, nauseous at the sudden sense of an alien presence invading your mind.  
You put your hands to your head, trying to shake the feeling.  
  
Another vision appeared of you hunched over, hands on your head… the same position you currently were in.  
  
“Loki…” you murmured quietly, looking for the direction he would’ve seen you from.  
  
In the shadows of a corner of the club, you saw strange movements. Something about them stood out from the rest of the mass of writhing bodies dancing.  
  
You started forcing your way through the crowd to where the commotion seemed to be coming from.  
  
You heard yelling and then realized they were calls of distress.  
  
Loki was struggling to hold a thrashing Bucky down.  
  
“You’re Bucky dammit!” Loki was trying to yell over the roar of the crowd.  
  
“Who the hell is Bucky?!” Bucky snarled as he tried to knock Loki off.  
  
You ran over to them, shoving people out of your way. Steve was nowhere to be seen.  
  
Loki looked up as soon as you got there. “Agent!” He called.  
  
The temporary distraction afforded Bucky the opportunity he needed. He rolled over and kicked Loki into the wall.  
  
Loki grunted as he collided and slid down, before returning to his feet.  
  
You jumped at Bucky, aiming for weak spots and pressure points. Certain blows could incapacitate a target, but someone as strong as Bucky would at most slow him down. That was your goal, hoping you’d help Loki regain the upper hand. You were merely human, skilled definitely, but there was no real comparison to a super soldier.  
  
Natasha had taught you her signature move, jumping into the air and using your thighs to knock an opponent to the ground.  
  
Bucky stumbled as your thighs wrapped around him, but he quickly regained himself and threw you to the ground. You could feel your dress ripping up your thigh but you were too distracted to care.  
  
Bucky’s attention turned from Loki to you. You stood back up as Bucky spun, his fist colliding with your face. You could feel rivers of blood running from your nose but you ignored it. You managed to block his next attack with your arms but the blow still sent you reeling.  
  
Bucky raised his fist to strike once more when a green glow came from behind. He seemed to freeze before slumping to the ground.  
  
Loki stood over him, panting. You slowly lowered your guard stance before looking around and seeing the small audience.  
  
Another glow came from Loki and you found yourself in a back alley beside Loki and the passed out Bucky.  
  
You knelt down and checked Bucky’s pulse, it was fine, perhaps a little elevated.  
  
Loki straightened up, evening his breathing out. “A sleeping spell, he’ll wake up shortly.”  
  
You sat back down on your heels and nodded tiredly. Wiping the blood off your face with the back of your hand, you took out your phone and sent the others a group text.  
  
 _”Me Loki and Bucky back at tower. All good”_  
  
Loki looked down at the message and chuckled. Then concern crossed his face. “Are you ok (y/n)?” He knelt down beside you and looked at the drying blood.  
  
You nodded. “’m alright.” You said thickly.  
  
Loki took your face in his hands and examined your nose closely. You were positive he could feel your face burning. His hands were surprisingly cool.  
  
He rubbed the pads of his thumbs across your face, murmuring indistinguishable words under his breath, you hissed in pain at the contact. Then suddenly the pain was gone. Loki pulled away and smiled at you; you gingerly touched your nose and found it didn’t hurt at all.  
  
You smiled back. “Thanks Loki.” You said softly.  
  
Loki nodded and helped you to your feet. You noticed a pink hue on his cheeks. He cleared his throat and summoned his green blanket. “You might want this.”  
  
You looked down at your dress, horrified by how bad the tear was.  
  
You quickly wrapped the blanket around yourself and looked away. Never before in your life had you been so glad to have worn undergarments.  
  
Bucky started to stir beside you. He groaned.  
  
You looked down at him, holding the blanket tighter around you. “Hey Bucky, how’re you doing?”  
  
He slowly sat up, gingerly touching his head. “Hey (y/n)… Loki…” He nodded at each of you.  
  
“Too many people, I think.” Loki said quietly.  
  
Bucky nodded silently. He stood up slowly and looked at you concerned. “Is that blood?”  
  
You chuckled. “Yea, Loki fixed it though. It’s all good.”  
  
Bucky sighed, rubbing his hands on his hair. “I’m so sorry.”  
  
You shrugged. “It happens to the best of us.”  
  
Loki looked around quietly. Bucky was silent again.  
  
“So where are we?” You asked.  
  
“A few blocks from the club.” Loki answered you.  
  
“We should head back to the tower, maybe watch movies or something there.” You said.  
  
Loki glanced at Bucky then back at you. “Should we tell the patriotic one what happened?”  
  
You pondered for a moment. “We could just say I got a headache, which is true.” You grinned. Bucky smiled ruefully. “And if Steve asks we can tell him the truth.”  
  
Loki grinned. “A half lie. Very nice agent. I’m impressed.”  
  
As you walked back to the tower, you asked Loki, “So how come you don’t just teleport us back to the tower?”  
  
“It takes a great deal of energy.” Loki replied.  
  
“But you got us out of the club.”  
  
“It was a relatively short distance. And the more people I transport, the greater the energy.” You nodded thoughtfully at Loki’s words. “It could potentially kill me.” He added quietly.  
  
“Then I’m glad you don’t.” You smiled up at him, touching his shoulder.  
  
Loki glanced down at you but remained quiet.  
  
You entered the tower and suddenly felt yourself being pulled into a hug by Bucky. “Thank you.” He said quietly. “I’m really sorry.”  
  
You hugged him back. “It’s all good.”  
  
Loki looked at the two of you and felt a familiar twinge of jealousy.  He clenched his jaw and walked away, waiting for the elevator to open.  
  
When the elevator stopped at your floor, you turned back and said, “I’ll meet you guys at the main floor.”  
  
Loki nodded stiffly and Bucky waved.  
  
The elevator arrived at Loki’s floor and he stalked out quietly.  
  
Back in your room, you showered and changed into a pair of your favorite colored pajamas. You dried your hair and were about to leave when you noticed Loki’s blanket still on your bed. You grinned and picked it up, carrying it to the elevator and to Loki’s floor.  
  
You tapped on his door and seconds later, Loki answered. He wore black fleece pants and a green shirt. His hair was still wet from his shower.  
  
He looked down at you coolly. “Yes agent?”  
  
You held up the blanket. “Thanks so much for this.”  
  
He nodded and with a wave it vanished.  
  
You stepped forward and threw your arms around him, pressing your face against his currently warm chest. Loki looked down at you startled.  
  
“Thanks.” Your voice was muffled against his chest. His scent flooded your very essence and you tried to ignore it. “You’re a good friend.”  
  
Loki scowled. “We’re just partners.” He grumbled.  
  
“And you’re just a grumpy god.” He could hear the smile in your voice, muffled against his chest.  
  
“And I can easily snap your neck from here.” He muttered, not unhappily.  
  
You stepped away and beamed up at him. “C’mon, let’s go watch movies. I heard you haven’t seen Sleeping Beauty.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes but once your back was turned, he couldn’t hide the smile playing at the corner of his mouth. You really were something else.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to acknowledge Sam/Falcon's existence but I don't think I could actually write him in character so I'm doubting he'll really come back - sorry if you like him

Bucky was waiting in the Avengers lounge area, already seated on the couch. Loki sat down on the other side.  
  
“Hey JARVIS, can you set up Sleeping Beauty and get us some popcorn?” You called to the computer.  
  
“Of course.” Tony’s wall screen lowered and trailers to other movies started to play. The scent of popcorn quickly filled the air. You walked back to the couch carrying a massive bowl of popcorn.  
  
“Wow, that’s quite the memory,” Bucky said as he ate a handful, “going to Coney Island with a scrawny little Steve.” He closed his eyes, lost in nostalgia.  
  
“So Disney made Sleeping Beauty into a movie, this didn’t happen until after the 40s, not sure the exact decade, but you know the fairy tale.”  
  
Bucky nodded at your words, then said, “Only Disney princess I know is Snow White.”  
  
You turned to Loki. “And you don’t know the story at all?” He nodded. You beamed at him. “Great! It’ll be a complete surprise to you then!”  
Loki rolled his eyes but remained quiet. You held the bowl of popcorn out to him. At first he didn’t move to take any so you idly reached for another handful. Your hand brushed against his slender hand and once again you were struck by how cold his skin was. You mumbled an apology as you looked away, embarrassed.  
  
Maleficent appeared on screen with her curse.  
  
Loki nodded. You looked at him confused. “That’s one of the greatest insults they could’ve managed.” He explained. “Not inviting one of the most powerful and influential people to a royal christening. Anyone would be furious. It goes without saying and makes sense she’s upset.”  
You nodded, that was something you never thought of.  
“These are supposed to be faeries?” Loki asked.  
  
“Fairies are friendly in Disney stories.”  
  
“Oh.” Loki said and fell silent as he continued to watch the movie.  
  
Loki chuckled when he heard how the spell would be broken by a kiss.  
Bucky nodded, “See?”  
  
You looked between the two of them confused but opted not to ask.  
  
As the climactic fight with the dragon approached, you felt your eyelids grow heavier. The bowl of popcorn, now empty, fell to the floor as you sank into a deep sleep. Loki looked down at you, surprised as you leaned against him. He was tempted to push you away but your warmth was nice and some part of him didn’t feel like waking you. You looked peaceful.  
  
The credits started to roll and Loki felt his own head drooping. Bucky was already fast asleep. Loki could register Bucky shaking in distress, his quiet whimpers breaking the silence occasionally. Then Loki too was asleep.  
  
He sank down onto the arm of the couch and you slid down, resting your head just above his hip.  
Bucky absently shifted in his sleep, falling over and nearly squishing you. Your body was too tired to care and you slept on.  
  
  
Around 3:30, the rest of the Avengers returned. None of them went to the lounge and instead opted to go straight to their rooms to sleep.  
Crawling into bed, Steve briefly wondered how Bucky was. But then he remembered Bucky was with you, he was definitely in good hands. With that reassuring thought, Steve too fell into a deep sleep.  
  
  
You, Loki, and Bucky all woke at the same time. You looked around confused until the events of last night returned to your memory.  
  
Bucky was lying on your legs and quickly sat up. “Sorry.” He mumbled. He brushed his hands through his hair then pressed his palms into his face, his dreams still fresh.  
You realized, yet again, that you’d fallen asleep on Loki. This time there wasn’t room for him to pull away. You quickly sat up and moved away, muttering apologies and hiding your blush.  
  
“Oh shit… we’re gonna have to hurry before-“ You were cut off as the elevator opened and Jane and Steve stepped out.  
  
They looked at the three of you in confusion. You, Bucky, and Loki were all in pajamas and various positions on the couch.  
  
Jane raised her eyebrow.  
  
“Did you guys sleep here?” Steve asked, looking between the three of you.  
  
You chuckled, “Yea, we came back and watched movies. Must’ve fallen asleep on the couch.”  
  
Loki stood up stretching and nodded. “Midgardian ‘clubs’ are not to my liking.” He said disdainfully before glancing down at you.  
  
You nodded and glanced at Bucky who looked between the two of you gratefully.  
  
“I got a headache and Bucky got bored, so we all opted to come back to the tower together.” You smiled, pleased with this story.  
Bucky nodded in silent confirmation.  
  
Jane walked off to find breakfast. After a moment, Steve shrugged and followed after her.  
  
You, Loki, and Bucky got on the elevator and rode down to your respective floors. Just as Bucky got out, he turned. “Thanks for not saying anything to Steve. I don’t want him to worry about me.” He mumbled.  
  
You grinned. “No problem.”  
  
Then Loki exited silently to his room.  
  
Finally the elevator got to your floor and you left to your room to get changed.  
  
-  
  
Loki showered and changed back into his armour. He lay down on his bed, fingers laced behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.  
  
He didn’t mind lying to Steve. He even enjoyed it. It was the reason that caused him to think. Loki wasn’t lying for personal gain; he was being nice and helping Bucky.  
  
An image crossed his mind, you smiling at him, grateful that he was being selfless.  
  
For some reason, he liked making you happy, it made him happy. And then you hugging him… physical affection was so foreign. Genuine affection, caring about him, he so rarely had it. At best it had always been Frigga. He gritted his teeth, clenching his eyes shut.  
And he had helped Kursed. He had said she wasn’t his mother and then she died. She died thinking he hated her. He felt tears burn at the corners of his eyes.  
  
Damn he wished you were there.  
  
Granted, you were a pathetic mortal and he hated you, you were inferior in every way… but he did enjoy your presence.  
And even when you had just met him, having threatened your life in the same day, you still made the effort to be kind.  
He had carried you to bed one night, holding you in his arms just felt right.  
  
There it was, that same constant conflict. Wanting to be close to people, yet desperately trying to force them away. They were just going to use him somehow. Odin had used him, Thanos had used him, even Thor had used him to save his wench.  
  
 _’(Y/n) hasn’t used me.’_  He scowled.  
  
“That doesn’t count.” He muttered out loud.   
  
‘(Y/n) hasn’t used me  _yet_ ’ He amended to himself.  
  
But then, had Frigga ever used him? Frigga had gone his whole life not using him… as far as he knew anyways. He shook his head, no, Frigga had not used him. Odin had forced her to lie. Frigga had never told scary stories about the hateful frost giants. Frigga had not stolen a baby. Frigga had taken him in and raised him as her own child, even teaching him all the magic she knew.  
  
Frigga had not used him.  
  
Did that mean you might not use him?  
But what about the others…  
A knocking came from his door and he sat up slowly.  
  
“What?” He yelled, a little harsher than he intended.  
  
“Sheesh, grumpy old god.” Your familiar voice came through the door. “Can I come in? Or are you going to spend the day sulking?”  
  
Loki scowled before crossing the room and opening the door. He glared down at you.  
You held up your hand. “Muffin?” You grinned, already in the process of eating one from your other hand.  
  
He took it from you hesitantly then scowled. “What do you want?”  
  
You paused thoughtfully. Why were you there? You suddenly felt embarrassed. You had enjoyed spending the evening with him and wanted to do that more often. “Err… I… uh…” Loki raised an eyebrow at you. “Jane is leaving.” You managed to blurt out.  
  
“So?” You couldn’t tell if his voice was cold or just indifferent.  
  
“Didn’t know if you wanted to say bye…” you mumbled.  
  
“No.” He went to shut the door, and then sighed, remembering that you hated that. Wait, why did he care if it bothered you, he thought angrily.  
  
You saw his hesitation. He wanted to shut the door on you but he hadn’t. You smiled. “Thanks Loki.”  
He growled and shut the door anyways.  
“Ok! Well I’ll be in the lounge if you need anything!” You called. Then with a smirk you added, “And I know you like me.”  
  
The door flew open. “What?” He spat angrily.  
  
“You didn’t shut the door on me.” You said smugly. “You like me.”  
  
He glared at you coldly. “We are  _partners_. I am being  _polite_. I do  _not_  like you.”  
The door slammed shut.  
  
You grinned smugly as you walked away. “Sure thing grumpy old god, you’re not nearly as heartless as you claim to be.” Then you added in a sing song voice. “You like me.”  
Loki’s door remained shut.

* * *

  
After you left, Loki sat down angrily. He did  _not_  like you. You were annoying and human and weak. He was a god. You were nothing more than a person he had to work with. And he only did that grudgingly. Although you were sweet, and friendly and pleasant. You had been kind to him since you met him.  
You were also pretty, and funny, and made him smile, he liked holding you-  
Loki cut those thoughts off angrily.  
“Damn her…” He muttered out loud.  
  


* * *

  
  
Natasha was sitting in the lounge, filing her nails and watching TV. She smiled when she saw you. “Hey (y/n)!”  
  
“Hey Tasha.” You greeted her, throwing yourself down on the couch.  
  
Natasha looked around, only the two of you were there. “What happened last night?”  
  
You hesitated. “I had a headache, Loki didn’t like the Midgardian club thing, and…” Natasha’s suspicious glare caused you to trail off.  
  
“I’m a master spy (y/n). You’re going to have to try harder if you want to lie to me.”  
  
“Well it’s all true.” You insisted.  
  
She studied you closer. “Yea…” Then she reached behind her and lifted up your tattered dress. “You left this on your bed.”  
  
“Damn…” You muttered quietly.  
  
“Now unless you have a new guy friend you’re hiding, which isn’t likely, seeing as you, Loki, and Bucky were all upstairs this morning, after having clearly fallen asleep on the couch…”  
  
“How’d you know about that?”  
  
“Steve couldn’t keep a secret from me if he tried. He can barely lie to anyone. That guy is as sweet and innocent as they come.”  
  
You made a face. “You can’t tell Steve, or Bucky, that I told you.”  
She nodded suspiciously.  
“I think all the flashing lights and so many people at the nightclub triggered Bucky. We didn’t want to upset Steve or make a big deal out of it.”  
  
Natasha’s face softened. “Oh. Well on behalf of Steve, thanks. But if it happens again, you have to tell me.”  
  
You looked at her ruefully. She stared back sternly. “You’ll have to ask Bucky. It’s his to tell or not to tell.” You said.  
  
She sighed. “Yea, I guess so. Steve is so happy to have Bucky back. It kills me to think about what he looked like when he realized Bucky was alive but didn’t recognize him.”  
You nodded, you could hardly imagine.  
She looked at you again. “How are things between you and Loki?”  
  
“I think he likes me.” Natasha gave you that same suspicious look but you didn’t notice. “He didn’t shut his door in my face.” You grinned smugly.  
  
She raised her eyebrow. “I guess that’s something. Really have to lower your standards around him.”  
  
You laughed. “Yea, just a bit. And he likes Bucky because he lied on Bucky’s behalf with no personal gain.”  
  
Natasha nodded thoughtfully. “That is true. And he’s been almost friendly to everyone else. Well interacting willingly. Did you drug him or something?” She grinned.  
  
You stuck your tongue out at her as you stood up, “Drink?” You called, walking to the kitchen.  
  


* * *

  
The next few days, then weeks passed like this. It was nice to have some downtime.  
  
Steve and Bucky were nearly inseparable, trying to catch Bucky up on everything he missed over the last half century. Loki had used his spell to help Bucky sleep and the Winter Soldier hadn’t resurfaced since the night of the club.  
  
Much to Tony’s dismay, Pepper had him traveling with her as much as possible for press junkets.  
  
Bruce spent most of his time in the lab, tinkering away on who knows what.  
  
Thor was spending more and more time away from the tower, he never said what he was doing though. You had tried asking Loki, but Loki didn’t know either.  
  
Natasha was still exhausted from her several month excursion to find Bucky. You’d accidentally walked in on her changing one day and saw she had a whole new series of scars. Whatever she and Steve faced must have been hell.  
  
Fury even stopped by a few times.  
  
After running into Clint one too many times crawling through the vents, popular opinion had him sent out on a few solo missions.  
  
Even Steve’s friend Sam showed up once. He was hilarious and you took an instant liking to him, unfortunately he was involved with some top secret missions and wouldn’t be showing up any time soon.  
  
Loki returned to reading, but you found him reading outside of the library more and more. You even managed to convince him to show you one of the more basic texts.  
  
  
  
“Asgardians speak, read, and write in the All Language.” Loki said as you stared at the book he was reading, it was covered in strange runes.  
  
“I remember Thor saying that.” You said.  
  
You were seated next to him on the floor in the library. Loki’s legs were stretched out in front of him and you had your legs pressed against your chest.  
You strained to get a better look at the book without touching him. He seemed to shy away from signs of physical contact.  
  
“I have to say, though, All Language sounds kinda stupid.” You confessed.  
  
Loki chuckled. “Yes well, that’s one translation. You speak English, right?” You nodded. “Other mortals have said the word has a beautiful sound.”  
  
 _‘Like your voice,’_  You thought idly.  
  
“Anyways,” Loki continued, “as you can gather by the name, it translates to whatever your native language is.”  
  
“And I can’t understand this because…?”  
  
“It’s a forgotten language.” He explained. You could see excitement in his eyes. Clearly you were the first person in years to take any interest in this. “The greatest Asgardian scholars take centuries to begin to translate it. Although speaking it out loud in its verbal tongue is interesting. Here,” he read a passage. Your mouth dropped open. It sounded like music, and bird song, and the babbling of creeks. It sounded like wind rustling through leaves, and children laughing, and the sweetest melodies that you could only describe as star song.  
  
“Wow…” You breathed softly. You had leaned into him, almost as though you physically needed to be nearer that sound.  
  
After Loki stopped reading he looked up at you. He noticed how close you were and, nearly imperceptibly, pulled away.  
You saw it and muttered a quick apology.  
  
Loki nodded and continued, back in what you heard as English. “It’s difficult to explain what that means.” He seemed to be fine admitting his limited understanding on such a complex subject. You could see the thirst for more knowledge. “It’s a civilization’s story of their creation. I’m not sure if it’s a myth they tell, or if they actually know how it was made.”  
  
“Well, you’ll have to tell me when you find out more. Is that all you can read? Or is there more?” You asked hopefully.  
  
Loki bit his lip. “The next hundred pages are beyond my comprehension, but,” he flipped nearer the end, “this part,” his long slender finger pointed to (what you assumed was) a passage on the page, “talks about an allied civilization’s destruction. Well, maybe allied. The two people interacted peacefully. Here.” He started to read.  
  
This part sounded like explosions, and screams, and the tears of widowed mothers and orphaned children. “Stop!” You covered the book. Loki looked up at you confused. He seemed hurt. “No, not you, it’s the sound.” He seemed even more confused. You searched for the right words, “it sounds like pain and upset. The other part was happy and musical but this…” you trailed off.  
  
Loki nodded in understanding. “Yes,” he agreed sadly, “it’s gruesome. These people suffered greatly.”  
  
You looked at him, this time you were confused. He seemed genuinely sad. You knew Loki had killed people. Thor said that on Asgard, Loki had tried to kill an entire species. Frost giants, he had said. Frost giants were hated and feared on Asgard. Killing them was no different than slaughtering a rat infestation by the sounds of it.  
These frost giants seemed to only bring suffering, just as plague rats did.  
  
Odin had made sure the two brothers understood that.  
  
Thor said he and Loki had learned that was not the case. The frost giants, Jotuns, were sentient beings, but Loki didn’t learn this until after so much damage had already been done.  
  
Loki was a victim of the ignorance Odin had instilled upon him.  
  
Odin seemed to cause a lot of shit, you thought angrily.  
  
Loki continued. “Their deaths were prolonged. Each one of them was killed one at a time, viciously and in the most painful of ways. Those who survived longer were made to watch as they waited their turn. All the while their homes lay falling into ruins in the background.”  
  
You felt sick hearing that. “Can you go back to the beginning?” You mumbled.  
  
Loki looked up at you. You were looking at the ground and seemed so upset. “Oh, right, sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you…” He said gently.  
  
You could hear real compassion in his voice. “No no, it’s really fascinating, but I like the beginning more.” You looked up and smiled weakly.  
  
Loki nodded and offered you a half smile before returning to the early pages. After he read the creation again, you found yourself smiling.  
  
Loki hesitated a moment then asked. “Do you want to get hot chocolate? Thor said it’s quite the delicacy and the places that have coffee also have it.”  
  
You hid your smile, and your shock, at the sudden kind gesture. “That sounds nice.” Then you let yourself smile. “You haven’t had hot chocolate?” Loki shook his head. “We definitely have to change that.”  
  
Loki offered another small smile before offering you his hand and helping you to your feet.  
  
“Let me grab my coat, I think it’s supposed to snow today.”  
  
Loki nodded. “I’ll change into my Midgardian attire.”  
  
You grinned. “I’ll meet you in the lobby.”  
  
After you returned to your room, you looked for warm clothes. You grabbed your (favorite set of winter clothes, boots/scarf/mittens, winter jacket of preferred style/color, etc). You headed to the lobby.  
  
Loki was waiting already. He wore black slacks and a long winter coat, deep green in colour. He also wore a grey checkered scarf.  
  
“Shall we?” You asked as you led him out into the crisp air.  
  
Loki nodded. When you looked away, he smiled, you really were such a lovely creature to look at. A lovely person to be around, he amended silently.


	15. Chapter 15

You and Loki arrived at a nearby coffee shop and purchased your hot chocolate to go. It was chilly outside as the two of you walked but the drink warmed you. Occasionally the wind would pick up, blowing Loki’s hair in his face. It was in its usual slicked back style but still ruffled magnificently in the wind.  
  
The wind sent shivers through you, but ultimately you were comfortable.  
  
As you walked, it occurred to you that Loki’s jacket and scarf were only for show, he didn’t look the least bit cold.  
  
You also couldn’t help but notice the occasional girl checking Loki out. Each time it happened, you glanced at Loki to see his reaction; he looked like he couldn’t care less and was instead completely enthralled by his hot chocolate.  
  
You found yourself feeling smug that the only time he looked up from it was to talk to you.  
  
The two of you finished your drinks and made your way back to the tower, just in time to see Natasha and Bruce leaving.  
“Hey (y/n)! Loki,” Natasha greeted you and Loki with a smile. Bruce smiled and held up his hand in greeting.  
  
“Hey Tasha, Bruce, where are you two headed?” You asked.  
  
“We’re going out to dinner,” Bruce replied. “Natasha convinced me to take a break from the lab and Steve convinced her to treat herself, so we figured we’d go together.”  
  
Natasha nodded. “Steve and Bucky are the only ones here now.”  
  
“Ok, you two have fun.” You said with a smile. Loki was already making his way to the elevator.   
You and Loki rode the elevator to your respective floors.  
  
After you changed out of your winter clothes, you went upstairs to Loki’s room and knocked on the door. Loki opened the door and looked down at you.  
“It was nice just spending time as friends.” You said, smiling.  
  
Loki glared at you coldly. “We’re not friends. I was being polite. I upset my partner and I was making amends.” His voice was short.  
  
Your smile faltered and you sighed. “Right, sorry… partner.” You grumbled. “Well, I’ll be upstairs in the lounge if you need me.  _Partner_.”  
  
Loki nodded and shut the door.  
  
You leaned against the wall of the elevator as it ascended to the top floor. You crossed your arms and sighed. ‘Why does Loki have to be so difficult?’ you thought to yourself.  
The door opened and you saw Steve and Bucky sitting on the couch watching TV.  
  
“Hey (y/n)!” Bucky called when he noticed you.  
  
Steve turned and looked at you. “Hey!” He beamed.  
  
“Hey guys.” You smiled as you joined them on the couch.  
  
“Natasha and Bruce just left,” Steve said, “where’s Loki?”  
  
“I pissed him off again.” You sighed.  
  
“What’d you do?” Steve asked.  
  
“I forgot we’re not friends, we’re only  _partners_.” You rolled your eyes.  
  
Bucky grinned as Steve laughed, “Sorry to hear.”  
  
Bucky stood up, “I’ll go check on him. I’ve been meaning to talk to him anyways.”  
  
You raised an eyebrow at him then shrugged, “Sure, have at it.” After Bucky left, you turned to Steve. “So, just you and me now then, I guess.”  
  
He nodded. “Yep.”  
  
“Wanna play some of Stark’s videogames?” You offered.  
  
“Sure! With any luck, I’ll get better and won’t have to deal with Stark’s constant gloating.”  
  


* * *

  
Loki was sitting on his bed, trying to read.  
A small part of him felt bad for telling you to leave, but he had to. He didn’t have friends and you were only going to use him; he just couldn’t figure out how yet.  
There were footsteps outside his door and Loki sat up confused. It wasn’t you, your steps were silent, and Thor was gone. Who else would be on his floor?  
  
There was heavy knocking followed by Bucky’s muffled voice. “Hey Loki.”  
  
Loki slowly walked over and opened the door. “Soldier?” Loki asked, completely taken aback.  
  
“(Y/n) said you were upset.”  
  
“I am not upset.” Loki scowled.  
  
Bucky shrugged. “Anyways, you owe me a rematch.”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”  
  
“I hear you’re pretty good at fighting with knives, and apparently you kicked my ass when we first met.” Loki smirked. Bucky continued, “I think it’s only fair that I get a second go, and maybe share a few fighting techniques.”  
  
Loki was about to open his mouth and say that a Midgardian couldn’t possibly stand to teach him anything but he stopped. Loki had studied numerous cultures to incorporate fighting styles for his mixture of magic and knives. Perhaps a Midgardian had something interesting after all.  
Loki nodded. “Very well.”  
  
Bucky’s face hardened and he said, “Also, call me Bucky or I’m going to start borrowing Tony’s nicknames.” Loki glared at him. “And one more thing, no magic.” Loki scowled deepened. “This is knife practice only.”  
  
“Fine.” Loki growled, “Let’s go.”  
  
Bucky grinned and led the way to the training rooms.  
  


* * *

  
“Hah! I win!” Steve yelled triumphantly, standing up and raising his fist in the air.  
  
You glared at the screen then down at your controller, “This is stupid… You cheated…” You grumbled.  
  
Steve smirked. “Oh come on (y/n), no one likes a sore loser.” He pushed your shoulder playfully. Unfortunately it was a bit too hard and you nearly fell over. “Oh sorry!” He said quickly.  
  
“No worries,” you laughed as you righted yourself. “Now then, I demand a rematch!” You grinned devilishly. You were cut off by a sudden alert from your phone. You quickly pulled it out and answered. “Director?” You asked confused. After a moment you hung up the phone and sighed. “Loki and I have our next assignment it seems.” Steve nodded. “Hey JARVIS, where’s Loki at?”  
  
“He’s with Bucky on the training level, miss (y/n),” the computer replied.  
  
You stood up, “Care to join me?”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
A short while later, you and Steve were exiting the elevator to the training floor. You could hear sounds of fighting.  
  
“There is no way you are that fast without magic!” You heard Bucky growl angrily.  
  
Loki’s laughed answered, “You’re too predictable.”  
  
Loki was dancing around Bucky, easily sidestepping his attacks. True to his word, Loki was not using magic.  
  
Growing frustrated, Bucky wildly swung his arms around. One of the blows got lucky and his metal fist collided with Loki’s chest. Loki stumbled back, gasping, as Bucky managed to tackle him and pin him to the ground.  
“Hah!” Bucky grinned as he sat on Loki.  
  
Loki scowled, and then with a green glow, he was standing beside Bucky. His double dissolved into the air.  
  
The two guys came into view just as the double vanished.  
  
“That’s cheating!” Bucky protested angrily. Loki smirked down at him.  
  
“Hey guys!” You called, walking towards them. Steve was beside you.  
  
Loki was in a light forest green shirt and black shorts. He was even wearing human tennis shoes.  
Bucky wore similar clothes but instead of green, he wore a tight white shirt.  
  
Loki helped pull Bucky back to his feet. As he did, your eyes roved over Loki’s figure. His stature was more to the slender side but his muscles were still well defined.  
You had a brief mental image of him shirtless, fresh out of the shower, his hair still dripping and hanging in curtains.  
  
You coughed as Bucky answered. “Hey (y/n), Steve. Loki was showing me some tricks with knives. I was kicking his ass until he started using magic.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “You got a lucky hit. I was easily beating you.”  
  
“So are we ok then?” You asked Loki hesitantly, thinking about earlier.  
  
Loki smirked, then his face softened apologetically. “Yes. And forgive my rudeness.”  
  
Steve managed to hide his shock.  
  
“It’s all good.” You grinned and Loki nodded. Then you continued, “I got a call from Fury though, it looks like we have a new mission. I don't know how long it'll last. We’re leaving as soon as you’re ready. There should be a car waiting outside.”  
  
Loki nodded. He glanced at Bucky. “That was fun.” Loki said, he smiled when he realized he genuinely meant it was fun. “Don’t think that you stand a chance against a god just because you got a lucky shot.” Loki added with a smirk.  
  
Bucky just silently shook his head, smiling.  
  
“You’re not actually a god, dumbass…” You couldn’t help but mutter.  
  
Loki glared at you coldly. “Pathetic mortal.” He hissed then stalked past you to the elevator. You nodded at Steve and Bucky then hurried after Loki.  
  
After you and Loki disappeared from sight, Steve turned to Bucky. “They bicker like an old married couple.”  
  
Bucky laughed. “They definitely do.” Then he groaned rubbing a red spot on his arm. “Loki was right though, I got lucky with that last hit. He’s fast.”  
  
Steve nodded. “He’s even worse when he’s in his armour. I doubt that punch would have slowed him down much. I kicked him in the face and the most it did was make him fall back a step.”  
  
Bucky’s mouth dropped open. “Damn… nice to have him working with us then.”  
  
Steve nodded and smiled. “I could say the same for you. You pack quite the wallop.”  
  
“Sorry…” Bucky offered a strained smile.  
  
Steve shook his head and chuckled. “Nah, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad to have you back.”  
  
“Someone has to keep your sorry ass out of trouble.” Bucky grinned.  
  
  
Within an hour, you and Loki were dressed, packed, and gone from the tower.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has been commenting, it really means the world to me :)

You and Loki spent the next couple of weeks in constant motion. Just as you thought the missions might finish and you’d get a reprieve, something else would pop up and you were shipped off to another country.  
  
You had been to China, Germany, Australia…  
  
“What the hell is that thing?!” You shrieked from the shower.  
  
The door burst around and Loki looked around, “Agent?” He searched the room concerned.  
  
You screamed again, throwing your towel at Loki. “LOKI WHAT THE FUCK?!”  
  
Loki quickly backed out of the bathroom, keeping the door open enough to talk to you. “Apologies…” he muttered.  
  
You blushed furiously inside the shower, horrified at what Loki might have seen.  
You turned the water off. “You don’t just barge into a bathroom when a woman is showering!” You yelled angrily.  
  
You could sense Loki rolling his eyes. “You’re the one screaming. I thought you were being attacked. That one man followed us back to our room when we stayed in China.” He retorted, clearly annoyed.  
  
You sighed and covered your face. You looked up as you remembered why you were screaming in the first place. That spider was the size of your head, you would swear it. You moaned wordlessly when you realized it was nowhere to be seen.  
  
“Tell me why you screamed or I’m coming in again.” Loki growled.  
  
You padded over to the door, wrapping your fallen towel around yourself. “There was a really big spider…” you mumbled sheepishly.  
  
Loki’s eyes darkened when he saw you but you couldn’t read his expression. He swallowed and looked away, coughing quietly.  
Loki paced back to his bed, resting his face in his hands as he sat down on the bed hunched over. “A spider…” He muttered annoyed.  
  
“It was huge!” You yelled defensively.”  
  
“Just put on your damned clothes so we can leave.” Loki growled.  
  
Was he blushing?  
  
Then your face turned bright red as you realized you were standing in front of Loki wearing only a towel. You hurried back into the bathroom, double checking everything for the spider. When you were decent you came back out. “Ok, let’s go.”  
 **...**  
  
Brazil, Guinea, Italy…  
  
“This wine is amazing…” You and Loki were at a restaurant across from your hotel. The two of you didn’t have to be anywhere for the rest of the day so you suggested that you spend it someplace nice.  
  
Loki was staring at you from across the table, amused. “How much have you had to drink?” Then he leaned back in his seat and folded his arms, frowning.  
  
You furrowed your brow, trying to comprehend what he was saying. “Shut up…” Your voice was a little slurred. You had been kicked harshly the day prior, a large bruise was still forming on your ribs. With this in mind, you figured you should enjoy the night; plus the wine was excellent.  
You shook your head trying to focus. “I’m fine.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m tired. I’m going back to the hotel. Good night agent.” He stood up and left.  
  
A couple hours later, you stumbled back to your room, undressing and crawled into bed.  
The bed felt different than you remembered and there were warm pillows beside you that you swear hadn’t been there before.  
Your drunken mind was too tired to care. The warmth was nice though, so you curled into them and quickly fell asleep.  
  
You woke in the morning to a throbbing headache and movement beside you.  
  
There was also something warm and heavy lying across your chest.  
  
You opened your eyes, trying to blink the sleep away. You looked down at the heavy thing on your chest, then turned your head to the side.  
  
Long black hair was sprawled out on the pillow next to you.  
  
Your mouth dropped open. “Loki?! What the fuck?!”  
  
He was lying on his stomach, arm draped across your chest. In his sleep, his arm curled you towards him defensively and you felt his cold fingers brush across your bare back.  
  
 _Bare back_  
  
Loki’s bright green eyes shot open. “What are you doing in my bed?!” Loki yelled, rolling away from you quickly before standing up. He was shirtless and wearing only black sleep pants.  
  
“Your bed?!” You yelled back, your voice shrill. Then you stopped and looked at the other neatly made bed. Your bag was on top, marking your claim. You gulped, mortified.  
  
Loki was glaring down at you. Then he stopped and quietly asked, “Agent, where are your clothes?”  
  
Your face turned beet red and your eyes widened; you thought you were embarrassed a second ago.  
Pulling the blankets up higher, you sat up and looked around. On the floor beside your bed was your clothing from the day before.  
  
 _All_  your clothing.  
  
Your mouth went dry.  
Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, closing his eyes. “I’m going to shower…” He cleared his throat and looked at the ceiling. “You make yourself decent and when I’m done, this never happened. Understood?”  
  
You nodded mutely, unable to form words.  
  
Loki stalked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. You could hear the water turn on.  
  
A good two minutes passed before you managed to start moving again.  
You quickly threw on your clothes before sitting on your bed and searching through your bag for one of Tony’s miracle hangover pills. ‘Miracle’, there was no miracle for a hangover but it eased the pain considerably.  
  
You heard the water turn off. “By the nine, please tell me you’re decent now.” You heard Loki growl from the bathroom.  
  
You nodded silently before realizing he couldn’t see you. “Yea.” You squeaked. Then you swallowed and spoke louder. “I’m good, you can come out now.”  
  
The door opened and Loki walked out, now back in his armour, his hair was almost dry.  
“Just go shower…” He muttered.  
  
You hurried into the bathroom. After you undressed, again, you stood under the faucet, arm against the wall and face pressed into your arm.  
  
‘I can’t believe that just happened.’ You thought silently.  
  
Still, it was nice being held so closely to him.  
  
You glared at the thought.  
  
You found yourself feeling hurt to think how disgusted he seemed to be near you, did he really dislike you that much?  
You glared that thought away too. Yours and Loki’s relationship was strictly professional.  
  
As you showered, Loki sat on the bed, staring morosely out the window. Why did you have to be so soft and warm? Why did holding you in his arms feel so nice and comforting? Ever since you had fallen asleep and he carried you back to bed, he looked forward to the next chance to hold you. Then there was your hair, your gossamer hair, how he wanted to run his fingers through it to hear the heavenly sounds you would undoubtedly make… He glared at the bathroom door, furious for thinking this.  
After a moment, his fury calmed and another thought occurred to him. You looked scared being next to him. Did the thought of him holding you truly scare you? Loki could feel his heart sinking.  
  
Meanwhile, for you, it took all your willpower to finish showering, dress and open the bathroom door. “C’mon… we have to meet our contact in 15…” You avoided eye contact as you spoke. Then you quietly added, “Sorry.”  
  
“It's fine. Let's just go.” Loki said just as quietly.  
  
You nodded, still looking anywhere but at him.  
  
Loki grabbed the bags before walking out of the room, not looking back to see if you followed.  
 **...**  
  
Ireland, Chechnya, Cuba, Russia…  
  
“You know, Natasha is from here.” You said as you and Loki hiked through a snowy forest.  
  
“The spy?” Loki asked.  
  
You nodded. “Yea, and Bucky spent quite some time here too.”  
  
Loki nodded thoughtfully. “It’s somewhat nice here.”  
  
“We’re in the middle of a damned forest… I don’t think there are any friendly people within ten miles, any direction.” You trudged along.  
  
Loki nodded. “Midgardians are insufferable sometimes.”  
  
“I’m a Midgardian.”  
  
Loki shrugged. “I said sometimes.”  
  
You turned away to hide your smile. Then you stopped. “There.” You raised a gloved finger towards a snow covered building.  
  
Loki looked where you were pointing. He nodded silently as he summoned his scepter.  
 **...**  
  
Before you knew it, it was late December and you were finally back in New York City.  
“It’s good to be home.” You murmured as the SUV drove through the sprawling city and the Avengers Tower came into view.  
  
Loki nodded beside you. “I will admit I missed the place. Mostly my library though…”  
  
You rolled your eyes, checking your phone. “Oh wow, it’s December 22nd, Christmas is in three days.”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow as he looked at you. “And?”  
  
You grinned, “We’ll get to celebrate Christmas as a dysfunctional family.”  
  
Loki nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve never celebrated Christmas before.”  
  
“Really?” You were shocked.  
  
Loki shrugged. “It’s a Midgardian holiday, and who would I care to spend it with?”  
  
“Thor?” You offered. Loki shrugged again. You gently placed your hand on his arm. “You can spend it with me then. Partners do that I’m sure.”  
  
Loki looked down at you amused, then he smirked. “You know, I can snap your neck quite easily from here.”  
  
You grinned. “Yea, ok, dumbass.” You rolled your eyes.  
  
The car pulled to a stop in front of the tower. You and Loki made your way inside where you halted, stunned by the decorations before you. Four trees adorned the lobby, all more than six meters tall. They were decorated with ornaments of reds, greens, silvers, and golds of all shades, shapes, and sizes.  
  
“Wow…” You breathed out softly. The air seemed to shimmer around them.  
  
Loki nodded. “The man of iron outdid himself.” He actually sounded impressed.  
  
After dropping your things off, you and Loki rode the elevator to the top floor.  
The doors opened revealing a crowded room and many talking voices.  
“Wow! Everyone’s here!” You exclaimed, delighted.  
The room fell silent once everyone noticed you and Loki.  
  
“(Y/n)!”  
“Loki!”  
  
You heard your names being shouted simultaneously.  
  
Thor ran forward to hug his brother. Natasha ran over and hugged you. More people started come when Clint loudly interrupted. “Why don’t you actually let them get in the room first?”  
  
Various apologies were made before you and Loki finally made it into the room.  
  
“Wow, hey guys.” You said, beaming around the room.  
  
Natasha, Clint, Tony, Pepper, Steve, Bucky, Thor, Jane, Bruce, and another dark haired woman you didn’t recognize were gathered in the room.  
  
“(Y/n), Loki, this is Darcy.” Thor introduced you to the woman.  
  
Darcy grinned, “Hey (y/n)! And Loki.” She paused. “Loki? Thor’s brother?”  
  
Loki nodded stiffly, once more cast into Thor’s shadow.  
Darcy looked at Thor, then back at Loki, then she stopped as it looked like she was trying to remember something.  
  
Jane rushed forward. “Yea, ok, hi you two.” She said quickly before Darcy could annoy Loki further. Jane hugged you then stepped back. She offered a rather awkward wave at Loki. “Sorry,” Jane said quietly. “Darcy is my intern, she’s… She has problems.”  
  
Darcy glared at Jane but opted to remain silent.  
  
Loki nodded.  
  
You could feel tension building in the room, “Right, so hey guys-”  
  
“Anyways!” Tony clapped his hands together, “we were just talking about you two.” You eyed him with interest. “Christmas is in three days. Seeing as it’s 4 o’clock, I can forgive you two from shopping for gifts today.”  
  
He glared at Pepper who rolled her eyes. Her face softened as she addressed you and Loki. “I figured when you two got back, you would probably be tired and not want to go out again right away.”  
  
You nodded gratefully. “Thanks Pepper.”  
  
She smiled and inclined her head. Tony continued, “So we’re all going gift shopping tomorrow, unless you already have gifts.”  
  
Pepper spoke again, “Then afterwards, we’re splitting up. The guys will be hanging out and we’ve decided to have a spa day, just us girls.”  
  
Natasha grinned, “That was my idea.”  
  
“Awesome!” You smiled. A day at the spa? That sounded marvelous.  
  
After that, pizzas were ordered and drinks were handed out. Everyone started filling each other in on what had happened over the last few months. Clint had returned last week, Darcy and Jane had arrived just a few days ago, Bruce and Tony had started more top secret experiments in the lab, it was all a blur to you of what happened, trying to keep up with everyone.  
  
Steve, Natasha, and Bucky had all stayed relatively near to the tower. Natasha wasn’t keen to let Bucky stray too far, though she didn’t say it out loud, she seemed almost fearful that there were still people who might come looking for him. Steve and Bucky didn’t mind since that gave them more time to catch up. They had been spending a great deal of time with their friend Sam Wilson, who unfortunately would be busy for the next several weeks and would not be joining the Avengers for Christmas. Bucky seemed just as up to date on modern things as Steve was.  
  
“So anything exciting happen with you and reindeer games?” Tony asked, pouring you a glass of wine and handing it back to you.  
You had taken a drink right as he said that. You choked and coughed, but managed to hide your blush. Thor glanced over at you concerned. You chanced a peek at Loki, wondering if he was thinking of Italy (you hadn’t had any alcohol since that night).  
  
You swore you saw a flicker of amusement in his eyes but he was already speaking, “Well, (y/n) is afraid of spiders it would seem.” He stretched his legs out and yawned, never once glancing at you.  
  
Everyone was gathered on two massive couches, perpendicular to each other. Loki was at the end of the couch and you found yourself pleasantly close to him, namely because Bucky, Darcy, and Steve took up the other happy. Poor Darcy was squeezed between the two super soldiers.  
Bucky stared down at you amused.  
  
“I am not!” You yelled indignantly. “That spider in Australia was the size of Tony’s head.”  
  
“Tony’s head? Literally or figuratively?” Natasha called over with a laugh.  
  
Tony scowled and Loki laughed.  
  
Natasha smirked and nodded at Loki who smirked back. You had forgotten the two had become acquainted since Loki joined the team. The two had bonded over their shared delight in bothering Tony. You said bothering, but it was more of a getting revenge at Tony’s frequent antics.  
  
Natasha was leaning against Clint who had his arm around her shoulder.  
  
The two assassins made a nice couple, you thought, genuinely happy for them; thought it briefly reminded you that you were alone. You shrugged inwardly, you didn’t have time to date anyways, you had an errant demigod to keep watch of.  
  
You didn’t know how much time passed when you suddenly felt yourself nodding off. The exhaustion from your missions finally catching up; for the first time in who knows how long, you were finally able to relax and truly let your guard down. Loki sat beside you, using his elbow on the back of the couch to keep his head propped up. He too was slowly falling asleep, also enjoying the respite from constant hypervigilance. He blinked himself awake once he felt your form leaning into him, dangerously close to falling in his lap.  
  
“Brother,” Loki heard Thor whisper from behind him, “perhaps you should bring (y/n) to bed?”  
  
Loki looked back at Thor, his cheeks tinged pink, “I should what her- oh, right…”  
  
Thor chuckled at Loki’s misinterpretation. Loki glared at him angrily before saying, “(y/n), wake up.”  
  
You jolted awake. “What? Oh right, sorry.”  
  
Loki was still glaring at Thor, trying to hide his embarrassment.   
Thor scowled, “You weren’t supposed to wake her.”  
No one else noticed the exchange as Tony and Bruce were in the midst of a loud heated discussion that occupied the attention of the rest of the room.  
  
You blinked, still drowsy, “What?”  
  
Loki scowled and rolled his eyes. He stood up and finally looked down at you. “Come on agent.” Loki grabbed your arm and roughly pulled you to your feet.  
  
“Ow, hey!” You pulled your arm away.  
  
Loki clenched his jaw then muttered, “Apologies. Thor said I should escort you to your room, seeing as you were falling asleep.”  
  
You glared at Thor, then back at Loki, “You don’t have to be so rough about it. And sheesh, just wake me up next time.” You stalked towards the elevator.  
  
Thor shot an annoyed look at Loki. Loki angrily rolled his eyes and followed after you, catching the door with his hand so he could join you. You glared at him as the door slid shut.  
  
You pressed the button to Loki’s floor then crossed your arms and glared at him. When the elevator stopped, Loki made no move to leave. “Well?” You growled.  
  
Loki sighed in exasperation. “Well what?” He shot back.  
  
“Aren’t you going to leave? We’re at your floor.”  
  
“No…” He said slowly but forcefully, as though bracing himself. “I’m going to actually apologise.”  
You looked at him shocked, then suspicious, but you remained quiet.  
“I wasn’t going to wake you.” ‘ _It was nice having you so close_ ,’ he ignored the thought and spoke out loud, “That was Thor’s doing.”  
  
“Yea, well, you didn’t have to grab my arm so hard.”  
  
Loki frowned apologetically. “That was truly an accident, no malice was intended.”  
  
Your face softened. “Oh, ok. Sorry I got upset with you then.”  
  
Loki nodded. Then faster than you could comprehend, Loki leaned over you and placed a small kiss on your cheek. “Sleep well agent.” He stepped out and with a small wave of green, the doors shut and the elevator was already moving to your floor, far too fast for you to react.  
  
When the doors opened to your floor, you were still standing there in stunned silence. The scent and touch of Loki still lingering.  
  
“JARVIS?” You finally whispered.  
“Yes, miss (y/n)?”  
“What just happened?”  
“You and Loki rode down the elevator in silence, he exited, and now you are at your floor.”  
You brow furrowed in confusion. “Silence?” Had your mind played tricks on you?  
“Yes miss (y/n), that is what my sensors indicate.”  
“Didn’t Loki say good night?”  
“Not that I’m aware of, miss (y/n), are you feeling alright? Perhaps you should lie down.”  
You nodded absently, completely confused. “Good idea… good night JARVIS.”  
“Good night miss (y/n).”


	17. Chapter 17

You woke to a pillow hitting your face.  
“Loki, what the hell?” You batted the pillow away, rubbing your eyes as you tried to wake up.  
  
“Loki huh?” You heard a voice beside you.  
You looked up startled, then relaxed when you realized it was Natasha.  
She nodded thoughtfully, “I suppose you two have spent the last weeks together…”  
  
You nodded groggily, “Yea, every day, no breaks.”  
  
“Must get annoying waking up next to him.”  
  
You nodded slowly, your mind begging you to fall back asleep. Then you managed to comprehend what she said. You glared at her, “Yes, beds at hotels tend to be next to each other.”  
  
“Of course, that’s what I said. Why? What were you thinking?” She grinned at you.  
  
You scowled at her teasing. Reaching back, you grabbed your pillow to smack her. “Go away.” You groaned.  
  
She dodged it. “Now come on, get up, we’re going Christmas shopping and having our girl’s day out.” Natasha walked to the doorway before turning back to you and saying softly, “I’m really glad you’re back.”  
  
“Thanks Nat.” You smiled.  
  
“I mean it, you’re one of my closest friends. Don’t doubt for a second that I won’t come looking for you if you need it. And when I say come looking, I mean I'll kill an army if I have to.” She paused. “We all think of you that way, the whole team.”  
  
“Thanks Natasha, really.”  
  
Then she added, “Don’t tell Loki, but we’ll save his sorry ass too if he needs it. He’s earned his title as an Avenger.”  
  
You laughed, “Of course I won’t tell him, he might think I like him, or worse, that we’re actually friends.”  
  
She grinned, “Now hurry up! We have things to do!” The door slammed shut behind her.  
  
After everyone was dressed, the girls made their way upstairs. Only Steve was in the kitchen when you got up.  
  
“Hey Steve,” Natasha said.  
  
“Ladies.” Steve offered a polite wave to everyone.  
  
“Where are the rest of the guys?” Darcy asked around her waffles.  
  
Steve sighed. “Tony and Bruce passed out in the lab again, I think. Thor is still sleeping, Bucky is lifting weights before he eats, not sure about Clint or Loki.”  
  
Pepper sighed, “I’m going to have to set a timer on the lab somehow.”  
  
“If you want, I could try and help with that sometime,” Jane offered quietly.  
  
“Really?” Pepper looked equal parts grateful and excited.  
  
Jane nodded, “I’m sure we can manage something.”  
  
The elevator door opened and Bucky and Thor stepped out. “Good morning everyone!”  
Calls of good morning answered them.  
  
After you and the other girls had finished breakfast, you bid the guys farewell and made your way to the lobby.  
  
“Oh shit, I forgot something.” You said just as the doors opened and everyone stepped out.  
  
You heard the others sigh and Natasha glared at you before saying, “Hurry up then! We don’t have all day!”  
  
The doors shut and you made your way back to Loki’s floor. You hurried to his door before hesitantly knocking.  
The door opened, revealing a tired looking Loki; he was shirtless and in his fleece pajamas, and his usually slicked back hair was messy from sleep.  
  
He blinked down at you tiredly, “Good morning agent…” He murmured.  
  
You couldn’t help but admire his muscles that rippled with his movements.  
  
You felt a shadow of a blush on your face. “Hey,” you smiled warmly. “I have a question for you about last night.”  
  
Loki yawned, “what of it?”  
  
“After you woke me up, and we went downstairs together,” Loki nodded, you hesitated, “did you… did you say good night?”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow at you amused. “That is what one generally does before sleeping.”  
  
“JARVIS said you didn’t.”  
  
“Perhaps the man of iron’s technology is not as good as he has led himself to believe.”  
  
“Oh… ok. Well I’ll see you later then.”  
  
Loki nodded and shut his door. He crawled back onto his bed lying face down.  
Tricking the computer system had been too easy. It was painfully outdated but it didn’t take long for him to remember the proper workings of it.  
  
You returned downstairs to the girls and you all left quickly to go shopping. It took a surprisingly short amount of time for you to find gifts for everyone, even for Loki's. You had spent awhile planning to get him something, then realized Christmas would be the perfect opportunity for it. You had enlisted Thor's help several months ago and all you needed now was the finishing piece. Everyone ate at the shopping centers because it would be incredibly late when you returned to the tower. Then you happily made your way to the spa, ready for the next few hours of bliss.  
  
Shortly after the girls left, Clint was found, Tony and Bruce were woken up, and Loki joined everyone in the lounge. They too stayed out til late in the evening, eating near one of the stores, and returning home in the wee hours of the morning.  
  
Phone calls had been made saying that the Christmas party would be Christmas eve. The morning of December 24th was spent wrapping gifts until one by one, everyone made their way upstairs for a late brunch.  
  
You, Loki, and Bucky were chatting amicably as you rode the elevator to the top floor. The door opened and Loki stepped out first.  
  
Sitting on the couch, his mouth in the shape of an 'O' was Clint pointing at Loki. Loki looked at him confused as you stepped out after him.  
  
"Hah! Reindeer games has to kiss (y/n)!" Tony shouted.  
  
Loki turned back to you startled. "What?"  
  
Clint pointed at a small set of berries hanging just outside the elevator door. "Mistletoe. Christmas tradition. Rules say that if you're standing under the mistletoe with someone, you have to kiss them."  
  
Tony grinned, "go on then."  
  
Loki glared at the two men before crossing his arms. "Now why would I do that?"  
  
You could feel a twinge of pain in your heart, but you hid it by rolling your eyes. "No one has to play by your stupid rules Stark."  
  
"Here (y/n)." Bucky walked over, pecking you on the cheek before walking into the kitchen. Tony and Clint scowled. You shook your head before throwing yourself down on the couch.  
  
Loki had followed Bucky into the kitchen so no one noticed either of their reactions.  
  
"Ok, who's next? Thor or Natasha?" Tony asked, his attention returned to the elevator. As if on cue, the doors opened and Steve walked out.  
  
"Aww!" Clint let out a disappointed groan.  
  
Steve looked around confused, "what?"  
  
You pointed at the mistletoe. Steve rolled his eyes, "very funny Stark."  
  
He reached up to take it down when Tony ran over. "No no no! You can't do that!"  
  
The two men struggled against each other as the door opened once more.  
  
Thor walked out and saw the mistletoe Tony was holding above his head. Thor sighed, "very well then..." He leaned forward to kiss Tony.  
  
"No no no! You are not kissing me again! Mistletoe only counts once!" Tony yelled, tossing the berries to Steve, who quickly tossed them to Thor.  
  
Loki and Bucky had peaked around the corner to see what the commotion was about. When they saw Thor about to kiss Tony, the two men roared with laughter.  
  
"Again?" You muttered to Clint.  
  
Clint snickered, "remind me to tell you about that later."  
  
Thor looked at Tony confused, "You told lady Natasha that it was every time."  
  
Everyone spun to see Clint's reaction. "You what?" He growled. "I'm gonna kick your ass Stark!"  
  
As he said that Natasha walked out, followed shortly by Bruce. "Why are you kicking his ass?" Natasha asked, looking around. Then she noticed Thor with the mistletoe. "Oh." She grinned and pecked him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas Thor. Well, Christmas eve." She added as an afterthought.   
  
Clint scowled but fell silent. The mistletoe had been taken down by the time Jane and Pepper showed up.  
  
"Ok everyone!" Steve announced to the group. "Thor, will you help me with bringing the Christmas tree up? Everyone else can add any finishing touches to their gifts. If you're already done, you can stay up here and help decorate. Then finally, don't forget to bring your gifts up here and our Christmas party can officially commence."  
  
Everyone agreed and went their separate ways.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song: https://soundcloud.com/ppoonnddd/carry-on-my-wayward-son-lullaby-supernatural

You hurried back to your room, applying the finishing touches to all the gifts. The last gift to wrap was Loki’s.  
  
Very carefully, with green and gold paper, you wrapped the delicate little box before placing a black bow with intricate golden weaves decorating it.  
  
You leaned back and smiled at your handiwork.  
  
Realizing you had placed a bit too much care on Loki’s gift, you carefully selected bows and ribbons around the others. It was late in the afternoon when you finished, then sun already starting to set. After a quick shower, an acceptable amount of make-up for the occasion, you dressed in a matching dress of your favorite colour.  
Standing in front of the mirror, you found yourself pleased with the results.  
  
Opening your bedroom door to go upstairs, you walked into Natasha.  
  
After the initial surprise, the two of you recovered and smiled as you examined the bags carrying reach of your carefully wrapped gifts.  
  
"Got something special for Clint?" You smirked.  
  
"Got something special for Loki?" She retorted.  
  
You hid your blush behind a glare, then changed the subject. “You look really nice.”  
  
"Thanks, so do you. Now come on, let’s go see how the others are doing."  
  
You and Natasha were the last to arrive. Everyone had gathered around the Christmas tree which had been placed in the center of the room. The couches had been moved back to make room for it. Most of the other Avengers had mugs of hot chocolate in their hands, all sitting and admiring the beautifully decorated tree.  
  
“Wow Steve, you did great.” You said as you walked over to the group. You emptied your bag of gifts and carefully set them amongst the others.  
  
Tony walked in from the kitchen, carrying a glass of undoubtedly spiked eggnog. “Here ya go big guy.” Tony said as he handed it to Thor.  
  
Thor grinned as he took a sip. “That is a drink most excellent young Stark!” Jane giggled and leaned in to him. Thor wrapped his arm around her and hugged her closer.  
  
Loki sat on one end of the couch, his elbow leaning on the armrest with his hand propping his head up. He struck you as a mixture of bored and deep in thought.  
  
“Alright everyone! Gift opening commences!” Steve announced as he clapped his hands together. Bruce moved to the tree and started passing out the gifts to their respective owners. Sounds of shock and delight filled the air as people opened the gifts.  
  
“Aww! Thanks Tony!” Steve grinned as he held up his gift.  
  
Loki lifted up a large flat box and curiously opened it. You couldn’t see what it was from your position on the floor but he scowled.  
  
Tony snickered. “What do you think?” Loki glared at Tony before dropping it on the floor.  
  
You caught a glimpse of a horrible sweater decorated with reindeer. “Tony, don’t be such an ass. We’re not doing prank gifts.” You growled.  
  
Tony rolled his eyes and muttered too quietly for you to hear.  
  
You finished opening your gifts and realized you hadn’t received one from Loki. You felt your heart sink. You bit down hard, trying to hide your disappointment. You were so proud of your gift to him, you’d hoped he might have secretly reciprocated.  
After a moment you sighed inwardly, no use in being upset you thought.  
  
Natasha opened up her gift from Clint. She giggled and rolled her eyes. “Really?” Everyone turned to her as she held up a silver bracelet, engraved with an arrow. Shaking her head, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thanks Clint.”  
  
You looked back to Loki as you realised he was opening your gift. He smiled curiously at the colours. Under the wrappings was a box, which he then opened. From inside the cardboard box, he lifted up a small silver chest. His brow furrowed in confusion.  
  
“Wait!” You hurried over to him before he could open the chest. “You have to wind it up first.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Thor looking over expectantly. He had been an integral part in making it. You pulled the box from Loki’s chill hands, your fingers brushing along his. Carefully you wound it up before handing it back.  
  
Loki looked at you curiously once more before slowly opening it. A beautiful song started to play as everyone looked over at the two of you with interest. Loki stared at the open box, from your vantage point, no one could see its inside. You bit your lip nervously, waiting for some reaction.  
  
Loki’s face was completely blank as he stared at it. The music slowly stopped and everyone continued to stare. The others mutely tried to guess what was inside. After the room fell completely silent, a palpable tension filled the air.  
  
Suddenly you felt uneasy. “Do you like it?” You mumbled quietly. Loki looked up at you, his face was still blank but his eyes were cold. Your face fell. “I’m sorry… I didn’t…”  
  
“Stop talking.” Loki hissed, standing up abruptly. He tossed the box onto the couch where it bounced once before lying still.  
  
“Loki… don’t be like that…” Bucky said slowly, though he didn’t know what was in the box.  
  
Loki shot a cold glare at Bucky. Then he stalked silently out of the room, out onto the balcony before slamming the door shut. You felt tears sting at the corner of your eyes.  
  
“What’s inside of it?” Natasha asked softly.  
  
You shook your head, fighting back the tears.  
  
Thor stood up, accidentally knocking Jane over. “It’s very late.”  
  
For unknown reasons Tony found himself speaking; the coldness that Loki had exuded shook him. “Why don’t we go to Central Park? It’s not that far from here, and since it’s almost midnight, we can celebrate outside with everyone else.”  
  
Quiet murmurs of assent filled the air as everyone moved towards the elevator. You were still kneeling down by the couch, staring at the delicate box, fighting back tears.  
  
Thor rested his hand gently on your shoulder. “Don’t worry (y/n), I should have known better. It’s not your fault. Come, let’s go celebrate at the park in the center. Loki will be fine in the morning.” He murmured quietly.  
  
“You go on ahead. I think I’m going to go to bed…” You mumbled quietly.  
  
Thor nodded, “Very well, good night (y/n).” He joined the others and you were soon left alone in the room, still staring sadly at the music box.  
You gently lifted it up, looking inside at the picture of a beautiful woman. Thor had said she was Frigga, his and Loki’s mother. She was the closest person to Loki and never once had she given up on him.  
  
You felt bitter tears roll down your face. You closed the music chest before returning it to its box. After you wiped away your tears, you stood up. With a deep but shaky breath, you walked over to the balcony door. You tapped on the glass to alert Loki.  
  
Stepping outside, you saw that he was hunched over the railing, gazing out across the city. “Loki…” You said quietly. He didn’t turn or acknowledge you in the slightest. You walked closer to him so you stood only a few steps away. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think… I never wanted to upset you.”  
  
“Just stop.” Loki muttered. Still not looking at you, he waved his hand and with a glow of green, a box appeared. He tossed it to you and, even in your surprise, you managed to catch it. “I was going to give that to you.” He muttered again.  
  
You inspected the small box, it was wrapped in your favorite colors, though on top was still a green and gold bow. You wanted to smile, but the cold radiating from Loki prevented it. After a moment of hesitation, you unwrapped it and looked inside. There was a gold necklace with a teardrop shaped pendant. The gem was a blue-purple colour. As you held it up in awe, you realised that the light refracting off of it caused it to change colours.  
  
“Loki… it’s beautiful.” You whispered reverently.  
  
Loki nodded, still gazing out across the city.  
 _‘Like you’_  He wanted to say, but he didn’t. He closed his eyes and nearly imperceptibly shook his head.  
Instead he simply said, “yes.”  
  
 _‘she’s beautiful, Thor said she loved you dearly. I only wanted you to know that people care about you.’_  But the words never left your mouth.  
  
Somewhere across the city, you heard a clock start to chime midnight. Loki straightened up abruptly. “Good night agent.” He glanced back over his shoulder, “merry Christmas.” Then he disappeared inside.  
  
You were left quietly staring out across the city, suddenly feeling empty.  
  
Finally, resignedly, you made your way back inside. You stopped when you felt something under foot. Kneeling down, you noticed the crumpled remains of mistletoe. You looked up in the direction Loki had left, but he was long gone; you were left with only the sound of wind blowing in the night.


	19. Chapter 19

When you went back inside, you saw that the little silver chest was no longer on the couch.  
  
None of the other Avengers ever mentioned the chest again; everyone silently and unanimously agreed to pretend it never happened.  
  
In the morning, you woke to the sound of light tapping on your door. You slowly got out of bed and made your way over to answer it.  
  
In the doorway stood Loki, he looked down at you, “Thor and I are returning to Asgard for several days. I figured I should let you know, seeing as you’re my partner.”  
  
You frowned. “What are you doing there?” Loki shrugged. You sighed, “Alright. Have fun.” Acting on a sudden impulse, you tossed your arms around Loki and hugged him.  
  
At first he was startled, but after a moment he gently patted your back. “Yes, very well then.” He bowed his head before turning and walking away.  
  


* * *

  
“Hey (y/n)!” Bucky called from the couch as soon as you walked out of the elevator.  
  
“Hey Bucky.” You flopped onto the couch. The tree had been moved over and the TV was down. Tony was playing a marathon of Christmas movies.  
  
“You should’ve seen the fireworks last night. They’ve gotten so much better since I was a kid.”  
  
Steve walked over as Bucky spoke. He handed you a little gingerbread cookie.  “Bruce is baking.” He explained with a smile.  
  
“Excellent, thanks Bruce!” You called towards the kitchen.  
  
There was muffled cursing and you heard Bruce yell. “Out! Go watch movies!”  
  
Tony stalked out of the kitchen, grumbling as he went. He was covered in flour. You, Bucky, and Steve eyed him curiously. “Bruce kicked me out of the kitchen. Pepper and Jane say I can’t go in the lab. I don’t know what they’re doing at the door but I don’t like it and I don’t trust them.” He grumbled clearly annoyed. “Then Pepper threatened to involve Natasha if I tried to get past.”  
  
“Oh come off it,” Bucky shot back. “Enjoy the day off, it’s good to have a break.”  
  
Later Clint and Natasha showed up and joined you for the movie marathon. Just before dinner, Pepper and Jane came up from the lab. Pepper looked smug and pleased. “I got Jane’s help. No more all-nighters in the lab.”  
  
“What?!” Tony yelled, horrified.  
  
Bruce walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. He sighed. “It’s probably for the best.” Then he clapped his hands together. “Alright everyone! Dinner is set.”  
  


* * *

  
The next day, Steve got called away urgently by Sam Wilson. Bucky groaned as Steve finished his breakfast. “When am I going to leave this damned tower?”  
  
“Sorry Bucky, we still need you on the down low.” Steve apologized.  
  
You were leaning against the counter watching the exchange. “When are you getting back?” You asked.   
  
“Not ‘til after new year’s.” Bucky growled angrily before sitting on the couch, crossing his arms defiantly.   
  
You bid Steve farewell then joined Bucky on the couch. Natasha and Clint were away, Pepper was back working as CEO of Stark Industries, and Tony and Bruce were in the lab. With Jane gone, the two had worked around the locks she’d set in place and returned to around the clock experiments. Jane and Darcy had returned to New Mexico. There was a meteor shower happening on New Year’s Eve that Jane needed to be prepared for.  
  
The two Asgardians would be gone until mid-January it seemed. So New Year’s Eve came and you found yourself struggling to read one of Loki's books. After a while you sighed and gave up, instead deciding to check on Natasha.  
  
You walked towards her door when you heard noises from within, groaning, you went upstairs.  
  
Bucky was sitting sullenly on the couch, glaring at some movie Jarvis must have picked. He heard you enter and his face brightened. "Finally!"  
  
You looked at him confused. "What's up?"  
  
"Steve is gone, Tony tricked Bruce to join him and Pepper to go out partying, the brothers are on Asgard and I don't know where Clint and Natasha are."  
  
You sat down on the other couch from him. "Pretty sure they're celebrating new year’s."  
  
"So now what?”  
  
"We could watch the world countdown."  
  
Bucky sighed. "Yea, alright." He shook his head. "If they don't let me do something soon, I'm just going out by myself."  
  
"I'll talk to Steve."  
  
"Really?" He perked up instantly.  
  
You nodded, "Sure, I don't see what all the fuss is about. You should at least be able to wander around the city. It's going to take a lot to overpower a super soldier."  
  
He grinned before coming over and picking you up effortlessly. He hugged you and spun you in a circle. "Oh you're amazing! I could kiss you!"  
  
You laughed. "Alright, put me down now." For a brief second his cold metal arm reminded you of Loki. You wanted to frown but hid it.  
As midnight drew nearer, you and Bucky sat down, watching expectantly.  
  
"This is my first real new years since the 40s."  
"Well now you get to celebrate it as an Avenger." The countdown from 10 started and the roar of voices on the TV began. You and Bucky cheered as the New Year rang in.  
  
"Happy new year’s." Jarvis announced. "I made brownies."  
  
"Happy new year’s!" You said in unison with Bucky. Then you looked at each other in excitement. "Brownies?" You dashed to the kitchen and started helping yourselves.  
  
The elevator opened and Clint and Natasha walked out. "Happy new year’s everyone." They joined you for brownies. What a beautiful way to ring in the new year.   
  


* * *

  
When a very battered and tired Steve returned to the tower, you and Bucky instantly went about pleading Bucky's release. It took three days of nearly constant pestering before Steve crumbled.  
  
You and Bucky stood outside his bedroom door at 6 in the morning.  
  
"Steve."  
"Steve." Bucky repeated.  
"Steve."  
"Steve."  
The door burst open and Steve stood before you in his boxers and a white tank top. "What?!" He yelled.  
  
"How about now?" You asked with a cheeky grin.  
  
"Fine! Just fine." He covered his face with his hand, slowly shaking his head. "If it'll make you two leave me alone..."  
  
You and Bucky high fived. "Great! Thanks Steve." Bucky's face was completely lit up. "And (y/n)."  
You grinned.  
  
"So what now?" Steve muttered.  
  
You and Bucky exchanged uncertain looks. "Erm... well I hadn't got this far in the plan yet." You confessed sheepishly.  
  
Steve groaned.  
  
"I think I'll go to Coney Island today. You have to swear that the next time you get called away, I'm coming with. It's about time I can go back to protecting your punk ass." Bucky said.  
  
Steve shook his head. "Jerk." Though he couldn't hide his smile. "Alright, next time I'll bring you with.  
  


* * *

  
Natasha and Clint got called away several days later. Bruce was invited to a science expo in Poland and Tony volunteered to go with. Shortly afterwards, Thor and Loki returned from Asgard.  
  
You Bucky and Steve were all in the lounge, having just finished a round of sparring. You got tired quicker than the super soldiers so you ended up practicing your gun accuracy while they kept fighting.  
  
You were eating some of your favorite snacks on one couch; Bucky and Steve were leaning on opposite arms of the other couch. Both were tired looking but still pleased. The three of you sat up as you heard a loud rushing noise and saw a bright light from the balcony. Soon the door opened and an ecstatic looking Thor walked out, followed by a rather sullen Loki. Loki stalked past to the elevator, ignoring everyone completely.  
  
Thor sighed but his smile quickly returned. "My friends! I have missed you!" He walked over and embraced you tightly, then repeated the action to Bucky and Steve.  
  
"So what happened?" Steve asked.  
  
"How's Asgard?" Bucky asked.  
  
"What's wrong with Loki?" You asked.  
  
"I can't say yet." Thor grinned. "Asgard is well. My father, Odin, is returning to the Odinsleep but he was able to see us. Heimdall, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three are taking care of the king's duties. Asgard is in good hands. As for Loki..." Thor sighed. "He has little love for Odin. Lady Sif, Volstagg, and Hogunn are still in the process of forgiving him, but they are making the effort."  
  
You frowned. "Should we check on him?"  
  
"I'm uncertain if that's wise, but if you think so, I trust your judgment of him." Thor answered.   
  
"I'll go see." You left as Bucky and Steve started to fill Thor in on what he missed. You passed through the library, drawing close to Loki's familiar door. You were struck by how similar it felt from the time you first met him. Hesitating for the briefest moment, you knocked on the door.  
  
There was silence, then shortly the door opened and Loki glared down at you. "What?" He growled.  
  
"I was just checking on you. Sheesh, no need to bite my head off."  
  
Loki continued to glare. "Go away agent."  
  
You scowled. "You don't have to be so rude, you grumpy old god."  
  
Loki narrowed his eyes angrily. "Mortal, if there is something you want, say it. Otherwise leave me to my reading." Then he added, "please."  
  
You mumbled quietly. "I just wanted to say I missed you... The others missed you as well." You looked down at the floor.  
  
Loki's face softened but you didn't see. "Oh." His voice was quiet. "Thank you agent..."  
  
You looked up and smiled. "It's good to have you back  _partner_."  
  
 _There was that damned smile, making him want to smile_  
  
He nodded, then said ruefully, "Yes,  _partner_. Though I truly am tired. I wish to read some before sleeping."  
  
"Ok. I'll be upstairs if you need me. I think Jarvis is making pizza."  
  
Loki nodded and shut the door. After he heard you leave, Loki sank onto his bed, completely exhausted. His eyes burned; the nightmares had returned while he was on Asgard.  
  


* * *

 

* * *

  
It was around noon the next day when you realized Loki hadn’t come upstairs for breakfast.  
  
  


* * *

Steve and Bucky finally got a mission, much to Bucky’s delight.  
“We’ll just surprise Tasha… what she doesn’t know won’t…” Steve trailed off uncomfortably. Bucky just stood there grinning.   
“We’ll manage something.” You assured them. “Now get going.”

* * *

  
  
Thor was snoring away on the couch. You frowned not wanting to wake him.  
  
You grabbed a muffin and went down to the library. As you moved nearer Loki’s door, brief movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention.  
  
Loki was curled up in your reading nest, shaking and whimpering. Your mouth dropped open and a pang of sympathy shot through your heart.  
  
You ran over to him and shook his shoulder. “Loki,” You hissed quietly, not wanting to startle him. His eyes shut tighter and he shrank away from your touch. Another whimper and you started to get worried. “Loki, please, wake up, it’s just a dream.”  
You could see cold sweat forming on his brow as the shaking increased.  
Growing desperate, you thought to call Thor but you weren’t quite prepared to risk Loki’s anger. You doubted Thor knew about the dreams and you knew Loki would probably not want to him to find out.  
  
You grabbed Loki’s hands with yours and squeezed them tightly. Finally you threw caution to the wind, and hugged Loki close, stroking his hair. “Loki, please, it’s not real, please.” You said rocking him back and forth. You were startled as his strong arms gripped you close. You squeaked but managed to whisper. “I’m right here, I’m real ok? I’m here for you, I won’t leave.”  
  
You leaned back, brushing his hair from his face. His bright green eyes opened slowly and he looked at you confused, blinking slowly. “(Y/n)?” He murmured uncertainly. He gazed around as though trying to remember where he was.  
  
“Hey Loki.” You smiled but he was still holding you tightly. You grimaced, 'damn Asgardians are strong.'  
Loki didn’t seem to notice that he was still holding you. You found yourself not wanting to complain about the close proximity, though you still blushed. He closed his eyes as he tried to even out his breathing. You could still see pain and terror etched in his face.  
  
Finally his senses came back and he pushed you away, standing up abruptly. You fell to the ground, landing on your back then propping yourself up on your forearms.  
  
Blowing a strand of hair out of your face you looked up at Loki and smiled, “hey dumbass.”  
  
The pink you swore that had been in his cheeks was gone. Loki’s eyes narrowed as he glared down at you. “Mortal.” He growled. He turned to walk away.  
  
“Wait! Loki!” You held your hand out, waving for him to stop. He glanced back at you. “I’m sorry, I was trying to make a joke.”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow and looked down at you. “What?”  
  
You sighed. “You’re my partner, ok? I’m here if you need anything. Really, anything. I promise you, ok? I won’t let anything happen to you.”  
  
Loki was taken aback at the sincerity and adamancy of your voice. Then his face fell. “Can you? Can you really?” He eyed you grimly, his eyes were dark.  
  
You carefully stood up, brushing your clothes off. “I’ll damn well try. You’re not alone.”  
  
After a moment he nodded and offered a small rueful smile. “Perhaps not.” He hesitated. “Is there any pizza leftover from yesterday?”  
  
You beamed. “Definitely! Come on!” You grabbed his arm and pulled him after you.  
Loki shook his head slowly but allowed himself to be led upstairs.  
  
Thor had woken up by the time you and Loki returned. “(Y/n)! Brother! It’s good to see you out of your room.” Loki scowled. You grinned at Thor before hurrying into the kitchen to find the pizza. Loki sat down on the empty couch and stretched out with a slight groan. He was paler than normal, which was saying something.  
  
“Are you well?” Thor asked uncertainly.  
  
Loki waved his hand dismissively, though he covered his eyes as he leaned back on the couch. “I’m fine Thor.”  
  
Thor nodded slowly. “Very well…” You walked back over, balancing three plates of pizza.  
  
“I didn’t ask but I figured you would want some Thor.”  
  
Loki moved his hand from his face and looked up at you, Thor turned and grinned. “Thank you lady- thank you (y/n).”  
  
“You guys wanna watch a movie?” You looked between the two uncertainly. Both tall men were stretched out on the couch leaving no room for you. Surprisingly it was Loki who bent his legs up. He was still on his back but there was space for you to sit. You flashed a grateful smile before plopping down; your legs curled under you so as to take up less room.  
  
“What movie shall we watch?” Thor asked.  
  
“Jarvis?” You asked. The screen started to lower. “Oh shit, I forgot drinks.” You balanced your plate on the arm of the chair and returned to the kitchen.  
  
“Sixth sense?” Thor’s voice carried into the kitchen.  
  
“Sure, why not?” You asked as you walked back, handing out drinks.   
  


* * *

  
“So he was dead the whole time?” Thor asked. You grinned excitedly. “That’s a brilliant twist!”  
  
Loki was lying on his stomach, eyes closed. “Indeed.” He murmured quietly.  
  
“Should you go to bed Loki?” You asked hesitantly.  
  
“No.” He groaned, but his eyes stayed shut. “I’m wide awake.”  
  
You glanced at Thor. Thor stood up and tiptoed over to Loki before jumping and landing on his brother. “Come then brother! Let’s spar!”  
  
Loki groaned. “Get off me you oaf!”  
  
“You are too tired for simple magic Loki, you should sleep. (Y/n) can accompany you to bed.”  
  
Loki’s eyes shot open, as your face turned bright red. “what?” You said at the same time.  
  
Thor beamed at the two of you, far too innocently. “I merely suggested she help you to bed. It’s quite late. I think we should all sleep in fact.” Thor had gotten off Loki by now.  
  
After Thor got off the elevator, it was just you and Loki at Loki’s floor. He was leaning against the wall, clearly on the verge of sleep. “Loki, do you need help getting there?”  
  
“M’fine…” He muttered.  
  
“No you’re not. And I know it’s because you’re not sleeping.”  
Loki glared down at you, but clearly too tired to argue. “I can sleep on the reading chair, if I hear you having a nightmare, I’ll wake you up, ok?” He sighed and nodded slowly. It was a testament to his exhaustion that he wasn’t arguing. After he stumbled into his room, you dragged the chair over and curled up on it.  
  
Loki’s door was open a crack so you could see him after he collapsed fully clothed onto the bed. After hearing Loki’s breath slow and even out, you too drifted off to sleep.  
  


* * *

  
You woke to an angry vibrating sound. You blinked hard, trying to wake up.  
  
Loki’s hand reached towards you and you squeaked as it brushed your waist.  
  
“Fury?” Loki murmured quietly.  
  
“Loki? Why are you answering (Y/n)’s phone?” You could hear Director Fury’s voice through the phone.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “Does it matter?”  
  
“Yes it does. What did you do to her?”  
  
“Surprisingly enough, nothing. I appreciate your faith in me.” He growled irritably.  
  
You pushed Loki away and grabbed the phone. “Hey Director, sorry, I fell asleep reading. My phone must’ve fallen to the ground and I didn’t hear it.”  
  
There was a moment of silence as Fury tried to judge your voice. “Fine. I’m trusting you.” You rolled your eyes. “I have your next assignment.”  
  
“Where to?”  
  
“Mexico, just south of the border. Pack for warm weather. The jet will be there in three hours. Be ready.”  
  
“Yessir.” You hung up.  
  
Loki was smiling at you amused, there was a sparkle of mischief in his eye. “You made the most interesting noise when I answered your phone. Why was that?”  
  
You’d finally gotten better at hiding your blush. “I dreamt there was an angry goat walking towards me.” You smirked.  
  
Loki scowled at you before walking into his room and slamming the door behind him.  
You and Loki got ready and packed respectively, and with a quick good bye to Thor, you were off to whatever S.H.I.E.L.D. threw at you next.


	20. Chapter 20

When you got on the plane, you immediately sat down and went about making yourself a bed. Loki eyed you in amusement.  
  
“Agent what are you doing?” He asked.  
  
You pulled out a jacket from your bag and created a makeshift pillow. “I’m sleeping.” He stared at you silently. Finally you sighed and rolled your eyes. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”  
  
“Well I slept marvelously.” Loki smirked, then his face softened and you could hear the genuine sincerity. “Thank you.”  
  
 _‘Always for show. He has to maintain that facade, that strength.’_  
  
You waved him off, “Yea sure.” But you smiled back, every bit as sincere as him and warm as the summer day. You pulled the jacket over your head, “now shut up so I can sleep.”  
  
Then the arrogant smirk returned and he idly scanned the compartment. You closed your eyes, trying to fall asleep. After a moment, Loki’s gaze returned to you and he frowned.  
  
You felt something heavy and warm over you and peeked one eye open, startled by what you saw. Loki had gently rested his green cloak over you and was smiling tenderly, unaware that you were watching. You quickly closed your eye, trying to hide the pink that crept up your cheeks. Then Loki sat down on the floor beside the bench, his shoulder blades mere inches from your face. He tilted his head back and the tips of his soft hair briefly brushed your nose. The blush grew at the contact; you started to fear if you’d ever sleep now. The fears quickly subsided as you drifted off.  
  


* * *

  
You woke up as the jet started its descent.  
“Oh good, you’re awake.” Loki was standing now and removed his cloak from you.  
  
You yawned but felt well rested. “Thanks Loki.”  He tilted his head.  
  
“Coming in for landing.” The pilot called into his radio. You and Loki were dropped off and the quinjet disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.  
  
You and Loki had landed a short distance from a large town. The walk through the desert was annoying but nothing difficult. Even the weather wasn’t that bad, a little bit south of warm. Once you and Loki reached the outskirts of an older looking town, the two of you stopped to admire it. It was a bit larger than you initially assumed but didn’t begin to compete with the vastness of New York City.  
  
“It seems nice enough…” You muttered quietly. Loki shrugged. “Any idea what we’re looking for?” Loki shook his head.  Just as you were about to speak again, a screech of tires and a large truck sped to a halt in front of you, blocking your view of the town.  
  
Loki reached for a dagger as you grabbed your gun.  
  
“SHIELD agents-“ The truck’s driver listed off a series of numbers and you nodded, recognizing them as your own. “Get in, now.” He hissed. You’d never seen the man before, but he knew yours and Loki’s serial numbers. You pushed past Loki, grabbing his arm and dragging him in with you. The door slammed shut and you were quickly driving back into the desert.  
  
“Hey! Where are we going?” You demanded. “We’re supposed to be in that town.”  
  
“Not looking like that.” The guy muttered. “I’m taking you in a back route, my partner,” he lifted a radio up and spoke rapidly under his breath. You had a moment to study the driver, he had dark skin, dark hair, and deep bronze eyes. The man returned his attention to you, “she’ll get you two some clothes.”  
  
Loki’s face darkened and he scowled. “And these are not sufficient, why?”  
  
“You look like a medieval knight. Armour has been out of style for centuries, dumbass.” You muttered. Loki glared at you but fell silent.  
  
The man cut in. “And you look fresh out of a S.H.I.E.L.D. base.”  
  
You frowned, “It’s standard commission for…”  
  
“Not if you want to be low profile, miss.”  
  
Loki smirked at you as you sighed, “Fine. I’m (y/n) by the way, and that’s Loki.” Loki nodded at his name.  
  
The driver glanced between the two of you and smiled. “I’m Jeff. This back route will put us back in the city but we can sneak you inside so you can change. My partner, Angela, is getting you clothes, like I just said. She’s the best agent I’ve ever worked with since my initial training.”  
  
You looked at him confused. “So what were we called in for?”  
  
“She’s retired, decided to spend the rest of her days as close to field work as she could. Fury won’t let her work but that doesn’t stop her from trying. That’s really the main reason why I’m here, keep track of her. I’m too new, inexperienced for this mission,” he muttered annoyed but continued, “so you two got sent in. Angela is acting as my mentor.” You nodded as the truck rolled to a halt. “Loki, you’ll want to put this blanket over you. Hunch down like you’re sick. (Y/n), tie your jacket around your waist. I know S.H.I.E.L.D. standard means you won’t trust me, but leave all nonessentials in the truck. I’ll come back out and grab them in a less suspicious bag.”  
  
“Why do I have to look sick?” Loki looked confused, holding up a moth eaten old horse blanket.  
  
“To explain the blanket, hunch over so it hides your boots too.”  
  
Loki sighed but did as he was told. He got out of the vehicle, stumbling slightly; you caught him and let him lean heavily on your arm. Since you had only been wearing a tank top under your jacket, the blanket was scratchy against your bare skin. Jeff led you and Loki into the house through an old screen door. The whole exterior was worn and beaten down like it had been there for decades. You stepped inside and the hallway matched the decrepit exterior. Walking farther along, there was an equally worn sitting room and rarely used looking kitchen, Jeff ignored those and continued to the basement.  
  
“Here.” He stopped and pointed to a keypad on the door. “Serial code. It’s S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel only.”  
  
You hesitated, “You first.” He glanced at you before typing some numbers in. The door swung open revealing a very modern looking staircase; Jeff started walking and motioned you to follow. You turned a corner at the bottom and there was a small room with a table and a TV screen that vaguely reminded you of your first mission with Loki. Just beyond the screen was a doorway you couldn’t see into.  
  
“Your number there please.” Jeff pointed. You typed in the digits and looked up as the screen flickered to life. An image of Director Fury appeared on the screen.  
  
“Good.” Fury nodded, his voice coming through the TV. “Right on time.”  
  
“Pretty elaborate layout.” You said, peering around.  
  
“This is the outer room, you no doubt didn’t trust your contact here so this was necessary. Also, I like to make sure I know when my people get to their destinations especially when they’re involving such dangerous enemies.”  
  
“Sounds exciting.” Loki drawled, having dropped the blanket. He folded his arms and stared at Fury. You had a feeling Loki was still annoyed at Fury’s lack of trust. You hid your smile. “So what are we up against?”  
  
“Angela will fill you in.” Fury looked around.  
  
Jeff was the one who answered, “She’s getting them more suitable clothes. She’s rather annoyed…”  
  
“I’m pissed!” At the sound of heavy stomping coming down the stairs, you and Loki turned around. “Fury dammit, always sending kids in with their damn S.H.I.E.L.D. gear. They stick out like a turd in a punch bowl.” Loki’s eyes widened in shock at this unusual person; he glanced at you for some sign of how to react. You slowly shook your head, you were just as shocked as he was. The woman was roughly your height. She was stocky and well built, had wispy greying brunette hair and scars all over her face and exposed arms. She had a shotgun propped under her right arm and two bags in her left hand. Her right hand was horribly mangled but she moved with apparent ease.  
  
“This is Angela. You’re in good hands agent.” Loki raised an eyebrow. “And Loki.” Fury sighed. “Too old for this shit…” He muttered as the screen flickered off.  
  
“Well come on you two; always have to catch kids up to speed with these sorts of things.” Angela stomped into the other room past the blank screen.  
  
This room had a large table at the center, there were booth like seats spaced around the table, all the necessities of a kitchen and a series of doors leading into three separate rooms. Angela dumped the bags on the table, but carefully set her gun down. She turned to Jeff. “It’s been long enough, grab their bags.” Then she turned to you and Loki and grinned. “I’m Angela.”  
  
“Loki.” You pointed at Loki, “and I’m (Y/n).”  
  
“He don’t talk much, do ‘e?” Angela said with a grin. “Cute feller though, ain’t he?”  
  
Loki recoiled, “What?”  He asked as you snickered.  
  
“He just doesn’t like people.” You playfully hit his arm and Loki rolled his eyes.  
  
She beamed at the two of you, and then said. “Right then, well there’s the bathroom,” she pointed at one door, “the other two are bedrooms. You two will sleep together I take it.”  
  
 _“What?!”_  You and Loki yelled, startled. Your face burned bright red.  
  
Angela shrugged, “Only two beds, I s’pose I could sleep with you Loki.” She winked at him.  
  
Loki looked like he would be sick. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I’ll stay with (Y/n)…” He muttered.  
  
“Too bad.” You swore she winked at you. “So let’s see watch’ya got here.” Angela returned her attention to the bag, digging around as she spoke. “So I’d heard from Fury to expect ya, but I didn’ know exactly when. Luckily, Jeff over there was monitoring the radar so he could stop ya from makin’ too big ‘a ruckus.”  
  
Jeff walked back in, carrying your S.H.I.E.L.D. bags, he gingerly set them on the table and nodded. “We finally got the location of the base we need to infiltrate.” He pulled out a map and spread it out on the table. “We’re pretty low tech out here, unfortunately.”  
  
Angela shrugged. “Work with what ya got.”  
  
“So here is where we are.” Jeff pointed to a spot on the map. “We resourced this safe-house a couple years ago. You probably noticed this house is on the edge of the town.” You and Loki nodded. “While tracking people would make more sense to be in the center, we needed access to the outskirts in case supplies ever needed to be sent in. Now then,” He pointed at another spot. “This is the central location of several underground mines and farms…” He started listing numbers and statistics and you could feel yourself struggling to understand.  
  
Loki noticed your confusion and quietly muttered, “Our enemy seems to be shipping things away from a nearby facility. S.H.I.E.L.D. has finally pinpointed it and needs it destroyed. They’re relying on us for the job. However, just in case something isn’t ready quite yet, S.H.I.E.L.D. is trying to keep up appearances that our enemy is still in the clear.”  
  
You nodded slowly.  
  
Jeff fell silent, “So you two understand everything?”  
  
You and Loki nodded. “We’re good,” You answered.  
  
“Great then!” Angela yelled. “Let me show ya some cookin’ then. It’s late in the evenin’ right now, get up tomorrow ‘n the next few days’ll be spent learning the city. We don’ let anyone sleep in past the crowin’ of the cock.” Loki just stared at her, utterly perplexed.  
  
Jeff ignored Loki and continued. “We know the location of the base, but we’re hoping to make you two look like the rest of the civilian populace here. You’ll be able to drive closer to their base undetected, and able to salvage more intel and likely receive fewer injuries.”  
  
“Sounds good to me.” You folded your arms. After a moment of silence from Loki, you jabbed him in the ribs. He flinched, and then nodded his confirmation.  
  
“Jeff, you go fill up the chili pot. (Y/n), Loki, you two get changed into these clothes I gotcha.” Angela prodded the bags with her shotgun. “Hurry up, gonna teach you two a thing or two ‘bout cookin’.”  
  
You and Loki walked over to the bedroom, each inspecting the contents of your own bag. Your bag held jeans and a sunshine yellow shirt. You peeked into Loki’s bag, also jeans but with a blue shirt.  
  
Loki frowned. “I prefer green…” He muttered.  
  
“I’ve noticed.”  
  
He scowled at you but continued, “This is the first time we’ve  _stayed_  with someone from S.H.I.E.L.D., we’ve had contacts before, but…” he glanced back at Jeff who was holding a comically large pot of water that Angela was already dumping ingredients into.  
  
“But what? They’re S.H.I.E.L.D., if that’s what Fury says our assignment is, that’s what we do.”  
  
Loki cast you a cold glare. “I’m trying to make amends with Thor, I’m not some dog on a leash for your handler, Fury.” Loki hissed.  
  
“What? Are you still upset that I’m Fury’s favorite?” You retorted, your voice slightly louder than his.  
  
“I couldn’t care less what that scum thinks of me.” Loki shot back. “But if I think it helps my cause with Thor-“ Loki’s voice was growing louder too.  
  
“Then what? Just because Thor? You mean it’s only because of Thor that you’re not a colossal dick to me?” You were yelling now, angry. “You can be a real ass sometimes Loki.”  
  
“Well you’re not always pleasant yourself. Constantly pestering me, you won’t leave me alone for five minutes. Maybe you can’t leave me alone.” He sneered.  
  
“Excuse me for having a heart!”  
  
“A heart? What’s that have to do with anything?”  
  
“I care about people, and I thought you were one of them. When I care about people, I like to think… well I guess I hope really, that they care back. I see now that it’s only one sided. I’ll leave you to stew in your own misery then, see if I care!” You could feel angry tears burning at the corners of your eyes. You opened the door, stalked inside and slammed it shut behind you.  
You leaned against the bedroom door of the darkened room, using your fists to wipe away any traces of tears.  
  
“Fucking Loki…” You muttered under your breath. You clenched your teeth as you moved about changing your clothes. You and Loki arguing wasn’t uncommon on missions. It was probably Angela and her winking… You mentally scolded yourself. Angela somehow got into your head, forced that ‘hey, maybe Loki doesn’t hate me and we can maybe be friends or something’ thought into your mind.  
  
‘Such a fantasy, huh?’ You thought to yourself, ‘Where you think you’re friends with someone, but that’s just ridiculous, that wouldn’t happen.’ You mocked yourself inwardly.  
  
Loki was right, he was telling the truth surprisingly enough. Never once had he tried to be anything more than friends. It was always you reading into his actions and hoping to move past his cold exterior. Maybe it was time to call it quits, just be partners, like you were supposed to be.  
  


* * *

  
  
After the door had shut, Loki turned around to see Jeff and Angela staring at the two of you.  
  
“Is she ok…?” Jeff asked slowly.  
  
“You always such an ass to that sweet little thing?” Angela asked with a harsh nod of her head. She scooped up a spoon of chili and smacked her mouth, testing the taste. “Needs salt.” She bent over and scrounged around for ingredients.  
  
Loki sighed in exasperation, rolling his eyes, “I don’t know. We’re  _partners_  I don’t know what she wants.”  
  
“Could start by acting like you don’t hate her.” Jeff offered.  
  
Loki growled as he folded his arms, “And if I do actually hate her?”  
  
Jeff shrugged, “You could request a new partner?”  
  
“Not possible.” Loki muttered angrily.  
  
“Lie?”  
  
“Oh shut up you two. Neither of you kids hates each other.” Angela growled, stirring the pot.  
  
“Kids? Mortal, are you referring to my age?” Loki seemed genuinely perplexed.  
  
Angela blinked. “Mortal?” Loki nodded. “Well, ya look pretty young and yer actin’ like a bratty kid.” She pulled the spoon from the bowl and pointed it at the door. “Now go change, this is almost done.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes before entering the other room and shutting the door behind him. His armor he could magick on and off of himself, and a few other clothing he had enchanted over the years. These were not one such set.  
  
Once Loki had left the main room, you walked back out in your new clothing. “Evening you two, how can I help?” You said with a cheery smile. It wasn’t nearly as forced as you thought it would be.  
  
Soon Loki was back in the main room, dressed in his new clothing. You couldn’t stop yourself from snickering at his appearance, his sullen attitude made him seem almost comical. There was no more room at the table after Angela and Jeff sat down, so Loki was forced to sit beside you.  
  
You straightened your face. “Hey Loki.” You said somberly.  
  
“Hello.” He muttered. His eyes flickered to the bowls. With a sigh, he served himself and started eating away. Your good humour fell away and you found yourself eating as silently as him.  
  
Loki ate with one hand propping his head up while the other served himself spoonfuls of chili. He was murmuring faintly under his breath but you couldn’t catch what he was saying. Though, to be fair, you weren’t particularly in the mood to talk.  
  
“Damn! For such a skinny feller, how can you eat so much?” Angela asked as Loki took a third bowl.  
  
He looked up at her, startled from his reverie. “What?”  
  
“And what are you whispering?” Angela furrowed her brow, still studying Loki.  
  
Loki’s cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink. He coughed then mumbled, you only just managed to hear it.  
  
“Speak up, boy.” Angela commanded and you giggled.  
  
“Spells.” Loki muttered.  
  
“Spells, like magic, tricks?” Jeff asked. Loki’s eyes flashed when Jeff said ‘tricks’. “Magic isn’t real.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, “Not to the feeble minded it isn’t, no. And it’s certainly not just tricks; they’re illusions many of the time.”  
  
“What spell are you looking for? You’ve been sitting there nearly a half hour and nothing has happened.” You asked curiously.  
  
“It’s this shirt…” Loki mumbled. “It’s Thor’s colors.”  
  
“Thor? That cute Avenger feller? The blonde one? All muscly like?” Angela asked.  
  
Loki’s green eyes darkened. “Yes, the perfect golden child. His colors are red and blue.”  
  
You stopped realizing that, even though Thor had worn clothes other than his Asgardian ones, there was never green or gold. You thought about royalty and how some royal families would’ve claimed certain things as representative of them or their families. Asgard must have been no different with Loki in green and gold and Thor in blue and red. Loki’s green and gold was his colors, his own way of desperately remaining outside of Thor’s colossal shadow.  
  
You glanced down, the blue jeans were probably killing him but he seemed to be able to acknowledge that they were common for everyone.  
  
So Loki was sitting here, homesick for his beloved Asgard, stuck with some semi crazy aging S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, losing his preferred armor, and stuck in what must be one of the embodiments of Thor’s shadow. “And you don’t have a spell to change it…” you finished what you were thinking out loud.  
  
Loki looked over at you confused. “What?”  
  
“Do you have a needle and scissors?” You asked.  
Angela pointed at one of the drawers. You hopped out of your seat, grabbed the sewing supplies and returned to Loki’s side. You searched around the bottom of your shirt and found a loose thread. Pulling sharply you manage to unwind almost a solid foot of thread. You grinned and cut it before threading it into the needle.  
  
Loki and the two agents stared at you in silence as you bent over and grabbed the bottom of Loki’s shirt. You pulled away and smiled down at your handiwork. Loki looked down and could see a small, golden yellow patch over a faint hole on his shirt.  
  
“It’s not green, and it’s not the whole shirt, but yellow isn’t bad, right? And we can at least match then-“ You yelped as Loki crushed you against himself, burying his face into your shoulder.  
  
“Thank you (y/n).” His voice was muffled in your shirt.  
  
“Hey, it’s ok,” You said soothingly, patting his chilly arm and then stroking your hand through his soft raven feathered hair.  
  
You felt a faint vibration and Loki pulled away, he coughed to clear himself. “Yes…” He stood abruptly and walked into the bedroom letting the door swing shut behind him. He muttered one last thank you before the door latched completely.  
You couldn’t help but grin.  
  
“He really hates that Thor guy, huh?” Jeff asked.  
  
You shook your head, “Not really, it’s complicated, but ultimately they care about each other.”  
  
Angela nodded thoughtfully. “Well then.” She stood up, stacking plates as she moved, “Most exciting dinner we’ve had in a while, huh, Jeff?”  
  
Jeff nodded, “No kidding…”  
  
After everything was cleared, cleaned, and put away, Jeff and Angela went upstairs to check on the truck. They told you that you and Loki could decide where you would sleep, and they would figure out their beds based on those decisions.  
  
You tapped on the door Loki had disappeared into. “Hey Loki, sorry to bring this up but-“  
  
The door opened and Loki stood there looking down sheepishly. “I’m sorry about earlier, before supper. I shouldn’t have said those things.” He didn’t look up at you. “That mortal, Angela, she’s strange.”  
  
You shrugged. “She could say the same for you.”  
  
Loki cast you a rueful look. “I don’t hate you, not really. I certainly don’t like you by any means…” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms again. “But…” Loki said slowly and you found yourself smiling.  
 _That smile_  
  
“But…?” You prompted.  
  
“But I don’t really dislike you being friendly. It’s possible that I might not hate your desire to interact with me and it doesn’t actually cause me displeasure, not really anyways.”  
  
“You’re going to have to stop speaking in double negatives if you want me to understand.” You answer flatly, though you can feel a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.  
  
“Even though you are incredibly annoying,” You stuck your tongue out at Loki, he ignored you and continued. “I will grudgingly admit that I would be disappointed if you stopped spending time with me.”  
  
You smiled, “So does that mean you like me?”  
  
“I don’t  _dis_ like you…”  
  
“Yes or no.”  
  
“Fine, yes.”  
  
“So you like me?” You asked, positively beaming now. Loki clenched his teeth and nodded stiffly. You threw your arms around him, “I don’t dislike you either.”  
  
When you pulled away, Loki let out a relieved sigh. “We have another situation though…”  
  


* * *

  
You and Loki stood at the foot of the bed, it was very small though it could hold two people.   
Technically.  
  
“How are we splitting this up?”  
  
“You’re not drunk today, are you agent?”  
  
You glared at him but your face turned beet red. “Nope.” You said through grit teeth. “You remember that?” Loki snickered. You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. “One of us sleeps on top of the blankets?”  
  
Loki’s green cloak appeared, “I’ll sleep on top of the blankets, I suppose.”  
The two of you crawled onto your places in the bed.  
“Agent! Move over!” Loki hissed, “I’m falling off the bed.” There was a flurry of movement between the two of you. “Thank you.”  
  
“Loki.” You growled. “Now I’m falling out.”  
  
“Fine! I’ll just hold you.” Loki growled, grabbing your waist and tucking you up against him. You squeaked when his firm arm held you in place. “Better?” Loki asked through gritted teeth.  
  
“It could be worse…” You hissed back, though inwardly your mind was exploding in nerves and emotions. There were a few moments of silence. You finally managed to mask your emotions enough to choke out a very weak, “Good night Loki.”  
  
“Good night agent…” Loki muttered.


	21. Chapter 21

You woke up as a warm weight lifted from your side, and then the warm presence behind you leaving. Eyes scrunched shut, you curled deeper into the bed, not wanting to get up. After a moment, the events of last night crossed through your mind and you slowly opened your eyes. You heard the door open and almost immediately click shut as Loki left the room. With a deep sigh, you sat up and stretched; a small smile crept onto your face as you recalled the close proximity with which Loki had held you.  
  
Blushing, you quickly shook the thought away and hurried to prepare yourself for whatever Angela would throw at you.  
  


* * *

  
Loki leaned against the kitchen counter, arms folded as he silently mulled over the events of the previous night. He looked up as Angela exited her room.  
“Good mornin’!” She called stomping over to him. “You sleep well?”  
  
Loki shrugged. “You?”  
  
The door opened as Jeff walked out, gingerly rubbing his back and groaning. “You kick in your sleep…” Angela smirked. “We’re getting better sleeping arrangements next time we have people.”  
Loki raised an eyebrow in amusement.  
  
You strolled out of the bathroom, freshly showered. “So what’s up for today?” You asked with a yawn. Loki looked from you to Angela.  
  
Angela answered. “Hopefully nothin’. We’re gonna eat breakfast, drive ‘round the town some, maybe drop you two off’n hopefully just survey the area.”  
  
“’Hopefully’?” Loki repeated.  
  
Jeff nodded, spreading papers across the table as he spoke, “There’s a couple of guys we know to watch for. If we see them moving, we’ll know something is going on at their base and it’s time to act. If all stays as it has been, it’ll just be more surveillance.”  
  
“Sounds boring.” You muttered.  
  
“Usually is.” Angela replied.  
  
“Hey, boring is safe. I’ll take boring over getting killed any day.” Jeff shot back.  
  
The three of you turned to Loki. He shrugged, “If it makes Thor and (y/n) happy, I’ll do it.”  
You smiled at him. Loki didn’t look at you and you wondered if he saw.  
  
“Alrighty then, let’s get us some breakfast and we’ll be on our way.”  
  
  
  
You and Loki rode in the backseats of the truck, it was cramped and horribly uncomfortable. Jeff drove and Angela sat in the passenger seat, her shotgun barely hidden as she looked around warily.  
As he drove, Jeff and Angela took turns pointing out important places in the town. Most of the civilians walked hesitantly and were constantly casting furtive glances over their shoulders, like they were being watched.  
  
It was around midday when your small group had finished its tour through the city.  
  
  
  
“I think I have the general idea of this city’s layout.” You said, biting into your sandwich.  
You, Loki, Jeff, and Angela had stopped at a diner to eat lunch. Loki nodded in agreement.  
  
“After lunch, we’ll take a different route back to the house. Then tomorrow we can do more, uh,” Jeff paused, looking around for eavesdroppers, then continued, “sightseeing on foot.”  
  
Angela kept a constant watch of the diner but it was deserted save for you and the cashier.  
Deserted of anyone you could see, you silently amended, there was probably a cook in the kitchen and you wondered where the owner was during work hours.  
  
The four of you returned to the truck, traveling out a short ways into the desert.  
  
“If ya follow this road, it should take ya to their bunker. Got it?” Angela said.  
  
Jeff had parked the car on the side of the road. You strained to look out the window, it must be beyond the horizon because there was nothing to see but the barren desert.  
Loki was slumped back in his seat and nodded absently.  
“You ok?” You whispered quietly.  
  
“I don’t handle heat well…” Loki mumbled.  
  
You wanted to smile, make fun of him even, but his voice seemed like he was confiding a secret. You thought of his heat exhaustion and nodded. “Right.” You stopped, trying to think of something.  
  
“We can’t stay here too long, don’t want to draw attention to our truck.” Jeff said as he pulled the truck around. “Hopefully no one will think much of us just driving around today.”  
  
Angela frowned as she nodded. “All that work for nothin’ if they do.”  
  
The drive back to the safe-house was long and quiet.  
  
When the truck finally arrived on the road out front, everyone slowly crawled out, stiff after the day cramped in the car.  
  
Angela was the last to leave and you lingered a moment. “Hold up, (y/n).” She called, though kept her voice low.  
  
Loki and Jeff looked back when they saw you weren’t following.  
  
“You two go ahead, we’ll be right there.” You waved them off.  
  
Loki hesitated and then shrugged, what did he care? He didn’t hate you, but saying he liked you was still quite generous.  
 _Keep telling yourself that_  
Loki waved, motioning for Jeff to lead the way inside.  
  
  
You jogged back to the truck and waited to help Angela down.  
  
“What’s up?” You asked.  
  
“I think I know who we’re dealin’ with.” You raised an eyebrow. “Fury thinks I’m crazy fer it…” She hesitated.  
  
“I’ve seen a lot of crazy.” You said honestly, thinking of the Norse deity you had spent the last year with. Or alien really. Not to mention the ninety year old super soldier, soldiers, and Bruce Banner whose rage could turn him into a green monster.  
  
“I’ll bet you have.” She nodded thoughtfully. “I think it’s a Hydra sect. I know Fury cleaned up S.H.I.E.L.D. when it was remade and I know Hydra was an agency from the ‘40’s, but somethin’ about this...” She trailed off.  
  
You tilted your head thoughtfully, absently wondering about where Bucky had been held. “I could see Hydra still existing,” you said slowly, “but here?”  
  
She nodded. “It’s a long shot, I know, but call it a hunch. I’ve been with S.H.I.E.L.D. for nearly half a century. I’ve seen a lotta things, watched a lotta people come ‘n go, known some of the best people and some of the worst. I just…” She hesitated, suddenly looking sad and old, “something don’t seem right. You have to believe me, please.”  
  
You bit your lip. “Ok.” You didn’t know if you actually believed her, but you would keep an open mind. You had a feeling she knew what you were thinking.  
  
She studied you and after a long silence she finally nodded. Her gaze turned to the blue grey sky, growing darker by the second as the sun sank lower. “That Loki feller seems nice enough. Anything between you two?”  
  
You choked in shock and had to cough to clear your throat. Finally you managed to breathe again and laughed. “That’s hilarious. No, we’re just partners on the best of days.”  
  
She nodded slowly but seemed doubtful. “Well, he at least has your back as an agent, right? You’re a good kid-“  
  
“I’m not really that young.” You muttered, interrupting her.  
  
“Not as old as me, but point taken.” She offered you a crooked smile. “C’mon, let’s go get us some dinner.”  
  
  
  
After dinner, you and Loki stood once more in the bedroom, ready to sleep.  
Loki groaned, “Surely there’s another way to go about this.”  
  
“Well I don’t like you either.” You scowled, arms crossed. Loki shot you an annoyed look. “Just shut up and get in bed.”  
 _’What, never shared a bed before?’_  You thought angrily. You wanted to say it too, but you realized that you didn’t want to think about the answer. In fact, you knew it already but, for whatever reason, the thought still bothered you. You tried to convince yourself it wasn’t jealousy, but couldn’t prevent the thought from lingering.  
  
Loki sighed, motioning for you to crawl under the covers before he collapsed on top, covering himself with his cloak.  
  
The two of you lay in silence for a moment.  
  
“Hey Loki?” You whispered quietly.  
  
“Yes agent?” Loki muttered back, his voice tired.  
  
“How come you’re being such a gentleman about this? It’d be really easy to just shove me off this bed if you wanted.”  
  
“Don’t give me ideas.” He mumbled into his pillow, clearly falling asleep.  
  
“I’m serious.”  
  
“I know how to be civil, agent, just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I will act on it.”  
  
You nodded in the darkness. You pushed further away from the edge, effectively curling into him.  
“I thought you said you liked me.” You mumbled.  
  
“I said I don’t dislike you. There’s a difference.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
You both fell silent.  
More time passed.  
  
“Loki?”  
  
“WHAT?” He sat up exasperated.  
  
“Why don’t you like me?” You moved further into the center of the bed; Loki sitting up had made more space for you.  
  
“I- what?” He asked confused.  
  
“Did I do something? I’m sorry if I did…” Again you trailed off quietly.  
  
Loki covered his face with his hand, breathing out deeply. Finally he brushed his hand along his scalp, smoothing his hair. “I don’t know.” You could feel his green eyes boring down on you in the darkness. You sat up and stared at him, his irises seemed to glow dimly.  
You tried to study him, but you could only just make out his dim outline in the darkness.  
  
“Sorry, I’ll stop bothering you.” You said after another long silence.  
  
You heard Loki’s rueful chuckle. “Let’s just sleep, I’m sure we can ponder my myriad of problems another time.”  
  
You could hear the smile in his voice and you found yourself smiling too. “Well, like I said, I promise I’m here if you need me.”  
  
Loki patted the top of your head. “Go to sleep agent.”  
  
You smirked and stuck your tongue out at him.  
  
Loki lay back down on the side of the bed, this time you hugged him close against you. “You might see the worst in everyone, but I’m determined to find the best, especially in you.”  
You felt Loki stiffen at the contact. Or was it your words?  
  
Loki hesitated, then quietly said, “Yes, well, as the mortals say ‘sleep tight’.”  
  
“Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” You finished with a yawn.  
  
Loki’s eyes shot open and he sat up, nearly knocking you off the bed.  
“Bugs?” He looked around urgently.  
  
“No! It’s just the expression!” You spoke quickly, “sleep tight, don’t let the… never mind.”  
  
Loki laid back down. “Humans are so strange.” The two of you were on your backs, your shoulder rested against the cold skin of his, and if neither of you moved, there was enough room to just lie there.  
  
“So are Asgardians.”  
  
Loki shrugged. “Fair enough.” He was silent for a moment. “Good night (y/n).”  
  
“Good night Loki.”  
  
  


* * *

  
  
The next week passed in much the same way. You and Loki would survey the town, looking for signs of suspicious activity. Sometimes you would travel with Jeff or Angela and Loki would be with the other but for the most part, everything stayed quiet.  
  
You and Loki rarely spoke after dinner, instead preferring to just collapse onto the bed and fall asleep instantly.  
  
A week and a half into the mission and you found your small group sitting at the table eating breakfast.  
  
“You and Loki will be in the northwest segment today. Jeff and I got a message from S.H.I.E.L.D. to check out building 15.” Angela gestured in the direction of the map; it currently lay on the counter. The map had each building marked by numbers; the reasoning behind the code remained a mystery to you.  
  
Loki shifted in his seat uneasily. You shot him a curious look but he remained silently, only briefly shaking his head at you.  
  
"Also, nice catch yesterday, knowing about their missile systems will be helpful when we finally do strike." Jeff nodded at you. You beamed, pleased with his response.  
  
"C'mon, you lot, let's go." Angela pushed away from the table and stood up, leading the way upstairs.  
  


* * *

  
  
Jeff dropped you and Loki off at the curb before quickly driving off.  
  
“What’s up?” You asked, finally breaking the silence.  
  
“They got a message from S.H.I.E.L.D. but we did not.”  
  
You shrugged, “So? She’s our superior here.”  
  
Loki scowled. “I’m agreeing to work with mortals but I don’t answer to them. I expect to be informed.”   
  
You sighed. Though he did have a point you realized. “Alright, fine, that’s fair. But what can we do?”  
  
Loki was about to reply when his eyes widened. “Damn.” He hissed. His hand shot out and grabbed your shoulder, preventing you from turning.  
  
Months of working with Loki, learning his different mannerisms and understanding the way he worked, crossed through your mind. “What is it?” You breathed, desperately wanting to turn.  
  
“It’s the two guys we’ve been watching for.”  
  
 _A memory of Natasha training you in stealth flashed in your mind: ‘Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.’ The redheaded assassin had said to you. Clint stood behind her, grinning and nodding._  
  
“Kiss me.” You hissed. Loki didn’t move, simply staring at you in shock. “Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.” You recited.  
  
“What?”  
  
You grabbed Loki’s face with your hands and angled him towards you. Spinning and pulling Loki back, you felt your back hit the wall of the building you had been standing beside. As you moved, you managed to sneak a look past Loki.  
  
Sure enough, the two agents you had been on constant vigilance for were crossing the street.  
  
Then your focus returned to Loki and you felt his soft lips pressed against yours. Loki’s hand slid down your side and rested on your waist.  
Everything around you disappeared and you felt your senses overwhelmed by Loki’s intoxicating presence. His cold lips meshed against yours and the feeling of his feather soft hair brushing against your face. Your eyes started to shut and-  
  
Loki pulled away from you, breathing hard. His cheeks were pink and you knew your face was bright red. Loki shook his head like he was trying to clear himself, “What. The. Hel?” He asked through gritted teeth.  
  
You blinked hard. You couldn’t read his expression but his eyes were dark. You searched for a response, “I… uh-“ the sound of explosions and screaming cut you off.  
  
Loki spun around. “Come on.” He growled, grabbing your hand and dragging you with him. There were more explosions and you and Loki took off in a dead sprint.  
  
“That’s where building 15 is!” You yelled.  
  
Something fell from the sky, followed by another explosion and the building beside you erupted into flames.  
  
“Agent!” Loki called, grabbing you and holding you close to shelter you from the falling debris. Both of you kept running, bent over to protect your faces.  
  
“Loki, there!”  
  
A group of masked and armed men stood outside building 15, you could see Jeff’s truck parked out and to the side.  
  
Flames roared from the windows of the building, some even snaked out the front door. Then, with a deafening crash, building 15 collapsed in on itself.  
  
Jeff stood out front, hands in the air and surrounded; he seemed to be talking to them.  
  
“My weapons are in the car.” You said to Loki, your voice low.  
  
Loki gripped your arm tight and after a second, the two of you appeared next to the truck. You crawled in, quickly rearming yourself and pulling your jacket on. It was slightly armoured, small blows to your torso wouldn’t feel as painful – and it would slow down bullets in a worst case scenario. You glanced behind you and saw Loki was already back in his leather and metal armour.  
  
“I got you the codes! You’re supposed to let me go!” You crouched down behind the truck as you heard Jeff shout.  
  
“He’s a traitor, that sniveling rat.” Loki growled under his breath. He knelt down beside you, propping himself up with the scepter.  
  
“Sorry kid, you’re a liability.” One of the men spoke to Jeff. “Where are the other two that have been with you? I’m sure they’re agents, yea?”  
  
Jeff’s mouth dropped open. “They’re somewhere else in the city.” He paused, then angrily yelled. “See? I helped you again, give me what I’m due!”  
  
The man shook his head, his shoulders slumped sadly. Without hesitating, one of the others pulled their gun out and shot; Jeff collapsed to the ground instantly, blood slowly pooling out.  
  
“No!” You yelled, standing up and shooting with your dual pistols.  
  
“Served him right.” Loki muttered, but he copied your actions.  
  
The rest of the group was quickly dispatched by your bullets and waves of energy from Loki’s scepter.  
  
You ran over to where Jeff lay face down. Scanning the wreckage, you silently pleaded that Angela had gotten away.  
  
Loki walked over to you. “Agent.” He said slowly, “(y/n).” Loki murmured and you looked over, “We have to go. We don’t know how much more damage they’ll do if that bunker isn’t destroyed.” As if accenting his point, another missile arced across the sky.  
  
Your eyes searched the wreckage again until you noticed a pink cloth waving gently in the breeze. Your breath caught in your throat as you recognized the same material as the shirt Angela had worn that morning. “I have to know.” You whispered before carefully stumbling over the debris.  
  
Loki stayed where he was, looking down the streets but occasionally glancing back to make sure you were fine.  
  
At the sound of your footsteps, Loki turned around.  
  
“Let’s go.” You muttered quietly before crawling into the truck. Loki followed silently as you started driving to the base. Your eyes were dry. “C’mon Loki, we have shit to avenge.”


	22. Chapter 22

You drove in silence for a while. “We only knew her for a week, I get that…” You said, mostly to yourself. “But she didn’t deserve to die, not like that, especially not because of some asshole that she was mentoring.” Loki nodded silently. You hit the steering wheel and cursed a few times.  
  
Loki stared out the window, absently twirling his scepter in his hand. “Jeff gave them codes.” He murmured.  
  
You glanced over at him then returned your attention to the road; you were already a fair distance from the town. “We’ll have to see if there’s any intel to salvage, computer systems to check. Not sure what the codes are.” Out of nowhere, you found yourself screaming. “I’ll fucking kill the lot of them!” Every mistake you had made, every person you had failed, problem you caused, all of it, came flooding through your mind; you gripped the wheel until your knuckles turned white.  
  
Loki shot a look at you. “That’s not our mission.”  
  
“Fuck the mission.” You spat. “Since when do you care about following orders?” You glared at him.  
  
“Since I know that our assignment can be completed with two people. If you’re planning a frontal assault – which I can see it in your eyes that is your plan – with the resources they have, it won’t work.” Loki’s voice was level.  
  
“We owe it to her, she shouldn’t have died like that.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “Mortals…” He muttered, like he might say more.  
  
You slammed on the breaks, Loki lurched forward in his seat, the belt barely catching him and preventing him from hitting the dashboard.  
  
“I’m talking about avenging her. Her death shouldn’t be in vain. Now I have enough explosives in here to topple a fortress, that’s what I’m going to do.”  
  
Loki glared at you. “If you’re talking about vengeance, believe me I know.”  
  
“Do you? Really? You’re willing to just sneak in, dispatch a few, sneak out, and then hope that more people show up later and fix this. What type of vengeance is that?”  
  
“I’m saying you’re not thinking rationally.” Loki growled. “You’re going to set all your weapons to go off after it hits the building and then what? You’re. Not. Thinking.” He emphasized each word.  
  
You and Loki glared at each other. Loki silently studied you, trying to gage a reaction. For several long moments, neither of you broke eye contact; each of you fiercely stared the other down.  
Then finally you muttered, “Fine.” You looked away. Loki seemed to relax. “I’m sorry it has to come to this.” He stiffened as you reached for your belt and pulled out a small tablet.   
  
“Agent?” He eyed it uncertainly. You frowned and flicked it. In the air, it vaporized into a small cloud and blew into Loki’s face. He recoiled. “What is…?” He trailed off.  
  
“Sorry Loki.” He stared at you, confused, as his limbs and then body grew heavy. “Tony and Bruce have been working on emergency tranquilizers for the Hulk. It’s not strong enough to work on him yet, but it’s probably enough for an Asgardian.”  
  
Loki looked at you even more confused, this time you saw a hint of betrayal in his eyes. “You’re… same…” He managed to mumble.  
  
“Fury must have sent them to Jeff and Angela. I didn’t think Fury knew about those experiments. He’d definitely want a way to be able to safely neutralize any member of the Avengers if it became necessary.” Your resolve wavered as you spoke. Future implications of your actions started to cross your mind but you ignored them, you were too hell-bent on revenge for that matter now.  
  
“You… have… why?” Loki was speaking with great difficulty and you could see his vision clouding over.  
  
“It was in one of my weapons’ pockets, I didn’t put it there. Fury must’ve just in case. I’m so sorry, we can fix this later, ok? But I can’t let you stop me.” You reached your hand towards him, allowing your fingers to brush across his smooth cheek. Loki’s eyes closed and he finally slumped over. You bit your lip before leaning over and opening the door. You shoved him out where he landed on the ground in a heap. You tossed an old blanket over him, before driving off, once more set on your mission for revenge. As you got nearer and nearer to the base, your resolve strengthened.  
  
About 100 meters from the base, you jumped out, rolling to a stop on the side of the road. The truck continued on at full speed. You watched as it crashed through the front gates and when it collided with the building, you detonated the explosives.  
  
The whole ground shook, even out to where you were, and the plume of smoke rose high into the sky. Then you were running forward, scaling the remnants of the fence and taking out every agent you saw. You hit the ground and rolled forward, never slowing in your advance as you became a flurry of knives and bullets; dozens fell around you as you moved your assault inside.  
  
You lost track of how much time passed but you found yourself alone and walking through a large corridor. The building seemed vacant and you slowed down, stopping to look around warily and catch your breath. Finally certain that no one was around, you bent over, breathing heavily as your mind cleared from your rage induced haze. “Computer… right…” You murmured slowly, breathing heavily. A mixture of unease swirled around you, that age old ‘too easy’ feeling lay heavily in your gut. At the same time, your own arrogance at proving Loki wrong started to take hold.  
  
Loki.  
  
‘Shit…’ You stood up, trying to muster the explanation that would soon be required.  
  
“Hands up.” You felt a cold trickle of fear go down your spine as the barrel of a gun pressed into the back of your head.  
“You’re surrounded.”  
  
Slowly raising your hands into the air, you gulped as the shadows around you came alive with the sounds of dozens of heavily armed soldiers approaching you.  
  
“One lady did this all by herself?” One of the men said incredulously.  
  
A woman walked forward, her hair pulled into a tight black bun. She smirked down at you. “Your soldiers aren’t nearly as impressive as I was led to believe.” The man scowled at her, but she continued. “No matter. I’ve been disappointed before.” She scanned the room as though searching for someone with you. “You really are alone?” Her statement sounded more like a question and she let out a small laugh. “Then again,” she lifted a computer tablet up that showed a picture of you walking with Loki. “Who’s this?”  
  
“He’s not here with me.” You muttered.  
The woman glanced at the man she had previously been talking to. He pulled his assault rifle and hit you in the stomach.  
You coughed and bent forward, reeling from the blow.  
  
“Now then, who is this?”  
  
“My partner.” You said honestly. She nodded thoughtfully. “Ex-partner, we parted ways recently.”  
  
She studied you dubiously while you eyed the man’s gun. “Our informant said you worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.”  
  
“Did he now?” You smiled. The person still holding their gun to your head shoved the barrel into your skull. You grimaced.  
  
“Lock her up. We can talk later.” The woman pointed at various people signaling different commands. “You made quite the mess, several of our men died today.” You let out a short laugh to which she frowned reproachfully. “After we’ve talked some, I’ll leave some of my more affected officers to keep you company.” She paused as her frown deepened. “I hardly imagine that will be pleasant. You know how upset people can get.” Her voice lowered and her eyes darkened. “It can be awfully lonely for people out here.”  
  
An ominous shiver went down your back and you felt nauseous. She nodded again and two men grabbed your arms, leading you to a room. They lifted you up and threw you onto the ground before slamming the door shut and walking away.  
  
For the first time in ages, you felt very small and very alone.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up for some graphic violence

You leaned against the wall, knees pressed to your chest and thinking frantically. You weren’t sure how long you had until those guards came back. They would definitely torture you for information. You gulped at the thought and could feel cold sweat beading on your forehead. You shook the thought away and forced yourself to plan.  
  
Loki was undoubtedly furious, he hated humans and you had just betrayed him. You confirmed his hatred; he’s not coming back.  
  
‘He might go back to the tower and say I died…’ You thought sadly. Thor might be upset, but given your parting circumstances, Loki’s anger was justified. You bit your lip, mentally kicking yourself; Loki had been right, he truly was a tactician and you let your anger cloud your judgment. For a moment you allowed yourself some despair, thinking about how nice things had been. Just earlier that day, you and Loki had kissed. You smiled at the memory. Sure it had been as a means of distraction only, but his lips against yours had felt so nice.  
  
You shook your head again, now’s not the time. You’re on your own. Your weapons had already been confiscated, all of them (or destroyed in the initial explosion). ‘Just going to have to fight tooth and nail every step of the way.’  
  
Hours must have passed, for you slowly found yourself dozing. You didn’t know the time and fatigue started to set in. The cell door clanged open and you looked up, awake instantly. A brown haired man stood in the doorway glaring down at you. He grinned wickedly.  
  
“Hey bitch.” He spat. He walked forward until he was inches away from you. “I get you first. You killed three of my closest friends back in that town. I’m really going to enjoy myself-“ he yelped as you jumped to your feet, kneeing him in the crotch in the same swift movement. You shoved past him and took off through the door, only to be halted by two heavily armed guards. They wore masks so you couldn’t see their expressions.  
  
“You bitch!” The man screamed from the room. “I’m gonna fuckin’ tear you-“ the man’s voice faded off in a trail of expletives as the guards led you away. You scanned frantically in every direction, searching for a way out, but you saw nothing. Realizing that escape was futile for now, you opted to memorize the route you took, hoping that might be of use.  
  
Finally, you arrived at a nondescript door and it opened, revealing a chair and an otherwise empty room. The guards on either side of you shoved you onto the chair before restraining your arms and legs. You tried to steady your breathing, which had grown shaky in fear, but it wasn’t working well.  
  
After ensuring the restraints were secure, the two guards left. You examined the empty room, no exits save for the undoubtedly locked door.  
  
At least another hour passed before anything happened. You realized part of their torture was the psychological worry of what they would do. Then the door swung open and the woman with the black bun from yesterday entered. She wore white gloves and was flanked by two more guards pushing a tray full of various instruments. All of them looked sharp and painful. There were even a few needles filled with strange colored liquids and tools that you’d not seen before.  
  
The woman noticed your look of unease and she nodded somberly. “It’s unfortunate, really, what I’m about to do to you. I don’t get that much satisfaction out of it.” She offered you a quick cold smirk. “But you did bring this upon yourself.” She shook her head. “We’ve had people stationed all over, it seems you were honest when you said your partner wasn’t coming.”  
  
You felt your heart drop.  
  
Then you nodded and managed a weak smile, never taking your eyes from the tray. “Of course I’m honest.”  
  
She nodded thoughtfully. “Well, I don’t want to damage your face too much. But I’m sure you won’t miss one or two teeth.”  
  
“I do have friends you know.”  
  
She nodded. “You work for S.H.I.E.L.D., we’re aware. We’re also aware that no one knows where you’re at. By the time anyone finds out, it’ll be far too late for you.” You nodded slowly. “Not that we intend to kill you by any means. There are plenty of other uses that we can get out of you.”  
  
You closed your eyes, breathing in deeply then exhaling slowly.  Then you reopened your eyes and spoke evenly, “Alright bitch, have at it.”  
  
She reached down for one of the tools, it looked lethally sharp; then she was across the room and you felt the sharp instrument plunge into your side. You let out a high pitched shriek as blood started to run. She twisted the tool calmly before removing it.  
“Who do you work for?” She asked calmly.  
  
“You already know!” You gasped out.  
  
She used the tool again. “It’s a baseline for your cooperation.”  
  
“S.H.I.E.L.D., you bitch.” You snarled at her.  
  
She slapped you with the back of her hand and your head snapped to the side. “Who was the man you were working with?” Her voice was still calm.  
  
“Your cheating boyfriend.” You spat.  
  
The tool sank into your skin as she blinked calmly. “Who was the man you were working with?” She repeated.  
  
“Bite me.” Your response turned into another shriek of pain.  
  
“I said-“ she spun around. “What was that?” She snapped at one of the guards.  
  
“What?” He asked.  
  
“Check your radio.”  
  
The guard reached to his waist, unclipping his radio and bringing it to his mouth. “Status report.” There was only static on the line. “Status report, alpha team, repeat, status report.” Only static.  
  
“Both of you, go check.” The black haired woman commanded as she reached for the handgun at her waist. She motioned them to leave. As they left the room, she shot a glance at you, but you looked just as uncertain, though held firmly by the restraints.  
  
Muffled noises came from the hallway followed by an eerie silence. You and the black haired woman exchanged silent looks of worry. Then the door swung open.  
  
“What was that?” The woman’s voice was cut off as she registered a man in the doorway. He towered over her in his leather and metal armour, shoulder length black hair and green eyes blazing.  
  
Loki.  
  
He stalked into the room and looked around. The woman aimed her gun, firing a full clip at him. The bullets bounced off uselessly and fell to the ground. Loki’s hand shot out and grasped her throat.  
  
“Where is she, you mewling quim?” Loki snarled, his voice dripping venom. He looked over and recognized you in the chair, for the briefest second his face softened in relief; then he registered the bloody wounds on you and his fury returned.  
  
The woman sputtered for breath as Loki’s grip tightened, thrusting her into the wall. Her eyes widened in terror as she registered the animalistic rage etched in Loki’s features. A dark green glow surrounded Loki’s free hand. The glow reached forward, seamlessly passing through her chest until his hand curled around her spine. With a crunching jerk, Loki pulled away, the woman’s back snapping. Blood trickled out of her mouth and she slid to the ground moving no more.  
Loki glared down at her, his eyes black and shaking in fury.  
  
“Loki?” You croaked hesitantly, voice weak from screaming and slightly fearful at seeing Loki’s rage.  
  
Loki rushed over to you carefully undoing the restraints. “It’s ok, I’m here.” He murmured soothingly.  
  
You nodded and felt hot tears burning in the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill. “Loki, I’m so sorry. You were right, I should have listened.”  
  
“There’s time for that later.” Loki whispered, pulling you to your feet. “Can you stand?”  
  
Your legs shook with the effort and you choked back a sob. “I think so.” You took a few steps, they were unsteady but you could walk. Loki lifted your arm over his shoulder, supporting you and helping you to the door and into the hallway. Through a combination of leading, carrying, and dragging, you and Loki moved through the labyrinth of halls. “I’m so sorry,” you murmured through tears. “You were right, I should have listened,” Loki simply grunted at those words. “And then even worse with the powder.”  
  
“The powder is the damned director’s doing.” Loki growled, staring ahead determinedly.  
You nodded. Loki looked back and forth down a hallway intersection before picking a direction and hurrying you along.  
  
“Is this the right way?” You whispered.  
  
“To their computers, yes.”  
  
You managed a small smile. “Thank you. You came back for me.”  
  
Loki glanced down at you, but everything about him was cold. Even his body felt chilly against you.  
As you approached a door at the end of the hall, the door opened up and several armed guards stepped out with guns drawn. They opened fire and Loki turned, most of the bullets ricocheting off harmlessly. Though not all of them. Suddenly you felt a burning sensation in your leg and you looked down. A shrapnel of bullet dug deep into the skin. You yelped before collapsing to the ground. Loki threw several daggers, each finding their respective targets with deadly precision. Loki helped you inside before barricading the door.  
  
You collapsed into a seat and set to work disabling programs and repeating the virus Tony had taught you.  
  
“Finished.” You stated, looking up at Loki. For the first time since he arrived, you were able to inspect him closely. He looked exhausted, some of his armour was burned and had tears in it and he even had a few cuts on his face.  
“I’m so sorry Loki, I should never have…” You trailed off. “I promised you and I let my own anger forget that.” You shook your head then looked down at the floor sadly.  
  
You raised your head up to steal a look at Loki, trying to read his expression. His face was a mask as he glared down at you. You could make out some of the anger etched in his face but there was something else you couldn’t read.  
  
He shook his head shortly. “You’re a wretched mortal and I’m furious.” The words stung, but you nodded; there was no denying their truth. “However.” You looked up, a flicker of hope crossing your mind. “We are partners and for whatever that’s worth,” Loki sighed heavily, “I don’t hate you completely.”  
  
You jumped up and hugged him as tight as you could, tears now falling freely. “Thank you. I am so sorry. I’ll make it up to you. You’re still my partner, even if I made an ass of myself.” The coldness from before seemed gone as you pressed yourself against his chest.  
  
Loki glared down at you, but allowed your arms to remain wrapped around his torso. He scowled, “Alright, that’s enough. I can still easily snap your neck from here.” He muttered, though a ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.  
  
You looked up at him and managed a teary smile. Then you pulled away, wiping the tears so there was no traces of them left. You straightened yourself out, ready to continue the mission and nodded, “You lead, I follow.”


	24. Chapter 24

Loki nodded, “Good. Now, I’ve managed a diversion, but they’ll probably catch on soon.” He rushed out of the room, grabbing your arm and dragging you with him. After a moment he let go and you hurried to keep up.  
  
The two of you ran back through the halls until finding an exit to the outside. Loki ran a few more steps before realizing you weren’t next to him. He looked back and saw you leaning against the wall.  
  
“Agent!” He hurried back towards you. You were breathing hard, holding your hand to the jagged cut at your side and favouring one leg. “(Y/n)?” Loki asked.  
  
You opened your eyes, still trying to slow your breathing. “Nothing, I’m good. Let’s go.” You panted.  
  
Loki found himself smirking at you, “Alright, lead the way.”  
  
You glared at him before bracing yourself. You breathed in deeply and stepped away from the wall. Suddenly the world shifted around you and you watched the ground approach in slow motion.  
You grit your teeth, unable to block your fall with your hands; you were too weak.  
  
You closed your eyes as you made impact, but suddenly you stopped. You looked around and realized Loki had caught you. He was supporting you easily in his arms.  
“You were saying?” He asked. Was that a flicker of amusement in his eyes? He seemed less upset now that you were outside and moving away from the building.  
  
You glared at him, though you were feeling fainter by the second. “Shut… shut up… Loki.” You managed to breathe out.  
  
Loki’s eyes softened as he realized how weak you were. “Agent?” He gently shook you. “(Y/n)?” Loki seemed actually worried now. “You need a healer.”  
  
Your eyes fluttered open. “I don’t want to wake up… in a damned hospital.” You managed to growl, breathing heavily between each word. You tried pushing away from him as you spoke.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, but was pleased to see you responding. “Well if you stay awake, I won’t have to take you to one.”  
  
You nodded. “Good.” Your eyes shut and you slumped over, completely unconscious.  
  
Loki cursed loudly. “Wake up agent!” He shook you none too gently. You didn’t respond.  
Loki closed his eyes as he thought. There had been a garage nearby… with vehicles.  
  
Loki lifted you over his shoulder as he started walking in the direction of the garage. He chose the nearest car, a jeep, and tossed you into the passenger seat. After a moment of hesitation he checked you over. The bullet shot in your leg was bad, but not fatal. There were a few other wounds that were bleeding but nothing too concerning – in comparison to injuries he had seen inflicted on you before. His hands trailed along you gently, looking for something – there!  
  
Loki knelt down and examined a particularly deep cut in your side. A soft green glow surrounded his hand as he gently waved it over your abdomen. The skin pulled and stretched, trying to sew itself back together. You hissed but didn’t wake up. Loki’s eyes flickered up to your face in concern.  
  
He furrowed his brow as he thought. He could heal surface injuries well enough, and lessen the severity of others; this one seemed bad. He looked down at his communication device and sighed. Of course it had been damaged. Probably one of the many bullets that had been aimed at you and him. Your device was clearly unavailable, he hadn’t even been able to salvage your weapons.  
There was a reason he’d gone to the garage… The thought passed through Loki’s mind uncomfortably.  
  
“How hard is it to drive a Midgardian contraption…? The automobile?” He murmured out loud.  
  
By some miracle, the keys were on the dashboard. Loki closed his eyes, trying to picture other mortals driving. He picked up the sole key and held it to the steering wheel.  
‘It has to go in something…’ As he was about to start fiddling with the key, he recalled you tying him into the seat with some contraption. Loki couldn’t find the contraption so he opted to cast a spell, binding you against the seat. When you looked secure, he returned his attention to the car.  
Beside the wheel was a hole of similar shape to the key, Loki noticed as he bent over it. With a sense of optimism, Loki put the key in and was pleased to find it fit.  
  
He grinned and looked over at you. Then he scowled at your unconscious figure, realizing that you had missed his genius.  
  
Now what. There should be a noise. Loki pictured driving again. Hesitantly, he turned the key. After a few tries of leaving the key turned too long, he finally managed to get the engine running and maintaining a slow, steady rumble.  
  
Loki grinned again before looking at you. He glared when he saw you were still passed out. “I bet Thor couldn’t even turn one of these on without help.” Loki muttered, smirking in pride.  
  
The bleeding on your side had stopped for now, but he knew the slightest movement would reopen it.  
Loki put his hands on the steering wheel, as he had seen others do, and stared ahead. He turned the wheel but nothing happened.  
Finally he looked down at the gear box and saw the column of letters. P, R, N, D, L… It was currently in “P”. Loki heard the sound of the engine change as he switched from "P" to "R", but still there was no movement. He looked at the ground where his feet were and saw some pedals. He hesitantly pressed one with his foot and nothing happened. Angrily he stomped down on the other.  
  
The sudden release of gas shot the car in reverse and Loki’s head smacked the steering wheel. He heard glass shattering behind him but ignored it. Loki groaned, rubbing his forehead, and mentally cursing vehicles and everyone related to them, to the farthest ends of the universe.  
  
The “N” did nothing.  
  
Loki hesitantly set the gear shift to “D” before gently pressing the first pedal (nothing again) and then the second. The jeep pulled forward slowly. Loki looked out the back window and grimaced, realizing that the shattering had been caused by his initial impact with the garage wall.  
  
Loki managed to get the car moving, along with most everything else he drove into. As the car continued rolling forward, Loki smiled, pleased with his work. Glancing up, Loki realized the mirror was for looking out the currently non-existent back window. The mirrors on the sides seemed for similar purposes but he ignored those as well, he didn’t care what was behind him, he only had to go forward.  
  
Loki slowly pressed the pedal all the way to the floor and the jeep took off at a marvelous speed. It could easily maintain the gait of the fastest Asgardian horses.  
There was a road nearby that Loki started driving on, hopefully this one would lead to a town large enough for a healing center.  
  
Around fifteen minute passed and Loki found himself on the edge of a moderate sized town. The little arrow inside the dash was pointed at “95”.  
Loki’s face darkened with a frown as it occurred to him that he didn’t know how to stop. The car was moving fast. Really fast.  
He lifted his foot off the gas pedal but the car didn’t seem to slow at all.  
  
“Stop.” Loki commanded, looking around nervously. Unsurprisingly, the car ignored him.  
Loki could see the cars in the city nearby, and at the rate he was driving, he would have mere seconds before the car joined the traffic or started hitting things again.  
  
Loki grit his teeth. “Sorry (y/n)…” he muttered as he pulled you onto his lap. A green glow surrounded the two of you, creating a shield like the ones he used to block against bullets. As soon as Loki’s hands left the steering wheel, the car started to sway. The road was ill kept and a cheap country road, rocks and potholes were scattered all over. Loki reached to open the door, just as the jeep hit one of the particularly large rocks.  
  
“Damn.”  
  
Loki gripped you close against himself, shielding you with his body as the car launched into the air, rolling three, four, five- Loki lost count of the number of times it rolled before he, you, and the car came to a painful stop a dozen meters from the building farthest from town.  
After the rolling stopped, Loki opened his eyes. He was pressed down against something warm and soft. Very soft.  
  
Loki looked down. “Agent! (Y/n)!” He yelled, horrified at how still you were.  
  
  
You came to, groaning as you opened your eyes. “Loki…?” You murmured, trying to look around you. Earlier your side and leg hurt, now you were pretty sure this is what it felt like to be hit by a bus.  
  
Loki was lying on top of you, he looked relieved. “(Y/n).” He smiled at you.  
  
“Am I dreaming?” You asked, very confused. Wasn’t Loki furious with you just a couple of minutes ago? Also Loki was lying on top of you, smiling, that definitely wasn’t real. Although, the pain was different from any dream you’d had before. You tried to look around. You were sprawled out on a… car door?  
You were inside a car that appeared to be on its side, and pinned to the ground by the weight of Loki.  
“Loki, what happened?” You managed to force out the words.  
  
Loki grinned nervously. He suddenly looked like a child who had been caught stealing cookies before dinner. “I tried to drive.”  
  
You managed to nod, still not entirely sure what was happening. “And we’re on the ground why?”  
  
Loki sighed, “I could not find a way to stop it, and then we hit something.”  
  
“Is that why you’re lying on me?” You felt a small blush in your cheeks.  
  
“Yes…” Loki said slowly. “I hoped you might wake up before I tried moving you some more.”  
  
You closed your eyes and nodded again. It was nice being this close to Loki; especially since he didn’t seem mad right now. Your battered mind was happiest by that realization and you felt a smile cross your face. You breathed deeply, trying to ease some of your pain and clear your head. Loki’s scent was different than you recalled it being, there was hot metal, smoke, gasoline, and…  
  
You forced your eyes back open. “Loki,” you breathed heavily. “There’s gas and fire. We have to move now. The explosion will be worse than whatever you think will happen from moving me.”  
  
Loki nodded. “Yes, right.” He started shifting, trying to find a way to unpin himself from you. Most of the vehicle’s weight was on him. Loki was the only reason the jeep itself wasn’t crushing you. The sound of sirens started to fill the air and Loki looked around uncertainly.  
“Rescue sirens.” You murmured, too weak to move.  
  
“Stay awake, agent.” You nodded at Loki’s voice, but your eyes sank closed. “(Y/n).” Your eyes opened again. “Stay awake, darling.” You passed back out before you heard him finish speaking.  
  


* * *

  
You woke with a groan and looked around.  
“No, no, no…” You muttered. You looked down at your hands, one of your fingers had a heart rate monitor on it. In your arm was an IV steadily pumping liquids into your veins. “I will not be in another fucking hospital…”  
  
You stood up and with a growl, ripped out the needle. You doubled over, gasping in pain. “Oww… that was a horrible idea.” The machine that signaled your vitals started to beep angrily. You quickly turned it off, hoping to avoid discovery. “Shit.” You barely managed to gasp out, before falling to your knees. You tried to catch yourself with the arm that hadn’t had the needle in it.  
  
Outside the room you heard movement and then voices.  
  
“Yes, I know her, now let me pass.” You heard a familiar voice growl.  
  
“Sir, she’s been badly injured and we don’t know the nature of the car crash. We’d rather her not have visitors until she wakes up and can tell us more.”  
  
The familiar voice sighed.  
  
  
  
Out in the hallway, Loki was talking to one of the nurses. “She’s my,” he hesitated. “What do you mortals call…? Betrothed?”  
  
“She’s your fiancée?”  
  
“Yes, that.”  
  
The nurse looked at Loki doubtfully, then asked, “Shouldn’t you be wearing a ring? She’s not wearing a ring either.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, “Well clearly it fell off. She’s been injured and is in a place of healing.” The man narrowed his eyes at Loki. “I can’t believe you’d lose track of such an important item of me and my betroth- fiancée.”  
  
“All items she had with her have been accounted for, even her clothing has been labelled and returned.”  
  
“So you lost the damned ring?” Loki yelled angrily. “Now move, I need to make sure she’s fine. I’m done asking politely.”  
  
“Is that a threat sir?” The man tried to speak with confidence, but Loki’s intimidating stature was making him hesitate.  Loki’s unusual clothing didn’t do anything to assuage the nurse’s unease. Loki had had the foresight to remove most of his armour, but he still wore his regular pants and boots. The jacket with its many buckles and straps was gone, leaving him in his green undershirt; a shirt quite similar to the one he had worn in the Asgardian prisons.  
  
“Do you want it to be? Or would you like me to make it a promise?”  
  
The man stepped back nervously. “Sir, I’m going to need you to calm down or I’ll have to call security.”  
  
Loki opened his mouth to reply when he saw you leaning against the door. His eyes softened and you could see he was worried.  
  
“Miss!” The nurse yelled in concern. “You need to stay in bed, and where is the IV?”  
  
“It, ah, it fell out. Though if you wouldn’t mind letting my fiancé in to speak with me…”  
  
“Oh yes, of course. Sorry about that.” He said, casting an apologetic look at Loki. He pressed a button on his pager. “Please let us get you reconnected, you’ve been badly injured.”  
You were starting to get lightheaded from standing and just nodded, waving your hand. The nurse escorted you back to your bed and Loki followed. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, watching as the nurse attended to you.  
  
After a small flurry of activity and several minutes, you were reconnected to the machines and back in bed.  
  
“If you need assistance, just press this button.” You nodded sleepily. The man turned to address Loki, “Sorry, sir. This woman arrived in such suspicious circumstances, we were unsure of what happened and wanted to take every measure to ensure her safety and well-being.”  
  
“Yes, yes.” Loki waved his hand. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to her in privacy.”  
  
The nurse looked back at you; you appeared to have fallen asleep. “It would probably be best if you let her rest first. She’s been through a very traumatic ordeal and sustained serious injuries.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “Fine!” He snapped, exasperated. “I’ll wait here.” He glared at the nurse. “Do you intend to wait here also?”  
  
The nurse hesitated. “No, I have other patients.” He sighed. “She is your fiancée and I’m sure you mean well, but I am a medical professional, please trust my judgment.”  
  
Loki grunted then nodded curtly. With one last hesitant look over his shoulder, the nurse left you and Loki alone in the room.  
  
“I know you’re awake.” Loki drawled. He didn’t bother hiding his annoyance.  
  
You smirked and opened your eyes giggling. “When’s the wedding, honey?” Loki glared daggers at you and your smile vanished, instantly recalling the prior day’s events.  
  
The two of you were quiet for a time; the only sound in the room was the heart monitor. Loki stared out the window, his arms folded.  
After a while, the silence grew heavy and you decided to break it. “So what are you going to do about Fury?” You mumbled cautiously.  
  
Loki’s eyes flickered to you. He clenched his teeth before looking back out the window. “I haven’t decided.” He stopped. If he was being honest with himself, he hadn’t thought it through very much. He had been too concerned about you after seeing the state you were in when he saved you. Some of his quarrel lay with Tony and Bruce for making the concoction, but it hadn’t originally been meant for him and he could hardly blame the two for wanting a way to contain the hulk. A small part of him was surprised at his own acceptance of that revelation.  
  
You managed a small nod. “And what about me?” You whispered quietly.  
  
Loki looked back at you, searching your face quietly. ‘What about you indeed.’ He wondered silently. A portion of him hated you. But around you there was something strange he felt. Something he hadn’t felt in centuries, possibly ever, he amended mentally.  
“I understand rage.” He muttered finally.  
  
You nodded. “Yea, you managed to assault a fortress with only the glow stick of destiny and magic throwing knives.” You tried to smile, anything to lessen the tension in the air. You saw a flicker of amusement in Loki’s eyes as he nodded. Then you noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the cuts and bruises that had yet to heal. “Have you slept?”  
  
Loki shook his head. “Only in the ditch you pushed me in.”  
  
You grimaced. “I’m really sorry.” You paused. “If I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat.”  
  
“No you wouldn’t. You would have gone through with your thickheaded attack anyways.”  
  
You let out a huff of air before nodding ruefully. “Well I never meant to hurt you. Please, never doubt that.” You swallowed and looked out the window. “I know that we’re just partners, but I still think of you as my friend. Even if I did majorly fuck up…” You glanced back at Loki to see that he was studying you carefully.  
  
Loki sighed before walking over and easing himself onto the chair beside your bed. “Thor’s foolhardy schemes have nearly killed me before, as well as his own desire for vengeance. But saying my own actions haven’t nearly killed Thor would be generous.” He shook his head and leaned back, closing his eyes.  
  
“So are we ok?” You asked hesitantly.  
  
Loki nodded slowly without opening his eyes. “I’m sure you can pay me back eventually, but yes, I hate you no more than before.” A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth when he spoke.  
  
You grinned, reaching out hesitantly for his hand and squeezing it gently. “Thanks, you grumpy old god.”  
  
“Now go to sleep, pathetic mortal, or I’ll snap your neck.”  
  
Your grin widened. “Not with how tired you are, dumbass.”  
  
One of Loki’s green eyes opened and he glared at you in amusement. “Don’t test me, human.” Then he closed his eye again and shifted in his chair, trying to find a comfortable position to rest.  
  


* * *

  
You and Loki slept for a few hours before waking up for food. You managed to convince the nurse to get Loki some food as well.  
You both eyed the food in disgust, but the rumbling in your stomachs forced you to ignore it and eat anyways.  
“So what happened after I passed back out?” You asked through bites.  
  
“The emergency vehicles arrived. I cast a spell to maintain my support of the vehicle.” You looked at him confused. “I was shielding you from most of the weight.” Your mouth dropped open. Loki ignored you and continued. “Then I teleported a short distance away, made myself invisible, and managed to maintain the spell keeping the vehicle from crushing you at the same time,” you could hear the pride in his voice; you were impressed and didn’t blame him for being proud of that. “It took the incompetent lot far too long. I added another spell to suppress the energy released by the explosion. They ignorantly believed they rescued you from the vehicle before it exploded, when rather I prevented it from exploding until you were at a safe distance.”  
  
“Wow.” You smiled softly. “Thanks. And you saved a lot of people that way.” Loki shrugged and continued eating, though he still looked quite proud.  
  
After you finished eating, Loki stood up and sat beside you on the bed, carefully studying the bandages. You watched him uncertainly.  
  
“Here.” He murmured, unwrapping your arms. His hand glowed a soft green and you flinched, briefly recalling the woman. You watched as the glow moved around your arm, healing the smaller injuries. “Let me see your side.”  
  
You hesitantly lifted your hospital gown, revealing the white bandages wrapped around your torso. You hissed as he pulled the bandages away. Gently, Loki rested one hand on your thigh to balance himself while the other hand lightly brushed the deep and jagged cut. His fingers were cold yet soft on your skin and you couldn’t stop the deep blush forming on your face. Loki’s hand reached around your side as he gently stroked the skin with his thumb. Your breath hitched at the contact and you tried to remain calm.  
You watched in fascination as the skin started to repair. Loki was so intensely focused on your side that he didn’t realize he was mirroring the stroking motion with his other hand on your thigh.  You bit your lip, blushing a deeper shade of crimson than you thought possible.  
  
Loki straightened up and looked over at the heartrate monitor that was beeping wildly. “What’s wrong?” He looked back at you confused.  
  
You coughed, quickly looking at the ceiling as you tried to regain your composure. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. ‘M good.” Your voice was a higher pitch than usual. You look back at him and smiled, using one hand to cover your blush.  
  
He raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Are you certain? Healing magic can be painful, but I thought that I wasn’t using much…” He trailed off.  
  
You quickly shook your head. “Nope, all good, must be the machine acting up. You know how, uh, Midgardian technology is.” Loki nodded.  
  
Both of you looked at the door as it opened. A doctor walked in, looking concerned. She rushed over to the monitor before inspecting you. Loki had seemingly teleported across the room so she didn’t realize that he had been beside you. The doctor scowled when she noticed the unwrapped bandages. “Miss Barnes, please,” she growled as she started inspecting you, “I understand that the bandages can be uncomfortable but I appreciate you not touching them. They’re only here to help.”  
  
You looked at her confused. “Barnes?”  
  
She gave you a strange look. “(Y/n) Barnes.” She glanced over at Loki who was leaning against the wall with his arms folded. “My notes didn’t say anything about head trauma…” She seemed to be talking to Loki.  
  
You shook your head. “Right, right, sorry, I just woke up.”  
  
She smiled at you politely before looking back at Loki for some sign of confirmation. She returned to your injuries and started poking and prodding at them. “How long have you been in here?” She asked, looking from the injuries to her charts and then back to you.  
  
“Just today.”  
  
“There must be a mistake in your paperwork. There’s no way someone could heal this fast.” She started flipping through her clipboard.  
  
Loki interrupted her. “It’s actually been a few days.” She looked up at him. “She was in an automobile accident and comatose, I only just was able to arrive today. (Y/n) clearly thought you were talking to me.”  
  
The doctor nodded slowly. “Right… Must be a typo in the dates. I’ll go have one of the nurses fix that. You should be out of here in the morning, clean bill of health. You have quite the immune system to recover that quickly.” She shook her head amazed. Finally she stood and left the room, bidding you and Loki good night.  
  
“So I’m your fiancée and Bucky’s, what, sister?” You laughed. Loki rolled his eyes. “Alright, we should sleep. We can call S.H.I.E.L.D. in the morning and get a ride back to New York.”  
Loki nodded as he sat down on the chair.  
  


* * *

  
In the morning, you and Loki were startled awake by the hospital room’s phone ringing. “Hello?” You answered, blinking through sleep. Loki eyed you intently. “Yea, ok, sure.” You set the receiver down.  
  
“What is it?” Loki asked confused.  
  
You hesitated but the door opening interrupted you so you didn’t have to say anything.  
  
“(Y/n)!” Darcy Lewis burst into the room, followed by a far quieter and embarrassed looking Jane Foster.  
  
Loki stood up abruptly. “What are you two doing here?”  
  
“This is where my lab is. Well the city.” Jane looked from Loki to you. “Tony Stark contacted us. He said that you and Loki had gone missing around this area so we kept track of the local landmarks, hospitals being one of them.”  
  
You nodded slowly. “Oh. Right…”  
  
You had talked to Darcy a small amount during the time that she had stayed at the tower, and had grown to like her; her bubbly personality was infectious. “Everyone has been talking about you two, Thor has been so nervous.”  
  
“Nervous?” Loki looked taken aback. “We’ve hardly been gone that long.”  
  
“Well your com-links and the backup ways of contacting you all disappeared.” Jane said.  
  
You felt a twinge of sorrow, realizing that Angela wouldn’t have been there to answer any messages from S.H.I.E.L.D. or the other Avengers.  “Sorry about that.” You muttered. “Things didn’t go quite like we had planned. But we’ve been out of contact before, and it hasn’t been all that long, everyone knew we were going on a mission that could take an uncertain amount of time.”  
  
“That’s why Thor has been nervous!” Darcy yelled. “We were starting to think you wouldn’t be back in time.”  
  
Loki’s face darkened and he frowned. You shot him a concerned and confused look. “In time for what?”  
  
“Loki didn’t tell you?” Jane seemed surprised. She glanced at him, though he wasn’t giving her the friendliest of looks.  
  
“Tell me what?” You demanded.  
  
“Thor and I.” Jane looked suddenly excited. “Just after Christmas, Thor went to Asgard and got the official ok from Odin.” You looked around the room, still utterly baffled by the situation. Jane’s smile glowed with her excitement.  “We’re getting married.”


	25. Chapter 25

“What?!” You exclaimed, thrilled for your two friends. Jane nodded excitedly. You turned to Loki, “Why didn’t you say anything?”  
  
“It wasn’t my secret to tell.” He paused, then quietly muttered. “And frankly I didn’t care.”  
  
“She’s going to be your sister-in-law!” Loki rolled his eyes. You turned back to Jane, “I’m so glad for you.”  
  
In a short time, you were checked out of the hospital and on the way to Jane’s lab. Jane drove with Darcy in the front seat while you and Loki sat in the back.  
“Sorry (Y/n), if I had known you needed clothes, I would’ve tried to bring you something.” Jane called to the back.  
  
You shifted uncomfortably as you inspected the hospital scrubs. “Don’t worry about it.”  
  
The four of you arrived at the lab, “Eric, Dr. Selvig’s in London.” Darcy answered your unspoken question.  
  
“Here, back this way.” Jane led you into a small bedroom area. “I have a few shirts that might fit you. I hope.” You grinned and went her.  
  
Loki moved to follow but Darcy stepped in front. “Woah, dude.” Loki stared down at her confused. “She’s getting clothes, you know changing?”  
  
Loki nodded, realizing he was uneasy to leave you alone. The thought quickly fled as he reminded himself that he hated you. “Right.” He paused a moment. “Do you mortals have a shower?”  
  
Darcy frowned. “You can call us by our names you know.” Loki glared at her darkly. “Whatever…” She showed him to the shower before returning to the main area and waiting for you and Jane.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Does this shirt work?” Jane asked. It was a simple green graphic tee.  
  
A small smile broke out on your face as the color registered. “Yea, that should be fine.” You started dressing.  
  
“So, I’ve been meaning to ask you, since the wedding is official.”  
  
You had finished pulling the shirt on but paused to look at her. “What’s up?”  
  
“There were a few important traditions that Thor wanted from Asgard and I thought that was great, especially because the wedding is here on, uh, Midgard.” You nodded slowly. “But so, he set them up, and then realized I hadn’t really talked about any traditions – I just wanted a small wedding, but Tony Stark got involved…” She trailed off.  
  
You started laughing. “I don’t think he can do small events.”  
  
She shook her head, “No. But anyways, I started going through different Earth customs for weddings and I mentioned the groom having a best man.” You nodded slowly. “I had already explained about the traditions the bride had, so Thor knew that the maid of honor had to basically spend most of the planning and then the actual wedding with the best man,” she stopped as though hoping you realized what she was saying. You stared at her blankly. “He realized the best man is the groom’s closest male friend or brother…” Jane trailed off and looked at you expectantly.  
  
“Loki?” You asked slowly.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Well, he’s not so bad, what’s wrong with him as a best man? He does fit the part of brother.”  
  
“He is going to nearly constantly be with the maid of honor.”  
  
“So?”  
  
“Darcy demanded to be the maid of honor but she isn’t really thrilled with spending that much time with Loki. And I highly doubt Loki will want to spend time with her either. Also, the maid of honor has one of the first dances with the best man and Darcy wants to spend most of the evening with Fandral. Sif, and the other Warriors Three won't be able to attend though." Jane didn't seem that disappointed by the fierce female warrior's absence. "But anyways," she breathed in deeply, "I'm officially requesting you to act as standing 'maid of honor'."  
  
"Huh?" You looked at her confused.  
  
"You're Loki's partner with S.H.I.E.L.D., he seems to sort of like you, or at least not dislike you..." She muttered. "Can you just keep track of him for the ceremony? I don't want him freaking out and attacking people or anything. His track record with humans isn’t exactly the best." She looked at you pleadingly. "Just, stay with him for all the best-man things, ok? Please?"  
  
You laughed. "Alright, I can do that."  
  
Jane tossed her arms around you, hugging you tight. "Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've been so worried about that part, I swear the rest of the planning is going to be so much smoother now that I won't have to worry about him." She waved her hands at herself, trying to calm down. "I'm getting married. Can you believe that?" She radiated happiness. "And to Thor. I'm marrying Thor. Thor."  
  
You chuckled, "Yep, god of thunder, swings a hammer, big muscly dude." Then your face straightened as you remembered something.  
  
She looked at you concerned. "What is it?"  
  
"I don't own a dress or anything."  
  
"Oh don't worry about that: Darcy, Pepper, and Natasha have clothing planned. The whole Avengers got involved with this; it's been making the planning so much easier."  
  
“Oh one more thing, Jane.”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“If we get any calls from Tony, Bruce, or especially Fury, don’t let Loki answer them.”  
  
She gave you a confused look before nodding slowly. “Alright.”  
  
You beamed. “Thanks.”  
  
When you and Jane returned to the main room, you saw Darcy sitting at the table listening to music and Loki occasionally casting her sullen glares. He stopped when he noticed you and Jane.  
  
“Alright Loki, you’re part of the wedding.”  
  
Loki cringed, “Do I have to be?”  
  
You were a little surprised he wasn’t arguing, but given that he was trying to make amends with Thor, you supposed it made sense. “Yep, Thor’s idea.”  
  
He nodded slowly. “What does that entail?”  
  
You glanced at Jane. “Nothing much I’m sure.”  
  
She nodded quickly, “Don’t worry, it’s mostly just a few formalities.”  
  
Loki sighed before sitting down at the table opposite Darcy. “Fine.”  
  
“So what’s on the schedule first?” You asked of no one in particular.  
  
Jane answered. “Well, I let everyone know that you and Loki are at my lab, so they’re all flying in today and tomorrow. The wedding is planned for the week after next. And it’s going to be in a private garden near Tony’s Malibu mansion. But since you’re here, we’ll be able to go through with the party. Natasha voted we skip the bridal shower and instead have a party at one of the local clubs, Tony figured they could have the equivalent of a bachelor party there too, at the same time. It’s not traditional, but we’re working with what we have, given the nature of everyone’s job descriptions. When everyone found out you were in a hospital, they weren’t sure how well you would do with traveling, that’s why we found a club relatively close instead.”  
  
You nodded gratefully, the pain in your side and leg had been growing the more you moved around. You could barely hide your limp as you sat down at the table, breathing in sharp breaths. There was a flicker of concern in Loki’s eyes but it was quickly masked by indifference.  
  
“Err, so are you hungry?” Jane finally asked, breaking the silence.  
  
“Starving.” Loki nodded at your words but crossed his arms and remained silent.  
  
“There’s a Chinese takeout nearby, Darcy and I can go get some for you two.”  
  
You nodded gratefully and the two women departed, leaving you and Loki in silence.  
After a few minutes you broke the quiet. “Is there a chance that we could hold off confronting Tony and Bruce until after the wedding? Or at least after the party? It’d be nice to have a normal night…” You mumbled hesitantly.  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow at you as you spoke. “I’m not making polite frivolities with them, but for Thor’s sake, I can agree.”  
  
You smiled gratefully. “Thanks Loki.” He nodded and leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes and wincing slightly. You frowned at the movement. “Shit, Loki, I’m so sorry.” His green eyes opened and he looked at you confused. “I was so caught up with myself, I didn’t even think- Are you alright? I don't even know how, but you managed to singlehandedly get both of us out alive.”  
  
Loki nodded tiredly, “I just need some sleep.”  
  
You pointed across the room. “There’s a couch over there. I’ll wake you up when the food gets here.”  
  
Loki stood up and cast a grateful look in your direction. He crossed the room to the couch to sit. While he walked, you saw the familiar golden glow that you came to associate with him changing clothes. This time he ended up shirtless and in black pajama pants. As he moved, your eyes roved over his lean, pale figure, and a small blush crossed your face as you admired him. You cocked your head as you noticed discolorations from many bruises, some clearly very recent. Then you noticed a series of scars all across him. Some were deeper than others, the worst seemed to be blue tinged; particularly one just to the side of his heart that was mirrored on his back – as though whatever injured him had cut straight through.  
  
You frowned, trying to think of the last time you had seen him shirtless. “Loki?”  
  
He turned around and glared at you. “What? I thought you were leaving me to sleep.”  
  
“You…” You hesitated, moving to stand. “Are you hurt?” You asked, concern written all over your face.  
  
Loki glanced down at himself and cursed. There was the faintest glow and he looked back to normal: all injuries were gone. “I’m fine.” He muttered before lying down.  
  
You bit your lip, realizing just how severely he had been injured in his life. It was even more curious about the blue, aren’t most scars a pink color? Then you frowned, heart aching, as you realized the extent he was going in order to hide his injuries. You shuddered to think of the pain he must have endured.  
  
Loki’s deep breathing could soon be heard across the room and you too were slowly nodding off as you sat at the table. A short while passed and you were startled awake by the door opening. In walked Jane and Darcy, carrying bags of food and smiling, chatting amicably. You were surprised to see Natasha following them. Loki sat up from the couch, quickly blinking himself awake and magicking his armour back on.  
  
“Hey (Y/n)! Loki!” Natasha called with a wave. Then she held up two small suitcases. “I got you two some clothes to change into. Well, Thor got Loki’s clothes, but whatever.” She tossed one bag to you and the other to Loki. If you hadn’t been sitting, you would have dropped yours. “Oh, sorry. I take it you’re not doing that well, huh?”  
  
You wrinkled your nose then forced a smile. “Nah, I’m fine.”  
  
Natasha rolled her eyes then cast a quick look at Loki. He mirrored her actions but remained silent.  
As you ate, Natasha started filling you in on the events since you had left the tower. It was surprising to realize how short the length of time you had been gone was. However, a great deal of things still managed to happen. Everyone was back from any stray missions. Planning for the wedding began immediately, Tony wasn’t holding back on anything, the excitement for Thor and Jane was too much.  
To save you and Loki a return trip to the tower, Natasha packed some of your favorite clothes and Thor had grabbed Loki’s ‘Midgardian attire’. The party was scheduled for six o’clock tomorrow so there was plenty of time left during the day and into the next. You had long finished eating as Natasha continued to explain your duties for the wedding; it seemed she knew you’d agree to be a bridesmaid. Loki scowled upon hearing his duties and that he had to be fitted for a tuxedo. For the rehearsal dinner, he and Thor would be in their traditional ceremonial gear. While no one felt a rehearsal dinner was actually necessary, Jane wanted to make sure the small private group of friends could celebrate Asgardian customs on behalf of Thor.  
Fandral was bringing an Asgardian wedding dress for Jane, while the Avengers were to wear clothes that they could fight in. There wouldn’t be actual sparring but armour requirements would suffice – seeing as Fandral could only transport so much.  
  
Loki afforded her a small smile of approval. You beamed at her, trying to get her to realize she had pleased Loki.  
For the actual wedding with everyone in attendance, traditional earth clothing would be worn. You’d be lying if you weren’t excited to see Loki in a tux. Then afterwards would be the reception with much drinking and dancing, Jane and Thor would officially be married, and Tony had set up a series of places for them to travel to for their honeymoon vacation.  
  
  
  
“So between now and the wedding, all I need to do is make sure my dress fits properly and get Loki a tuxedo?” You asked after the explanation.  
  
Natasha nodded, “There might be a few more Asgardian traditions that Thor will fill you two in on, but it shouldn’t be too hard. You can do that, right Loki?”  
  
Loki nodded. Then his eyes darkened. “Will the director be in attendance?”  
  
Natasha shook her head. “Nope, couldn’t make it.”  
  
“Pity.” Loki said coldly.  
  
Natasha sent you a confused look. You shook your head shortly.  
  
“Oh, Bruce requested that I apologize on his behalf and that I give you this…” at the mention of Bruce, Loki frowned but then he watched curiously as Natasha opened up the green bag. “Here.” She held up a thick, leather-bound book. “It’s Shakespeare, ‘Much Ado about Nothing.’ He said he figured a comedy would go well.”  
  
This time Loki actually smiled as he took the book from her. “Thank you, spy, err, Natasha.” He muttered her name sheepishly.  
  
Yours and Natasha’s mouth dropped open but Loki was too enthralled in the book already to notice.  
“Uh, right then.” She shook her head, a small smile still on her face. “I can bring you two to the hotel we’re staying at, and then tomorrow at around six, we’ll meet everyone at the club. Drinks are on Tony.” Then she grinned. “And Fandral apparently.”  
  
Loki’s gaze flickered up from the book briefly but he stayed quiet.  
  
“So everyone is getting wasted?” You chuckled. “That will be excellent.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Jane and Darcy stayed at the lab while Natasha drove you and Loki to the hotel that the rest of the Avengers would also be staying at until the day after tomorrow when everyone would leave for Malibu. Between the talking and eating, it had grown late in the evening and you could feel yourself growing drowsy. The hotel was set up so everyone had separate bedrooms.  
Natasha occasionally glanced between you and Loki as she drove, though everyone remained silent.  
  
“We’re here.” Natasha’s voice roused you from your half sleep. She led the way inside, down the halls and to your room. Loki’s room was beside yours. He nodded good night before quietly entering the room and quickly shutting the door.  
  
Natasha led you into your room, still insisting on carrying your bag.  
“Thanks Tasha.” You said with a yawn.  
  
She smiled then sat down on the bed and studied you. “You were injured. What happened?”  
  
You sighed, not wanting to talk about it. Natasha glared at you, silently reminding you that that wasn’t an option.  
“I messed up.” You muttered, sitting beside her.  
  
“And Loki? He seemed different than usual. He’s normally more open with you around.” She paused, “more than with anyone else that is.”  
  
You nodded sadly, shoulders slumping in defeat. “I hurt him.” She raised an eyebrow. “You know about Tony and Bruce trying to contain the other guy?” Natasha nodded slowly. “One of those tablets, I found it in my pocket and… I used it on Loki. I wanted to do something stupid and he wouldn’t let me. I betrayed him, just like everyone else.” The words tasted bitter in your mouth. You rested your head in your hands, elbows propped up on your legs.  
  
Natasha put her arm around your shoulder and hugged you. “It’s ok.”  
  
You cut her off with a glare. “No it’s not. How could I do that to him? I promised to be there for him no matter what and then I do that…”  
  
Natasha sighed. “What was he stopping you from doing?”  
  
“Our contact got killed; Angela, she was a retired S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. This punk ass kid she was mentoring sold us out.” Natasha winced. “I went after our goal alone, trying to take on the base by myself, but it was too much; just like Loki said.” You stopped, a worrying thought suddenly crossing your mind. “Do you think he’ll quit S.H.I.E.L.D.?” You whispered. You wondered if he would even want to work with you now. Sure he seemed to not hate you for your actions, but not hating someone and agreeing to work with them were two very different things. You could feel your eyes burning.  
  
“No, he’ll stay. I’m certain of it.” Natasha’s voice was calm and confident.  
  
“How can you be?”  
  
“For Thor. And for you. He’s going to be pissed at Fury for what he did, but are you going to quit working for S.H.I.E.L.D.?”  
  
Your mouth dropped open. The thought of quitting hadn’t occurred to you: you loved your job. There was no denying your anger at Fury but he was one person amongst another greater organization. “No!” You knew if someone like Mariah Hall sent you on a mission, you wouldn’t question it; any problem with Fury was personal.  
  
Natasha nodded. “Exactly. Like I said, I’m sure he’ll be pissed with Fury, but if you’re staying,” she paused, “I’m pretty sure he considers you to be his friend, even if he refuses to call anyone friends. Plus Bucky would be disappointed to lose him and who’s going to help me keep Stark in his place?”  
  
You managed a slight smile. “You’re right. Thanks Nat.”  
  
She patted your leg. “Anytime. Now get some rest, tomorrow night is going to be insane, I can’t wait to see Steve wasted.” She grinned, then added mischievously, “maybe we’ll be able to have him meet a nice girl there.”  
  
You laughed and bid her goodnight. After a quick shower, you crawled into bed, falling asleep quickly.   
Your dreams were plagued with memories of pain and the fear you had experienced. Except this time, Loki never arrived.  
  
  
This time the pain was worse than before, you had spent longer in that dreadful chair but even if you wanted to talk, there was nothing to say. With an annoyed look, the woman sent you back to the cell, tossing you angrily to the ground. You rolled over in pain and looked up as a beast of a man sauntered in. He glared down at you maliciously but you were too weak to move.  
  
  
Your eyes shot open, breathing hard as you remembered it was just a dream. Your heart still pounded wildly in your chest but you tried to ignore it. Something had woken you; an alien presence in your room.  
You sat up and looked around warily, then your eyes widened as you noticed Loki walking towards you. His hands were up in a nonthreatening manner as he neared you.  
  
“(Y/n)?” He whispered softly in the dark, his green irises seemed to glow.  
  
“Loki?” Your voice was gruff from sleep. You cleared your throat and tried again. “Loki, what are you doing here?”  
  
‘Couldn’t sleep.’ “I… I heard you whimpering.” He didn’t hide the worry evident in his voice.  
  
You moved over and he sat on the edge of your bed, looking down at you, his face full of concern.  
“Just bad dreams…” You managed.  
  
Loki’s eyes darkened as he nodded slowly. “The mind is cruel.”  
  
You nodded with a faint smile. “How’d you get in here?”  
  
“I teleported.”  
  
“I should probably be screaming at you.” You muttered ruefully, though your smile stayed at his presence.  
  
Loki chuckled. “That’s why I figured something was wrong.” There was silence between the two of you. “Do you…” He seemed uncomfortable, but then forced the words, “do you wish to talk about it?”  
  
You bunched the blankets in your hands, idly fidgeting with them and looking for frayed pieces to pick at. “I dreamt… I dreamt that you didn’t come.” You whispered.  
  
You were startled as Loki pulled you close, hugging you tightly. After a moment, you thought he would pull away. Instead he rested his forehead against yours and looked you in the eyes. His green stare was intense and you felt your own gaze wavering.  
  
“We are partners. Even if I hate you I won’t let you get hurt. I promise.” He murmured the last words quietly but you heard him.  
  
Your smile was watery but genuine as you nodded. You pulled away and nuzzled your face into his chest, resting your head in the crook of his neck. “I trust you.” You murmured with a smile. “Thank you.”  
  
Loki gently stroked your hair then abruptly moved away. He felt that familiar sense of horror.  _‘She’s going to use you, she’s going to use you and then she’ll leave, just like everyone else. She can’t be trusted.’_  
“Sleep.” He muttered before vanishing from the room.  
  
Your mouth fell open in shock and you furrowed your brow, trying to figure out Loki’s abrupt change in demeanor. Yet again, he would go from seeming to care about you one moment and then loathing you the next. You couldn’t help but wonder: Just how deep did that emotional armour go?  
  


* * *

  
You tossed restlessly for the rest of the night, sleep always just beyond your grasp. You finally fell into a semi-conscious sleeping state and stayed that way until there was a soft tapping at your door. The lock opened and Natasha entered carrying a tray of breakfast foods.  
  
“Hey sleepy head.” She called cheerily.  
  
You rolled over and looked at her. “Tasha.” You grunted.  
  
“Sorry, but you look awful.” You scowled at her, causing her to grin.  
  
“Where’s Loki, and everyone?”  _‘Not that there’s anything special, he is my partner after all, it’s my job to keep a closer watch on him than the others.’_  You convinced yourself silently.  
  
Natasha smirked but didn’t comment. “He’s with Thor and Fandral. Darcy and Jane are at the lab. Tony, Bruce, and Steve are transporting the drinks for tonight. Bucky is with Clint, shopping for things for the wedding.” Natasha snickered.  
  
You couldn’t help but laugh at the ex-brainwashed super soldier assassin spending the day at shops with the archer assassin. “Please tell me they’re picking out flower decorations.” You giggled.  
  
Natasha was silent for a few minutes. You focused your attention on breakfast as she studied you.  
“So what about you?” She finally asked, breaking the silence.  
  
“Huh?” You managed a confused grunt as you swallowed.  
  
Natasha was on the bed beside you. She curled her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees to study you better. “What about you?” She repeated. “How have you been doing?”  
  
You tilted your head back, looking at her confused. “I haven’t honestly thought about it. I mean, I’m ecstatic for the wedding and definitely glad to be out of the hospital. I’ve been eating fine, probably, and sleeping has been not unusual.” You listed off everything you could think of. “The mission wasn’t the most pleasant, especially with how it ended,” you shrugged, “I’m alright.” You offered her a reassuring smile.  
  
Natasha nodded slowly. “Anyone special in your life?”  
  
You raised your eyebrow at her. “I’m working full time with Loki, I really don’t have any time to be dating.”  
  
“You can take some time off I’m sure. I’m working on getting Steve a girl,” she paused a moment and you looked at her warily, “you and Steve don’t really look like each other’s type. No offense.”  
  
“None taken.” You laughed, shaking your head, “I’m sure you’ll find the perfect girl for him.”  
  
Natasha nodded, “Yea, I have plans on that for tonight. But right now I’m talking about you.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Tony is with Pepper, Thor and Jane obviously, you’re not touching Clint… um, you and Bucky are pretty close…” She said slowly. Both of your eyebrows rose as you stared at her.  
  


* * *

  
  
You were leaning your shoulder into the door, straining to push Natasha into the hall, muscles still tired from the days prior. “We’re good Tasha, I’m going to shower, I’ll see you in a couple hours.”  
  
“Oh come on (y/n)! Don’t be like this!” She was leaning into the door as she spoke. “It was just a suggestion! I’m just trying to help!”  
  
You rolled your eyes, “Why don’t you try Darcy?”  
  
“She has Fandral!”  
  
You huffed, “Why not Loki then?”  
  
“You like Loki?”  
  
Your heart skipped a beat and you let the door swing inward. “I what? No!” Natasha fell to the ground at the sudden movement and looked up at you with a triumphant grin. “Go find Loki a girlfriend!” You growled at her.  
  
“What?”   
  
Yours and Natasha’s heads snapped to the side as you saw Loki standing in the hallway, staring at the two of you uncertainly.  
  
Natasha jumped to her feet, “Loki! Hey there!”  
  
“Natasha’s trying to get you a girlfriend!” You called cheerily, “I’m going to get ready for tonight, good luck you two.” You slammed the door shut and leaned against it, breathing heavily. You knew your face was flushed, but you didn’t dare check the mirror to see just how red it was.  
You were afraid to hear Natasha and Loki in the hallway so you quickly got in the shower.  
  


* * *

  
  
Natasha sighed heavily. “I’m trying to get Steve a girlfriend, he hasn’t been with anyone since the ‘40’s, I’m sure of it.”  
  
Loki’s face remained blank. “And what does (y/n) have to do with that? Does she wish-?”  
  
Natasha shook her head and laughed. “No, hell no.” She shook her head again. “No, I was thinking that I should try and find (y/n) someone also, she’s always going on about being too busy to worry about it. So I suggested Bucky-“  
  
Loki looked at her incredulously, “The soldier?”  
  
“Yea, Bucky,” she rolled her eyes. “Anyways, she kicked me out of her room then and that’s when you showed up.”  
  
“Yes, well, it’s after four. I was told to inform (y/n) so she would be ready in time. But, seeing as she’s already aware, I’m going to get ready as well. The hawk is looking for you.”  
  
Natasha perked up at the mention of Clint. “He and Bucky are back? Great! Alright, see you in an hour or so.”  
  
Natasha hurried off, leaving Loki standing in the space between yours and his door.  
Loki raised his hand up to knock but hesitated, hand still curled into a fist. He sighed heavily before returning to his own room to dress.  
  


* * *

  
You got out of the shower and moved to get dressed. Natasha had packed your favorite party dress. After you put it on, you were glad to realize the material covered your injuries. The deep cuts were slowly starting to heal, helped largely by Loki’s ministrations at the hospital. You smiled, recalling his soft touch along your skin. The blush across your face forced you to forego requesting more healing magic for the time being.   
With one last look in the mirror, you breathed in deeply and prepared for the evening. You opened your door and were startled to hear Loki’s door open at the same time.  
  
“Oh, hello agent, you look nice.” He murmured quietly.  
  
“Thanks, Loki, I- uh…” You looked up to see Loki smiling down at you. His long black hair was sleeked back once more. He wore a black suit vest with a forest green button up shirt; the sleeves were rolled up just above his forearms. You felt a blush spread across your cheeks and managed a small smile.  
  
Miraculously, Natasha and Clint appeared out of nowhere, arm in arm, and saved you from potential embarrassment.  
“You two look great!” Natasha gushed. Clint smiled between you and Loki.  
  
Clint and Natasha led the way, you followed, and Loki trailed close behind you. The four of you turned the corner into the lobby and barely avoided walking into Bucky.  
  
“(Y/n)! You look gorgeous!” Bucky grinned, hugging you tightly. “I heard you were in the hospital and,” he hesitated then quickly shook his head, “I’m just really glad you’re able to join us.”  
  
You pulled away from his tight grip and beamed, “Definitely, and you look good too.” You wondered who had convinced him to tie his hair back, but the look worked for him.  
  
Apparently everyone else was already at the club and it was just a short walk away. You soon found yourself at the club, surrounded by a roar of noise.  
Tony had gathered the Avengers, Jane, Pepper, Darcy, and Fandral in the middle of the room.  
  
“Alright everybody!” The music in the club lessened for Tony’s announcement. “We’re here tonight to celebrate the lovely, lovely Jane Foster’s engagement to the thunder god, Thor Odinson!” A roar of applause filled the air. “Also want to say, good to have the ever wonderful (y/n) and Loki back, a quick trip to the hospital can’t slow her down.” He winked at you.  
  
Thor clapped his large hand on Loki’s shoulder, nearly knocking him off his feet. Thor’s hug with you was slightly gentler, but not too much. “My friends, I am so glad to have you here to celebrate with me and my wife to be.” He looked between you and Loki, “And that my brother, my oldest friend, is here to celebrate with us. It means a great deal that you support Jane and me in our future lives together.”  
  
Loki smiled. “It warms my heart to see you happy.”  
  
“Good to hear you have a heart.” Tony snickered as Loki rolled his eyes. Then Tony turned towards the room. “Drinks are on me tonight.” He announced as the rest of the club cheered. “Our newest friend, Fandral, has apparently brought some of the finest Asgardian spirits so I expect to see everyone wasted. Or better yet, hammered!”  
  
Steve groaned as Thor burst out laughing.  
  
Fandral’s laughter quickly joined in, though he kept his arm wrapped around Darcy. “Volstagg requested we drink on his behalf.”  
  
Loki chuckled. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? He drinks enough for three Asgardians, let alone a mortal.”  
  
“I’ll have a go then!” Bucky shouted, looking for a drink.  
  
Fandral happily obliged and soon he, Steve, Thor, Bucky, and Tony began a heavy night of drinking. Clint tried to join in, but early on, Natasha had the good sense to stop him. It turned out that Fandral was only able to transport a keg or so of Asgardian ale so it wasn’t as heavy of drinking as Tony would have liked but it still got Bucky and Steve more than a little buzzed. Bruce opted to stick with regular drinks.  
  
“Are you going to join them?” Loki asked you once they had started.  
  
“No, I’m going to take it easy still.” You gestured to your injured side.  
  
Loki grimaced. “Of course.”  
  
“Hey Loki! Com’ere!” You and Loki looked over at the sound of Steve’s voice. He swayed slightly, clearly unused to drunkenness after so long.  
  
“Go on.” You waved Loki off with a smile. Loki shot you a pained look before resignedly moving over to Steve.  
  
There was a bar area away from the rest of the club that you slowly moved over to. With a deep sigh, you eased yourself onto a stool.  
“Hey there.” The bartender grinned then stopped as he noticed how you looked. “You ok miss? You chose a helluva night to go drinking. I can’t believe Tony Stark is here, and is that the rest of the Avengers with him?”  
  
You smirked. “Yea, looks like it.”  
  
He shook his head, “Who woulda thought I’d see the day that superheroes partied at my bar.”  
  
You chuckled, “No kidding.”  
  
“So what can I get for ya? I’d recommend something expensive seeing as Stark is buying, but then again…” He hesitated, seeing how you were moving. “Should I call you a cab? You look like it’s been a long day.”  
  
“Just work.” You grunted.  
  
He nodded sympathetically. “I think I have some Aleve or something.”  
  
“I’ll just have a (favorite alcoholic drink), err… maybe easy on the alcohol.”  
  
“Sure thing.” He set about making it before handing you the glass and walking away to attend other patrons.  
  
You sat hunched over at the bar, slowly sipping your drink. Natasha walked over.  
“Not going to join us?” She sounded disappointed. You grimaced and shook your head. “Still sore?”   
  
The song in the background changed. “Isn’t that your favorite song?” You asked as you sat up a little straighter.  
  
She couldn’t help but grin. “Yea, I love it.”  
  
You waved her off, “Go dance, don’t make me feel guilty for ruining the party.”  
  
She smiled ruefully, “You go back to the hotel and rest, it’ll make me feel better.” You smiled back before shooing her away. She waved before vanishing amongst the crowd of people.  
  
After a few minutes you heard someone behind you, “Seriously Natasha.” You turned around and were surprised to see your black-haired partner. “Loki?”  
  
He smirked at you. “As much as I enjoy the Hulk and Black Widow having a dance off,” he gestured to the dancefloor and you started laughing. “You should go get some rest.”  
  
You sighed, setting your drink down. “Not you too…”  
  
“Having a useless partner is no good for me, or this team.”  
  
You rolled your eyes. “I really don’t like you.” He smirked at you. “At all. But fine,  _partner_.”  
  
“The feeling is quite mutual.”  
  
You stood up and walked towards the door, you couldn’t quite hide your limp. Loki offered one last look at the dance floor to see Tony had joined in; Loki couldn’t help but quirk his lips at them. Loki heard the door swing shut and after the slightest hesitation, he followed after you.  
  


* * *

  
  
You heard the door opening and glanced back, to your surprise, it was Loki walking out.  
“What are you doing?” You couldn’t hide your confusion.  
  
He sighed and stepped closer, lifting your arm over his shoulder. He didn’t notice the slight blush you had from the close proximity. “I’m helping you walk back, you foolish mortal.”  
  
You stuck your tongue out at him. “I thought you didn’t like me.”  
  
He rolled his eyes as he helped you down the sidewalk. “I  _don’t_ , but if you collapse in the street and get yourself more injured, I might have to spend more time in that wretched tower and listen to the patriotic one trying to explain,” he paused.  
  
“Explain?”  
  
“I don’t know, America? Patriotism, truth, honor…” He trailed off but his tone was lighthearted and he chuckled. “I honestly don’t know, I’ve stopped listening. The soldier-“  
  
“You can call him Bucky you know.”  
  
Loki tried to shrug but he couldn’t while balancing you. “Fine,  _Bucky_ , he told me to just go along with whatever  _Steve_ ’s saying.”  
  
You grinned, “Hey look, you’re learning our names, it’s only taken a year or two.”  
  
He glared down at you but failed to hide the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. You opted not to point it out.  
“Steve’s always been one for honor and righteousness. Apparently he shares Thor’s tendency for thick-headedness in that propensity.”  
  
“That’s not that bad a thing.” You pointed out.  
  
“True, but it doesn’t keep you alive. Apparently that fool was always getting beat up in alleyways.”  
  
You arrived at the hotel, luckily your room was on the first floor.  
The clerk at the desk looked up when you entered. “You two ok?” He asked before recoiling in fear.  
  
You didn’t need to look up to know Loki had shot him a scathing look. You nodded and managed a smile. “Yea, long day. Way too much walking.”  
  
The man looked back at you and smiled sympathetically. “I know that feeling.”  
  
You could feel Loki tense to say something but you cut him off before he had the chance. “Have a good evening, man.” You said with a small wave.  
  
“Thanks. You too, let me know if you need something. I got the night shift.”  
  
Loki turned and continued walking you down the hall. His eyes had darkened but you didn’t notice. “He was nice.”  
  
Loki silently glared ahead, you couldn’t see his expression. “Here’s your room.” He muttered as you came to a stop.  
  
“Thanks. Good night Loki.”  
  
He hesitated, “Good night (y/n).” The door shut before you heard him. You managed to make the last few steps before collapsing on your bed. You wanted to change or at least take your makeup off, but seconds later, you were passed out.  
  
Loki walked away from your room and back to the lobby. The clerk looked up surprised. “I thought you’d be staying with her.”  
“We’re partners, nothing more.” He muttered as he walked out into the night.


	26. Chapter 26

It was a light tapping at your door, almost timid, that woke you. Shortly following, you heard a soft voice call, “(Y/n),” then slightly louder, “(y/n), it’s Bruce, are you awake?”  
  
“One second,” you called. Then you groaned as you rolled over and stood up. You stumbled to the door and opened it with a smile. “Hey Bruce.”  
  
He smiled back, “Good morning, sorry it’s so early, especially after last night but I saw that you left early so I figured-“  
  
You waved your hand, cutting him off. “Don’t worry about it. What’s up?”  
  
“Well first,” You were surprised when he suddenly hugged you. Bruce had never struck you as prone to physical affection. After a moment you hugged him back. “I’m really glad you’re alright. When I heard you were in the hospital…” he trailed off. “I mean I know you’ve been injured before but this one sounded serious.”  
  
You shrugged. “Nah, I’m sure I’ve had worse.”  
  
He raised an eyebrow at you and grinned. Then he shook his head, “Mind if I come in for a second?” You stepped to the side and he sat down at the edge of your bed, fidgeting nervously. “Um… I see you sleep in formal wear too.”  
  
You looked down at your dress and scowled. “Right, give me another second.” You hurried into the bathroom and changed, taking off the makeup from last night. You added the amount you normally wear before coming back out.  
  
“Sorry, you looked uncomfortable.”  
  
You chuckled, “Don’t worry about it.”  
  
Bruce remained quiet so you sat down beside him, knowing he would talk when he was ready. He finally let out a heavy sigh. “Natasha told me about the sedative with Loki.”  
  
You clenched your jaw and looked down to stare at your hands. “Right.” You muttered quietly.  
  
“I know I’m partially to blame, it’s my fault it existed for you to use.”  
  
You nodded. “It was still my choice.” You muttered bitterly. You looked up and glared at him, “But I don’t need your apology, you should be talking to Loki.”  
  
“That’s why I’m here. There’s a little more that I need to say but I’m hoping you can act as mediator. It’s no secret that he’s friendlier with you around, and if we can keep all three parties,” he gestured at himself then at the wall you shared with Loki. “If we can keep everyone calm, I won’t risk making a mess and I owe it to Loki to not make it worse.” You nodded at the mention of the other guy. “I figured I’d ask you both to breakfast too, a public area might go over better, at least that’s my hope.”  
  
“What about Tony? He’s to blame also.”  
  
“Tony really is sorry. He was upset when he heard, but he can have an abrasive personality when confronted with uncomfortable things; especially because it’s a longer story.”  
  
You nodded, growing more curious by the second about this mystery story he kept mentioning. “I’ll go wake up Loki.”  
  
“Great, there’s a diner down the street; I heard their breakfasts are the best in the country.” He stood up then paused. “Sorry that I’m throwing you under the bus like this.”  
  
You waved him off. “It’s ok. I’ll see you soon, I’ll text you if there’s a problem.” You knew full well how temperamental Loki could be.  
  
Bruce winced, “See you shortly.”  
  
  
After he left, you sighed, running your hands through your hair. Finally you stood up and made your way to Loki’s room. Grimacing, you knocked. “Loki.”  
  
There was silence so you repeated your action. Finally there was an angry growl. “What?”  
  
“Yeesh, don’t bite my head off.” You paused and felt a small smile cross your face, thinking about how often this scenario happened. Under your breath you muttered a quiet “dumbass”, to complete the familiar tradition.  
  
The door swung open. Loki glared down at you but you saw a flicker of amusement in his eyes. “Mortal, please tell me you have a good reason to wake me at this hour.” He was leaning against the door frame, shirtless and in his black fleece pants.  
  
You briefly wondered how soft they were and even imagined stroking them. ‘Just the material,’ You growled mentally.  
“I have a favor to ask and I was hoping we might get breakfast.”  
  
“Get breakfast? Isn’t that a favor in and of itself?”  
  
You rolled your eyes, “No dumbass, that’s me being nice for waking you up this early.”  
  
He scowled, “Mortal, you truly test me. You forget how easily I can snap your neck from here.”  
  
You grinned. “So how long until you’re ready?”  
  
Loki sighed. “One minute then…” He turned then hesitated. “Err, do you wish to come in? Standing in the hall must be…” He trailed off.  
  
You quickly shook your head. “Nope, I’m good. Now hurry up.” The door closed and you leaned against the opposite wall with a heavy sigh. Closing your eyes, you focused on breathing deeply. Then you took out your phone and sent a text to Bruce letting him know you’d be there shortly.  
  
The door opened and Loki appeared, “After you agent.”  
  


* * *

  
You and Loki soon arrived at the diner, a bell over the door signaled your arrival. You scanned the room for Bruce but unfortunately Loki saw him before you.  
“What is he doing here?” Loki’s voice was a hiss but it was by no means quiet.  
  
“We all have to talk.” You replied carefully, trying to assuage him as Bruce stood up and hesitantly walked over.  
  
Loki glared between the two of you furiously. “I agreed to not say anything before Thor’s wedding, but now this?”  
  
“Wait Loki,” Bruce held his hands up, “There’s more to this than (y/n) knows.”  
  
You frowned at him before realizing the genius of his wording. Bruce wasn’t including Loki in any ignorance, he laid the blame on you and for now you could take it.  
This threw Loki off and he stepped back, recoiling in confusion. “What?”  
  
“I don’t want to make a mess, that’s why I suggested breakfast, but there’s more that we need to discuss because I need your help.”  
  
Loki frowned, even more confused, before casting a look at you; except you were just as bewildered. Your gaze shifted to one of the nearby menus. “They sell brownies here too. We could order you one while we talk, if you want…” You mumbled.  
  
Loki blinked at you. There was a hint of a smile that crossed Bruce’s face but he simply turned to Loki expectantly. Finally Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine.”  
  
  
  
Within a short time, food was at the table. Loki’s arms were crossed as he glared at Bruce, stoically trying to remain angry but his gaze kept straying to the brownie. Any other time you would have found his actions hilarious, but given the situation, you stayed silent.  
“Alright Bruce. What is it?” You finally asked.  
  
He breathed in deeply. “It’s my fault the thing exists.”  
  
“You’re damned right.” Loki growled.  
  
Bruce nodded, “Tony would be here to apologize but he’s not always tactful when it comes to this sort of thing.” Loki inclined his head, still glowering at him. Bruce took another deep breath. “I don’t know how it got out of the lab.”  
You and Loki shared the same look of surprise and confusion.  
  
“Shouldn’t your security handle that?” You asked, more than annoyed.  
  
“It was designed to contain the… the other guy if something happened, we already saw just how disastrous that can be.” Loki nodded shortly, though he visibly stiffened at the memory of his last encounter with the hulk. You yourself realized that the hulk is probably what woke Loki from the tesseract but it still wouldn’t be a pleasant memory. “It was still in the early stages of development and Tony and I kept it under close lock and key. We hadn’t even synthesized it yet, it was just a file.”  
  
You furrowed your brow in confusion. “Why’d it exist then? Especially in a case that was for easy access?”  
  
“That’s the thing, I don’t know. Tony and I have been trying to work it out, but believe me, we didn’t want it to be weaponized. It’s theoretically just as effective on Thor and he’s been an ally with earth since the day he arrived.” Loki nodded slowly. The destroyer wasn’t technically meant for Midgard but its damage didn’t go unnoticed. “No one wants to alienate you Loki, you’re definitely an Avenger and we don’t doubt it.”  
  
Loki clenched his jaw before glaring out the window. He was clearly working to comprehend and accept what Bruce was saying. “I…” He glanced back at Bruce. “I believe you.” He muttered finally.  
  
Bruce smiled weakly. “I’m so sorry, really. We kept it under such tight security, Tony is pissed that someone managed to obtain it past all the defenses and firewalls he set up. He’s sorry about it happening to you also, I just didn’t want him to say something stupid while trying to express that.”  
  
Loki nodded ruefully. “The metal man, for all his technical capabilities, is still quite an idiot.”  
  
You laughed before leaning against Loki’s arm and squeezing it tightly. He looked down at you surprised. You quickly pulled away, shocked by your own actions. “Sorry.” You stammered. “Just… just happy for everyone. It’s nice to have everyone getting along.” You knew your cheeks were pink so you quickly started eating.  
  
Loki kept glancing at you uncertainly before returning his intense gaze to Bruce. “My rage is all the more at the director though.”  
  
Bruce nodded, “Agreed, especially because it was issued in your mission gear. You’re not the only one pissed off about this, I’d like to know why such privy information was available. Again, I’m really sorry, this shouldn’t have happened.”  
  
Loki nodded. “It,” He paused. “It’s nice to know that you do not treat me as such a monster.”  
  
Bruce grinned. “(Y/n) said it before, we all have our histories. It’s how we’re using our futures that matter.”  
  
  
  
The three of you had barely begun to eat when the diner door banged open. Tony Stark came running in and looked around frantically. “Guys! I’m so sorry!” Loki glared up at him, while you and Bruce stared silently, occasionally checking Loki for signs of a reaction.  
  
“It went so late last night and then I forgot we agreed to talk about this here and then…” Tony collapsed into the seat beside Bruce.  
  
Loki continued to glare disdainfully. “Yes, well luckily, Doctor Banner has done a suitably adequate job of explaining everything.” Loki muttered darkly.  
  
Tony nodded. “Oh good. But honestly, I can’t believe this happened, how could someone get past my firewalls? Mine!”  
  
“I suggest you find out metal man.” Loki growled.  
  
Tony suddenly turned and glared at you. “Really though, I did expect better from you.”  
  
Your mouth dropped open and you stood up angrily. “You don’t think I don’t know that already? You don’t think I’m not already beating myself up over this? Shit Tony.” Your fist slammed down on the table, making the plates clatter and a few heads turn.  
  
“(Y/n), easy, please.” Bruce said quietly.  
You slowly sat back down. Regretfully, you glanced at Loki. He looked uneasy by your sudden outburst, you weren’t sure if it was because he was fearful of the hulk or if… if what? Why else would he be looking like that when you admitted to being so apologetic? He should look pleased, or at least satisfied, knowing that you were suffering for your actions.  
  
“Just finish eating.” Loki finally muttered.  
  
“Sorry,” you stood up again, “I’m not hungry anymore. I’ll see you all back at the hotel.” You kept your voice low and tried to exit the restaurant quickly but the pain in your side slowed you down.  
You got outside and away from the diner, finally stopping and leaning against a wall where the three men could no longer see you. You would rather have Loki look angry with you, not betrayed and disappointed. Or even sad. And then you admitted that you felt like shit about it and he couldn’t even try and act like that was helping?  
  
“Stupid Loki…” You muttered under your breath. You could feel tears at the corners of your eyes and you mentally kicked yourself: crying too now?  
  
“I don’t think that’s generally how apologies work. One doesn’t apologize and then leave while issuing insults. It takes away the sincerity.” You heard Loki’s deep voice nearby.  
  
Your shoulders slumped and you bowed your head lower, you didn’t want to look up at all. “No, I’m not…” You fumbled for words. “I’m trying to apologize and make it better, and I can’t figure out if it’s helping at all or if I’m actually making things worse.”  
  
You felt Loki’s hands rest on both of your shoulders. “Look at me.” You forced yourself to look up, expecting anger in his eyes. Once again, his expression was masked. “I told you. It’s fine. Nothing has changed between us.”  
  
You hated yourself for it, but you could feel tears pooling in your eyes. “Fine never means fine.” He tilted his head to the side, perplexed. “Why would things be fine? People only say things are fine when there’s still a problem. And why shouldn’t there be a problem…” You mumbled.  
  
“’Why shouldn’t there be a problem?’” He repeated your question and closed his eyes. Then he felt a whispering ghost of a thought in his mind.  _’Because you are sweet and gentle and everything about you has been kind and sincere since I’ve met you. And even in that moment, when you seemed to betray me, I realized even then, that I have never truly doubted your sincerity.’_  He ignored it. “Because you are my partner.” He said out loud, smiling softly at you. You scowled at him, but before you could argue, he cut you off. “Because I am the god of mischief, tricks and lies. And if you were aiming to trick me, particularly be it maliciously, I would know. As it is, I believe you to be sincere. Especially in your misery. I know the effects of disappointing those around you, I know what it can do to a person. You’ve suffered enough, and if not in mind, then in body. You’re still limping everywhere you walk.”  
  
You smiled at him, a few tears finally rolling down your face and you let out a sound that was something between a sob and a laugh. “Really?” You sniffed.  
  
Loki smirked at you. “Yes really.” Then he hesitated and looked towards your side. “Now do you wish for me to try tending your wounds again?”  
  
You wiped your tears away. “That’d be nice… if it’s not too much trouble to ask.”  
  
Loki nodded. “I truly don’t enjoy seeing you in pain.” He muttered before lifting your arm over his shoulder and leading you back to your hotel room.  
  
You wiped the last of your tears away and laughed. “Yea, well,” you shook your head. “I got nothing.” Loki simply shook his head in amusement. You and Loki walked in silence, even though you were getting closer to the hotel, your limping was growing worse and your pace rapidly fell behind.   
Finally Loki stopped and sighed, “Here.” He muttered before effortlessly picking you up and carrying.  
  
As your feet left the ground, you squeaked, “Hey!” You could feel your face turn bright red. “Put me down! You don’t have to do this.”  
  
Loki continued walking with you, ignoring your struggles. “Please.” He growled, his voice exasperated, and he rolled his eyes. “I’m being nice, don’t make this difficult for either of us.”  
You stopped moving and fell silent, occasionally looking up to glare at Loki; he rigidly ignored you and carried you back to your room, only setting you down when you reached the door.  
  
After crossing the room, you eased onto your bed, leaning your back against the headboard and made sure there was enough room for Loki to sit beside you. He followed after you before sitting down in much the same way as he had at the hospital. Carefully, you lifted your shirt up. Your breath hitched as Loki’s fingers touched your side but he didn’t seem to notice. There was a brief pain from the pressure until the healing magic took hold and you felt yourself relax; your eyes even started to drift shut as Loki’s gentle fingers stroked your side.  
  
“Does all healing magic require physical contact?” You murmured quietly.  
  
Your eyes were shut so you missed the soft touch of pink on Loki’s cheeks. “Am I hurting you?” He asked quickly, ignoring your question.  
  
“No, no, it’s nice.” You answered hurriedly as your eyes shot open. “I just don’t know anything about healing magic.” Loki nodded slowly but continued to focus on the injury. You leaned your head against the wall, biting your lip, and closed your eyes again.  
  
Loki interrupted the peaceful quiet. “I fear this will scar permanently.”  
  
You looked down at the jagged line and shrugged. “Oh well. I can’t thank you enough for this, an injury like this one should’ve had me out of commission for at least a month.”  
  
Loki chuckled, “Yes well, we wouldn’t want that.” He pulled his hand away from your side and you had to prevent yourself from whining in protest. “How is your leg?”  
  
You bit your lip, staring down at your thigh. “It’s pretty bad.” You muttered sheepishly.  
  
He stared at you expectantly. When you had stayed silent for several moments he finally said. “Well? Let me look.”  
  
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Loki scowled at you, clearly aware that you were concealing something. You sighed and rolled your eyes, then sheepishly muttered. “It’s, it’s on my thigh, not like it really matters.”  
  
Loki smirked. “Agent, I simply wish to help you.”  
  
You were silent for a moment before finally saying, “Fine.” You fumbled to unbutton your pants, not looking up. You missed Loki’s eyes widen before he realized what you were doing. Then you carefully slid your pants down enough to reveal the bandaging on your thigh. With delicacy that surprised you, Loki peeled the bandages away. His cold fingers made contact with your skin and before it became uncomfortable, the magic started to ease the pain. You sighed deeply, almost euphoric by the relief.  
  
Loki seemed to balance himself, resting his hand beside your neck, and brushing the loose hair from your shoulder. Subconsciously you leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering close. There was a hint of pink dusting Loki’s cheeks and a small smile that he couldn’t quite hide.  
  
By the nine he loved being this close to you. He glared internally at the thought, trying to force it away, but even so, it lingered in his mind.  
He could enjoy your presence and how you looked and felt when you were near him and still continue to hate you, right?


	27. Chapter 27

“(Y/n)! I’m coming in!” Natasha’s voice carried through the door. Your eyes widened as you looked back to Loki, but he had vanished. The door flew open and Natasha entered, then she stopped, and gave you a strange look. “(Y/n), what are you doing?”  
  
You looked down at your leg and the now healed skin, and then your unbuttoned pants. “I was uh, checking my injury.” Your gaze flickered over to the wall shared with Loki.  
  
Natasha eyed you suspiciously then nodded slowly. “Well, put your clothes back on. It’s time to go. There’s so much to do still!” Natasha turned over her shoulder and called into the hallway. “Did you get Loki?”  
  
“Yep!” You heard Bucky’s voice answer.  
  
After doing as Natasha said, you stood up carefully and tossed any items laying around into your bag, before zipping it shut and going to the door. “Hey Bucky!” You grinned at the super soldier.  
  
“Hey there, how are you doing this morning?” Bucky wore jeans and a grey and black t-shirt.  
  
Loki stood beside him wearing black pants and a dark green t-shirt.  Your mouth dropped open, “How did…?”  
  
Loki smirked at you, “Yes agent, how are you?”  
  


* * *

  
Soon you, Bucky, Loki, and Natasha were gathered in the rear of the quinjet with Clint in the pilot seat. The rest of the Avengers had taken Tony’s private jet to Malibu. It seemed Natasha and Bucky opted to stay behind in case Loki was still upset about Bruce and Tony. After a short conversation, Bucky and Natasha were pleased to find that you were all on the same page and that any remaining problems were with the director and would not impact Jane and Thor’s wedding in the least.  
  
The Asgardian portion of the ceremony would take place in a large hall that was connected to the hotel the Avengers were staying at. It was a grand old hotel overlooking the ocean and had great bay windows in many places.  
  
Afterwards, everyone would move to a massive garden that Tony had rented out, where there would be an outdoor ceremony. The outdoor ceremony had several hundred guests attending, a large portion of which were invited because Tony knew them. Jane had invited her friends and fellows from work in nuclear-astrophysics and quite a few people linked to S.H.I.E.L.D. would also be present. This was of course, outside the main Avengers group. Finally, there would be a large pavilion in the garden where people would eat dinner and then the actual party/reception would be held, although everyone was free to continue to roam the gardens – the plants were magnificent this time of year.  
  
Everything was a blur and then, in what felt like no time at all, the wedding was tomorrow.  
You, Natasha, Darcy, Pepper, and most importantly Jane, were all gathered in Jane’s room and chatting excitedly.  
  
“So the Asgardian ceremony, then everyone changes into their wedding clothes, the regular wedding, and then the reception? All in the same day?” Darcy asked, listing it off on her fingers.  
  
Jane nodded. “It’s going to be really busy, but we have everything worked out.”  
  
Pepper leaned against Jane and hugged her, “Oh I’m so excited for you. You and Thor really are perfect for each other.” You and the other ladies nodded enthusiastically.  
  
Jane bit her lip, “I’m so happy, I just can’t believe all of this is actually happening now.”  
  
You clapped your hands and stood up. “I feel like the mother at a sleep over. Go get to sleep, we’re going to be up early as hell tomorrow.”  
  
  
  
As you walked back to your room, you saw Loki coming from the other direction.  
“Hey Loki!” You called with a wave.  
  
“Agent, good evening.” Loki nodded at you.  
  
“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”  
  
“I could ask the same of you.”  
  
“I just came from Jane’s room and was going to sleep now. What are you up to?”  
  
“I see, so that is where the women have been. The men have been playing card games in Tony’s room.”  
  
You nodded, now at your door and Loki at his. You sighed, “Can’t believe I missed out on that… we were playing board games.” You grinned and Loki chuckled. “So tomorrow is the big day, best man.”  
  
“It is indeed, maid of honor.” Loki replied.  
  
“Only technically, Darcy holds the actual title.” Loki rolled his eyes and smirked. “Imagine if the wedding were actually hers?”  
  
“You mean it’s not?” Loki grinned and this time you rolled your eyes. The two of you fell silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. “My brother is getting married tomorrow…” Loki murmured.  
  
“I take it this is his first wedding?” You asked hesitantly.  
  
Loki nodded, “Yes. Sometimes I wonder if Odin can plan his sleeps. He hardly approves of Thor’s marriage with a mortal, he’ll sleep right through the ceremonies. Although, I suppose he wishes for Thor’s happiness so he will accept, if only grudgingly.”  
  
“Do you think he’d do the same for you?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Shrugging, you said, “I dunno. If you found someone, would Odin let you marry her for the sake of your happiness?”  
  
“I hardly think Odin would care about my happiness.” Loki said bitterly.  
  
You frowned, “Yea, well, he’s an idiot and if he doesn’t care about your happiness then he can fuck off.”  
  
Loki chuckled, “Careful agent, Heimdall can hear and see anything that he turns his attention to.”  
  
Grinning, you held up your middle finger towards the nearest window, “That’s what I think of Odin.”  
  
Loki smiled at you fondly. “Hmm… And what of you? Does anyone hold permission for your heart?”  
  
“Hardly,” You said with a shrug, “Like I keep telling Natasha, I’m too busy keeping track of you to worry about that sort of thing. I’ll worry about that eventually.”  
  
“Well then,” Loki bowed, “good night agent, I shall see you tomorrow, don’t forget your part for the ceremony.”  
  
You smirked and mock bowed back, “Don’t you worry your grumpy old head, I know what I’m supposed to do.”  
Loki’s door clicked shut and you scampered into your room before slamming the door shut behind you. You collapsed onto the bed and tried to even out your breathing, the conversation with Loki still reeling through your mind. Had you just managed to calmly discuss marriage with Loki? Not that that meant anything… but also  _insulted_  the king of all the realms?  
  


* * *

  
The next morning came and Thor stood dressed in his ceremonial gear, the clothing he hadn’t worn since his would-be coronation day.  
  
Loki slowly entered the room as he saw Thor leaning against the great bay window. Thor glanced up and jumped. “Loki! You startled me.”  
  
Loki smirked, “I tried not to.” Then he lifted Thor’s helmet, “I have your feathers.”  
  
Thor looked at the helmet in Loki’s hands and a small frown creased his forehead. Then he heard Loki speak. “Feathers.” Thor repeated, not looking up from the helmet but his tone of voice had lightened. “Says the cow.” Loki chuckled, bowing his horned helmet that he already wore. Thor sighed as he took the helmet from Loki’s hands. “So much has changed, yet so little.” He murmured.  
  
Loki nodded. “Indeed.” He hesitated. “I truly wish only for your happiness, but…” he trailed off, not wanting to finish.  
  
Thor squared his shoulders and shook his head stiffly. “But nothing. I appreciate your concern.”  
  
Loki lifted his hands up defensively, “I am merely the messenger. Someone needed to say it. The last thing I wish to see is you in pain, brother.”  
  
Thor nodded. “Right, yes. Have you…?”  
  
Loki bit his lip as he folded his arms. He leaned against the wall opposite and stared out the bay window, not looking at Thor. Eventually Loki nodded. “I have spoken with some… many believe such a possibility exists to extend one’s life, but do you really think Jane would want that? To leave everyone she has ever known behind? Would a human understand? Could a human understand that? Their minds… can they even comprehend such a length of time?” Loki gazed at Thor imploringly. “If this was easy and without pain, I would support you with everything in a heartbeat. As it stands, someone has to argue against it.”  
  
“We are so often at odds, it’s easy to forget.” Thor turned his gaze out the bay window as well.  
  
“I am truly sorry for that.”  
  
Thor offered a small sad smile, “Things have ended up for the best this way. Look at how we are now. Never within Asgard have I truly seen you so calm.”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow. “Calm? What’s that supposed to mean?” He realized he was more curious than annoyed.  
  
“Chaos chases you brother, yet here, it has stayed at bay for so long. You look so peaceful these days.” Loki scowled but there were still traces of a smile on his face. “I don’t know why, but whatever is doing it, I would thank a thousand times. I hope you understand how deeply I missed having my oldest friend with me.” Thor grinned. “Today I will marry the woman I love, and beside me will be my oldest and closest friend. I could not think of a happier arrangement.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “Now you’re just getting sentimental.”  
  
Thor placed his helmet on his head. “And while you refuse to call any of the mortals friends, you will still be able to spend the day with the lovely (y/n) who has tolerated you more than any other I have ever known.”  
  
Loki looked back out the window and tried in vain to hide his smile. “Yes, well, I suppose she is alright for a mortal. I still dislike her of course, humanity after all…” Thor punched his shoulder and Loki cringed before rubbing it angrily. “That was hardly necessary you oaf!”  
  
Thor let out a loud laugh. “Brother, your silver tongue is failing you. No one in this room believes a thing you’re saying, particularly yourself.”  
  
Loki scowled. “This is your wedding day.”  
  
Thor grinned, “And like I said, I couldn’t be happier.”  
  
Loki turned and face towards him, briefly patting Thor’s arm. “Alright then. Let’s go celebrate it as such.” Loki’s long green cape trailed behind him as he left the room, Thor hurrying after with his own red cape billowing behind him.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
“Are you ready?” Darcy asked excitedly, beaming at Jane in the mirror. She had her arm over Jane’s shoulder and you stood on the other side, grinning just as widely.  
  
“Yes! No! I mean absolutely but…” Jane trailed off. You could see she was excited but her anxiety was just as evident.  
  
“It’s just the rehearsal part.” Darcy reminded her calmly.  
  
“It’s the Asgardian part of the wedding, the ceremony that really matters.” You corrected then fell silent as Jane and Darcy glared at you. “Sorry.” You muttered.  
  
Darcy wore a S.H.I.E.L.D. issued field suit, while you wore your regular mission gear. In between the two of you stood Jane wearing the dress Fandral had brought from Asgard. It was silks as white as snow, sitting in layers upon layers under thick lace and frills. The corset top was covered in bright crystals that were already shimmering in the light back here in this ‘green room’ for the wedding.  
  
Everyone had taken to calling the room where the bride dressed as the green room. It was also where Jane was sleeping. Trying to celebrate two completely different weddings was challenging but Natasha and Pepper were certainly up to the task.  
  
At that moment, Natasha walked into the room clad in her cat-suit, carrying a clipboard. Behind her, still adjusting to the bulkiness, was Pepper Potts in one of the older versions of the Iron Man suit. She had the helmet up because it made communicating easier.  
  
You gave Pepper a thumbs up, “You should definitely keep the armour Pepper, it looks great on you.” You grinned.  
  
Pepper laughed as she shook her head, “I’m considering it, it’ll help me to keep track of Tony, but right now we’re working on a wedding.”  
  
“Jane’s ready.” Darcy announced.  
  
“Am I?” Jane looked around nervously.  
  
“Absolutely.” You gently patted her shoulder. Sounds of agreement followed you.  
  
Jane breathed out deeply, “I like the regular wedding dress more…” She muttered.  
  
“Have you seen the guys?” Darcy asked.  
  
You shook your head, “No, not yet, I’ve been busy with Jane. And besides, it’s not like I’ve never seen them in combat gear.”  
  
Natasha smirked, “Thor and Loki both have their helmets and capes on. Their armour also seemed different than what they normally fight in, but it was hard to tell since their backs were to us.”  
  
You tilted your head curiously, “Well I wanna see now…”  
  
Pepper shook her head, “No, everyone is in their spots, might as well have the tradition of the groom not seeing the bride in her dress before the ceremony carry over to all the girls.”  
  
“Just because they can’t see the bride doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to see them.” Darcy scowled.  
  
“The ceremony is going to start in a minute, just shut up.” Natasha growled.  
  
Everyone fell silent and turned to stare at Jane. “Right then.” She said slowly.  
  
“Oh wait, don’t forget.” You hurried over to a large chest that had previously contained the dress. An intricately decorated sheath lay at the bottom. You pulled it out and briefly drew the wicked looking dagger. You briefly spun it in your hand, testing the weight and grinning, “Ah… this is a beauty…”  
  
“(Y/n), give Jane her dagger, you have your own toys.” Natasha called at you before laughing.  
  
You glared before walking over and strapping it to the belt at Jane’s waist. “Ceremonial dagger, check.” You walked back over to the chest. “Veils, two.” You walked back over and with Natasha’s help, pulled it over Jane’s head. She was completely shrouded by the white cloth.  
  
“And now you.” Pepper fumbled with the delicate cloth then turned helplessly to Natasha and Darcy. The two women pulled the second veil over you, draping it to the floor and covering you. Then they pulled a hood like piece all the way forward so your face remained hidden in the shadow of the cowl.  
  
“You know, the reasoning behind this isn’t the most comforting…” You muttered as you adjusted the material.  
  
Natasha actually giggled. “Jane’s the princess, you’re the decoy. Don’t worry though, your decoy groom will be there too.”  
  
You rolled your eyes. “ _Decoy_ , Loki is definitely  _not_  my groom. No one here is. I’m not getting married here, none of the Avengers.” You started rambling until Natasha’s glare made you fall silent. “Sorry. Steve keeps talking about your attempts to set him up with someone, it’s starting to get to me.”  
  
“Hey, Natasha, are you going to set yourself up with Clint now? Or are Tony and Pepper finally going to get married?” Darcy asked with a grin and you managed to awkwardly highfive her from underneath the veil.  
  
“Jane’s the one getting married. No matchmaking is going on today, got it?” Pepper glared at everyone, staying a moment longer on Natasha and Darcy. Natasha simply nodded.  
  
“Alright, you ready Jane?” You turned to the bride.  
  
Jane gulped, closing her eyes as she braced herself. When she opened her eyes again, she nodded. “Yes. Let’s do this. I got this. I’m marrying Thor after all.” She smiled. “How couldn’t I be able to do this? And compared to different particle theories that I’ve been working on undoing and trying to recreate the effects of the-“ She stopped when she noticed Darcy’s glazed look. “Right then.” She nodded.  
  
“Darcy, you have the bowl?”  
  
“Full to the brim.” Darcy called from just behind Jane.  
  
You led, followed closely by Jane. Behind Jane was Darcy who carried a large red and blue bowl that seemed to be made of melded rubies and sapphires. It was filled to the brim with a watery liquid that held a gold hue as it shimmered in the light. Natasha stood behind Darcy. Bringing up the rear was Pepper, who in her Ironman armour was the best protected and able to take the most force in the event of a physical altercation. Obviously no one was expecting that, but Asgardian tradition called for it. You yourself were dressed like the bride so any quick assassination attempts would be aimed for the person at the front of the procession.  
“Odin is such a fucking stickler for details…” You muttered under your breath.  
  
“What?” Jane asked from behind you.  
  
“Nothing, nothing.” You quickly replied, turning your attention forward. Odin refused to approve the marriage on Midgard unless Thor and Jane followed the official ceremonial guidelines. Not that he would really know since he was back in the Odinsleep anyways. ‘I’ve been spending too much time with Loki…’ You realized, based on your level of dislike at Odin. “Shall we go?” You called back.  
  
Natasha took out her phone briefly. “Yep, Stark should be starting the music in three, two…”  
There was the blasting of music from the other side of the door and with one last deep breath, you pushed out of the room and the procession began.  
  
The five women walked down the aisle to the sounds of a traditional Asgardian wedding song. Your eyes flitted back and forth as you looked for possible attackers until you forced yourself to calm down, realizing the ridiculousness of the notion.  
  
You faced forward and were able to look at the rest of the Avengers in their fighting gear along with Thor in his winged helmet and Loki in his gold horns. You briefly made eye contact with the green-eyed trickster and he smirked at you. He reached his hand out for yours and for the briefest second, you swore you felt a spark but you quickly ignored it and fought to hide your blush. Loki looped his arm through yours and the two of you moved to the side, before watching Jane approach Thor.  
  
Jane and Thor positively glowed with excitement and happiness and the love in their eyes stood out like no other.  
  
Fandral stepped forward and bowed low before Darcy, “Thank you my lady.” He said with a cheeky grin before taking the bowl from her. Then Loki moved away from you and helped Fandral set the bowl down on a small table that seemingly appeared from nowhere. Loki being a sorcerer, the table might very well have appeared from nowhere. After Fandral set the bowl down, he returned to stand amongst the men.  Very carefully and delicately, Thor lifted the veil from Jane and allowed it to fall to the floor in a pool around her. Jane and Thor stood on opposite sides of the bowl and Loki stood in between, acting as officiator for the ceremony.  
  


* * *

  
_”And I, Loki, who am only allowed to preside over the ceremony because there is no one else who knows the words to it, and as much as Odin hates to acknowledge-“ You elbowed Loki in the ribs, cutting him off as he laughed.  
  
“You’re terrible!” You said, trying not to giggle.  
  
Loki smirked at you. “No, I’m being honest. I do that from time to time.”  
  
Thor rolled his eyes. “Loki, please, just say the lines properly.”  
  
Loki groaned dramatically, “Alright, alright. Grudgingly, I have been given the powers to approve a marriage,” Thor glared at Loki who rolled his eyes and started again._   
  


* * *

  
“On behalf of Odin the Allfather, king of the nine realms, I stand here to oversee the wedding of Prince Thor and the mortal scientist, Jane Foster.” Loki looked back between the couple as he spoke. “If there are any who believe they are unfit for each other, speak now. If there are any who believe that Jane may,” Loki paused and you could see the briefest hesitation and pain flicker across his eyes, “that Jane Foster could not carry out the tasks as queen, should Asgard find herself in need of one, speak now.” There was silence and then Loki nodded. “Thor Odinson, will you do everything in your power, both in strength and in will, to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of your wife to be?”  
  
“I will.” Thor said, as he stepped forward and placed his hand in the bowl.  
  
“And Jane Foster, will you do everything in your power, both in strength and in will, to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of your husband to be?”  
  
“I will.” Jane said, as she mirrored Thor’s action. Under the water like substance of the bowl, Thor and Jane grasped each other’s hands.  
  
“The oaths that you have already made in your hearts are etched into the rings that bind you into each other’s spirits.” Loki held his hand out over the bowl and everyone subconsciously leaned in to watch. A faint golden glow came from Loki’s hand and spread into the watery substance before a blinding flash of light spread throughout Thor and Jane. After a moment, the watery substance seemed to evaporate into the air and all that was left were two brilliant shining rings on the ring fingers of the entwined couple’s hands.  
Thor and Jane lifted their still entwined hands from the bowl and stared at the impressive rings, before turning their attention to each other and beaming wildly.  
  
Loki inclined his head and continued, “Then in the name of Odin, the Allfather, and his fathers before him, I pronounce you two husband and wife. You may now embrace and kiss as one.” Thor and Jane happily did as he said while you and the rest of the Avengers cheered and clapped. Tony set off a few fireworks from his armour and you were (not very) surprised to see Pepper’s suit mirror his. “Congratulations, brother.” Loki murmured quietly. There was a chorus of agreement following his words.  
  
“And thank you, to everyone, for helping with this.” Thor said as he pulled Jane closer against himself, hugging her tightly. “I truly appreciate it.”  
  
“Thanks guys.” Jane said breathlessly, as she looked around at everyone.  
  
“Right! Part two!” Tony shouted, clapping his hands together. “Pepper said that putting a bride in a dress takes a while, and everyone has to get all gussied up now…”  
  
“Way to ruin the moment, Stark.” Steve muttered annoyed.  
  
“Ehh, he is right though.” Bucky said with a shrug.  
  
“Of course, Lady Natasha,” Thor turned to Natasha. Natasha was already pulling Jane by the arm back to the greenroom.  
  
“Already on it. C’mon everyone, we have to get to the garden ASAP.” Natasha called over her shoulder.  
  
You paused beside Loki. “Nice job.”  
  
Loki folded his hands in front of himself and nodded, “Thank you agent, to you as well.”  
  
Unable to help it, you broke out into a playful smirk, “I did miss the antlers though.” Loki rolled his eyes and with another gold glow, you watched his armour transform into his wedding tuxedo. Your mouth dropped open when you caught sight of him in his long tailed suit. Loki looked down at the clothes, searching for unwanted marks in the fabric, before finally glancing up at you. You snapped your mouth shut just in time. “How’d you do that?”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow as he smirked at you in amusement. “It’s an enchantment. I was bored and opted to enchant this style of clothing.”  
  
You nodded stiffly. “Right, well, I’m going to get changed. I guess I’ll see you at the garden then.” You hurried off to your room to put your dress on, knowing that Natasha would be there shortly to berate you for any last minute alterations.  
  
You got back to your room and searched through your closet, pulling out the beautiful gown. The dress was long, with the top looking like it was wrapped tight with strips of cloth, a ribbon wrapping around the waist as the skirt flowed out with blues and purples, changing colors as the light hit it. The mild sweetheart neckline dipped low and it occurred to you how nice a necklace would look in that spot. You looked back at your open bag and noticed a small box resting amongst your other belongings. It was the necklace Loki had gotten you for Christmas; Natasha must have packed it. You smiled and put it on, there, the perfect finishing piece for your outfit.  
  
  
  
The regular portion of the wedding went by without a hitch, Jane looked fantastic in her regular wedding dress. It was big, bigger than she would have liked, but at least she could walk in it, and wear sneakers under the large skirt. Compared to movement in the Asgardian dress, it was a dream. This dress was pure white, with lace overlay and small sprinkles over it, the top had a corset look to it, with lace straps going over her shoulders to keep the dress up.  
After the wedding, as everyone ate, Loki managed a polite toast on her and Thor’s behalf. Once the food was finished, Thor and Jane began their first dance as newlyweds. Tony, much to Pepper’s dismay, went straight to the open bar.  
  
Fandral appeared immediately after Thor and Jane started dancing, quickly whisking Darcy away to dance with her. You were content to sit and watch, enjoying the splendor of everything around you.  
  
“Forgive me, but I’ve been told the best man has to dance with someone.”  
  
You turned around at the sound of Loki’s voice and smirked, “That’s usually how it works.”  
  
Loki held his hand out to you, “Would you care to join me?”  
  
Glancing past Loki’s shoulder, you noticed a group of girls giving him hopeful looks. “You sure you don’t want to dance with them?”  
  
Loki followed the direction you were looking and grimaced, “Please, if I wanted to spend time with a troop of harpies, it certainly wouldn’t be at my brother’s wedding.”  
  
“Harpies?” You raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Ugly birdlike women, their voices are painfully shrill. I would say that you should hear them speak but they’ve been known to drive people mad with the sound alone.” You frowned, thinking about the strange bird women. Loki still held his hand out to you and his expression became annoyed as he glared at you. “Are you really going to make me ask twice?”  
  
You grinned, “Now that you mentioned it, I think so.”  
  
Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. He curled his hand into a fist and pulled it away before saying, “Agent, as my partner, I request that you dance with me.”  
  
This time you raised both your eyebrows, “That sounds slightly more demanding than before.” You folded your arms and leaned back in your chair.  
  
“Agent, you are truly the most infuriating person I know, mortal or otherwise.” Loki growled as he glared at you. Your smile widened. “Fine, if you don’t wish to dance-“ He turned to walk away.  
  
You quickly stood up, “Oh don’t be like that, dumbass, I don’t want to risk your sanity by you talking to the harpies.” You reached out and grabbed his arm. “C’mon, let’s go dance.”  
  
Loki allowed you to lead him to the dance floor, saying as you walked, “I truly hate you.”  
  
Still smiling, you called over your shoulder, “No you don’t.”  Then you stopped awkwardly on the edge of the dancefloor, suddenly unsure if Loki knew how to dance. You were surprised when Loki took the initiative and continued walking, pulling you into the throng of people.  
  
Finally he stopped, “I see you’re wearing the necklace I got you.” Loki murmured as he pulled you close for the dance.  
  
You nervously glanced down, “Oh, right yea.” Loki took your hand in his and you placed your other one on his shoulder. Loki’s other hand rested politely on the small of your back.  
  
“I was wondering if you didn’t like it.”  
  
You started to move in step with Loki, startled at his ability to dance. “It’s beautiful. I just haven’t had an occasion to wear it.” You replied as Loki nodded silently. The thought of Loki’s Christmas gift briefly flashed through your mind but you opted not to mention it. Though you were curious whatever became of that small silver chest.  
  
Loki’s voice drew you back to the present, “You have been awfully busy, haven’t you?”  
  
“Busy with you.” You laughed as you looked up at him.  
  
Loki chuckled, “Sorry.”  
  
You managed a small shrug, “Don’t worry about it.”  
  
The two of you continued dancing, silently moving in time with the song. It went on this way for several songs, some slow, others faster. You realized you were actually having a marvelous time, and based on the smile that you occasionally caught on Loki’s face, he was also. Eventually, during another one of the slow songs, you found yourself gazing around the room, searching for the rest of the Avengers. Natasha and Clint were dancing slowly together, Pepper had managed to get Tony into a dance also, however Darcy and Fandral were nowhere to be seen.  
  
You must have made a noise for Loki looked down. “What?”  
  
“Darcy and Fandral are missing.” You muttered with a smirk.  
  
Loki laughed. “Hardly surprising, those two.”  
  
You continued to look around. Bruce was talking with one of Tony’s science friends. Even Steve was dancing with a blonde haired woman and sharing a few laughs with her; they looked to be getting on quite well.  
  
“You know darling,”  
  
“What?” You snapped your attention back to Loki.  
  
“Agent,” then he paused, he turned his head slightly, seeming perplexed. It must have been your imagination, but you watched him carefully, waiting for him to continue. “I-“  
  
“(Y/n)! Loki! There you guys are! I’ve been looking all over for you.” You and Loki quickly pulled apart and turned to look at who was speaking.  
  
“Oh, hey Bucky!” You beamed at him.  
  
“Hello soldier,” Loki muttered dully, “Bucky.”  
  
A flicker of recognition seemed to cross Bucky’s eyes but it was quickly gone as he turned his focus to you. “I was wondering if I could get a dance with (y/n). I think Tasha is looking for you Loki.”  
  
Loki scowled and nodded. “I think she took your suggestion to heart, agent.” He turned and quickly strode away.  
  
“Suggestion?” Bucky asked as he hesitantly offered you his hand.  
  
You took it and started to lead. “I told her that I was too busy as Loki’s partner to go looking for a guy, so I told her to find Loki a girl instead, you know how she’s been trying to find Steve someone.”  
  
Bucky grinned. “Right, I remember. So she’s turning her attention to Loki?” He eyed you quizzically.  
  
You shrugged, “Looks like it.”  
  
“Well, I guess if Loki gets a girlfriend, then will you have time to find someone?”  
  
You raised your eyebrow at Bucky. “He hates humans. I’m sure that won’t happen.”  
  
Bucky nodded slowly. “Uh huh…”  
  
Furrowing your brow and frowning you looked at him uncertainly, “What?”  
  
Bucky’s eyes flickered to the side but quickly returned to you. “What?”  
  
You glanced over and saw Loki standing opposite a woman Natasha seemed to be introducing him to. You skipped a step in your dance and faltered, before regaining your composure. Luckily the song ended at the same time. “I think I’m going to get a drink.” You muttered. “Thanks for the dance Bucky.” You managed a smile as you walked away.  
  
Bucky frowned but managed to make eye contact with Natasha and nod.  
  


* * *

  
  
Loki forced a smile as he listened to the woman speak. Her words were so similar to all the women he had heard before on Asgard. Though her features were different, they held attractiveness in their own right. He listened and even managed to laugh at some of the things she said but overall he couldn’t get over how completely she bored him. He could read her like an open book and the thought occurred of how easy it would be to bed her, yet he held no desire to do so. His attention on the conversation wavered as he saw you hurry past. Your head was tilted down but you made no outward sign of noticing him.  
  
“Loki?” The woman asked, pulling his focus back to her. “You were saying?”  
  
Loki shook himself then smirked, “Yes, that you are a self-centered mortal that I couldn’t care less about.” He cast a quick look at Natasha, “Apologies, spy.” He muttered before turning on his heel and following after you.  
  
“Wait, what?” The woman’s mouth dropped open and she looked over at Natasha.  
  
Natasha hid her satisfied smile before softly addressing the distressed woman. “No, don’t worry about it, I’m sorry. I should’ve known, I’m really sorry.” Natasha rambled comforting and reassuring words to the woman in attempts to keep her calm before leading her off to another person nearby.   
  


* * *

  
  
Out in the gardens, there was a stone bench surrounded by roses in full bloom. You sat down at it, arms wrapped around yourself as you thought of the situation. Loki smiling and apparently flirting with a woman should be fine really, it’s not like he had any reason he couldn’t. Why was it bothering you so much?  
  
You sighed. The answer was obvious but even still, you couldn’t bring yourself to admit it. Clenching your teeth, you folded your arms around yourself tighter, trying to ignore the aching in your heart.  
The sound of footsteps pulled you from your thoughts and you looked up. Loki stood in front of you, though he seemed to be looking over your shoulder. You frowned.  
  
“A rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet.” Loki murmured, then frowned. “Not the most fitting line I suppose.”  
‘ _Human_ ’ he thought silently and frowned inwardly, then again, perhaps not.  
  
You smiled ruefully. “That’s Romeo and Juliet, is that girl Natasha set you up with about to die?” You closed your mouth, realizing that if he did indeed like her… well you wanted him to be happy right? “Sorry.” You muttered, biting your lip.  
  
“Like I said, a harpy. Don’t be sorry at all. And while I couldn’t care less, I certainly hope she doesn’t spoil Thor’s wedding that way.” Loki grinned.  
  
A small laugh escaped you. “Funerals really do dampen the mood of a wedding I guess.”  
  
Loki sat down beside you. He glanced down at your hand and a small part of him considered reaching for it. He remained silent however, gazing across at the many flowers.  
  
Following his focus, you asked, “Beautiful, huh?”  
  
Loki glanced at you and chuckled, “Yes, I suppose.” His green eyes bore into yours with such intensity that, after a moment, you were forced to look away.  
  
“So Natasha struck out with you, I wonder if she got alright for Steve. I think he was with that nurse Sharon. Well S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, her cover was a nurse.”  
  
“Did she try and, err, ‘set’ you up?” Loki asked, some slang was still foreign feeling.  
  
You shook your head. “Nope.” After a few moments of silence you sighed, “I can’t decide if I should go back to the hotel or go back and try to get wasted with Tony.”  
  
Loki was about to answer when he sat up suddenly and looked around. You copied his actions, unsure of what he noticed.  
  
Suddenly a man turned the corner and ran over to you and Loki before stopping and panting for breath. He bent over, hands on his knees as he tried to allow his breathing to slow. “Agent (y/n)?” He asked, looking at you. You nodded slowly, surprised to be addressed that way at Thor’s wedding. “And, err, Loki?” Loki’s eyes darkened as he glared at the man, you figured because he didn’t recognize Loki. Loki simply nodded curtly.  
  
“We’ve been looking all over for you,” The man said as he straightened up.  
  
“Why? What’s wrong?”  
  
“S.H.I.E.L.D. has an urgent mission.”  
  
“It can’t wait for my brother’s wedding to finish?” Loki growled darkly.  
  
You shot Loki a look before asking, “Is Fury involved?”  
  
“That’s classified, agent.”  
  
Loki stood up swiftly, towering over the man, “Classified be damned, is Fury involved?” He spat angrily.  
  
The man stepped back and you noticed him visibly shaking, “I, I don’t know sir.” He stammered.  
  
You frowned as you stood up and crossed your arms. “Fury royally fucked up, we’re not exactly in the mood to do a mission for him.”  
  
The man shook his head, “It’s orders from high up in S.H.I.E.L.D., I don’t know the details, I just know a quinjet should be here shortly.”  
  
“Here? At the wedding?” Loki seemed to barely contain his anger.  
  
You gently touched his arm, unsure where the instinct came from but it seemed to pull Loki back from his rage as he stared down at you, startled. “That sounds serious.” You murmured to Loki quietly.  
  
“I know this is related with your mission in Mexico, if that helps any. We have reason to believe they’re linked.” The man answered, looking between you and Loki warily.  
  
Loki’s face hardened, “The ones who put agent (y/n) in a hospital?”  
  
The man nodded timidly.  
  
You sighed, “The jet will be here shortly, and I’d still like to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. ultimately.” Then you mumbled quietly. “Preferably with you.”  
  
Loki’s expression softened as he looked at you, “We’re still partners. I suppose I’m stuck going with you.”  
  
You grinned, “Awesome!” Then you turned back to the man, “I don’t have my gear with me, or weapons.”  
  
“We figured as much. We’ve furnished the jet with some, just in case.”  
  
“I miss the ones Tony got me.” You said.  
  
“I’m sure he’ll be happy to make you more.” Loki muttered before returning his focus to the man. “Before anything happens, I’m searching that vehicle’s weapons. I want to know everything that’s on board.”  
  
The man nodded quickly, “Yea sure.”  
  
“I’ll go make sure the others know. Is there a way for the jet to land not directly in the gardens? I don’t want to make a scene.”  
  
“I’ll see what I can do.” The man said as he took out a radio.  
  
“You should talk to Thor personally, he would definitely appreciate that. I’ll tell everyone else.” Then you glanced down at your dress. “I really hope they have a change of clothes.”  
  
You and Loki quickly hurried off to tell the others, leaving the agent behind to sigh in relief. “Yea, we’re good.” He said into the radio. “There’s a parking lot nearby, land there.”  
  


* * *

  
  
You pushed through the crowds of people, looking for the red haired assassin. “Tasha!” You called, once you spotted her.  
  
“Hey (y/n)!” She called back with a smile, then it faded as she looked at you. “Where’s Loki?”  
  
“He’s talking to Thor. Listen, we got a lead on the people from our mission in Mexico, we’ll be getting an escort soon. I want to get those sons of bitches back for what they did, but I wanted to make sure you knew.”  
  
Natasha sighed, “Alright. Loki is going with you, right?”  
  
“Naturally.”  
  
She hugged you tight, “Be safe, ok? I couldn’t stand to lose either of you.”  
  
You grinned, “Don’t worry about it. I owe those bastards for putting me into a hospital, we’ll be fine.” You hurried off to meet Loki in the parking lot.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone who comments and kudos/bookmarks, it means so much to me, especially the comments which bring a smile to my face :)

“Coming Loki?” You called from the back of the quinjet. For the first time since working with him, you saw him hesitate. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Loki shook his head and hurried past you. He simply didn’t answer and stayed silent. Then he muttered an incantation before looking around. ‘They didn’t lie about the sedative.’ He thought, but he couldn’t shake that feeling.  
  
After he sat back down you sighed, “All clear on the sedative?” Loki nodded stiffly but still remained silent. “Well don’t look, I’m going to change.” You muttered as you dug through the bag lying beside you. Ignoring Loki’s laugh, you turned around and quickly changed out of your dress and into your mission gear. Luckily it was fairly standard commission and not hard for S.H.I.E.L.D. to replace. There was a set of your old daggers, not as nice as the ones Tony made, but they’d work. For the next half hour, Loki sat there quietly, never moving from his seat. You finished dressing and sat back opposite him, occasionally casting him uneasy looks. It was not unusual for him to have ignored you in the past, but now the way he was acting struck you as odd.  
  
Finally you broke the silence. “What’s wrong?”  
  
He looked at you and tried to scowl but the unease was clear in his eyes. “Nothing.” He muttered. Even so, he glanced over to the pilot’s area but the door was shut so you couldn’t see anything.   
  
You bit your lip, his unease was contagious.  
“Are you sure?” You asked, lowering your voice.  
  
Loki breathed out heavily and leaned back. “I don’t know, and I don’t like it.”  
  
You cocked your head to the side. “Don’t know what?”  
  
Loki growled as he glared at you. “I don’t know what I don’t know!” He snapped angrily.  
  
Confused, you leaned back trying to think. “What’s different this time?”  
  
You saw Loki bite the inside of his cheek. “Nothing, as far as I can tell.” His voice was slow and quiet.  
  
You checked the time and saw that it had been fifteen minutes since you left. Frowning, you looked up at Loki. “How long has it been since we left?”  
  
He glanced out the small window. “Probably two, maybe three hours at most. Why?”  
  
“My GPS and communications say…” You paused, realizing it’s what they didn’t say.  
  
“Say what?”  
  
“They’re not telling the time or location.” You whispered softly.  
  
Loki turned towards the window and the two of you noticed the sky was dark. You were certain it was light just minutes ago.  
  
“We’re flying east, did they give you a specific location?” Loki asked, glancing down at you.  
  
You moved to look out with him. “No, but that’s not exactly unusual.”  
A flicker of lightning flashed across the nearly black sky and you realized the jet was managing to block out the roar of the storm. The rain was falling in sharply angled sheets.  
“Any chance that’s Thor?” You asked weakly, trying to shed some humor on the situation.  
  
The jet jolted as it was caught in a sudden wind gust and you lost your balance. Loki’s strong arms caught you, preventing you from falling and he held you close to his chest. There was no time to dwell on the moment as the quinjet bucked again. You and Loki stepped away, seeking stability from the walls.  
  
“Not likely.” He muttered.  
  
You turned to the pilot door and banged against it with your fist. “Hey!” The door slid open and you could see the pilot flying, seemingly oblivious to the monsoon surrounding the plane. “What’s going on?” You demanded angrily. “Why is my GPS dead?”  
  
“We’re out of range.” The pilot called back.  
  
Loki frowned. “I’m the god of lies, mortal, don’t bother trying to conceal anything from me.”  
  
The pilot turned around to face the two of you. After a moment of hesitation, you saw a sense of resolve fill his face. Loki reacted faster to the pilot’s movements than you could. He shoved you to the side, causing you to slide back and hit the rear of the jet.  
  
“Hey!” You yelled as in the same movement he opened the rear door. Rain started pouring in and you were soaked instantly, losing traction by the millisecond and you started to fall.  
Loki ignored you and turned back to the pilot.  
  
“HAIL HYDRA!” The man screamed, pulling a strange looking grenade and detonating. Loki threw up his arm, trying to shield his face but the force of the explosion sent him flying as the plane was ripped apart. You heard the man shout just as you finally lost your grip on the hatch.  
  
As you fell, your back to the water, arms waving uselessly around you, you were able to appreciate the beauty of the fiery explosion, if only for a second before reality came screaming back.  
“Loki!” Your voice cracked from a scream as you broke the surface of the water and the outside noise was quickly drowned out. You managed to force your eyes open, briefly recalling early training at S.H.I.E.L.D. where they had forced you to be able to open your eyes in salt water. It really wasn’t so bad until you got out.  
  
You thrashed around in the water, twisting and trying to figure out which way was up. Allowing a small breath of precious air to escape, you watched the direction the bubbles floated. Finally finding which way was up, you kicked your feet and arms, frantically trying to return to much needed oxygen.  
  
Breaking through the surface of the ocean you gasped and started to gain breath, rising and falling with the massive cresting waves. The wreckage of the quinjet was splintered around you. You desperately swam and grabbed hold of the bench, using it as a lifeboard.  
  
You called Loki’s name again but your voice was hoarse. “Loki! Where are you?” A loud crack of thunder drowned out your call. Rain like you had never seen before fell around you; for the first time, you were truly able to appreciate what a ‘torrential downpour’ was. It smattered your hair across your face and you tried to it wipe away as you looked around wildly. Forked lightning illuminated the wreckage around you every few seconds but there was still no sign of Loki. His armour is leather and metal. Every short term instinct urged you to drop the extra weight from yourself: weapons, survival gear, food. You fought to ignore it, knowing you would hate yourself for not having them if- when you got out of the ocean.  
  
You tightened your grip and scanned around some more. The black storm clouds against the black water made visibility nearly impossible, even the rain was hindering your ability to see the fiery shards of the plane; you were certain the engine was on fire but you prayed that it wouldn’t explode. Another streak of lightning flashed across the sky and you saw a shimmer of gold. “Loki?!” You screamed, hoping your voice carried over the crashing waves and that the gleam of gold was Loki.  
  
Once more lightning flashed and you could see his black hair as he broke free of the surface of the water. Loki spun around in the water and you were barely able to make out his emerald eyes that even in this darkness seemed to glow. You called out his name again.  
  
You watched him swim with apparent difficulty and agonizingly slow. Loki finally paddled over to you. As soon as he was within reach, you grabbed his arm and pulled him to your side.  
  
“(Y/n)!” He coughed out weakly as another flash of lightning illuminated his face. The light made his already pronounced cheekbones appear even sharper. Loki noticed you clinging to the bench with your free arm and he quickly followed suit; though, like you, he never released your hand.  
  
“Hey!” You managed to smile weakly at him, squeezing his hand as tight as you could.  
  
“(Y/n), I’m so sorry!” He yelled over the roaring of the storm. “I shouldn’t have left you-“ his voice was drowned out, “the explosion, I thought-“ waves crashed around the two of you, “safer!” He finished.  
  
You gripped your arm around his side and latched onto his shoulder, pulling him closer to you. “It’s ok!” You called, smiling at him. The flickering lightning brightened both of your faces, causing them to glow eerily. “You’re here, that’s all that matters.”  
  
Loki nodded as he adjusted his free arm on the bench before gripping you tighter. “I won’t leave! I promise.”  
  
Rain continued to pour, pushing any hopes for a conversation to the side. Loki’s matted hair resembled an oil slick. You lost track of how long you floated there, the waves batting you around like toys. Shakespeare once described cresting waves moving as high as Olympus, you were finally able to experience and truly appreciate what he meant firsthand.  
  
Finally the rain stopped and the height of the waves lessened. It was still dark out but now only the waves and light wind cast sound.  
  
“Loki…” Loki had started to doze against the bench. You shook his arm and his eyes flickered open as he scanned your face. “It stopped.” You grinned, you felt exhausted and knew you must look it at as well.  
  
Loki looked around, sighing in relief. “Where are we?” He asked finally.  
  
You shook your head, “I don’t know.” You didn’t let go of his arm and realized that he was clinging to you just as tightly. “One sec.” You let go of him and you saw a flicker of fear. By your belt, you reached and pulled up your waterproof comlink.  
Loki’s grip on you tightened as you used your hand not holding the bench to look at the device. You felt a small blush at the close proximity but pushed it from your mind. Priorities.  
  
“We’re in the Atlantic… roughly.” You murmured and Loki nodded, this information was relatively useless in your given situation. A few minutes passed and you managed to get some more information from the various readings. “I think… we’re off the coast of the Western Sahara.”  
  
Loki looked at you blankly, “And?”  
  
You sighed, “We’re in the middle of nowhere. We’re off the coast of a desert.” You looked back at him. He finally let go of you and let his free arm sink underwater. There were dark circles under his eyes and you could only imagine how bad you looked. Even on his bad days, he still looked like a god.  
  
“We need to start swimming.” Loki said, his breathing was labored.  
  
Slowly, achingly, the two of you kicked off in the direction of land. You stayed holding onto the surprisingly well floating bench. “Remind me to thank someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. for this.” Loki eyed you confused. You nodded your head at the bench, “This thing floats great, we should thank someone at S.H.I.E.L.D.”  
  
Loki laughed weakly, “Duly noted.” Then he sighed, “S.H.I.E.L.D…”  
  
The two of you continued to kick along, stopping every couple of minutes; Loki seemed far more exhausted than you. Sure he spent more time away from the bench, but why was he so tired? You wondered silently. Had he spent more time underwater?  
You studied his leather coat and noticed it was singed and ripped in parts.  
  
The explosion… He took the full blast.  
  
“How are you doing?” You asked after several hours.  
  
“Marvelous.” He grunted. Loki kept his eyes closed mostly, allowing you to steer. More time passed before he finally opened them. “Hail hydra…” He murmured.  
  
You looked at him. “What?”  
  
“The pilot said that, before the explosion.” His eyes closed again.  
  
Your heart sank. “This was a hit then…” He nodded. “That means someone knows we crashed.”  
  
“But not S.H.I.E.L.D. or the other Avengers. They won’t have reason to suspect anything for…” Loki trailed off as he thought about it. “Was this even an officially sanctioned mission?”  
  
You muttered quietly, “Well, we at least told the others before we left.” You fell silent for a moment, “Someone is still expecting us to turn up, somewhere.”  
  
“Not someone friendly.”  
  
“True, but we’ve dealt with that sort of thing before. And besides, if something were to happen, if  _you_  were to go missing anyways, someone would know. We’re not exactly expendable, I know I’m a top ranked S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but I can still be replaced easily enough. You on the other hand…”  
  
Loki glared at you. “Don’t say that.”  
  
“It’s true. You have Thor. If you go missing, to say he will move mountains to find you is an understatement.” Loki was silent. “He’d call in your all seeing friend too. I’m just human.”  
  
“No.” Loki looked determinedly ahead but the firmness of his voice was startling. “Even if you are just human, the Avengers would find you no matter the cost. Steve and Natasha found Bucky. They’d make sure to get you back.”  
  
“Would you?”  
  
Loki looked at you, surprised. “Of course I would, why wouldn’t I?” Then he offered a small rueful smile, “We’re partners. I’d be stuck being the first one to get you back.” A vivid memory of Loki rescuing you from that cell flashed across your mind.  
  
“Yea, and I guess I’d be stuck getting you back too.” You let out a short laugh, tired from all the swimming. “Although, if this was a premeditated…”  
  
“They would need some way to confirm it. Either knowing that we died in the wreckage or afterwards in the water.” Loki’s face fell. “They’re tracking us. The GPS you have, they’re using it to track us. If it gets destroyed while we’re in the ocean, we’ll likely get lost and die, so we have no choice to keep it.”  
  
“Damn… Which means they’ll know where we are when we get to land.”  
  
“At least we’ll have a better means of transportation then. If it’s an automobile, you’re driving though.” You looked at him confused. Loki scoffed, “Please, they took us by surprise once, it won’t happen again. No, anyone who attempts to meet us when we get there will rue the day they were born. I’ll show them real power.” Loki grinned, he was in control of the situation once more. He reveled in chaos but only when he made it.  
  
Loki danced the line of utter chaos and absolute control and he relished every moment of it. You found yourself smiling with him; once Loki was determined, he was definitely a force to be reckoned with.  
  


* * *

  
“I can see land!”  
  
Loki perked up instantly at the sound of your excited voice. A smile cracked his bloody sundried lips.  
It had been of great fortune that you’d managed to salvage one of your bags from the plane. It had drifted farther away and by whatever grace, you and Loki swam into it. Inside had been your S.H.I.E.L.D. meal rations, but more vitally important was two bottles of water. The two of you had only shared a few precious sips each day, unsure of how long you’d be at sea, and trying to make it last as long as possible.  
  
And now, after nearly four days, you could see land slowly expanding on the horizon in both directions. You were less than a mile from shore. Finally, at long last, you could feel your feet hit the shallows and you could no longer swim, instead you trudged along through the sandy beach, salt water trailing from your clothes as you walked.  
  
You looked over and realized Loki was wearing a green outfit, similar to the one he normally wore but with more cloth. He looked at you examining him.  
“What’s with the clothing?” You asked.  
  
Loki looked down confused. “Oh.” He looked back up at you, “I can magick my armour. This is the cloth underneath.” With a golden glow, his regular leather and metal returned.  
  
You glared at him, jealous as you realized he was dry. The cold sea air blew through your wet clothing. The cat suit was water resistant, but the jacket you kept on, knowing you’d be cold eventually, it was only water resistant on the outside. Water had soaked into it after you fell under the waves.  
Loki stood there, still seeming completely unaffected by the cold.  
  
“Why are you not cold?” You said, between shivers and clattering teeth.  
  
Loki’s eyes darkened briefly before he realized what was wrong. He pulled off his green cloak and wrapped it around you, placing his arm around you and holding you close to his body.  
Slowly Loki started to lead you inland, further and further from the water.  
You cast one last glance back, “I’ll miss that bench I think.” You smiled ruefully.  
  
Loki was holding the soiled bag on his other side. You could feel the vibration of his laugh through his body holding you against him. “It was indeed faithful.”  
  
You tucked your head lower, the cold air was doing little to dry your hair. The sun was of no help, for even as you walked, it started to set. “Wait, Loki.” He looked down at you. You sighed, “We have to destroy the GPS. It doesn’t work for calls anyways.”  
  
Loki took out his dagger, removing his arm from around your shoulders and used it to destroy the small device. You frowned at the absence of his warmth. After he dropped it, kicking sand over it, he wrapped his arm back over your shoulders.  
“That’ll alert them, especially because it’s on land when it broke.” You muttered quietly.  
  
Loki nodded, “Further away from the shore,” he pointed, “there’s some tree covering. We can rest there until they arrive, or at least until it’s light.”  
  
“Sound’s good.”  
  
You finally reached the tree line and collapsed to the ground. Loki fell soon after. He grimaced, clenching his teeth as he rolled on his back, not quite able to suppress a moan. His eyes closed as he lay still, trying to even out his breathing.  
  
“We were in the tundra not too long ago,” Loki was silent so you continued, “You made a fire, can you do that here?”  
  
“Not right now…” He murmured, “I’m too tired. Sorry.” He opened his eyes when you didn’t respond. “I haven’t had much to drink or eat.”  
  
You frowned, remembering the tears and marks you couldn’t identify on his jacket. He had been right next to the explosion. “Loki, are you injured?”  
  
“M’fine.” You stared at him incredulously. He opened one bright green eye. “I’ll heal, just give me a few hours, and some water.”  
  
“Alright.”  
  
You handed the water bottle to him and he downed the last of it in a gulp. “Thank you.” He closed his eyes again and was instantly asleep. Desperate for warmth, you curled in closer to him. Sleep was a long time coming, an hour or so before dawn, you finally drifted off.  
  
Loki woke up and felt your warmth next to him, but he ignored it. The night asleep had truly done wonders, although he was still desperate for water. He carefully shifted you over, listening for what had woken him. A soft murmur, followed by a glow of green and you disappeared from sight.  
Loki rolled to his knees and looked around warily. There had been noises, he was certain of it. From nearby he heard a deep rumbling sound. Loki unsheathed your dagger, resting it on top of your still invisible form before stealthing away.  
  
“This is where the tracker hit land and broke!” A man’s voice cut through the air, over the sound of wind and nearby waves.  
  
“Shouldn’t we be quiet?” Another quieter voice called.  
  
“Don’t see why, that explosion should’ve kill them. Then the days at sea, and now the tracker is broken.”  
  
“The tracker broke a few hours ago,” the second voice called back.  
  
“We just got the report a few hours ago.” The first voice retorted.  
  
Then a third voice interrupted, “They’re probably dead, he’s right. But we have to find the bodies, or hopefully some other remains.”  
  
Offering one last glance to see you were still invisible, Loki silently stalked towards the men. He grinned at the jeep parked to the side.  
One of the men was standing on his seat, looking through a pair of binoculars from out of the sunroof. Loki’s movements were quick, efficient and lethal. Two throwing daggers and the binocular man noticed nothing.  
  
Loki walked into the view of the jeep’s headlights, grinning wolfishly. There was a predatory glint in his eyes. “Mortal.” He said calmly, loud enough for the man to hear. The man looked down and let out a sharp gasp. He looked around frantically for his now dead companions. “I am Loki, of Asgard.” Loki grinned wider. The man dropped his binoculars, still searching desperately for his friends as Loki strode closer. “I’m correct in assuming you work for Hydra?”  
  
Finally the man pulled out his gun and fired a clip at Loki. The bullets pelted uselessly from his armour.  
  
“Stand back!” The man shouted before moving down and hurrying to try and start the car.  
  
In a flash, Loki was at the window, he grabbed the man’s arm with one hand and elbowed him in the face. There was a sick crack and the man fell still. Loki opened the door and let the man spill to the ground, his arm hanging at a strange angle. Loki scowled, any injury that was to happen would come later, not while he was unconscious. “You humans are so pathetic…” He muttered.  
  


* * *

  
  
You woke up but your body felt frozen in place. Only your eyes could move as you looked around desperately. A shuffling sound came from nearby and you ached to call out. There was a collapsing sound and Loki stood over you.  
  
“Apologies agent…” He muttered. He waved his hand and you could move again.  
  
“Loki! What the hell?” You said, sitting up and noticed your dagger fall to the ground; it had been previously lying on your chest.  
  
“We had company.” Loki kicked the crumpled heap next to you.  
  
You scooted away, still on your ass before jumping up and wiping the sand off. “Hydra?” You asked.  
  
Loki nodded. “There were three, I killed two of them and they brought a vehicle.”  
  
“What’s with his arm?”  
  
“Mortals are so breakable.” Loki muttered, rather unapologetically.  
  
You sighed. “Let’s go, we’ll talk to him when he wakes up.”  
  
Loki grabbed the man again, staring at him in disgust. The two of you made your way back to the jeep, Loki carelessly dragging the Hydra agent behind him. After a few minutes of looking inside, you noticed something reflecting in the early light.  
  
“Water!” You practically screeched in excitement. There were several other filled bottles available so you grabbed it and downed as much as you could in one gulp. After a deep sigh of contentment, you tossed your useless gun into the backseat and salvaged one from one of the dead agents. You looked around the car on one side, Loki on the other. There was nothing unusual from your standard scouting supplies.  
  
“Anything interesting?” He asked, after enjoying his own bottle of water.  
  
“Hah! A map!” You pulled it out, trying to gauge where you were. “How about you?” You asked, not looking up from the paper.  
  
“They have a fair amount of supplies. It’s hard to say where they came from.” He leaned back, running his finger across his lips idly. “We just destroyed the tracker, so they would have wanted to leave the instant they were aware it was destroyed, unless they were already looking; that’d be a waste of resources since we’re in a desert.”  
  
You lowered the map and looked at him. You could see Loki thinking, once again you were infinitely grateful to have such a skilled tactician on hand. “Ok, details aside, what do you think?” You asked.  
  
Loki hesitated. “Two days, maximum, to their base.”  
  
You nodded and walked over to the front of the car. “Here.” You unfolded the map, “I think this is where we are.”  
  
Loki slid his finger in a circle for the surrounding area. “Any place look promising for a base?”  
  
You bit your lip. “I’m not sure what we’re facing potentially…”  
  
Loki studied you for a moment. Then he sighed, “That’s true. Perhaps we ought not to face this completely alone.”  
  
“Every other mission we’ve been on, we’ve had a rough estimate of the forces we’d face, but this is completely unexplored. We could be looking at an entire operation. And I’d recommend checking to be sure, but I don’t know how close would be safe to go on foot.”  
  
“Particularly since we don’t have any safe method of escape.” Loki muttered.  
  
“Can you wake him up?”  
  
Loki nodded before grabbing the man by his good arm and lifting him up. You closed the map and stepped away. Loki lifted the man and slammed him onto the car, then with a wave of his hand, the guy’s eyes flickered open. The guy screamed then bit down as hard as he could when he noticed the murderous look in Loki’s eyes.  
  
“Alright, big boy, let’s talk.” You spoke calmly. He whimpered and nodded, then glanced at his broken arm. “Who do you work for?”  
  
“Don’t you know?” He whimpered. Loki flicked the man’s arm and chuckled as he let out a pained gasp.  
  
“We can guess and surmise, but I want a baseline answer for your cooperation. So far it’s not looking good. Now I’ll repeat: who do you work for?”  
  
“They’ll kill me.”  
  
Loki grabbed him by the shirt and hoisted him into the air. A sharp scream split the air at the movement of his broken arm. “No. I’ll kill you.” Loki stated calmly before slamming the man back down. Loki glanced at you while the man let out another pained yell.  
  
“Hydra! I work for Hydra!”  
  
“Where are we?” You asked.  
  
“The Western Sahara. The desert, the nearest town isn’t for at least 800 miles.”  
  
You nodded, “Figured as much. Why was our jet destroyed? Who wants us dead?”  
  
“I don’t know!” Loki raised his hand, “please! I don’t know! I’m just a scout. I don’t ask questions.”  
  
Loki lowered his hand. “Where did you drive from?”  
  
“A base…” Loki raised an eyebrow. “Nearby! A base, two days drive or so.”  
  
“How many people are there?”  
  
“A lot, I don’t have a number.” You tilted your head to the side so he continued. “It’s a secret base, only the highest up know about it. I got flown in. I don’t know anything but a large hangar full of vehicles and people running around. It seems massive but I don’t know. I’m just guessing now, please don’t hurt me.”  
  
“An outside scout?” Loki frowned.  
  
“Believable. A large base that S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t know about?”  
  
The man nodded. “It’s completely off the grid, I don’t know how it works at all.”  
  
“You’re also as dense as a rock.” Loki muttered. He glanced at you.  
  
“A super-secret base that doesn’t exist.”  
  
The man nodded desperately. “Look, that’s all I know, please.”  
  
Loki stepped away to talk with you quietly, leaving the man lying on the hood of the car.  
“So by the sounds of it, we might be dealing with one of Hydra’s last few safe havens?” You asked Loki quietly.  
  
He nodded, “It would appear so.”  
  
“We’re going to need back up. We’ll probably be able to find a way to contact the Avengers at that town the guy talked about. I don’t trust any communications with this car.” Then you paused, “What do we do with him?”  
  
“We could kill him.”  
  
You frowned, “In cold blood like that?” You looked back at the car, the man was nowhere in sight. You were about to let out an exasperated curse when Loki’s eyes widened.  
  
“Agent!” He yelled as he shoved you to the side, knocking you to the ground. Loki blocked the knife that was aimed for your back with his left hand, pushing you to the side with his right. In the same movement, he pivoted on his foot and used the momentum to knock the man to the ground before killing him with a glow of green magic.  
  
“Loki!” You jumped to your feet, surprised that Loki had managed this within the space of a few seconds. “Loki, are you ok?”  
  
Loki hissed in pain, gripping his injured hand tightly as blood trickled down. “I’ll be fine.” He muttered, then he looked at you with concern. “Are you?”  
  
“Absolutely, thanks to you. Here, let’s see if they have any first aid…” You started digging through the back of the car as Loki leaned against the door outside.  
  
“I just need something to wipe the blood off, I can heal it well enough.”  
  
“I found some clean rags.”  
  
Loki nodded, “That’ll work.” You carefully took his hand in yours and wrapped it. “Thank you (y/n).” Loki murmured quietly.  
  
You smiled, “No problem. I should be thanking you still.”  
  
Loki shook his head, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”  
  
“I’m sure there’s a tracker on this car; let me find it and we’ll be on our way.” After a surprisingly short amount of time searching, you found the device and tossed it from the car. Then, just before midday, you and Loki stared out across the desert, following the map for the nearest signs of civilization.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings

When night came, you slept in the backseat, Loki keeping watch since he was able to sleep while you drove. You curled up into him, trying to stay warm. Loki smiled as he looked down at your sleeping form, gently stroking your hair.  
  
You woke up and saw him smiling down at you. “Morning.” You said with a yawn.  
  
Loki’s face straightened. “Agent.” He got up quickly and moved back to the front seat. You fell over at his sudden absence but didn’t say anything, only allowing an exasperated groan. The next day was very much the same: driving all day and then sleeping in the backseat, curled up beside Loki.  
  
As you drove the next day, you considered how long it had been. Two full days in the desert heat and quickly moving into the third. You glanced down at the dash and saw that you were dangerously low on fuel, even though by some miracle there had been an extra container in the trunk. You glanced over at Loki and could tell he was suffering the effects of three days in such hot conditions. He had spent most of the previous day in a haze of heat induced pain. You were uncomfortable, sure, but he looked positively miserable.  
  
You were in the middle of nowhere, driving along the coast and desperate to find a city and some way of contacting S.H.I.E.L.D. or the other Avengers.  
It took three days of near constant driving before you made it to a city with any signs of life. It was a small coastal fishing town but you were desperately low on supplies and didn’t have the luxury to be picky.  
  


* * *

  
  
Loki leaned back in the passenger seat, one hand on the door, the other covering his eyes. He groaned. “This wretched desert…”  
  
You had your hair pulled back, trying to cool off as you settled yourself back into driving. You were sweating from the desert heat but Loki looked deathly.  
  
“No heat for you?” You asked, managing a half smile. You were too hot to really make fun of him. Loki was too hot to even bother being upset.  
  
Loki moaned. “Thor and I never spent more time than necessary on Muspelheim… This is barbaric.”  
  
“Muspelheim?”  
  
“The land of fire, fire giants and demons.”  
  
“How long was ‘necessary’?” Then you smirked, trying to make light of the situation, “Did you complain this much too?”  
  
Loki just nodded and kept his eyes covered. After a moment he moved his hand away and evened out his breathing. Ice started to spread from him and his skin seemed to have a faint blue tinge to it. You swore his eyes went to an amber then red color.  
You furrowed your brow. “Loki… are you blue?”  
  
Loki turned away from you and he sat up. The ice disappeared. “What are you talking about?” He spat furiously, glaring at you.  
  
His skin was back to its usual pale color. “Never mind… must’ve been my imagination.” You muttered as you returned your attention to the desert. “Please let that city be close by.” You looked down at the dashboard and watched as the gas arrow plunged closer and closer to empty.  
  
An hour or so passed and you let out a shriek of delight. On the horizon you could see a decent sized city. In what felt like no time, you found yourselves at a gas station. Then you pulled to a stop and shook Loki out of his heat daze.  
  
He sat up and looked around warily. “I don’t like this place.” He muttered after a moment.  
  
You, too, scanned the gas station, it was eerie and so far out on the edge of the town. It held a creepy abandoned look to it but you could see signs of a cashier moving around inside. Biting your lip, you nodded, “Unfortunately, we’re out of gas and don’t have any other choices.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly. There was a sign on the gas pumps that read: ‘Cash only, pay inside first.’ Sometimes you felt bad having Loki create money with illusions, this was not one of those times.  
  
“Do you want to pay or do you remember how to use the gas pump?”  
  
Loki looked between the pump and the gas station. The uneasy feeling grew with each second. If you went inside, you would be completely blocked from his view and susceptible to anyone inside. If he went inside, you’d be out of view but not so easily surrounded.  
“I’ll pay.” He muttered.  
  
You nodded then touched his shoulder reassuringly. “We’ll be fine, in and out.” You jerked your head towards the station. “There’s even a window by the clerk.” Loki slowly got out of the car, stumbling slightly at first but quickly regaining himself. You followed his actions, trying to mask your growing concern. “Oh, and get some water. Our food is fine but we could use more water.”  
  
Loki glanced back and nodded. Taking a deep breath, he headed inside. The sound of a ringing bell announced his arrival and he glanced up warily. The glass door swung shut but he was able to see you waving through it from outside by the car.  
  
With a strained smile, Loki walked to the cash register and glared down at the clerk. The clerk was sweating nervously. Loki cast another look out the window and saw you outside looking around.  
“Full tank,” Loki laid the cash on the counter. The clerk nodded and pressed a button. Loki stared coldly at the man, his every nerve on end. Barely perceptible, the clerk shook his head. Loki’s heart sank. “Damn…” He breathed softly. A sudden squealing of tires and loud crashes could be heard outside, then all around the shop.  
  
Loki spun around as a door leading to the backroom burst open. A dozen masked men charged at him, guns drawn. Loki dispatched a few with his knives before turning towards the door. There was a scream from outside and the door swung open.  
A tall dark haired man with a gruesome scar cutting his face in two walked towards Loki.  
Loki reached for his knives then realized the man held you in his arms, a knife to your stomach and a strange collar on your throat. The collar caused Loki to hesitate.  
  
“Good.” The man nodded at Loki. Loki’s fist clenched and unclenched on the knife’s hilt. “This dagger will kill her. There’s five agents around you, each with triggers. If any one of them releases their trigger, the collar will tighten and snap her neck.”  
  
Loki dropped his knife to the floor and clenched his teeth knowing he couldn’t lose your. Not only could he not lose you due to being assigned to protect you, Loki realized he couldn’t personally lose you. He didn’t want to lose you.  
  
“And what do you want?” Loki asked evenly, keeping all emotion from his voice, barely hiding his panic.  
  
“You’re coming with us. If we lose sight of you, she dies, if any of us are unable to hold their triggers, she dies. We know you can mess with minds, so if any of us starts to behave strangely, she dies.” Loki nodded at the man’s words, his throat felt dry. “Also, none of us know which trigger will kill her, maybe they all will, so good luck knowing who is safe to kill.”  
  
Loki’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Then let’s go. And know that if you kill her, if you hurt her in any way.” Loki stepped forward and could see every one of the men around him grip their triggers fearfully, “not one of you will be spared. And I hope for all your sakes that you don’t have any loved ones. Because I can promise you, I will find them, and I will make them suffer.” Loki’s voice was venomous. “And I’ll make sure they’re very aware of why they’re dying.” Then he paused. “Or maybe I won’t, maybe I’ll feel merciful and watch as I make you kill your own loved ones, and I will certainly make sure you laugh as you do it. Are we clear?” As he spoke, Loki looked around the room, staring each person in the eye until they were forced to look away.  
  
The man with the scar nodded. “Good luck with that.” Though the fear in his eyes was evident. “Cuff him.”  
  
Heavy metal restraints were placed over Loki’s hands and forearms. The man with the scar pulled out another trigger and pressed the button. Electricity shot through Loki’s arms and he stumbled over, grunting in pain. Rough arms dragged him outside to the waiting vans. Loki was forced into one van while you were tossed unceremoniously in the other. Loki pulled himself into a sitting position and closed his eyes, trying to process what just happened.  
  


* * *

  
  
Loki didn’t know how long passed before he found himself being led through a near labyrinth of hallways, deep into the bowels of an underground bunker. He reached a door that opened of its own accord, before being shoved inside. The door slammed shut behind him.  
He looked around warily, finding himself in a large metal room, completely empty, save for a flat metal table on the side. He made short work of the restraints and they fell to the floor with a heavy thud. Loki frowned as he stood there looking around. It was warmer than when he first entered.  
  
A voice filled the air, but Loki couldn’t tell from where. “I will be lowering a screen for you to look at, I advise not destroying it or you will miss the lovely video.”  
  
Just as the voice said, a screen lowered down the wall and Loki eyed it warily. The black flickered to life and he could see an image of you lying on a floor in an empty concrete cell. You were completely still but he could make out the faint rise and fall of your chest as you breathed. Beside you was a guard holding a gun to your head.  
  
Loki gulped but remained silent.  
  
“Good, I see you recognize her. Now then, let’s talk.” Loki remained silent, staring fixedly at the screen. “You may notice the temperature of the room is steadily rising.”  
  
Loki had felt sweat beading on his forehead but he had tried to convince himself it was just coincidental. Loki nodded, then smirked. “It is a tad warm for my liking.”  
  
“You’re in a vacuum sealed room. I can control the temperature to  _my_  liking, as well as access to oxygen. I’m sure you noticed how deep underground you are.”  
  
Loki nodded again. Then he sighed, “And you wish to torture me, I take it.”  
  
The screen flickered and a man’s face appeared. He was shrouded in darkness so his facial features were indistinguishable. “Anonymity is preferred when dealing with my clients, as there is a chance you might leave.” He paused before adding, “When I’m through with you of course.”  
  
Loki raised his eyebrow. “How polite.” It infuriated him, realizing how little control he had over the situation. No, not little, he had no control.  
  
The room continued a steady rise in temperature and Loki tried to hide his discomfort. He closed his eyes, allowing ice to form around him then he stopped as he reopened them. The man on the screen was silent. Loki breathed in, something felt wrong. He breathed in again, deeper this time. What was wrong? He blinked hard, feeling sleepy suddenly. The corners of his vision started to slowly and steadily darken. Sluggishly, Loki sat down as his thinking became slower and more difficult.  
  
 _‘Oxygen.’_  A voice in his head strained to break through the fog of his mind. Oxygen… they were depriving him of oxygen. His own breathing was… what was his own breathing doing? He tried to slow it down, hiding the growing panic.  
  
No oxygen… His breathing… His breathing was…  
  
Another thought broke through the fog. ‘ _Carbon dioxide_.’ Breathing out… breathing out was lessening the oxygen in the room. It was a vacuum. The only thing letting in oxygen was a pump from someplace… they cut off the… cut off the… oxygen.  
  
Loki closed his eyes, he was so tired. Maybe if he just rested a bit, that would help. The room continued to grow warmer. Loki opened his eyes and was vaguely aware of two people in white suits moving around. They wore gas masks and hazmat type suits. Temperature control.  
  
Then there was more oxygen and Loki could feel himself waking up. He still wanted to sleep but his vision was returning. He blinked hard, trying to remember the situation.  
  
It was so hot. He felt sick. Muspelheim had nothing on this room’s temperature.  
  
But oxygen, sweet oxygen. Loki found himself breathing again. He could think. He stood up, his movements were still sluggish. Angrily, he lunged at the two figures, even as exhausted as he was, his strength was still enough to knock them to the ground. With two flicks of his wrists, their necks snapped and they lay unmoving at his feet.  
  
The voice returned. “Good, you can feel again.” Loki looked down and noticed the metal restraints were back on his arms. He frowned. Electrical currents coursed through him and he gasped, shocked by the sudden pain. Falling to his knees, Loki could barely hold himself up. “I’m sending in myself and my workers.”  
Loki looked towards where the door had been, ready to lunge again. Then the electricity doubled its intensity, he stayed still, barely containing himself in the pain and wanting desperately to cry out. Three people walked in, all wearing the same white outfits as the two lying dead beside Loki.  
“Put him on the table.” One of the muffled voices commanded.  
  
Loki found himself too weak to resist as they hauled him onto his back and the hard metal table. Somewhere along the line, his shirt had been removed, and unfortunately the metal table was heated and instead of being a cool relief, it added another style of pain. Still the temperature in the room increased, and still the currents ran through his arms, although the pain from them was duller.  
  
“Shall we begin?” The man revealed a set of knives and other sharp tools.  
Loki turned his head towards them weakly. The man chose a rusty blade and shoved it into Loki’s side. Loki shook, clenching his jaw shut to stop the scream that so desperately wanted to escape.  
“Feel free to scream, they say it helps relieve the pain. It releases endorphins and eases the mind.”  
  
Loki laughed weakly. “Screaming is for lesser beings-“ this time the knife dragged down his chest. “I know a guy…” He breathed out, “He would be…” Loki grit his teeth with the next wound, “impressed.”  
  
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”  
  
Loki laughed softly. “Please,” he scoffed. Another slice. “Not jealous, only impressed.” He hissed in pain with the next one. “You’ll have to do better before this creature would care.”  
  
“Well, I assure you, we have all the time in the world.” The man replied as he inflicted more pain.  
  
Loki’s laugh was short and harsh. “Human, you will be old and frail long before then.”  
  
“I have confidence that you will break far sooner.” He grabbed a different tool and continued his ministrations. “Now, shall we talk?”  
  
“What about?” Loki chuckled, “The weather?” His offer was followed by more pain.  
  
“Are you an Avenger?”  
  
Loki shrugged. “It’s possible.”  
  
“Good, good. I appreciate your cooperation.” There was no pain this time. Loki opened his eyes and looked at the man. A bucket of scalding water was poured on him and Loki groaned again. No screaming.  
  
“I’ve been told that this sort of thing seems to be like quite the hobby for me. What’s next?” Loki asked through gritted teeth.  
  
“Who is the woman with you?”  
  
“I’ve heard the proper answer is ‘bite me.’” He answered. A hot metal rod collided against his torso. Loki closed his eyes again.  
  
“Who do you work for?” The man was starting to grow annoyed.  
  
“For someone who seems so confident with himself, you’re easily upset.” Loki said, he managed to assume a bored voice.  
  
“Who do you work for?” The man repeated.  
  
“I don’t recall.”  
  
“You better start recalling.” The man hissed.  
  
“The name escapes me.” Loki smirked but writhed as the heated rod stayed on his skin longer.  
  
“Tell me about the other Avengers.”  
  
“Why?” More pain.  
  
“Tell me about the other Avengers.”  
  
“Oh do ask me something else, this is getting boring.” Loki growled sarcastically. He could feel his warm sticky blood running down his torso.  
  
“Answer my damned questions!” The man yelled, striking Loki harder.  
  
Loki laughed, it was harsh and cold. He thought about the difference with this man and Thanos.  Thanos was far more creative and he had the added ability of healing wounds before continuing. With these mortals, he would eventually forget everything but pain. Thanos allowed him to remember a time before it, that’s where the agony truly differed. This was certainly horrible but really…  
  
“Answer me!” The man yelled again. The knife dug in deeper and Loki gasped in pain, cutting off any clever reply. “You and the woman. You have been working together for several months, yes?” Loki frowned thoughtfully. The man struck him again, “What information did you gather?” Loki spat at the man, who then trailed the knife across his chest, from his hip and then deep into his shoulder. “Roll him over.” The man angrily ordered. His two assistants did as he ordered and Loki lay on his stomach.  
  
“Fantastic, this is far more comfortable.” More pain.  
  
“My patience is growing thin.” Pain.  
  
“I’m having a marvelous time.” Loki growled, gritting his teeth as the knife sank deeper into his back. “The mortals call this ‘twenty questions’, I believe.” Any time he paused in speaking, pain seemed to come from a new place. “Don’t I get a turn?” Loki felt dizzy as he looked at one of the assistants. “What about you?” The room was still heating up and Loki could barely think straight. He breathed in deeply, trying to focus himself.  
  
The assistant started to mumble incoherently then he started shaking, “Stop it!” The assistant shrieked, grabbing one of the knives from the table. He plunged it into Loki’s skin as he desperately tried to stop the strange noises in his head. Loki grinned maliciously.  
  
“DO NOT!” Their leader roared at his underling.  
  
“I like him.” Loki’s voice was cut off by another hiss of pain brought on by a series of knives raking along his flesh. He laughed then tried to move over and look at the other person. And yet still, there was more pain.  
  
The third agent yelled, “You’re going to kill him!”  
  
Loki couldn’t even tell where the agony was coming from, it was constant and everywhere and suddenly he felt himself collapsing and everything grew dark.


	30. Chapter 30

You groaned as you slowly came to. The first thing you noticed was an aching in your head and that you were lying on a cold hard surface. Your cheek was pressed to the ground and you slowly tried to lift yourself up into a sitting position. After a moment you opened your eyes.  
  
You were in a dingy cell, concrete floors and walls and dim lighting. You tried to stand up but the throbbing in your skull was too much so you stayed still. What had happened…?  
  
‘ _Loki_!’ You suddenly remembered and looked around desperately. He was nowhere to be seen. After a moment you spoke out loud, “Loki?” Your voice was weak. How long had you been passed out? You cleared your throat and asked louder. “Loki?”  
  
Suddenly the steel door opened and a man in a white coat stepped in. He had short, close cropped grey hair, turning white in some places. He was short and stout and had thick black glasses. Something about him seemed medical, like he was a doctor of sorts.  
  
“Who are you?” You asked, finally making it to your feet. “Where’s Loki?” Your eyes narrowed at him.  
  
The grey haired man smirked at you. He raised a hand and gestured with two fingers. You looked behind him and saw a pair of guards dressed all in black, then something was thrown into the room and landed with a thud. You looked over and realized it was a person.  
  
The black hair and leather armour…  
  
You could recognize it anywhere. “Loki!” You ran over and knelt beside him. He didn’t move. You held your hand in front of his mouth and desperately checked his pulse. His breathing was labored and his pulse weaker than any you’d known before, but it was there.  
Looking up at the man, you growled furiously, “What did you do to him?”  
  
“It seems he’s quite susceptible to heat.” The man smiled this time, like he’d made a clever joke.  
  
You looked back at Loki and noticed the dark circles under his eyes, he was covered in a sheen of sweat. What concerned you the most was how still he was.  
“And what do you want?” You demanded as you slowly stood up.  
  
“You two are Avengers, no?” The man smirked when you stared at him silently. “For now, information. Perhaps,” he paused, “after you are no longer of use to us, you can be used as a ransom.”  
  
This time you smirked and he looked at you uncertainly. “You thought you could torture information out of him? I thought S.H.I.E.L.D. actually had competent enemies.” You scoffed. Then you glanced back down at Loki’s unmoving form, barely managing to hide your concern.  
  
The man’s arm shot forward and his hand struck your face, your head snapped to the side and you could feel the stinging on your cheek.  
“We only need one of you alive.” He hissed.  
  
You stared at him unflinching, though you knew your cheek was bright red. “Good luck with that.” You spat at him. This time he struck your face with the back of his hand. You grit your teeth but remained silent.  
  
“Your death will be slow and painful.”  
  
“You better hope it works, because I can promise you, I will come back for you and repay this favour tenfold.”  
  
A flash of doubt crossed his eyes, but when he glanced back at the well-armed guards, his confidence returned. “Good luck with that.” He mocked. Then he turned and exited the room.  
  
As soon as the door slammed shut, you ran and knelt by Loki’s side. “Loki!” You hissed. “Loki, wake up!” He didn’t respond.  _’He’s susceptible to heat.’_  the mocking words of your captor crossed your mind.  
You gently laid your hand on Loki’s face. It was warm and clammy.  
  
-  
 _”Hey Thor?”  
  
“Yes lady-“ you raised your eyebrow at the tall blond-haired Asgardian. “Err, (y/n)?”  
  
“I saw images of Loki back on the helicarrier.” Thor waited for you to continue. “His heat signature was really low, he should be cold.” Thor nodded. “But he’s not.”  
  
Thor shrugged. “Loki is naturally colder than most. His warmth on contact is merely a physical illusion.”  
  
You nodded, that made sense. “How come he’s so much colder? I mean there are people who are cold, but his heat signature was barely visible in comparison to some of the room around him.”  
  
“Perhaps you should ask him?”  
  
You nodded, uncertain, and bit your lip. “I feel like it might piss him off.” Thor chuckled. “He kinda hates me.”  
  
Sighing, Thor answered, “Loki is complex, it is hard to tell what he thinks of people. But I don’t believe he hates you.”  
  
You raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Really? He always seems annoyed when I’m around.”  
  
“I don’t presume to know what my brother thinks, sometimes I’m not sure if he knows what he thinks.” You nodded thoughtfully. “I do thank you for working with him, even if he can be difficult.”  
  
You grinned, “Sure he’s difficult, but everyone can be, don’t you think?”  
Thor simply smiled and inclined his head. _  
-  
  
“If you’re normally really cold and they overheated you…” You murmured under your breath, mostly talking to yourself. There was a glimmer of hope that Loki would react but he remained silent. ‘ _You showed up on earth-Midgard with symptoms of heat exhaustion. Like you’d been tortured._ ’ Your eyes widened as you remembered your own words.  
“They must’ve put you in an oven or something.” You felt panic start to seep into you. You closed your eyes and inhaled then exhaled slowly. Even if time was of the essence, losing your mind in a panic would only cause you to lose more time later.  
You tried shaking him but he still didn’t respond. Pressing your palms against your forehead you tried to think. “Heat exhaustion, get them cooled off.”  
  
Moving your hands from your face, you looked around for water or anything cool. “Loki, wake up,” you looked at him again. You sighed then forced a smile, “Dumbass, are you gonna force a pathetic mortal to save you?” He was silent. “And here I thought you were a god, can’t even break out of a Midgardian jail.” Your smile fell as he remained silent and unmoving. “C’mon, hey, wake up.” You touched his hand and it still felt achingly warm.   
  
Well, now was definitely the time to pay Loki back for saving you. You shook your head, trying to clear it. You had grown so accustomed to Loki that you were forgetting your training. Mentally, you berated yourself for allowing that to happen.  
  
Scanning the cell, you noticed part of the old steel wall was rusting in places. You got up and started tracing your hand along it, looking for any weak or fractured parts. You stopped as your finger slid over a lip where the metal had warped. With a strong kick, a chunk of steel fell to the ground and you picked it up. You traced your fingers along it and decided it was sharp enough for what you needed.  
  
You moved back over to Loki and continued thinking. Whoever was holding you captive wouldn’t want you dead, which meant they had to feed you.  
  
You stared over at the steel door and noticed a flap where a tray could be pushed through. You looked at the piece of metal in your hand and grinned. But first, you had to wait. Looking back at Loki, your heart sank. He looked so exhausted.  
“Don’t worry Loki, I’ll get you out of here.” You murmured as you sat down, cradling his head in your lap, trying to stroke the hair from his face. “That’s what partners do, we protect each other.” Then you smiled and added softly, “That’s what friends do, ok? You’re my friend.”  
  
What felt like hours seemed to pass, then finally you heard noises at the door. Gingerly lying Loki’s head on the ground, you approached the door. You watched the flap open and a tray, followed by a hand slid through.  
“Food for the prisoners-“ the man’s voice cut off with a startled yelp as you grabbed his wrist, twisting it sharply.  
  
The tray clattered to the floor and you hissed, “Open the door or I’ll kill you.” You could feel his pulse increasing.  
  
“With what?”  
  
You placed the cold edge of the steel on his arm. “This.”  
  
You could hear the man gulping. “If I don’t come back, they’ll come looking.”  
  
“True, but I’m sure they won’t be worried for at least fifteen minutes, do you think you’ll have that kind of time?” There was silence from the other side of the door. “Good boy, now open the door.”  
  
He paused. “You’re holding my arm.”  
  
“You have two hands, I’m sure you can manage.” You growled.  
  
Another moment of silence and the door swung open. It revealed a man standing on the other side, you still held his hand through the slit in the door.  
“I opened the door, let me go.” He pleaded. You pulled his head down and it collided with your knee, the man fell to the ground silently.  
  
You glanced back at Loki. “Look at me, dumbass, I’m doing all this work and you’re just sleeping there.” Now that the door was opened and the guard incapacitated, you felt the familiar sense of dread returning. “Please Loki, just answer me, anything. Call me a mewling quim, go on, you like insulting people. You can still snap my neck, right?” Loki remained silent.  
You searched the guard’s pockets but found nothing useful. “Alright, let’s go.” You walked over to Loki and managed to hook his arm over your shoulders before you slowly started to drag him away.  
  
-  
 _You sat in your seat near the back of the room, tapping your pencil in boredom.  
There was an agent at the front of the classroom full of new recruits. “Now the thing to remember, as a field agent here at S.H.I.E.L.D., there is a chance you will be placed in dangerous and potentially painful situations. Every one of you agreed to this possibility when you signed up for field work, we cannot guarantee your safety. You may be tortured at our enemies’ hands but that is the price of fighting for justice.” There was a murmur of discomfort throughout the room.  
“In such an event,” he continued, “there are two typical strategies of avoiding the pain, because the secrets you may know will be more important than your life.” The agent looked around the room. “Is there anyone here who is not prepared for that kind of commitment? We will think no less of you if so.”  
  
A few people quietly stood and shuffled from the room, heads down. You watched them silently then returned your attention to the instructor.  
  
He nodded at the front of the room. “Admitting your weakness takes just as much strength sometimes. Those who left are no less important to S.H.I.E.L.D. than any other.” The remaining agents sat there quietly, waiting for his instructions. “Some people will retreat to what is often thought of as their happy place.” There was slight laughter around the room and he smiled. “If you can keep your mind in that spot, you are capable of ignoring the pain. Pain is psychological, it is your body’s way of telling you that it doesn’t like what’s happening and makes you want to change the current course of events. If you can manage to ignore that pain, no secret will make it from you.” He paused, “However, that takes extreme self-control and years of practice that not many manage to achieve. Each of you has a serial number, should you find yourself being tortured, repeat that number to yourself. It will become your sole being and the only thing you think of. With that in mind, should they ask you any questions, you will only answer with that serial number.”  
_-  
  
Years to master? Loki is nigh on immortal, that makes sense that he could escape the pain. It must not be as bad as before his attack on earth though. You recalled his expression after one of his nightmares.  
  
You grunted as you dragged him along, “For being so lean, you’re awfully heavy…” You muttered as you looked around, trying to figure out how to get out of this place.  
You leaned Loki against a wall and bent over, hands on your knees, trying to catch your breath. “I don’t know where your mind is at Loki, but you can come back, it’s safe, I’m here with you.” You whispered softly, touching your forehead to his.  
  
You rubbed your thumb across his cheek, wiping the sweat away. He was still so warm.  
  
Loki’s eyes fluttered open. The green irises, instead of vivid and bright, struck you as being more clouded. “(Y/n)?” He murmured softly.  
  
“Loki!” You smiled and tried to hold back tears.  
  
Loki didn’t move, closing his eyes again. “Where are we?” He murmured.  
  
“I’m not sure.” You knelt down beside him, absently stroking his hair.  
  
A small smile played on the corner of his mouth but upon hearing your words, he simply answered, “Oh.” He was quiet for a moment before asking, his eyes still closed, “Are we dead? It hurts too much… but Odin said he was proud of me… Frigga was there too.” He smiled deliriously, “You look so beautiful, but then you always do.” You could barely make out what he was saying.  
  
You pressed your fingers to his lip, “Don’t worry, Odin’s proud of you, so am I, we’re all proud of you. But we need to get you out of here, I need you to walk some, can you do that? I’m too weak to carry you, I’m just a pathetic mortal.” You smiled, your eyes felt teary and you were glad that Loki couldn’t see it. Loki breathed out softly, it seemed like a laugh. “C’mon dumbass, you said you’re a god, how are you supposed to rule us if you can’t even walk?”  
  
This seemed to pull Loki to his senses. He opened his eyes but they still seemed clouded over like he couldn’t see.  
“Trying to test my patience?” Loki muttered softly. He moved to stand up but groaned and slid back down the wall. Suddenly he looked scared, lost and childlike. “I can’t stand.”  
  
“Here.” You hooked his arm over your shoulder and started leading him again. Loki’s help made the walk faster but it was still excruciatingly slow. You glanced down and noticed blood seemed to be seeping out from his jacket, it left a trail of droplets behind you like some sort of perverse Hansel and Gretel story. You gulped trying to shake the vivid red color from your mind, you didn’t dare imagine just how bad he looked under his armour.  
You felt Loki growing heavier as he slipped back into unconsciousness. More time passed and you found the air changing. It felt fresher, like you weren’t underground. “I think we’re going in the right direction.” You whispered.  
  
There was a door up ahead and you pushed it open. You found yourself inside a giant hangar filled with hundreds of vehicles, from motorcycles to jet fighters. Closest to you was a jeep.  
Moving as quickly and quietly as you could, you made your way to the passenger side before shoving Loki in and buckling the seatbelt. You quietly sneaked around to the other side and crawled in the driver’s seat.  
  
There were no keys.  
  
Shrugging, you found yourself appreciating that you had taken the time to learn how to hot rig a car.   
  
Just as the engine roared to life, sirens started sounding. “Escaped prisoners. Repeat. Escaped prisoners. One male, one female. Male is black haired, green eyed, 6’2. Highly dangerous. Female…” You ignored their description of you and floored the gas, driving through the scrambling soldiers.  
People dived out of the way, trying to avoid the jeep. The hangar doors started to close, driving towards the nearest one, you threw the bit of metal and it lodged into the door’s engine, long enough for you to drive out.  
  
Then you were out and flying across the desert at top speed, a huge cloud of dust in your wake. Glancing over at the still unconscious Loki, you groaned when you realized there was no air conditioning. You returned your focus to the desert in front of you, occasionally looking down at the dash for signs of a GPS or any way for you to figure out where you were going. There were a series of random buttons that you started mashing desperately, hoping that something would happen. After a few minutes, a small map showed up. You grinned as you noticed there was a city not all that far away, comparatively speaking anyways.  
  
“Loki, there’s a city.” You glanced over at him, he was still silent, leaning against the door in obvious pain. “Just hang in there, ok?” Loki didn’t answer. You didn’t know why, but talking to him helped calm your nerves, even if he didn’t respond. You couldn’t stop your nervous laugh.  
  
You had been driving since late afternoon and it was nearing sunrise when you first saw the small town. With great strength of will, you forced the car to slow down enough to appear like all the other civilian vehicles. After driving for fifteen minutes or so, you saw a sign for a cheap motel.  
“We’ll cool you down Loki, just a little longer.”  
  


* * *

  
  
The door to the motel opened and the clerk at the counter look up. “Hello miss, looking for a room?”  
  
You smiled. “Yep, two adults.” The clerk looked around. “He’s waiting in the car. We just came from drinking, he’s pretty smashed, can’t handle his alcohol at all.”  
  
The man laughed, “I know that sort.” He handed you the room key, “Let me know if you need anything.”  
  
You turned to walk away then paused, “Actually, can you help me get him into the room? I don’t want to wake him up just yet.”  
  
“Sure thing!”  
  
  
  
After a couple minutes, the clerk managed to help you drag Loki into the room and plop him onto the bed. If the clerk thought Loki’s clothing was unusual, he didn’t comment on it.  
  
“Damn! That guy sure is heavy for such a lean fellow.”  
  
You nodded, “No kidding.”  
  
“You should get him some water, he looks awfully sick.”  
  
“Yea, I was going to ask about some ice too.”  
  
“Just around the corner.”  
  
“Thanks!” You beamed at the man.  
  
“Anything else?”  
  
You thought for a second. Would your captors come after you to this motel? “Well,” You paused, knowing he would wait for you to continue. Sounding sheepish, you continued, “One of the best ways to work off a hangover is exercise they say.”  
  
The man shrugged, “The last thing this guy will want to do is exercise when he wakes up.”  
  
You winked at the clerk, “I’m sure there are other physical activities that he’d be up for.”  
  
The clerk’s mouth dropped open and you could see his cheeks growing red. “I uh…” He looked around flustered.  
  
You giggled, “If you wouldn’t mind not disturbing us…”  
  
“Right, right of course.” He stammered and quickly exited the room, doing his best to avoid eye contact.  
  
Once the door clicked shut, you waited a few moments, wanting to be sure the man was gone. Then you rolled your eyes, praying Loki hadn’t heard you; he’d never stop laughing at you if so. Loki was still on the bed and not moving.  
  
You hurried into the bathroom and turned the water of the bathtub on as cold as possible. Then, checking to make sure the clerk wasn’t looking, you hurried outside and grabbed several bags of ice.  
When you got back to the room, Loki still hadn’t moved. Biting your lip, you pulled him off the bed and dragged him into the bathroom with the icy bathtub.  
  
You sighed and felt your face turn bright red, “Sorry…” You muttered. Carefully, and doing everything you could to avoid looking at him, you started fumbling with the many complex buckles on his jacket. Just as you were growing angry enough to try and find a way to cut it off, you finally managed to find the last clasp and pull his jacket and then shirt off.  
  
Now that you could see his bare chest before you, you were able to see the full extent of the injuries. Never had you seen someone so badly injured: numerous burns and deep, jagged gashes completely covered his torso. There was blood everywhere, and you felt yourself growing nauseous. This was one of your closest friend’s lifeforce pooling on you and the floor around you.  
He was still painfully warm so you turned your focus to his pants. You took off his boots and then closing your eyes and muttering a mixture of curses and apologies you carefully undid his pants. Luckily he had boxers underneath and you allowed yourself a small sigh of relief. You desperately hoped your blush would be gone by the time he woke up.  
  
With one last burst of effort, you pushed Loki into the tub of cold water. You sighed and leaned against the wall, completely exhausted. Closing your eyes, you could feel sleep begging at the edge of your vision.  
  
Instead, you forced yourself to get up and grab a washcloth and other towels, trying to staunch the flow of blood wherever possible. You hissed as your hands touched the freezing water but you ignored it, completely focused on helping Loki. He still wasn’t moving.  
  
Finally you placed your hand over his mouth and nose, submerging him under the water. You counted to three and his eyes shot open.  
Loki sat up gasping as you moved away. With a sigh, you leaned back on your heels and smiled before closing your eyes. “Hey dumbass…”  
  
You heard Loki chuckle weakly, “Mortal…” He murmured.  
  
Once more, you forced yourself to get up and brought a chair into the bathroom so you would be able to talk to Loki at a better angle. He closed his eyes and the two of you sat there silently for a time. Finally you growled, “Don’t ever do that to me again.” Loki opened his eyes and looked at you confused, the irises were bright green once again. “Don’t make me save you like that.” You looked away and mumbled quietly, “Don’t let me lose you.”  
  
Loki laughed softly, “Sorry.”  
  
“Also, you’re really heavy.” You smiled weakly.  
  
“Your bedside manners are deplorable.” He coughed weakly before dipping his head back under the water. “I missed you.” He whispered quietly.  
  
“I missed you too. I thought I lost you.”  
  
“I’m not going anywhere just yet.” He smiled at you. Occasionally he would dip his head back under the water and his skin was slowly returning to its normal pallor and temperature. You had wrapped some of the extra towels around him to staunch the blood, but the water was still tinged red. “So what happened?” He asked after a while.  
  
“I woke up in a cell, then they tossed you in and said you’d been tortured. It looked like heat exhaustion.”  
  
Loki nodded, “It felt like they were cooking me alive.” He looked down at the badly covered injuries on his chest, then turned his gaze to you and saw the dried blood on your clothes as well as the dark bruises on your cheeks.  
  
You followed his gaze. “Oh the blood is yours.”  
  
He smirked, then frowned as he registered the bruises on your face. “And what happened to your face?”  
  
“Ahh…” You chuckled, letting out a long breath of air and looking up at the ceiling sheepishly, “I was making fun of the guy and he got pissed off and hit me.”  
  
Loki’s eyes flashed angrily. “And he was my torturer, yes?” You nodded. Loki fell silent, contemplating what happened. Then, “Agent… where are my clothes?”  
  
You rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment, “Over there.” You inclined your head towards the doorway. “You were so warm, I didn’t know what else to do.”  
  
Loki could sense the worry in your voice, “Thank you (Y/n), truly, I’m not sure what would have happened…” He trailed off, and you waved your hand.  
  
“Don’t worry about it. That’s what partners do.” You stood up, your legs shaking with the effort. “I’m going to go call S.H.I.E.L.D., get us extracted.”  
  
“Very well, I’ll get out of this bath then.”  
  
You left Loki and went into the main area of the room and picked up the phone.  
  
It rang for a short time before a voice answered, “Taxi service.”  
  
“Yes, taxi for two. My credit number is…” you listed off a series of numbers.  
  
The operator was silent for another moment and you waited hesitantly. “Oh right, I see your number right here. How was your vacation?”  
  
You glanced towards the bathroom. “We’ve had better.”  
  
“Certainly. We’re sorry to hear. How about the hotels in your area, any signs of bedbugs?”  
  
Loki walked into the room, still adjusting his shirt, though his pants were back on. He heard the operator ask and mouthed at you questioningly, “Bugs?”  
  
You shook your head and mouthed back. “Code words.” You returned to the receiver as he slowly sat on the bed. “I haven’t seen any bites.” You managed a laugh. “But you never know.”  
  
“Well, we can get a taxi out to your location in five hours or so. Will that be all?”  
  
“Yes, that’s it thanks. Although if you could hurry, we have a few flat tires.”  
  
“It’s on the way.”  
  
You hung up and sat down on the bed beside Loki. He studied you carefully and asked, “Bed bugs?”  
  
“It’s code for being spied on. It works because there are a lot of shady motels with actual bedbugs.” You closed your eyes as you spoke. You could hear Loki shifting uncomfortably as he looked around. “Don’t worry, I checked for literal bugs already.”  
He was still again. He opened his mouth to say something else and saw that you had fallen asleep. A smile played across his lips as he too fell asleep.  
  


* * *

  
  
A few hours later, the two of you woke to the sound of engines overhead. You opened your eyes and rubbed them groggily before groaning and standing up. All your muscles felt stiff and in pain. You felt your face and knew the bruises were setting in.  
  
Loki opened his piercing green eyes and looked around too. Blood had started to seep through the towels while he slept. “Loki,” you reached towards Loki, wanting to help him but not sure how.  
  
He pushed your hand away gently, “Don’t worry, I’ll heal.”  
  
“Right.” You helped him to his feet and looked out the window. “It’s S.H.I.E.L.D.” You smiled and sighed with relief. “Oh look, Thor.”  
  
As you said that, the door was violently kicked in and you jumped when Thor appeared through the debris. “Loki!” He ran forward and grabbed his brother in a tight hug. Loki hissed in pain. Thor’s eyes widened as he stepped back to inspect Loki. “Brother, what happened?” Thor turned to you and pulled you into a tight hug. “(Y/n), I’m glad to see you’re okay as well.”  
  
You managed a weak smile. “Yea, we’re in one piece.”  
  
“They said you were badly injured.” Thor looked around. “We hadn’t heard anything from you since the wedding. It’s been almost two weeks since we heard from you.” He hesitated as he looked between you and Loki. “I know you often spend time outside of our communication range, so I figured…”  
  
“Things didn’t go like we originally planned.” You muttered, running your hand through your hair.  
  
Thor noticed the bruises on your face and the bloodied wrappings on Loki, as well as the signs that he was still recovering from heat exhaustion. “Who did this to you brother?” Thor turned to you.  
  
You shook your head and leaned against the wall. “We’ve only been here for eight hours or so, plus however long it took to drive to get here.”  
  
Loki sat back on the bed, he still looked so weak. “They noticed my poor relation with heat.”  
  
Thor clenched his jaw. “I’m so sorry brother, I should’ve protected you.” Thor turned to glare at you, and you shrank back. It was your job to protect Loki, he was your partner and you had failed.  
  
As if sensing both yours and Thor’s thoughts, Loki spoke, “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Thor, I’ve been injured in your company before and you helped me, (Y/n) did the same. Things would be quite different if she hadn’t gotten me out.”  
  
Thor rubbed his head tiredly, “I’m sorry (y/n), I merely-“  
  
You cut him off, “Don’t worry about it, you’re a protective older brother. I would be doing the same thing. And you’re right, if anyone should be blamed, it is me. If I hadn’t let myself get captured so easily, Loki wouldn’t have been injured. Hell, if I had thought to double check on our mission, we probably wouldn’t be in this situation period. I’m Loki’s partner, I shouldn’t have let this happen.”  
  
Loki groaned and rolled his eyes, “Don’t be a fool (y/n), there’s nothing you could have done, and you can hardly be blamed for not knowing.”  
  
“Well, I’m glad you’re safe now.” Thor murmured. Then he looked at you, “You saved Loki?”  
  
You grinned, “Yea, some pathetic mortal had to carry him out of a Midgardian jail, I called him a dumbass and everything. No response whatsoever!”  
  
Thor laughed, “My brother needed to be saved by a human?”  
  
“Ha, ha. You two have had your fun.” Loki muttered.  
  
You smiled and tossed your arms around his neck, hugging him as tight as you could. “My grumpy god is back.” You could feel his muscles tense, whether from pain, nerves, or both, and you quickly pulled away. Luckily the bruises on your cheeks hid your blush.  
  
Loki smiled at you fondly, “Even weakened like this, I could still snap your neck.” He turned to speak to Thor when a loud explosion outside rocked the ground all the way over to you.  
  
You helped steady Loki before looking out the window, your eyes widened as you realized your stolen jeep was nothing more than smoldering wreckage. “That was our car…” You muttered quietly.  
  
“Can’t trace what doesn’t exist?” Loki offered hesitantly.  
  
“Someone knows we’re here. We have to go.”  
  
Thor nodded and led the way out to the quinjet that had luckily been outside the blast range. Loki leaned on you heavily as you helped him get into the rear. He eased himself onto the bench, eyes closed in pain and trying to steady his breathing. You gripped his hand, still injured from the knife he’d saved you from, and absentmindedly smoothed your thumb along it. Within five minutes, the two of you were leaning against each other, deep asleep.  
Thor looked over and smiled, glad to have the two of you back. The tower wasn’t the same without yours and Loki’s frequent bickering.  
  


* * *

  
  
After several hours, the quinjet arrived at the tower and you got out, Thor and Loki trailing behind.  
  
Thor grinned at Loki and gave him a knowing look. Loki scowled, “What?”  
  
“You like her, don’t you?”  
  
“What? Who?”  
  
“(Y/n), you like (y/n).” Thor grinned. “My dear brother has fallen in love.” Loki glared daggers but Thor ignored him. “For some  _human_.”  
  
“(Y/n) isn’t just some human-“ Loki snapped his mouth shut and cast a cold look over his shoulder as he stalked away from Thor.  
  
“No, brother please, I was speaking in jest!”  
  
Loki ignored him, crossing his arms as the elevator shut. He afforded one last angry look and then returned to his floor and ultimately his room.  
  
  
“’Speaking in jest’?” You repeated as you walked over to Thor.  
  
Thor sighed, “Nothing, it’s just a joke with my brother.” You gave him a questioning look. “From our youth.” He added.  
  
“Oh right. It’s nice to be back at the tower, at home.” You smiled thoughtfully, “I think I’ll take a few days reprieve before I start finding out who did that to Loki.”  
  
“You went through quite the ordeal as well, how are you fairing?”  
  
“I’m fine,” you reassured Thor. “Is Loki? Maybe I should go check on him.”  
  
Thor put his hand on your shoulder. “I think he needs to sleep some, and so do you. You can visit him later.”  
  
For some reason, you felt disappointed but you managed to hide it. “Alright,” you agreed, “I’m pretty exhausted, you’re right that he probably is too.” Thor smiled at you and you continued. “Do you think Loki thinks of here as a home? Or maybe as a second home at least?”  
  
Thor thought for a moment. “Home is where family and those you love most are.”  
  
You grinned, “Yea, you’re here after all. I’m glad the rest of the Avengers have accepted him. Speaking of Avengers, I should try and relax in one of Stark’s hot tubs…” You waved Thor off before entering the elevator. After a moment of thought, you decided to shower and collapse into your own bed.  
  


* * *

  
Loki sank into his bed gratefully. He had barely made it to his room without collapsing.  
Did he like you?  
Of course he did, Loki thought angrily. You were his partner. With that last thought, he sank into a deep, dreamless sleep.  
  


* * *

  
The next day came and Loki was still in his room. You shrugged it off, he was exhausted and probably needed sleep. You spent the day rehydrating and eating your favorite foods while watching your favorite movies and TV shows. Occasionally you would doze between programs, but all in all, it was a very lazy day. You went back to your room for bed late in the evening, considering checking in on Loki, but after a moment of hesitation, you figured it best not to bother him.  
  
The next morning you woke up and showered, then went upstairs to eat breakfast. You stayed in the lounge, fully intent on repeating your schedule from the day before.  
  
Around noon, you looked up from your favorite show and noticed Loki still hadn’t turned up; something was wrong.  
  
You grabbed a piece of toast for Loki and went to his floor. Arriving at his door you knocked and called, “Loki?” There was silence. You knocked harder and called again. “Loki, answer me or I’m coming in anyway.” Still silent.  
  
You bit your lip and opened the door carefully, slowly looking into the room. You glanced around and then saw Loki lying on his bed. He was still in his regular armor, but he had taken his shirt and jacket off. Your mouth dropped open as you realized he was still in the blood soaked rags from the motel. You walked farther into his room, you had never been in there before.  You called his name, your voice full of concern. He still didn’t respond. You set the toast on his dresser and hurried towards the bed.  
  
He was drenched in sweat, hair matted to his forehead. “Loki!” You gasped. His breathing was shallow and pained. Moving as fast as you could, you peeled the towels away and realized the wounds had become infected; he must have been too tired to clean them, let alone wrap them properly. You hurried into his bathroom and found the S.H.I.E.L.D. commissioned first aid kit.  
  
You ran back to Loki’s bed and looked at the wounds. Taking out the medical salve, you paused: you had to clean the wounds. “I’m so sorry.” You murmured as you poured the disinfectant alcohol onto one of the clean swaths of cloth, daubing as gently as you could on the open wounds.  
  
Loki hissed and his eyes shot open. He was sprawled out on his back and gripped the sheets tight. Opening and closing his mouth, he tried to even out his breathing. “(Y/n)?” He managed to choke out.  
  
“Don’t worry, it’s me Loki.” You whispered soothingly as you continued your ministrations. “I’m almost done, your wounds are infected.” You stopped daubing the alcohol and set the bandages aside. Then you took out one of the salves and started daubing the wounds.  Loki exhaled gently. “This will help you heal faster.” You tried to keep your voice calming. “How is your back?”  
  
Loki scrunched his eyes shut and shook his head. You gingerly pushed him up so he was almost sitting. With one hand you managed to prop him up and inspect his back. The damage was just as bad, if not worse. Tears burned in your eyes and you cringed. Blinking hard, you shook your head, “I’m so sorry.” You murmured then added a teary, strained laugh. “Again.” You propped him up with your shoulder, he was so heavy. Then you took the alcohol and went about disinfecting these injuries as well. After adding the salve, you realized it would be better to just wrap the bandages all around his torso. You carefully took the roll of bandaging and wrapped it around him, trying to keep it as tight as possible without hurting him. Finally you laid him back down and put the supplies to the side.  
  
Loki grit his teeth and kept his eyes scrunched closed. The blanket spread was covered with blood and signs of infection. With all your strength, you pulled him forward, resting his head on the pillow before peeling the cover blanket out from under him. You were surprised to find his sheets were white. Based on the theme of his room and the cover blanket, you thought they’d be green. You cleaned up the supplies and discarded bandages, then sat back down on the bed with a cool washcloth, daubing his forehead. All the while whispering soothing words under your breath.  
  
This whole process took nearly an hour. You went to the bathroom and grabbed a glass of water before coming back and sitting beside him. You propped his head up on your leg. “Loki, I have some water, you need to drink it.”  
  
He half opened his eyes and managed to drink some. A little poured out and ran into his beautiful raven hair but you gently daubed it up. Finally you laid his head back on the pillow and his eyes closed again.  
  
“I’m gonna let you rest, I’ll be back in a couple hours to check on you, ok? I know you heal fast, but if it doesn’t start to clear up by then I’m taking you to the S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital.” Loki managed a tiny nod. “Alright, I’ll see you in a bit.” You brushed your hand across his forehead once more.  
  
As you stood up, you felt a viselike grip on your wrist. You jumped and looked down.  
Loki was looking up at you and you could see pleading in his eyes. “Please,” he said weakly, “don’t leave me.”  
  
You felt a pang of pain and sympathy in your heart, seeing him so broken and hurt. “I… Ok.” You said before sitting back down.  
  
Loki smiled at you and closed his eyes. His grip didn’t lessen, even as he dozed off; he held your wrist in place as though hanging on for dear life.  
He had grabbed your left wrist with his left hand, so you lifted his arm over you before gently resting his hand in your lap.  
  
As Loki lay sleeping, you gently stroked your hand through his hair. Now that he was sleeping peacefully, you couldn’t help but admire just how handsome he looked. Through it all, you hadn’t paid much attention to the fact that he was shirtless, you were too concerned. But now that you had time to really examine him, you couldn’t help but blush softly. Maybe just a little bit, you actually liked him. Just a little.  
  
You continued stroking his hair until you nodded off, leaning back against the headboard. “I’m here Loki, don’t worry.” You murmured quietly as you fell asleep.  _’I love you’_ , a small voice whispered in your head but you didn’t notice it.  
  


* * *

  
  
The sun had set by the time you woke up. Loki’s grip had finally relaxed and it occurred to you that your wrist might bruise.  
“Loki,” you whispered softly.  
  
“Hmm…”  
  
“I’m going to get you some soup. I don’t know the last time you ate. I promise I’ll be right back, ok?” Loki was quiet but he let go as you stood up.  
  
As you made your way upstairs, you were grateful to know that almost everyone was away on missions. Only Thor had been there when you and Loki returned, but now there was no sign of him. ‘He must be with Jane,’ you thought. You quickly gathered a large bowl of soup and crackers, then added a little food for yourself on a tray before returning to Loki’s room. When you got back to the room, Loki was still and hadn’t moved.  
  
You sat down next to him and he finally looked up at you with half lidded eyes.  
“You’re so stubborn.” You muttered as you tried to prop him up.  
  
Loki let out a breathy lap, “Frigga, my mother, used to say the same.” He murmured weakly.  
  
“Well she was right, clearly.”  
  
Loki grinned, “I think she would’ve liked you.”  
  
You found yourself smiling back at him. “I brought soup, it’s mostly broth though, I was worried you might pass back out.”  
  
“You were worried about me?” He teased weakly. “I thought you didn’t like me.”  
  
“I  _don’t_ ,” you busied yourself with the soup to hide your blush. “But I still worry about you.” You poked his forehead, it seemed to be one of the few spots that he wasn’t injured. “Now eat.”  
  
You handed him the soup, he hissed in pain as he bent his arms to take it. “Thank you.” He whispered. As he tried to hold the bowl, you noticed his arms shaking; the movement was dangerously close to spilling the warm liquid on him.  
  
You bit the inside of your cheek, then sighed. “Here.” You took the bowl from him and he looked at you unsure. “I’m gonna feed your sorry ass.” You muttered.  
  
Loki laughed.  
After he managed to eat the bowlful, he leaned back and closed his eyes. You grabbed some of the food you’d brought for yourself and started eating.  
  
“Where are the others?” Loki asked after a while, opening his eyes.  
  
You shrugged, “Missions probably.”  
  
He hummed thoughtfully. “When do you think they’ll be back?”  
  
“Dunno.” Loki nodded silently. Then you continued, “I’m gonna get some sleep, you should too. If you need me, you can call me.”  
  
“Why not just stay here?”  
  
You rolled your eyes, trying not to blush again. “Ok, I’ll go sleep on my chair, I’ll be in yelling distance.”  
  
“No. That chair is hardly sufficient for proper sleep, and my bed is large enough for two.” He looked up at you.  
  
You glared back down at him, “Fine.” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy being this close to him. Still, you were a bit suspicious of him. Maybe he didn’t hate you after all. You considered letting yourself entertain the thought that he might like you, but you quickly forced the thought away. This was strictly strategic, he was truly weak right now and you feared he might do something stupid and get himself more injured if left unsupervised.  
  
‘Maybe she knows about my true birth. It would explain why she realized that I need to be cooled off…’ Loki thought nervously but managed to hide all signs of it. ‘Maybe she thinks I’ll hurt her, that is what Jotuns do after all.’  
“I can’t move, agent,” Loki said out loud, “I couldn’t even hold that bowl. I won’t hurt you.”  
  
You raised your eyebrows, “Of course not. I trust you.” You grinned.  
  
‘She probably doesn’t know.’ Loki amended mentally. He nodded and offered a small smile before closing his eyes and quickly falling asleep.  
  
Shaking your head, you crawled onto the bed and curled up as small as possible. You didn’t want to take up too much room or risk touching and aggravating his wounds.  
  


* * *

  
  
When you woke up, Loki was still asleep. You pulled your hand out of his grip and grabbed another cool washcloth. You daubed it on his face while gently stroking his hair.  
A smile played on Loki’s lips as he lay sleeping. The steady rising and falling of his chest was soothing. After a bit, you set the washcloth down. Turning back, you saw Loki had woken up.  
  
“Agent.” He said softly.  
  
“Loki.” You smiled. “How are you?”  
He scrunched his eyes shut and nearly imperceptibly shook his head. You went back to the bathroom and returned with the first aid kit. Then you helped him sit up and he hissed in pain. His breathing was shallow.  
You peeled back the bandages, and while they didn’t look any worse, they also didn’t look much better. You propped him up against your shoulder and repeated the process from the day before.  
  
“Why couldn’t you just say something?” You muttered, annoyed.  
  
“I’m not weak.” He whispered back quietly.  
  
“Admitting your shortcomings doesn’t make you weak, needing help doesn’t make you weak, being an idiot and putting yourself in needless danger makes you weak.” You growled.  
Loki pulled himself to a sitting position and glared at you. “What would know? You’re just a pathetic mortal. You wouldn’t know true strength anyways. Your kind, humans,” he spat, he had to do it. “They’re all weak.” He had to do it now. He was too close to you. He cared about you. He cared about you and now you would leave and it would destroy him. He had to make you leave first.  
  
Your mouth dropped open in shock. “Fine! You’re right! I am weak.” You stood up angrily. “But at least I’m not an asshole to people who care about me!” You shouted, though you could feel your throat tighten. “It’s no wonder you never have friends!”  
  
Loki’s eyes widened and you could see the hurt in them. “Leave then! Damn you!” He roared back. “Leave like every other wretch always leaves!” He managed a small burst of magic that caused you to stumble back. He shook with the effort.  
  
You looked at Loki shocked. “You’re just a fucking asshole!” You felt tears stinging in your eyes. “You’re never grateful of anyone, maybe,” you stopped, searching for words, trying to find something that would truly sting.  
  
“What? Maybe what?” Loki yelled, seemingly taunting you.  
  
“Maybe I should’ve left you in that cell!” As soon as the words left your mouth, your eyes widened in horror. The words took a moment to register.  
You were angry, you wanted to hurt him back, like he had hurt you. But that, that was too far, you didn’t mean that. You wanted to upset him, not truly hurt him.  
  
It was always for show, you’d finally learned that. He needed a verbal slap. But leaving him in that cell?  
  
Your mouth fell open as you realized what you said. You slowly shook your head. “No Loki- I’m sorry- I- I didn’t mean that…”  
  
“Of course you did, you filthy mewling quim.” Loki snarled at you as he forced himself to his feet, you could see the effort making him blanch. “You worthless,” He searched for words, “bitch.” He spat. “Yes, bitch, that’s what Midgardians use, no? You’re a fucking bitch, that’s all you are.” He was shaking with the effort of standing and you could see tears in his eyes. “Get the Hel out of here. Don’t bother coming back.”  
  
He forced himself to move towards you before shoving you out of the room and slamming the door shut. You were too shocked to even respond.  
  
Loki leaned into the door and slowly slid to the ground, too weak to hold himself up anymore. He felt the burning tears in his eyes and he slowly shook his head.  
  


  
  
You stood outside the door, staring in dumbfounded silence. How had that happened?


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments mean so much to me!

“No! No!” You called banging on the door. “Loki! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that!” You felt tears welling in your eyes and then rolling down your cheeks.  
  
You pushed against the door but to no avail. Finally you used your shoulder and full body weight and the door budged open. You saw Loki roll to the side on the floor. The effort of forcing you out had exhausted him and he lay passed out on the ground. You pushed him over so he was leaning against the foot of his bed, then wrapped your arms around him and hugged him as tight as you could.  
  
“Loki, I’m so sorry, please, I didn’t mean it.” You rocked him back and forth as you talked, “Please wake up, I wasn’t thinking, I was angry.” You hugged him tighter and his eyes slowly opened as he moaned in pain. You pulled back, leaving your hands on his arms, “I’m so sorry.”  
  
Loki looked down. “No.” He said quietly. “It’s the truth. I don’t have friends. Thor was my brother, but I don’t even know what I am to him now. And you’re right, you should have left me.” He shook his head and closed his eyes. “Go away. I’m used to this.”  
  
You hugged him again and buried your face in the crook of his neck. “No, I’m not leaving. I should never have said that.” You managed to choke out, your voice muffled against his chest. “You do have friends. Please.” You wanted to grip him tighter, cling to him somehow, anything to make him realize that you cared. “We’re your friends, I’m your friend Loki, please, you have to believe me.”  
  
Loki could feel the wetness from your tears on his bare skin. He looked down at you confused. “Why are you crying?”  
  
“Because I hurt you, I hurt my partner and my best friend, and I’m sorry.” You didn’t want to move, something made you afraid that if you let go now, he might disappear.  
  
Loki hesitated then lifted his hand and stroked your hair gently. You smelled so nice. Finally he wrapped his other arm around you and buried his face in your hair. His voice was muffled as he spoke, “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have cursed at you.” He hesitated, “I shouldn’t have said any of those things.”  
  
You pulled back and managed to smile, though a few tears still ran down your cheeks. You carefully wiped your tears away and tried to stop the ones still in your eyes.  
  
Loki tilted his head and stared at you. He looked sad, confused, and unsure, all at once. “Why don’t you leave?” He asked finally, his voice quiet and hesitant.  
  
You looked at him, hurt again. Then you stopped, realizing there was no malice in his question. He genuinely wanted to know.  
A thought struck you. Loki’s penchant for mischief often led people to dislike him. No one liked to be on the receiving end of a good prank. And then with Odin and Thor, Thor was the golden child, always chosen before him. Everything about Odin confirmed that Loki was unwanted. Other people must have added to that sense of being disliked and undesirable and when he realized this, he must have decided to make sure people disliked him on his terms. Loki was cruel and pushed people away before they could push him away.  
  
By now, the behavior was probably ingrained into his very being. He had to push people away, he had to stay alone.  
  
He didn’t want you to leave, he  _needed_  you to leave. He needed you to hate him so he could confirm his belief that people didn’t like him or that they just intended to use him.  
  
You wondered how long this had been happening. When was the last time someone had tried to befriend him? Really truly befriend him. Not just interact with him and build a mutual companionship, but taken the time to get past his emotional armour. You wondered if Thor had been the only one.  
He was still looking at you, waiting for an answer.  
  
“Because I promised.”  
  
He looked at you ruefully, “You can’t mean that. You can’t keep that promise.”  
  
“Watch me.” You grinned. “C’mon, let’s go get something to eat.” You stood up and reached your hand out to Loki. He hesitated as he stared at your outstretched hand, almost symbolically that in taking it, he was willing to believe your promise. Very carefully, he grasped your hand with his left hand, not breaking eye contact. It was the hand still bandaged from the wound he had taken to save your life. You smiled and pulled him to his feet. He winced with every movement of his torso before leaning on you heavily and you slowly supported him to the elevator.  
  
As you walked, he glanced down at you and you offered him another cheery smile, the last of your tears drying. You couldn’t read his expression as he looked back at the direction you were walking, but you knew he wasn’t upset now and certainly not angry; that was good enough for now.  
  
You rode in silence so you couldn’t see the sorrow hidden deep in Loki’s eyes.  
He cared about you, he realized sadly. He cared about you, just as he cared about Thor, but you didn’t have any familial ties. Thor always stayed by some deep set root of being his brother.  
But you, you could – you would – leave.  
  
You helped Loki over to the couch before walking into the kitchen. The two of you looked over as the elevator door opened.  
Thor stood there and waved at the two of you.  
  
“Hey Thor,” you called with a smile. “Where have you been?”  
  
“Hello (y/n), brother,” he greeted you both. “I just got back. Jane returned me here in her car.” Thor walked over quickly as he saw the bandages on Loki. “Loki, brother…” Thor sat down, inspecting the dressings. You had done well in properly attending his injuries.  
  
Loki didn’t look at Thor. “Thor.” He murmured in quiet response, his gaze fixed on the ground.  
  
You couldn’t hear the two brothers, you were busy, distracted in getting food.  
  
“What’s wrong Loki?” Thor asked, furrowing his brow. Loki was quiet. “Loki.”  
  
Loki looked up sadly. “You’re right.”  
  
Thor raised his eyebrows surprised. “Err…” He coughed. That was unusual of his younger brother. “What are you referring to?”  
  
“I do care about her.” Loki whispered sadly. “I do care about (Y/n) and she’s going to leave me.” He said bitterly.  
  
“Why would she do that?”  
  
“That’s what they do. That’s what you all do. Always. You leave.”  
  
“I’ve never left you brother.”  
  
Loki looked up at him. “You locked me away in a cell.”  
  
“You’d gone mad Loki, you needed time to think. Too much had happened at once.”  
  
Loki looked at Thor confused. “Why have you never hated me?”  
  
“Because you are my brother-“  
  
Loki cut him off. “My brother, right, yes.” He sighed and closed his eyes.  
  
“Do you fear (Y/n) will leave?” Loki nodded sadly but didn’t say anything. “And you care about her?” Loki nodded again, still silent. Thor sighed, “Loki, look at me.” Loki opened his eyes and forced himself to look at Thor. “She cares about you too, I know it.”  
  
Loki’s voice was barely a breath when he spoke. “How can you know? She will leave, just like everyone else.”  
  
“Only because you push her away. Caring about someone means not leaving,” Loki opened his mouth but Thor held up his hand to silence him, “caring about someone also means trusting them, trusting them not to leave.”  
  
Loki tilted his head. “She said she should’ve left me in that cell.”  
  
Thor raised his eyebrow in surprise, but he asked, “Did you say something first?” Loki hesitated and Thor sighed. “She was probably hurt and spoke back, her tongue tainted with anger, I doubt she was thinking clearly.” Thor paused. “The day mother died…” Loki’s gaze shot up to meet Thor’s. “I saw the two of you fight.” All of Loki’s will seemed to seep away at Thor’s words and Loki felt his throat tighten. Thor shook his head. “Even in anger, she was no less your mother. Just as in anger, (y/n) is no less your friend.”  
  
“Do you really think so?” Loki’s voice threatened to break.  
  
Thor nodded and smiled. Loki leaned over and hugged him. For a second Thor did nothing, startled by this sudden change in Loki’s attitude. Then he gently hugged Loki back. “I know so, brother.”  
Loki pulled away and nodded. Thor found himself grinning, it had been so long since he saw this side of his brother.  
  
Loki leaned back against the couch weakly and closed his eyes. “Look at me, brother…” He mused quietly. Thor laughed gently.  
  
At that moment, you walked over carrying a tray. “Hey guys,” you smiled at them. “I brought you some food too Thor.” Thor grinned and you saw Loki looking over at you, also with a small smile. “You two ok?” You asked uncertainly.  
  
“Of course, thank you (y/n).” Thor got up and helped you with the tray. You looked back and forth between the brothers, bemused, but you opted not to say anything. If it was for you to know, they’d tell you.  
  
You and Loki spent the rest of the day marathoning all your favorite TV shows and movies. Loki sat on the couch beside you, occasionally leaning against you as he dozed throughout the afternoon. Thor stayed for a few hours before leaving because Jane returned.  
  
Around seven, the elevator opened and Tony walked out, “Hey (y/n), reindeer-“ he stopped when he saw Loki covered in bandages. “Woah, Loki, you ok?”  
  
Loki was leaning away from you, against the arm of the couch, and had his eyes closed as he rested during the current movie. At the sound of Tony’s arrival, Loki opened his eyes. “We got back from a mission, it didn’t go well.” Loki muttered weakly.  
  
You sighed, “His wounds got infected.”  
  
Tony made an ‘ew’ face then walked to the kitchen. The elevator door opened again and Natasha and Steve walked out.  
  
“(Y/n),” Steve said with a smile and Natasha inclined her head at you. “Lok-“ he cut off, seeing the state of Loki. “Woah, Loki, are you ok?” Steve asked.  
  
“I’m wonderful.” Loki drawled, yet his voice was weak and he winced as he shifted positions on the couch.  
  
Natasha frowned and her eyes hardened, “I’ve seen that style of torture before.”  
  
Everyone turned towards her sharply, even Loki’s gaze shot at her.  
  
“How’d you know?” You asked, a little confused. It was obvious Loki had been injured, but you didn’t think torture was that evident.  
  
Natasha nodded. “I was on a mission in northern Africa one time, western Algeria roughly. Details aside, there was a doctor who went by the name of Braxton, Dr. Braxton. He prided himself in being able to get information out of anyone. He said he’d never failed. I had to extract one of his victims.”  
  
Loki nodded then smirked, “Well, either he didn’t get around to asking me questions, or it would appear the good doctor’s record has been broken.”  
  
Natasha grinned. “Nice work.” She looked around the room as she spoke. “I’ve been looking for him on and off since then, never had much luck. He has a private practice; he works for hire as far as I can figure. No ties with any specific organizations anyways. I haven’t crossed paths with him since then.”  
  
You and Loki nodded thoughtfully.  
  
Tony walked back into the room, holding a drink. “How long have you guys been back anyways? We didn’t hear from you for two weeks.”  
  
You sighed, “It was a setup…” You muttered bitterly before looking away. “We got back the day before yesterday, and it’s been hell. I’m sorry.” You weren’t sure why you were apologizing but it felt necessary.  
  
Natasha walked over and hugged you, “It’s ok, we’re just glad to have you back.” She flashed a quick smile at Loki, “both of you.”  
  
Steve smiled and nodded, “Yep. Bucky has been upset too.” Steve squeezed your shoulder as he walked into the kitchen to find some food. He also cast a smile and gave a short nod of greeting to Loki as he passed beside him.  
  
“Well where’s he at?”  
  
“He and Clint are out on a mission.”  
  
“Yep, decided to mix things up,” Natasha said. “Steve and I are going to spend a few days at one of the S.H.I.E.L.D. training camps, Mariah Hall asked us personally.”  
  
“That sounds terrible.” Tony muttered into his drink.  
  
“Shut it, Stark. You’re just upset that Bruce went to a science expo without you.” Steve said evenly.  
  
“Whatever. I’ll be in the lab if you need me.” Tony walked off, grumbling as he did.  
  
You sat up and looked over the couch, “Oh, wait, Tony, I lost my daggers back in Mexico.” You bit your lip sheepishly, afraid to impose on him by asking for replacements but still desperately wanting them.  
  
Tony scowled but after a moment his expression brightened. “Yea, I can do that. Don’t worry about it sweetheart, I can make a new set, I have some ideas anyways.”  
  
“Thanks, I’m really sorry.”  
  
He waved his hand, “Don’t worry about it. I can start planning while I wait for Bruce to get back. He should be home in the morning.”  
  
Natasha walked over and sat on the other couch, carrying a mug of tea. “Bruce is also a medical doctor, Loki, you should probably have him check on your injuries.”  
  
Loki had been scowling at Tony until Natasha started talking. “I suppose that would be for the best.” Loki muttered, but sounded resigned to Natasha’s suggestion.  
From behind the couch, outside Loki’s line of sight, Steve raised his eyebrows at you, silently conveying his surprise at Loki’s willingness to accept help. It was a true testament to how injured he was.  
  
“So you guys want to watch any movies?” Natasha asked.  
  
Steve walked over and sat beside her, “That sounds great. (Y/n), Loki, you guys down for a movie?”  
  
Loki winced as he resituated himself on the couch. “I’m fine with that, agent?”  
  
“Sure.” You were about to invite Tony but he had already left for the lab. You shrugged, he was going to be making you toys so it would be a win-win anyways. “Alright, what do you want to watch?”  
  
Natasha tapped her chin thoughtfully, “I’m thinking Sherlock Holmes!”  
An hour later and Loki was fast asleep, curled up against the arm of the couch. After the movie finished, everyone turned to look at him.  
“Damn…” Natasha murmured quietly, “he looks horrible.”  
  
You nodded, speaking in a hushed voice. “And we’ve been back here for two days now.”  
  
Steve shook his head, “Still, I’m glad the two of you made it back ultimately. I’m sorry it just took so much to do it.”  
  
You nodded silently and Natasha asked, “So what happened?” After you finished recounting the mission, Steve let out a soft whistle. Natasha shook her head, “I’m so sorry you went through that.” The three of you fell silent for a moment and stared at Loki, “Like I said, I’m glad to see you two back here.”  
  
“Definitely.” Steve said as he got up. “Let me know if either of you need anything. But Nat and I have to be up early tomorrow, so I’m going to sleep.” He patted your knee as he walked past, “Good night you guys.”  
  
You and Natasha bid him good night but the two of you ended staying up and talking for a while. Loki didn’t wake up the entire time. It was around eleven when Natasha finally left for bed.  
  
“Hey Loki.” You whispered, gently touching his leg.  
  
Loki sat up slowly and frowned, “Oh, did I miss the movie?”  
  
You smiled ruefully, “Yea, we can watch it again sometime, don’t worry.” Loki groaned as he stretched and moved to stand. “Woah, hey there,” you jumped up and hooked his arm over your shoulder. “I got you.”  
  
Loki sighed and leaned on you heavily, “Thank you agent.” He murmured tiredly.  
  
The two of you slowly made it to Loki’s room and you helped him into bed. “Do you need anything?” You offered quietly, sitting down beside him. Loki had curled up, trying to even out his breathing but didn’t say anything. After a moment, you braced yourself and asked the question that had been plaguing you since you awoke in the cell. “Hey Loki,” you hesitated, “after you went inside the gas station… what happened?”  
  
Loki was quiet for a time and you wondered if he heard you. When he finally answered, his voice was just above a whisper, “They said they would kill you. After a while… I lost track of everything.”  
  
You looked away and nodded. There was no other way he would’ve been taken so easily, it was your fault. “I’m sorry…” You whispered, “I’m so sorry that I got you put into that situation,” you felt tears in your eyes as you leaned over and kissed Loki’s temple, “thank you so much, for all you’ve done.” You squeezed his shoulder and gently rubbed your thumb in circles.  
  
Loki rolled over onto his back and gave you a small smile. He placed his hand over yours. “You’re my partner, and my friend.” Then he smirked, “and don’t worry, I can still snap your neck from here.”  
  
You managed a teary eyed smile, “Dumbass.” You looked away and shook your head, wiping the tears from your eyes. After a moment you stood up and sighed, “You get some sleep. Your phone is on the dresser here if you need me. I’ll see you in the morning, ok?”  
  
“Ok. Good night agent.”  
  


* * *

  
Around midafternoon the next day, you found yourself in the lounge with Loki. All the other Avengers were out of the tower once more. Only you and Loki were left on the top floor, which given Loki’s current state, was for the best. Loki had followed through on Natasha’s suggestion to have Bruce check on his injuries.  
  
Bruce was impressed with your handiwork, given your lack of real medical training, and only added stitches to the worst and deepest injuries. He had also prescribed a soothing topical ointment for the burns and to clear up the last of the infections.  
  
Unfortunately, many of the worst injuries were on Loki’s back and in other hard for him to reach places. With much embarrassment, you ended up offering to help him apply it which was why you were in your current position.  
  
You were sitting on the couch with Loki sprawled out sideways on your lap, his upper body lying heavily on your thighs. His arms were folded in front of him on the couch, and he lay face down with his forehead resting on them. Saying he was still weak from the ordeal was putting it mildly. It was heartbreaking to see how much he still shook when he moved, and you knew that was just what he couldn’t hide.  
  
Natasha said this Dr. Braxton had spent a great deal of time studying the human anatomy; he was well versed in pressure points that could inflict damage that lasted the longest period of time and caused the most pain. There was some fortune that Loki wasn’t human, but the damage was still extensive; couple that with the intense heat exposure, near starvation during your trek through the desert, and crippling dehydration throughout, it would be a miracle that any human lived through that. So, once again, everyone was more than sympathetic that Loki was taking so much to heal.  
Bruce reported that there had been internal bleeding, but while attempting to heal his external injuries, Loki had inadvertently healed the internal ones instead – which, all things considered, worked out well.  
  
Hearing all of this, it made sense why you were on day four and he could still barely walk.  
  
So here you were, Loki stretched across you, and you desperately trying to hide your growing blush as you studied how the ointment worked.   
  
Loki groaned, “Agent, are you please going to put the doctor’s medicine on, or should I attempt to myself?”  
  
You scowled, “I’m just reading the instructions, I don’t want to make it worse.” Rereading them actually. For the fifth time. Plus Bruce had given it to you roughly an hour ago and been very clear in his explanation.  
Loki grunted, though he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy being this close to you.  
Unfortunately, Loki was a fantastic liar and managed to believe himself. Perhaps if Thor had been there to call him out on it, things might be different, but as it were, Thor was away with Jane once more.  
You breathed out deeply, “Alright. I think I have it.”  
  
“Isn’t it just ‘rub gently into area’, surely a mortal couldn’t mess that up?” Loki murmured into his arms.  
  
“Shut up, dumbass.” You muttered as you heard, and felt, Loki laughing. You carefully peeled away the bandages so the stitches were visible. Very slowly and very deliberately, you poured some of the cream onto Loki’s back. It smelled heavenly. What were the odds that Bruce would make a medical ointment that smelled like all your favorite things? You groaned inwardly as it made this already daunting task more difficult.  
You gently pressed your fingers to his back and started to rub it in. At first Loki tensed up, but after your fingers made contact, you felt a shiver spread through him. Loki bit his lip, suppressing a moan.  
  
“Am I hurting you?” You muttered quietly.  
  
Loki managed to shake his head without lifting it off his folded arms. “It’s… nice.” He grunted out. Then he quietly murmured, “Thank you.”  
  
You smiled softly, still caressing his skin. You couldn’t help but admire his lean muscles visible on his pale frame, even if much of it was covered in sutures and burns. After you finished, you carefully reapplied the dressings. “There we go, all good.” You smiled. Then you looked down at Loki, waiting for some response. “Loki?” His breathing was deep and even, he had fallen asleep on you. You sighed, struck by how very catlike he could be sometimes. Absently, you stroked his hair, thinking about how different things were since you first met. Then you stopped, for a second it sounded like he had purred. You blushed and let out a soft giggle.  
  
Loki heard you and woke up, carefully pulling himself to a sitting position to glare at you, “What?”  
  
“Nothing.” You smiled, “You just fell asleep is all.”  
  
“Oh.” Loki ran his hand through his silky hair self-consciously. “Right, sorry.”  
  
“Let’s get you back to bed, bud. Glass of water first though, Bruce said you’re still pretty dehydrated.”  
  
Loki nodded absently, “Alright.”  
  
You got up and went into the kitchen. Loki stayed on the couch and idly smoothed his thumb across his bandaged left hand, a scar was forming from the knife wound he had taken for you. He smiled when he glanced down at it, even though this one was deep, he didn’t feel the need to hide it. It reminded him of you and the promise you had made.  
You came back and handed the glass of water to Loki, “Here you go.”  
  


* * *

  
“Will you stay with me?” Loki asked, once you had helped him into bed and situated the blankets around him.  
  
You sighed and smiled ruefully, “Alright, if only because it means you won’t get up and get your sorry ass hurt more.”   
  
Loki chuckled, “Fair enough.”  
  
“Although, I still need to sleep at night, so I’m going to go grab a book.”  
  
Loki nodded. You hurried out of the room and found a story of your favorite genre, one Loki had recommended a while ago. You came back into the room, fully expecting Loki to be asleep but his bright green eyes were fixed on the doorway. There was a look of relief in them when he saw you return.  
“What’s wrong? Thought I wasn’t coming back?” You smirked playfully. Loki stayed quiet. You sighed and walked over, sitting beside him on the bed, “Like I said, I care about you, I’m not going anywhere, ok?”  
  
Loki nodded slowly, then changed the subject, “What book did you get?” You held up the title for him to see and he grinned, “I love that one.”  
  
“I know, you recommended it to me, remember?”  
  
“I wondered if you had forgotten.”  
  
You shook your head, “Nope, now go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise. And if I have to go someplace, I’ll wake you up and let you know.”  
  
Loki nodded, “Thank you (Y/n).” He closed his eyes while you moved around, trying to get comfortable.  
  
You leaned back against the headboard, legs crossed in front of you and prepared to read. Listening for Loki’s heavy breathing, to make sure he had fallen asleep, you smiled. Loki rolled over onto his side, putting his arm around your legs and pulling you close as he fell deeper into sleep. You held your breath, blushing at the close proximity and not daring to move in case you woke him. After a moment, you sighed, noticing that he was smiling as he lay curled against you. You simply shrugged and started reading, holding the book in one hand and absently stroking his hair with the other; this wasn’t such a bad layout.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild plot divergence for good ol' fluffy times!

You didn’t know how long the two of you stayed like that, but eventually your eyes started to drift closed and you felt the book steadily lowering to your chest. Finally you gave in to sleep and allowed the book to drop to the floor. You slowly leaned over before resting with your head and upper body by the headboard. Your arm moved down to rest on Loki’s side as he curled up closer to your legs and used them as a pillow.  
  


* * *

  
What felt like seconds passed, and then your eyes flickered open and you registered a warm presence on your thighs and that your arm was also draped over something large and warm. You felt your face blush bright red as you realized how closely cuddled together you and Loki were. Gingerly and trying your hardest not to wake him, you pulled your arm from Loki’s side. After that, you tried to carefully sit up but Loki hugged you tighter and whimpered in his sleep.  
  
You stopped, holding your breath, and waited for him to relax again. Loki’s grip on you was starting to grow uncomfortable. ‘Damn, Asgardians are strong.’ You found yourself thinking again.  
More time passed and you squirmed uncomfortably. Finally you sighed and shook his shoulder, “Loki,” you hissed softly, “Loki, wake up.”  
  
Loki remained asleep and scrunched his eyes shut and once more tightened his grip. You yelped in pain.  
  
In a flash, Loki’s eyes opened and he pulled away from you, “Agent? What-?” He stopped and looked around confused. After a moment, it seemed to register that there was no danger and Loki rubbed his eyes sleepily, “What happened?” He mumbled tiredly.  
  
“I was going to get up, I think I should go to bed, it’s getting late.”  
  
Loki looked out the darkened window and then at his clock, it was indeed late. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “I suppose…” then he paused, “will you get me some water?”  
  
“Sure.” You smiled, before hurrying into the bathroom and coming back. As he drank, you thought about the fact that you were also recovering from the desert, just not as severely.  
  
“Thanks.” He muttered.  
  
“Sure. I’m gonna go to my room though, you can call me if you need something.”  
  
Loki frowned, “That’s downstairs…” He said slowly.  
  
“Yes?” Loki was quiet and stared at the empty glass in his hand. “What? Do you want me to stay here or something?” You asked with a smirk. Loki looked up at you hopefully. You frowned. “Do you know how uncomfortable it is sleeping in jeans?”  
  
Loki shook his head, “Why not wear other clothes then?” He offered as he handed the glass back to you and you set it on his nightstand.  
  
You raised an eyebrow at him, “What, you mean like my pajamas? Have a pajama party here?”  
  
“I don’t know how you intend to throw a party when-“  
  
You held your hand up to quiet him, placing your other hand on your face in exasperation, “No, that’s not how it works… never mind.” Loki studied you, clearly confused. You closed your eyes and had a brief mental image of Natasha smirking at you.  
But then… she was away from the tower, Bruce and Tony were the only others here and they spent most of their time in the lab. No one ever went to Loki’s room and Loki did have a point that if he needed something, it could take a long time for you to get there.  
  
And it’s not like it was the first time you and Loki had slept in the same bed.  
  
You opened your eyes again and looked at Loki; his head was tilted to the side and he was studying you curiously, long black hair hanging in curtains and framing his face. Your gaze drifted down to his sculpted muscles, many of which were still covered with bandages.  
  
You sighed and rolled your eyes, then got up from the bed, “Fiiine.” You groaned in exasperation, hoping that would hide the pink in your cheeks.  
  
Loki chuckled, “If my presence displeases you so…” He trailed off, suddenly his heart skipped a beat as he realized that this thought actually worried him. What if you really didn’t want to be around him?  
  
You quickly shook your head, “No, no, it’s not that.” You sighed, “I’ll go get my clothes… just don’t do anything stupid in the five minutes I’ll be gone, ok?”  
  
Loki smirked and nodded as he watched you go.  
  
The door clicked shut behind you. Loki felt a sense of panic grip himself, just because he cared about you, didn’t mean he actually  _cared_  about you, right? You were still nothing more than a human mortal. True, he valued your presence and wouldn’t let anything happen to you, but sleeping next to you didn’t mean anything, right?  
  
He breathed out slowly, you were just a mortal, this was strategic. He also didn’t want to truly have you out of his sight. He was just as worried about your safety as you were of his health. Shadowy fears plagued the back of his mind, filling him with worry that he wouldn’t be able to protect you should you stray too far from his contact and for too long.  
  
Loki glanced at the clock and saw that it had been five minutes since you left. He frowned, what could be taking you so long? It was just the elevator and then down to your room.  
  
Loki rolled over, placing both his feet on the ground and bracing himself to stand. Carefully, he started to walk towards the door, leaning heavily against the wall. Breathing in short, painful gasps and slowly growing dizzy, Loki opened his door and started to make his way through the bookshelves.  
  
He made it past a row when the elevator door opened and he looked up to see you standing there, holding a bag.  
“Loki?! What the hell?!” You ran over to him, tossing your bag to the side. Loki smiled in relief as soon as he saw you, though he could feel himself swaying. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” You growled, wrapping his arm over your shoulder.  
  
Loki slumped against you but retained consciousness, “Thought something happened…” He mumbled.  
  
You groaned and carefully led him back to his bed. “I went downstairs, literally five minutes you idiot. You’re driving me up a fucking wall.” You growled. “Stay here.” Then you turned and walked over to your bag, “I feel like I’m talking to a damned dog, except they actually listen when you say stay.” You stalked back over and slammed the door shut.  
  
“Sorry.” Loki muttered sheepishly.  
  
“I couldn’t find my pajama bottoms.” You muttered as you started digging through your bag. “You’re the one who is injured, not me, I’m fine.”  
  
Loki had closed his eyes but you heard him huff, “You spent a week half-starved and without water, just as I did.”  
  
“Yea, but I didn’t get tortured, that was you. I’m taking care of you. I got us out of there, but I’m still not done getting you better, so until then, I’m looking out for you. You don’t worry about me, just get yourself healed.”  
  
“You know I can’t do that.” Loki said quietly. You looked up from your bag and saw that he was staring at you again. “I can’t let you get hurt. I will worry about you.”  
  
You sighed before reaching out and squeezing his hand, then you shook your head. “I’m fine while we’re here at least, ok?” Loki nodded slowly. “I’m gonna shower,” then you smiled, “I’m shutting the door though, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”  
  
Loki smirked and rolled his eyes.  
You took a quick shower before coming back out in your green satin pajamas. Loki smiled when he saw you. Looking down, you scowled, once again forgetting the color correlation until the last minute. You felt your cheeks burn and prayed Loki didn’t notice.  
  
“Shut up.” You muttered.  
  
“I didn’t say anything.” Loki replied innocently.  
  
“They were my only clean matching pair. Go to sleep.” You muttered as you pulled out your blanket from your bag and crawled on top of Loki’s bed. Loki had crawled under the covers while you showered.  
  
“Good night agent.” He said quietly as he turned the lights off with magic.  
  
“Good night Loki.” You replied. You rolled over, keeping your back to Loki and quickly fell asleep.  
Loki lay there silently, he smiled at the curve of your figure faintly illuminated in the moonlight. When the two of you had been in Mexico, he had held you close against him so neither of you would fall off the bed. Now he was too injured to risk attempting that and also doubted your willingness to be that close.  
Loki frowned, trying to convince himself yet again that he only cared enough about you to protect you and that it had nothing to do with his desire to hold you. After a moment, he scowled and rolled over so he faced in the opposite direction. He too, soon fell asleep.  
  


* * *

  
In the morning, you woke before Loki. It took you a moment to gather yourself as you recognized the change in surroundings. You rolled over and saw Loki lying on his side, deep asleep. You couldn’t help but admire his pale skin and sharp features, his lean yet muscular body, and his silky black hair spread out across his pillow. After a moment you noticed his lips were moving, as though he were speaking; thankfully there were no signs of distress on his features, but you couldn't make out the words.  
  
You furrowed your brow and after briefly hesitating, you leaned towards him. He was clearly dreaming, and the soft smile at the corners of his mouth convinced you it was a happy dream. You strained to hear what he was saying, leaning closer to him…  
  
Was he whispering your name?  
  
“Agent?” Loki murmured groggily as his green eyes opened, meeting yours. He looked tired and was still blinking away sleep, “What are you doing?”  
  
You quickly pulled away, “Nothing, nothing.” You hastily replied. “What were you dreaming about?”  
  
Loki frowned. He was quiet for a moment, then rolled onto his back and closed his eyes, “Don’t remember.” He muttered after a bit.  
  
“Right.” You shook your head and got up. “Let’s go get some breakfast, we can put more of that ointment on you afterwards.” Loki nodded.  
  
You got up and dressed, then slowly helped Loki upstairs. Bruce had opted not to give Loki any painkillers, unsure just how they might affect him. The two of you ate quietly on the couch, then Loki stretched out across your lap again and you applied the ointment. Afterwards, Loki dozed beside you as you began scouring the S.H.I.E.L.D. archives for any signs of Dr. Braxton.  
  
Night came and you returned to Loki’s room, repeating the routine of the previous night. Then the next day came, Loki spent more time awake so you brought a few of his books from the library.  
  


* * *

  
You sighed, looking away from your laptop as your phone received a text. Loki’s gaze flickered up from his book, curious as to who it was from. “It’s Tasha,” you muttered, “she and Steve will be back sometime early tomorrow. Oh, and they got in contact with Bucky and Clint, looks like they’ll be back around then too.”  
  
Loki tilted his head as he mulled over the information, “It seems everyone but my brother will be back then.”  
  
“Can’t really blame him for wanting to spend time with his wife. Although, they’ll probably return to their usual setup soon. She’s still working on the Foster theory.”  
  
Loki nodded thoughtfully, “Learning about the nature of the Bifrost is no small feat for a human.”  
  
You raised an eyebrow, “Is that a compliment I’m hearing?” You started to smirk at him but Loki simply scowled and returned his attention to his book.  
  
When night came, you led Loki back to his room, wondering how you might continue this routine without Natasha saying anything. If she caught on that you liked Loki, she would never let the subject drop. Even worse, she would probably tell him. You didn’t want to ruin the fragile connection you had made with him by introducing such a concept. You sighed as Loki glanced down at you, but he remained silent.  
  
Sleep was a long time coming for Loki, you on the other hand, were out like a light instantly.  
Loki rolled over onto his back, hissing slightly before adjusting to the mild discomfort. The pain was lessening by the day but it was still quite intense and he was unbearably weak.  
  
How long had the torture with Thanos lasted? “Lifetimes…” He whispered to himself before quickly looking at you to see if you had heard him.  When he saw that you were still asleep, he closed his eyes again. Eventually it had stopped, the torture, Thanos gave him some time to heal.  
  
No, Thanos was able to heal. At the end of each day, Thanos healed Loki’s flayed and bloodied body, allowing him to never truly forget mercy and relief. Then the next round would begin and he would lose himself to the hours, days, years; time had no meaning. Eventually the healing itself wasn’t enough and Loki was left with a constant ache. Then he came to Midgard and for the first time he wasn’t in constant pain, his body was able to heal. The beast had hurt him but, comparatively, it wasn’t that bad. Then the year or so in prison, there had been no torture. As Loki lay there, thinking about the agony he had experienced, he sank into sleep.  
  


* * *

  
You woke up suddenly, pained noises coming from nearby. It sounded like a wounded animal. You felt nauseous suddenly, the pain being inflicted on this creature must be horrendous. The only other person around…  
  
Your head snapped to the side and you saw Loki shaking beside you. He was making the most agonizing noises you had ever heard, hauntingly painful, and you realized tears were streaming down his cheeks, past his closed eyelids.  
  
“Loki.” You breathed softly, heart shattering.  
  
You thought the nightmares were nothing more than a vague memory but clearly not tonight.  
You sat up and grabbed Loki’s face, smoothing your thumbs along his cheeks to wipe the tears away.   
  
“Loki, hey, shhh, wake up.” You whispered soothingly. Still Loki continued to shake and whimper. You thought back to his last nightmare, how you had awoken him by pulling him close and trying to rock him. Then of when you had awoken him in Africa.  
  
You blushed but didn’t have time to be embarrassed for the whimpering was intensifying. Throwing caution to the wind, you cupped his face in your hands, closed your eyes and pressed your lips to his.  
  
Loki’s eyes opened and his gaze met yours, momentarily confused. More tears rolled down his cheeks and he pulled you against his chest, hugging you tightly and not saying a word. His strong arms wrapped around you made you feel safe, but then, you always felt safe around him.  
  
You hugged him back as fiercely as you could, wanting to share that sense of safety. You rested your head on his uninjured shoulder and with one hand you stroked his other shoulder, remembering the precise place the deep diagonal gash ended. “I’m here Loki, I’ll keep you safe.” You murmured. Loki’s breathing slowly evened out again and the two of you fell into deep peaceful slumbers.  
  


* * *

  
Loki woke before you and looked down at your warm figure that was curled so tightly against him. He frowned as he thought of your petal soft lips on his own. Surely that was just a dream and hadn’t happened, right?  
  
For a moment, he lay there, enjoying everything about you. The way your body curved perfectly against his, your gossamer hair sprawled out on his chest, your small delicate hand resting on his shoulder, the way your skin glowed in the morning light, how soft you felt pressed against him, and even the delicate movements brought about by your breathing.  
  
Loki smiled, but surely you hadn’t kissed him, after all he was a Jotun, a monster – not that you necessarily knew, that didn’t make it any less true.  
  
And then of course, there was no way he could care about you in that way, right?  
  
No, it must have been an unusual dream, brought on by your close proximity. You had probably grown cold in the night and moved towards the only source of warmth.  
  
Loki had convinced himself of all this by the time you opened your eyes.  
“Agent?” He murmured, his amusement clear in his voice, “what are you doing?”  
  
You felt your cheeks flush bright red, “S-sorry.” You stammered out, quickly moving away. Loki chuckled. Oh how you loved that sound. Then your eyes widened and you quickly rolled over, “Shit. Natasha and Bucky and everyone are getting back today.”  
  
Loki nodded quickly, “Right.”  
  
“I’m going to go get dressed and greet them. You stay here. I’ll help you get up in a bit, ok?” Loki nodded again. “Go back to sleep.”  
  
Loki sighed, then realized he did still feel drowsy. “Mmmk.” He muttered before rolling back over.  
  
You got up and tossed your things in your bag before hurrying down to your room and dressing. After you showered, a thought struck you that Natasha might check on your room. Flopping onto your bed, you rolled around some and made sure to ruffle the blankets.  
Then you stopped your movements for a moment and last night’s events came back to you. Had you really kissed Loki? He didn’t say anything… Surely that was just a dream then. A pleasant one, albeit, but a dream nonetheless.  
  
You left your room just as Natasha strode down the hallway. “Tasha!” You called happily.  
  
She turned around and smiled, quickly hurrying over to hug you. “(Y/n)!” She said after pulling away, “It’s so good to see you! Clint and Bucky just got back. Bucky is dying to check on Loki. Is he up?”  
  
“Dunno. I was just going to go check on him.”  
  
Natasha frowned reproachfully, “You left him alone?”  
  
“Just for the night. I’m not sleeping in that chair every night until he gets better. He can call me if he needs something.”  
  
She nodded slowly, “Fair enough.”  
  
“I’ll go get him up, Bucky’s in the lounge, yea?”  
  
“After he stops in his room, that’s where everyone plans to meet.”  
  
“Alright, see you shortly.”  
  
You hurried upstairs and helped Loki get out of bed. Then the two of you went up to the lounge and greeted Bucky and Clint. The two men were shocked by Loki’s state but glad to see that you had both made it back alive. They were also pleased to hear he was improving but you could tell they were surprised that with how weak he looked, it was still considered an improvement.  
You spent the rest of the afternoon catching up and eating your favorite foods.  
  
When night came you helped Loki back to bed before parting ways. As you crawled into your own bed, it struck you how much you missed the comfort of Loki beside you. Just as you drifted to sleep, you wondered if Loki felt the same.  
  
You wouldn’t know it, but he did.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More cutesie times, but *soon*

The next morning, after breakfast, you brought a tray down to Loki’s room. You figured it was best to still let him sleep in.  
  
You tapped gently on the door, “Hey Loki.” There was silence and your heart skipped a beat, visions of him lying bloodied on his bed again flashed through your mind. “Loki?” You called again, finally opening the door.  
  
His bed was empty.  
  
You looked around frantically, quickly setting the tray down, before you noticed the bathroom door was slightly ajar. Calling his name again, you walked over to the door. Closing your eyes, you breathed in deeply to brace yourself, then you opened your eyes again and you knocked.  
  
“Oh, hello agent.” Loki murmured.  
  
“Oh good, you’re-“ Your voice cut off with a squeak as you realized he was sitting in the bathtub. You quickly covered your eyes and spun around so your back was to the door. Luckily, the bathtub was angled in such a way that you didn’t see anything, though your face undoubtedly closely resembled a tomato. “Loki! I’m so sorry! I didn’t-” you heard Loki’s soft laughter and you fell silent, scowling.  
  
“Forgive me agent,” by the tone of his voice, you knew he was smirking, “I didn’t think I was strong enough to stand for a shower.”  
  
You slid to the ground, sitting with your back against the wall but able to speak through the crack of the door. “Right. Well, I brought you breakfast. You didn’t answer the door though and I was…” you trailed off quietly, you didn’t say it but you knew the worry was evident in your voice.  
  
“Apologies, I must have dozed off, I didn’t hear you.”  
  
You sighed before running your fingers through your hair, “Right.” You repeated, then you cleared your throat nervously and asked, “Do you, err, do you need anything?” Your voice was growing more timid and quieter the longer you spoke. Being honest with yourself, you were terrified he would say yes. It was already challenging enough to keep your head when he was shirtless, you figured you’d be struck dumb if he requested your help bathing.  
  
Loki laughed again, “I should be fine.” He paused, “Although, perhaps if you could help me reapply the bandages, that would be greatly appreciated.”  
  
You nodded, not that he could see you, and said, “Yea, sure. Just let me know when you’re ready.”  
  


* * *

  
Just upstairs, Natasha leaned against the bar counter, shoulders slumped and elbows propping her up.  
  
Bucky walked into the room and looked over at her, hearing her let out a deep sigh. “What’s wrong?” He asked.  
  
Natasha frowned, then instead queried, “How’s Steve and Sharon?”  
  
Bucky frowned thoughtfully, “Pretty good, I think. I mean they still talk from time to time, why?”  
  
“So I guess I’ve been relatively successful there.” She muttered.  
  
“Oh, you mean (Y/n) or Loki. Or I guess I should say, (Y/n)  _and_  Loki.” Bucky grinned and walked behind the bar looking for a drink.  
  
Natasha raised an eyebrow, “You noticed?”  
  
“A little. He clearly cares about her. And other than Thor, I’m one of the people he really talks to.” Bucky was quiet for a moment, “He…” Bucky hesitated, “he understands it, all of it.” Natasha nodded thoughtfully but stayed quiet. Bucky continued, “Steve can’t. I don’t want him to. But…” Bucky sighed, then laughed sheepishly, “Go figure, huh?”  
  
She smiled, “I’m glad to have everyone on the team like this. Thor is so happy to have his brother and Steve is so happy for you to be here. And then on top of that, it’s nice knowing you boys, really. And (Y/n), she’s great too. She brings a whole new life to everything.”  
  
“Water?” Bucky held out a glass for her.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
He poured his own and sat beside her. “I’m glad they’re back. Loki looks like hell though. (Y/n) is definitely taking care of him.”  
  
Natasha and Bucky turned simultaneously at the sound of the elevator opening. You and Loki walked out.  Loki’s hair was still damp from his bath. His walking was strained but unaided. You trailed close behind, watching carefully for any signs of stumbling. Loki reached the couch and sank down, breathing heavily, and he closed his eyes.  
After a moment he reopened them. “See? I told you I didn’t need help.”  
  
You rolled your eyes. “No need to strain yourself, dumbass.”  
  
“Mortal, I will snap your neck.” He growled.  
  
Sticking your tongue out at him, you retorted, “Not now you can’t.” He shook his head and leaned back in the seat, still easing his breathing. You looked up and noticed Bucky and Natasha staring at the two of you amused. “Oh hey guys! Bucky, Tasha.” You grinned.  
  
“Hey (Y/n).” Natasha glanced over at Bucky and gave him a knowing look.  
  
“I was never arguing with you.” He muttered. “Hey (Y/n), Loki. What are you two up to?”  
  
There was a hint of pink to your cheeks and you glanced at Loki.  
“I was proving that I could walk here, unaided, just fine. And I was right.” He sounded smug.  
  
You plopped down on the other couch. “It was touch and go for a bit there.” Loki scowled.  
  
Bucky’s grin widened. “We should spar sometime soon, give me a chance to kick your ass.”  
  
Loki scoffed. “As if you could.”  
  
Bucky came over and sat on the couch, talking with Loki. Natasha came over and the two of you started discussing the mysterious Dr. Braxton.  
  


* * *

  
A few more days passed like this, Loki was slowly but steadily improving.  
  


* * *

  
Loki lay on his back, legs folded up and head leaned against your hip. Once again, he was dozing. You, on the other hand, were idly scrolling through countless S.H.I.E.L.D. reports, scanning for any signs of the mysterious Dr. Braxton.  
  
You set the S.H.I.E.L.D. computer tablet down and traded it for the laptop beside you. Then you started to scan through countless news reports and conspiracy sites, looking for any hints of who this guy might be. Natasha had promised you some information from her old connections but it was taking time reaching you.  
  
All of this was beyond frustrating; this asshole hurt Loki and all you could do right now was stare at computer screens for hours. You screamed internally, cursing wildly at technology and everything for failing you, before calmly looking down at Loki.  
His eyes were shut and his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. He was finally back to wearing regular clothes; regular for humans. His armour still lay heavily on his injured skin so he wore t-shirts. Loki looked good in anything he wore and not having him shirtless anymore was good for your mental state. You found yourself able to ogle him for hours, at least this way it was easier to drag your focus away from him.  
  
Grinning, you pressed your palm over his face, causing him to open his bright green eyes and glare at you. “Having fun, are we?” His voice was muffled by your hand before he slowly moved it away.  
Giggling, you smiled at him before returning your attention to the screen. After you looked away, Loki’s eyes softened. Then he quickly smirked and stretched his arms with a groan, before shoving his hand into your face and nearly knocked you over.  
  
You were about to respond when the elevator door opened and Steve, Bucky, Natasha, and Clint walked out.  
“Oh hey guys!” You called, straightening yourself up.  
  
Loki forced himself up quickly, turning in the same movement so he was sitting beside you and now a polite distance away. “Afternoon.” He muttered, though his voice was not unfriendly.  
  
You saw Natasha roll her eyes.  
  
“Hey you guys.” Steve beamed. “How are things?” He asked as he walked over. Natasha hurried past him and sat on your other side before he could and started looking over your notes.  
  
“Any luck?” Bucky asked before joining Steve on the opposite couch.  
  
Shaking your head, you sighed, “No, nothing.”  
  
Then you heard Clint’s voice from near the bar, “Then I vote we go out and do something as a team tonight.”  
  
You glanced at Natasha. She shrugged then frowned thoughtfully. “I don’t see why not. Thor should be back soon. Tony and Bruce are in the lab. Loki, how about you?”  
  
“I wouldn’t mind doing something, being locked up in this tower is growing tedious.” Loki replied.  
  
You shot a look at him. “Why didn’t you say anything?”  
  
Loki shrugged, wincing just slightly, “We’ve been busy.” He jerked his head at the computer tablet in Natasha’s hands.  
  
You nodded slowly, this was the first day that Loki had gotten himself up without help, and even carried your breakfast from the kitchen to the couch; perhaps a team activity could do you both good.  
  
Natasha saw you hesitate, “You’re not going to get anywhere without my contacts, we might as well enjoy the free time.”  
  
Bucky and Steve were looking at you excitedly. You sighed, “Alright, that sounds good. What do you want to do?”  
  
“We should go to the carnival!” Clint said excitedly.  
  
Steve’s eyes lit up. “Yea! That sounds great!”  
  
You bit your lip and looked at Loki concerned.  
Loki smirked and rolled his eyes, “I’m fine agent.”  
  
You sighed, “Alright, Jarvis, can you send Tony and Bruce up? And Tasha, call Jane, we’ll invite her along also.” Natasha got up, taking out her cellphone as she walked and started talking.  
  
  
  
In ten minutes, the Avengers, Jane, and Pepper were assembled and in thirty, everyone was packed inside Tony’s limo and driving to the carnival.  
Loki was on the end seat by the window, you were on his other side and Bucky was next to you. You tried to leave space between you and Loki so you wouldn’t press or aggravate his injuries but it was proving more difficult than you had initially figured.  
  
“Agent.” Loki’s low voice caused you to look up, you had been eyeing the space between the two of you, hoping to stay as far away as possible. He was staring at you in amusement, “I’m fine.”  
  
You scowled before poking his chest. He gasped in pain, instantly pulling away. “No you’re not.”  
  
Loki glared at you, “Not if you do that,” he growled through gritted teeth, “I’m a god, I don’t need protection.”  
  
You glowered at him, “Tough shit. You’re still injured and weak as hell. I’m not letting it get any worse.”  
  
From your other side you felt Bucky nudge you. “(Y/n), you’re as bad as Steve when I first got back.” You glared at him.  
  
Before you could say anything, you heard Steve’s annoyed voice ask, “What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
Bucky let out an exasperated sigh, “It means we’re in a group so we’re not going to let anyone get hurt, but that we’re also able to take care of ourselves and need a break from being stuck in the tower.”  
  
Thor grinned at you and Loki, his arm was wrapped around Jane’s shoulder. He pulled her into a tighter hug before saying, “Yes, (y/n), my brother is fine.”  
  
You angrily folded your arms and leaned back in your seat, furiously trying to look away from everyone. After a moment it fell quiet and everyone continued with their own conversations. You looked down as you felt Loki’s hand touch your thigh.  
“Truly, agent,” he paused and you finally looked over at him, his intense green gaze locked with yours. “I’m fine, believe me. And you’re here, nothing is going to happen.”  
  
You felt your throat tighten and your voice dropped to a whisper, “I was there when you got hurt and couldn’t do anything.”  
  
Loki squeezed your leg, “Yes, and then you got us both out. I trust you, understand?” He smiled.  
  
You absently rubbed the back of his hand that was still resting on your leg, “Alright.” You muttered before smiling weakly.  
  
“We’re here!” Tony called from the driver’s seat.  
  
You and Loki quickly pulled away as the door opened and everyone crawled out.  
  
“This is fantastic!” Steve said, looking around at all the bright flashing lights of the rides and games.  
  
Bucky smiled as he looked around, “What should we do first?”  
  
The Avengers slowly started to make their way through the crowd, earning the occasional stares from passersby. Two super soldiers, two Norse gods, and Tony Stark really made you stand out.  
  
“Should we… Should we maybe split up?” Bruce asked quietly.  
  
Natasha scanned the surrounding crowd, noticing all the stares and even a few people pointing. “Yea…” She said slowly.  
  
“Two groups!” Tony announced, clapping his hands together. “Dibs on Pepper and Bruce!”  
  
“Well I want Clint and (Y/n).” Natasha replied.  
  
“I’m staying with Loki.” You grabbed Loki’s arm. He looked down at you and nodded.  
  
“Then I want Steve.” Tony said.  
  
Bucky stepped forward, grabbing Steve’s shoulder, “I’m staying with Steve.”  
  
“Then it looks like Jane and Thor are with us.” Natasha smiled at the couple who had been chatting happily in low voices. They looked up at the sound of their names and smiled.  
  
“Then that’s settled. Let’s go get something to drink.” Tony turned and walked off.  
  
“Stark, isn’t it a little-“ Steve sighed as Tony stoically ignored him.  
  
“Good luck you guys.” You called with a wave.  
  
Bucky facepalmed as he followed after Tony’s group.  
  
“Ok, so, (Y/n), Loki, Clint, Jane, Thor.” Natasha said as she pointed at everyone in the group. “What do you guys want to do first?”  
  
“How about the tower ride?” Clint pointed in the direction of a tall metal structure.  
  
You frowned thoughtfully, “Definitely best to do that sort of ride before we eat.” You hesitated, “Although, we get strapped in, Loki-?”  
  
“I’m fine, truly. Let’s go ride the metal tower.” Loki muttered, grabbing your wrist and gently leading you towards the ‘Drop Zone’.  
  


* * *

  
Once the six of you got in line, Thor asked, “So how does this work?” He looked at the ride curiously. Jane had been quietly explaining the different carnival rides as you walked, but had not gotten to this one.  
  
“You sit on the bench, ride up to the top and then they drop you. It’s pretty exciting.” Clint replied as he stared up at the screaming people.  
  
“If you’ve never gone skydiving, or in Thor’s place, flown…” You muttered.  
  
“This ride is scary, yes?” Loki asked as he looked up at the screaming people.  
  
You shrugged, “Technically.”  
  
Loki grinned, then looked back at you, “Then are you scared, agent? Is that why you don’t wish to ride it?”  
  
You scowled, “That’s not it at all! I just don’t want you to get hurt from the restraints.”  
  
“(Y/n), my brother has faced far greater foes, even here on Midgard.” Thor spoke to you gently.  
  
You crossed your arms and frowned. “I know that! I just-“  
  
Loki placed his hands on your shoulders and stared at you. “I. Am. Fine.” He said slowly and deliberately. “If there’s something wrong, I promise you, I will tell you. You have my word.”  
  
You sighed then slowly nodded, “Fine, but I’m holding you to that promise.”  
  
Loki smiled, “Excellent. Now let’s go get dropped.”  
  


* * *

  
After you got off the ride, Natasha was in tears laughing. “Was that Jane screaming or you Clint, I couldn’t tell.”  
  
Clint scowled, “I didn’t expect the drop! The guy said there was more time.”  
  
“What’d you think Loki?” You asked him as you walked to the next ride. You were pleased to discover you had no leftover anxiety from your plane crash in the Atlantic.  
  
Loki chuckled, “It was quite tame.”  
  
“Oh guys! Look at the merry-go-round!” Jane pointed at it happily.  
  
Your mouth fell open, “I haven’t been on one of those in ages!” You looked at Natasha pleadingly.  
  
“That’s for children you guys…”  
  
Thor managed an impressive display of puppy eyes, “Lady Natasha! Please! It looks most entertaining. And (Y/n) hasn’t been on it in ages.”  
  
You, Jane, and even Clint all looked at her hopefully. Natasha groaned and looked at Loki.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, “It looks ridiculous.”  
  
“C’mon brother!”  
  
“No.” Loki growled flatly as he crossed his arms.  
  
“Oh, come on, you grumpy old god…” You muttered, flicking his hand.  
  
“We’ll watch, go on.” Natasha shoo’d you off. She and Loki stayed behind as you, Clint, Jane, and Thor entered the merry-go-round.  
  
Loki and Natasha stood just outside the gate, watching in exasperation as the other Avengers and Jane carefully selected a horse.  
There were a few people casting you all strange looks, particularly Thor, the 6’4” ‘brick shithouse’, who was trying to squeeze onto one of the brightly coloured horses.  
  
“I can’t believe I never realized I was adopted.” Loki muttered.  
  
Natasha laughed, “Ok, but you have to admit, (Y/n) looks sweet.” You were standing between two horses, trying to choose which one was your favorite color.  
  
Loki smiled, the faintest bit of pink coming to his cheeks. He quickly scowled before pointing at Clint, “And what of the hawk?”  
  
Clint was already perched on his horse and looking around happily, giggling as Thor struggled to balance on the tiny plastic horse.  
  
Natasha’s smile widened, a small blush touching her cheeks, “He’s sweet too.”  
  


* * *

  
The ride ended and the four of you met back up with Natasha and Loki.  
“Brother, the merry-go-round was quite amusing; I can see where they got the name from.” Thor stood behind Jane, hugging her.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’m sure it was.”  
  
“What next?” You asked.  
  
It was Clint who replied, “How about the Spinmaster 3000?”  
  


* * *

  
“So how does this work?” Loki asked nervously as you waited beside the ride.  
  
“You stand up, leaning against the wall, and it spins really fast. The centrifugal force tries to throw you out, so you never drop, but the wall prevents you from actually leaving the ride.” Clint explained.  
  
Jane frowned, “Well… Technically it’s…”  
You turned your focus to the sounds of screaming as Jane began an in-depth analysis of how the ride’s physics actually worked. Clint’s eyes were slowly glazing over with boredom and then you were at the front of the line and being strapped in.  
  
You leaned against the wall as the ride operator walked around, double checking everyone’s straps. The wall pressed uncomfortably into your back and you felt a brief second of worry for Loki before forcing it from your mind. The ride began to spin, faster and faster, tilting and angling all the while. You felt a scream of delight being ripped from yourself, as well as all the people around you, slowly followed discomfort from the old metal contraption.  
  
After it slowly came to a stop, you looked over and noticed Loki looked paler than usual. You were about to ask him when you heard Clint groan, before watching him rush past to a garbage can.  
  
“I told you not to eat that sandwich before we left!” Natasha yelled at him, before slowly following after.  
  
Jane looked ashen and was stumbling, held straight by Thor. “That ride wasn’t very pleasant.” Thor muttered.  
  
“Yea…” You mumbled in agreement, not feeling that good yourself. You looked over at Loki, “Look, I know I promised, but are you really sure?”  
  
Loki leaned against a wall gingerly, “Perhaps… perhaps it’s best if I didn’t go on anymore rides for today.” Loki said quietly.  
Your face softened and you walked over to him, wrapping his arm over your shoulder. To the casual observer, no one would realize that Loki was placing most of his weight on you as he walked.  
  
“Let’s go take a break, get something to drink maybe.” Natasha said as she led the way. Clint’s stomach had settled down enough to walk.  
  


* * *

  
  
You eased Loki onto one of the picnic benches and he slumped forward, resting his head against his arms. You sat down on the table, absently rubbing his back and shoulders as you talked to the others. “How you doin’ Clint?”  
  
Clint was resting his forehead on the table and simply grunted.  
Natasha drank from a water bottle and let out a soft laugh, “He’s fine.” She glanced at Thor and Jane, “How about you two?”  
  
Thor smiled as Jane gave him a drink of her water, “We are well. How about you (Y/n), brother?”  
  
“I’m good.” You glanced down at Loki and offered him your water bottle.  
  
“’M fine.” He muttered quietly before taking a drink. You gently brushed the hair from his face.  
  
“C’mon Thor, (Y/n) can stay with these three, we’ll go get them some corndogs for supper.” Natasha motioned for Thor to come with her. He gently kissed Jane before getting up and following after Natasha.  
  
Clint groaned, “That ride was horrible… that wasn’t a ride, that was hell. Who suggested it?”  
  
“You did, you fool.” Loki muttered.  
  
“How do you think Tony’s group is doing?” Jane asked quietly.  
  
“Hopefully Tony isn’t wasted yet. I’m sure Steve and Bucky are enjoying themselves. This isn’t Coney Island but it’s still pretty nice.” You answered.  
  
“Well, I’m having a good time, overall, how about you guys?”  
  
You smiled, “Yea I am too, how about you guys?”  
  
Clint grumbled unintelligibly but it seemed positive.  
  
“It’s a nice change from the tower.” Loki said, still not lifting himself up from the table.  
  
You furrowed your brow, “Is it… are your stitches-?”  
  
“(Y/n)! We have food!” Thor called, interrupting you.  
  
“Oh, excellent!” Loki forced himself to sit up and accepted the corndog from Thor.  
You cast him a wary look before accepting your own from Natasha.  
  
“So I was thinking we should take a break from rides for a bit, do you guys want to play some games after we eat?” Natasha asked as she munched along.  
  
“Games?” Thor asked then added, “I really like this corndog.”  
“Great, and yea, I saw one that you’ll love.” Natasha said with a wide smile.  
  


* * *

  
The game operator eyed Thor warily before talking, “You just take this hammer, hit the pad right here, and if you make the bell ring, you win a prize. Get the lovely lady a nice stuffed lion.”  
  
“I wanna do it!” Clint shoved past and took the hammer from the game operator. Natasha tilted her head in amusement, watching to see how it would go.  
Clint swung the hammer into the air and slammed it down. You watched as the dial went halfway up and then stopped. Clint’s shoulders slumped and everyone burst out laughing.  
“Here, let me try Clint.” Natasha studied the hammer, then the pad; after a moment of calculation she swung the hammer at a seemingly random angle. It hit the pad, the dial shot up and the bell rang loudly. Natasha snickered as the man handed her the giant stuffed lion. “Here Clint, from the lovely lady.” She kissed his cheek and he smiled weakly at her.  
  
“Thanks Nat.”  
  
“How about you, sir?” The man held the hammer out to Loki.  
  
Loki smirked before taking it. Pausing a moment to gauge where to hit, Loki lifted the hammer over his head and gasped. The hammer fell to the ground as Loki bent over, breathing heavily.  
  
“Loki!” You yelled, moving towards him. Loki was doubled over and wrapped his arms around himself in pain. Forcing his hands away, you lifted his shirt up and searched the bandages. His back was clear. Then you forced him to turn and noticed the blood seeping through the bandages on the gash low on his hip.  
  
The man running the game blanched after seeing just a few of the many bandages covering Loki’s torso. “Is that guy ok?” He asked, turning to Jane.  
  
Jane covered her mouth as Thor moved to support Loki. “Brother? Why didn’t you say anything?” Thor growled.  
  
“It was fine until a moment ago.” Loki snapped.  
  
“Shut up, both of you.” You turned to the gamesman, “Where’s the first-aid tent?” He mutely pointed and you nodded, “thanks.”  
  
“How can I be of assistance?” Thor asked.  
  
“We’ll be fine, don’t worry. I’ll call Bruce and have him meet us at the tent.” Thor frowned and made to say something so you lowered your voice and added quietly, “I don’t want to make too much of a scene.” People were already starting to look.  
  
Thor nodded, “Right.” He turned back to the game operator, “(Y/n) will take care of my brother. Let me see if I can best this tiny game of yours.”  
  
Turning, you smiled as you supported Loki along.  
You carefully took out your phone, hissing reminders at Loki to keep applying pressure. Then Bruce answered, “Hey, yea, it’s us. Everything is ok. Do you think you could meet us at the medical tent?”  
  


* * *

  
Bruce had shown the workers at the station his credentials and they gave him free rein of their supplies. “Remind me again how this is ‘ok’?” Bruce muttered, though he was still in good spirits.   
  
You glared at Loki.  
Loki rolled his eyes, “That Spinmaster contraption probably loosened the stitches, that ridiculous game is what caused them to completely tear. Truthfully.”  
  
“There.” Bruce finished reapplying the bandage over the stitches. “Good as new.”  
  
“Thanks Bruce. How were things with Tony?” You asked as you sat down next to Loki.  
  
Bruce chuckled, “Tony is doing ok. Apparently Pepper is quite the thrill seeker though, she’s been having us ride all the rides and play all the games. Bucky and Steve appear to be enjoying themselves. How about with Nat?”  
  
“Clint got himself sick, but Jane and Thor seem to be having a wonderful time.” You glanced at Loki. “I was having fun too. How about you Loki?”  
  
Loki nodded then quietly murmured, “Thank you Bruce.”  
  
“I’ll go tell Nat that Loki’s alright. Should we call it an evening?” Bruce looked at Loki then back at you.  
  
You shook your head, “Nah, we’ll take it easy, maybe catch a cab. You guys enjoy the rest of the evening.”  
  
“A cab?” Bruce looked doubtful.  
  
“We’ll be fine. Don’t call it quits because of us, you’ll make us feel bad. Make sure you ride the Ferris Wheel though, I didn’t have the chance.”  
  
Bruce smiled, “Alright, good night then.” Bruce got up and left.  
  
Loki stayed on the seat silently staring at his lap. “You were having a good time?”  
  
You smiled at him, “Definitely. How about you?”  
  
Loki glanced up, “Spending the day with you has been enjoyable.” He sighed and gingerly straightened himself, “But I’ve gone and ruined it, haven’t I?”  
  
You frowned, “Ruined it? How so? I mean sure we’re in a medical tent, but I’m still having a decent time, since you’re doing ok. You are doing ok, right?”  
  
Loki nodded, “Yes, I’m well enough. Given the circumstances anyways.” He added ruefully.  
  
“Awesome!” You touched his shoulder, “Shall we get going then?”  
  
Loki furrowed his brow, “What’s the Ferris Wheel?”  
  
“It’s the really big wheel. It’s dark out, so it’s probably lit up now. Really beautiful, and you get up high enough so you’re away from the crowd and it’s like a bit of peace and quiet in the middle of all this excitement. I don’t remember how young I was when I last rode on one, but I liked it.”  
  
“Another spinning wheel?” Loki raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Slow spinning, kinda a steady climb and then it sits there as people fill in, then lazily moves along.”  
  
“We should go on it. I don’t want to ruin your evening because of my foolishness.”  
  
“It’s not your fault the stitches ripped.”  
  
Loki shrugged, “Yes, but you want to go on the Ferris Wheel, come, I’d like to experience it for myself.” He stood up, pausing, then quietly added, “With you…” He hesitantly offered you his hand. You noticed it was the left one, and the stitches were gone but the faint blue scar was still visible.  
  
You smiled and took it, slowly getting to your feet. After a moment of hesitation, you laced your fingers together, wondering if he’d stop you. At first Loki appeared startled, then he offered you a warm smile and squeezed your hand gently.  
“Alright,” you could feel the blush growing on your cheeks, “Let’s go.”  
  
The two of you weaved through the crowds, making your way to the Ferris Wheel. The sun had set while you were inside the tent and the glowing lights of the rides bathed the fairgrounds in a happy glow. Peals of laughter and squeals of delight filled the air, along with the smell of delicious fair foods. Loki’s cool hand fit perfectly around yours. Your smile widened as you led him along, happy that he couldn’t see how much like a bubbly highschooler you resembled.  
  
Loki trailed close behind you, marveling at everything about you. The lights of the carnival glowing in the sky held nothing of the beauty in you. Your hair fluttered with your movements and you briefly glanced over your shoulder to make sure Loki was fine. Your eyes were alight with happiness and excitement.  
  
Then you arrived at the wheel, just as the next group of people was being seated. You and Loki got seats quickly before slowly ascending to the top.  
Loki looked out over the skyline as your seat stopped while the seats below you slowly filled.  
  
“It is beautiful.” He murmured, then looked at you and smiled. Hesitantly, he rested his arm over your shoulder and you leaned against him, mindful still of his injuries. The two of you sat in silence, both basking in the glow of the rides and enjoying each other’s company.  
  
After a moment you realized you could make out the stars. “You know,” you pointed at the brightest formation. “That one is called the Lokabrenna. Loki’s torch. The brightest star in the sky.”  
  
Loki grinned, “Yes, it is.”  
  
“It’s nice. The bright star, like you, you know?”  
  
Loki chuckled, “That’s not always the case.”  
  
You managed a small shrug, even though you were leaning against him. “Well, when I was locked up back in Mexico.” You paused, thinking back on the incident. “I realized you shouldn’t come. I didn’t deserve it, I had hurt you, and you should have left.” You looked up at Loki and saw he was frowning at you. “But I kept hoping that you’d show up. You were the bright star to give me hope.” You smiled, thinking of how happy you had been when that door swung open and you realized Loki had come back for you.  
  
Loki rested his head against yours as you rested your head on his shoulder. “Well, the torch is a beacon of light. Someone has to be the star.”  
  
You felt a warm flush on your cheeks and your smile widened, “I never really thanked you for saving me.”  
  
“I never really thanked you for saving me either.”  
  
“You didn’t have to.”  
  
“Exactly. Like I said, (Y/n), I promise I will keep you safe.”  
  
You looked up at him, your eyes met his. You could feel yourself getting lost in the bright green abyss of his eyes. Though you didn’t know how much you were blushing, you could faintly see the pink in Loki’s cheeks.  
  
“Loki, I-“ you felt your emergency S.H.I.E.L.D. alert. Bitterly you tore your gaze from Loki and looked at it.  
  
 _’We know who those bastards are.’_


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;)

Instantly you were on alert, the moment forgotten.  
  
A flood of messages started coming through your phone and you started reading them. Some were in languages you didn’t recognize and you furrowed your brow.  
  
Loki noticed the sudden change in your demeanor and looked over your shoulder.  
“Natasha’s people, they just got back to me.” You looked up at Loki.  
  
Loki nodded, “Right.”  
  
The Ferris Wheel came to a stop and you got up, hardly looking up from your phone. Loki angled you through the crowd, making sure you didn’t walk into too many people.  
  
He felt a sadness in his heart, wondering what you were going to say. Then he pushed it away, replacing it with his steely resolve. One of the things he had gleaned during his tortures was they were the same group that had hurt you.  
  
“You should probably tell the others.” Loki said quietly.  
  
You absently shook your head, only half listening, “No, Bruce knows we planned to leave early.” Then you looked up. “Where’s a damned cab when you need one?”  
  


* * *

  
Soon you were back at the tower. You gathered your supplies and went to Tony’s lab, spreading the files across his many computer screens. Loki studied the parts containing languages you either didn’t know or were largely unfamiliar with.  
  
“There’s so much…” You muttered quietly as it continued to load.  
  
“Look here.” Loki pointed at a spot.  
  
You squinted your eyes, “What?”  
  
“That’s the director.” You expected Loki to be expressing some sort of rage, but he seemed to be more taken aback than anything.  
  
“What about him?”  
  
Loki’s frown deepened, “What was it we were looking for back in Canada?”  
  
“Some stolen intel from Stark, why, what’s that have to do with Fury?”  
  
You could practically see Loki thinking. “Something isn’t right with this.” He shook his head angrily, “I don’t know what though.”  
  
“We’ll come back to it, that’s one small piece of many. Look here.” You pointed at a series of maps and detailed schematics.  
Still the information continued to upload. Your shoulders slumped, “This could take weeks, months even, to sift through. What if time is of the essence? Like he’s constantly moving and we won’t be able to hold him in one place for long?”  
  
“There might be a pattern to his movements.” Loki hesitated. “Jarvis?”  
  
“Yes sir?” The computer system replied.  
  
Loki stepped forward and started moving files around. Typing and scanning and, you swore, working magic into the computer. “Are you advanced enough for this algorithm?” Loki asked, not looking up.   
  
“I believe so.”  
  
“We really should bring some Asgardian technology here. So much of this has been antiquated for centuries.”  
  
You frowned, feeling defensive of humans, “It’s not that bad.”  
  
“Agent, Midgardians spent several centuries perfecting ways of more efficiently hurting each other.”  
  
“Yea, well, when two Asgardians most recently showed up on earth again, they immediately destroyed a small town.”  
  
Loki cast you a sideways look, “Fair enough.” He grinned, “I guess there’s more similarities than we would care to admit.” Then Loki muttered quietly, “Someone should tell Odin.”  
You couldn’t hide a giggle. Loki flashed a smile at you before looking at the screens once more. Letters and numbers continued to scroll down the screens, taking up every ounce of space and continuing beyond.  
  
“Nat’s contacts sure are thorough.” You said, still trying to read everything at once.  
  
“Agent, Loki, my apologies, but this algorithm will take close to twelve hours to run through.” Jarvis interrupted you and Loki.  
  
You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. Then glancing at the time, you exhaled heavily: it was already midnight.  
  
While you had been uploading the information, you’d managed to convince the other Avengers to go to bed, even going so far as to lock the door so Tony and Bruce couldn’t get in. Pepper was grateful that it forced Tony to sleep tonight.  
  
Loki eased himself onto the chair beside you while you idly spun around.  
  
Still the information continued to flow.  
  
Around 3 a.m., you started to doze. Loki looked exhausted and you could see the pressure of the day wearing on him.  
  
However, he seemed intensely focused on the part about Fury. Occasionally more information would appear beside it but it was few and far between.  
  
“You sure you’re not paying too much attention to that?” You murmured sleepily.  
  
Loki frowned, silently shaking his head. He was struggling to focus by now.  
  
Just as the sun started to peak over the horizon, you heard a strange sound. It startled you from your dazed sleep deprived state. “Oh good, that’s the last of it.” Your voice was groggy.  
Loki had taken his shirt off, the material growing increasingly uncomfortable against his few exposed stitches. Only the worst injuries were still covered.  
  
Loki grunted, “Perhaps we should sleep. There’s no way we’re going to get anything done like this, and the mind does well while thinking subconsciously.”  
  
You sighed, “Alright. You go, I’ll-“  
  
Loki grabbed your wrist and pulled you to your feet, “No. Bed now. The next few days are going to be very long. This will be our last break for a time while we wait for Jarvis to finish.”  
  
There was logic to Loki’s argument and you sighed, finally giving in. Whatever algorithm Loki had assigned the computer was bound to be useful.  
  
You both moved to the elevator to go to your separate rooms. “Good night Loki.” You mumbled as you left the elevator.  
  
“Good night agent.”  
  


* * *

  
You slept for a few hours, before jolting awake as you remembered the messages. You wanted to let Loki rest after such a hectic day so you didn’t stop at his room, instead opting to go straight to the lab.  
  
You had made sure to choose the computer lab and not Tony’s more practical one where he could run large experiments. The elevator door opened and you saw Loki hunched against one of the counters, head in his hands.  
  
“The algorithm just finished.” Loki muttered not looking up.  
  
“I’ve started sending the files to S.H.I.E.L.D. Mariah Hill requested permission to assist with this.” Jarvis added.  
  
Loki nodded, then muttered, “Quaking Aspen.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Pando really.” Loki corrected himself. You continued to stare at him in confusion. “It’s a tree here on Midgard.”  
  
“What’s that have to do with anything?” You were wondering if Loki was growing sleep deprived, he had woken before you.  
  
“There’s a massive one, the forest is called Pando. It’s one tree that grew stems to create a forest. Most assume it’s many separate trees but in reality, it’s just one massive tree.” Loki ran his hands through his hair and looked up. “This Hydra organization is massive… it’s like the hydra beast, in the sense that it has so many heads and is a nightmare to kill. But the tree… you have to search through a forest to find it, sift through all the leaves, get to the very roots of it. It’s no wonder this Hydra group has survived for some human lifetimes. Especially since they’ve done work with the tesseract.” Loki hunched back over, you could see a shiver run through him. “Tesseract.” He spat.  
  
You walked over and put your hands on his shoulders, resting your head lightly on his back. “Hey,” You said softly, “Don’t worry, we’ve got this. We’ll figure this out.”  
  
Loki leaned into your touch. Then he sighed, “Humans should not have involved themselves with that.” He looked over at you, suddenly feeling a sense of melancholy overwhelming him. He might not be overly fond of humanity as a whole, but you were part of it. The tesseract held great power and he could achieve massive feats with it, but the human’s use of it had put you in danger.  
  
Loki frowned, enjoying your closeness, but realized that he would gladly give up the tesseract for you.  
  
You laughed softly, “Yea, probably not.” Finally you pulled away. “Let me go get some coffee, we’ll find that tree.”

* * *

\- Two weeks passed this way. 

* * *

  
  
You and Loki were in the lab, looking at different screens, trying to analyze the countless amounts of data in front of you.  
One of the screens pinged and Mariah Hill’s image appeared on it. You and Loki looked up simultaneously.  
  
“Agent, Loki.” Mariah nodded at each of you in turn.  
  
“Agent Hill.” You replied. Loki simply nodded curtly.  
  
“I’ll be over later this evening to collect you both. Those last few files you sent, we matched them up with ours.” She offered you a rare smile, “looks like all this work has paid off.”  
  
You smiled in relief and glanced at Loki. He was mirroring your expression. Then he became serious and glared, his voice lowering, “We have to discuss the director’s actions-“  
  
Mariah raised her hand to cut him off, “I’d rather talk about that in person, if that’s fine with you.” Her tone made it clear that she didn’t really care about your personal preference.  
  
You raised your eyebrow then nodded slowly, “That sounds good.” You glanced at the time, it was early morning. “See you then.” The screen turned off. “I don’t know about you, but I need a shower.”  
  
Loki chuckled, “That sounds pleasant.”  
  
Your eyes met and the two of you blushed before quickly looking away. “I meant… like I’m gonna… I’m going… I’ll be in my room.”  
  
Loki nodded quickly, coughing, “Right, of course. We should eat lunch afterwards or something.”  
  
You smiled awkwardly, blushing deeply before hurrying out of the room. As you stood waiting at the elevator, you couldn’t get the image of Loki standing in the shower, long fingers trailing through the black strands of his hair, slicked back with soap, the suds running down his lean frame. Water tracing along his muscular abs and running down his long legs.  
  
You swallowed hard, trying to shake the thought from your mind.  
  
You squeaked when Loki appeared next to you and you feared just how red your face was. Then you sighed inwardly, forgetting that Loki would be sharing the elevator with you. Risking a peek, you glanced up at Loki and saw that he was staring down at you with concern. Once more you tried to force your mind from the gutter but he was standing so close to you, everything about him was intoxicating-  
  
The elevator doors slid open and you ducked inside. Loki slowly followed after you, still with that same concerned expression.  
  
You slammed your door shut behind you and groaned as you leaned against it, sliding defeated to the floor.  
  
There was no denying it, you truly liked him.  
  
You shut your eyes, heart aching, it’s not like you could say anything. There’s no way he would ever feel the same way about you. And worse yet, you were human, he was Asgardian.  
  
‘ _Thor and Jane managed it_ ’ A voice whispered in your mind.  
  
You shook your head, that was Thor though, Thor liked humans. Loki seemed to tolerate humans at best, saying he liked you was still generous.  
  
Resignedly, you stood up and gathered clothing for your shower. You had work to do. You still had to pay those bastards back for hurting Loki.  
  


* * *

  
After your shower, you went upstairs, meeting Loki in the kitchen and ate; the awkwardness in the elevator was all but forgotten. Some of the other Avengers ate with you. You briefly mentioned that you had been in contact with agent Hill and would be leaving sometime in the afternoon. Acknowledgements were made and then they left.  
  
Loki told you his gear was already prepared to leave but you still had to pack. So you left him to nap on the couch in the lounge while you returned to your room.  
  
After double-checking all your gear, including the replacement set of knives that Tony had gotten you, you entered the elevator to return to the lounge.  
The elevator door opened and you strode into the room, searching for your partner.  
  
Loki lay on his back, stretched across the sofa. One hand lay beneath his head, the other lazily draped over the side as he dozed in the warm sunlight coming through the massive windows overlooking New York.  
  
You couldn’t help but notice how picturesque he looked, bathed in the golden glow of the sun.  
One of his green eyes peeked open as he sense a presence. “Oh, it’s you.” Loki offered you a small smile before shutting his eyes again.  
  
You shook yourself, finally realizing that you had stopped in the middle of the room to gawk at him. Making a mental note to alter Jarvis’ security footage you smiled back. “Yep, just me.”  
  
Loki smirked, “It’s never  _just_  you.” He murmured, there was a heaviness to his voice that made you frown.  
  
“The others are all out right now?” You meant it as a statement, they were indeed away from the tower, but your confusion at his words made it sound like a question.  
  
Loki opened both his eyes, moving slowly to sit up. He winced as he moved, some of the bandages tugging uncomfortably at his skin.  
  
You sat down on the other couch and smiled. “It’s good to see you’re finally healing.”  
  
Loki chuckled, “Yes, thanks in no small part to your fine healing skills.”  
  
You felt the shadow of a blush on your cheeks as you managed to smirk at him. Talking to Loki while he was shirtless had always been challenging.  
“S.H.I.E.L.D. first aid,” you shrugged, “basic stuff, if you were human, we’d both be in bad shape.”  
  
Loki nodded, “Yes, I suppose so.” He paused and stared down at the dressings. “I wonder if I should take them off now, the last of the stitches hardly need to be covered.”  
  
You nodded thoughtfully, “That’s true.”  
  
“I’ll go do that.” Loki moved to stand.  
  
You rolled your eyes, “By yourself? Not a chance dumbass.”  
  
“Mortal.” He smirked.  
  
You sat down beside Loki, motioning for him to turn so you could inspect his back. As always, you marveled how he could feel cold to the touch yet warm when he had held you in the past. It took a few moments to remove all the dressings; the damage, after all, had been severe. But you were relieved to see they were mostly healed, it wouldn’t be long and you could have Bruce remove the last of the stitches.  
  
When the dressings were all removed, you brushed his sleek hair away from his shoulder to look at one of the deeper injuries that crossed up to it.  
“I think this one is likely to scar.” You muttered with a sigh, placing the faintest pressure to it as your fingers traced the skin. Loki shivered involuntarily and you pulled away, fearful you'd hurt him. “Sorry!”  
  
Loki shook his head, “It’s fine, don’t worry.” You couldn’t see his face since his back was to you.  
“Are you going to hide it?” You asked quietly. This one had been deep and had that same tinge of blue that you’d seen on him before.  
  
“Hide it?” Loki stiffened. He tried to turn around to face you but had to move slowly since the stitches still tugged uncomfortably in some places.  
  
You nodded. “Your other scars, I’ve seen them before, but you hide them. With magic.” You added.  
  
Loki nodded. “Yes, I suppose I do hide them.” He looked down at some of the freshly healing cuts. One on his rib was as deep as the gash on his back for it too had a faint blue tinge to it.  
  
“They look kinda blue, the worst ones do, have you ever noticed?” You asked curiously, studying him.  
  
Loki’s teeth were clenched when he answered. “Yes, I have.”  
  
“Must be an Asgardian thing. I can’t think of any injuries like that on humans. Then again, I don’t know if I’ve seen any scars like that on Thor.” You paused. “Maybe it’s the quality of care. All of these seem to be fixed after being on earth. Do Asgardian healers have ways of stopping scarring?” You stopped as you realized Loki was glaring at you murderously. “I- what? I’m really sorry…” You trailed off, not sure what you were apologizing for.  
  
When you fell silent, Loki closed his eyes, sharply turning his head away from you. For the briefest moment you thought his cheeks were damp but the curtains of his hair quickly hid it.  
“Loki?” You whispered hesitantly, worry written across your features. “Loki, please, are you ok?” You reached your hand out towards him. His hand gripped yours and forced you away. “Hey!” You yelped, surprised and a little hurt.  
  
“I’m fine, it’s, it’s nothing.” His voice shook.  
  
“No.” You breathed in deeply. “No. You’re not fine and it’s not nothing. Dammit Loki, please trust me, I just want to help you.” You felt angry tears at the corners of your eyes.  
  
“The scars…” Loki whispered, nearly imperceptibly, and you strained to hear him, “it’s not Asgardian.”  
  
“So? What’s that mean?”  
  
“It means I’m not Asgardian.” Loki’s shoulders shook and you saw a tear drop fall to the floor.  
  
“But you’re Thor’s brother.”  
  
“Adopted.” He hissed, still not looking at you and his face masked by his hair.  
  
“But you’re not human and you’re practically his age.” You said, struggling to understand.  
  
“There are other realms.”  
  
“Oh. Ok then.” You smiled. “So you’re different then. We’re all kinda different here.”  
  
Loki glared at you, eyes blazing. “You don’t get it!” He roared. You shrank back from his voice then watched as his skin slowly turned blue and his eyes grew red as rubies. “I am from Jotunheim. I’m a Jotun, a frost giant, a damned monster that is told about in tales to frighten children, that will make a warrior’s blood run cold as the wasteland of my birth home.” He paused to glare at you. “See, even you – you who promised to be there for me no matter what – shirk away from the sight of me.”  
  
You stopped moving as he shook in rage, grief, agony – you didn’t know which. Then you sat up straighter and glared back. He seemed startled by your defiant expression and fell silent.  
  
“No. I am not moving away because of how you look, I’m moving because you’re yelling. You are the same Loki that I know and care about. The same Loki who has fought by my side, saved me from my reckless stupidity. The Loki who hangs out with me, pranks Tony and the other Avengers, who has fought by our sides to protect and save this world. You are the same Loki who is my partner and whose life I barely managed to save and who I’ve promised a thousand times that I will not leave you because you are my friend.” You felt tears at the corners of your own eyes. “The Loki who risked everything to prove he was worthy of love, who was tortured into crimes beyond imagine, and who accepted death to avenge his mother and save the woman his brother loves.”  
  
Loki’s mouth dropped open. “She’s not my mother, I told her so.”  
  
“She’s the woman who loved and raised you. She’s the woman whose picture is in a music box resting atop the dresser in your bedroom where you can see it from any place in the room, no matter how you situate yourself.” You shot back. This time Loki shrank away from you, eyes widening in surprise. “See!” You continued, “You shrink away from me, a pathetic mortal whose neck you could easily snap. But you don’t. Do you know why?” You didn’t give Loki time to answer. “Because you are not a monster. Because you are my partner and you. Are. My.  _Friend._ ” You accentuated each word with a poke to his icy chest. The ice burned but you ignored the pain.  
  
Finally you fell silent, breathing heavily.  
  
Loki’s mouth opened and closed several times, his silver tongue failing him.  
Eventually the blue of his skin began to fade to its regular alabaster and he gripped your hands with his, squeezing them tightly.  
“Do you… do you really mean that? Do you really believe that?” He whispered, studying you earnestly.  
  
In response, you reached your arms around him, pulling him into a hug and cradling his head under your chin. “Every word.” You said calmly. After a moment you pulled away. “Or I wouldn’t have said it, dumbass.” You grinned.  
  
Loki felt a small smile cross his features. “Perhaps today I won’t snap your neck, but know that I can.” He looked down at you fondly.  
  
“Of course you can, you grumpy old god, but you won’t because you’re my closest friend.”  
  
Loki rested his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently. “Yes. I suppose you are my closest friend as well.”  
  
“I won’t tell Thor or Bucky as long as you don’t tell Nat.”  
  
“I may be the god of mischief and lies, but you can trust me not to repeat that.” He grinned.  
  
Straightening up, you called, “Jarvis… have you been listening?”  
  
“Apologies (Y/n), but I can’t simply leave.” The AI answered.  
  
You sighed. “I don’t trust Tony not to be an ass. Give me a moment Loki, I’m gonna alter the security feeds.”  
  
Loki waved his hand and a soft glow came from it. “Consider it done.” He smirked.  
  
Your mouth fell open. “How long have you been doing that? Jarvis?”  
  
“Yes miss?”  
  
“Did Loki really say that?”  
  
“I don’t understand, the two of you have been watching television, neither of you have spoken since breakfast.”  
  
“Right…” You rolled your eyes. “C’mon Loki.” You muttered, motioning for him to follow.  
  
Loki hesitantly stood up and allowed you to lead the way to the library floor.  
  
“How long have you been doing that?” You demanded once you were just outside Loki’s door, you knew the audio didn’t record here. Tony’s setup for Jarvis’ ability to spy on the tower was complex. He wasn’t actively trying to spy, but he did want security footage if ever necessary. Also, any place that Jarvis could interact could also, in theory, be spied on and recorded.  
  
“Very occasionally.” Loki muttered, gently crossing his arms. You glared at him. “I assure you, it’s never been malicious, only the occasional trick that I’ve felt like pulling without the knowledge of the metal man.”  
  
You scowled. “Fine.” Then you paused a moment, thinking carefully. “Tricks only?”  
  
Loki eyed you warily. “Perhaps the rare occasion that I felt I had information that I wished to not share.”  
  
“So if you had done something nice?”  
  
Loki shrugged indifferent. “Possibly, I’m not sure-“  
  
“Would this be nice?” You stood on your tiptoes and leaned forward, gently pressing your lips to his. Then you pulled back quickly and searched his face for some response. Internally you were screaming, suddenly terrified that you had done something wrong.  
  
What if you tried to cross a line you shouldn’t have? What would Loki do? You could feel panic starting to well as Loki stood there in stunned silence.  
  
Slowly you shook your head. The butterflies of excitement fluttering in your stomach slowly turned to a mass of fearful nausea. “Loki, I didn’t- shouldn’t…” the words jumbled together as you stepped back. You tried to form apologies, anything to get Loki to respond.  
  
Loki’s arms had unfolded at your movements. He shook his head and reached his hand out, cupping your cheek and searching your eyes. Then he pressed his own mouth to yours, lips meshing together as he kissed you passionately. Loki’s hand pressed the nape of your neck pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. Your own hands slipped into his hair, knotting your fingers into the silky strands. Your mouths moved together passionately as both yours and Loki’s eyes drifted shut.  
  
In what felt like a lifetime and in the same instance, no time at all, there was a ding from the elevator, signaling its arrival. Mariah Hill stepped out, “(Y/n), Loki, let’s go. I found your things in the lounge, hurry up.”  
  
Loki had pulled away before she started speaking. He was breathing heavily and he searched your face uncertainly, though his eyes were dark as he studied you. A small smile played at the corner of his mouth.  
  
You tried to calm your breathing as you stared back. “Right.” You said slowly. “I’m not sure… Was that- I’m not, never mind, that was out of line, sorry.” You shook your head.  
  
“Wait.” You managed to look at him, completely lost for his response. “That was nice.” Loki gently touched your upper arm. “We’ll continue this conversation later, yes?” He nodded at you.  
  
“Ok.” You whispered with a small nod.  
  
Mariah cleared her throat. “Are you two about done?”  
  
“Apologies.” Loki muttered.  
  
“Yea, sorry Mariah, err, long day.”  
  
Mariah rolled her eyes, “Your things are in the car waiting outside. We have things to discuss at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ.”  
  


* * *

  
You, Mariah, and Loki rode in silence. Mariah drove the S.H.I.E.L.D. SUV with you in the passenger seat and Loki in the rear. You kept glancing at the rearview mirror, trying to read Loki’s expression. Mariah had been with you since you kissed Loki.  
  
You kissed Loki.  
  
The taste of his lips lingered on your own. You turned to gaze out the window, gently brushing your fingers along your lips, trying to savor the sensation.  
  
Not only had you kissed Loki, but he had kissed you back.  
  
Your emotions roiled as you tried to understand what just happened. Did it mean anything? Loki was, in all honesty, very old. He had definitely kissed (and probably more) other women, was this something relatively normal for him?  
Thor didn’t seem to do that sort of thing, so it probably wasn’t an Asgardian thing. Was it maybe a Jotun thing? You shook your head mentally, Loki didn’t seem to relate to Jotuns any more than he had to.  
  
You considered entertaining the thought that he felt the same way about you.  
  
You glanced up at the rearview mirror. Loki was back in his leather and metal armour, arms crossed and staring out the window. There were no visible signs that it meant anything.  
  
Beside you, Mariah Hill continued driving, seemingly oblivious to everything but the car and the route it was taking.  
  


* * *

  
“We’re here.” Mariah’s voice roused you from your thoughts.  
She exited the car, leaving it for a different S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to park, before briskly leading the way into a large building. You and Loki quickly crawled out of the car and hurried after her, she wasn’t bothering to make sure you followed.  
  
Mariah’s pace made it feel like you were chasing her, rather than being led, giving you little opportunity to talk to Loki. Other members of S.H.I.E.L.D. occasionally looked over as they saw you and Loki pass by. Loki was, after all, a Norse deity nearly jogging through S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, it made sense that he was drawing attention.  
  
Mariah came to an abrupt stop at a set of glass doors. “Ready?”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow uncertainly then frowned. “What do you mean?”  
  
Instead of answering, Mariah simply pushed through the doors and led you inside.  
  
Your mouth dropped open as you recognized a man in a black leather trench coat, hunched over a glass table and reading various reports.  
  
“Fury.” Loki snarled, stalking towards him.  
  
“Wait!” You put your arm out in front of Loki as Fury looked up.  
  
The director looked relieved to see your actions had stopped Loki’s advance. It briefly occurred to you that if Loki wanted to get to Fury, he easily could without hurting you.  
  
“I can explain.” Nick held his hands up slowly.  
  
“I expect you to.” Loki responded with an eerie calm, though his eyes still blazed with anger.  
  
Fury flashed a quick smile at you, “Good job Agent, you’ve done quite an excellent job working with him.”  
  
You crossed your arms and furrowed your brow, “I have half a mind to strangle you myself, don’t thank me. This is all Loki.”  
  
A flicker of amusement crossed Loki’s face and he still looked ready to pounce, but for now he held still. Fury nodded slowly and solemnly. “I understand.” Fury glanced at Loki, “Then thank you for that.”  
  
Loki strode over to Fury, and produced a pamphlet of files, tossing them onto the table. A few of the papers spilled out and you recognized them as some of the photos that had so strongly captured Loki’s attention during the earliest parts of your research. You looked between the two men uncertainly.  
  
“Explain.” Loki growled.  
  
“There isn’t much time, this window of opportunity is very small.” Fury spoke calmly.  
  
“Make time.”  
  
“I’ll do what I can, but we have to get that quinjet out ASAP.” Loki nodded at Fury’s words.  
  
You stepped forward, “Loki’s not going with though. This is a small base, just a holdup where Braxton is.”  
  
Loki’s mouth fell open, “You’re not going alone.”  
  
“I know, I’m going with Mariah.” You turned back to Fury who had been watching the exchange silently. “Now tell me what the hell Loki found with those pictures and what the  _fuck_  you've been doing.”  
  


* * *

  
You walked over to the base of the quinjet, the engines already started. Your bag was slung over your shoulder as you faced Loki.  
  
Mariah hurried past you, “Coming Agent?” She called.  
  
“Thanks for understanding Loki.” You said as quietly as you could, given that you were standing next to a loud plane.  
  
Loki nodded curtly, “I don’t like this.”  
  
“Hey, Fury can give you more details while I’m gone. And don’t worry, I’ve worked with Mariah before, she knows what she’s doing. It’s just a small hideout; Braxton has been on the down low since our excursion in Africa. It’s just a small base in Northern Siberia.” You smiled reassuringly. “I know you’re mostly healed, but you still have a few stitches, and if you don’t have to strain yourself, it’s for the better, right?”  
  
“Do you promise you’ll be back in one piece? Completely unharmed?”  
  
You smiled, “Absolutely.”  
  
“Don’t lie to me.”  
  
“We still have to finish that conversation from earlier, right?” Your smile was small and weak, though your voice was hopeful.  
  
Loki smirked, “Yes, hopefully sooner than later.” He reached out and grasped your hand, bowing low and brushing his lips across it in a soft kiss. “Be safe.”  
  
You blushed, then acting on impulse, you jumped forward and hugged him tightly, “You too. Tell the others, they can start looking for that actual Hydra base.”  Pulling away, you checked your bag, there was more than enough equipment in your pack, prepared for any possible situation. “Take care.” Throwing caution to the wind, you pecked his cheek, before turning and running into the quinjet, not daring to look over your shoulder to see his reaction.  
Almost immediately, the rear door started to close behind you. When you finally did turn around, it was shut and Loki was lost from sight.  
  
Mariah stood a short distance away, arms crossed and scowling, looking at the direction of Loki. The quinjet banked to take off and you peered out the window, watching as Loki stared up at you. The setting sun hit Loki, giving him a gold shimmering appearance and then he was lost from sight and you were on your way to Siberia.


	35. Chapter 35

Mariah sat down opposite of you, studying you intensely.  
  
You smiled at her nervously and swallowed hard, “So…” You looked around the cabin trying to think of something to say.  
  
She raised an eyebrow, “So you and Loki?”  
  
You breathed out heavily, slumping over and resting your elbows on your knees. “I don’t know.” You mumbled.  
  
“Do you…” She hesitated, searching for words, “want to talk about it?”  
  
Slowly shaking your head, you sighed, “Not really, I just want to get this over with. I hate leaving him alone for too long, especially after everything that’s happened.”  
  
Mariah nodded, “Well, I’m sure he worries about you too.” She managed a thin smile before laying on her back and closing her eyes. “Wake me up when we get there.”  
  
You nodded absently before double checking to make sure your well-stocked bag was nearby. Then you too lay down and tried to sleep.  
  


* * *

  
Agents milled around Director Fury, occasionally stopping to talk to him. Some handed him pamphlets or bits of paper, sometimes pulling up files on the massive computer screen before him.  
  
“Director Fury?” A young agent who appeared to be in her early twenties stood behind Fury.  
  
He turned around and scowled at her, “What?”  
  
“I’ve been analyzing that mission you just authorized for Agent (L/n) in regards to that scientist.”  
  
“And?”  
  
She held up a folder, “I think we got some information wrong…”  
  
Fury took the folder from the woman, eyeing her briefly before quickly scanning its contents. “Motherfucker…” he muttered under his breath. “Just once, I would like for something to go right.” As he spoke, the glass doors leading into the office slid open. Fury groaned, “And what are you still doing here?”  
  


* * *

  
You jolted awake at the same time as Mariah.  
  
“What was that?” She mumbled.  
  
The partition separating you from the pilot opened up. He glanced over his shoulder and waved at the two of you. “Agents.”  
  
“Hey! I know you! You were the pilot for mine and Loki’s first mission.” You grinned.  
  
He nodded his head before looking back out the window. When he spoke, he kept his attention fixed on where the plane was traveling. “We’re nearing the drop zone.” It had been roughly fifteen hours since you left.  
  
Mariah nodded, “Excellent.”  
  
The pilot frowned, “Something is weird on the radar though.”  
  
You got up and walked over, looking over his shoulder at the map and then at your target destination. Mariah stood behind you, trying to see as well.  
“What is it?” She asked uncertainly.  
  
“It looks… err… bigger.” The pilot said slowly. He slowed the quinjet down, holding it in place as it flew high above the mountain.  
  
Mariah hummed thoughtfully then pointed, “You know, that looks kind of like a fortress of sorts. Right there. Do you see it?” She pointed at the massive peaks in the distance.  
  
They were massive towering formations, larger than the tallest skyscrapers in New York; covered in snow, and jagged, desperately reaching towards the sky. A few of the sheer tops made it all the way up to the cruising altitude of your plane. Infinitely massive, you realized that once you were on the ground, it would be as though you were engulfed in the maw of a great stony beast.  
  
For now, you could safely stay above them and look at the pinprick sized trees, desperately fighting for a place in the snowy wastes. Your memories returned to the plane crash at sea, you had thought the ocean waves arched up like mountains – Olympus – but looking at these behemoths, you realized those waves were miniscule.  
  
Then you returned your attention to the specific part of the mountain that Mariah had pointed at. You frowned realizing that she was correct. You nodded your agreement.  
  
A loud beeping started coming from the quinjet’s control panel. “Shit.” The pilot cursed loudly. Your head snapped over to look at the radar and saw two objects approaching fast. “Hold on!”  
  
You and Mariah jumped back, searching desperately for a safe hold as the pilot curved the nose of the plane then started a straight dive.  
  
“What’s going on?” Mariah yelled over the rush of the engines. “This was supposed to be a small hit and run style mission!” The plane banked sharply, forcing her to steady her grip and she fell silent.  
  
“Anti-aircraft fire!” The pilot yelled as the nose dive continued. You could barely make out the sound of the radar detecting more missiles. “Brace yourselves!” The plane shuddered as one of the missiles clipped the wing but the pilot managed to maintain control.  
  
Around 500 feet, the pilot finally pulled up and leveled out the plane, hovering it in position once more.  
  
“You mean to tell me there are anti-aircraft weapons there?!” Mariah yelled in anger. “This was supposed to be a simple mission!”  
  
“We got the information wrong!” The pilot shot back.  
  
“Wrong? How do you get information that wrong?” You felt your voice raise an octave in worry. “Oh Loki is going to kill me if he finds out.”  
  
“If these damned missiles don’t kill you first!” Mariah yelled.  
  
“Calm down! Please, just give me a minute.” The pilot started pressing buttons frantically.  
  
Mariah pushed you to the side and pointed out the front window, “What is that?”  
  
A large helicopter was approaching from the part of the mountain that looked like a fortress. Rather belatedly, you accepted it probably was part of a fortress.  
  
“Dive!” You yelled as the pilot frantically moved to follow your command. The opposing helicopter opened fire and you could hear the sound of explosions outside.   
  
“We’ve been hit!”  
  
The quinjet spiraled downward, colliding with trees, before slamming into the ground and coming to a painful halt. You blacked out as your head cracked against the wall.  
  


* * *

  
“Agent, (y/n), are you ok?” Mariah stood over you, shaking your shoulder.  
  
Slowly coming to, you groaned, gently touching your head. When you pulled your hand away, you saw blood on your fingers. “Yea, I’m fine.” You sat up and looked around.  
Beside you, the quinjet lay in smoldering wreckage, a small fire still burning weakly on it. A couple dozen meters away, also lying in wreckage, lay the helicopter that had shot you down. There were a few bodies strewn around it but otherwise all was quiet.  
“Where’s the pilot?” You mumbled, blinking hard as you tried to focus.  
  
“He didn’t make it. When the other helicopter came down, he got killed in the crossfire.” Mariah glanced over her shoulder, looking at the bodies lying haphazardly around the helicopter.  Then she looked back at you, pulling you to your feet and searching your face. “How are you?”  
  
“I’m fine.” Your eyes widened as you registered one of the people moving: raising their gun to shoot. “Mariah!” The bang of gunfire echoed through the trees and she stumbled forward. You quickly pulled out your pistol and returned fire, taking out the enemy agent and then shooting the others, wanting to be certain they wouldn’t come back to life either.  
  
You looked back and saw that Mariah was still standing, surprised and uncomfortable looking granted, but standing nonetheless. You furrowed your brow as she gingerly touched her back.  
  
“Err…?” You slowly peeked over her shoulder.  
  
“Sorry.” Mariah muttered sheepishly. Suddenly her voice sounded deeper, almost velvety.  
  
Your mouth dropped open, “No…” There was a shimmering of green that faded over Mariah and in her place, considerably taller now, stood your black haired partner and friend.  
  
Loki.  
  
He was looking over his shoulder, trying to see his back. “What. The.  _Hell? Loki?_ ” You growled angrily.  
  
Loki slid his fingers up and down his back, before moving his hand in front of himself. Satisfied that there was no blood or apparent injury, he returned his attention to you. “Did you really think I would let you go alone? Especially that easily?” He raised an eyebrow as he looked down at you.  
  
You opened and closed your mouth several times, completely at a loss for words. “But… but how?” You finally managed.  
  
Loki bent over, grabbing your hand in his and pressed his lips to it in a soft kiss, “Magic, my dear.” He kept hold of your hand, picking up both of your bags as he turned and started walking in the directions of the mountain. “I can duplicate myself.”  
  
You stumbled for a moment, too shocked to move. Finally you shook yourself from your confusion and managed to start walking after him. “But I hugged you, I thought your copies-“  
  
“Illusions, agent, illusions disappear on contact. Duplicates take far more energy to create, but they allow for physical connection.” You followed after him, still in stunned silence. “Now our pilot is dead and we have no means of communication.” Loki paused, “Well, the communication we  _did_  have doesn’t work. Stark’s  _stolen_  intel was recent enough that the communication in the quinjet was blocked. First I was thinking he was completely incompetent, but then I remembered that his technology would be perfect for blocking, well, his technology. And it appears that the nearest place for any sort of communication is up in that fortress, which is also, incidentally, where the doctor we’re looking for is supposed to be holed up.”  
  
“I can’t decide whether to hug you, kiss you, or slap you…” You muttered. Loki’s deep laughter came from ahead as he continued leading you through the snowy forest.  
  
“The sun is setting though, we’ll have to make camp. I think we can risk a fire, so at least you’ll be warm.” You glanced up at the sky and saw that Loki was right, the sun was indeed setting.  
  
“Right.” You said slowly, then hesitated, “And you don’t get cold because of that thing you told me about?” Loki nodded stiffly. “Sorry.”  
  
“It’s fine.” Loki muttered.  
  
Eventually you neared a snowy copse and Loki set the bags down. Your fingers and toes were numb, except for the hand that Loki had been holding. You appreciated whatever physical illusion he used to make himself feel warm.  
  
Loki murmured softly and a fire appeared in a patch clear of snow. You numbly sat down in front of it and Loki gently tossed his cloak over you before moving over to the other side and sitting down. You curled the cloak tightly around yourself and scooted closer to the fire, staring at the dancing flames.  
  
It struck you how familiar this was: wrapped up in the familiar warmth of Loki’s cloak, sitting beside a blazing fire. Even Loki was stoically ignoring you again.  
  
“Loki, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up the Jotun thing-“ Loki’s eyes flickered up as you spoke and they flashed in anger. You fell silent and looked back down at the fire.  
It was quiet for a time and you searched through your bag for some food. You tossed a bit to Loki. He mumbled his thanks and started eating.  
“Earlier, when I first got on the plane… Mariah, you, said that Loki, err, you worried about me. Is that true?”  
  
Loki nodded, “Of course it is.”  
  
“Can I sit by you then?”  
  
Confusion crossed his eyes and he frowned, “You want to?”  
  
“Well yea, it’s cold.”  
  
“Oh, right.”  
  
You stood up and hesitated for a moment. “I like being by you anyways, it’s just an added bonus that you’re warm.”  
  
Loki looked doubtful, “Really?”  
  
Walking over and sitting down beside him, you smiled and nodded, “Of course.” Then you added quietly, “dumbass.” You quickly glanced up to see his reaction. Loki remained quiet, staring at the fire. He simply nodded when you sat down. You frowned and unwrapped the cloak, carefully making sure he was as covered as you. Very gently, you lifted his arm over your shoulders and curled in against him.  
  
Loki looked down at you uncertainly as you snuggled in closer to him. “Agent… (Y/n), what are you doing?”  
  
You wrapped your arms around him, “Well, normally you answer with mortal, or remind me that you can snap my neck.” You could feel Loki nodding slowly, though he tensed. “And since you didn’t, I figured you’re upset.”  
  
“I’m not upset.” Loki mumbled quietly.  
  
“Well, you’re probably under some delusion that I could possibly think you’re a monster, and then for some reason don't like you. Which is ridiculous.” As you spoke, you pushed against his legs, forcing him to stretch out. Then you lay your head on his lap, wrapping your arm around his thighs and using him as a pillow. You closed your eyes and yawned, before speaking, “No matter what happens, I don’t want you to think anything has changed. You’re still a grumpy old god.”  
  
A small smile played at the corner of Loki’s mouth as he started to stroke your hair. “Yes, and I suppose I can still snap your neck.”  
  
“But you won’t.”  
  
“No, of course I won’t.” Loki's voice was soft and gentle.  
  
“Because you’re not a monster.” You smiled, still not opening your eyes, squirming a little as you tried to get more comfortable.  
  
“You’re a foolish little mortal, you know that?” Loki murmured fondly.  
  
You nodded, yawning, “Yes, but I’m your little mortal.” You lowered your voice even more, “And I kind of really like you…” Your voice trailed off to a whisper as you feigned sleep, fearful of his response.  
  
Loki heard you and his eyes widened in surprise.   
A few minutes passed in silence and you found yourself glad that you had pretended to sleep. Just as sleep actually started to grip you, you felt Loki’s lips pressed against yours in a soft kiss, his long hair brushing against your face. “Sleep well, little one.” He murmured as he pulled away, “I’ll watch over you.” Loki continued to absently stroke your hair as he scanned the surrounding forest.  
  
Your pulse raced as you tried to think of something to say but ultimately sleep took you before you could, though you were warm and happy in Loki’s arms.  
  


* * *

  
Loki’s quiet laughter woke you. “You say the most delightful things when you sleep, agent.” You weren’t sure if he was mocking you, but his smile and tone of voice was warm so you opted to just roll your eyes before allowing him to help you sit up and switch places. He wrapped the cloak back around you before stretching out in the snow on his back and instantly falling asleep.  
  
Lacing your fingers behind your head, you lay down on Loki’s chest and admired the stars through the trees. For the time being, you could almost forget that you were on the way to an incredibly dangerous mission, with a fortress full of people who wanted you dead. You held your gun in your lap, carefully scanning around and listening intently for any signs of movement or activity, but all was silent.  
  


* * *

  
Loki groaned as you shook him awake.  
  
“C’mon sleepy head.” You whispered. You gently smacked the side of his face, “C’mon Loki. It’s morning we have to go.”  
  
Loki opened his eyes and sighed, “I definitely did not miss sleeping on forest floors.” He muttered as he carefully sat up, brushing snow off himself.  
  
“Do you remember where the location we’re aiming for is?” You asked and Loki nodded.  
  


* * *

  
  
The two of you took off at a steady pace, though the snow slowed you down. Eventually you could detect a barely visible bunker door in the distance.  
  


* * *

  
  
As the two of you surveyed the entrance, Loki sighed, “We’re going to want to be as close as possible before we give away our position. It’ll be easier to keep you invisible if you’re not far away from me.”  
  
You raised an eyebrow. “Which means?”  
  
He sighed again, “Which means it’d probably be best if I carried you.”  
  
Giggling and trying to hide a shy blush, you motioned for Loki to turn around. He rolled his eyes and complied, allowing you to clamber onto his back. “Shall we leave the supplies here?”  
  
“Yes.” Loki grunted.   
  


* * *

  
  
  
Loki seemed to ghost over the snow as he walked, even carrying you, he moved more gracefully than a hunting cat. Loki reminded you of a lion, the feral grace, the prowl as he approached his prey, and the aura of confidence and control that he exuded-  
  
“Agent?” Loki’s voice startled you from your thoughts.  
  
You had barely noticed him sneaking by the sentries posted near the door. “Sorry.” You muttered.  
  
You and Loki were standing inside what appeared to be a small storage closet off one of the main hallways. “Do you remember those schematics we looked at?” Loki asked you quietly as he set you down.  
  
The storage space was very small and he was pressed up against you, it took a great force of will to drag your attention back to where it should be. You were starting to wonder if you had dreamt that kiss as you were falling asleep.  
  
“Err…” You pinched the bridge of your nose as you struggled to remember. “Only vaguely. I think I can remember the route to the control room.”  
  
Loki inclined his head in agreement, “I’m sure there will be some sort of map that we can use once there. With any luck we’ll wander into the good doctor on accident.”  
  
You nodded, you weren’t one to step on another person’s revenge but after you had seen some of the damage Loki was capable of inflicting, you didn’t envy Braxton. Then again, considering the damage that he had done to Loki, Braxton really had it coming.  
  
The two of you ran along, planting explosives as you moved, before making it to a control room. You convinced Loki to have you sneak past any guards so there would be less suspicion aroused.  
  


* * *

  
“It’s the control room.” You breathed.  
  
Loki peered over your shoulder. Glancing at you for confirmation first, Loki stepped into the room. He was a blur of knives and magical energy and then the room lay empty, dead bodies scattered about.  
  
You ran over to the computer and started checking files, searching for anything you could salvage, any records for Braxton’s location, or anything else that could be of use.  
  
“There!” You and Loki said simultaneously, pointing in separate spots. “You first.”  
  
You grinned. “Alright, I’ll go.” Then your expression sobered as you read off, “You remember that info we went after in Canada? The one with Justin Hammer?” Loki stared at you blankly. “Well, it turns out S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t catch it in time. That group in Canada must have had ties to this place, ultimately Hydra.” You continued scrolling through the files. “It looks like they’re a decent ways into building an army of robots based on Stark tech, and next they’re going to place them in vital positions so they can assassinate world leaders. They’ll be able to hold the entire world’s nations hostage simultaneously.”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly, “Impressive. Effective rather, though lacking any real creativity.” You glared at him. “Well, I found the location of Braxton in here. Is there anything you can do to disrupt their software?”  
  
“I think so. I can use it to prevent any information from leaving,” you sighed heavily, “we’re going to have to level this building. It’s a matter of earth’s safety… This might even be suicide. I can’t ask you to do that.”  
  
Loki shook his head, “We’re partners, if you’re staying, I’m not leaving you. And I know you well enough that it will take more than me to change your mind.”  
  
“Thanks Loki.” You said with a small smile.  
  
“Although, see if you can use this to contact the rest of the Avengers. I’d at least like them to know where we’re at.”  
  
You started uploading Stark’s virus onto the computer, searching through documents and files, seeing if there was anything to download. You glanced over your shoulder occasionally to see that Loki was still watching you. However, his attention remained fixed on the map depicting where Braxton was.  
  
Loki cast a look at the door, then back at you; it would take only a few minutes to kill the doctor. Loki could be back for you almost immediately, and he was strong enough to teleport the short distance it would take. Steeling his resolve and muttering a concealment charm on you, Loki vanished to the good doctor’s office. 


	36. Chapter 36

A man with short cropped grey hair, turning white in some places, carefully paced around his room: Dr Braxton. Ever since those two subjects had escaped Hydra custody, he had been on edge. Dr. Braxton pushed his black glasses up before moving over to his desk.  
  
There was an extensive chart depicting his findings on his most recent patient: the tall man with piercing green eyes, wicked sharp cheekbones, and pale skin. This man had suffered extensive injuries, yet Braxton had reason to believe he lived. Braxton flipped through the charts, as he continued his fruitless efforts to figure out who this green eyed man was. All of the points on the human body that should have broken him came up blank. This man had clearly suffered extreme injuries in the past but the scale must have been unimaginable.  
  
Braxton flipped through other diagrams. The deep blue scars were also strange. It seemed that with the deepest injuries, there was a flicker on the man’s body. Like a mirage, as if this person was somehow able to conceal his natural appearance. The doctor frowned, trying to think of the most advanced stealth technologies that existed. Whatever was on this man was at least ten times as complex, and it seemed to only be used to… what?  
  
Braxton sighed, unsure of anything about this man really. As a scientist, he badly wished he could run into this green eyed man again, if only to understand what he was. But as a person who was very aware of his what his work did to people, Braxton hoped this man was long dead.  
  
There was a clicking noise and Braxton looked up from his notes, he called to his assistant but there was no response.  
  
“So you’re the one I have to thank for my tortures.” A cold voice filled the room.  
  
The doctor spun around as chills crawled down his spine. “Who’s there?” He called warily.  
  
A dark ripple of laughter filled the room. “Who indeed…” the voice replied, its tone mocking.  
  
A tall, dark haired man suddenly appeared behind Braxton. “Hello doctor.” Loki whispered.  
Braxton sharply turned back and now faced Loki. The man gulped as he stepped back. Loki followed him, step for step.  
“It’s interesting.” Loki started, then paused and grinned, relishing the fear in the doctor’s eyes. “My brother’s mindset has started to affect me some. I could almost be willing to kill you, just a quick slice of your jugular and be gone.” The man’s back hit the wall and he glanced down in horror.  
Loki was barely a foot away. He followed the doctor’s eyes and when his gaze returned to Loki’s face, Loki grinned maliciously.  
  
Braxton closed his eyes and braced himself. “Fine. Do it.”  
  
Loki’s mirthless laugh filled the room again. “I said almost.” The doctor’s eyes shot open. “No, it was bad enough that you tortured me, but then you laid a hand upon (y/n).”  
  
“Who?” The man stammered.  
  
Loki’s hand shot forward and grasped Braxton’s throat. “It would do you well to remember. Quickly.” He hissed through gritted teeth.  
  
The doctor backtracked to that day, trying to think of what happened after his work with Loki. “A woman…” he choked out.  
  
Loki’s cold grin returned. “A woman.” He repeated. “Good yes, you remember her.” The man tried to nod but Loki’s grip held fast.  
  
Braxton looked hopeful, “Yes, she was with you in the cell.”  
Loki nodded again, then raised his eyebrow curiously. He was like a cat playing with his food, and this was quite the savory treat.  
Braxton realized Loki wanted him to continue. He licked his lips nervously as he thought. “She must have gotten you out of there.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly. “She did indeed, but you skipped something very important.”  
  
“Skipped?” Braxton stammered hesitantly.  
Loki rolled his eyes. “I’m willing to come back to that. But first, that woman, (Y/n), is my partner. She is my friend. I’m sure you can imagine I don’t have many of those. But you did something unforgiveable.” Loki flexed his fingers on Braxton’s neck. “Tell me, before we left, what did you do to her?”  
  
The doctor’s heart sank as he remembered.  
  
Loki’s smile turned triumphant but his eyes were still cold. “Oh, so you do remember.” He stated calmly. The doctor inclined his head as much as he could. “Yes.” Loki repeated thoughtfully. “You do remember.” Then his gaze returned to the quivering man. “But I want to hear you say it.”  
  
“I hit her.” Braxton’s voice was barely audible.  
  
“Yes, yes you did.” Loki’s voice was emotionless. “Is that it?”  
Braxton nodded fearfully.  
Loki wrenched the man towards him. “Don’t lie to me.” He snarled. Their faces were centimeters away, Braxton could feel the cold emanating from Loki.  
  
“I’m-“ Loki’s eyes flashed dangerously. Then Braxton remembered. “I hit her again.”  
  
Loki smiled and let the man fall to the floor in a heap. “I’m not human.” Loki looked down at the quiet man. “My kind are monsters that parents tell their children about at night.” Braxton slowly looked up at Loki, even more terrified than before. If that was possible. “And I’m going to show you what a real monster is capable of.”  
  


* * *

  
You heard screams and looked around warily. Then you realized Loki wasn’t with you. Turning, you started running in the direction of the screams; but then they were silent. You arrived at the door the sounds came from just as quiet fell.  
It opened and Loki stepped out. You caught a glimpse of the room behind him.  
  
“Oh Loki… what did you do?” You looked over at Loki sadly, then gasped as his strong arms pulled you into a tight embrace.  
  
“He hurt you (Y/n).” Loki whispered softly.  
  
You struggled to look up at him, but he held you tight against his chest. “He’s the guy who tortured you?”  
  
Loki nodded silently as he stared ahead. You could see something in his face but you couldn’t get a read on his expression.  
  
You bit your lower lip then sighed as you pulled away. This time he didn’t stop you. He finally looked down at you, studying your expression. You placed your hand on his shoulders as you closed your eyes. “I did threaten him the same.” You opened them and sighed. You couldn’t hide a tired smile.  
  
“You were the first to show me kindness, since Thor, but I often wonder if he did that out of obligation to Frigga.”  
  
This time you hugged Loki and he stiffened, clearly taken aback. You rubbed his back. “Of course I did.”  
  
“Right, that's your job, you’re my partner.”  
  
“No, you’re my friend.” You stepped away and smiled at him.  
  
Loki chuckled sheepishly. “Right.” He grabbed your arm, not hard, and started pulling you in the direction that you knew to be an exit. “Come on.” You followed after, still shaking your head.  
  
Suddenly, sirens filled the air. You looked around. “Dammit!” You cursed angrily.  
Loki’s eyes widened. There were the sounds of heavy bootsteps coming from both directions.  
“Run!”  
  
You and Loki ran down the hall and made a sharp turn. You drew your daggers as Loki’s staff materialized. Hydra agents charged down the hallway, weapons drawn.  
  
Loki fired a blast of energy from the scepter then summoned a shield as a wave of bullets pelted at you. You sheathed one of your daggers and pulled out a gun, firing with deadly precision.  
Then the two of you took off running again. Twisting and turning down countless hallways, constantly running into opposition.  
  
Your breathing became labored as even more Hydra agents attacked. Finally you were forced back by sheer numbers. You and Loki ducked behind support beams in the walls. You moved out of cover long enough to shoot a few people before pulling back as a wave of bullets flew past.  
  
“Loki!” You yelled. He glanced at you before firing more blasts from his scepter. “We can’t go this way!”  
Loki nodded and cast another shield, you took off running and he followed close behind you.  
  
Countless skirmishes had you in a pattern of fighting and retreating, getting further and further away from your original destination. Hours passed like this and finally you found yourselves at a dead end.  
  
“There’s a room here!”  
  
You and Loki ran inside, bolting the door behind you. It was a small office like room, no one was inside. Loki shoved a set of shelves in front of the door creating a makeshift barricade. As you studied the room, you realized there was nowhere else to go, no connections to any other rooms. There were no windows; you could only guess how deep underground you were. You were completely trapped.   
  
“So I guess we’re about to die then.” It wasn’t a question. You leaned against the wall, sliding down to the floor and closing your eyes. You tried to slow your breathing, anything to ease the aching in your body.  
  
You felt Loki’s shoulder brush against your as he sat down next to you. You could feel him nod. “Probably. We can only hope that the other Avengers realized our mistake, or at least that the message made it through. But it’s even less likely that the others will be able to make it here in any reasonable amount of time.” His voice trailed off bitterly.  
  
After a moment you sighed. “Y’know Loki, you are the most arrogant, rude, cruelest asshole I’ve had the pleasure to meet.” You felt him tense up. You opened an eye and looked over at him. He was looking down at you, glaring but also curious. “Yet I’ve had the misfortune to love you since the moment I laid eyes on you.” You smiled and closed your eyes again, head leaning against the wall.  
  
“Well you are the most infuriating, insufferable mortal,” you chuckled softly without opening your eyes. Loki continued, “Your race is pathetic and weak and deserves to be ruled.” You sighed and laughed softly again. “And yet,” Loki paused and you felt his long fingers brush against your cheek, moving a strand of hair behind your ear. “I can’t help but love you also.”  
  
You opened your eyes and looked up at him. He was smiling softly, looking down at you.  
You nodded contentedly, “Good.” Placing a chaste kiss on his lips, you leaned back against his shoulder.  
  
You could feel Loki shaking his head and knew he was smirking down at you. He placed his arm around your shoulder and held you close, kissing the top of your head. “So now what?” He asked softly.  
  
“We’ll do what we always do.”  
  
You moved to stand but Loki was already on his feet. He pulled you up and summoned his scepter. There was a banging on the door to the room as Loki moved. “When Thanos was torturing me, I thought I was going to die.” Loki said softly as the noises grew louder. “I thought I would die alone in that cold barren wasteland.” He looked at you once more. “Thor had betrayed me and I meant nothing to Odin, I was truly lost and forgotten.” You could barely hear his voice.  
  
“But now you can die beside someone who loves you.” You finished for him.  
  
“And someone I love back.” Loki smiled at you warmly. “And I can’t think of a better way to go.”  
  
You squeezed his hand and grinned. Then you drew your daggers. “But first, oh god of mischief and chaos, we’re going to raise hell.”  
  
“Good, I’d expect nothing less.”  
  
The barricade holding the door back finally crumbled. As the door flung open, you moved to the side so Loki could release a blast of power from his scepter. Everything in the hallway was silent and only the smoldering remains of your enemies could be seen on the ground.  
  
“Now our original entrance is blocked, so I can only assume that the best way out is up.” You said and Loki nodded. “Worst that happens is we find ourselves at the top of this damned building. Fury better be fucking grateful for this sacrifice.”  
  
“Please,” Loki rolled his eyes. “You know full well that you’ll enjoy every second of this.” You grinned at him. “But first.” He growled, then with his free hand, he grabbed you by your lower back and held you close.  
  
His lips crashed against yours and you found yourself passionately kissing him back. Just as quick he pulled away, breathing fast and hard. You tried to catch your breath as you tightened your grip on your swords. Both yours and Loki’s cheeks were red as you smiled at each other.  
  
“Dammit, damn you.” You groaned as you started walking down the hall, stepping over the bodies.  
  
“What?” Loki called, confused, as he slowly followed after you.  
  
You didn’t stop walking but muttered loud enough for him to hear. “You better not fucking die on me now.”  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows in silent confusion. Then he laughed as he understood, “Don’t worry, love, I’ll be happy to do that and more.”  
Your blush deepened and you muttered something about professionalism under your breath.  
  


* * *

  
Steve, Natasha, Bucky, Thor, and Clint gathered in the lounge, ready to watch a movie.  
“I’ve been to war guys, I really don’t want to watch a war movie.” Steve muttered.  
  
“Well I don’t want to watch some stupid spy movie.” Clint shot back. “Movies aren’t supposed to be accurate, they’re just for-“  
  
The elevator doors opened followed by Tony and Bruce bursting into the room, “Where’s (Y/n) and Loki?” Bruce yelled, looking around wildly.  
  
“Woah, Bruce, calm down.” Steve said, standing up slowly and holding his hands up.  
  
“There’s no time for that! We were just looking at the last of their files before closing out of them so we could continue with our current experiments. That doctor they’re looking for? He’s not hiding out in some backwoods cabin, those schematics show that he’s in the middle of an entire Hydra operation's base.” Tony yelled frantically, pulling out his phone. “Jarvis, fire up the suit. We have to go now.”  
  
“How the hell do you mess up that badly?” Clint groaned, jumping to his feet.  
  
“The suit? What do you mean?” Thor stood up, summoning Mjolnir as he spoke.  
  
It was Bruce who answered, “We just got off the phone with Mariah Hill, luckily Loki went with (Y/n), instead of (Y/n)’s original plan to go with Mariah, or worse, by herself.”  
  
“I’m making sure we get a quinjet here.” Tony muttered, then he looked up from his phone, “Although, Mariah’s still pretty pissed that apparently Loki locked her in some closet before leaving, instead of just asking her to sit out.” Tony giggled, then became serious as he continued sending messages to S.H.I.E.L.D. demanding a quinjet.  
  
Thor grimaced, “My brother locked an agent up? Is he in trouble for it?”  
  
Tony shook his head, “Nah, he was just doing it to prevent Mariah from getting on the plane with (Y/n).”  
  
“If it was to keep (Y/n) safe, Loki will do anything.” Bucky said quietly. Then he added, “He’s really taken that whole ‘partners’ thing to heart. You know, it’s kind of funny, here on Earth, when two people really like each other, they’re sometimes called partners too.”  
  
“Wait, Stark, are you sure you’re not overreacting in getting the suit ready?”  
  
“If you saw the size of the fortress they’re going up against, you’d understand. That thing is huge.”  
  
Clint rolled his eyes, “Seriously, how do you mess up  _that_  badly?”  
  


* * *

  
The Avengers were halfway to the fortress when Mariah Hill’s call came through on the quinjet computer.  
“Talk to us.” Natasha said, looking away from the window. Clint maintained focus on flying but he was still listening.  
  
“We just got a message from (Y/n).” Mariah’s image flickered as she spoke. “That base they’re going after has a factory. It’s manufacturing robots to be planted strategically around the world to be able to take out any world leader at will.” She paused, allowing the information to sink in. “(Y/n) says she and Loki are going to stay and level the place, make sure none of the information survives.”  
  
“If they stay inside a building of that size when it’s destroyed…” Thor trailed off. Before they had left, Bruce had shown them the layout of the fortress. It had been unanimously agreed, much to Bruce’s chagrin, that he stay behind. No one wanted to risk the other guy accidentally unleashing an avalanche.  
  
Mariah was quiet for a moment before adding, “(Y/n) asked that if she fails, no matter what happens to her, we make sure she finished the job properly.” Mariah didn’t have the heart to convey your request that they look for your body, it was too much to say out loud.  
  
Thor’s mouth fell open as his heart skipped a beat and he seemed to sense the unspoken statement, “And what of Loki?”  
  
“Loki? There’s no way he’d leave without her.” Natasha replied quietly.  
  
“How does Fury play in to all of this?” Bucky asked from the rear of the jet.  
  
Mariah’s image flickered as the screen cut in half, Fury appeared on the other side. “Hydra tarnished my good name with that damned sedative. But I was really hoping you had seen that by now.”  
  
“Yea, we saw. I figure Loki and (Y/n) saw too, right?” Steve asked, glaring at Fury.  
  
“Do you really think either of them would have gone on this mission, given to them personally by me, if they hadn’t?” Fury growled.  
  
“(Y/n) said the plane was shot down.” Clint muttered under his breath, adding, “It’s a real wonder she gets on these things anymore.” Natasha couldn’t help cracking a smile.  
  
“You’re nearing their airspace.” Agent Hill interrupted everyone. “They have Stark tech, (Y/n) gave us reason to believe that they eavesdrop on any incoming transmissions. In case she hasn’t taken out their computer system yet… good luck.”  
  
“Bring them back in one piece.” Fury muttered before both screens cut out.  
  
“You heard the man.” Tony closed his helmet and opened the rear of the quinjet. “Thor? You and me in the air, let’s see what we can do. Cap?”  
  
“Nat, Hawkeye, you keep the plane in the air. Bucky and I will be ready to go wherever we’re needed. Stark, call what you see, we’ll be on the ready.”  
  


* * *

  
You groaned as you approached another door. “Seriously? Another?” Loki laughed, out of breath from running. “What?” You said trying to catch your own breath. Glaring at him, you leaned your arm against the wall and slid down. You hadn’t noticed how badly your legs were shaking. Suddenly the fire died from your eyes and you leaned your head back against the wall.  
  
“I can’t.” You shook your head, your body leaden with fatigue. A small tear cracked down the corner of your eye. You tried to slow your breathing but all the adrenaline had left you and you never noticed just how small you felt.  
  
You felt Loki’s slender finger wipe the tear away. “You can and you will.”  
  
You managed to open your eyes, and looked at him doubtfully. “What happened to facing death?” It suddenly felt so real to you. You felt small and scared.  
  
“That day will come,” Loki was on one knee, propped up by his scepter. “Not today.” His breath was chilly against your skin and his scent was strong. Any other situation and it’d be intoxicating but right now, your limbs were like liquid.  
  
“Why not? Earlier…” You trailed off.  
  
Loki’s intense stare made you look away, he gently turned your head back towards him but you couldn’t bear to meet his gaze. “Look at me.” He said softly. You raised your eyes. “There have been times before where I’m not sure I had something…” He paused and tilted his head to the side, almost ruefully, “some _one_  to live for. I could die by Thor’s side, I could even die by your side, but that, I’m going to live by your side. And I’ll be damned back to all the cells I’ve escaped and all the tortures I’ve endured if it means giving up on you right now.”  
  
A soft smile crossed your lips, but then you looked down at your bloodied body, and felt your burning limbs. Loki lifted you up onto his back, gritting his teeth, thankful for his inhuman strength. You sheathed your swords and managed one arm in a vicelike grip over his shoulders. Loki looked up at the stairs above you and started walking.  
  
“You can’t go to sleep on me though.” You nodded your head but your eyes stayed closed. He shook you and your eyes shot open. “(Y/n)?”  
  
“Awake, right.” You gritted your teeth, trying to stay focused.  
  
“I’ll have you awake and back on your feet in no time.”  
  
Nodding quietly, you sighed, “Yea, sure.”  
  
“We’ll just keep talking.” You could hear a grin in his voice.  
  
“Yea, talking, talking’s good… What about?” Your words came out slurred, all you wanted was to sleep. This exhaustion was too much-  
  
“Children’s names?”  
  
Your eyes shot open and your cheeks burned bright red. “Children? Children, what?” You sputtered. “We- you- me- I-“ You could feel the deep rumble of his laughter throughout him. “What are you-? Now is  _NOT_  the time for-“ you slid off his back and he grabbed you by the arm, dragging you up the stairs. You followed after, trying to think of an appropriate response. “You can’t possibly be thinking about anything like that!” You couldn’t see the grin on his face as he continued leading the way. “What even makes you think-?”  
  
“I’m offended.” You could hear the humor in his tone. “I think we have some serious getting to know each other later.”  
  
“You’re thinking about that  _NOW?!_ ” Your voice was shrill as you stopped. Loki continued walking and you found yourself fight to keep pace. You were glad he wasn’t looking at you. “I can’t believe it…”  
  
Loki gauged another five flights or so before you’d need to find a new set of staircases. His breathing was growing more ragged but bothering you was bringing new life to him; mischief was rejuvenating.  
  
“Personally, I’ve always liked the name Kailar.” You were silent as you continued trying to process what he was saying. “I suppose there are some Midgardian customs, Frigga would’ve approved.”  
  
“I don’t even know…” You mumbled and walked into him.  
  
Loki had finally stopped to catch his breath, looking down at you from a few stairs above you. “Would I be your first?” He asked. He seemed almost hopeful, yet pleasantly surprised.  
  
“No!” You blurted out, far too quickly, then you realized too late, just how quickly. You muttered about not having time.  
  
He smiled at you softly. “Don’t worry, my heart, I would never ask anything of you that you were uncomfortable with.” Loki laced his fingers between yours and you couldn’t help but smile at how perfectly they fit between. He kissed your knuckles and continued moving.  
  
“Is this some sort of marriage proposal?” You asked, a small laugh passing through your lips.  
  
“Maybe, we’ll work out the details, but like I said, I’m not letting you give up this easily.” You had reached another door.  
  
“This has been, what, forty floors? Do you think anyone is coming as backup?”  
  
With one deft movement, Loki broke the lock on the door and started to open it.  You unsheathed your swords and looked around at the open sky. Gentle snow was falling and you could see the colossal mountains all around you. It seems you had traveled to the very heart of the mountain.  
  
“The bombs are set?” Loki looked at you and you nodded. “Good. And now we wait.” He walked over to the edge of the building top and looked down at the sheer fall. “I doubt I could survive that fall.” You gulped nervously and sat back down on your knees.  
  
“The explosives will topple this fortress, if all goes according to plan. It looks like one of the last safe havens of Hydra.”  
  
Loki crouched down beside you and you noticed the dark bags under his eyes. Setting one of your blades down, you reached your hand out, sliding your fingers into Loki’s long hair and pulled him close to you, planting a soft kiss on his lips. His chilly tongue darted out, sliding along your lips, and you opened your mouth, granting him entrance. Your tongues curled together as you enjoyed the taste and feel of each other.  
  
All too soon, noises from the stairwell forced you to pull apart. The sound of many footsteps echoed through the space you had just barely escaped out of. Then from behind you could hear the whirring of helicopter blades.  
  
You sighed, “Here’s to our last stand.”  
  
Loki nodded, “Don’t worry, I’ll follow you to the gates of Hel.” You picked up your blades and Loki readied his staff.  
There was a brief moment of silence where the soldiers seemed to stare in surprise, registering that only two people had caused so much damage. Then all chaos broke loose.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff! and angst!

Bullets hailed down on you from the helicopter, Loki summoned a shield in both directions before using the scepter to destroy the helicopter. You ducked behind Loki, having no way of avoiding the gunfire from the Hydra agents.  
  
Loki spun around and dropped to his knees, he made a chunk of roof slant up at an angle and you crouched behind it, able to shoot from cover. It also gave Loki reprieve from maintaining a shield for you. Plus, even if his armor protected him from the brunt of the bullets, it was still uncomfortable being struck by them.  
  
“So you’ve really never been with someone else before?” Loki asked you skeptically.  
  
Your mouth dropped open as you crouched down again. “ _Is now really the time?!_ ” You nearly shrieked at him. Loki stood up and dispatched a few agents with well-placed daggers before ducking back down and eyeing you seriously. You groaned, “I don’t know! Probably not. I mean, I’ve dated a few guys…” Loki continued to stare at you. “Back in school maybe. I don’t remember. I’ve been set up to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. for so long I didn’t even think about it.” You were having difficulties believing this conversation was happening with Loki, especially in the given circumstances.  
  
“But then, not even at S.H.I.E.L.D.?” Loki asked. You leaned out of cover to shoot a few more, grateful that it gave you the opportunity to hide your embarrassed blush.  
  
“I never really had time,” you muttered, “I was too busy, I kept putting off trying to find a date. I kept thinking maybe later, or eventually, soon enough.” Loki stood up and released several rapid-fire blasts of energy. The enemy agents scrambled to regroup, looking for a way to take out your cover.  
Finally you asked, “Does it even matter? I could ask you the same.”  
  
“I just wanted to make sure I didn’t have to get rid of anyone.” Your mouth dropped open again. “I can’t stand the thought of possibly sharing you.”  
  
The mountain fortress’ rooftop was not a very defensible position, for you or for the enemy agents. You risked a glance around your stony cover, trying to gauge the reasoning behind the sudden lull in gunfire.   
  
“Get rid of?” You asked over your shoulder, his words finally registering with you. A few stray bullets whizzed past your head and you pulled back to glower at Loki. “There’s no way I’d let you kill any of my exes!”  
  
Loki chuckled. “Of course not,  _I_  would never kill them, I wouldn’t want to upset you.”  
  
You nodded slowly, breathing heavily. “Good.”  
  
“Accidents do happen though, darling. And besides, it’s not like there aren’t other people who can kill someone who would touch what is rightfully mine.” Loki grinned deviously.  
  
“You’re being awfully over possessive, that really can’t be healthy.” You scowled, still breathing heavily. You turned around and leaned your back against the small barricade. “I’m out of bullets.” You dropped your guns to the ground and looked up at Loki, sighing heavily.  
  
Loki crouched back down beside you, gently kissing you. “I’m only possessive of things I love.”  
  
You laughed softly, slowly shaking your head. “We’re about to die on a rooftop in some giant mountains in the middle of fucking nowhere and we’re having this conversation.” Loki smiled and laughed quietly. Then he leaned back around the barrier and cursed quietly. You raised an eyebrow, “What?”  
  
“Those are rocket launchers. That still might not be enough to kill me, but it’ll probably be enough to knock me off this building.” Loki sighed and sat beside you, laying the scepter at his feet. He waved his hand and it vanished.  
  
You reached into your pocket and pulled out the detonator, “Here goes, I guess.” You wanted to cry, truly, but you couldn’t find the tears; maybe you were dehydrated from all the running.  Or maybe you couldn’t because you were beside Loki, and you couldn’t think of a happier place to be. Especially now that you knew he felt the same way about you.  
  
With your free hand, you laced your fingers in Loki’s, and then breathing deeply, you hit the detonator.  
  
Shouts of surprise came from the other side of the roof as the whole building started shaking. You could feel the ripple of energy as the explosives activated on each floor, starting from the bottom.   
  
Suddenly, you felt a metallic taste in your mouth, the type of feeling you get before a thunderstorm.  
  
Looking up, you breathed out softly, “No way…”  
  
Loki followed your gaze and grinned. Lightning crashed down into the roof followed by a streak of scarlet. You looked over as repulsor beams shot past you and saw Tony Stark, aka Ironman, flying in the sky above you.  
  
“Rock of ages! Double-oh-seven!” His helmet opened up as he called at you. “Good to see you two!”  
  
“You’re late, metal man.” Loki growled as he stood up, helping you to your feet as he spoke.  
  
“What can I say, I like to make an entrance.” His helmet clamped shut as a rocket launched at him, forcing him to move out of the way. Apparently some of the lower floors were still defensible.  
Thor and Tony moved to the other side of the roof, giving you cover and preventing any last minute attacks.  
  
Then from above, you heard the roar of a plane engine as Clint and Natasha moved to land. The rear of the quinjet opened up. Bucky and Steve stood in the rear, waiting to jump down.  
  
“It’s not stable!” You yelled to the front.  
  
Clint banked the plane, keeping it further away from the edge of the roof. “I can’t hold it any closer…” He muttered to Natasha.  
  
“Go! Loki, get in! You can help me up.” Loki hesitated briefly so you added, “I can’t get up there by myself.”  
  
Then doing as you said, he leaped in, turning around and reaching his hand out for yours. “(Y/n).” As you extended your arm all the way, fingers brushing at the tips of his, the rooftop started to crumble. You glanced down in shock. “Take my hand!” Loki yelled over the roar of the engines and the rapidly disintegrating building.  
  
You looked back at him, and coiled your muscles to jump, when a strangled gasp escaped your lips. Looking down, you saw a dagger buried to the hilt in your calf.  
Instinctively, you reached down to clutch the wound in pain. Too late, you realized your fatal mistake.  
  
You looked up at Loki’s horrified expression as the ground around you completely gave way. Loki thrashed desperately against Steve and Bucky, trying to jump after you. As the distance between you and Loki grew, you yelled, “I’m sorry!” Then you were falling. Everything seemed to slow down and you could take in all of your surroundings at once, even down to Loki’s horrified scream. It was a sound of absolute anguish, you knew, even if the noise didn’t actually reach you. You could see the pain etched into his features.  
  
He finally screamed.  
  
He said that no matter what tortures were inflicted, no matter what pain he endured at the hands of his enemies, he never screamed. But this time he finally did. You couldn’t help but smile sadly. As you started to fall, you managed to mouth, “I love you.”  
  


* * *

 

 

  
  
  


* * *

  
Contrary to popular belief, falling from a great height into the snow is not a cushioned landing. It is certainly not like landing on pillows.  
  
You knew this, but nothing could prepare you for the excruciating pain you felt throughout your broken body.  
  
Miraculously, you’d survived.  
  
Suddenly, there was the telltale crunching of boots walking through the snow. “So you’re the bitch who destroyed the base.” You scrunched your eyes and moaned in pain before managing to look up. Then you let out a broken scream as his boot smashed down onto your face. Blinking hard, you coughed, trying to think, or focus, or anything really.  
  
When he pulled away, you saw an insignia on his chest but your heart sank, he definitely wasn’t S.H.I.E.L.D., you didn’t recognize it at all. He smirked when he saw where your attention was focused. You could do nothing but moan at him, your broken body too weak or too damaged to respond. You weren’t sure which.  
  
“Luckily for us, and unfortunately for you, this operation goes deep underground. Your work was a mere scratch on the surface. You have no idea what you’re dealing with. But you won’t be alive long enough for this to matter to you.” He pulled a pistol out and aimed at your face. “I’m going to enjoy-“  
  
His sentence cut off with a gurgled screech. Something large and grey cracked into him and you could hear bones shattering before the man crumpled to the ground. Grey object…   
  
Mjolnir.  
  
The hammer flew back from the direction it had appeared. You followed it with your eyes as you registered someone standing steps away from your feet.  
  
Loki.  
  
There was a heavy thump as the hammer fell to the ground and Loki ran to you, dropping to his knees and sliding at your side.  
“(Y/n), (Y/n), talk to me love, please, (Y/n), agent, anything!” His green eyes were wild with fear as he searched your face.  
  
You smiled at him and tried to laugh but it sounded strange. “’s Thor?”  
  
Loki frowned, “Thor?”  
  
“Hammer.” You managed. You could feel something sticky running down your face.  
  
“Oh, right.” Loki laughed sheepishly. “Thor! She’s over here!” He turned back to you and his hands glowed as he searched where best to start. Finally he shifted your arm enough that he could touch your ribs over your clothing. “It’s really not as effective this way.” He muttered, still concentrating on his work.  
  
“'Kay.” You smiled thickly, “m’nose.” Loki looked back up at your face before gently laying his slender fingers on it. You hissed at the contact but after a second, the pain was gone and you could smile. “Thanks Loki.” You whispered, it hurt to talk.  
  
Loki kept one hand by your ribs, constantly stroking the area; with his free hand he brushed your hair from your face and pressed his lips to your forehead. “Norns…” He muttered under his breath as he slowly shook his head.  
  
“What?” You tried to move your hand, desperately wanting to touch him.  
  
Loki saw the movement and carefully placed your hand in his. You marveled at how small your hand looked enveloped by his. “I thought I lost you.” He whispered.  
  
“I told you I wouldn’t leave.” Loki simply nodded tiredly as his hand continued stroking you ribs. The longer he held it there, the paler he was growing. “Loki, you’re not strong enough right now.”  
  
He shook his head, “Doesn’t matter. You’re too injured to move. I’ll risk it.”  
  
You bit your lip, unsure of how to argue. “Loki, stop, you’ll hurt yourself.” He looked away from your eyes and focused on your ribs, his other hand’s thumb continuing to stroke your hand. Loki moved his head and allowed the curtains of his hair to block his face. “Loki…” You growled. He shook his head stubbornly. You were quiet as you thought a moment. Then a grin spread across your face and turned into a mischievous smirk. “Ow!” You yelled out, hissing sharply.  
  
Instantly Loki pulled away and moved both hands to your face. “(Y/n)!”  
  
You squinted your eyes shut, knowing if they were open he would see past your lie.  
  
“(Y/n)! Loki!” You heard Thor’s voice echo through the trees.  
  
“We’re over here!” Loki’s voice was strained as he called back.  
  
You opened your eyes in relief as Thor ran into view. “You’re alive!” His face broke out into a grin.  
  
“She needs more healing but my magic must have been in too large a dose and it hurt her. I can’t muster too much more just yet…” Loki looked down and saw a trace of your smile as you became serious.  
  
“Yea, it was too much, and err, hurt me.” You managed a slight nod.  
  
Loki’s mouth dropped open and he glared at you. “Why you cruel… you tricked-“  
  
You hushed him, adding, “Loki, you need to rest too. You’ve already done so much.”  
  
Thor knelt down on your other side and watched the two of you. He shot you a pained look. Then he turned to Loki, “Where’s…?” Loki jerked his head in a direction you couldn’t see. A second later and Mjolnir flew into Thor’s outstretched hand. “Right, I’ll go find the others. Our communication devices are severely limited here.”  
  
“Why did Thor ask you…?” You trailed off as Loki shook his head tiredly.  
  
This time it was Loki who shushed you. “Don’t worry about it darling.” He scooted over so he could cradle your head in his lap.  
  
“Darling.” You repeated with a smile.  
  
“I must confess, I’ve thought of you that way for quite some time.” He placed a soft kiss on your forehead while gently stroking your hair.  
  
“It’s nice hearing it.” You said, still smiling.  
  
“And your smile, for its warmth, I’m surprised the snow does not melt in its presence…” Loki seemed to be thinking out loud. “Every time I’ve held you in my arms, how I hated the thought of letting you go.”  
  
With great effort, you lifted your arm and managed to touch his hand. “You’re quite the charming poet when you want to be, it seems. Me… not so much.” You frowned.  
  
“Everything you say always sounds like poetry in itself.” He murmured.  
  
“You’re making me look bad.” You smirked.  
  
Loki grinned, then muttered. “I should have told you all of this sooner.”  
  
“Well you didn’t because you’re a dumbass.” He frowned and glared at you. “And you’re the dumbass that I love more than anyone I’ve ever known.”  
  
Loki smirked and let out a soft sigh. “And your fiery personality infuriates me like no other.”  
  
“Good. Because we’re still partners and we’re still friends. I don’t want to lose that either. I love you as the person I’ve known all along, and just a little bit more.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “I suppose you’re right. I think it’s safe to say that I still hate you a little also.”  
  
“Works for me.” You grinned.  
  
The two of you remained in companionable silence for a while.  
  
Finally you broke it. “Earlier though, did you mean what you said?” Loki looked at you confused. “That maybe… something about getting married…?” your voice became progressively quieter as you spoke and you lost confidence with each word.  
  
Loki grinned as he gazed down at you lovingly. “If you’ll have me, yes.” He paused a moment and looked around ruefully. “Although I feel like this isn’t the best place for a marriage proposal, and I don’t have a ring.”  
  
“Are you telling me Asgardian custom doesn’t involve requesting someone’s hand in marriage while they’re lying in a pile of snow with countless broken bones?”  
  
Loki laughed and it was warm as the sun and lighter than you had ever heard. “Hardly, that seems more like something that is exclusive to Midgard.”  
  
“I should tell Natasha. I’m sure she and Clint could manage something twice as dramatic.” You paused thoughtfully, “When they realize it’s time anyways.”  
  
Loki nodded, “The two spies complement each other well.” There was the sound of engines just above the tree line and you and Loki looked up. “This shouldn’t go too badly… I hope.” Loki muttered. He wrapped his arms around you and the air shimmered. For a split second, it was just you and Loki; all you could manage was the feeling of him holding you and his very being surrounding you, then you were inside the quinjet and Loki was shaking. He looked deathly pale and without warning slumped over beside you.  
  
“Hawkeye!” You heard Natasha’s voice shout as she jumped up and ran over to you. “They’re both here. Let the others know, we have to leave now.”  
  
“Loki?!” You couldn’t move your body, only your head to look at him. “Loki?!” You shrieked and you felt a shattering in your heart as fear engulfed you.  
  
Natasha moved past you and pressed her fingers to Loki’s wrist. After a second she blanched and struggled with his armour. There was a small opening near his throat and she pressed her ear to it, as well as her hand, trying to get nearer his chest.  
Then she sat up and let out a sigh of relief. “He’s alive!” She yelled at you over the sound of the engines.  
  
You felt tears of relief streaming down your face. “I told that bastard not to go where I couldn’t follow.” You closed your eyes as you tried to calm down. The pain from your fall was quickly returning.  
  
“Here.” Natasha placed Loki’s hand in yours before she started moving around to better situate the two of you. Loki’s hand was colder than ice but you gripped it with all the strength you could muster.  
  
“Thanks Tasha.” You whispered.  
  
Natasha nodded with a smile before pulling out an IV and placing it in your arm. “You can sleep now. We got you two.  
  
You could feel a warm tingling coming from the injection site. “Please… Please don’t take him away.”  
  
“I promise.” Natasha covered the two of you with a blanket and then you were lost to a drugged sleep.  
  


* * *

  
You woke up in a hospital bed, wrapped in bandages. You blinked groggily, looking around slowly and trying to remember what happened.  
  
‘Loki.’  
  
You turned to the side and noticed Loki leaning on the arm of a chair, head propped up on his fist and fast asleep. He was wearing his regular Asgardian armour.  
It hurt when you tried to smile. “Hey Loki.” You said softly.  
  
Loki’s eyes opened slowly, then it registered you were awake. “(Y/n)!” He jumped to his feet and leaned over you, gripping you tightly in a hug. You hissed in pain and he gently pulled away, though his hands never left you. “You’re awake.” He smiled, tears in his eyes.  
  
“I hate waking up in hospitals. How long have I been out?”  
  
“A week or so.” Loki finally sat back down, though he kept firm hold of your hand. “I’ve been healing you on and off, but it’s exhausting.” He frowned apologetically.  
  
“How long ‘til I’m up and moving? Also where are we?”  
  
“Medbay in the metal man’s tower.” Loki hesitated, “As for getting up, I’m not sure. You fell quite a distance, you’re lucky it didn’t kill you.” Loki glanced up at the ceiling then returned his gaze to you. You searched for the spot he had been looking, finally identifying a camera. “The metal man and the spy have been nearly constantly watching us.” Loki mumbled, his back to the camera, though you didn’t doubt his ability to create an illusion so it saw what he wanted.  
  
“Us?”  
  
“I haven’t left your side. How could I?”  
  
You smiled softly. “Thanks.” Then you glanced back up at the camera. “I wonder what they’re watching for?”  
  
“Well, I haven’t mentioned to anyone that I proposed to you.” You had to strain to hear Loki’s voice, “I didn’t know if you had just agreed because of the circumstances, and-“  
  
You reached for his jacket and tugged him towards you. You were too weak to actually force him but he complied with your actions. You pulled him close and your lips met, softly meshing together and your eyes drifted shut.  
Loki’s eyes slowly opened after he gently pulled away, allowing you to breath.  
  
“Does that answer your question?” You paused, then added playfully, “dumbass?”  
  
Loki smiled weakly before stroking your cheek. He seemed at a loss for words and just sat there admiring you. Finally he nodded, taking your hand in his and stroking the back of it with his thumb. After a moment he placed a soft kiss on the back and murmured something unintelligible. When he pulled away, you looked down at your finger and noticed a beautiful gold band encrusted with green and black gems.  
  
Your mouth fell open in the shape of an ‘o’. “It’s beautiful.” You breathed gently.  
  
“Like you. Though not quite as…” You smirked, then your smile faded as you studied the ring. Loki’s heart skipped a beat and he looked at you confused. “What?”  
  
“Don’t you need Odin’s approval?”  
  
“Nothing in all the realms will keep me from being with you.” Loki paused, “Assuming you still want me.”  
  
You took his hand again. “There’s no one else, and nothing else, I could possibly want more.” The two of you fell quiet. After a moment you asked, “Can we do a wedding though?”  
  
Loki blinked in surprise, “Yes of course.” He chuckled, “I’m sure the other Avengers would be thrilled to help you plan it.”  
  
You grinned and nodded eagerly, “Ok, will we do the same ceremony as Jane?”  
  
Loki shrugged, “If you want to.”  
  
“Well, Odin is a dick and we’re probably not getting his official approval anyways, might as well make a ceremony we both enjoy, right?”  
  
Loki grinned, “That sounds excellent. I will be more than happy with whatever you choose to do, just so long as you will be by my side.”  
  
You were quiet again and Loki stared at you, waiting for you to talk. “So back on the rooftop, were you serious about killing my exes?”  
  
“Somewhat, I figure I’d track them down first, maybe just turn them into frogs if they were pleasant.”  
  
Your mouth fell open. “Really?” Loki nodded solemnly. “Well, what if it had been, like, Stark or someone?”  
  
Loki glared at you. “That’s not funny.” You raised an eyebrow. “Fine, if it were Stark, then I’m sure he could manage a metal suit for a frog.” You glared at him. “Fine! Just their first born, and it’ll only be for six months or so. I’ll even let them give birth to a normal looking human so they know it’s healthy beforehand.” Your mouth dropped open. “If they touch what is rightfully mine, they deserve it.”  
  
“I wouldn’t have been yours at the time!” Loki shrugged. “And what is it with you and frogs?”  
  
“Fine!” Loki growled, his voice exasperated, “It’ll be a dog. Humans are fond of those, yes?”  
  
“What does that have anything to do with?”  
  
Loki held up a book, titled ‘Norse Mythology.’ “I’ve been reading your so called literature of my people. I would like to know how exactly they thought I could sire a wolf. Let alone be the mother of a horse?” Loki shook his head, dropping the book on the ground and rolling his eyes. You couldn’t help smirking at him. “I think that turning their firstborn into a dog would be fair recompense for touching you.”  
  
“No cursing first borns!” You saw a flash of mischief in Loki’s eyes. “Or any borns!” Loki pouted. “No children cursing, no people cursing, no cursing.”  
  
Loki leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and scowling, “Fine! Fine! Just take the fun out of everything why don’t you.”  
  
“You were joking?” Your eyebrows rose in disbelief.  
  
“Mostly.” Loki grinned.  
  
Suddenly the doors flew open, “(Y/n)!” Natasha yelled as she ran in. “You’re awake!” She leaned over and hugged you, “Oh I’m so glad. Loki’s been so worried.”  
  
Loki scowled, “Everyone has been worried.”  
  
Natasha looked over her shoulder and grinned at Loki, before looking back at you. As her gaze returned to you, she noticed the ring on your finger. Her mouth dropped open. “No!” You blushed as she looked over at Loki.  
  
You nodded timidly, “Yea…”  
  
Letting out a very uncharacteristic squeal, Natasha jumped up and down before turning around and hugging Loki. Loki cringed away from her, looking incredibly uncomfortable. You started laughing.  
  
“Oh I have to tell the others!” Natasha shouted as she ran out of the room.  
  
“I did not expect that at all.” You muttered quietly, though you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.  
  
Loki shook his head, though he was also smiling, “Me neither.”  
  
Footsteps ran down the hall and the doors flew open.  
  
“(Y/n)!” Bucky and Thor shouted in unison. The two men ran in, Thor hugged you tightly, followed by a slightly gentler hug from Bucky.  
  
“It’s so good to see you awake.” Bucky grinned. “Natasha said you had something important to say…” He trailed off, slightly unsure.  
  
“Oh wait!” Thor held up his hand, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “Did Loki tell you?” He glanced down at Loki.  
  
Standing up, Loki shook his head. “She hasn’t been awake for more than an hour brother.”  
  
Thor beamed, “Jane is pregnant! I’m going to be a father!”  
  
Your mouth dropped open in surprise. “Seriously?” Thor nodded excitedly. “Well,” you smiled weakly, bracing yourself to say the words, “I guess I’m going to be an aunt then.” You held up your finger with the ring on it.  
  
“No way…” Bucky breathed out. You smiled, nodding excitedly. Bucky turned to Loki and gently punched him in the shoulder, “It’s about time!” Loki scowled. “I was going to start trying to set her up on dates to see if I could get you jealous enough to say something.”  
  
Thor bent over and hugged you, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Oh welcome to the family (Y/n)! I’m so glad for you both!” He turned to Loki and grabbed him in a bear hug. “This is so wonderful!” Then Thor fell silent and there was a heaviness in the air. “What of father?” He asked quietly.  
  
Loki’s eyes flashed, you interrupted him before he could speak, “Let’s worry about that later. Right now, I could seriously do with a drink.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly, “Do you want me to bring it here?”  
  
“Hell no, let’s go to the lounge, I hate hospitals.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re strong enough to walk?” Loki frowned.  
  
“Nope! You can carry me though.” You smiled. Loki rolled his eyes. Batting your eyelashes and pouting your lower lip, you added, “Please?”  
  
Bucky smirked at Loki and elbowed him. “You help her get up, we’ll head Natasha off so everyone meets in the lounge instead of crowding in here.”  
  
Loki sighed, “Very well, that sounds better.” Thor and Bucky left and the room was quiet again.  
  
“If you don’t want to, we can just tell the others I ended up in too much pain. I don’t want to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”  
  
Stroking your cheek, then gently kissing you, Loki shook his head. “No, I want to do what makes you happy. And I know for certain you hate these rooms.”  
  
“Thanks.” Loki walked around your bed, carefully moving the sheets from you. “Loki?” He hummed in response. “Whatever happens with Odin, I’ll be there with you, ok? I won’t let him hurt you anymore.”  
  
Loki swallowed hard, “Thank you.” Then he paused and looked down, “Odin hasn’t hurt me.”  
  
“Not all scars are physical.”  
  
Loki gently lifted you into his arms as though you weighed nothing more than a child. He leaned down, bringing his lips to yours and kissing you deeply. All too soon he pulled away, “Thank you love.”  
  
You grinned, “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that.”  
  
Loki smirked, nuzzling his face into your neck, “Me neither.” He murmured quietly. “Come, let’s go see our friends.”  
  
“You know, that’s the first time you’ve referred to everyone as your friend too.”  
  
“Did I?” Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise and you nodded. He started walking, “I suppose you’re right.”  
  
You curled against Loki’s chest and hummed in contentment. As the two of you neared the elevator, you said, “I should make you let me walk so I can pay you back for all that stress you gave me.”  
  
Loki scowled, “That was different.” You giggled and Loki looked down at you, gazing at you tenderly. Then all too soon, the moment was broken by the elevator door opening.  
  
“Congratulations!” The rest of the Avengers shouted as you walked out.  
  
Loki carried you over to the couch and set you down, allowing everyone to gather around the two of you and congratulate each other individually.  
Finally everyone dispersed around the room, Loki held you in his lap as the conversations continued.  
  
“So, you and Loki then?” Steve asked with a smile.  
  
You nodded happily, casting a quick look at Loki for confirmation before gazing back across the room, “Yep.”  
  
“We’re so glad for you two.” Bruce smiled. “And Thor told us about Odin, don’t worry, we’re all behind you 100%, we’ll make it work.”  
  
When it started to get late in the evening, you found yourself dozing. Eventually Loki noticed, bade everyone good night and carried you back to the medbay. On the way, in the elevator, you woke up.  
  
“Wait, Loki?”  
  
“Yes love?”  
  
“Can I stay with you tonight?” Loki frowned uncertainly. You hesitated, “Just, just stay. It’s nice being beside you, I sleep better.”  
  
Loki inclined his head and switched floors, “You know, after you and I became partners, my nightmares stopped.”  
  
“Really?” You asked and Loki nodded, “I had hoped so.”  
  
“You noticed?” He raised his eyebrow at you.  
  
“Of course. I told you I’ve loved and cared about you since the moment I met you.”  
  
Loki gently slid you into the bed before crawling in beside you and holding you close. He gently kissed your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you. “I love you too. Go to sleep little one.”  
  
“Good night Loki.”


	38. Chapter 38

When you woke up, you smiled, realizing that Loki’s arm was still wrapped comfortingly around your waist. With slight difficulty, you rolled over to look at him, still pressed tightly against his body.  
To your surprise, Loki was awake and staring at you. “Hey Loki,” you murmured.  
  
He smiled but his expression seemed pained. “Good morning darling.”  
  
You frowned. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Loki shook his head. “Nothing.”  
  
“Loki, we’ve been over this. Please trust me, there’s nothing you can’t say.”  
  
Finally Loki sighed, “Now that we are getting married…” he said slowly, you felt your heart skip a beat and swallowed hard. Was he having second thoughts? Loki saw your worry and shook his head quickly, “No, no, it’s not that.” He closed his eyes and breathed out heavily. “You are aware that I’m very protective and thus possessive of the things I care about.” You nodded slowly. Loki nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck so when he spoke, his voice was muffled, “I’m trying to convince myself that I don’t have to take you some place and lock you away to keep you safe.” He hesitated and his voice fell quieter where you could barely hear him, “and so you won’t leave.”  
  
You sighed and stroked his hair, gently pressing your lips to his head. Finally you pushed him away so he was forced to look at you. “I won’t leave you, I promised. And as long as you’re nearby, or our friends, they can assure you I’m safe. Also, I can protect myself.” You smiled ruefully, “I’m a big girl.”  
  
Loki shook his head, “You’re human. Humans are so fragile.” He pressed his hand near your throat, stroking your jaw. “I can break you so easily, I couldn’t bear that happening.”  
  
You took his hand and slid it up so it was resting on your cheek. He stroked your skin as you held his hand in place. “Yes, you can, but you won’t. Because you love me, and I love you. I’m not leaving and you won’t hurt me.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly, though still looked unconvinced. You could see doubt flickering in his eyes as he tried to accept what you were saying. Then he quietly asked, “And what about someone else? Like Thor?”  
  
You furrowed your brow, “Thor?”  
  
“No one ever chooses me, not truly. Certainly not if Thor is there.”  
  
You rolled your eyes and gently shoved his chest. “No, I definitely wouldn’t want Thor. We’re friends, that’s all we’ll ever be. He’s like a brother to me. And if nothing else, he’s about to be a father with Jane.” You raised your eyebrow, “Thor would never leave Jane, which doesn’t matter because he doesn’t matter to me in that way.”  
  
Loki bit his lip, “I’ve… I’ve had suitors in the past.” You felt a pang in your heart and nodded slowly. “And they’ve all liked me well enough. I suppose they chose me over Thor, although perhaps that’s because they felt they didn’t have a chance with him.”  
  
You smiled weakly and nodded, “See? They were right.” You bit down hard, trying not to think about it.  
  
Loki’s eyes widened in horror. “No! Nothing like that!” He pulled you tightly against his chest and stroked your hair. “I love you more than anything, more than anyone. I just,” he hesitated, “I’m trying to be honest about everything.”  
  
You pulled away from his grip, smiling weakly, “Right. I just… does what they think of you matter more than what I think?”  
  
Loki shook his head and cradled you in his arms, “You’re right, my love, I am so sorry. Please forgive me.”  
  
Nodding, you sighed, “Of course.” You chuckled, “I just don’t get the chance to get rid of anyone who would touch what’s mine.”  
  
“I have never belonged to another because I have never truly loved another. Perhaps at one time I might have confused myself, but with the love I feel towards you,” he paused, shaking his head, “this, nothing can compare.”  
  
You kissed him gently, before pulling away and smiling. “I love you too. Thank you.”  
  
Loki rolled onto his back, pulling you over so you lay across his chest. “Norns… To think that I could ever do anything to hurt you.” He gently stroked your back and you felt the familiar tingling of healing magic flowing.  
  
You sighed as the soothing magic flowed through you. A thought struck you after a moment and you groaned. Loki quickly pulled away and sat up, “What is it?”  
  
“The others… they probably…” You groaned again and moved away from Loki, burying your face in the pillow.  
  
“They’re what?” Loki seemed absolutely befuddled, holding his hands out, trying to figure out how to help you.  
  
“They’re probably going to think that you and I… last night…” You lifted your head up and stared pointedly at him. It took a moment for Loki to realize what you were saying, when it finally registered he burst out laughing. “I was too tired last night to think about it.” You groaned.  
  
Loki chuckled softly as he stroked your back. “Yes.” He hummed thoughtfully, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  
  
You gingerly rolled onto your back and reached up to Loki’s face, stroking his cheek with your thumb. Loki leaned into your touch and smiled down at you. Frowning, you bit your lip, “Do you think, maybe,” you trailed off hesitantly. Loki raised an eyebrow as he waited expectantly. “Maybe wait for the wedding? Just follow tradition?” Suddenly you felt nervous, unsure of Loki’s reaction, what if he didn’t want to?  
  
Loki’s smile broadened and he bent down, kissing you lightly on the lips, “Of course, my love.” He murmured as he pulled away. “I will never do anything to hurt you, nor anything, to the best of my ability, to upset you.”  
  
“Thanks Loki.”  
  
You saw a hint of guilt in his eyes and frowned, “Starting now.” He mumbled.  
  
“What?” Loki reached from behind him and handed you something small. It took a second for you to realize it was your cellphone.  
  
Your S.H.I.E.L.D. mission phone.  
  
You snatched it from his hand and quickly opened it: there were a dozen missed calls from Fury. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt nauseous, looking up with a mixture of anger and horror.  
“Loki, what the hell?!”  
  
“You’ve been sleeping. Some of the calls were from the last week. Then I was to inform S.H.I.E.L.D. when you woke up, but it was so pleasant being around you and you were so happy with our friends, and then-“  
  
You groaned, covering your face with one hand as you called Fury back and waited for it to connect. Fury's voice came through the line. “Agent (Y/n)?”  
  
“Hi director, sorry, err, sir.” You muttered, casting an angry look at Loki. Loki rolled his eyes.  
  
“Loki said that he would have you call as soon as you woke up. I’m glad to hear you’re awake.”  
  
“Yes, well,” You trailed off. You still didn’t want to lose your job.  
  
There was silence from Fury for a moment as he took in your hesitation. “Well done on your actions in Russia, you saved a lot of lives there. You and Loki. I’d like to thank you in person, but your  _partner_  has been very insistent that I let you rest. Will you be able to make an appearance at HQ later today? I’d like to officially recognize your actions.”  
  
You gasped as Loki seized the phone from your hands. “She just woke up, you dog, and you want her to jump to your beck and call the second she has legs to stand. You don’t even know if she can!” Loki snarled into the phone.  
  
You grabbed it away from him before he could say more. “Loki says hi.” You smiled and added cheerily.  
  
Fury was silent again and Loki crossed his arms, glaring at the phone in your hand. “Are you able to come in?” The director’s voice was considerably less demanding.  
  
“Yea, we’ll head over later today. Loki owes Mariah an apology.” You shot a stern look at Loki, the other Avengers had filled you in on what you had missed since your departure. Loki managed to look slightly apologetic, you could tell that it only went as far that he was sorry he upset you. And even that was generous.  
  
“We’ll see you then.” Fury hung up.  
  
“Well?” You glared at Loki.  
  
He crossed his arms and glared back down at you. “Well what?”  
  
The two of you sat there in silence until finally you sighed and let out a quiet laugh. “You’re still the same dumbass.”  
  
“And you’re still the same infuriating mortal.” Loki grinned before capturing your mouth in a kiss. You both held the kiss before slowly starting to move your lips in sync and deepening it.  
  
Finally you pulled back, forcing yourself away. “No, we have to get breakfast and start our day.”  
  
Loki frowned before sighing and running a hand through his hair, “Fine, let’s go face the others.”  
  
He helped you out of bed but you insisted on not being carried. With much exasperation, Loki lifted your arm over his shoulder and supported you as you tried to walk to the elevator. However, with his height and strength, he might as well have been carrying you anyways.  
  
The elevator door opened and Steve, who was sitting on the couch, looked up. “Good morning you two.” He called. Steve looked slightly embarrassed and there was the faintest bit of pink to his cheeks as he spoke.  
  
You slowly shook your head and rolled your eyes. “No Steve, we’re just getting breakfast. Fury wants us over at S.H.I.E.L.D.”  
  
“Hey! It’s the happy couple!” Tony’s voice, followed shortly by Tony, came from the kitchen. He gave you a knowing look as Natasha trailed behind him.  
  
“Wait, S.H.I.E.L.D. already?” Natasha asked, interrupting Tony. Though she gave you a similar look.  
  
You quickly shook your head, still leaning heavily against Loki. “He wanted to officially thank us for our service. Check in on me. Apparently Loki spent the last week screening my calls?”  
  
The elevator door sounded while you were speaking and Bucky and Thor arrived in time to hear you.  
“In Loki’s defense, we all agreed to keep S.H.I.E.L.D. off your back while you rested.” Bucky spoke as he made his way to the couch.  
  
Loki led you to the couch and had you sit down.  
“Thanks you guys.” You looked around and smiled at everyone. Thor glanced between you and Loki. You spoke before he could though, “but we’ll probably head out to HQ around 3, since it’s what, noon right now? Give us time to eat and then get ready.”  
Natasha offered to drive the two of you and you thanked her. After you and Loki ate and finished any last minute things, you were ready to go.  
  


* * *

  
As Natasha drove, you sat in the passenger seat and sat Loki in the back. Since you were going to a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, he was wearing his armour again.  
Though back at the tower, he was starting to spend more time in earth clothes. Perhaps you were chipping away at another layer of metaphorical armour in having him wear human clothes.  
  
Loki sat with his elbow on the door, head propped up and looking out the window; his other hand idly tapping on his knee.  
  
“We’re not going on a quinjet any time soon, right?” You asked Natasha, loud enough for Loki’s benefit.  
  
Natasha smiled, “I’m sure they’ll let you heal first.”  
  
“I’d really like if they stopped getting shot down.” You muttered as Natasha laughed. Looking over, you were pleased to see a small smile from Loki.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Alright! We’re here.” Natasha announced as she pulled the car to a stop. “I’ll go park, meet up with you two in a while, alright?”  
  
You glanced back at Loki who nodded. After you exited the car, Loki helped support you inside HQ. You walked with one arm leaning heavily on Loki’s shoulder while he kept his arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you while also being a comforting reminder of his presence. It was also, perhaps, a small show of possessiveness, but you didn’t really mind; you belonged to each other.  
  
As you walked, there was the occasional buzz of conversation that followed you. The subject of discussion was clearly Loki’s close proximity to you. You glanced up nervously at him, wondering how he was reacting to the attention. Loki smiled and you realized that he had eyes only for you. Everything else around him was simply a bore; they were, after all, worthless mortals in his eyes. You couldn’t help smiling, realizing just how highly he valued you.  
  
“Love, what are you thinking about?” Loki murmured quietly, amusement clear in his voice and eyes.  
  
Blushing, you mumbled back, “Just you.”  
  
Loki smirked and chuckled softly as he continued walking.  
  
Eventually the two of you reached Fury’s office. The director turned around to greet you, and as the doors opened, you were welcomed with a chorus of cheers and applause.  
  
Agent Mariah Hill stood just to the side of Fury as he also nodded at you in approval. “Welcome back agent, Loki. You’ve done quite the exceptional work with the destruction of that base. You’ve saved a lot of lives that way.”  
  
You nodded, “Glad to be of service.”  
  
Loki simply inclined his head. You elbowed him in the ribs and he sighed, turning to Mariah. “Apologies for locking you in a closet.”  
  
Mariah nodded curtly. “Appreciated.”  
  
“So what now?” You asked the two S.H.I.E.L.D. leaders.  
  
“Are you still up to taking more missions?” As Fury spoke, you could feel Loki tense beside you. Fury hastily added, “When you’re healed of course.”  
  
You looked up at Loki, “What do you say, partner?”  
  
Loki nodded, “I’ll follow you to hel itself.”  
  
Mariah smiled at the two of you then her gaze flitted down to your hand. She raised an eyebrow, “I take it after the wedding?”  
  
Grinning, you could see the visible shock on Fury’s face. “I think we’ve earned a small leave of absence.”  
  
Quickly regaining himself, Fury smirked, “Well who would have thought it? The so-called god deciding to settle down with a mortal.”  
  
Loki grit his teeth, and you could see him tensing as he decided between physical or verbal action. You spoke before he could choose, “Who said anything about settling down? We’re still full time S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and Loki has done more work and saved more lives in the last two years than most agents achieve in their entire careers. He should have more than earned your respect and gratitude by now.”  
  
“You’re right,” Fury conceded, “Thank you Loki, and good work. You do have humanity’s thanks, whether they realize it or not.”  
  
Mariah continued for Fury when he fell silent, “Majority opinion here agrees that you’ve certainly made up for the Chitauri invasion.”  
  
Loki blinked in surprise, “I- thank you.” He stammered.  
  
“So when is the wedding?” Mariah asked.  
  
You let out a long breath of air, “Err, I think I’ll give some of the reins over to Natasha and see what she thinks. She’s good at planning that sort of thing.”  
  
Mariah inclined her head, “Congratulations again you two.”  
  
“Yes,” Fury agreed, “You’ve done a damned good job with everything.”  
  
After a small amount of conversation, idly catching up on any goings-on at S.H.I.E.L.D. while you were unconscious, you and Loki left Fury’s office and made your way back to where Natasha would be waiting.  
  
“So what do you plan to do with the rest of the day?” Loki asked as you walked.  
  
“Want to get dinner or something? Like normal couples do? We haven’t really been on a date before.”  
  
Loki laughed, “Are you telling me that waging battles on terrorist organizations doesn’t constitute as dating here on Midgard?”  
  
You stuck your tongue out at him. “Alright, you got me. How about just milkshakes or something, you know, as a couple. Can I say we’re a couple or are you going to get offended and demand that we’re partners?” You teased.  
  
Loki glared at you and you faltered, wondering if you actually upset him. After a moment he winked and just continued walking in companionable silence.  
  
You slowly shook your head, “C’mon dumbass, we can get brownies too.”  
  
“I can snap your neck.” Loki responded with a smile.  
  
“Good luck with that, you grumpy old god.”  
  
Loki growled softly, picking you up and nuzzling into your neck, placing soft kisses on your throat. You giggled, blushing in embarrassment and struggled to get away. Laughing, you gasped out, “Stop it! Stop it!”  
  
Loki laughed and pulled away, though he didn’t set you down. “It’s not nice to tease, darling, you have no idea the punishments I’m willing to inflict on you.”  
  
Before you could respond, you heard a loud car horn, followed by Natasha calling, “Hey! PDA you two!”  
  
Loki quickly set you down and you giggled when you saw his blush. “C’mon,” You said as you reached for his hand, “Let’s go.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your comments are so wonderful and make me so happy and I just really appreciate em and look forward to them each day

“I’m getting married today…” You whispered quietly to your reflection in the mirror.  
  
Natasha walked over and leaned her elbow on your shoulder, “Yep, nervous?”  
  
You nodded.  
  
It had been three months since Loki proposed, three months since you and Loki singlehandedly razed a fortress defended by a small army.  
  
The time had been a blur of just being with Loki, him truly opening up to you in ways you thought you would never know; it seemed each day that you had chipped away at another layer of his emotional armour. You had confided, at one point, in Natasha wondering just how thick a person’s emotional defenses could be. She had smiled sadly and shook her head briefly. Even though you understood in theory, you still marveled at it.  
  
Your healing was fast with Loki’s help, but it was still painful. That first trip to S.H.I.E.L.D. after you woke up must have been fueled by adrenaline, because the next two weeks were hell on your body as you sat collapsed on the couch or Loki’s bed. You still used your room occasionally, but you had grown to love the feeling of Loki’s strong arms around you at night; that safety you felt in his presence was a balm to your pains.  
  


* * *

  
_”Hey Loki?” You whispered quietly one night as you lay close to his side.  
  
Loki had kept his eyes shut when he answered, “Yes?”  
  
“Do you feel safe when I’m around?” Loki opened an eye and stared down at you as though silently asking you what kind of question that was. “When I’m with you, your arms around me, I feel safe and at home.” You elaborated. “I was just wondering if you felt the same way.”  
  
Loki closed his eye again and nodded, smiling softly. “Yes. There’s nowhere else in all the realms I would rather be than with you in my arms or by your side.” He pulled you into a tighter hug. “I love you so much, my darling (y/n). I’ve been told that home is where your heart is, and you are my home. I don’t care where we are, so long as you’re there. So yes, I feel safe with you.”  
  
“I’ll protect you from anything Loki, I promise.”  
  
Loki chuckled, opening his eyes again. “You are small, my little dove, I’m not sure you can protect me from all of my enemies.” He looked away, trailing off sadly.  
  
“Let them try,” you growled fiercely, “there’s no one I won’t fight to keep you safe.”  
  
Loki smirked, though it slowly became a smile. “You’re right, I shouldn’t doubt you.”  
  
“Whatever tries to hurt you, even if I can’t protect you by myself, you’ll never face anyone alone. I’ll never let you be alone again, ok? I promise.”  
  
Loki kissed you gently, “I believe you. Now go to sleep, it’s late.”  
  
You hooked your leg over his and rested your head on his chest. Lulled by his strong heartbeat, you slowly drifted off to sleep. “Good night Loki, I love you.”  
  
“I love you too.” Loki replied, stroking your hair as he too fell asleep. _   
  


* * *

  
“So.” Natasha said slowly.  
  
You breathed in deeply and nodded, “Loki. Me and Loki.” You smiled, heart bursting with joy. Just a short distance away was your soon-to-be-husband, waiting for you at the altar.  
  
You looked down at your gorgeous gown. This dress oozed superiority, an A-line dress with a chiffon skirt; the skirt itself was long and white, medium sized green jewels laid out a pattern across the bottom of the skirt. A large gold ribbon belt with a large green jewel design on the front. The top was more shiney fabric, soft white flower decals were laced into the top of the dress, going from large to small from the middle of your chest to the back. Elegance was this dress’ name.  
  
While it may have been against tradition, you couldn’t help but want Loki’s colours added to the design of the dress. He hadn’t seen it yet, of course, but you had a feeling he would approve of the stylistic choice. Natasha had simply shaken her head in amusement as Pepper helped you with the design.  
  
Jane walked in, her baby bump just starting to show in her bridesmaid dress. She, Pepper, and Darcy were all your bridesmaids. Natasha, as your closest friend, was your maid of honor.  
  
“You look stunning.” Jane breathed. “I’m so happy for you two.”  
  
Darcy and Pepper entered a moment after her, lugging a huge chest between them. Fandral, once again – and to Darcy’s great pleasure – was attending.   
Pepper knelt down and opened the chest, revealing a large bowl that seemed to be made of melded emeralds and gold. It was similar fashion to the one used at Jane’s wedding, except Loki’s colours and not Thor’s. Darcy helped her carefully pour the shimmery liquid in before Natasha slowly picked it up.  
  
“So you’re going through with this part of the ceremony?” Natasha asked, shifting uncomfortably at the weight.  
  
You shrugged, “I thought it was a neat part, and Loki liked it. He didn’t really say what about it, just that he wanted it.”  
  
Jane grinned and nodded knowingly, “I’m glad that you’ll use it.”  
  
“Although I’m fine without the veils and armour.”  
  
Natasha grinned, “Too bad, I would have loved to be the decoy bride for you.”  
  
You smirked at her, “I would’ve had to have Clint be your decoy husband then.” A faint blush crossed her cheeks as she rolled her eyes. “You know,” you added, “originally, Loki proposed after I fell off the building, unofficially of course.”  
  
“Most people like being outside at a famous landmark or place that holds emotional significance to the couple.” Natasha laughed.  
  
“Exactly! I think we’re on to something with a new tradition.” You beamed at the four women around you.  
  
“Don’t let Tony hear you, I don’t think he should be given any ideas.” Pepper muttered but still smiled at you.  
  
“You ready?” Natasha asked, shifting the bowl again.  
  


* * *

  
_You sat on Loki’s bed, legs crossed as he finished his shower. He opened the bathroom door and walked out, wearing his long black sleeping pants. It amused you how much he loved the fleece material. Loki towel dried his hair as he walked, the last few water droplets occasionally running down his bare chest.  
  
You grinned up at him, though you couldn’t keep the blush off your face. Loki smirked when he saw you staring but didn’t say anything. After a moment you looked away and sighed.  
  
Cocking his head to the side, Loki asked, “What is it, darling?”  
  
Shrugging, you laid down on your back, lacing your fingers behind your head as you stared at the ceiling. “I swear, you know everything about me. But you… you’re still such a mystery to me.”  
  
You felt the bed dip down as Loki crawled towards you. He lay down on his stomach, propped up on his elbows and hands resting under his chin as he stared at you thoughtfully. He frowned for a bit, then sat up as an idea occurred to him.  
  
“Here.” Loki situated himself so he was seated cross legged opposite you and you positioned yourself, mirroring him. After a moment, you watched in fascination as his skin seemed to shimmer and a myriad of scars became visible. Your mouth fell open as you studied each of them in turn. Loki shifted uncomfortably under your gaze.  
  
“So much pain…” You whispered quietly, not hiding the sorrow in your voice. Your gaze flickered back up at Loki, “Yet handsome as ever.” You grinned slyly at him and saw a faint blush on his cheeks, clearly embarrassed.  
  
Holding up his left hand, palm up, Loki reached for your hand with his right. He took your fingers and slid them along the scar, carefully watching your expression.  
  
Loki breathed in deeply, then spoke. “This one, of course, you know. The knife that was aimed for you, I took instead. In retrospect, I could probably have used magic to stop it, but at the same time, I was too concerned for your safety to think of it.”  
  
You nodded. Loki moved your hand to the diagonal gash that started low on his hip, before sliding it up and along his torso to his shoulder. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the smooth skin under your fingers. Loki’s breath hitched and he closed his eyes while your fingers ghosted along the skin.  
  
“Also Africa.” His voice was deeper than before, husky too, and he kept his eyes closed for a moment longer. When he opened them, they were dark but he shook his head and continued. He pointed to another scar on his side, “Same place.” Chuckling softly and rolling his eyes at the memory, Loki took your hand again. This time, he moved your hand to the worst scar, the most prominent of them all. “This is from Svartalfheim.” He murmured quietly. “I believe you are aware of the matching one on my back.”  
  
You nodded, “I saw it when we were at Jane’s place.”  
  
Loki held your hand in place, his resting over top yours and completely enveloping it for a time. Through the smooth skin, you could feel his steady heartbeat. Loki closed his eyes and smiled sadly as he searched for words. “Kursed, one of the greatest weapons in the dark elves’ army, stabbed me. I distracted it to save Thor, it was the only way I could think to kill it. Sacrificing my own life, so that my brother might live.” He opened his eyes and looked down at you, there were traces of tears in his eyes. “By all accounts, I should have died.  Odin must have held some sentiment for me, perhaps Frigga’s spirit guided him on, but he sent a guard to check on the state of Thor and his mortal. She and Thor had fled Svartalfheim to face Malekith here on Midgard, leaving me behind. I can forgive Thor, he thought me dead, and I believed it as well. I’m still not entirely sure what happened, but as I said, Odin must have held some trace of sentiment for me and I was able to return to health.”   
  
You reached your other hand up and slid it around Loki’s neck, pulling him closer to you and kissing him fiercely. You gripped your fingers tightly in his hair and deepened the kiss. Loki slid his hand behind you and held you just as tightly. Finally the two of you pulled away for air and you smiled, albeit a little tearfully. “Thank you for telling me.”  
  
Loki smiled at you weakly, falling quiet, but then he forced himself to continue, “The other scars are from my time spent…” Loki trailed off. He swallowed hard and you could see him fighting to speak, but there was a fearful haunted look in his eyes.  
  
You softly stroked his shoulder, “It’s ok, you’re safe now.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly, but you could still see the doubt in his eyes. “The healing I received,” Loki paused, then added forcefully, “there.” He fell silent for a time and his mask fell away completely. You could see the horror, agony, fear, and above all, despair, etched into his features. “I was not able to forget mercy. That was the cruelest part.” Several tears rolled down his cheeks and he shook his head.  
  
You pulled him close to you, cradling him in your arms with his face pressed against your chest, resting just under your chin. “You’re safe here.” You repeated softly, murmuring words of comfort as he allowed himself to cry freely. You could feel him shaking against you, and he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tighter.  
  
“I relived that every night for so long.” He breathed between body wracking gasps. “Then,” Loki swallowed hard again, “you started waking me when the night terrors were at their worst.” He became quiet again, the silence broken only occasionally by a pained gasp or choked sob. Finally he pulled away, though he took your hand in his and kissed it softly. “When we went on our first mission, and we fell asleep together,” Loki smiled tearfully, “that was the first time they stopped. Since you’ve been around, I don’t relive it each night.  
  
There was dampness on your cheeks and you realized that you were crying freely as well, you hadn’t noticed when you started, nor did you care. You could feel your heart swell with happiness as you realized the peace you brought him.  
  
“There.” Loki smiled, saying, “Now you know me better.”  
  
“Thank you for telling me.” You paused and glanced over at the silver chest sitting on Loki’s dresser, the music box you had gotten him for Christmas.  
  
Loki followed your gaze, “Ahh, yes. I love it, truly.” He sighed heavily, “It is a stark and painful reminder at times, though, of Frigga.”  
  
“Your mother.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly, “The day she died.” Loki clenched his teeth and closed his eyes. Then as he opened them, he said bitterly, “I told her she wasn’t my mother. I never had the chance to make amends or tell her otherwise. She died thinking that I didn’t believe her to be my mother.”  
  
“The way you speak of her now, it’s pretty clear that you love her as your mother.”  
  
Loki shook his head, “She gone now, she doesn’t know.”  
  
You shook your head as well, though more adamantly. “No. Wherever she’s at, I’m sure she has no doubt of the love you hold for her. The way you speak of her, I doubt she ever believed for a second that you didn’t love her.”  
  
“Do you truly believe that?” Loki searched your face.  
  
“Hell yes I do, absolutely.” You gently rubbed his shoulders before lightly kissing him again.  
  
“I truly am so lucky to have you.” Loki murmured affectionately, smiling at you.  
  
“Not as lucky as me.” You both fell quiet, both smiling and marveling at each other’s presence.  
  
“There, do you feel you know me better?”  
  
“Much better. Thanks.”  
  
You and Loki sat there quietly lost in thought. You wiped your tears away with the back of your hand before reaching up and brushing Loki’s tears away with your thumbs.  
“Such dark things are best forgotten.” Loki murmured.  
  
“I like to try.” You replied.  
  
A devilish grin crossed Loki’s face and you could see the familiar sparkle of mischief in his eyes; the look that always preceded a wicked scheme. “I know just the way.” He growled.  
  
Loki moved forward, his lips crashed against yours as he started kissing you. You reached your fingers up and knotted them in his long black hair, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. He gently pushed you over, knocking you onto your back and crawled over you, straddling your hips. His tongue darted out, sliding along your lip as he demanded entrance. You gave in and his tongue darted in, quickly dominating your mouth as his tongue rolled over yours before sliding along your teeth and exploring every crevice of your mouth. You moaned into the kiss and lightly tugged the hairs at the nape of his neck, eliciting a deep groan from him. Loki held himself up with one hand as the other trailed down your chest, softly kneading and squeezing your breast through your light shirt.  
  
Finally he pulled his mouth away from yours and started trailing kisses down your throat and jaw. His tongue glided along your skin and you arched your back up to him, desperately trying to get closer.  
You let out a breathy moan as his hand started to squeeze and knead your other breast. You slid your fingers down his back and dug your nails into his smooth muscular skin. Eventually, Loki pulled away, allowing the two of you to catch your breath.  
  
He continued to kneel over you, hands on either side of your head, as he stared down at you admiringly. “I love you so much.” He murmured with a soft sigh, smiling.  
  
You smiled back at him, gently stroking his cheek with the back of your hand. “I love you too.”  
_

* * *

  
“More than anything. Thanks for being here you guys, I really appreciate it.” As you spoke, you saw the look of unease cross through Jane’s eyes. There had been a flicker of doubt with Pepper but after she saw Loki around you, she quickly conceded that the match couldn’t be better. Darcy was thrilled for you as her friend and she was also excited for the chance to see Fandral again.  
  
A few days after you announced the engagement, Natasha informed you that she had been waiting since you first convinced Loki to leave his room.  
  
Jane was the only one who seemed to hold any apprehensions. While you appreciated her general concern of your well-being, you also knew she and Loki never saw eye to eye.  
And you still didn’t blame Loki for any dislike he held with her, even sharing some of it with him. It was impossible to forget that, among other things, Jane had had a large part in awakening the aether and the pain that caused would take a long time for anyone to heal. The two of you shared a quick look of understanding and she seemed to realize your thoughts. Finally a small smile crossed her face and she nodded.  
  
“Pepper?”  
  
Pepper took out her phone and pressed a button. A few seconds later, the song “Adagio in D” started to play.  
  
Natasha led the procession, carrying the heavy liquid filled bowl. There was already a table at the altar where the men stood gathered. Only the Avengers were here for the ceremony. You didn’t have any friends outside the group and you certainly didn’t want to make a big fuss.  All you wanted was to share the happiest moment of your life with them.  
  
Although, for the sake of Tony’s ego, you still agreed to throw a massive reception where he had invited anyone and everyone.  
  
One by one, Pepper, Darcy, and then Jane walked down the aisle. Thor beamed at Jane as she walked. Loki had eyes only for you, and he strained his head to see you.  
  
As the music hit its crescendo, you began striding down the aisle, taking deep breaths and trying to calm yourself as you got nearer and nearer the love of your life. Slowly, your face split into an ear to ear grin as you made eye contact with Loki. His smile quickly matched yours, and with that happiness, all doubts you had had were cast aside; there was never anything you wanted more.  
  
This time, Thor was the one to preside over the ceremony and he stood behind the bowl, smiling almost as giddily as you and Loki.  
  


* * *

  
_  
“So you’re going to marry my baby brother?” Thor asked.  
  
You laughed, “Baby brother?” He grinned at you and nodded. “Yea, I am.”  
  
“Good. You have become his guiding light, in ways I never thought possible. And since the moment you met him, you have been able to see his faults and look past them to the person I’ve always known he could be. You were always able to see that.”  
  
You smiled, “He’s been just as good to me.”  
  
“Then it will be an even better union than I could have hoped for.” Thor paused for a moment and his grin widened, “I also expect to have many nieces and nephews!”  
  
You rolled your eyes, trying to downplay your embarrassment, glad that Loki wasn’t around to make it worse.  
_

* * *

  
When you arrived at the altar and stopped, you moved to stand on opposite sides of the bowl as with Loki. You glanced down at the shimmering mixture apprehensively, not altogether certain what it felt like, let alone what it was truly for. All you knew was from what you had seen with Jane and Thor.  
  
Thor began speaking and you looked up from the bowl. “On behalf of those opinions we cherish most, I stand before you today, presiding over this ceremony between Prince Loki of Asgard and the Agent (Y/f/n) of Midgard.” Loki’s eyebrows rose in surprise at the title, a pleased smile quirking on his lips. He looked over at you briefly, registering your reaction; you couldn’t resist the urge and squeezed his arm gently and reassuringly.   
  
Thor continued, “If there are any who believe they are not fit for each other, speak now.” You glanced over at Jane but saw that she was smiling just as happily for you. Thor nodded his approval. “Loki Friggason, will you do everything in your power, both in strength and in will, to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of your wife to be?” Loki had been staring at you, you could see him bracing to hear his full name, but when Thor spoke, Loki’s gaze shot back to his brother and he was speechless; his mouth fell open in shock. There was a flicker of mischief in Thor’s eyes, the type that you were so accustomed to seeing in Loki that you let out a soft laugh. “Well will you?” Thor prompted, still smiling cheekily.  
  
Loki finally found his voice and nodded, “Absolutely, I will.” Then he stepped forward and placed his hand in the liquid.  
  
Thor turned back to you, “And (Y/f/n), will you do everything in your power, both in strength and in will, to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of your husband to be?”  
  
You nodded, “I will.” Loki looked at you encouragingly. Breathing in deeply, you plunged your own hand into the bowl.  
  
You were vaguely aware of Thor speaking, but you were suddenly overcome with visions and thoughts; though it was an alien presence in your mind, you never felt calmer, safer, and more at peace. Time seemed to move at a standstill, but at the same instant, years seemed to blur by.  
  
 _  
Loki sat in the hallway outside the medbay where you lay unconscious, his head leaning against the wall and eyes shut tight as his mind raced furiously. He shut his eyes harder, desperately trying to think.  
  
You had been unconscious for a week or so – seven days, Loki had lied to himself, denying that he was counting the hours that you lay unmoving. The doctor, Banner, had assured Loki that this was unsurprising but Loki still felt worry gnawing at his heart. What if you didn’t wake up?  
  
Loki opened his eyes and slowly and sadly breathed out. He knew you would wake up, there was no doubt there. Not really anyways. His healing abilities truly were impressive, you were strong, and you had managed to land well – all things considered.  
  
No, what truly ate at his conscious was what you had agreed to. You wanted to get married, you wanted to be his, and he yours.  
  
Loki frowned, throat tightening as he thought. This knowledge should fill him with happiness. The woman he loved, the person whom he cared about more than all others, she wanted to spend the rest of her existence with him.  
  
But that was the crux of it: the rest of her existence.  
  
“Hey Loki.” Natasha’s soft voice broke the silence.  
  
Loki dragged his attention back to the present and regarded the assassin. “Hello spy, err, Natasha.”  
  
She smiled at him, then asked seriously, “How are you?”  
  
Loki’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “How am I?” He repeated.  
  
Natasha nodded, “You two are partners. Most S.H.I.E.L.D. agents take that as just being co-workers, it’s clear that you mean more.” Loki scowled, though his gaze flickered towards you briefly. Natasha smirked. “She’s my best friend.” She added.  
  
Loki sighed and stood up, glancing in the doorway, “When she wakes, I will be fine.”  
  
“You know you’re allowed to like people.”  
  
“Am I?” Loki mused, Natasha nodded, almost smugly. “And do you?” She tilted her head. “Do you like people? Do you allow yourself to grow close to people? The widow who has no ties?” Loki’s voice was soft as he regarded her intently. His green gaze bore fiercely into hers.  
  
Natasha’s mouth opened and closed briefly as she searched for words. Loki looked away from her sadly, staring once more at your unmoving frame.  
  
“I am now. I’m making ties, I’m allowed to connect to people. My past doesn’t define me.” Natasha stated forcefully.  
  
Loki glanced back at her, “Apologies,” he muttered, “I meant no offense.”  
  
“You’re worried she will die?”  
  
“Oh I’m certain of it.”  
  
“Bruce has been keeping close watch on her, and I’ve seen just how effective your healing is, she’ll be fine in no time.”  
  
Loki offered Natasha a sad smile. “It will still be a mere heartbeat.”  
  
Natasha breathed a soft ‘oh’ of understanding as the realization of what he was saying dawned on her. “What about Thor and Jane?”  
  
Loki shook his head bitterly, “Do you think I wish the pain my brother will face?”  
  
“So you care about her then?” Natasha asked as Loki smiled and looked at the floor. “What are you thinking? Running away?” His eyes shot back up at her and Natasha registered a flicker of hesitation, “You’d just leave her like that? She cares about you just as much, maybe more.”  
  
“I know.” Loki breathed out heavily, “Maybe if I leave now, she’ll have an easier time forgetting about me.”  
  
“You can’t just leave her, not at the very least without saying goodbye.” Natasha growled.  
  
“I know, and you’re right.” Loki sighed heavily, “but if I stay, I won’t ever be able to leave her.”  
  
“So don’t, don’t leave her, you can stay.”  
  
“I don’t think I could stand to lose her.” Loki could feel his throat tighten again, barely managing the words.  
  
“Aren’t there spells or something? Ways to lengthen her life?” Loki hesitated, but there were no words to say, so Natasha continued, “Or you give up your immortality?”  
  
“I’m considering it.” Loki whispered.  
  
Natasha’s eyebrows rose again, even more surprised. She finally understood the depths of Loki’s feelings for you.  
  
Loki looked back at you, already starting the mental list of what he would be prepared to do to never lose you. He knew he would gladly approach the darkest denizens of the universe on your behalf, bribe them, threaten them, torture them, whatever it took to never lose you.  
  
“Let’s just focus on having her wake up first, ok?” Natasha’s voice pulled Loki from his thoughts again.  
  
He inclined his head, “Right.” Then he smiled ruefully, “and perhaps it won’t matter, perhaps her short lifetime will be enough for her and I will simply stay as her partner and guardian. Thank you spy-Natasha.” Loki corrected himself, before bowing slightly and walking back into the room, resuming his vigil by your side.  
  
After a time, he heard Natasha’s footsteps as she left. Loki took your hand in his and lifted it up, kissing it softly as he studied you. As his cool lips brushed your skin, there seemed to be a faint smile on your lips.  
  
Loki shook his head, desperately fighting the tears, as he smoothed his thumb across your soft skin. He yearned to hold you again, wrap you up in his arms, kiss your soft skin, breathe in your aroma, allow your form to fold perfectly against his and just stay with you. He felt a smile as he thought about stroking your shoulders, trailing his fingers along your spine, sliding them along your sides, ghosting along your body and ultimately knowing you so intimately. He gently brushed some flyaway hairs from your face and smiled again, or just holding you close as he had on the many nights you had cared for him while he was injured, just to be with you would be enough.  
  
“Please hurry and wake up, my gentle dove,” he murmured, “I need you to wake up, I need you to be able to hear just how much I love you.”  
  
Loki paused, not quite expectantly, but there was still a glimmer of hope that you would wake up right now. “I’ve wasted too long denying it. I need you to wake up so I can tell you how much I love you, to let you know that I have always loved you. That I love you more than anyone I have ever known, and more dearly than any power I have ever craved. More dearly than the tesseract, or the throne of Asgard. You are my light and my hope, I wish to cherish you more than the sun, the moon, and all her stars. That I love you, and ultimately those words alone don’t express it, that they don’t come close to describing my feelings, but I promise you, I will show you. Even if you do not care for me in the same way, I love you and will spend the rest of yours and my lives making sure you know.” Loki bent over and kissed your forehead, “my dove, (Y/n), I love you.”  
  
Finally he pulled away and leaned back in his chair, allowing his eyes to drift shut, slowly falling into a light slumber as he thought of you.  
_  
  
All this flooded through your mind as you grasped Loki’s hand beneath the shimmering liquid. You felt tears pool in your eyes and you turned to look at him, mouth agape as you registered just how he felt for you.  
  
You wanted to speak out loud, but your thoughts must have carried through to him, “You mean that?”  
There was the faintest tilt of his head, but within your mind, you could see him nodding and grasping your arms and staring at you imploringly, willing you to realize the depth of his sincerity. You frantically searched your mind, trying to think of any time you had spoken as sincerely as Loki clearly had.  
  
You were aware that yours and Loki’s hands never left the bowl, but you had the sharpest sensation of hugging him fiercely. All you could do was imagine all the times you had been with Loki and the happiness he brought you.  
From your very first encounter with him, back at S.H.I.E.L.D., even then a part of you had looked at him with fondness. Then to when you had demanded he eat with you and the other Avengers, the care you felt towards your partner that you wished he would understand. Then to the many months you spent preparing for your first mission, sleepless nights, always with the nagging worry of Loki, for him. When you had first seen the terror from his nightmares, how desperately you fought to alleviate them. Then your first mission, at the time, unwilling to admit the way he made you feel as you sat huddled against him by the fire. Flashing forward to the time you woke up naked beside him and how you worried that his reaction was out of hatred or disgust.  
  
You felt Loki’s mind interrupt your thoughts, as he seemed to express his constant desire to remain by your side, never letting you go. And the fact that you had trusted him so implicitly when your mind was at its least ability to function.  
  
You glared at him, wanting to continue. Then you thought of the happiness and excitement you had as you planned the perfect gift for him, then the heartbreak at realizing you had upset him. You added that memory, wanting to assure him how much you wanted to protect him and show him he was loved. Pressing on, you moved to your next mission, down in Mexico, when you had slept in the same bed, happily pressed against him.  
  
You wanted to skip past your betrayal, not wanting to mar what you were sharing with such a painful thought.  
  
Loki’s mind cut into yours again.  
 _  
  
Loki groaned, opening his eyes as he stared up at the hot sun. He raised his arm, trying to shield himself from the bright light and coughed, he must have hit his head when he landed in the ditch.  
Slowly he stood up, a ragged old blanket falling from his shoulders, it took him a moment as he tried to register the emotions he felt roiling just beneath the surface; something akin to heartbreak. Loki frowned as he stumbled out to the deserted and dusty road.  
  
“Betrayal?” He growled under his breath, angrily rubbing his forehead and shaking his head. “Damned humans, the lot of them.” He looked up in the direction you had left, trying to think of how to get back to the other Avengers.   
  
A loud rumbling sound came from behind him and Loki spun around, turning to face a vehicle right as it collided with him, throwing him back several meters, before he landed and rolled another few feet, finally coming to a stop on his stomach. Loki groaned.  
  
“What was that?” A gruff voice called from the jeep that had just struck Loki.  
  
“Dunno, go check.” Another answered.  
  
There was static as a radio sounded, “Be on the lookout for a black haired male, possible in pursuit.” The sun was just starting to set as Loki lay in the road.  
  
“In pursuit?” A third voice asked, while the car stalled quietly.  
  
“S.H.I.E.L.D. is in operation in the area.” The radio responded.  
  
“Yea, that kid and the old hag, we were told they were taken care of.” The third voice.  
  
“No wait, remember, they said someone took out Sawyer’s group.” The first voice interjected.   
  
“We have reason to believe this black haired male is involved. We have a woman in custody here, she claims she was by herself, but we know he’s in the area, keep a look out for him. She said he won’t come but the lady doesn’t trust this bitch.” The radio sounded again.  
  
Loki’s eyes shot open as he registered who he was dealing with. He lay still, mind racing as he tried to think how best to react.  
  
“Jackson, go check what we hit.” The second voice commanded.  
  
Loki heard the car door open and the sound of boots hitting the ground, before heavily shuffling in his direction. There was grumbling from the third voice Loki had heard, as the man moved closer to him. “Damned assholes, always fucking sending me on the grunt work. They’ve barely been here longer than me.” The man continued to grumble.  
  
Loki breathed in deeply before sliding in one fluid movement, into the ditch. The man stilled as he saw Loki’s shadowy figure move.  
  
“What is it?” The second man called from the jeep.  
  
“Not sure!” The third man, Jackson, shouted back.  
  
“Quit fucking around and go check it.” The first called.  
  
Jackson sighed, Loki could see him rolling his eyes. Moving more cautiously than before, and much slower, Jackson approached the place where Loki lay.  
  
“Help me.” Loki whispered feebly.  
  
Jackson squinted his eyes, “What?” He asked loudly.  
  
Loki raised his arm weakly, “Please, help me.”  
  
Jackson reached his hand out towards Loki. As soon as Jackson’s hand brushed Loki’s, Loki sprang into action. Loki wrenched the man into the ditch, rolled him over, and snapped his neck with a deft flick of his wrist. Then Loki was on his feet, perfectly trading places with the man and already magically illusioned into an identical copy.  
  
“What was that?” The first man yelled from the truck.  
  
Loki stepped away from the ditch and started walking back to the jeep, “Didn’t see anything.” He called.  
  
“Then what the fuck did we hit?”  
  
Loki shrugged, “Must’ve been a dog. Whatever it was, it’s gone now.” Loki glanced back at the ditch where the body was no longer visible.  
  
The driver, who as it turns out was the first voice spoke, “Alright, whatever, c’mon, let’s get back to base before the lady starts asking questions or gets upset.”   
  
Loki clambered into the backseat, carefully looking around as he moved.  
  
The second man turned back to look at Loki, “Jackson, what’s wrong with you man?”  
  
Loki quickly shook his head, “Nothing. This desert is eerie.”  
  
“You trying to eat a fuckin’ dictionary or some shit?” Loki smirked at the two men as they burst into laughter, but they accepted his silence before turning their focus back to the road and pulling away. Within a short time, the jeep arrived at the base and pulled into a garage.  
  
After Loki took out those two agents, he made his way inside the main building, occasionally meeting opposition, some with greater forces than others. He was a blur of sharp blades, rage, and desperation to find you.  
  
A spray of bullets pelted at Loki, several finally breaking through his shield and a lucky few sinking into his skin. He hissed in pain before throwing up another shield, using the scepter to dispatch the enemy agents, and then gingerly leaning against the wall, gripping his side as a small amount of blood ran out. Angrily rolling his eyes and mentally cursing at you, Loki healed the wound, breathing heavily as he continued his search for you. His anger was quickly being drowned in fear as he worried if he was too late. He wasn’t sure what they were doing to you, but he knew it wouldn’t be good.  
  
Loki limped along, a trail of death and destruction following after him, hand against the wall to steady himself. He shook his head, trying to clear the last traces of grogginess brought on by that cursed sedative.  
  
In the distance, Loki heard a high pitched scream and he straightened up, he recognized that voice. He blasted a hole in the wall, trying to find the most direct route to you. When he stepped through the rubble, he saw a door at the end of a hallway and faintly heard a voice order someone to go check.  
  
Once again, Loki dispatched the two guards that came out before angrily approaching the doorway. His rage was giving him new life, and he was certain you had screamed, certain then that you were in pain. With each step, his certainty that you were being tortured grew, his own rage building at the thought, until he had worked himself nearly into a frenzy.  
  
Barely cognizant of his surroundings, Loki registered a woman’s voice; he saw that she was armed and attacking him, and then she was struggling against his grip as he held her against the wall. Loki couldn’t even register the words he was saying, but from his peripheral vision he saw movement. Glancing over, Loki saw you, and for the first time, he felt true calm; the sensation started to spread through him until he saw that you were shaking and covered in blood.  
  
Loki’s vision hazed over again, completely lost to bloodlust. It felt like he was underwater, then a voice coming from the surface called his name and Loki’s senses came flooding back. He spun around and saw that you were looking at him fearfully, whether of him or of the situation, Loki wasn’t sure.   
  
Then Loki saw the tears in your eyes and all his rage was gone and he wanted nothing more than to hold you and make sure you were never hurt again.  
As he moved to undo the restraints, that familiar doubt crawled back into his mind, that fear, that knowledge that you would only use him, that you would only leave. He willed himself to force you away, turning his attention instead to getting you to safety.  
_  
  
It took you a moment to recover from that revelation, wanting to reorder your thoughts and continue; finally you stopped. You just wanted to be alone with Loki, able to talk to him frankly and in person.  
  
Just as when you relived Loki’s memories, the world around you shifted. While you still stood beside Loki, next to the altar, surrounded by your friends, you simultaneously found yourself in a forest glade, hand still grasped firmly in Loki’s.  
  
“Where are we?” You wondered aloud. “I don’t remember this.”  
  
Loki chuckled, “It’s not a memory.” You looked down at his hand still tightly gripping yours. “Time is hard to explain here, but the potion will run out once we separate.”  
  
“So that’s what’s in the bowl?” Loki nodded, “What’s it called?”  
  
When Loki replied, it sounded like hope, new beginnings; there was no other way to describe what you heard. Loki paused, smirking, “It’s a very old potion, its name must not have been translated to the all language just yet.” You nodded thoughtfully. “It’s very challenging to obtain, that’s why it’s reserved only for marriage, and generally just for royals. An ancient linking of the minds.” Loki beamed at you expectantly.   
  
“I love it, it’s fantastic. Thank you.” You shifted your gaze, and if you focused, you could see the other Avengers standing around you still frozen in time.  
  
“I figured you would like it, or at least I had hoped so.” Loki murmured.  
  
Gently squeezing his hand, you turned to face him. “I was thinking that I might try and mentally relive all of our time together, make sure you knew each moment I grew to love you infinitely more but…” you trailed off, not certain what to say.  
  
Loki chuckled, “I know. It’s not just thoughts that are linked, but emotions as well. There were a few important memories that I needed you to know implicitly and this worked best for it. Attempting to directly force the memories into your mind might have been painful.” Loki grimaced at the thought.  
  
You winced and wrinkled your nose, “Yea, thanks for not doing that.” The two of you fell quiet. “Loki, I just love you, ok? I can’t paint a constellation of stars with my words,” you briefly wondered where that phrase came from; probably a romance novel at some truck stop gas station. “I can’t sing a ballad of your perfection or something like that. I just have my words, and I mean them more sincerely than anything I’ve ever said.” You paused, “I have been tortured, not as much as you certainly, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the thought of losing you. All I can tell you is that I love you and nothing can change that. Immortal or not, I just want to spend the rest of my days with you.” You smiled weakly at him, knowing your eyes were damp. “And I could never ask you to give up your life to be with me, you deserve to live as long as possible, I’m just going to ask that you stay with me for my time, because I intend to stay with you throughout it all.”  
  
Loki studied you, “If there were a way for you to live the same length as me, even though you would be forced to give up humanity, watch our friends die, potentially leave everything behind, would you?”  
  
“On one condition.” Loki’s heart skipped a beat and he eyed you suspiciously. “I would help you with it. Which means I’m being informed of all actions you take, and that nothing you do will be done alone. You won’t hurt yourself in the process of looking, whether it’s through stupid deals or sleepless nights. Got it? I might live a human lifespan and we’ll have to accept it, I don’t want to waste that time chasing false hopes. We’ll accept that I could just die like normal and then spend the rest of my life cherishing our time together, because really all I want is you.” You smiled softly again.  
  
Loki sighed and after studying you for a while, nodded slowly, “I can accept that.”  
  
“Now let’s stop all this sad talking, we have celebrating to do, and like I said, I just want to spend the rest of my life enjoying being with you.” Then you grinned shyly, “And maybe Kailar, after I’ve had you to myself for a while.” Loki’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.  
  
You let go of Loki’s hand, grabbing his face in your hands and kissing him fiercely. The sound of loud hollers and applause filled the air as you were vaguely aware of the illusion shattering around you. You continued to kiss Loki passionately, until you felt his strong hands grip you and gently, yet still firmly, pull you away.  
  
Thor had cleared his throat and you could still hear Tony muttering ‘get some’ under his breath.  
Loki gazed down at you lovingly, but also clearly amused, the faintest hints of a blush on his cheeks. It finally struck you that you were still in the middle of the wedding ceremony, surrounded by your friends, and very much the center of attention. You felt yourself blushing like a tomato.  
  
“Shall we finish the ceremony, darling?” Loki murmured. His eyes were a deep shade of green, barely veiling his own excitement.  
  
“Right.” You coughed and cleared your throat before turning to look back at Thor.  
Loki took your hand again and you noticed a glint of gold, a ring, the same as the one on your own hand.  
  
Thor inclined his head and waited until you and Loki were holding hands again, over the now empty bowl, then he continued, “Then in the name of all present, I pronounce you two husband and wife. You may now embrace and kiss as one.”  
  
“Again.” Tony whispered under his breath. Steve elbowed him in the ribs as Bucky tried to stifle his laughter.  
  
This time Loki turned and kissed you gently and you meekly reciprocated, already embarrassed and not wanting to make another scene. As Loki pulled away, he growled softly in your ear, “Don’t worry love, I promise, we will continue where we left off. I haven’t forgotten your half of the promise.”  
  
You blushed again, but didn’t have time to respond because Natasha was already hugging you tightly and the others were yelling their happiness. You and Loki were soon smothered by the other Avengers as they hugged you tight, happy to share in yours and Loki’s special moment.  
  
Tony was the first to pull away. “Now come on! Let’s go party!”  
  


* * *

  
You were at the wedding reception, sitting beside Loki at the main table as everyone ate. Thor had already made a beautiful toast, as well as Bucky.  
Mariah Hill had already congratulated you and Loki. Nick Fury had even managed to attend for a few minutes, before being rushed away on some national emergency.  
  
Then the music started to play and Loki took your hand, leading you to the dance floor for your first dance as husband and wife. It was your favorite slow song, and you danced with your head against Loki’s shoulder, yet again enjoying his presence. Midway through the song, the other couples joined you and the room came alive with joyous dancing.  
  


* * *

  
“So you got hit by a car because of me?” You asked Loki with an apologetic smile as the two of you continued to dance. Loki grinned at you, inclining his head and humming in amusement. “Sorry.”  
  
“It’s fine, love, no worse than being tossed about by the hulk.”  
  
Bruce passed nearby as Loki spoke and cringed. You saw him mouth sorry but you waved him off with a laugh.  
  
“And was that a berserker rage? I’ve heard about them, was that because of me too?”  
  
Loki shook his head, “No, that was for you, or rather on your behalf. I’ve often wondered if I was able, only the greatest Asgardian warriors can accomplish that, I always figured I wasn’t warrior enough… or perhaps my true lineage.” Loki trailed off, looking away.  
  
You kissed him gently, “Doesn’t matter. You’re perfect as is.” Loki smiled again, stroking your cheek as you continued to move.  
  
The next song began to play and Loki straightened abruptly.

>   
>    
>  _When the days are cold  
>  And the cards all fold  
> And the saints we see  
> Are all made of gold… _

  
  
“It’s called ‘Demons’, I heard it recently and it made me think of us, of me.” He murmured.  
As the two of you danced, Loki sang the lyrics to you, head leaning against yours and singing softly in your ear. His voice was beautiful and he had clearly been practicing. The two of you swayed in place and you felt a pang of sympathy and appreciation for Loki, for your husband.  
  
The song finally ended and you realized your eyes had drifted shut, when you opened them, you could feel tears pricking at the corners. Loki’s eyes slowly opened and he looked down at you, you could see his eyes were damp from tears as well.  
  
“Wanna step outside?” You asked thickly, trying not to break down. Loki nodded silently.  
  
The venue was a large covered pavilion style tent in the middle of grand gardens just a short distance from New York. When you were a decent distance away from the rest of the gathering you finally let the tears fall.  
  
“Thanks a lot dumbass!” You laughed through a light sob, smiling weakly through your tears. Loki had a few stray tears running down his cheeks as you spoke but he looked at you bewildered. “You made me cry.” You carefully wiped the tears away and kissed Loki softly.  
  
A grin slowly broke across Loki’s face but he still managed a slight glare. “You are infuriating, mortal.”  
  
You leaned your head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. Loki held you tight for several minutes, until you slowly became aware of the song playing from inside the tent, faintly audible from your current location.  
  
You started singing along quietly to the song, ‘Arms’.

>   
>  _I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart  
>  But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start  
> You put your arms around me  
> And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go  
> You put your arms around me and I'm home _   
>    
> 

“You put your arms around me and I’m home.” You whispered as it ended. “Should we go back then?”  
  
Loki frowned thoughtfully, then slowly said, “No… I don’t think so.” He grinned and took your hand, then started walking, “Come.” He said with a gentle tug. After the briefest hesitation, you followed him uncertainly.  
  
“Where are we going?” Loki ignored you. “Do the others at least know that we’re ok? Our track record with weddings isn’t the best…” You added quietly.  
  
Loki nodded, glancing over his shoulder briefly to make sure you were still following him well. The two of you came to a thicket of trees and Loki looked around as though searching for something.  
“Loki, what is it?” You demanded, growing faintly annoyed.  
  
Loki turned to face you, a mischievous smile gracing his features. “You’re right.” You raised an eyebrow. “Being with you is home. And I would like to put my arms around you, and so much more.” Loki almost purred. Your eyebrows rose and you felt yourself flushing. Loki pulled you close to him and kissed you fiercely, passionately meshing your lips together. Then he pulled away, breathing heavily, “And we were so rudely interrupted earlier.” His eyes were dark with desire as he stared at you.  
  
“Here?” You asked weakly, as Loki started kissing your throat and jaw.  
  
Once more, he forced himself to pull away from you. “I suppose you’re right.” Loki looked around the thicket again as though searching for something. As he moved, Loki began speaking, “I must confess, after Thor fell in love with something as pathetic as a Midgardian-“ you opened your mouth to speak indignantly. Loki looked at you apologetically but held his hand up, “Let me finish. I wondered what could possibly draw his interest, especially to one as dull as Jane.” He smirked. “But then I met you, and it made sense. I have not met an Asgardian as beautiful or perfect as you.”  
  
You found yourself smirking; after everything, there really was no love lost between you and Jane. “You’re not so bad yourself.”  
  
Seemingly finding what he was looking for, Loki stepped towards you again, hands on both of your arms as he stepped intimately close. “Tell me,” Loki breathed softly into your ear, “do you wish to know what it’s like to be had by a god?”  
  
“I married you, didn’t I?” You responded lasciviously as you gazed up at him through heavily lidded eyes.  
  
Loki hummed softly, closing his eyes and relishing the moment. “Then perhaps I’ll have to show you a surprise.” Loki looked up and you followed his gaze, his already strong grip tightened on your arms. You winced at the pressure, and just as you were thinking to speak, a burst of light came flooding down on you and you were flying.  
  
Starlight streaked around you as you moved impossibly fast, rushing through space and worlds. The light became overwhelmingly intense and you were forced to shut your eyes. From behind your eyelids you could feel more bursts of flashing lights and feel the air rushing around you. Then suddenly you were still.  
  
From just behind you, you heard Loki whispering softly into your ear, “Open your eyes, love.”  
You complied and found yourself gasping. You were standing on a balcony overlooking a golden city, and beyond its edges you could see an ocean. Looking even farther, you could see the ocean ended and seemed to connect with the stars.  
  
You exhaled softly, “Where are we?” Though you already knew.  
  
“Welcome to Asgard.” You looked back at Loki and saw him gazing down at you, eagerly anticipating your reaction. You felt awestruck and completely blown away by the splendor of this city. Loki must have liked your response for you could see the admiration and love evident in his features, causing your smile to widen.  
  
Then you looked closer at his eyes, they were the darkest green and filled with lust. You looked past him to the room the balcony stood from. Your eyes widened as you took in the green and golden furnishings. There was a massive bed with a green canopy, supported by golden pillars. The bed itself was covered with the deepest green blankets that looked velvety soft.  
  
You walked towards the bed, awed into speechlessness. “Loki…” You finally breathed out slowly. You sat down on the bed and gently slid your hand across the fabric; it was so soft to the touch. “To be pleasured by a king? And a god no less? I can’t think of any better gifts.” You murmured softly.  
  
Loki walked over to you and raised your chin up with two fingers, and placed a soft kiss on your lips. “And to be your first?” He questioned and you smirked ruefully, “Then let’s wait no longer.” Loki growled, reaching for your dress.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I felt like keeping it relatively teen so no actual smut, I've written plenty of other stories with smut if you're inclined to that sort of thing though (casual self advertisement haha) but yea, more fluffy goodness. A bunch of much needed side plot with just all the fluff, don't worry, the story will go back to regularly scheduled angst soon enough!

You hummed softly, you forgot how many times Loki had already ravaged you so far this night.  
  
Loki lay beside you, “What is it love?”  
  
“I’ve heard it’s possible to fuck someone-“  
  
“Such language.” Loki admonished, interrupting you.  
  
You ignored him, “that someone could do so until they couldn’t walk straight.”  
  
You heard Loki chuckle wickedly. “Oh yes.”  
  
“Are you man enough for that?”  
  
Loki rolled over, straddling your hips and looked down at you. His arms were on either side of your head as he studied you. His eyes darkened with lust. “You dare challenge your king?”  
  
“You’re not my king, dumbass.” You scoffed.  
  
Loki smirked at you. “I’ll have you kneel for me before the night is over.”  
  
“I’d like to see you try.”  
  
He raised an eyebrow at you curiously. “You dare challenge me twice?”  
  
This time you grinned wickedly. “Would you love me any other way?”  
  
Loki tilted his head to the side and smiled softly. “No, I suppose not.” He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed out softly. “I have so looked forward to this moment.” You chuckled and Loki reopened his eyes to gaze down at you. “It’s been quite some time since I’ve been intimate with someone. I grew bored of the many harpies throwing themselves at me with the clear intention of gaining power. But you…” He chuckled. “You have quite rekindled my desire.”  
  
You smirked at him, “I’m flattered.”  
  
“I do believe I will never get enough of you, and I long to make up so much wasted time, denying how much I’ve wanted to be with you.” You bit your lip, before sliding your nails along his smooth forearms, stroking him softly. After a moment, Loki smirked again and his eyes darkened. “Now then.” He growled. With a lazy wave of his hand, you saw the familiar green glow of his magic.  
  
You looked around uncertain of what he did. When you couldn’t see anything, you moved to sit up but stopped when you felt a tugging at your wrists. There was a green glow surrounding them and you found that you couldn’t lift your arms from the bed. “Loki…?” You asked slowly.  
  
He grinned at you. “Yes darling?” He murmured before slowly trailing kisses down your jaw.  
  
You moaned into the kisses, back arching as you tried to get closer to him. Tugging at your arms again uselessly you whined softly, “That’s cheating.”  
  
You felt Loki smirk into your skin. “I’m the god of mischief, love, there’s no way I’d play fair.”  
  


* * *

 

* * *

  
“That was amazing…” You panted out, stroking Loki’s face, your own body weak from exertion.  
  
Loki kissed your wrist before lying in front of you and searching your face. You brushed his long black hair away and smiled.  
  
“You are too perfect, my love.” Loki said as he stroked your side.  
  
“You’re not so bad yourself,” You muttered with a lazy grin.  
  
“I did warn you not to tease me.”  
  
“I’ll have to keep that in mind for next time, my king.” You smirked.  
  
Loki held you closer before draping the blanket over the two of you. You both lay there for a time, holding each other gently and reveling in the other’s presence.  
  
After a while, just as you were drifting off to sleep, you heard Loki murmur, “Why me?”  
  
“Hmm?” You asked, not opening your eyes.  
  
“Why me? Of all the mortals out there, and everyone else? Why a monster?”  
  
Opening your eyes and propping yourself up on one arm, you searched his face before replying, “Because I love you.” You smiled. “And you love me. Nothing in our histories can change that. You are dearer to me than anything or anyone I know.” You could see the dampness at the corner of his eyes. He looked at you doubtfully. “Seriously, how many times do I have to tell you this before you believe me?” You paused, then smirked, “dumbass.” Loki’s eyes narrowed as he glared at you. “What, do you want me to walk naked down these halls and tell everyone?”  
  
Loki stared at you ruefully, “Perhaps…”  
  
You moved to roll over but he stopped you. He gazed at you puzzled. “You’re going to stop me?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. “What will it take for you to believe that I love you, all of you?”  
  
Loki’s mouth opened and closed as he realized he was speechless. Finally he looked down. “I…”  
  
“Should I have you in your true form?” Loki’s eyes widened as you said that. “Not tonight granted… Tomorrow? If that will make you believe me, consider it done.”  
  
Loki shook his head, “Frost giants, Jotuns, they are vicious-"  
  
“Yes, vicious monsters and destroy shit.” You cut him off, startling him. “But nothing. I love you and trust you completely. There is nothing else to it.”  
  
“Thank you.” Loki finally murmured, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You stroked his hair and smiled. “Thank you (Y/n), my love, truly.”  
  
You could hear the smile in his voice as you held him close, “You’re welcome. Never doubt that I love you.”  
  
He pulled away and searched your eyes. “I know I am the god of lies, but I love you, you have to believe-"  
  
You placed a finger to his lips, “I do. I believe you. That’s why I just married you.”  
  
Loki held you close, his strong arms wrapped fiercely and protectively around you. “Good night.” He murmured and placed a kiss on your hair.  
  
“Good night sweet prince.” You replied.  
  


* * *

  
When you woke up, every part of you was stiff. You rolled over to look at Loki, no, your husband, and groaned. Loki’s bright green eyes opened and he looked at you.  
You scrunched your eyes shut, shaking your head slightly.  
Loki hesitantly lifted the blankets and looked down at your hips, the dark bruises already very noticeable and only likely to get worse.  
  
He grimaced before looking at you with a pained expression. “I’m so sorry.” He mumbled quietly.  
  
You chuckled then sighed, “I did ask you to.”  
  
“We’ve been through so much, and your wit and tongue continue to challenge me; it’s so easy to forget you’re human sometimes.” Loki curled you into his side. Very gently, he started to rub his cool fingers over the bruises.  
  
You sighed contentedly. “That feels nice.”  
  
A soft knocking at the door caused Loki to stop. “Who is it?” He growled, loud enough for your visitor to hear.  
  
“Loki.” Thor’s voice called through the door.  
  
Loki sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just a second.” He stood up, pulling the blankets higher over you. Loki looked around before finding his trousers and pulling them on. You closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep.  
  
Loki opened the door a crack and looked out at Thor. “Good morning brother.” Loki murmured quietly, still only in his trousers.  
  
Thor couldn’t help but smile at his very tired looking brother. Then his face straightened and he looked at Loki with grim determination. “Father wishes to speak with you.” Thor said slowly and quietly.  
  
Loki’s eyes flashed. “I have no desire to speak with that-“  
  
Thor held up his hand. “Peace, brother. It is merely to meet (Y/n). He wishes no quarrel. I will be there also.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly and sighed. He glanced back at your still form. “Were it not for her, I’m not sure I would be willing to speak with him.”  
  
“It seems she’s helped change you for the better.”  
  
Loki cast a rueful look at Thor. “Yes, and perhaps me being tired will help this meeting go through more peacefully.”  
  
Thor grinned before resting his hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Thank you brother, truly. You have worked so hard and have long since redeemed yourself in my eyes. And know that I have never stopped loving you.”  
Loki rolled his eyes, though he was secretly pleased. Thor knew this, but didn’t say anything.  
Then Thor continued, “Maids will be here shortly. They will bring your wife a suitable dress for the occasion, as well as breakfast. I have a feeling that she won’t want to eat in the dining hall this morning.”  
  
Loki grinned deviously, “Thank you brother.”  
  
Thor inclined his head before smiling and walking away.  
  
Loki returned to the bed and sat down beside you, gently stroking your side.  
  
You opened your eyes and looked up at him. Then you frowned, “Did you answer the door like that?”  
  
“Yes?” The inflection in his voice made it sound like a question.  
  
You smirked before running the pads of your fingers down his chest. Loki looked down at your hand in confusion. Then he noticed the fingernail marks and love bites. He glanced across the room at his mirror and noticed the fading scratches on his back. A grin slowly spread across his face as he started to chuckle. After a second it turned into a full laugh. He looked down at his arms and was amused to find more nail marks.  
  
“I see you made a god bleed.”  
  
You rolled your eyes and shoved his bare chest. “You’re still not a god, dumbass.” Then you reached up and gently stroked his cheek, “But I’ll agree that you can be my king.”  
  
Loki pressed his soft lips to yours, “As long as you are my queen, I have no want for a throne.”  
Loki broke the kiss before pulling you to a sitting position. You wrinkled your nose in discomfort. Then he tossed you a green silk robe before stepping away curiously. After pulling it around yourself, you moved to stand up. Your tired legs and bruised hips protested vehemently. You grit your teeth, not wanting Loki to win.  
  
Finally you gave in and fell back onto the bed.  
  
Loki grinned triumphantly. “You doubted me.”  
  
Sticking your tongue out at him, you were about to respond when there was a knocking at the door.  
Loki tossed his shirt on before hurrying to answer it.  
  
“My lord,” two maids stood at the door, both bowing low. One held a tray of food and the other an emerald green dress.  
  
Loki smiled at them, “Come in.” He stepped to the side as he spoke. You couldn’t help but notice the maids’ startled expression. They seemed unused to Loki’s calm demeanor.  
  
After setting their items down, they left to the door. “If you need anything, you know how to contact us.” They both bowed low before hurriedly walking away.  
  
You moved to stand up again but Loki was already crossing the room, breakfast tray in hand. He scooted you over on the bed before sitting opposite you cross legged. You followed suit before gazing down at the many delicacies, some you recognized, but even more that were completely unfamiliar.  
  
“You’ve shown me much of your strange Midgardian cuisine, it’s time that I returned the favor and showed you Asgardian food. Though I’m most disappointed to admit we have nothing similar to chocolate and much to Thor’s dismay, no Poptarts.”  
  
You laughed, “Well I’m excited to try it.”  
  
There were fruits of all sizes and shapes, sweet breads, and some foods that were prepared in a style that you couldn’t find an earth food to compare it to.  
  
“Agent, you are making the most enticing sounds.” Loki said as you took a bite of a particularly succulent food.  
  
You felt yourself blush, “Shut up.” You took another bite and failed to keep your reaction quiet.  
  
Loki grinned, “I would love to continue where we left off last night, but I suppose we have duties to attend. And I know for certain, someone will come looking if we’re late.”  
  
You sighed, “Alright, let me put on my clothes,” you stopped, realizing that you only had your wedding dress. Loki handed you the green and gold gown that you watched the maids bring in earlier. The emerald colors fought desperately to match the shade of Loki’s eyes but nothing could truly compete with their splendor.  
“A dress? Do I have to?”  
  
Loki nodded apologetically. You sighed and started to pull it on, finally having made it to your feet. “Asgardian women all wear dresses. It’s also customary to dress in their husband’s colors.”  
  
You rolled your eyes. “Well it’s a good thing I like green.” After you pulled on the surprisingly comfortable gown, you looked around. “Loki,” You frowned, “what am I supposed to wear underneath?”  
  
Loki smirked, “Consider it my preemptive reward for good behavior.”  
  
You rolled your eyes. “You’re incorrigible.”  
  
He nodded, “I am indeed. Shall we go?” He held his arm out to you so you could lean on it. He was back in his regular leather and metal attire.  
  
Loki led the way to the throne room, before stopping and breathing in deeply. He closed his eyes and you squeezed his arm gently. When he opened his eyes and looked down at you to speak, his voice was sad. “The last time I was here was after I died on Svartalfheim. The time before that, I was sentenced to life in prison.”  
  
You squeezed his arm again and rested your head against his shoulder. “Well this time you’re here with me and I’ll be damned if I let anything happen to you.”  
  
Loki looked down at you, placing his hands on your shoulders, and gazed at you intensely. He searched your eyes, willing you to appreciate his words. “I won’t, I can’t, let anything happen to you. I don’t know what the Allfather wants, but I will let no harm come to you. I swear.”  
  
You smiled. “You can easily snap my neck from here you know.” Loki looked at you in pain. Then your face softened, “And I know, I trust you completely. Let’s go see what he wants.”  
  
You pulled away from Loki before pushing the two giant doors. They were heavier than you had imagined and it took a decent amount of strength to open.  
When the open doors, they revealed Odin sitting on his throne, spear in hand, and Thor standing to the side conversing quietly.  
  
You reached back for Loki’s hand before leading him down the aisle. “King Odin!” You called. You didn’t know the protocol at all and also didn’t care. You had little in the way of respect for the man who caused the love of your life so much pain.  
Odin stared down at you annoyed. Loki gripped your hand tightly and you knew that he was looking at you, pained by your brazenness.  
  
“Lady (Y/n).” Odin answered, his strong voice echoing through the hall.  
  
You decided a slight bend at the waist would be good, even if you didn’t like him, you could still respect his authority as king. There was a flicker of amusement in Thor’s eyes, even though he maintained a straight face.  
  
“So,” You said slowly, looking around suddenly nervous. For all your bravado, Odin’s gaze made you feel very small. Also, the large throne and the massive ravens on either side of him made you want to shrink back at their stares.  
  
“Welcome to Asgard. And to you Loki, welcome back.”  
Loki stood beside you and nodded stiffly. He hadn’t bowed, though he looked at Odin with unease. He had no concern for his own personal safety, but he was desperate to protect you.  
Odin continued, his voice carrying across the hall, “Thor and Heimdall have kept me well informed of your deeds on Midgard. I have reason to believe you have atoned for the crimes you committed.”  
  
“Tortured into committing.” You muttered.  
  
Odin glared at you. Loki stood beside you, desperately fighting back the urge to cover his face with his palm in exasperation.  
“Your wife’s tongue is as sharp as yours.” Odin commented.  
  
Loki nodded, this time he seemed amused and smiled. “Yes, she is quite interesting that way. And yet, she has never once shown me anything but kindness since the day I met her; particularly when my actions to her made sure I was not due any.”  
  
“Someone had to show him kindness since you sure as hell didn’t.” You muttered quieter still. Loki rolled his eyes, only just able to prevent himself from facepalming.  
  
Odin ignored your comment before studying the two of you carefully. “I once said that only war, ruin and death follow you everywhere you go.” Loki nodded. “Yet recently, it seems some of your chaos has been quelled.”  
  
Loki shrugged. “Perhaps.”  
  
You folded your arms impatiently, wondering where Odin was going with this.  
  
A few moments of intense silence followed, the tension in the room was palpable.  
  
Thor cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him sharply. “Father.”  
  
Another long and uncomfortable silence followed.  
  
Finally Odin spoke, “I was not there to approve your marriage as I did for Thor and Jane.”  
  
“I hardly think you’d care to.” Loki sneered.  
  
“Brother, please.” Thor spoke quietly.  
  
You remained silent, unsure where this exchange was going.  
  
Odin nodded, “Would it have mattered to you if you didn’t have my approval?”  
  
“Not in the least.” Loki replied coolly.  
  
“Regardless of how you feel towards me,” Odin sighed, “you are still a prince of Asgard.” Loki seemed to recoil in surprise. “As such it is my duty as king to ensure you marry properly.”  
You could feel fury starting to build in Loki, one you shared. Your mouth fell open as Odin held up a hand, willing the two of you to let him finish. Taking the initiative, you clasped Loki’s hand in yours, causing him to glance down. Only Thor saw the flicker of relief in Odin’s face.  
“That is why I’m officially approving your marriage.”  
  
Loki’s mouth dropped open, completely at a loss for words.  
  
A sarcastic smile spread across your face, “Really?”  
  
Odin nodded, “Though you are mortal, I have heard much of your deeds and I believe you are worthy of this title. And of Loki.” He added.  
  
Your mouth dropped open again and you looked back at Loki.  
  
Very slowly and uncertainly, Loki spoke, “Thank you.” He managed a stiff bend at the waist that could be mistaken for a bow.  
  
“Well I guess we’re getting married then!” You grinned.  
  
Odin looked between the two of you puzzled. “I was told you already were.”  
  
“Well now that  _you_  said it’s ok,” Loki’s hand covered your mouth, cutting off your sarcastic remarks, as he pulled you against his side.  
Loki smirked and bit back his laughter.  
  
“Perhaps you should take your wife for a stroll through the gardens?” Thor offered.  
  
Loki nodded and dragged you away. The throne room doors shut behind you, though your voice carried down the hall. “What, an earth wedding not good enough for him? He has to have the final say so? He locked you in prison and now suddenly he cares about your wellbeing?” You growled angrily as Loki continued to drag you away.  
  
“I did kill a few people.” Loki murmured, though clearly amused by your actions.  
  
“Oh like that old rust bucket hasn’t?” You growled. “Who’s he to decide who you can marry?”  
  
“He is the king here darling.”  
  
“Since when do you take his side?”  
  
“You’re asking questions, I’m answering them.” He responded, though his eyes were alight with happiness and glee.  
  
You fell silent and offered a smug half smile before gently pressing your lips to Loki’s cheek. “What did he say about gardens?” You asked.  
  
“I’m trying to show you them, if you’ll stop struggling.” Loki muttered, still dragging you down the hallway.  
  
You allowed yourself to be led outside where you gasped at the sight before you. There were flowers of every shape, size, and color you had ever seen, and many more that you had not even imagined before. There were almost as many trees. Amongst it all were statues depicting great people that you didn’t recognize and animals of species you couldn’t even dream of. There were ponds scattered about, all interconnected by small babbling creek beds.  
  
“Wow…” You whispered through hushed breath. “It’s beautiful.”  
  
Loki smiled down at you, wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling your neck from behind. You leaned into his touch. “Not as beautiful as you, my perfect wife.” Loki murmured in your ear, placing soft kisses as he spoke.  
  
“Loki, my husband.” You murmured back, “Not sure I’ll get tired of hearing that ever.”  
  
He continued placing soft kisses at the base of your neck. “And you, my beautiful darling wife.” Loki positively glowed with happiness.  
  
He started pointing out the various plants and explaining who the statues were of. As he spoke, the two of you wound your way through the many paths snaking amongst the massive gardens.  
“And this statue,” Loki was saying when he heard voices calling his name.  
  
“Loki!” A blond haired man, whom you recognized as Fandral, shouted as he jogged towards you. He was followed by a stout redhead, a dark haired man, and a tall dark haired woman in armour.  
The four came to a stop. The three men bowed low and the woman inclined her head.  
  
“Is this the lucky lady?” The redhead asked through his beard. He had a great booming laugh and a friendly smile.  
  
You grinned and offered a timid wave.  
  
“Yes.” Loki said hesitantly, eyeing them for some sign of reaction. “This is my wife, (Y/n).”  
  
You stepped away from him and held your hand out to shake.  
  
The blond man took your hand and placed on it a soft kiss. “Lady (Y/n), I am Fandral of the warriors three. I believe we have met.”  
  
You grinned, “You were at the wedding.”  
  
He winked at you then continued, “That is Volstagg,” the redhead smiled and inclined his head, “and Hogunn.” The dark haired man nodded, “the other warriors.”  
  
“And I am Lady Sif.” The dark haired woman said, grasping your hand firmly. “A pleasure to finally meet you in person.” She offered a not unfriendly smile.  
  
You beamed at the group of people. “Fantastic! It’s great to finally meet the others. I’ve heard a lot about you.”  
  
Fandral raised his eyebrow in amusement.  
  
It was Volstagg who responded, “Well, we’ve heard much about you from Heimdall.”  
  
“I never really got to talk to you, even though I saw you at Thor’s wedding as well. We all had to meet you ourselves; we wanted to make sure you were right in the head.” Fandral grinned. Loki scowled. You frowned at them, to which Fandral winked, “Only teasing you two.” He added with a toothy smile. “Loki is one of our oldest friends. We grew up with him and Thor.”  
  
“Yes, and it’s nice to see you.” Loki drawled, though not looking particularly pleased.  
  
Sif glared at him. “If you need anything, know that we are here and will protect you from any dangers.” She looked at Loki pointedly, before returning her gaze to you and smiling.  
  
“Well, as long as Loki’s here, I’m sure I’ll be fine. Though thanks, really.” You assured them with a smile as you wrapped your arm around Loki’s waist. You could sense Loki smirking. Sif rolled her eyes as Thor walked over.  
  
“My friends! Hello!” Thor called, embracing everyone one by one. He lingered with you to study your expression.  
  
“Hello Thor.” Sif smiled. There were various other quiet greetings.  
  
“Oh fine! Say it!” Loki hissed, glaring at the four warriors. “You don’t trust me, you think I’ve mind controlled this beautiful woman, and you still haven’t forgiven me.”  
  
There was silence, save the babbling creek that seemed to mock the heavy mood.  
  
“Do you blame us?” Sif asked, her eyes dark.  
  
Loki glared back at her, then he glanced down at you and looked away. “Not particularly.” He muttered bitterly.  
  
You frowned, “Well, I’m not mind controlled.” You muttered slowly and quietly.  
  
Thor offered you a weak smile. “Peace friends, please. You’ve talked with Heimdall, you know how things have changed.”  
  
Fandral placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “All is well here.” He beamed.  
  
Hogunn muttered quietly, “We have seen the work he’s done to make up for what happened.”  
  
Thor nodded encouragingly.  
  
Volstagg sighed, “And I suppose you’re giving us the chance to meet such a lovely lady, we’ve also heard much about you from Heimdall.” You grinned at him.  
  
Everyone turned to look at Sif. “Fine!” She threw her arms up angrily. “Yes Loki, welcome back. And it’s good to see you too Thor.” She yelled before stalking off.  
  
“I think that’s the closest you’ll get to an ‘I forgive you’ for now Loki.” Fandral muttered.  
  
“I’ll go after her.” Thor said before hurrying off.  
  
Loki lowered his voice and spoke quietly so only you could hear, “She’s not over Thor being with his mortal yet.”  
  
“Oh.” You breathed back, face softening. Then you smiled and returned your attention to the remaining men. “Well Volstagg, you look like you know how to have a good time, any ideas?”  
  
Volstagg’s eyes widened then he grinned. “Does the lady drink then?”  
  
“I haven’t had anything from Asgard but I’m totally down to try!” You replied enthusiastically.  
  
“Perhaps that is not such a good idea.” Hogunn murmured quietly, after you started confidently walking off in the wrong direction. Volstagg caught up with you and led you towards the dining hall.  
  
Loki covered his face with his palm and groaned, “She’s terrible.”  
  
Fandral’s smile widened, “Now I see why she picked you. Come! Let’s see how the lady handles her ale.” He grabbed Loki’s arm and dragged him along. Hogunn followed after, one of his rare small smiles appeared at the corner of his mouth.  
  


* * *

  
You downed the heavy mug. “Another!” You called, tossing it behind you. Laughter and cheers erupted around the room. You swayed briefly in your seat. Volstagg had insisted on only giving you weak ales but they were still strong enough to affect you instantly.  
  
Loki was leaning back in his chair, watching you in amusement. He was enjoying a glass of mulled wine, a light drink by Asgardian standards.  
  
“You’re not going to get drunk with the rest?” Hogunn asked.  
  
Loki shook his head still smiling. “And miss her first time having real alcohol? I wouldn’t dream of it. I’m sure tomorrow I can make up for it.”  
  
Fandral walked over and clapped Loki on the shoulder while you laughed with some of the guards who were off duty. “It’s good to have you back, my friend.”  
  
Loki nodded, “It’s good to see you as well.”  
  
“I quite approve of your choice.” Fandral grinned with a small laugh.  
  
“She chose me.” Loki replied, smiling softly.  
  
He straightened up suddenly as you fell over, dropping your mug to the ground. Everyone fell silent, some moving towards you to offer help and others, farther away, standing up to get a better look.  
  
You popped back up into your chair and grinned drunkenly. “Another!”  
  
Laughter shook the room as everyone echoed you, taking a drink. Your vision was fuzzy and you couldn’t think straight, but the food was fantastic.  
  
“And my sword plunged into the mighty beast! Felling it in one blow!” Cheers rang out as the warrior stood, boasting proudly.  
  
“What of you, my lady, as wife of the trickster, surely you have had some great feats?”  
  
You hesitated, “We don’t have much in the way of monsters to kill on earth, uh, Midgard, but I damn near fought off an army once.” The room quieted down as everyone looked at you, someone urged you to continue. You glanced across the table and Loki raised an eyebrow curiously. “Well it was me and Loki,” you started slowly. Everyone cast looks at Loki, before returning their attention to you, wondering how the story would go. “I got tricked into trying to take out an entire enemy base. Loki came after me. But so here we were, arrived in the coldest of the cold winter, mountains greater than any and we sneak inside.” You told the story of yours and Loki’s assault on Hydra’s base in the cold northern wastes of Russia. Any time you mentioned Loki, people would glance over at him.  
  
“That really happened?” Fandral whispered.  
  
Loki frowned, but he nodded, “It did. We had erred badly a couple of weeks previously, ended up involving a great deal of pain. I was determined to not let that happen again.”  
  
“So the explosives went off, everything went to hell, and I started falling. I landed in a pile of snow, beat to shit, and I wake up to some guy holding a gun to my face. Then there was a loud crack and who should come running but Loki. And then I passed out.” You finished. Everyone silently turned to stare at Loki, waiting for him to add something. Your mind had managed to sober up for the story but you were struck by Loki’s failure to add anything in as you spoke. You figured being the silver tongue he’d be good at storytelling.  
  
Loki shifted uncomfortably before masking his emotions and saying, “That was it, Thor and I carried you out, brought you back to be healed, and then everything else you know.” Everyone nodded quietly. Loki forced a smile. “And that’s how the daring agent (Y/n) brought about the end of one of Midgard’s greatest foes.” Cheers erupted around the hall. “To (Y/n)!” Loki yelled, raising his glass in a toast.  
  
“To (Y/n)!” Everyone roared in unison, people clapping their hands and stomping their feet.  
  
Loki watched Fandral disappear into one of the side chambers, a maiden on each arm. He rolled his eyes after Fandral glanced back with a wink.  
  
You stumbled over to Loki who caught you and pulled you onto his lap. “A marvelous rendition. Perhaps you should take up storytelling as a hobby?” He murmured in your ear.  
  
You giggled, leaning against him, allowing Loki to wrap his arms around you. “But really, I’ve been meaning to ask. When I landed in the snow, and that guy was about to shoot me, Mjolnir knocked him away but you showed up first…” you trailed off slowly, leaning into Loki and feeling drowsy.  
  
Loki kissed you gently, “That’s a story for another time, love.” He murmured quietly, “Let’s get you to bed, do you know how much you drank?”  
  
“’M fine.” You slurred. You reached for your drink again.  
  
Loki moved it away, chuckling as he did so. He pulled your arm over his shoulder and helped you stumble into the hallway, once you were out of sight of the others, he picked you up and carried you bridal style back to your shared chambers.  
  
You got back to the room and passed out on the bed. Loki shook his head, pulling the dress over your head so as not to disturb you. He undressed as well, then crawled into bed and pulled you to his side. Instinctively, you curled into him, nuzzling against his chest.  
  
“Good night… Loki,” You slurred, “love you.”  
  
“I love you too darling.” He kissed your head and the two of you quickly fell asleep.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've spent a bit of time wondering what the Asgardian citizens would have thought happened. The coronation ceremony got cancelled (for reasons, would you really want to tell everyone that such a severe security breach happened?), Thor gets banished, Odin falls into the Odinsleep which is relatively normal it seems, then suddenly the Bifrost is nearly destroying Jotunheim, then Thor is back (oh and Loki is dead). Time passes, then does Odin tell his people that Loki is attacking Midgard? Do the Asgardians even care? It's not like Asgardians had spent much time actually involved with Midgard recently (since that war in the early 400 A.D.) And now Loki is back and in prison? It's not like Loki even broke any rules (why would the Asgardians care if Midgardians were killed by a prince?) but Odin puts him in prison so clearly that's not good.
> 
> There has to be some ruckus when a Midgardian (Jane) shows up for the first time in possibly ever, especially because Malekith attacks Asgard almost immediately afterward, Frigga dies, and the Aether awakens. The people probably noticed the giant red swirling death cloud
> 
> Then my timeline Loki and Thor both come back and it's cool.
> 
> I just don't know...

Waking up, still curled against Loki, you smiled. At first. Then the pain of your hangover registered and you moaned. You could feel Loki chuckling.  
“Did you drink too much?” He murmured quietly. You answered with another moan and he laughed again. You felt his fingers grow colder as he softly stroked your hair. The cold digits trailing along your scalp felt heavenly.  Only moments later, there was a knocking at the door and you curled further into Loki’s bare chest.  
  
Loki pried you off of him before answering the door.  
  
There were hushed voices and Loki came back carrying a tray of food and a purple fizzling drink. “Drink this.” He handed the purple beverage to you. You looked at him uncertainly before taking a cautious sip. It was sour and burned your tongue. “It helps with the hangover.” Your eyes widened and you downed it in one gulp.  
  
Seconds later, you could feel the fizz from your head to your toes. “That’s great! What is that?”  
  
“None of the ingredients are on Midgard, if that’s what you’re hoping for. There’s also some spell work involved, nothing too complex though.” He added.  
  
You hummed before reaching for some of the food. “So what are we going to do today?”  
  
Loki sat down opposite you, cross legged, “Perhaps we should go into one of the local villages?”  
  
You nodded, “Don’t think I forgot my promise to you.” You said around the sweet roll you were eating. “Getting me drunk was a clever delay.”  
  
Loki smirked but he held his hands up defensively. “I did no such thing, that was your idea.”  
  
“Well, next time around, Jotun or nothing.”  
  
Loki glared at you. “That’s not funny.”  
  
“I’m being serious. I love you and I will be damned if you don’t believe me.”  
  
Loki growled before looking away. You flicked his nose and giggled quietly.  
  
He looked down at you with a scowl, though it quickly faded to an amused smirk. “I can easily snap your neck from here.”  
You pushed the tray over before tackling him, running your fingers along his sides to tickle him.  
“Nice try, I’m not-“ Loki burst out laughing and you sat on him, tickling him mercilessly until he was in tears. “Enough!” He tackled you over and started tickling you, easily pinning you down as he sat straddling your hips.  
  
You were crying and gasping for breath through your laughter, “Stop it! Stop it! I give in!”  
  
Loki stopped tickling you and moved to kissing your jaw and neck. He pawed your breasts over your robe causing you to let out a soft moan. You reached up, lacing your fingers through his hair and pulling him close, letting your mouths mesh together in a passionate kiss.  
  
All too soon, he pulled away. “As much as I’d like to spend all day here…” Loki murmured quietly.  
  
You sighed, “Alright.” Loki stood up, pulling you to your feet.  
  
A short while later and Loki was leaning against the door, watching you get dressed.  
  
“I hate these damned dresses!” You yelled angrily, swishing the long skirt.  
  
Loki frowned thoughtfully, “There are riding clothes I believe…”  
  
Another short while later and you were dressed in tight black pants, knee high riding boots and a riding shirt. All green with accents of gold, naturally.  
  
Loki snickered when you muttered about it under your breath. “They suit you marvelously, love.” Then he grasped your hand, placing a soft kiss on it, and dragged you out through the hallways and out to the stables.  
  
When you arrived at the large building, two of the stable boys approached you and Loki nervously. “My lord, my lady,” they bowed, “how can we help?”  
  
You smiled at them. They glanced warily at Loki but he remained passive. Part of you wanted to tease him about it, but you also realized this was a feudal society and the lack of respect Loki had grown up with deterred you from altering his carefully maintained reputation.  
  
“We need a horse, or two?” You glanced back at Loki.  
  
“Just mine.” The boys hurried off. Loki rested his hands on your waist and pulled you close to him. He leaned his forehead against yours, “Thank you.” He breathed softly, having sensed your thought process.  
  
You nodded, “I’ll tease you when it’s just the two of us.” You grinned.  
  
Loki smirked at you, “And you can be certain I’ll react in kind.”  
  
The boys returned leading a great white steed. The horse whinnied when it saw Loki. It nuzzled its head against Loki and he stroked its nose.  
“Hey girl.” He murmured softly. “I’ve missed you too.” The horse tossed its head. “This is (Y/n).” The horse stared at you. You held your hand up and waved awkwardly. “Stop that.” Loki growled. You frowned timidly. The horse rolled its eyes before lightly pawing the ground. Loki scowled then rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” He muttered quietly. The horse snorted before tossing its head and moving to the side so you could crawl on. Loki easily slid onto the saddle in front of you and you wrapped your arms around his waist.  
  
“You can understand horses?”  
  
“Most animals.” Loki nodded. He turned the horse and you started off at a slow trot.  
  
“What’d she say?”  
  
You couldn’t see Loki’s blush. “She likes you.”  
  
“Oh, that’s nice.” You paused, settling yourself into the saddle. “That seemed like a really long conversation to say she likes me.”  
  
Loki shrugged, “She was asking about you. She curses a lot, could challenge you.” You smacked his head. “Ow! I was just repeating her words.” He rubbed the spot gingerly. The horse kicked off into a full gallop and you soon arrived on the outskirts of a nearby town.  
  
Loki pulled to a stop before sliding off the saddle and holding his hand up to help you down. He set the reins in the saddle and started to lead you away.  
  
“Should she be tied to something or have a lock for security? Somehow?” You asked, glancing back over your shoulder as Loki led you away.  
  
He shrugged, “The royal crest will keep away petty thieves and her training will keep away more serious criminals.”  
  
Loki grabbed your hand and led you away from the busy thoroughfare. The village was large but after your time in the palace, it just didn’t hold the same splendor. You thought of New York that you had only been at three days ago. How did it seem so long?  
  
“Asgard is beautiful.” You mused.  
  
Loki grinned, “This is where Thor and I grew up. As soon as we were old enough to ride and thus sneak out of the palace, we came here to play.” He pulled you into a dark crowded tavern filled with loud and happy people, all chatting amicably.  
  
The two of you sat in a far corner, drinking dandelion ale from worn old mugs.  
  
“On the occasions where Thor and I weren’t together, I would spend a great deal of time here. You can learn all sorts of gossip about the kingdom.”  
  
You looked around fascinated, studying all the diverse people. This village was near enough to the palace to get many travelers but not too close to have much nobility. “I had regular schooling, everything was pretty boring for that.” You muttered, trying your best to not gawk like a tourist.  
  
“I liked to add to the gossip. Once I started to learn magic and could shift my appearance, it was much easier. Otherwise I had to rely on simpler disguises and throwing my voice.” Loki looked smug, his green eyes dancing with mischief. “I made sure my reputation was well worn.”  
  
“How so?”  
  
He shrugged, “Whatever I wanted. Generally that I was to be feared.” He glanced down, and though he didn’t finish the sentence, you could practically hear him say, ‘Feared, if not respected.’  
You rested your hand on his arm, rubbing it with your thumb. You thought of the clear comparisons people would have made between the princes. Thor was obviously the more favored of the two, but his love for Loki would have prevented him from noticing any faults in his younger brother. This accidental blindness would have been made even stronger since Loki would have been desperately hiding any of his own perceived faults from Thor. Thor gained his reputation through feats of great strength, and Loki ensured his was a shadow and impossible to know.  
  
You’d always loved cleverness and intelligence over sheer strength. Leaning into Loki, you smiled softly. Being here in his home was a larger look into his life than you could have ever dreamed.  
Loki looked down at you and smiled, though his attention remained split between you and the dim room.  
  
The door banged open loudly and many people fell silent as they glanced to see who was in the entryway.  
“Jacobir.” Loki muttered under his breath.  
  
The man who had entered the room was tall and had long copper hair with a flat face. He scanned the room, looking at each of the tables in turn. “There’s a horse with the royal crest outside!” He announced. There were quiet whispers around the room; Odin’s was a fair rule so there was no real reason for upset. “And it’s not the Allfather, and Thor makes a ruckus wherever he goes…” Jacobir trailed off.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, “He was quite bothersome to me when I was young. Mother begged us not to fight with others, she always could tell when I used magic.”  
  
You sat up straighter and glared at Jacobir.  
  
“Which leaves the disgraced Loki.” Jacobir finished, finally having spotted Loki amongst the crowd.   
Loki gritted his teeth and his eyes flashed.  
  
You stood up, kicking your chair over. “What did you call him, you asshole?” You growled, storming over to Jacobir.  
  
“Who are you?” The man looked down at you confused.  
  
“Does it matter? You live in a kingdom and you are slandering your prince.” You were proud of yourself, remembering the sort of terminology that you’d grown accustomed to while here on Asgard. You crossed your arms and glared at Jacobir. Loki hadn’t moved and was instead watching curiously.  
Jacobir glared back at you. You hadn’t noticed a tall, rather pig faced woman leaning on his arm, as well as two short burly men flanking him from behind.  
  
The atmosphere in the room changed and it suddenly felt dangerous. You were unarmed and weaker than any Asgardians you knew, you also were small compared to Jacobir. You were very fast and had spent a great deal of time amongst master assassins, so you were judging all possible outcomes carefully.  
“Who are you, girl?” Jacobir sneered down at you.  
  
“I’m (Y/n).” You stated calming, staring him in the eye.  
  
“Yes, well I’m-“  
  
“You’re an ass and you’re insulting a prince, I don’t give a damn who you are. Though I’ve had the misfortune to hear your name, Jacobir.”  
  
“Such a pretty little thing,” He interrupted you.  
  
“Can’t say the same for you.” You heard some quiet laughter around the room. Clearly this guy wasn’t popular.  
  
“Your name is unusual, you’re not from around here. Where are you from?”  
  
“I rode here from the palace.”  
  
“That your horse then?”  
  
“Close enough.”  
  
“So you’re standing up for that dog, Loki?” Your face flushed in anger. Jacobir smirked. “Everyone thought that runt died, yet he comes back to Asgard, just to go to the prisons, helps save Thor’s pathetic mortal – human,” he spat out the world like a curse, “and now he’s back as prince again? Just like when he was a pup?”  
  
“A pup? You’re one to speak, you’re as old as he is, asshole.”  
  
“Where’s your husband that I might slap him for your insolence? Though I doubt a bitch like you would have one with a mouth like that.”  
  
Your mouth dropped open, acting on years of training, you spun your leg around and kicked him in the crotch. He sank to his knees in pain. The room was dead silent as he tried to curse at you, but he couldn’t find his voice through the pain.  
You could break human bones with that kick, you were confident an Asgardian would feel at least some discomfort.  
  
You smirked down at him.  
  
“Enough.” Loki seemed to materialize as he walked over to you. He glanced down at Jacobir disdainfully, “Leave, you insolent waste of space.” Loki growled.  
  
“Where were you?” You muttered, not looking away from the man at your knees.  
  
“I didn’t feel like making a scene, and then you were doing marvelously by yourself.” Loki flashed you an amused smile.  
  
It occurred to you how completely in control of the scene he was. He radiated self-assurance. For all claims to the contrary, Loki exuded an aura of pride and confidence.  
  
Jacobir groaned, finally returning to his feet. “I’m going to kill you, you little quim!” He screamed as he ran at you.  
  
Loki stepped in front of you and in a blur of movement, Jacobir was on the ground, pinned beneath Loki. You hadn’t even seen when, but Loki had drawn a dagger and was holding it to Jacobir’s throat. The cold metal just shy of digging into his skin.  
“Don’t you ever,  _ever,_ , call her that you disgusting filth.” Loki hissed venomously. For all your knowledge of inappropriate phrases, Loki growled out several more that you’d never even imagined.  
  
Jacobir quivered on the ground. “Sorry.” He stammered out.  
  
Loki stood up and stepped away. “That was a warning.” Loki murmured. He shot a look around the tavern and everyone quickly looked away, continuing their conversations while trying to catch glimpses of the altercation still happening. “I’m not merciful twice.”  
  
The pig faced woman stepped towards Loki and grinned. “That was awfully brave of you, my prince.” She giggled.  
  
You felt sick at the sound of it. “Get lost.” You growled, shoving her away.  
  
She gasped, then shoved you back, “Make me!”  
  
“I’d break your teeth but you already look ugly enough, I don’t want to make it worse.” You retorted, shoving her again.  
  
Her mouth dropped open and Loki snorted. He shook his head, “Come on darling.”  
  
You glanced over your shoulder and smirked at the girl before taking Loki’s extended hand and following after him. The two of you stepped out into the street, and though the sun was beginning to set, the darkness of the room made it appear bright outside.  
  
“I’m not overly fond with the idea of being too honest of who you are.” Loki said quietly as you walked, “there are traitors everywhere.”  
  
“That makes sense.” You mumbled. “I was…” You trailed off. “What they said about Jane, and being human…”  
  
Loki turned back and took your hands in both of his. “Think nothing of it, my queen. I have seen parts of Midgard that you are not proud of and you have now seen parts of Asgard which I am not proud of. That Jacobir and his ilk are wretched and wanted for many crimes that no one can be certain they committed.” You raised an eyebrow. “Just because I haven’t been here in a while doesn’t make me any less aware of the situations. I still know the right people to talk to.” He flashed you a quick smile.  
  
By now, the two of you had reached the end of the street where Loki’s horse waited. She neighed in greeting. Loki smiled and patted her head.  
  
“I’ll kill you!” A bloody scream erupted through the dusk air as Jacobir charged towards you.  
  
Loki drew a wicked dagger that gleaned in the last light of the day. He raised his hand back to throw it-  
  
“Enough!” A grey object shot in front of you and Loki, slamming against Jacobir before returning back the direction it came from.  
  
“Hello Thor.” Loki said dully.  
  
“Guards.” Two mounted horsemen rode past, bent down, and proceeded to drag Jacobir away.  
Thor rode on his great brown mare, stopping beside Loki’s horse and smiling down at the pair of you. “Brother, lady (Y/n),” He greeted you with a smile.  
  
“Hey Thor.”  
  
“I see you met Jacobir?” Thor asked and you nodded.  
  
“A childhood friend.” Loki muttered.  
  
Thor’s face darkened, “I should have known.”  
  
Loki shrugged. “It’s handled. He’ll spend a few weeks in prison and continue on his pathetic way.”  
  
Thor shook his head. “I’m sorry brother, I had not realized how much I failed you.”  
  
“It’s fine.” Loki repeated firmly. Then he breathed out deeply, “What brings you here?”  
  
“I was looking for you and (Y/n). Volstagg said you promised to drink and feast with us. I mean to hold you to it.” Thor beamed down at Loki.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes but he couldn’t stop a small smile from forming. He effortlessly jumped into the saddle before pulling you up after him.  
  
“Why not give (Y/n) her own horse?” Thor asked.  
  
Loki shrugged, “Mine was sufficient.”  
You hadn’t been paying attention; you were busy trying to pull yourself in closer to Loki. You looked up in time to see Thor give Loki a smug knowing look.


	42. Chapter 42

“You never told me the horse’s name.” You muttered to Loki as the three of you rode back to the palace.  
  
“Arya.” Loki replied.  
  
“Arya.” You repeated, “I like it.”  
  
When you returned to the stables, Loki easily slid from his saddle before helping you down. He nodded sharply at the two stable boys who also took Thor’s horse after he had dismounted.  
  
“Why don’t you show my wife Arya’s stable?” Loki asked the two boys.  
  
You shrugged and followed after them, curious what it looked like.  
  
“So what does Arya think of (Y/n)?” Thor asked when you were out of earshot.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, “She’s quite fond of (Y/n) actually. But she’s hell bent on…” Loki trailed off. Thor raised an eyebrow curiously. “She wants to know how long she’ll have to wait to meet our children.” Loki covered his face with his hand, blushing slightly.  
  
Thor laughed loudly, then suddenly became serious, “(Y/n) isn’t… she’s not going to be-?” Thor stopped abruptly, eyes widening.  
  
Loki quickly shook his head, “No, no, of course not.” Then he looked down sadly. “Not that we’re ready by any means.” He was quiet.  
  
Thor stared at Loki silently, then asked, “You don’t want children?” He thought of Jane and how excited he was to be a father.  
  
“(Y/n) is human.” Loki whispered, looking back up.  
  
“So? Jane is also.”  
  
Loki shook his head, “I’m not Asgardian.” He whispered bitterly, “You know what monsters they,” he grit his teeth, “we are.”  
  
Thor placed his hand on Loki’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. “My brother and my friend, I’m certain (y/n) would agree with me that you are no monster. You have been misguided, used, and lost before, but I have never truly lost hope for you. I am ashamed to admit I doubted you at one time, but in my heart, I knew and still know, that you are my brother.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly, smiling weakly, “(Y/n), my wife, she said she wishes to see me in my true form.”  
  
“And that is why I’m certain she loves you as much as you love her.” Thor grinned, “Now let us rid ourselves of these troubling thoughts and feast and make merry.”  
  
At that moment, you walked out of the stables, “Feast?” You repeated excitedly as your stomach growled loudly. You glanced down sheepishly.  
  
“Yes.” Loki walked over and scooped you into his arms, kissing you gently. “Let us make merry.” Thor coughed and Loki looked at you apologetically, “You will need to wear a dress again.”  
  
You groaned, “Fine. Just for you. Now put me down.”  
  
“I’ll see you two at the feast.” Thor mumbled, walking away.  
  
Loki nuzzled his face against your chest, “I don’t think I will.” He murmured into the material of your shirt before walking with you back inside.  
  
“Loki…” You growled, struggling to get down.  
  
Loki gripped you tighter, “No.”  
  
A few guards glanced over as you continued to protest. They couldn’t help wonder the state of your relationship. Loki was known for mischief after all. He had broken many hearts in his time, but it was believed that he never truly loved anyone. Was this mortal woman any different?  
  
“Loki Laufeyson.” You growled struggling harder against him.  
  
Loki pressed you tighter, squeezing your arms against your sides, his eyes slowly lighting up in amusement.  
“Yes love?”  
  
“Please?” You whispered, pouting your lip out.  
  
Loki glanced down and saw your expression. If he gave in to that sweet and pitiable look now, he knew he would never be a free man again. You would always be able to get your way.  You blinked sweetly.  
Loki groaned, “You are a cruel woman.” He sighed and put you down.  
  
Instantly you smirked and leaned into him triumphantly. “You love me.”  
  
“More than you know.” He muttered.  
  
By now you had arrived at your shared quarters. Loki opened the door and you entered first.  
After a mild argument, you agreed to wear yet another dress. You had conceded that dressing like a princess could be fun.  
  
As Loki took your hand, leading you to the dining hall, he spoke to you softly, “Tomorrow there will be a ball on your behalf. You are essentially a princess of this realm now.”  
  
You raised an eyebrow in surprise, “Really?”  
  
“Yes, and you deserve to have the Asgardian wedding that Midgard could not give you.”  
  
You grinned, “Only if you want to.”  
  


* * *

  
You arrived at the dining hall and dined and drank with the many warriors. All of them were excited to meet the wife of the famed younger prince. Their curiosity of who had stolen his heart was greatly piqued. You, Loki, Sif, Thor and the warriors three drank happily into the night. Loki and Thor challenged each other to a drinking contest, competing long after the other warriors gave in. You were careful to sip your alcoholic drinks, wanting to match the length of time Loki would be drinking.  
  
Eventually the brothers were singing together, speeches slurred, but all around jovial. Soon the alcohol and food combined grew too much for you and you started to drift to sleep, leaning against the table.  
  
Loki stumbled over to you and whispered into your ear, “Perhaps we should call it a night?” He murmured, a drunken smile still spread on his face.  
  
You nodded and stood up, leaning against him heavily. The two of you slowly wound your way back through the halls to bed.  
Neither of you could be bothered to change and simply passed out as soon as you landed on the soft mattress.  
  


* * *

  
In the morning, Loki woke up moaning in pain. The loud sounds quickly woke you up and you echoed his misery, covering your eyes as you desperately tried to stop the throbbing in your head.  
  
Once again, there was a knocking at the door. You curled into a ball until Loki came back carrying two glasses of the fizzy purple drink. You downed it desperately, waiting for the effects to take hold.  
  
“Maybe easy on the drinking tonight.” You mumbled as you ate.  
  
Loki nodded, “It’s been quite some time since I drank that much.” Then he sighed, “We have a ball to attend tonight though.”  
  
“Right.” You moved over and laid your head on the pillow, closing your eyes. Even if the drink took the away the pain, you had still stayed up until the early hours of the morning and you were exhausted.  
  
Loki magicked his leather garb off until he was back in his black fleece pajama bottoms and shirtless. “Midgardians did well with this material.” He murmured.  
  
“Score one for humanity.” You replied as you curled into his side.  
  
Loki wrapped his arm around you, tracing lazy patterns on your stomach. He sighed, “I would really like to have you right now.”  
  
You kept your eyes closed as you shook your head, “Sleep now.”  
  
Loki kissed your head and stroked your hair gently. “Alright.”  
  


* * *

  
The two of you spent much of the day dozing. It was early afternoon when you finally got up.  
You looked down at your wrinkled dress and sighed. “Guess I can’t wear this again.”  
  
Loki chuckled and pointed to a hanger near the door. There was a grand gown, more beautiful than you had ever seen. “It’s a special occasion.” He smirked.  
  
You grumbled softly but didn’t argue.  
  


* * *

  
Not too much later, you and Loki started getting ready. After you finished washing in Loki’s spacious bathroom, you walked out to see Loki studying himself in the mirror.  
  
He was wearing his green cloak and gold horns, shifting this way and that as he reaccustomed himself to the familiar weight.  
  
He turned around to see you without any clothes and his mouth fell open, eyes darkening instantly. “Love?”  
You sashayed slowly to your dress, making sure to move as seductively as possible before slowly slipping into the gown.  
Loki walked toward you, eyeing you hungrily. As you straightened back up, you cast a demure look over your shoulder.  
“What are you doing?” Loki swallowed hard, his voice husky.  
  
“Just reminding you of my promise.” You leaned forward and kiss him deeply before quickly backing away before he could touch you.  
  
Loki frowned and glared at you. “It’s not nice to tease your king.” He growled.  
  
“I’m not teasing,” you whispered innocently, “Just reminding. Jotun or nothing.”  
  
Loki crossed his arms and shook his head. Then a smirk crossed his face.  
You eyed him warily, reminding yourself that you were challenging the ‘god of mischief’.  
  
“Two can play at that game, love. I’m certain you enjoyed our wedding night as much as I did.”  
  
You licked your lips slowly, “I’m certain I can hold out longer.”  
  
Loki stepped forward and stroked your side, hand trailing down your stomach and stopping just shy of where you’d have liked. You bit your lip, eyes fluttering at his touch.  
  
“Can you?” He growled. He leaned in closer and kissed your throat, then trailed his tongue down your jaw until his lips were right at your ear. “Can you truly elude me?” His whispered voice barely loud than a breath.  
  
You felt your knees quiver and you stepped away. Cheeks flushed and breathing heavily, you nodded, “Yes, after all, we have a ball to attend.”  
  
“Of course, my lady.” Loki smirked, noting your dilated pupils. He held his arm out to you and you took it.  
  
You smiled smugly, appreciating that his eyes were just as dark. This ball and banquet would hopefully do well to prevent you breaking your promise.  
  
You were very wrong.  
  


* * *

 

* * *

  
As you sat beside Loki, eating quietly and joining in the lively conversations, you fought to ignore the onslaught of dirty whispers he was giving you. Any time Loki had to lean near you, he would continue his quiet profanities; and he found many opportunities to lean near you. You frowned at one particularly obscene promise, trying to hide your blush.  
  
Finally you shot an angry glare at Loki. He simply smiled innocently as one of the people around you asked about your well-being. You assured them you were fine with a forced smile.  
  
Someone asked Loki a question and you took the opportunity to slide your hand up his thigh, stopping to apply the faintest pressure.  
  
Loki gasped and looked down at you. This time you smiled innocently and continued your conversation with the person on your other side  
  
Before Loki could retaliate, the meal was declared over and the tables were quickly moved to the side. Everyone waited expectantly for the guest of honor, you, to take the floor. Loki gently held your hand and led you out onto the dance floor.  
  
“Truce?” You asked quietly.  
  
“For tonight, I can agree.” Loki responded with a small smile as the two of you started to glide around the room.  
  
You were quickly joined by the rest of the assembly.  
  
“This is your special moment after all.” Loki continued in a soft voice.  
  
“Our special moment.” You kissed him gently; a simple reminder that no matter what, you loved him completely.  
  
Loki gently kissed you back. “Yes.”  
  
After numerous songs, you started to grow tired and Loki led you outside to one of the many balconies. You were pleasantly surprised to find that they overlooked the gardens.  
  
“It’s beautiful.” You whispered, leaning against the rail.  
  
Loki leaned against you, head on your shoulder as he gazed out over the land with you. “It truly is.”  
  
“Hey Loki?” You turned around and Loki stepped back.  
  
“Yes love?”  
  
“Yesterday, with Jacobir,” Loki frowned at the memory, “how badly he thinks of humans.” You spoke slowly, afraid to voice your fears aloud. “I just want to be good enough for you.” You whispered quietly.  
  
Loki looked at you surprised. “Good enough for me? How could you not be? With my true heritage especially… you are certainly too good for me.” Loki looked down at the ground sadly, “You know what monsters those beasts are.”  
  
You gently touched Loki’s cheek so he looked up at you. “You think you’re a monster and not good enough for me, and I’m a human and don’t think I’m good enough for you.”  
  
“Where does that leave us?” Loki murmured, a half smile playing at the corner of his mouth.  
  
“Needing to probably give ourselves some slack, and maybe, just good enough for each other?” You matched his hesitant expression.  
  
Loki leaned forward and kissed you gently, “I think that’s perfect.”  
  
You placed your hands on his chest and leaned your head against him, resting in the crook of his neck. Loki wrapped his arms around you and held you closely. The two of you swayed quietly as the music from the hall drifted to your place on the balcony.  
  
Finally Loki broke your shared calm silence, “Shall we return to the others?”  
  
“Alright.”  
  


* * *

  
As you returned to the dancefloor, you were stopped by Thor. He smiled at the sight of the two of you holding hands.  
“Lady (y/n), you look beautiful.”  
  
You smiled, “Thanks Thor.”  
  
Thor turned to Loki, an anticipatory look on his face, “Brother, I’m so happy for you two. You look well also.” He started to ramble about how pleased he was for the pair of you and the lovely arrangements of the ball.  
  
Finally Loki rolled his eyes and interrupted Thor, “Get going.”  
  
“What?” Thor was having a challenging time feigning disappointment at being kicked out of the party; though he did seem genuinely confused.  
  
“It’s our night and we’re fine. Go back to your mortal,” Loki paused, “to your wife.” You glanced up at Loki and he sighed, “To Jane. Go back to Jane. She’s pregnant and I know you two want to be together. Asgard is in good hands with-“ Thor stepped forward and gripped Loki tight in a bear hug, squeezing the breath out of him.  
  
“Thank you brother!” Thor pulled away and gently kissed your hand as Loki massaged his bruised ribs. “Until we speak again. You’ll keep us informed of the rest of your honeymoon, yes?”  
  
You grinned, “Absolutely.”  
  
Thor bowed his head before turning and hurrying away, it was clear that he was fighting the urge to run.  
  
Loki hummed thoughtfully, “I hadn’t really considered where we would spend our time after this.”  
  
“Me neither,” you confessed. Then you smiled again, “Well, we have all the time in the world, shall we dance more, my king?”  
  
You missed the faint look of sadness in Loki’s eyes, for he quickly smiled and bowed low. “Absolutely.”  
  


* * *

  
The next day was spent roaming the castle, meeting the many staff and guards, as well as nobility of Asgard and many visiting realms. Loki fell back easily into the rhythm of royal duties. You were having a harder time, fidgeting occasionally as you forced yourself into polite frivolities. Training as a spy, allowing you to adapt to any situation helped greatly, but you were still very much out of your element. More than a few times, Loki would look over at you during a conversation and frown apologetically.  
  
“Thank you love,” Loki whispered as you sat through one particularly boring meeting.  
  
You nodded tiredly. More than anything, you wanted to be with Loki, but at the same time, you desperately missed your job as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.  
In between meetings, Loki could see the clear conflict on your face. After that meeting, Loki managed to offer you an excuse to retire to your room for the night. You breathed out a heavy sigh of relief and pecked Loki on the cheek before moving as fast as you could back to the room. Loki slowly shook his head, then entered another room, bracing himself for yet another meeting.  
  
You got back to the room and collapsed onto one of the seats by the fire. Grabbing one of the ancient tomes Loki had left on the table, you started to read.  
An hour or so later, you were lost in the story and barely registered the door click open. Your eyes flicked up long enough to realize it was Loki and no threat, before continuing again with the book.  
  
Loki slowly crossed the room and sank to his knees beside your legs. He gently rested his head on your lap and started to stroke your legs, smiling softly.  
  
You glanced down from the book, mirroring his content expression. After a moment you positioned the book so you held it in one hand and used your free hand to gently stroke his hair. Your fingers slid through the feathery raven strands, sometimes moving to his back and rubbing his sore muscles.  
Loki hummed in content, closing his eyes, as he enjoyed your touch.  
Finally you set the book down as Loki turned his face to look at you, his other cheek now resting on your legs.  
  
“Now that I’m here with you like this,” Loki murmured softly before trailing off. “I hadn’t realized just how much I was missing. I truly wish we had done this sooner.”  
  
You rubbed his back and nodded, “Me too. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time to realize it.”  
  
“Perhaps I’m not the dumbass after all.” Loki smirked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
You moved your hand up to stroke his cheek. “No, you’re still my dumbass, but maybe I’m not quite so smart either.” Your other arm was propping your head up as you stared down at him lovingly.  
  
Loki chuckled softly, “Very well love. Should we get some sleep?”  
  
As if on cue, you let out a large yawn. “Yea, probably.”  
  
You could practically see Loki’s mind working as his eyes sparkled mischievously. “Or perhaps, you should relax first. It’s been quite a long day and you look tired.”  
  
You eyed him suspiciously, “Loki Laufeyson,” you started slowly. He grinned innocently, “I told you, I’m not doing anything until you’re willing to show me your true form.”  
  
Loki pulled away from you as he straightened up. You could see his eyes darken in anger and his brow furrow. “No.” He growled through clenched teeth. Then he closed his eyes and exhaled slowly before opening them. “I have a rather large bath; I think we could both benefit from using it.” You raised an eyebrow. Loki rolled his eyes, “I promise, I will do nothing you don’t want. I simply wish to hold you, and to be able to relax you like that sounds delightful.”  
  
You smiled ruefully, “Alright, when you put it that way.”  
  
In an instant, Loki was standing, and then pulling you to your feet as well. He took your hands in his and backed his way into the bathroom, tugging you along gently.  
  
Loki let go of your hand long enough to flick his wrist, causing the warm water to burst from the faucet and begin filling the tub.  
  
Very slowly and quite intimately, Loki slid your dress from your shoulders. He kissed you gently before trailing his lips along your jaw and moving behind you, all the while planting soft kisses. He undid your dress and pushed it to the floor before gliding his chilly fingers along your skin. Try as you might, you couldn’t stifle all of your moans. After a few minutes of his delicate touch, you were weak in the knees.  
  
Finally you pulled away and glared at him, breathing heavily. Loki smiled innocently. With deft movements, you started to undo the many buckles on his armour; you were becoming more and more acquainted with them by the day.  
  
Loki chuckled softly at how fast you were able to undress him.  
  
When you knelt down, unbuckling his trousers, you kissed his stomach softly. As you stood back up, you continued to trail kisses along his torso until you were standing and kissing his soft lips. All the while, the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off each other, delicately exploring the other’s skin.  
  
The kiss started to deepen, seeming to last an eternity and also no time at all, when Loki finally pulled away.  
  
“The bathtub is filled, it would seem, love.” He murmured.  
  
You turned your attention to it, surprised by its size. Loki held your hand as you stepped in, then followed you. He sat down and pulled you onto his lap kissing your neck all the while and massaging your tired muscles as you melted into him.  
  
Loki reached for one of the various bars of soap, working it into a lather and began massaging it into your skin. After he deemed you clean, you slowly turned around and washed him as well.  
You stoically ignored the lascivious sounds he was making, though you continued to gently kiss him from time to time.  
  
When the two of you had finished washing, you both lay cuddled together until the water grew cold.  
  
Loki scooped you up and helped dry you off, before carrying you back to bed.  
You curled against his side, appreciating just how perfectly the two of you fit together as you lay there. Your eyes lazily drifted shut as Loki continued to stroke and nuzzle your skin, until you both finally drifted off to sleep, wrapped in the other’s tight embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't seen/read Game of Thrones when I named the horse, just a fyi


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, fluff done, back to plot!

Much of the following week was spent attending various meetings, gatherings, and discussions of political matters.  
  
One night, seizing the earliest available opportunity, you excused yourself from dinner, leaving Loki to speak with several visiting dignitaries. You nearly sprinted back to the room, leaning against the wall with a heavy sigh once you finally arrived.  
  
You sat down at the vanity, removing the many clips from your hair. Sighing deeply, you looked in the mirror: you were a human S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, not some Asgardian princess.  
  
“I’m sorry love.”  
  
You spun around as you noticed Loki in the room. “Hey.” You greeted him with a soft smile.  
  
Loki came over to you, gently stroking your shoulders before placing soft kisses down the back of your neck. “Heimdall, Sif, and the Warriors Three will be taking up their duties as rulers again soon.”  
  
You looked up at him in surprise, “What about you?”  
  
“Odin is still king. I want nothing to do with him and wish only to be with you. Forgive me, but you look miserable the moment you step out of this room, knowing you’re off to another meeting.”  
  
Taking his hand and stroking it gently, you held it in place on your shoulder. “I want you to be happy just as much.”  
  
Loki nodded, “Thank you.” He was silent for a moment. “I asked Sif if she would show you parts of the palace that were more your style. I intend to start scouring the library for ancient spells; many of the books will not be in the All Language. I figure you might as well get something enjoyable out of your time.”  
  
You frowned, “I wouldn’t mind getting you for some of my time.” You added a playful smile.  
Loki closed his eyes and breathed out heavily. “Yes. As would I.” He braced himself as he opened his eyes again, “There really is no changing your mind?”  
  
You hesitated, “I never want to do anything to hurt you, or upset you, but I want you to know just how seriously I mean it when I say I love you. All of you.”  
  
Loki nodded sadly, closing his eyes again. “Alright.” He murmured.  
  
Without opening his eyes, he helped you to your feet and led you to the bed. He carefully slid your dress until it landed in a pool at your feet, still keeping his eyes closed.  
Finally, breathing in deeply, Loki opened his eyes. A blue hue started to spread across his skin, and when his eyes opened, they were already brilliantly red. He clenched his teeth until the glamour vanished completely.  
  
He spread his arms and nodded at you. Hesitantly, you stood up and started unbuckling the many straps and belts on his leather armour. Soon, he too, stood bare before you, only covered by his meagre undergarments.  
  
You smiled at him, seeing his bright blue skin and the deep ridges marking all across his bare body. You took time to lazily trace your fingers along them, then the many deep blue scars that lay scattered about like roads on a map.  
  
Loki looked down at you sadly, trying to remain completely still as he allowed your fingers to graze his figure.  
  
Never once did the smile fall from your face, so happy were you to be seeing your husband in his barest form before you. Finally you stepped forward and hugged him, gently stroking his back. Even then, as your fingers slid over his cool skin, you could feel the deep jagged scars from the vicious tortures he had endured.  
  
“Thank you.” You murmured into his chest. You nuzzled your face against the chilly skin, “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”  
  
Loki slowly wrapped his arms around you and held you like that, appreciating your warm body pressed against his. “And you truly are not afraid?”  
  
“You’re the god of lies, dumbass,” you smirked into his skin, “you should know how sincere I’m being.”  
  
“I will snap your neck.” He growled affectionately.  
  
You pulled away and beamed up at him before pressing your lips to his in a strong kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck as Loki pressed you closer to himself by your waist.  
  
“Would you be willing to stay this way for tonight?” You whispered when you pulled away, panting for breath.  
  
Loki stared down at you hungrily, “If that’s what you truly want.” You bit your lower lip and nodded seductively. “One night was not enough for me, I’ve been desperate for more.” Loki growled.  
  
“You and me both.” You kissed him once more.  
  
Loki smirked into the kiss before slowly pushing you back onto the bed and crawling atop you. “I guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time, won’t we?” He growled.  
  


* * *

  
Loki kept the glamour spell off, even as you laid curled into his side, late in the night.  
  
“Let’s do that more often.” You muttered between heavy breaths as you rested your head on Loki’s chest.  
  
He laughed, breathing just as hard, “I’d like that.”  
  


* * *

  
In the morning, after the pair of you ate breakfast, Loki led you to the training grounds where you met up with Sif.  
  
He bowed low, kissing your hand, before leaving and making his way to the library. Only having you for a mortal lifetime was too short, nothing would stop him from being with you forever.  
  
Sif was much friendlier to you without the other warriors around and even seemed to welcome your presence. She seemed impressed with the speed you learned.  
  
Over the next few weeks, you and the fierce warrior grew quite close. Sometimes you went so far as to think you were friends. She laughed well enough at your jokes and was willing to learn a few tricks from you, though her preferred weapon of choice made it hardly relevant, it was the thought that counted.  
  
You alternated time between training with Sif and trying to help Loki in the library. There weren’t many spellbooks or books for research that you could read, but you enjoyed some of the stories that had been gathered over the many centuries in the palace library. Also, even if you couldn’t actually be of use for research, you were content to spend time quietly with Loki as he diligently worked along.  
  
One of the days spent with Sif, during a break from training, she asked you about Midgard.  
  
“I miss it,” you confessed, “I miss my other friends, and I miss my work.”  
  
Sif raised an eyebrow, “Have you told Loki?”  
  
You shook your head, “He needs the library.”  
  
“Well, it’s not as though you have to do everything together.”  
  
You frowned thoughtfully, “I suppose that’s true. I can definitely take care of myself, and it’d just be for a bit. It’s not like we can’t call each other, or whatever interrealm communication is called.”  
  
“It’s been a pleasure getting to know you. I had misgivings about you originally, choosing Loki after his recent actions caused me to doubt you, but I see you are quite delightful. And I must admit that he seems to be improving more than he ever did as a child.”  
  
You grinned, “I would love to hear some kid stories about him.”  
  
“I hope you two are having your fun.” Loki growled, appearing out of nowhere.  
Sif held up her hands innocently, smirking at Loki.  
  
“Hey dumbass.” Loki scowled at you, causing you to beam wider.  
  
“You won’t mind if I steal (Y/n) for the rest of the day, will you Sif?” He asked.  
  
“Have fun you two.”  
  
Loki wrapped his arm around your waist, leading you away. “I couldn’t help but overhear you saying you miss Midgard.”  
  
Leaning against him, you sighed, “A little. I miss Nat and Bucky and everyone.”  
  
“Yes, I suppose I do too.” He sighed, “I need the library here though.”  
  
“Maybe we,” you hesitated, “what if I took a few missions back with S.H.I.E.L.D.? I’m sure I could partner up with Nat or someone, or a solo mission. I used to do those all the time.”  
  
Loki frowned, “Solo? No. I’m not letting my partner go alone.”  
  
You rolled your eyes, “I did just fine with small things before I met you.”  
  
“I’m not letting anything happen to you.”  
  
You stopped walking and turned to face him, crossing your arms in annoyance. “I can take care of myself.”  
  
Loki glared at you. “I know.” Then he looked at the ground sadly, “I don’t want to risk losing you. The thought of you growing old and losing you so soon anyways is hard enough to bear, I can’t imagine something else taking you away even sooner.”  
  
“I’ll be fine, and careful. You have to trust me. You know that.”  
  
Loki sighed again, “It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s those wretches who might hurt you.”  
  
You stood on your toes and kissed him gently, “That’s why I have to go. Someone has to make sure they’re stopped. There’s a million other people who care for reach other just as much as you care for me-”  
  
Loki cut you off, “No one cares for another as much as I love you.” He insisted, though there was a flicker of mischief in his eyes as he spoke.  
  
You flicked his nose, “No, of course not.” Loki nuzzled his face into your neck and you chuckled. “I’ll stay here a few more days anyways, it’s not like I’m in a hurry to leave you, I just want to see our friends.”  
  


* * *

  
As you and Loki lay down for sleep that night, whispering sweet nothings, there was a loud knocking at the door.  
  
You both sat up startled, it was late at night, probably after two. You had ended up helping Loki in the library, doing your best to understand his many notes. So it was late when you both retired to bed and neither of you were close to sleep.  
  
Loki got up and pulled his trousers on, as well as a light tunic. You wrapped yourself in your green robe, though stayed in bed, wondering who would interrupt at this hour.  
  
“Heimdall wishes to speak with you in the throne room, my lord.” One of the guards spoke to Loki.  
You frowned, something about the voice seemed different than you were used to, but you couldn’t quite place it.  
  
Apparently Loki noticed it too, for he glanced back at you uncertainly. “Very well…” He said slowly, returning his attention to the guard. As he opened the door further to leave, he cast one last look over his shoulder, “Don’t worry love, I’m sure it’s fine.” Though his smile remained uneasy.  
  
One of the guards entered the room and stayed by the door as it shut behind him. You eyed the guard uncertainly.  
  
“Loki requests you not to be alone.” The guard explained.  
  
You nodded slightly, a sense of doubt creeping over yourself. You glanced at the bedside table where Loki kept a dagger hidden at all times. Barely noticeable, you slid closer to it, never taking your eyes off the guard. Just as eerily, he never took his eyes off you.  
  


* * *

  
Loki walked in silence, flanked by four guards as he made his way to the throne room. As he walked, a trickle of doubt crept along his spine. He realized he was completely unarmed and not wearing the slightest bit of armour, whereas the people surrounding him were armed to the nines. Loki furrowed his brow.  
  
The guards stopped outside the throne room and motioned for him to enter, slamming the door shut the second he was inside. Immediately Loki knew he wasn’t alone.  
  
A dozen figures emerged from the shadows and Loki frowned. It took less than a second for him to register what they were before they were upon him.  
  
Dark elves.  
  
Lightning fast reflexes allowed Loki to dodge the attacks. Lithely dancing amongst the elves until he was able to disarm one and start to defend himself.  
  
After several minutes, the numbered disadvantage proved too many and Loki was pinned to the ground, a sharp blade held against his throat. He was breathing heavily as he struggled against his captors’ grips. Loki eyed the blade warily.  
  
“Asgardian,” the leader of the small group barked angrily. “You have slain many of our people, ruined our chances to return the universe to darkness, and slayed our king!”  
  
Loki smirked up at him, “About time I get the proper credit for my help.” Even as he lay pressed to the ground, the flicker of mischief couldn’t be missed in his eyes.  
  
One of the dark elves holding Loki down kicked him viciously and he grunted in pain. “This mockery will be your last. Asgard will fall to her enemies and you shall be the first casualty.” The dark elf paused, “Or perhaps that mortal quim in your bedchambers has already died.”  
  
All blood drained from Loki’s face as his eyes widened in horror. The elf smirked, realizing he had struck a nerve at Loki.  
  
Loki’s eyes darkened as he snarled angrily. Magic pulsated from around him, throwing the elves back. Loki teleported beside the elf leader and slammed him to the ground, dagger against his throat. “She is my wife!” He roared.  
  
“For Malekith!” The dark elf’s words faded into a gurgle of blood as Loki’s dagger sank deep into the creature’s throat.  
  
Once more, the other dark elves were upon him and Loki managed to fight them off. Finally he stood panting in the middle of the throne room, now empty save for the fallen dark elves. Loki breathed in deeply, trying to steady himself before quietly making his way to the throne room doors. He threw the massive doors open before ducking through, twisting and spinning as he killed the remaining elves posted as guards just outside his would be execution grounds.  
  
Pulling his small stolen blade from the last elf, Loki straightened up once more. A trickle of blood ran from a light cut on his face, as well as a dozen other lighter injuries on his torso. Adrenaline pulsed through him so he neither noticed nor cared.  
  
A sharp scream pierced the air and Loki spun around in horror, realizing the direction it had come from and knowing whose voice it was. His mouth dried instantly and his heart leapt to his throat. Loki bellowed your name as he ran a dead sprint back to your shared bedroom.  
  
He could only pray he wasn’t too late.


	44. Chapter 44

The leather hilt of the dagger felt comforting and familiar, reminding you distinctly of Loki.  
  
You didn’t have long to dwell on the thought before the guard at the door noticed your actions and lunged forward. Rolling to the side, you narrowly avoided the spear as it plunged into the mattress where you had just been sitting. You rolled again and landed on the floor beside the bed, hands and knees on the ground. Cursing under your breath at your lack of undergarments, again you didn’t have long to dwell as the guard quickly recovered and moved towards you.  
  
The spear caught in the mattress, affording you time to kick one of the posts holding up the canopy bed, snapping it easily. Finally, the guard abandoned his spear and drew his sword, jumping onto the bed to rush at you. You managed to parry the thrust before grasping his sword wrist and turning the blade on your foe. As the two of you struggled, you moved to the other canopy beam on your side. Releasing your grip on his wrist, the guard stumbled backwards. You kicked down the beam and the thick green cloth fell on him, quickly enveloping the man and blocking you from his view.  
As he struggled against the canopy, you turned and fled from the room.  
  
The handle turned from the other side as you opened the door. Two guards stood in the doorway, trying to find the source of the commotion.  
  
Your gaze flickered back to the guard struggling on the bed as well as your discarded dagger.  
For a moment, you dared hope that they would help you, but it was quickly dashed as the two men jumped at you; one with a spear and the other a long sword. You let out a loud piercing scream as the spear grazed your side, though you managed to dodge the sword. You stumbled to the ground as you were forced back into the room. As the two men approached you, you were vaguely aware of the third guard finally freeing himself from the canopy. Your pulse thundered in your head as you tried to find an escape, seeing nothing, you settled for backing away.  
  
When your back made contact with the wall, you realized you were well and truly surrounded and outmatched. Looking back and forth between the two guards, you realized they didn’t look Asgardian, let alone human. Their features were paler and sharper, and their armour looked like it had been replicated to match Asgardian.  
  
You stared back at their cold dark eyes defiantly, a pang of sorrow crossing your heart; you were certain the guards who had taken Loki were probably imposters also.  
  
Then you heard your name cried out and the guards in front of you were knocked to the ground. You had milliseconds to register Loki before reflexively grasping the fallen spear and throwing it.  
  
Loki stopped to smile at you, flinching as the spear sailed past his face. He spun around as the third guard slumped over, killed by the spear.  
  
Once more turning back to you, Loki let out a soft laugh. He shook his head and ran forward to you, holding you tightly against his chest, stroking your hair as tears of relief flooded his eyes. You wrapped your arms tightly around his waist and inhaled his scent, safe in his arms again.  
  
“I guess Sif’s training with a spear has been helpful.” You muttered into his tunic. Loki finally pulled away and looked down at you. His green eyes flickered to the light cut at your side and his brow furrowed in concern. A green glow surrounded his hand as he reached to heal you through your silk robe. “I’m fine.” You smiled weakly, pushing him away. Then your mouth dropped open as you registered the myriad of wounds on Loki, particularly the gash on his cheek. “Loki!”  
  
Loki glanced across the room, looking at his reflection in the mirror. “It’s fine, love, mostly superficial.”  
  
You shook your head and hurried into the bathroom to grab a damp cloth. When you returned to the room, Loki was staring at the collapsed canopy.  
  
“Broke the canopy,” You mumbled apologetically.  
  
Loki glanced back at you and chuckled, “You’re safe, that’s all that matters.”  
  
You cleared a space on the bed and had Loki sit down while you tended to his light injuries. He assured you that he was fine, but you ignored him. Kneeling on the edge of the bed, you wiped away the blood, wanting to be certain. The two of you straightened up as heavy footsteps approached the room. Loki’s arm shot out defensively and pushed you onto the bed, farther behind him.  
  
The doors burst open and one of the guards shouted, “My lord!”  
  
“Where were you lazy sods?!” Loki snarled furiously once he realized they were friendly.  
  
Hogunn, of the Warriors Three, rounded the corner as Loki yelled angrily. The guards hung their heads in shame, silently taking his rage.  
  
“Loki,” Hogunn said quietly, raising his hand. Loki fell abruptly silent, staring at the man uncertainly. “A small platoon breached Asgard’s inner security; Volstagg was injured on his nightly patrol.”  
  
“Is he ok?” You asked, pushing past Loki.  
  
Hogunn nodded at you, “It was a light wound, he will heal.” You smiled in relief and Hogunn continued addressing Loki. “I take it this wasn’t your doing then.”  
  
Loki’s eyes flashed, “How dare you accuse me-?” Loki snarled viciously as he stalked towards Hogunn.  
  
You could see the guards’ grips on their weapons tighten. “Loki…” You breathed softly. Loki glanced back at you.  
  
Hogunn simply blinked at the two of you, then continued unapologetically, “You have been involved with concealing Asgard’s enemies in before. It wasn’t too far of a stretch to think the same.” Loki’s eyes were nearly black with rage but he didn’t move. You took Loki’s hand in yours and gently stroked it, trying to calm him down.  
  
“My wife, (y/n), was attacked, not to mention myself. As for with Laufey, it figures that Odin would never inform anyone of what truly happened.” Loki shook his head stiffly, though he allowed you to grip his arm. “Besides, you should have seen by now that these are dark elves.”  
  
“Dark elves?” You repeated, “Aren’t those what attacked London?”  
  
Loki nodded, “They killed my mother, the queen, as well.”  
  
Hogunn was silent as the two of you spoke. “You’re right, forgive me Loki.” You smiled at Hogunn and glanced up at Loki, nodding encouragingly. There was a commotion at the doorway as someone approached, then Hogunn spoke again, “Word of dead found in the throne room just arrived, I take it that was you?”  
  
Loki nodded wearily, eyes drifting shut as he spoke. “Yes, they brought me to be executed. They seem to be some rogue group of Malekith’s supporters.” His eyes shot open and you could practically see him thinking. A heavy silence filled the room as the guards recalled the massive death toll from when Malekith had attacked. Loki glanced back at you, a soft blush on his cheeks, you glanced down and remembered you were wearing only a robe and you felt your face turn bright red. “We’ll meet you in the war room, my wife and I would like to get dressed.”  
  
The guards quickly averted their eyes and bowed before awkwardly shuffling from the room. Hogunn nodded, muttering an apology as he closed the door after himself.  
  
Loki sat down on the bed again, once more looking exhausted. He closed his eyes and with a gentle wave of his hand, the air shimmered gold around him and he was dressed in his leather armour. You started to look for a dress to wear but Loki cut you off, telling you to wear riding clothes.  
  
“Riding clothes?” You repeated uncertainly.  
  
Loki nodded, his eyes still shut. It struck you just how exhausted he looked. “It’s a war meeting, you might need to speak with Heimdall on my behalf.” Again you nodded uncertainly but did as he asked. When his eyes finally opened, something about the way he looked at you was unusual.  
  
“Loki?” You asked slowly.  
  
He forced a smile. “Yes love?”  
  
You pulled your shirt on and walked in front of him, kneeling down at the foot of the bed and took his head in your hands, “Don’t lie to me.”  
  
Loki inclined his head slightly, gazing back at you unwavering, “Of course.” He smiled again.  
  
“Are you alright?” Loki went to respond but you cut him off, “and not just physically, I know you’ve had a few nicks before and this is nothing, but we’re talking about the people who…” you trailed off, not sure how to phrase ‘murdered your mother.’  
  
Loki sensed what you were asking and stood up. He pulled you to your feet as well, kissing you gently, “I couldn’t protect my mother, but I can protect you.”  
  
“Alright, wait-Ah!” Loki’s fingers brushed along your forehead and you felt your body go limp.  
  
“I’m sorry love,” Loki murmured as your vision went black.  
  


 

 

* * *

 

  
  
You woke up slowly, squinting even at the dim light that was cutting through the curtains. You tried to shake the grogginess from your head but you felt as if you had been drugged.  
  
“Hey.” A soft voice whispered, a woman’s voice.  
  
You reached up from underneath your blankets and pressed your palms to your head. “Hi.” The voice stayed quiet as you continued to blink hard, shaking your head and trying to think. Finally the drugged feeling started to go away and you simply felt like you were recovering from a flu.  
  
“I guess Loki didn’t warn  _you_  that it would be this bad. He told us thankfully.” The woman spoke again.  
  
Finally your vision cleared and you looked over, a smile spreading across your face. “Natasha!” You shouted in excitement.  
  
She leaned forward and hugged you tight, “Hey (y/n)! I missed you.” Natasha pulled away and smiled at you.  
  
“What are you doing on Asgard? I thought they didn’t like mortals visiting…” You trailed off as you looked around the room. It was familiar, but not the golden halls of the palace. In fact, as you glanced down at your sheets, you realized you weren’t in the palace at all.  
  
You were back in your old room at Stark Tower.  
  
“Oh that ASSHOLE!” You roared, struggling to stand up. Your voice was certain to have echoed around the tower.  
  
Natasha’s hand easily pressed you back into the pillows, preventing you from moving. “Hey, calm down,” she started.  
  
“Calm down? CALM DOWN?! We nearly get fucking murdered like fifteen minutes ago and he knocks me out, then sends me to fucking earth like it’s nothing, doesn’t even tell me, and you want me to stay calm?” Your voice was shrill, and the loudness hurt your own head. Natasha winced at the sound. “Where is he? How long have I been out?”  
  
Natasha waited until you were silent and your breathing had started to slow. As she was about to speak, the door slid open. You looked up, expecting to see Loki in the doorway and continue yelling, but it was Bucky and Thor standing there. They both had weak smiles on their faces and were cringing, clearly worried that you would start screaming again.  
  
“Where the hell is that asshole?” You snarled at the two men.  
  
“Lady Natasha, I thought you were going to tell her.” Thor replied nervously.  
  
Natasha rolled her eyes as you shot your attention back to her. “I was going to, but she started yelling first.”  
  
“Tell me what?” You demanded.  
  
“He’s still on Asgard.” Bucky mumbled.  
  
“What?” You fell silent, whipping your head to and fro, searching their faces for some signs of confirmation.  
  
“You’ve been asleep for three days.” Natasha said.  
  
Confused, you repeated, “Three days?”  
  
Natasha nodded, “Yea, after what happened on Asgard, Loki arranged for you to come back here, but he figured you wouldn’t be pleased with the idea so decided to knock you out for an extra few days.” Your mouth fell open as you stared at her speechless. “If it makes you feel any better, he only knocked you out for the extra few days to help out Thor.”  
  
“No, no! Do not put that blame upon me!” Thor glared at Natasha.  
  
“Loki figured you would bother Thor mercilessly so he made the spell last longer, give him some reprieve.” Natasha finished and Thor scowled.  
  
“I’m gonna kill him.” You breathed softly. You shook your head and repeated it. “I’m going to kill him. After I kill whatever sent those ‘dark elves’ things, I’m gonna kill him.” You pressed the palms of your hands to your forehead, groaning as you did.  
  
Natasha gently put her arm around your shoulder and patted your back. It felt nice, but you really missed Loki’s touch. Though right now you were furious and would rather slap him than hug him, you still felt yourself aching for his presence.  
  
“We’ll go have Jarvis make you some dinner,” Bucky offered, “C’mon Thor.” He put his hand on Thor’s shoulder and guided the large man from the room.  
  
“Do you want me to bring it down for you?” Natasha asked hesitantly.  
  
You shook your head, “No, I’ll go upstairs. I’ll say hi to the others, I have missed you guys. Honestly.” You added ruefully.  
  
She offered you a small smile, “Yea, we’ve missed you too. Not every day your husband magically puts you in a coma, huh?”  
  
You wrinkled your nose and shook your head. “No kidding... Let me get dressed first.”  
  
“Of course, do you need help?” You shook your head and Natasha frowned uncertainly, “You sure?”  
  
“I’m fine, thanks Tasha.”  
  
Natasha helped you to the bathroom but ended up leaving your room, promising to meet you in the hallway in a couple minutes.  
  
Once the bathroom door shut, it took less than a second to register that you weren’t alone. You whipped your head around and saw a tall dark figure standing in front of the door. Then your mouth dropped open again. “Loki?!” You wanted to yell, but your voice cracked from all your previous yelling and it came out as more of a squeak. Instead you settled for trying to slap his face.  
Your hand passed harmlessly through the illusion, and it merely flickered, though it held its hands up apologetically.  
  
“Sorry love.” Loki’s illusion murmured.  
  
“What the hell, Loki?” You yelled again, though not so loud as to draw Natasha’s attention. You felt tears in your eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry, truly, I am.” Loki looked paler than usual and there were dark circles under his eyes.  
  
You wanted to stay mad at him, but he looked so pitiable and exhausted… You let out a heavy sigh as you crossed your arms and glared at him. “You look like shit, dumbass.” You growled angrily.  
  
A trace of a smile quirked the corner of his mouth. “Yes, thank you for that, agent.”  
  
“You haven’t been sleeping.” Loki rolled his eyes and was about to speak but you continued, cutting him off, “I, on the other hand, have apparently done nothing but sleep for the last three days.” You grit your teeth angrily.  
  
Loki closed his eyes, pained. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“So why am I here and you’re not? We’re better with each other.”  
  
“Because this is a matter of Asgard’s safety.”  
  
“Then shouldn’t Thor be there also?”  
  
“He believes with my presence it’s in more than capable hands, also he has his wife and soon to be newborn child to take care of. Asgard isn’t safe right now.”  
  
“Well I’m not pregnant, I can stay and help.” You frowned.  
  
Loki shook his head tiredly, “I can’t risk you being near me right now.” You tilted your head uncertainly. “I believe they’re going after the royal family. I appear to be in line for the throne, I still technically am, should anything happen to Odin. Thor has made it more than clear that he would prefer me to have the throne over himself.” You nodded slowly. “The other person they would go after is Thor. If Thor is with me, that will put a greater risk on you, Jane, and possibly the other Avengers. The three of you staying together will ensure they target me first, it allows Asgard’s defenses to work as they’re supposed to.”  
  
You felt your heart catch in your throat, “You’re being a decoy?”  
  
“Essentially.” Loki replied, not quite looking you in the eye.  
  
You bit your lip slowly and nodded, “Will you stay in contact with me?”  
  
“As much as I can. Try not to tell Thor too much, I don’t want to make him feel guilty and risk abandoning his wife and newborn.”  
  
You shook your head, “No, of course not, you’re right.” You sighed. “Be careful.” The two of you looked away silently for a moment. Then you glanced back up at Loki with a weak smile, “You’ll just have to hurry, ok? The sooner you figure this out, the sooner you’ll get to meet your niece or nephew and we can be back together, alright?”  
  
Loki nodded and smiled, it seemed genuine though there was a heavy sadness in his eyes that didn’t go away. “I would like that.” He swallowed thickly.  
  
“I love you Loki.” You beamed at him, fighting back tears.  
  
“I love you too, little one.” He murmured. You reached forward to hug him, but the vision disappeared as you made contact.  
  
  


 

* * *

 

 

  
Loki stepped away from the illusion as your image slowly vanished.  
  
“You don’t truly believe they’re going after royals, do you?” Heimdall asked quietly.  
  
Loki gingerly touched his chest where the spear had once pierced his heart, “No, just me.”


	45. Chapter 45

Natasha was leaning against the opposite wall with her arms crossed when you came out. Her face lit up with a smile when she saw you dressed.  
  
“C’mon.” She said, grabbing your arm and leading you up to the kitchen.  
  
You didn’t mention your conversation with Loki and decided to wait, you figured you could enjoy just being back with the Avengers for the first time in weeks.  
  
The elevator doors opened to a chorus of greetings, everyone happily shouting your name and rushing forward to hug you. You nearly teared up seeing them all again, you hadn’t realized how badly you missed them.  
  
“Don’t worry (y/n), we won’t let the bastards get you down.” Tony said, squeezing your shoulder and handing you a drink.  
  
You laughed weakly, “Thanks Tony.”  
  
Bucky wrapped his arm around your shoulder; apparently he was on watch duty for you in the event Thor was detained with Jane. You were pleased to realize how far Loki had come in trusting people.  
  
You and the rest of the Avengers sat around talking late into the night about everything that had transpired since the wedding. You were happy to see Jane, Darcy, and Mariah also spending time with everyone here at the tower.  
  
“Yea, Jane is about to pop.” Darcy said with a grin. She reached over and patted Jane’s swollen stomach. “Gonna be such a cutie.” She cooed.  
  
Jane rolled her eyes, “Yea thanks Darcy. Not quite though, another month or so.”  
  
“How has it been for you studying the Bifrost?” You asked.  
  
“The baby has hardly gotten in the way at all, if anything it’s just Thor.” Jane glanced at Thor who had his arm wrapped protectively around her.  
  
Then Bruce added, “Yea, well, you can’t blame him for wanting to keep watch over your guys' kid. I’m helping keep track of any major fluctuations in gamma radiation. I don’t want to risk any accidents. We don’t want another,” he waved at himself, “well, one of me.”  
  
“Aww, don’t be so hard on yourself, big guy,” Tony grinned, holding up his drink, “all of you is a great addition.”  
  
You patted Bruce’s knee, “We’re glad to have you Bruce.”  
  
You went to bed late that night, exhausted and in a much better mood. It had been therapeutic to see your friends after being gone for so long.  
  
The next few days were spent visiting the Avengers who hadn’t been called away on missions.  
  
Loki managed to check in on you once or twice but he seemed hesitant to risk anyone spying on him and see who he was communicating with. You knew that most of the palace was well aware of your presence so you didn’t know who he was hiding you from but you didn’t press the matter, you could see the stress weighing heavily on him and as much as you hated the idea of him having secrets, he had often alluded to darker forces that plagued him.  
  
One of your first fights as a married couple had started that way.  
  
Loki had had a bad dream again and he woke up thrashing about: He accidentally hit you in the face, leaving a noticeable bruise until he had calmed down enough to heal it. You held his face in your hands, stroking his cheeks and urging him to accept you were there and he was safe.  
  
“Please, just tell me what it was about. Maybe if you talk about it, it will make it better.”  
  
“NO!” He snarled, cutting you off and rolling away off the bed. He strode over to the wall and slammed his fist against it, cracking the mortar.  
  
He hit it several more times until his knuckles were raw and bloody, then finally he stopped as he leaned into the fractured wall.  
  
You hesitantly walked over to him and touched the bare skin of his back. He shuddered and shied away at your touch. The glamour wavered and you could see the sharp definitions of his scarred flesh.  
  
“Dammit Loki! I can handle it, just tell me, it will make you feel better!”  
  
Loki spun around, his eyes blazing, they seemed bright blue for a moment like when the tesseract had gripped his mind in madness. “You couldn’t possibly hope to understand!” He roared furiously. He spun around again and hit the wall with his other hand.  
  
You could hear a faint cracking of bones and he smiled weakly as tears rolled down his cheeks.  
  
You felt tears prick your own eyes, horrified at the pain he was inflicting on himself. “Loki, please,” you begged desperately, “please stop, you’re hurting yourself and you’re scaring me.”  
  
At your admission of fear his shoulders slumped, “Now do you see me as the monster I am?” He murmured, his whole body shaking.  
  
Tears rolled down your cheeks as you vehemently shook your head. Throwing caution to the wind, you wrapped your arms around his waist, “You’re not a monster, Loki. You’re in pain.” You whispered against his chilly back.  
  
His skin slowly started to turn blue again and frigid cold. You hissed in pain as the chill bit into you. Finally you were forced to pull away as it became too cold to handle.  
  
“See?” He muttered, finally turning around. His eyes were red as he glared down at you.  
  
“Loki please, that’s not fair. You know I’m human. Humans aren’t designed to handle that cold. You know that I would hold you in a heartbeat if it wouldn’t break me. If you give me a second, I’ll grab some clothes so I can stay by you, anything to protect you.”  
  
Loki’s eyes softened and he looked down at the floor, skin returning to its regular pallor. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled, “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you, you’re just trying to help.”  
  
You stroked his cheek with the back of your hand. “You’re in pain, I get that.” You were quiet a moment, “Just know that there’s nothing I won’t do to help you.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly and held his arms out, then seemed to think better of it and let them rest at his sides. “Thank you.” He murmured.  
  
You reached forward and hugged him. After another moment of hesitation he wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head, allowing you to nuzzle into the crook of his neck. “I love you.” You whispered.  
  
“I know. And I love you too.” He kissed your hair and breathed in heavily. “Thank you.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it.” You replied. The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes. “When you’re ready to talk about anything, I’ll be there, ok? I promise.” Loki nodded. You pulled away and grabbed his left hand, holding it up for him. As he looked at it, you traced your fingers along the faint scar that he had gained when he saved your life.  
  
A soft smile played at the corner of his mouth before he kissed you gently. “You’re right. I trust you.”  
  
“Just like I trust you.” You beamed at him. Then you noticed the blood still running down his knuckles and saw the slightly disfigured bones that must have been fracture when he struck the wall. “C’mon, let’s get you patched up.” Loki waved his hand, one after the other and the bones slid back into place, the cuts closing. “Show off.” You smirked.  
  
Loki laughed softly, “It was minor, nothing I can’t fix.”  
  
You looked down at the blood, now dried, on his knuckles, “Well, let’s get this washed off.” You kissed his hands before leading him into the bathroom. You wet a towel and slowly dabbed the blood off.  
  
“Thank you love.”  
  
You nodded again, “Now come, let’s go back to sleep. I’ll keep you safe, ok?”  
  
The two of you crawled back into bed, Loki slid lower under the covers so he could rest his head on your chest. The steady beating of your heart, accompanied by your fingers gently stroking his hair, lulled him to sleep.  
  


* * *

  
The memory worked as a comforting bedtime story and you quickly drifted off to sleep, memories of Loki’s warm body pressed against yours.  
  
When you woke up, you felt a pang through your heart, the empty bed a stark reminder of his absence.  
  
You hurried upstairs to breakfast. Once you started eating, Natasha announced that she had received an assignment from Fury and invited you and Bucky along. You eagerly accepted, desperate to ignore the melancholy growing in your chest at the absence of Loki.  
  
The next two months flew by, you threw yourself into work, forcing yourself to trust Loki’s judgement to have you stay on Midgard.  
  
Sometime during those months Clint and Natasha got engaged. You were quick to point out that it wasn’t nearly as dramatic as Loki’s request had been, but everyone was still ecstatic for the two assassins.  
  
Then suddenly you were back at the tower as news of Jane going into labour arrived. Everyone rushed to the hospital, eagerly gathering in the waiting room to see the new child. Jane and Thor had kept it a secret whether it was a boy or girl, so that added even more to the excitement.  
  
Eventually the hospital doors opened and a doctor walked out. He was mildly taken aback by the number of people waiting to see her, as well as their physiques. A bunch of superheroes is not something you see every day in a hospital waiting room. He quickly recovered and led everyone back to the room where Jane lay holding a blue bundle with Thor happily standing beside her.  
  
“His name is Terin.” Jane said, not looking up. She glowed with happiness as she cradled the child in her arms.  
  
“He’s beautiful…” You heard someone’s voice crack.  
  
You recognized that voice.  
  
Everyone spun around to see Loki standing in the corner. He tore his gaze from the baby and finally looked over at you, smiling weakly.  
  
The other Avengers shuffled out of the room, promising to go to the gift shop to get toys and allow you, Loki, Thor, Jane and the baby some space.  
  
“Loki!” You choked out, running over to him. You stopped abruptly as you saw his image flicker and realized it was just an illusion.  
  
“I’m so sorry love.” Loki murmured, looking down sadly.  
  
Again you smiled, teary eyed and shook your head, “It’s ok, I understand, really.”  
  
“I’ve tried to visit more but…” He trailed off.  
  
“No, no, I’m glad you’re here to meet your nephew.”  
  
Loki nodded and slowly walked over to Jane. She and Thor had watched your exchange in silence.  
  
“Thank you brother for being able to attend this moment, it means the world to me.” Thor murmured.  
You smiled, any jealousy you had for Loki coming for Thor and not you was quickly forgotten as you saw the happiness in Thor’s face.  
  
“I couldn’t miss my brother’s son.” Loki mumbled, looking down at the bundle.  
  
Jane finally handed the baby to Thor who held it up for Loki to see.  
“His name is Terin.” Thor whispered proudly.  
  
“He has Thor’s eyes.” Jane added quietly, since Terin was asleep.  
  
Loki grinned, “He’s wonderful.”  
  
“Loki, Jane and I have talked. We want you to be the godfather.” Loki looked up in surprise, apparently he was familiar with that earth custom. “The one to take care of him, should the need ever arise.” Thor added.  
  
Loki nodded silently and swallowed hard. “Thank you brother, I’m honoured.” He finally managed. “When all of this… business in Asgard blows over, I truly hope to be able to hold him.”  
  
Jane looked over at you. “We’re making you, (y/n), the unofficial godmother. Darcy will be the actual godmother, but I think Terin would do better with you and Loki. Obviously that’s assuming the worst, and not that it’ll ever come to that, I just figured you should know.”  
  
You beamed, “That’s amazing! Thank you, we won't let you down. Of course I highly doubt it will be necessary but still.” You started to babble nervously, overcome with emotions.  
  
There was a loud clearing of throats at the door and everyone turned around, “Can we see the baby now?” Steve asked feebly.  
  
The rest of the Avengers were gathered around, holding various gifts from the shop.  
  
“Right of course!” You glanced at Loki.  
  
He nodded hurriedly and motioned for you to go with him into the hallway.  
  
“I’ve missed you so much.” Loki whispered, standing as close to you as he dared.  
  
You smiled up at him, “I’ve missed you too.”  
  
“Please forgive me for coming to this when I’ve been absent from you for so long.”  
  
You shook your head, “No, it’s fine, I completely understand.” You sighed heavily. “How much longer do you think it will be?”  
  
For a brief moment, Loki’s words came back to you about what he said to Thor. ‘ _I hope I will be able to hold him._ ’ That was a curious way of phrasing it. Not that he looked forward to it… You tried to shake away the thought, probably reading into it too much.  
  
You looked closer at Loki, studying him carefully. He looked worse than ever. His skin was pale and sickly, the dark circles under his eyes were nearly bruises now. His usually slicked back hair, neat and well kept, seemed wrong somehow. Like he had forced it into normalcy just for this meeting but that it hadn’t stayed like that very often.  
  
Loki shook his head tiredly, “I don’t know.”  
  
“None of this has to do with that stupid immortality, does it?” You growled, suddenly suspicious.  
  
Loki shook his head and laughed weakly, “No, I promised, and I’ve held true to that.” He sighed, “It’s dangerous times, it’s merely taxing. I’m fine, don’t worry.”  
  
“Fine doesn’t mean fine.” You muttered. “And you know I can’t help but worry about you, I’m your wife, I love you more dearly than anyone.”  
  
“Ahh yes. I forgot that fine isn’t good enough for you.” Loki smirked ruefully. “There is nothing to be concerned about. All is well.”  
  
There was that flicker in his eyes and you vaguely wondered if he was lying.  
  
“Promise?”  
  
Loki glanced away as though someone that you couldn’t see was talking to him. “I’m sorry, darling, I love you, but I have to go. Take care of them won’t you? Please?” He smiled and vanished.  
  
Tears filled your eyes as you realized that he didn’t give you time to respond. You quickly shook your head and walked back into the hospital room.  
  
Just as you entered, a thought struck you: Loki hadn’t agreed to your promise.  
  
You couldn’t dwell on it for instantly everyone was calling you over and the joy of new life quickly filled the room and your mind.


	46. Chapter 46

Lady Sif’s blade swung wide, easily missing Loki’s head. He jumped back a few paces, righting himself as he made to retaliate, but Sif pulled a sharp feint, knocking Loki to the ground.  
  
“Ouch.” You said, wincing at the image of Loki flat on his back. You glanced back up at the real person sitting beside you, who held his hand up and was conjuring a television-like illusion.  
  
Loki nodded sagely, “Yes, but there’s more.” You watched Loki roll over as he slowly sat up, propped up by his elbows. Sif turned away, grinning triumphantly as Thor and the other warriors cheered her on. Loki sighed, clearly not enjoying this part. An image of Thor walking over to Loki, still laughing, appeared. Loki’s gaze darkened but he allowed it to continue. You weren’t sure why but didn’t interrupt.  
  
“She is the goddess of war, brother.” Loki’s voice spoke for Thor’s illusion.  
Then the Loki beside you smirked, mirroring the actions of the illusion lying on the ground. “Yes,” Loki recited for his own illusion, “she may be the goddess of war, but I,” Loki’s illusion trailed off dramatically, pointing at Sif’s boots, “am the god of mischief.”  
  
The female warrior had turned to leave the sparring ring. Right as Thor looked over at Sif, the laces on her boots caught and she fell to the ground in an angry heap.  
  
The illusion Loki burst out laughing as he jumped to his feet. Thor chuckled but shook his head reproachfully.  
  
The illusion vanished as Loki looked up at you. You had started laughing as soon as you caught his trick. Loki grinned proudly, pleased that he had entertained you.  
  
“Loki, you ass.” You laughed, shoving him good naturedly. “Speaking of which, the other warriors look like they have a few up theirs.”  
  
Loki nodded, “They do indeed.”  
  
You fell quiet after a moment, “Did that happen often?” You questioned hesitantly, Loki never looked too fondly on his childhood.  
  
Loki sighed as he looked away from you. “From time to time, yes. My skills in battle are not adept to one versus one, face to face fighting, or sword dueling really. I use magic.” Loki held his hand palm up as green stars shimmered over it. You smiled admiringly at them. “Also, if I’m being quite honest-”  
  
“Which you rarely are.” You interrupted with a light kiss.  
  
Loki blushed and looked in your eyes, he smiled softly, “Which I rarely am,” he agreed, “she is a talented warrior. Her title is well fought and earned.”  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll never tell her you said something so nice.”  
  
Loki kissed you back, “Yes, I do have a reputation to uphold after all.”  
  
You giggled lightly, then straightened up again, “So what’d Thor do afterwards?”  
  
Loki shrugged, “What warriors generally do after a hard day training, they feasted. The moment was quickly forgotten and fell into the blur of all the other days of our youth.”  
  
“What about you?”  
  
“I dealt with it. I never expected to win a fight in that style, I had agreed with Thor not to use magic so I really didn’t stand much of a chance.” He looked away bitterly.  
  
“Hey, Loki,” you gently touched his cheek so he looked back at you, “that doesn’t matter. You work with the abilities that you have. And your skill with magic is pretty damn good.” Loki frowned ruefully. “The best I know.”  
  
He rolled his eyes, though a trace of pride still showed in his straightened shoulders, “The only you know.”  
  
“Guess I’m setting the bar pretty high for any sorcerers I ever meet.” You smiled warmly at him, urging him to believe that your admiration was genuine.  
  
Loki smiled and tilted his head, “thank you love.” He stroked your arm gently. “It’s nice to hear someone speaking highly of me,” he hesitated then mumbled quietly, “even if it’s just idle flattery.”  
  
You pulled away and shoved his chest in annoyance, “Listen dumbass, I’m being serious.” You growled. “You’re more than capable in your own abilities and fighting style. If nothing else, there’s no way Thor would just let you tag along out of pity; you have earned every right to fight alongside him and the other so called ‘real’ warriors. You’re as much of a real warrior as them, you fight with your wits, not just your muscles. You’re a hell of a tactician and invaluable to any battles you were a part of.”  
  
Loki looked at you dubiously, though hopeful you were being genuine, “You think so?”  
  
“You held your own flawlessly with anything earth threw at you. The only time you had troubles was when we tried to take on an army or they fought dirty. Kidnapping someone’s partner and holding them at ransom makes it hard to fight. If someone had fought Thor under penalty of your death, he would’ve gotten his ass kicked. There’s no difference.”  
  
“Thank you.” He paused. “Although, with respect, that was Midgard.”  
  
“Thor speaks highly of your abilities, that should count for something, right?”  
  
Loki wrapped his arms around you and held you close. “And your word means all the realms to me. I," he faltered for a moment, then spoke forcefully as though confirming it to himself, "I trust you.”  
  
“Good.” You pecked his cheek before nuzzling further into his chest. “I love you, ok?”  
  
“I love you too.” Loki was quiet, then his voice altered drastically, “Are you ready (y/n)?”  
You slowly stirred, then jolted awake as Bucky Barnes’ voice repeated, “(Y/n), I said, are you ready?”  
  
You quickly nodded, trying to regain your bearings.  
  
Right.  
  
You were flying somewhere over France, about to parachute down with the Black Widow and Ex-Winter Soldier.  
  
“Yep!” You said as you stood up, quickly strapping on a parachute. As you moved, you tried to shake the memory of Loki from your mind: you had to focus on the mission at hand.  
  
“I can’t believe I let you two talk me into this, Loki is going to kill me if he finds out.”  
  
“Oh come on,” Natasha’s voice came from near the opening backdoor, “where’s your sense of adventure?”  
  
“Not next to an overprotective demigod’s wrath.” Bucky grumbled.  
  
You smirked at him before slowly backing to the door, “Last one down is a nerd.” You called, jumping backwards and managing a flip before angling yourself into a straight swan dive. You could sense Natasha’s presence nearby but you quickly returned your attention to the designated drop zone. Nothing like a five thousand foot free fall to get the blood rushing.  
  


* * *

  
The mission went smoothly, lasting only a week or so. It was one of many that you had taken since Thor and Jane’s baby had been born. You kept yourself constantly busy, trying to push away the ever-present mixture of ache and worry about Loki’s absence but it still crept up from time to time.  
  
When you returned to the tower, you were exhausted. Nursing a few minor bruises and light contusions, you made your way back to your room for some much needed rest.  
  
You forced yourself to shower then quickly sank into bed, letting out a heavy sigh of relief. Before you could drift off into much deserved sleep, your thoughts flitted to your time with Loki on Asgard:  
  
“C’mon darling!” Loki called excitedly.  
  
“I’m coming!” You laughed, chasing after him. His excitement was contagious.  
  
The two of you arrived at a pair of massive double doors. Loki had his hands on the handles and kept looking over his shoulder at you expectantly. His eyes sparkled with unbridled joy, clearly whatever was behind these doors was a great source of happiness to the trickster.  
  
“No wait!” He turned around and grabbed you, covering your eyes with his chilly hands.  
  
From beneath the covered lids, you rolled your eyes, “Listen dumbass…” You growled playfully, though you were still smiling happily with him.  
  
Loki moved closer to you, pressing his body against yours. You could hear the doors open and figured he was using magic. Very slowly he pushed you forward, still holding you tight against his body. It was awkward moving but Loki’s obvious excitement helped your patience.  
  
After what felt like several minutes, you came to a stop. “Ok.” Loki breathed into your ear. “Open your eyes.” He said as he removed his hands.  
  
You did as he asked and looked around, gasping in surprise.  
  
You were in a massive library, the type you had only ever read about. Even the extensive libraries that S.H.I.E.L.D. had access to couldn’t compare with this one.  
  
It was multiple stories tall with countless aisles stretching off in every direction. Loki had managed to position you at the very heart of it. You glanced back in the direction you must have entered from, and saw that the aisle was lined with row upon row of books.  
  
The lighting was slightly dimmer than natural sunlight and you saw that the windows were made of thin, nearly transparent marble sheets. It would prevent the countless books from sun damage.  
Even as you admired the massive building, there were a few people quietly milling around, going about their daily business.  
  
“It’s beautiful, Loki.” You breathed out.  
  
Loki nodded eagerly, “Isn’t it? I’m told some of Midgard’s greatest collections of literature imitate it. The Library of Alexandria, one of Midgard’s seven wonders as I’m told, was based in part of various sections of this library. It’s a shame that I never got the chance to see it.”  
  
“You’re not the only one who thinks it’s a shame.” You muttered, still looking around in awe.  
  
He continued to gaze around the vast expanse and sighed happily, this collection of knowledge truly was his element. You trailed your finger along the spine of a random book, entranced by its texture. Who knew just how much information was contained in this place? You tried asking Loki.  
  
“Scholars spend lifetimes, Asgardian lifetimes that is, studying and collecting it all. We try and gather knowledge from all the realms. Of course, so much more is kept on computers or other more advanced devices, but sometimes it’s easier to keep it in written form and other times it’s just nicer to feel the weight of the book.”  
  
You nodded, mouth still agape, trying to comprehend everything he was telling you and the building around you. “It’s amazing.” You reiterated for what felt like the hundredth time.  
  
Loki chuckled softly, delighted at seeing you shared his enthusiasm. “Come, I’ll show you my favorite place to read, after that, I think I’ll leave you to explore.”  
You wrenched your attention back to him as he led you along, pointing out odds and ends as he walked.  
  


* * *

  
The memory worked as a bedtime story and you quickly fell asleep.  
  


* * *

  
You jolted awake, gasping in surprise, “Natasha! What the hell?” You yelled, once you registered it as the as the red-haired assassin shaking you out of sleep.  
  
“Good morning to you too.”  
  
You rolled your eyes, groaning as you lifted your pillow up and covered your face, “Go away Tasha, I’m sleeping.” Your voice was muffled under the pillow.  
  
Natasha laughed, “Not a chance, (y/n). You and I are going shopping.” You grunted in confusion so she continued, “Wedding dress. Clint and I are getting married officially and I want a wedding dress.”  
  
You slowly lifted your head from under the pillow and eyed her incredulously, “Really?”  
  
She nodded, “Yep. Then afterwards we’re kidnapping Terin for a bit.”  
  
You laughed softly, thinking of your nephew. The baby Asgardian was proving to be quite the handful for Jane and Thor. “Yea, alright. That sounds good.”  
  
“Now get up, we leave as soon as you’re ready.”  
  
You and Natasha spent the day looking at wedding dresses. Natasha had had her fair share of fake weddings throughout her work so she knew which parts she liked and which she didn’t. Clint was her oldest and closest friend and she wanted to share this experience with him. The archer had of course happily agreed. So you helped Natasha try on wedding dresses all day. Afterwards you returned to the tower.  
  
Jane and Thor were splitting their time between her lab in New Mexico and the floor Tony had devoted to Jane and Thor as their own personal apartment. They would be in New York for a few more days before returning to the lab.  
  
Every time you saw Terin, a pang of longing went through your heart, thinking of Loki.  
  
Thor was quietly sympathetic but overall never discussed it with you. In fact, the Avengers in general, treated Loki’s absence with eggshell delicacy. While no one let you focus on it, no one expressly mentioned that he wasn’t around. Even so, the longer his absence stretched on, the more stressed you became.  
  
Natasha and Clint’s wedding came, and while it was a grand affair, it was still a small scale event – much to Tony-genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist-Stark’s chagrin.  
  
Before the ceremony, Natasha asked how you were doing. You assured her you were fine, since it was her day after all, and forced a smile. The ceremony truly was beautiful and the reception afterward was enjoyable. However, when the first slow song came on, you quietly turned down Bucky’s hesitant offer to dance. You left to the hotel shortly after and quickly fell asleep.  
  


* * *

  
Time passed at strange rates, sometimes it would fly by, other times it seemed to move at a standstill. You tried to maintain some sense of normalcy but after those magical weeks with Loki on Asgard, life on earth just couldn’t compare. You started to wonder if it had even been real.  
  
You continued to join Natasha and Bucky on a number of light S.H.I.E.L.D. missions. Nothing serious, just a few crime rings and terrorist organizations.  
  
One night, back at the tower, you lay tossing and turning in your bed, unable to sleep. You let out a heavy sigh, thinking of Loki’s arms wrapped around you, the light rise and fall of his chest as he slept beside you.  
  
There was only one pillow on your bed.  
  
It was after midnight and you crawled out of bed. You smiled briefly, realizing you were wearing your green pajamas again. You silently padded to the elevator and upstairs to the library. As you walked along the rows of bookshelves, you glanced over at your old reading spot and sighed. When you reached Loki’s room, you knocked out of habit.  
  
It was silent.  
  
You weren’t surprised but a small part of you had dared to hope.  
  
The door shut soundlessly behind you. You looked around the room and sighed heavily, no one was there of course. But you had already come so far…  
  
Wordlessly, you slipped into the bed and curled up by Loki’s pillows, inhaling deeply; they still smelled of him. A small smile played on your lips as you curled up tighter under his thick green blankets. You hugged the pillow close, trying to picture your beloved husband in your arms. Then slowly, you faded off to sleep.  
  
You opened your eyes and looked around the room, blinking groggily. You swore you heard movement.  
“Hello?” You mumbled thickly through the haze of sleep. You couldn’t help but feel like you weren’t quite awake. Something was strange. There was movement in the corner of the room and a dark figure stepped forward.  
  
You squinted your eyes, trying to see who it was, but you couldn’t move to get a better look.  
  
“Loki?” You asked uncertainly. The figure shuffled closer, it seemed to moan at you but you couldn’t decipher any words. “Who are you?”  
  
Terrified, you could feel your heart thundering in your ears, but for whatever reason, you were frozen in place.  
  
The figure stumbled forward and you could just begin to make out its pale skin and raven black hair. Your eyes widened in realization, first elation as you realized it was Loki, but it quickly switched to horror: something was wrong.  
  
His movements were harsh and unnatural, like he was in pain. For whatever reason, you couldn’t see his face and it terrified you, even when he was a breadth away, you couldn’t make out the distinct cheekbones, thin lips, pale skin, or most of all, his beautiful piercing green eyes.  
  
The figure, Loki, whatever it was, moaned again, then he reached for you.  
  
As his cold fingers brushed your cheek, the spell was broken and you could move again. At the same time you regained control of your limbs, a burning spread through your body, complete agony everywhere. The room seemed to engulf in flames and taunting laughter and screams echoed from all corners.  
  
Shaking in agony, you tried to escape his touch, as another scream filled the air.  
  
You didn’t realize it had been wrenched from your own lips until you felt someone shaking your shoulder and anxiously calling your name.  
  
Looking over, you saw Bucky kneeling beside the bed, staring at you wide eyed.  
  
Finally your scream stopped and you looked back around the room. It was just before dawn, there were no signs of the flames or the haunting screams, and the dark figure was gone.  
“(Y/n), are you ok?” Bucky repeated.  
  
You looked over at him, still trembling. “I, I, yea.” You stammered before trailing off, looking away from him. With a shaking hand, you smoothed your fingers through your hair. “What are you doing in Loki’s room?”  
  
“Thor called a little bit ago, he asked me to check on you, didn’t say why. So I went to your room and you weren’t there. I almost woke up Nat but then I wondered if you would be here and decided to check first. Glad I did, you looked like you were having a horrible dream. What are you doing here?”  
  
You sat up slowly and rubbed your eyes, “I couldn’t sleep.” You muttered tiredly.  
  
“Miss Loki, huh?” Bucky asked with a rueful smile.  
  
You nodded and sighed, “Yea. I’m worried about him. He was so strange suddenly after the dark elves attacked us.” Bucky frowned thoughtfully. “I wonder how Thor knew to check on me.”  
  
He shrugged, “No idea, lucky guess?” He was quiet for a moment, “Listen, I understand bad dreams, do you need to talk about it?” He offered hesitantly.  
  
“I thought someone was in the room, and then there was fire everywhere and everything hurt like hell.”  
  
“Someone in the room? Did you see who?”  
  
You shook your head, “No, it was just dark.” You were quiet a moment, thinking about the raven hair. “For a second, it kinda made me think of Loki, but I couldn’t see his face. It was weird.”  
  
“Huh… c’mon, it was probably just a bad dream, let’s go get breakfast, try and forget about it.”  
  
“Yea alright, thanks Bucky.” You smiled weakly.  
  
“Sure thing.”  
  
The two of you slowly made your way upstairs. The only other person in the tower right now was Natasha and the sun was just starting to rise so she was still asleep. Even as you ate, trying to shake off the memories of the dream, you couldn’t help but think something was wrong.  
  
“Hey you two.” Natasha said with a yawn as she entered the kitchen a short time later. “You’re up early.”  
  
“Bad dream, couldn’t sleep.” You muttered around your breakfast. Bucky nodded.  
  
“Sorry to hear.”  
  
After the three of you finished eating, you decided to watch TV on the couch. You still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.  
  
The elevator doors opened and you spun around as you heard voices talking from within.  
“Hello my friends!” Thor called happily, rushing into the room. He was carrying a large diaper bag slung over his shoulder. Jane followed after, baby carrier in arm with baby Terin inside.  
  
“Jane! Thor!” You jumped up and ran over to the couple, greeting them happily.  
  
Natasha snuck past while Jane was distracted and carefully grabbed Terin. She spun around and began bouncing him on her hip, cooing softly as she moved. “You’re so cute! Yes you are!” She started babbling in Russian.  
  
You laughed softly as Thor and Jane set down their things. “Careful Jane,” you muttered, “If you leave them alone too long, you might lose your kid.”  
  
Natasha playfully scowled at you before returning her attention to Terin. “We’ll have you speaking fluent Russian like your aunt Natasha in no time, won’t we?”  
  
“Does he know the All Language?” You asked Thor.  
  
“Won’t know yet.” Thor replied, smiling at Natasha.  
  
“Wouldn’t that be fascinating?” Jane beamed. “He’s still just speaking mostly in gibberish.”  
  
Thor laughed. Then his face straightened and he motioned you away from the others. “I wish this were simply a friendly visit but…” He trailed off when you were out of earshot of the others.  
  
“How’d you know to call Bucky?” You demanded.  
  
“So I was right.”  
  
“I had some weird dream, probably right as you called, Bucky woke me up from it.”  
  
Thor swallowed, “what was your dream? I have long since learned to take strange ones lightly.”  
  
“I slept in Loki’s room, for whatever reason I couldn’t fall asleep in my own.” Thor smiled knowingly. You continued, “But there was some figure in the room making noises, I couldn’t see its face. Then it touched me and the room was on fire and everything hurt like hell, worse than any pain I’ve ever experienced.” You paused for a moment and furrowed your brow as you thought, “It wasn’t just physical though. It was despair too, like I would never be happy again and just every possible thing that could go wrong would, like everyone I loved was dead.” You shuddered, trying to shake the feeling.  
  
“Did anything about the figure stand out? Did you recognize it?” Thor asked seriously, his blue eyes searching yours.  
  
“No,” you paused, “I dunno. Maybe? The hair made me think of Loki’s, it was black like his.”  
  
Thor raised an eyebrow, “Black is not a particularly uncommon hair color.”  
  
“I know. It was the length and style too, and something about the presence, like you can almost sense who someone is once you really know them. I wish I could see his face though.”  
  
“The pain you experienced is most unusual but,”  
  
You cut him off, “How did  _you_  know to call?”  
  
Thor shifted uncomfortably, “I don’t know.” You raised an eyebrow. “I just woke up suddenly and I was concerned for your safety.”  
  
“Do you think it was Loki?” Thor frowned doubtfully. “If it was him, who else would he contact but you and me?”  
  
“(y/n), he is realms away, there are far easier ways of communicating than vague visions.”  
  
“Not if he can’t communicate. What if something is wrong? When was the last time you heard from him anyway? He hasn’t contacted me in any way since Terin was born.”  
  
Thor frowned, “I have not talked with him either.”  
  
“What are we whispering about?” Natasha whispered, suddenly by your side.  
  
You hadn’t noticed her presence, or that the whole room was silent. Even Terin seemed to be holding his breath. Bucky raised an eyebrow.  
  
“Err.” You looked at Thor nervously.  
  
“Lady Jane, perhaps we should,” Thor trailed off, trying to think of something.  
  
“Perhaps you should… tell us what you were talking about?” Natasha offered.  
  
“I had a bad dream last night and Thor knew to call.” You muttered. “I was wondering why.”  
  
“Yea, Bucky just told me about the dream. Do you think it was Loki?”  
  
“Do you?” You asked her.  
  
“This is magic and monsters, I was never trained for that, but this sounds like the type of thing that fits in that category.”  
  
“When was the last time we heard from him?” Bucky asked no one in particular.  
  
“Exactly!” You exclaimed. “Thor, can we please talk to Heimdall? Just quickly there and back on the Bifrost. Just stop into Asgard for a moment, if it’s nothing, I won’t even ask to see Loki. Just let me check with Heimdall to see that Loki’s ok.”  
  
Thor frowned. “Asgard isn’t safe right now, Lady (y/n), but it’s in quite capable hands.”  
  
You pouted your lips pleadingly, “Just five minutes, in and out, only Heimdall would know.”  
Thor looked over at Jane, Natasha, and Bucky.  
  
“Loki is her husband, and your brother after all.” Jane said slowly, “If it were the other way around, wouldn’t you want Loki to help me?”  
  
You shot Jane a grateful look.  
  
Thor sighed, “Very well. Just a quick visit. We will talk to Heimdall but once Loki is accounted for, we will return to Midgard immediately, understand?”  
  
You nodded eagerly, “Thank you so much Thor!” You hugged him as tightly as you could.  
  
After saying goodbye to the others and leaving Bucky and Natasha on strict orders to keep Jane and Terin safe, Thor led you over to the balcony, sighing as he walked.  
  
“I don’t want to keep you from Jane either,” you muttered once you were outside, “I just want to check on Loki.” You swallowed, your throat feeling tight at the mention of his name.  
  
Thor nodded, “Yes, I do care for the well-being of my brother also. I’ll have to berate him for making us worry.”  
  
“You and me both.” You grumbled.  
  
“Heimdall, if you please.”


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to suffer little ones!

You paced furiously around the observatory. “Gone? What do you mean gone? How is he just gone?”  
Thor stood a few feet away from you, watching in silence.  
  
Heimdall shook his head, “I cannot see him. Loki knows how to hide himself from me though.”  
  
“This is different.” You insisted angrily. “Surely there are places in these realms that you can’t see? You thought Loki was dead when he fell off the Bifrost. Maybe he’s in a place like that?”  
  
Heimdall frowned thoughtfully. “It’s possible.”  
  
“This is my fault.” You groaned, “If I wasn’t fucking mortal, Loki wouldn’t be stuck trying to find a way to keep me safe.”  
  
“You cannot be blamed or punished for your origin of birth.” Thor interjected quietly.  
  
“Well, where was he last seen?” You asked, turning once more to Heimdall.  
  
“In the library.”  
  
You turned back to Thor, “Thor, when you broke the bridge, were any chunks salvaged?”  
  
“Perhaps, if they were, they would be in the library.” He replied uncertainly.  
  
You took off at a dead sprint to the palace. After a moment you yelped in shock as Thor grabbed you, flying at full speed.  
You barely paused for breath when the two of you landed, instead choosing to continue your mad dash to the library.  
  
“Where is it?” You growled.  
  
“The Bifrost piece?”  
  
You nodded, “Loki and I were both searching through old texts, looking for ways to increase lifespan. I learned a bit about the nature of the Bifrost.” You explained as you searched the many artifacts on display. Thor began looking with you.  
  
In about ten minutes or so, your eyes fell upon a small golden shard.  
  
“There!” It gleamed bright in the light.  
  
Thor hurried over to you and watched expectantly. Carefully removing the shard from its case, you started wandering around the room, looking for the secluded table that Loki preferred to work at. “I think he was kidnapped.” You muttered under your breath.  
  
“And why is that?”  
  
“Because he promised me. If Asgard is in danger he wouldn't leave. Which only leaves the possibility that he would be searching for a way to let me live longer, but he promised that he wouldn't. He said he wouldn’t do anything without me being involved.”  
  
Thor frowned hesitantly, “(Y/n)…”  
  
You glanced over your shoulder as you slowly moved the shard through the air. “Yea?”  
  
“I know he promised that, but Loki is known for his lies… Even if in his heart he is good, he still has a penchant for-”  
  
You cut him off with a glare before turning around and facing him directly. “It was on our wedding. When we placed our hands in the potion. He swore to me that he wouldn’t try anything without me.”  
  
Thor nodded slowly, though he continued to look unconvinced. You returned your attention to the shard, moving it nearer and nearer to Loki’s preferred seat. As you moved it to a spot behind the chair, it started to glow brightly, taking on its trademark rainbow hue.  
  
“Here.” You breathed softly as you started to saw at the air.  
  
“What is it? I don’t understand.”  
  
“The Bifrost is a portal between worlds. There are other portals, Loki’s a master of them, but surely he’s not the only one to know them all.” Thor raised an eyebrow at you, but you continued, “If someone opens a portal, it leaves a cut in the space where they traveled between. The Bifrost is able to cut into these holes.” Thor watched uncertainly as you continued sawing the air.  
  
After five minutes of nothing happening, Thor sat down. At ten minutes, he started to fidget. Fifteen minutes passed and you felt despair creeping into you. There was something wrong with Loki, something in your heart was certain of it, but you didn’t know anything more.  
  
“(Y/n)…” Thor said after twenty minutes, “I don’t think,”  
  
You pulled away from the spot in the air and smiled, eyes widening in anticipation. “Look.” You breathed excitedly. Thor squinted his eyes. If he tilted his head just right, there seemed to be a faint ripple in the air, like the air surrounding a fire. After another ten minutes of sawing, there was no denying the ripple. You carefully raised your hand and touched it, sliding your fingers through.  
  
They disappeared.  
  
Thor gasped in shock and sat up. “How?” He breathed.  
  
“I haven’t really understood that. I’ll leave that to Jane.”  
  
“Here.” Thor took the shard and started sawing the spot, allowing you a break.  
  
It had been an hour since the first ripple became visible and there was finally a gap large enough for your shoulders. “I can fit through.” You said.  
  
“You’re not going alone.” Thor growled.  
  
“I can’t ask you to go with. You have a wife and son to take care of.”  
  
“I also have a brother, and he would be devastated if something happened to his wife.” Thor offered a small smile, “And I certainly don’t want to lose my sister-in-law either, nor teammate of the Avengers.”  
  
You grinned back at him, “Shall we go through then?”  
  
“Yes, but me first.” You scowled at him. “We don’t know what’s through there, if it’s something dangerous, I’ll be able to handle it much better than you.”  
  
You sighed, “Fine, don’t think about leaving me.”  
  
“You have my word.”  
  
You waited and watched as Thor clambered into the rift, then you lithely followed after him.  
  
When you stood up on the other side, you pocketed the small shard and looked around. You were on a large flat island-like rock that appeared to be floating in space. There were more stones, rocks, and boulders dotting the landscape, but nothing of obvious note.  
  
“We could wander for days and not notice anything.” Thor muttered. “Stay here.” He spun his hammer around and then took off into the air, soaring high into the inky star-speckled sky.  
  
You watched him become a pinprick in the sky while gazing around. Turning your attention back to the landscape around you, you tried to see if there were any buildings or obvious holes in the ground where one might hide.  
  
Looking in every direction, you grew certain that this place was something of an island floating in space. It was completely void of color and apparently life. You jumped as a loud thud sounded beside you.  
  
It was Thor landing on the ground. “I saw a rock in that direction. I wish to inspect it.”  
  
“Lead the way.” You said as the two of you started walking slowly.  
  
“I’m hesitant to fly, I don’t know what creatures reside in this area.” Thor muttered as the two of you walked.  
  
“They snuck into Asgard undetected and kidnapped Loki. These things are dangerous.” You agreed.  
Thor inclined his head but remained quiet.  
  
With each passing minute, you grew increasingly concerned. Someone came from this place, ripped a portal into Asgard, and managed to kidnap a master of magic. On top of that, Loki was still a more than capable fighter and wickedly clever, which made whatever you were facing all the more daunting a challenge.  
  
“We’re nearing the rock.” Thor interrupted your thoughts, trying to stay as quiet as possible. You’d grown used to Loki’s stealth, so traveling with Thor felt loud and cumbersome, even if he was doing his best to remain silent. “There.” He pointed.  
  
You strained your eyes and made out the etchings on the rock, “I know that language.” You whispered. Thor looked at you questioningly. “Sort of. I remember Loki showing it to me. It goes without saying that it’s some ominous warning.”  
  
“Stay here.”  
  
“No.” Thor raised his eyebrows in surprise, “Loki might be through there, I’m not staying behind.” Thor opened his mouth to protest, “And if I stay back here, who knows what might come at me while I’m alone. We’re better off together.”  
  
Thor sighed, “Very well.” He chuckled softly, “You are as stubborn as my brother, and quite clever. I’m not sure it’s good to have you two so alike.”  
  
You smiled weakly, though worry and concern for Loki began churning your stomach again. Loki had many enemies, you remembered him reminding you. Anyone who could bright out that much fear in him would be more than a match for you.  
  
“Are your weapons prepared?” Thor asked. You nodded, appreciating infinitely that Thor suggested you be armed before returning to Asgard – in case there was another dark elf attack or something similar to your last time there. Hearing that you were ready, Thor said, “Good. Let’s go.”  
  
You could only pray you weren’t too late.  
  


* * *

  
 _  
\- Many months prior –  
  
Loki sat at the library table, deep in thought as he continued to study. He desperately sought a way to never lose you, while at the same time trying to figure out where the dark elves came from.  
He didn’t have to figure out the second part though, Loki knew deep in his being, but he refused to believe it. Loki simply was biding his time before they would come back. It was a lie thinking that Asgard was in danger, only Loki. _He  _was after Loki, no one else._ He  _could control an army, twisting their minds and forcing them to_ his _will. Loki sighed. Perhaps he should be finding a way to protect himself and not lengthen your life. But at the same time, Loki forced himself to not believe that_ he  _was coming, but as before, Loki knew that was a lie.  
  
With your absence, his dreams had returned.  
  
So with his forced regiment of staying awake to avoid them, Loki took advantage of it and continued searching.  
  
But that day, as Loki diligently studied along, sleep wavering at the corners of his vision, they came for him.  
  
The ripple of air behind him, as a portal through space was torn, passed Loki’s awareness. When the creatures broke free, Loki was far too weak from lack of sleep and quickly fell. He was reconciled to it, though not surprised, when they kept him alive, spiriting him away to the source of his nightmares.  
  
He could barely move in the restraints, quickly passing out as they began the first round of poison.  
  
When he awoke, he knew the horror of that year was back. And this time, he had something to lose, someone he wished to protect: someone who needed him as much as he needed them.  
  
That pain mixed with the very first tortures, but he knew it was nothing compared to what was to come.  
  
Then, as usual, it stopped for a while, allowing him some time to allow fear to eat at him. He was resigned to it, but it hurt no less.  
  
Then suddenly, _he _was in the room, and Loki knew true pain had found him. True horror and evil looked upon Loki. All he could do was lift his head and stare his tormentor in the eye, cursing this being to the darkest corners of existence.  
  
His tormentor, Thanos. Then real pain began.  
  
Loki clenched his teeth, the last of his willpower going into fighting back his screams. He knelt before Thanos, arms tied down with viciously sharp razor wire. Tears streamed down his face and he could feel blood seeping from his wounds.  
  
“You thought you could evade me, Asgardian?” Thanos grinned cruelly. “You will know pain the likes of which no creature has felt before. However, I will leave you at the hands of Scourger. Your failure to do as I commanded will be the last thing you do.”  
  
Summoning energy from reserves unknown, Loki spat in Thanos’ face. “Wretch.” He managed to snarl, though his voice was far too weak to hold any real sting to the words.  
  
Thanos’ hand shot out, cracking against Loki’s cheek and his head snapped to the side. “Scourger!” Thanos bellowed.  
  
A monstrosity of a creature stepped forward. It was like a living skeleton of an ogre, too horrible for words to describe. The very sight was born from the depths of nightmares.  
  
More tears of pain rolled down Loki’s face and he tugged uselessly at his restraints, causing the sharp barbs to dig deeper into his skin.  
  
“I have business across the galaxies, but know that someday in the future, I will come for everyone you know.  But it will not matter. Know this, Asgardian, this visage will be the last thing you ever see.” Thanos’ face contorted into a perverse smile as the creature stepped before Loki.  
  
Thanos moved to the side while the creature gripped Loki’s head and held him firmly in place. With the other hand, Loki watched in horror as it pulled out a threaded needle and began its terrible work; first on his eyes.  
  
As Loki’s vision was shut away for the last time, a horrible wrenching scream tore from the very depths of his being. But soon the beast had clamped Loki’s mouth shut as well, continuing its work onto his lips until Loki’s last noises were muffled and choked out.  
  
Loki slumped over, never completely able to fall to the ground, for the barbs wrapped on his arms continued to hold him upright.  
  
He was barely aware of Thanos’ retreating steps. Then the Scourger began its merciless work on Loki. After many hours, though it felt like years, the creature stopped and Loki was given reprieve.  
  
Loki leaned, slumped forward, too weak to hold himself up, though his arms continued to protest vehemently against the razor like bands. No sound could escape his mouth as he knelt there, unable to truly gasp for breath.  
  
He tried to clear his mind, anything for a reprieve. Then he thought of you. How many days had it been since he last held you? Since you last lay with him?  
  
Those wonderful mornings when he would wake up, your bare form curled into his side and just lazily stroke your skin. How feather light you were, and the softness of your features.  
  
But you were not here.  
  
Loki was very much alone.  
  
Loki shut his eyes harder, not that he could open them anyways. He shook in grief and agony, wondering how long before the Scourger returned.  
_  
  


* * *

  
\- Present time –  
  
You and Thor dashed forward. As you neared the cave, you heard roars and screams coming from its depths. The sounds would haunt you for years.  
  
Once inside the cave, you had a brief chance to note a downward spiraling staircase. Then all hell broke loose as a small army of chitauri came running up, clearly guardians of this cave.  
“Odinson!” One shrieked as it registered Thor.  
  
Thor stepped in front of you, knocking them back with Mjolnir. You ducked down, using him as a shield as you fired clip after clip.  
  
“Come, (y/n)!” Thor called to you, fighting his way down the stairs.  
  
As you slowly descended, you could make out various cells along the ledges as well as tunnels leading off in every direction.  
  
It seemed to be a massive underground prison.  
  
While Thor led the way, you hesitated, noticing a particularly gaunt looking prisoner drag himself to the cell door.  
“Human?” He croaked. “Of Midgard?”  
You nodded slowly, unable to look away from the clearly dying man in front of you. One eye was clouded and probably blind. He was covered in oozing sores and badly wrapped injuries.   
“Asgardian?” He coughed weakly.  
Again, you nodded slowly, realizing he was pointing at the still fighting Thor. The prisoner’s greyed features split into a smile, lips cracking at the obviously foreign movement. Many of his teeth were missing, kicked out, or worse.  
“I was too… once.” He croaked.  
  
“What do you mean?” You asked quietly, unable to prevent yourself as you stepped forward.  
  
“All enemies of _him_ … we are kept here. The Scourger carries out its master’s bidding, punishing us for eternity, until sweet death frees us.” He whispered. It seemed to be taking all his strength and will to speak. “But you are free. Why are you here?” He asked slumping against the door as his legs gave out.  
  
“They took the love of my life, my husband.” You whispered, feeling your throat tighten in horror.  
  
“Oh child,” He whispered quietly. “Love.” The word seemed to please him. Then he shook his head, “There is no love here.”  
  
“I have to find him, I don’t care what it takes. I’ll die trying.”  
  
The man nodded slowly. “If you don’t die in the attempt, you’ll wish you had.”  
  
“I’m prepared for that.” You whispered, trying to keep fear from overwhelming you.  
  
The man smiled again, soft tears running down his face, “Will you tell me his name? The one who so holds your heart that you would risk a fate worse than death?”  
  
“Loki.” His name was sweet on your tongue and you couldn’t help but smile as you said it.  
  
The man frowned, recoiling back from you and shaking his head in horror. “Leave. You do not want to see him.”  
  
Cold fear gripped your heart with its claw-like hands, you stepped closer as the man quickly backed away. “What do you mean?” You pleaded desperately, searching his face for answers.  
  
“Loki… Loki angered  _him_ personally. There is no hope for either of you here.” Tears pricked your eyes and you shook your head, grasping the bars. “Leave while you can. There are no others whom  _he_  hates more.”  
  
“I can’t. If Loki dies, then I’ll die beside him.” You started looking around. You let out a small scream of surprise as a hand touched your shoulder.  
  
“It’s just me, lady (y/n). I found keys on one of the slain.” Thor looked at the prisoner you were talking to. “You’re Asgardian, yes?”  
  
The prisoner nodded, squinting his eyes. “Odinson, my prince.” He bowed his head, too weak to kneel.  
  
“What is this place?” Thor asked.  
  
“A prison to house those who displease  _him_.”  
  
Thor paled as he nodded slowly, “Thanos.” The prisoner shuddered but nodded. “Then we’ll release you all. I am here for my brother, do you know where he’s kept?”  
  
“At the bottom. There are none farther down than those who failed  _him_  completely.”  
  
“I thank you. When we have retrieved Loki, I will get you back to Asgard.” Thor looked at the other cells dotted around the spiraling pit. “We will get everyone from this place. No creature deserves this suffering.”  
  
“Thank you, my prince.” The prisoner breathed, “I doubt I am long for this life, but to know my corpse will not rot in this cell is gift enough.”  
  
“(Y/n), go about freeing the prisoners,” Thor commanded but you cut him off.  
  
“No, I’m sneaking down to Loki. This man says Loki is in great pain, I can’t fight an army like you can if you free prisoners, but I can find Loki and come back to you to get your help.”  
  
Thor was silent for a moment, eyeing you uncertainly. “Very well, I trust your judgement. Good luck.”  
  
“You too.”  
  
You walked over to the ledge, pulling out your claw like gloves as you moved. Then you slowly crawled over the ledge and started climbing down. It was a slow and arduous descent, constantly stopping as guards moved; some still running upstairs to stop the intruders, others continuing their patrols amongst the prisoners. Very few prisoners seemed to have the strength to stand at their cell doors, let alone acknowledge you or even the guards. There were constant echoes of pain as the constant agony dug into the many beings imprisoned here.  
  
You scrunched your eyes shut, trying to block out the haunted looks, only able to continue with the knowledge that somewhere far below you was Loki.  
  
Loki, your beloved friend, husband, and partner. The man who you owed so much to, and who you loved more than any other. You had to get to him, if only to die beside him.  
  
You finally reached the bottom and looked around, noticing a single tunnel leading away. Delicately, and made possible by years of practice, you crawled along the ceiling, constantly looking down in case someone would pass through. With each passing minute of silence, your fear increased. Loki should have the highest security. If not the largest number, then clearly something powerful beyond measure was guarding him.  
  
You swallowed dryly, doing your best to not think about it.  
  
There were fiery sconces every few feet, casting the hall in an eerie combination of flickering shadows. Soon the smell of blood filled your nose and you felt like retching. You swallowed hard, trying to ignore it, nightmarish visions of what lay beyond swarming through your mind.  
Then suddenly the tunnel ended and you stopped just outside a large domed room. You twisted your head, trying to see what was in there.  
  
Your heart shattered, you could feel it breaking. For the first time you truly understood the meaning of heartbreak as your mind struggled to understand the vision before you. Before, when Loki had been imprisoned by Dr. Braxton and you saw him in pain, you thought you knew heartbreak. But that… that was nothing compared to the sight before you now.  
  
At the center of the room was Loki.  
He was on both knees, hunched over and completely covered in blood. There was a black rag wrapped around his face, covering his eyes completely. His arms were bound to the ground with two fiery sconces where the wires met the floor. Upon closer inspection, you could see barbs on the wire digging deep into his flesh as rivulets of blood ran down his arms.  
  
Around his neck was a collar of the same material, also digging deep into his throat.  
Loki’s head was bowed low, seemingly too weak to hold up. The black curtains of his hair hung around his face, obscuring it from view. Blood ran down the many burns and gashes on his bare torso as well as his legs that were covered in tattered rags.  
  
Loki was so still that for a second you feared he was dead. Just barely, you could make out the weak rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.  
  
By the grace of years of training were you able to keep your head to look around the room and make sure he was alone. Then, slowly and carefully, you detached yourself from the ceiling, before gingerly landing on your feet.  
  
“Loki.” You whispered, choking back a sob.  
  
His shoulders moved vaguely but that was the only sign that he registered a presence.  
  
Still trying to remain quiet, lest your presence alert someone, you crept closer to him.  
  
“Loki.” You whispered louder, looking around anxiously.  
  
Finally he slowly lifted his head, turning his face around the room. When his curtain of black locks moved away and you could see his face clearly, your tears started to fall. He had a black mask over his eyes, a band wrapped all the way around his head, obstructing his vision. But all you could see was the vicious black thread sewn through his lips, more blood running from them.  
  
“Oh my love!” You nearly called out as you ran to him, gripping him tight in a hug. He whimpered at your touch and you forced yourself to pull away.  
You reached for the mask and he quickly shook his head, causing the collar like barbs to dig further into his throat.  
“Here.” You unsheathed your dagger and delicately cut the stitches, allowing him to speak.  
  
Tears started rolling down his cheeks from underneath the mask and he smiled, more blood running from his lips. “(Y/n).” He croaked. Your name tasted like honey in his mouth. You moved your hands back to touching the mask and he hissed sharply, “No, please.”  
  
“Why not?” You felt terrified.  
  
“Not now. I… don’t see me.” You could see that speaking pained him horrendously so you didn’t press the matter.  
  
Instead, you nodded slowly. “Ok.” You moved over to the wires and cut him free, one arm at a time. When the wires no longer held him upright, he collapsed forward, falling against you. He was too weak to hold himself up. “I have to leave the restraints on, if I take them out, you might bleed out.”  
  
“Yes.” Loki whispered, unable to nod again. After a second he forced himself to pull away, “(Y/n)!” He yelled.  
  
You spun around as a hulking beast appeared before you. It reached out at you and swatted you away, sending you flying against the wall and crumpling to the ground. You cried out in pain as Loki called your name again, looking around in blind terror. The beast started to approach you again and you tried to right yourself, still dazed and moving sluggishly from the blow. Then suddenly a grey object flew at the monstrosity, causing it to lurch forward. It spun around, looking for its assailant.  
  
“No!” Thor screamed, launching himself against the beast. The two struggled at each other as Mjolnir shattered bones.  
  
You pulled yourself to your feet and stumbled back over to Loki. He was still whimpering your name and searching blindly for you.  
  
“I’m here.” You whispered, kissing Loki’s bloodied forehead once you reached his side.  
  
Your head snapped around when a thunderous crash filled the room. The beast fell to the ground as Thor panted heavily before it. Then he ran over to you and Loki.  
  
“Brother!” Thor called, reaching out to grasp Loki, then he stopped as he saw his brother’s injuries.  
  
Loki slumped over again, barely moving. “You came for me.” Loki whispered softly, managing to smile once again.  
  
“Always.” You whispered.  
  
Loki felt Thor reach for the mask and he shook his head, grimacing in pain, “Not here.” Loki rasped.  
  
Thor ignored him and pushed the blindfold away.  
  
He recoiled in shock and stumbled back. You let out a sharp gasp as more tears streamed down your face. “Why didn’t you say anything?” You gasped at Loki, trying to take in the sight before you.  
Something resembling spikes were pressed onto his eyelids, holding them shut.  
  
“I didn’t want you to see this.” Loki whispered, trying to turn his head, but hissing as the collar dug into his skin.  
  
You slipped the blindfold back down and kissed his forehead, worrying about his injured lips. “We’ll get you healed, Loki.” You whispered soothingly, stroking his hand as you spoke.  
  
“What of the bindings on his arms?” Thor asked, trying to keep the horror from his voice.  
  
“I don’t want to risk him bleeding out by removing the them.” You explained.  
  
Thor nodded, “Right, I freed the last of the prisoners.”  
  
“Good work.” You smiled, then it faded as you looked back at Thor. “Now what?”  
  
“Loki, I’m sorry to ask you this, but can you contact Heimdall from this plane?”  
  
“Not in here.” Loki murmured, still leaning against you, unable to hold himself up.  
  
“If we can give him our location, he should be able to open the Bifrost. The stronger prisoners are fighting the last of the guards, but I’m sure Thanos can get more.”  
  
“Right.” You turned to Loki and lifted one arm over your shoulder. Another twinge of pain struck your heart as you realized the barbs were digging further into his skin.  
  
“I should carry him over my shoulders.” Thor muttered.  
  
“No, we don’t know if there’ll be more defenses. You need to be prepared to fight.”  
  
Thor pursed his lips before finally nodding and helping you lift Loki. With Thor’s help, you didn’t have to drag Loki, but it was still awkward to move. The two of you hurried down the hall, the sounds of fighting still coming from above.  
  
In what felt like an eternity, you and Thor made it to the surface, accompanied by a small army of freed prisoners.  
  
“Loki, can you do it now?” You murmured as you knelt down, still cradling Loki against you.  
  
He nodded slowly as the many prisoners gathered in a circle. Minutes ticked on as Loki lay there, completely still. Just as you started to grow worried again, a brilliant flash of light engulfed your small army. Then suddenly you were back in Heimdall’s observatory.  
  
“Lady (Y/n), Thor, what happened?” Came the guardian’s echoing voice.  
  
“We brought him home.” You whispered tearfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I took a leaf out of Norse mythology, a theory from the first Thor: TDW trailer, and an idea I had ages ago that I ended up writing down and just apologize now.


	48. Chapter 48

Most times the healing rooms on Asgard resembled a Midgardian hospital. Most times, and for most injuries.  
  
The tortures Loki endured were far worse than the average battle wounds. So you were of little surprise when the many healers pushing the floating gurney continued past the normal healing chambers.  
  
You ran along with them, desperately wanting to hold Loki, or at least touch him in some way, anything to reassure him that you were present. But there was no room as the many healers tried to inspect his wounds while still running at full speed.  
  
They finally slowed to a stop outside a set of massive golden doors. Sluggishly, as though they were rarely used, the doors opened to reveal a circular room with a tall gold domed ceiling. Artificial light that imitated the sun perfectly streamed in from every direction until the room was bathed in a soft golden light.  
At the room’s far end was a pool of crystal clear liquid. While at the center was a raised golden platform with a shimmering orb encasing it.  
  
You followed the healers into the room, pressing yourself against the wall nearest the door. Every part of you screamed to be at Loki’s side but you forced yourself not to get in the way of their work.  
  
The healers carefully transferred Loki onto the bed under the orb-like casing, one healer hurrying away from the room with the gurney. Immediately, the other healers set to work on Loki. He was shaking and writhing in pain, small whimpers forcing their way past his clenched teeth.  
  
One of the healers pushed away the blindfold, another gasped as they saw his injuries. There was a brief lull in activity as they seemed to consider how best to move forward. The healers spoke in hushed voices and you strained to hear, not daring to leave the wall lest you get in the way. You wanted to scream at them to hurry, fix him, help him, anything, but you held your tongue, trusting them to know what they were doing.  
  
Finally they set to work on his throat, slowly unwinding the sharply barbed wires, and then quickly covering the injuries to prevent him bleeding out. There was a moment of hushed argument, then suddenly they were moving Loki into the nearby pool. There appeared to be a table that could rise or fall, depending on how deep the patient needed to be kept. On either side, it was deeper so the healers could continue standing as they worked.  
  
Something about the liquid seemed to prevent blood flowing out and the heavy worry that plagued the air seemed to dissipate.  
  
Now working at a slower pace, mindful of their delicate work, the healers removed the wires from his arms.  
  
One of the younger healers blanched at the gruesome sight, stumbling backwards as she held back her nausea. You sank to your knees in horror at the sight.  
  
“(Y/n).” A faint whisper escaped Loki’s lips.  
  
One of the healers looked over to where you knelt, “She’s here.” They assured him. Loki smiled, seeming to relax.  
  
Hours passed as the healers attended to the injuries on his body. Occasionally they would glance at his face, clearly not wanting to face the daunting task of the thorns on his eyes.  
  
At long last, wrapped almost completely in fresh white bandages, the healers turned their attention to his face.  
  
“We’ll want to put him under.” One of the healers murmured. There were quiet sounds of agreement.  
One reached for a pillow, holding his head above the liquid, as the table lowered. The healers began to delicately work on his lips, removing the last of the wires before covering his mouth with a gold floating dust. You figured it was the equivalent of an oxygen mask, though far more high-tech than anything earth was capable of.  
  
One healer moved the pillow away and Loki was completely submerged.  
  
“Lady (y/n).” Another healer called in a harsh and commanding tone. You perked up, awaiting orders. “Come here.”  
  
You scrambled over to the pool as the healer motioned for you to enter. You glanced down at your catsuit that was still covered in blood, dust, and grime. She saw your hesitation and waved her hand: you found that you were now in a white gown. Magic rarely surprised you anymore so you simply nodded weakly then slipped into the pool.  
  
The liquid was warm, like the first warm day of summer, but not uncomfortably so. The liquid aspect of it barely registered. The only reason you knew there was liquid was the slightly hindered movement when you turned to face Loki. You would later learn that the liquid was called Cyra.  
  
It occurred to you that the one or two small cuts you had sustained getting to Loki no longer bothered you. Evidently there was also an analgesic quality to this liquid.  
  
“I’m Eir.” The healer who had motioned for you to move said quietly, she was clearly the head healer.  
  
“Hi.” You mumbled at her, not wanting to look away from Loki.  
Loki was completely submerged, as well as unconscious by now, so he didn’t register your presence.  
Eir nodded then produced a series of small golden knives, tweezers, and scissors. She stood on Loki’s left side, by his head, and you were on his right. The other healers watched warily as Eir started to delicately cut away the thorns. You covered your mouth, trying to stop the tears streaming down your face.  
  
Very carefully, Eir removed the last thorn from his right eye, then moved and repeated the process on his left. Loki showed no signs of responding but you knew he was unconscious, though you still feared the worst. Eir produced a bandage and slowly wrapped his eyes again, all the while keeping him submerged.  
  
An audible sigh of relief filled the air when Eir finally pulled her hands away. “Good work everyone.” She spoke softly, the room seemed to demand hushed voices.  
  
“Thanks.” You whispered to everyone who had helped.  
  
The other healers nodded, then slowly climbed out of the pool and made their way out of the room, leaving only you and Eir in hushed silence.  
  
“Have a seat.” She ordered gently.  
  
You glanced over and saw a platform had risen in the liquid and you could sit down, just slightly higher than the platform Loki was resting on, though still in the liquid.  
  
“Thank you for everything you did.” You mumbled. You held your hand out just short of Loki, clenching it into a fist as you fought the desire to touch him.  
  
Eir nodded and smiled at you tiredly. She mirrored your actions, sitting down on Loki’s other side. After a long period of silence, she sighed. “I’ve taken care of this foolish prince since he came here bawling his eyes out as a babe from Jotunheim.” She looked down at Loki fondly. Pursing her lips, she hesitated a moment. “Those barbs were poisoned, mostly to block magic and keep the victim weak, increase their sensitivity to pain, but it shouldn’t leave any lasting damage.” You nodded slowly. Eir continued, “Most of the scarring will go away. I see he was injured on Midgard. If he had been home, we probably could have prevented the scarring, I’ve seen far worse injuries than that and taken care of them in a heartbeat.”  
  
You frowned, “We used the best we could.”  
  
Eir shook her head with a small smile, “Of course, I meant no offense.” She paused and looked back at his face. “His eyes though…” She trailed off uncertainly.  
  
You bit your lip. “Will they heal?”  
  
“I can’t be certain.” She was silent again. “What happened?” You told her everything. From the moment you had arrived on Asgard, to your discussion with the prisoner, and finally to the moment Loki managed to tell Heimdall your location. Eir nodded slowly.  
  
“How are the other prisoners?” You asked.  
  
“They’re in good hands. My healers will take care of them, then we’ll sort out why they were victims of Thanos, and move forward from there. Hopefully we can send most of them home. One or two might actually be criminals, they can stay in the prisons of Asgard, but no one should deserve this level of cruelty.” She nodded at Loki’s still form.  
  
You swallowed thickly. “He’ll live though. That’s what matters.”  
  
“He might be blind.” Eir whispered softly.  
  
Your head snapped up to look at her. After a second you nodded sadly, “I was worried as much.” Then you smiled, finally stroking your hand through his silky hair, “I’ll miss that beautiful green, but at least I won’t have to miss him.”  
  
Eir reached over and squeezed your shoulder, “I’m glad. We’ll just have to wait and find out. Stranger things have happened after all.”  
  


* * *

 

* * *

  
Loki lay complete still and submerged under the liquid for two days. Eir had the healers bring a cot into the room so you could sleep. You curled up on it beside the pool, hand in the liquid, just next to Loki’s. You wanted to hold his hand but you feared what pain he might be in so you simply kept it near enough that he could reach you when he finally woke up.  
  
When you weren’t sleeping, you sat beside the pool and continued your vigil by his side.  
  
On the third day, Loki finally stirred, his body shifting slightly under the liquid. You immediately perked up, ringing the bell that Eir had left to contact her with. Once more, you held your hand just millimeters from his face, desperate to touch him.  
  
Eir ran into the room, surprisingly spry for someone her age. She slipped into the pool and motioned for you to follow. The two of you watched on either side of Loki as he slowly shifted.  
  
“Loki.” Eir whispered soothingly, “It’s Eir.” She glanced at you.  
  
“And me, Loki, I’m here too.” You felt more tears in your eyes as you smiled at him. You tried to remind yourself that he might never see you again, that those bright green irises might stay clouded over and look like that prisoner’s had. You swallowed hard, forcing the thought from your mind. Glancing down, you saw Loki’s fingers twitching as though searching for something. Delicately, you laced your fingers in his and stroked his hand with your thumb. The tension in Loki’s shoulders dissipated and you imagined that he was smiling, though the bandages covered his mouth and you couldn’t be sure.  
  
“You can hear us?” You asked quietly.  
  
Loki’s hand squeezed yours, you could barely feel it, but it was unmistakable. You choked back another sob and nodded at Eir.  
  
“Good.” She spoke softly. “We’re going to keep you under for a little longer before we check your eyes. The longer this Cyra has on your injuries, the better chance of recovery you have.”  
Eir had previously explained the nature of Cyra. It worked as a disinfectant, a painkiller, and a way of staunching blood flow. It also worked as a physical barrier to any open wounds, and Loki was in no shortage of those.  
  
Again Loki’s fingers twitched around yours, letting you know he understood.  
“I’ll be here with you Loki.”  
  
“I’ll be back tomorrow, at dusk, you two should get some sleep.” Eir glared at you sternly.  
  
You nodded, assuring her that you would sleep. After she left the room, you sat back down in the pool, gripping Loki’s hand tightly, fearful of leaving him.  
  
Loki’s finger tapped on your hand and you knew he was reprimanding you. “Shut up,” you muttered, even though he couldn’t speak. “I just woke up, I’ll get some sleep in a bit. After you fall back asleep, I’ll get out. My cot is right next to here, I’ll be fine.”  
  
Loki was still for a moment, then he gently squeezed your hand.  
  
“I’d much rather listen to your voice.” You stated softly. Loki squeezed your hand and his shoulders twitched, almost like he was holding back a laugh. You thought for a moment then started talking, telling him about everything you had done since you last saw him. “And then they put you in this pool thing and you’ve been asleep.” From time to time, as you spoke, Loki would squeeze your hand, letting you know he was listening. You realized that he hadn’t done anything for several minutes. Looking down, you saw the slow steady rise and fall of his chest, apparently he had drifted off to sleep. You smiled.  
  
At long last, you crawled out of the pool and onto your cot, making sure to leave your hand in the liquid, still constantly touching his.  
  
“I love you Loki.” It must have been several hours, for you quickly drifted off to sleep.  
  
When you woke up, your hand was still in Loki’s but there was a tray of food on your other side. It was a little challenging, sitting up on the cot, not letting go of Loki’s hand, and reaching for the food, but you managed.  
  
After you finished eating, Loki’s hand squeezed yours again.  
  
“Hey dumbass.” You mumbled with a small smile.  
  
Loki’s finger tapped yours and you grinned. You lowered your voice, mock imitating his, “Mortal, I will snap your neck.”  
  
“You love me.” You laughed softly as you returned your voice to normal.  
  
Loki’s fingers stroked yours gently. Throughout the day you talked about anything and everything, glad to finally be back at Loki’s side and know he was awake.  
  
Suddenly the lights dimmed and the doors open.  
  
Eir walked in and motioned for you to reenter the pool. “Alright,” she started quietly, “no time like the present.”  
  
She produced a pillow, seemingly from nowhere, and propped Loki’s head out of the liquid. His hand gripped yours tighter and his muscles tensed, clearly he was in pain. When Loki’s head was clear of the liquid, the golden dust that funneled into his nose dispersed. Carefully Eir undid the wrappings over his mouth. You hissed at the gruesome sight, though you reminded yourself how much worse it had looked when you first returned to Asgard.  
  
“Can you speak?” Eir asked softly.  
  
Loki’s mouth opened and closed silently for a moment and your heart fluttered in fear. Finally, in a raspy voice, Loki replied, “Yes.”  
  
“Oh Loki!” You squeezed his hand with both of yours, wanting desperately to kiss him.  
  
“Mortal.” Loki rasped, a faint smirk on his lips. It quickly vanished, the movement apparently causing too much pain.  
  
“Your eyes are still closed, yes?” Eir asked.  
  
“Yes.” Loki responded, still barely above a whisper.  
  
“We need to remove the bandages and see the damage. From there we can decide the next course of action.”  
  
“Fine.”  
  
Eir nodded and motioned for you to tilt his head up. You moved your leg over so Loki’s hand rested on your knee, before gently lifting his head from the liquid. Your fingers brushed through the silky strands of his hair and you smiled, appreciating being able to touch more of him. A faint smile crossed his lips at the contact and he squeezed your knee.  
  
While you supported his head, Eir slowly began unwinding the bandages over his eyes. You waited with baited breath, fearful of what you might see.  
  
When the last strip of cloth had been unwound, Eir gently ordered him to open his eyes. The light in the room was so dim that it was nearly dark. Slowly Loki raised his eyelids and at long last, the vivid green irises were visible, so bright that they seemed to glow.  
  
Loki had turned his head to the side enough to look at you. The first thing he saw was you looking at him in hope, face lighting up with joy as you realized he could see.  
  
Loki blinked a few times, and then his features split into a grin. You could see the pain it caused but he was too happy to care.  
  
“He said the last thing I would ever see was him.” Loki rasped. “And I gave in to despair, but now…” Loki breathed for a moment, closing his eyes as he again memorized every one of your features. “My most beloved is the first sight to welcome me.” A single tear rolled down his cheek and Loki couldn’t hide his smile, no matter how greatly it pained him. The speech ached his mouth brilliantly for he quickly fell silent.  
  
Finally you could resist the urge no more. Bending over, you kissed his forehead and stroked his cheeks, cradling his face in your hands. “I love you so much, Loki.” You murmured.  
  
“Alright, stop it you two.” Eir glared at you and Loki. Loki’s eyes remained shut. “Don’t make him strain himself. I don’t know how long it’s been since he last spoke. You two can have your sweet nothings later, for now, you both need your rest.” You frowned, ready to protest, but Eir plowed on, “Thor will be here shortly. He will stay with his brother. (Y/n), you’ll go back to your room and get some real sleep, then real food. Loki is going back under for a time. The injuries on his face are still dreadful and he needs all the help he can get.”  
  
You sighed, “Since you asked so nicely.”  
  
Loki let out a soft breath of laughter and you smiled, squeezing his hand again.  
  
Within minutes, Thor had entered the room, ecstatic to finally see Loki. He was even more pleased to know his brother was not blind nor had he lost his silver tongue.  
“Don’t worry, lady (y/n), go get some sleep, I’ll watch over your husband and my brother.”  
  
“Thanks Thor.” You hugged him briefly then slowly made your way out of the room.  
  
It had been days since you were outside and the rest of the palace looked so foreign as you walked, leaning heavily on the wall for support.  
  
“(Y/n)!” You heard Lady Sif call as she ran to you. “How are you? How is Loki?”  
  
“He’s going to be fine. As for me? I could probably go for a decent meal, sleep, and a hot shower.”  
  
Sif wrinkled her nose and nodded at your last idea. “Let me know when you are ready, we can eat together. Get your rest first, of course. Even though Loki and I have had our differences in the past, if nothing else, I’m glad for you and Thor’s brother that he is well.”  
  
You smiled and waved her off, though she still helped you to your chambers, the room you shared with Loki. You forced yourself to shower before sinking into bed and falling asleep instantly. Though you didn’t dream, your sleep was deep and rejuvenating.  
  


* * *

  
When you woke up, Sif was waiting on the couch near the fireplace, silently reading. She looked up at you with a smile.  
  
“C’mon, let’s go eat. Thor is still with Loki, and Eir promised to send for you if at any point something happens. Let’s get you some real food, you need to eat.”  
  
You smiled weakly and nodded, “Thanks Sif.”  
  
After getting food, Sif prompting you all the while, you hurried back to the healing chamber.  
  
Thor looked up when you entered, smiling widely. “He’s been sleeping, you haven’t missed him at all.”  
  
You smiled faintly before walking over to Loki’s other side and crouching down outside of the pool. You and Thor sat in silence, gazing down at Loki’s still form. From time to time he would stir slightly, and both you and Thor would perk up, but he never woke.  
  
Late in the afternoon, Eir returned, just as Loki showed first signs of stirring. She was pleased to see you had actually slept and eaten properly. The healer motioned for you to enter the pool again, once more producing the pillow to tilt Loki’s head above the water. You were quite impressed with her ability to predict when Loki would wake.  
  
Once his head was above the liquid and the fine golden mist dissipated, Eir removed the bandages from his lips. Already his mouth was beginning to return to its regular appearance.  
  
“Hey Loki.” You whispered softly.  
Loki smiled, not quite turning his head.  
  
“Brother.” Thor murmured  
Loki squeezed your hand.  
  
“Hurts to talk still?” You asked as he squeezed your hand again. The smile never quite left his lips.   
  
Thor gently took Loki’s hand and squeezed it before pulling away.  
  
“Hello.” Loki finally whispered.  
  
Only when his mouth moved were the injuries readily apparent.  
  
“How are your eyes?” Eir asked.  
  
Loki was quiet and still, you wondered if he had drifted to sleep. “Bad.” He finally replied. Loki paused then breathed in deeply, bracing himself. “Thanos is far.” He squeezed your hand, the pain was visibly dreadful. You and Thor watched with baited breath. “You. Have time here.”  
  
“He’s far away, so we don’t have to worry for a while?” Thor prompted, looking for clarification. Loki squeezed your hand. You nodded up at Thor. Thor breathed a sigh of relief. “There are always threats on the horizon, it’s a relief to know we have time from that.”  
  
You nodded as Loki squeezed your hand. “Yea, there have been small organized military attacks on earth that S.H.I.E.L.D. has been taking care of. I was working on a few missions with Natasha before this whole ordeal happened. It’s mostly been general peacekeeping. The sort of things the Avengers assembled to fight.”  
  
Loki frowned and tapped your hand, “Bad.”  
  
You rolled your eyes, “I’m fine, dumbass. I am a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent after all, it’s only because of that that I know you.” You squeezed his hand and smiled again.  
  
Loki was still for a moment, “Snap your neck.”  
  
You chuckled, tears pricking at your eyes, “Grumpy old god, too weak to threaten me?”  
Loki smiled, though it still looked painful. He squeezed your hand again.  
  
Thor laughed softly, “I guess we won’t have to worry about your sharp wit for some time, I’m sure there are many who would be pleased and love to take advantage of that.”  
  
Loki tapped your hand and you laughed. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone tease you. That’s my job.” He squeezed your hand again.  
  
Eir watched the exchange with a small amused smile. “I think we need to check your eyes again. Hopefully we can put you onto the bed soon. The body doesn’t do well in Cyra for such extended periods of time, your injuries were too severe to risk otherwise.”  
  
Loki clenched his teeth and you could see him stiffen, preparing himself for the pain.  
  
Eir slowly unwrapped the bandages until they were removed completely. Loki’s bright green gaze immediately found yours and he smiled, though the pain in his eyes was evident. Deep scarring surrounded them, the traces of the wire still sharply visible. Loki glanced over as Thor gasped, then he looked away sadly.  
  
“It’s looking better, Loki, really.” You weren’t lying. Compared to the first time the bandages were removed, they looked much clearer.  
  
Eir nodded, “It’s a good thing (y/n) didn’t try and open your eyes there, we’ve been able to heal you properly.” You winced at her words. Eir understood that you had needed to talk to Loki, so she had been quite understanding about his mouth. She was pleased with your overall handling of his injuries: any scarring would be minimal.  
“I think if we keep the Cyra on your eyes, the scarring should go away entirely.”  
  
Loki smiled weakly, but you could see the relief flood his face even as he squeezed your hand.  
  
“You’re so vain.” You muttered with a smile, “I told you you’re perfect, no matter how you look. Some people even think scars are sexy.”  
  
A soft breath of laughter escaped Loki but it quickly stopped as he shut his eyes again, hurt by the movement.  
  
Thor glared at you playfully, “Are you trying to hurt him?”  
  
You stuck your tongue out as Loki squeezed your hand again. “Just a little, I have to get back at him for all the worry he caused me.” Loki’s thumb stroked over your hand and you glanced down. “I’m just teasing you, love.” You added affectionately.  
  
“Alright. Everyone needs to get their rest. Tomorrow we’ll move Loki onto the bed. I’ll summon the both of you then.” You and Thor started to protest but she glared sternly at the two of you. “He’s going back to sleep and he’s definitely not going anywhere. You two rest up so you can help us move him.”  
  
Thor sighed, “Very well.”  
  
You and Thor waited long enough for Eir to reapply the bandages, then you returned to your respective rooms, eagerly awaiting tomorrow.  
  


* * *

  
The next day, you and Thor helped as the healers delicately lifted Loki from the pool and transferred him to the spacious bed. The golden orb over top worked as a barrier from any bacteria outside to prevent infections, as well as maintaining a temperature most suited for healing.  
  
You and Thor moved away when the healers set to work changing his bandages. Whenever the wounds became visible from your vantage, you could feel your horror growing. The injuries had been atrocious when you first brought him back to Asgard but the wires had blocked the worst on his throat and arms. Devastated by the sight, you could feel yourself shaking. Gently, Thor wrapped his arms around you, turning you away from Loki and holding you tight to his chest. Even with him whispering soft words of comfort, you could still feel his voice quivering at the sight.  
  
“Alright.” Eir’s soft voice cut through the relative silence. It had only been broken by the occasional hushed command amongst the other healers and a few whimpers from Loki. Each sound he made wrenched at your heart.  
  
Finally Thor released you and you were able to move and sit beside Loki. “How are you?” You asked tearfully, having taken his hand and started gently stroking it.  
  
Loki smiled weakly, though his eyes were still covered. “Better.” He whispered.  
  
You perked up happily for a moment, then sighed. “You can’t lie to me, dumbass.”  
  
Loki laughed softly, “My mouth is better.” He murmured.  
  
“The Cyra kept the worst of the pain at bay, it should be back in full force now.” Eir explained solemnly.  
  


* * *

  
Loki had the blindfold on constantly for the next two days, then Eir deemed it safe for him to only need it while sleeping.  
  
Loki was finally spending all day awake and was able to carry on complete conversations. He was even moving his head and arms from time to time.  
  
“Our prince is quite resilient.” Eir said one morning to you in the hallway outside the room. You smiled weakly, thinking of just how poor a condition he was still in. “He hasn’t been awake long without you, but don’t worry, his brother is keeping him company.”  
  
You sighed, “Thor needs to get home to Jane and Terin.”  
  
“Yes, though for now, he’s rightfully concerned about his brother. Heimdall is keeping watch over them should anything happen. And your other friends are spoiling the child rotten. I hope to meet him soon. I helped Frigga with these two boys, I’ll be offended if I don’t get a chance to meet this child.”  
  
You laughed. “I’ll pass that along to Thor.”  
  
Eir studied you for a moment, “What of you and Loki? Do you intend to have children?” You stammered for a moment, searching for words. “I suppose now is hardly the time to think about it. Well no matter, whatever you decide, I will be happy as the healer.”  
  
Finally you smiled weakly, simply nodding. Eir shooed you into the room before continuing her regular duties.  
  
Thor turned around as the door opened.  
  
Loki turned his head and smiled when he saw you. “Hello love.” He murmured.  
  
“Hey Loki.” You sat down on his other side and smoothed his hair from his face. “Eir said that we should move you back to our room soon.”  
  
“I’d like that.” Loki smiled at you, leaning into your touch. “I’ve missed you in my arms.”  
  
Smiling, you nodded slowly, “Me too. I just don’t want to risk hurting you at all.”  
  
Loki smirked, “I’ll be fine, it’s been far too long since I’ve had you by my side.”  
  
Thor cleared his throat and Loki chuckled softly.  
  
“You should get back to Jane and Terin soon, Thor.” You said.  
  
“I would like that, but I have to be sure my brother is well.” Thor looked down at Loki.  
  
You raised your eyebrows in mock offense, “He’s with me! He’s in excellent care!”  
  
“Forgive me,” Thor smirked.  
  
The three of you chatted well into the evening, pausing when a healer brought food. Loki was propped up on pillows, and you helped feed him before turning to your own meal.  
  
When you left for bed at night, as Loki had insisted each night, you were the one to lower the blindfold, kissing his forehead gently. It would be several weeks before Loki confessed that he had feared the last thing he would ever see was the Scourger and he was desperate that if he should go blind, at least you would be his last vision.  
  


* * *

  
“Alright, careful now.” Eir commanded as everyone shifted Loki onto the hovering gurney.  
Once he was returned to your shared quarters and made comfortable, Thor bid everyone farewell, promising to inform the other Avengers of everything that had transpired.  
  
You crawled into bed, lifting Loki’s head up so he could rest on your chest while you stroked his hair. Throughout the ordeal, his arms had remained relatively immobile.  
  
“Eir said I should give you a bath soon.” You spoke softly.  
  
“Did she?” You hummed in affirmation. Loki smiled, closing his eyes; the marks were all but vanished now. “I’d like that.”  
  
“Alright, let’s get you up then.”  
  
Loki struggled to his feet and you helped him to the best of your ability. He had been near starved for the last several months so he was much lighter and easier for you to support. The thought tore at your heart.  
  
Eventually you helped him into the bathtub, slowly removing his meagre clothing with gentle kisses. Loki hummed with each touch of your lips, sighing contentedly from time to time. The bandages were all soaked in Cyra and thus remained waterproof, so you simply left them on. Mostly you figured the warm water running over his skin and to finally have his hair cleaned properly would make him feel normal again.  
  
You lathered the soap in your hands before gently cleaning him off, sliding your hands along his smooth pale skin, occasionally noting the fresher scars that no longer needed constant dressings. As you worked, you gently sang your favorite lullaby from your childhood, happy to finally be beside your husband again. Then you began to work the shampoo into his silky black hair and Loki smiled, practically purring at your touch.  
  
The tresses felt so soft in your fingers. As you continued to enjoy the feeling on your hands, Loki’s noises became more and more sensual until you suddenly stopped. You felt yourself blushing at one particularly heady groan and you snuck a peek at his face.  
  
Loki was eyeing you mischievously. “Darling, you are so beautiful.” He purred. “The things I would like to do right now,” he trailed off abruptly as you flicked water at his face.  
  
“Eir said no strenuous activity any time soon.”  
  
Loki scowled darkly. “I finally get you back by my side and can’t even celebrate.” He grumbled.  
  
“You can hardly move, dumbass. As much as I’d like to also, you’re not doing anything anytime soon.”  
  
“I guess my patience will make it all the sweeter when I finally have you again.”  
  
You kissed his mouth deeply, slipping your tongue easily between his lips. He allowed you to dominate the kiss, enjoying the sensation of you claiming him. Finally you pulled away as the two of you panted heavily, trying to catch your breaths.  
  
The water was growing cold, so you began the difficult task of getting him dried off and back to bed. Loki collapsed instantly, eyes drifting shut in fatigue. You crawled into bed, resituating him so he could wrap his arms around you without having to move.  
  
“How come you’re so much weaker this time?” You couldn’t help asking.  
  
Loki sighed heavily, loath to bring it up, but he understood your curiosity. “Thanos needed to mould me, make me pliable, into a weapon he could aim at Midgard to obtain the tesseract. This time, he just wanted to break me. I had served my purpose, and was useless to him.”  
  
You wiped the few tears that dared to escape. “Good. You’re not useless, but you sure as hell shouldn’t be used by that…” You paused, trying to think of a word to describe an entity that would cause so much agony.  
  
Loki laughed weakly, the sound rumbling in his chest. “Yes, I know what you mean. I’ve had quite some time to try and figure a word to describe him, but I continue to come up short.”  
  
A long period of peaceful silence passed between the two of you.  
  
“Loki?”  
  
Loki’s eyes slowly drifted open again, “Yes love?”  
  
“Please, if anything like this ever threatens you again, please don’t hesitate to tell me. I’ll do everything I can to protect you. I can’t lose you again.” Your voice choked on the last words and you shook your head as you fought back tears.  
  
Loki weakly lifted his arm and wiped your cheeks, “I’m sorry, my gentle dove, I feared too much for you. I couldn’t risk you bearing this burden.”  
  
“No burden of yours is too much for me to bear.” You said, holding his hand in place as you stared down at him, imploring him to realize the truth of your words.  
  
Finally he sighed and nodded, “I understand.” He was quiet and looked away. “I’ve spent so long facing everything alone, it was all too easy to fall back into the habit.”  
  
“You’re never alone again. I promise.”  
  
“Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.” Loki whispered sadly, tears shimmering in his eyes.  
  
“Then I’ll find a way to keep it. I don’t care what it takes. Don’t you dare think you’re alone, there’s nothing I won’t do for you.”  
  
“I believe you, love. Perhaps in the past I had my doubts, and forgive me for that. But now… I truly do. Thank you.” Loki murmured, eyes drifting shut again. He sighed deeply, wincing as he stretched, his injuries protesting at the movement, “Shall we sleep now? You have no idea how much I look forward to waking up and still holding you in my arms.”  
  
You nodded, choking up again at the sincerity of his love. “Me too. I’ve missed you so much on earth. I dreamt about you constantly.”  
  
“You are the reason I could survive, I had to, I had to be able to make it back to you. No matter what it took, I had to make it back to you.” Loki’s voice started to slur as sleep began to take hold of him.  
  
He gripped you as tight as his weakened muscles allowed. You smiled, heart light with elation as you stroked his hair until you recognized the slow steady breathing that indicated he slept.  
  
Then you curled around him, moving his hand to rest on your thigh as you lay beside him. You wanted to hold him closer than you could, to have his body mould into yours again. But you knew you would wait. You could enjoy that intimacy later, for now, all that mattered was he was back with you. Anything else could be dealt with later.  
  
A smile stayed on your lips as you too drifted off to sleep.  
  
You knew you were truly happy, for being awake and with Loki was far better a life than any sleeping dreams could conjure. You were safe in his arms, and he yours, and nothing would change that.  
  
Your smile never faded as you finally fell into your first peaceful slumber in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't come up with a fancy sounding word so you got 'Cyra', and I don't know anything about Thanos, but basically he's off chilling with the Guardians of the Galaxy and isn't relevant to the plot anymore (because this is a LokixReader and not Avengers plotline (plus Loki[xReader])


	49. Chapter 49

It was almost another month before Eir agreed that Loki could leave the palace. She had him in a strict regimen of physical therapy and diet to regain his weight and muscle mass. With it, he began to recover, though not as quickly as he would have liked. The first time he took up sparring again, you offered to use a smaller more private room to prevent any unwanted observers.  
  
When Heimdall, Sif, and the warriors three were informed that the reason the dark elves came to Asgard was simply for Loki, they were relieved and partially annoyed that he hadn’t told them. In his defense, he wasn’t certain until after he had been kidnapped and Thanos had gloated.  
  
Either way, the threat to Asgard was lessened to the usual threats that kingdoms have in their day to day operation.  
  
So you and Loki began training again, allowing him to flex his muscles once more. For the first time since knowing him, you put up a fight before he bested you.  
  
You weren’t upset with the loss, but you could tell it weighed heavily on his mind. To be so affected that he couldn’t fight, particularly after his last tortures where he came out strong enough to lead an army, was a crippling blow to his already low self-image.  
  
After one particularly long fight, where Loki actually had to exert himself against you, he turned away and leaned against the wall sadly.  
  
You stood back up and walked over, resting your hand on his shoulder. “Loki, you’ve been starved and beyond tortured in every way for months. You are so strong. A small setback like this while you heal is nothing.” Loki glanced back at you but remained quiet, so you continued. “Think about how weak any other warrior would be. Hell, they might not have lived. One of the healers admitted to me that she was surprised you lived. The blood loss, the tortures, the wires, the starvation… I could keep listing it, but to think of just what you went through hurts my heart. I should’ve protected you. So if I can finally be here to help you heal, please at least accept that, for me.” You could feel the traces of tears stinging your eyes.  
  
Loki turned back around and wrapped you in his arms, resting his head on yours. “You’re right. Thank you.”  He whispered into your hair. “My pride is one of the only things I have.”  
  
“No it’s not. You have me. You have your brother. You have your friends, the Avengers. Injured or not, they won’t leave you.” You were quiet, hoping the weight of the words would stick. “Eir said you might’ve been blinded by what they did, and I was ready to accept that. I was ready to be the arm that you leaned on as you learned to live without your vision. But you didn’t and that was a gift. But I will be more than happy as you have to spend the time living without your strength. And then when it comes back, and I know it will, because you are stronger than any in your spirit, I’ll still be there to support you. Even though my strength will go back to being less than yours, I will help you carry the burden which can’t be seen. Do you understand me?”  
  
Loki smiled weakly before leaning down and kissing you gently. “I do. Thank you. I love you so much, little one, (y/n), my darling wife.” He breathed out heavily before straightening back up, face lightening with a warm smile. “Shall we start again?”  
  
“Only when you’re ready.”  
  
Loki nodded and stepped away, readying his dagger.  
  


* * *

 

 

 

* * *

  
After time, Loki recovered his stamina in more ways than one.  
  
As his strength returned, his enthusiasm for other facets of life spiked as well. Once more you would wake in the morning, more sore than after your training bouts with him. The two of you even broke some furniture as he tried to make up for the time spent away from you.  
  
Shortly after, when Loki finally returned to easily winning your fights, training with Asgardian warriors, and was soon besting them as well, his spirits returned. That night he was more enthusiastic than ever.  
  


* * *

  
You woke up, moaning loudly. Loki lifted the blankets and looked down at the dark bruises on your hips, wincing slightly. “I guess I’m back to having to restrain myself.” He mumbled sheepishly, though you could detect a faint sense of pride in his voice. “I do like the reminder that you are mine though.”  
  
You scowled, trying to roll away. Loki deftly grabbed your waist and pulled you against his bare chest, allowing his cold fingers to massage your skin.  
  
“I hate you.” You groaned.  
  
“I love you too, darling.”  
  
You smiled though, appreciative that he couldn’t see it. You snuggled your back closer against him, wishing to never leave his side.  
  
After a long time of just staying as close to the other as possible, reveling in the oneness, you asked hesitantly, “Do you think we could go back to earth soon?”  
  
Loki nodded and smiled, “I’d like that. I’d like to see our friends and I eagerly await meeting our nephew.”  
  
You grinned, then your eyes widened in realization, “He’s probably close to a year old now!”  
  
“Then I guess we haven’t time to waste.” Loki rolled out of bed and magicked his regular leather and metal on.  
  
Before you could even get up, he had hurried over to your side of the bed and gently carried you to the dresser, propping you up and trailing kisses along your bare skin as he helped you dress.  
  
You didn’t complain even as he carried you bridal style out to the stables, holding you securely on the horse and riding out on the Bifrost. When you arrived at the observatory, Heimdall greeted you with a knowing smile, “It’s about time I see you two again. You have changed so much Loki, I’m pleased.”  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, as he gingerly set you down. You swayed for a moment before steadying yourself. Loki wrapped his arm tightly around your waist and held you close.  
“Yes well…” Loki trailed off.  
  
“He means thank you and he’s appreciative of the compliment.” You elbowed Loki’s stomach.  
  
Loki chuckled softly, “Right.”  
  
“Well get going you two, it’s about time you see your friends again and finally meet your nephew.” Heimdall replied as he opened the Bifrost.  
  
In a flash of light you were standing on the Avengers tower balcony and looking around. There were loud calls of excitement as everyone ran over to greet you.  
  
“(Y/n)!” Natasha shouted, she was the first to reach you and grabbed you in a tight hug.  
  
Bucky reached Loki and picked him up in a hug resemblant of Thor’s. “Are you feeling better?” He asked as he set Loki down.  
  
Loki chuckled, “Yes, thank you.” He was taking the affection everyone was displaying quite well.  
  
Bucky’s fist shot out and in a strong punch and hit Loki hard in the chest, pushing him back a step. “That’s for making everyone worry. And for putting me in charge of keeping (y/n) safe.”  
  
After a moment of surprise, Loki burst out laughing, along with the rest of the Avengers.  
  
You ran over and hugged Bucky as tightly as you could. “Thanks Bucky.”  
  
Bucky turned around and kissed the top of your head, hugging you close. “We missed you both here.” You pulled away and stepped back over to Loki, wrapping your arm around his waist.  
  
“I’m definitely getting the drinks!” Tony called as he ran to the elevator. It opened with a ding and Thor, Jane, and Terin appeared.  
  
Loki’s eyes lit up when he saw the infant.  
  
Thor grabbed the boy from Jane and hurried over to Loki, holding Terin out for Loki to take. Loki gently held Terin in his arms and looked down at his nephew lovingly, “So this is Terin?” He murmured softly.  
  
Terin was ten months old, already hosting Thor’s golden hair and bright blue eyes. He smiled up at Loki.  
  
“Yes.” Thor confirmed softly. “Terin, this is your Uncle Loki.” He glanced over at you. You had stepped away while Loki held the baby, giving him room. Thor motioned for you to come nearer. “And this is your Aunt (Y/n).”  
  
Terin blinked up at you with wide eyes and smiled, clapping his hands. “Loki.” Terin giggled.  
  
Loki’s eyes widened and he looked up at Thor. The whole room had fallen silent.  
  
Finally Jane sighed, “Of course that’s his first word.”  
  
“Sorry.” Loki muttered then looked back down at Terin, not looking particularly apologetic. “(Y/n), do you want to hold him?”  
  
“You sure? I think he likes you.” You replied with a laugh.  
  
Natasha scowled and walked over, poking Terin’s stomach, lightly tickling him until he laughed, “I told you, your first words were supposed to be ‘aunt’ or ‘Nat’ or ‘Tasha’ even.” She shook her head in playful disappointment, though still smiled at the baby.  
  
Terin simply laughed.  
  
Bruce stood a ways to the side. He had offered you a friendly hug when you arrived but when the baby entered the room, he gave Terin plenty of space. You all knew that if anyone offered him to hold Terin, he would decline.  
  
“Go on, (y/n).” Thor said, gesturing to Terin.  
  
You hesitantly took the baby from Loki and stared down at him, smiling. “He really is adorable, Thor.”  
  
Terin clapped his hands together and started reaching towards Jane. You could see his face contorting.  
  
“Oh right! It’s lunchtime.” Jane hurried over and took Terin from you before he started crying. She motioned for Thor to follow as they went to the elevator and downstairs.  
  
Tony exited the elevator as they entered it. There was a quiet conversation where the couple declined drinks and then left.  
  
“Stark, you missed Terin’s first words.” Steve said, smirking.  
  
Tony’s mouth fell open. “No! What were they?”  
  
“Loki.” Loki said softly, unable to hide his smile.  
  
“Son of a bitch…” Tony muttered.  
  
“Pay up, Stark.” Clint said with a wide smile.  
  
“What?!”  
  
“You bet that Terin’s first words would be Tony, then decided that something involving Stark would work. I bet they wouldn’t, I win. Pay up.” Clint continued smugly.  
  
You laughed as Loki wrapped his arm around your shoulder and led you over to the couch. You sank down in relief.  
Eventually Thor and Jane returned, Jarvis was on babysitting duty in case Terin woke from his nap downstairs.  
  
The Avengers gathered around drinking and talking and catching up with everything that had happened over the last several months.  They were pleased to hear that this mystery threat, Thanos, was still very far away, and agreed it could be worried about at another time. Thor had explained the nature of Loki’s disappearance so no one brought it up, for that you were glad.  
  
Life for the others had been the same as normal: dismantling rogue terrorist organizations, stopping crime rings, constant death threats, the usual.  
  
It was nice for everyone to finally have the day to kick back and relax. It was late that night, into the early hours of the morning, when you and Loki finally bid everyone good night. Your head had started bobbing tiredly.  
  
When the elevator stopped at Loki’s floor, you were almost surprised that he reached for your hand. However, Loki had always been quite perceptive and noticed.  
“What’s wrong darling?”  
  
You quickly shook your head, “It’s just been so long. I was almost expecting to go back to my old room. It feels surreal.”  
  
Loki looked down sadly before lifting you into his arms and carrying you towards the room. “Well, if you’d like, I suppose you could sleep in the reading chair.” He murmured with a slight smile.  
  
You looked up at him and grinned, “Should I knock on the door and tell you not to bite my head off?”  
  
Loki chuckled, “If it makes you feel better, I would be happy to do that.”  
  
You snuggled closer into his chest and shook your head, “No. I like you this way.”  
  
Loki raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. “Oh? I thought you said you hated me.”  
  
“Just sometimes.” You said, sticking your tongue out at him.  
  
Loki magicked open the door to the room, then used his foot to kick it shut. Crossing the room, he gently laid you down on top of the blankets. You had grown quite sleepy and he carefully helped you out of your clothes before magicking his own off. You shivered lightly before Loki pulled the covers over both of you. As he curled you into his side, just in his sleep pants, you hummed contentedly.  
  
“Have I ever showed you my mother’s storybook?”  
  
You shook your head drowsily.  
  
Loki reached under the bed where he had hidden it all those nights ago, back when the constant nightmares still plagued him. He pulled it out and began to read. You rested your head on his chest, enjoying the steady reverberations of his voice as he read. Loki wrapped his arm around your shoulders and gently stroked your hair.  
  
When he finished, you had all but fallen asleep. “My mother used to read that to Thor and I when we were little.”  
  
“We should do that.” You mumbled, almost completely asleep.  
  
Loki straightened up, eyes wide as he looked down at you. “Should we? You and I?”  
  
You sleepily nodded your head, eyes still shut. Then your breathing deepened as you fell completely into slumber.  
  
A small smile played at the corner of Loki’s mouth as he hugged you closer to himself. “I’d like that too, I think.”


	50. Chapter 50

A month passed and you were growing restless, constantly sharpening your weapons, practicing in the training room, and just pacing the tower.  
  
Loki looked up from the book he was reading on the couch as you crossed the room for the umpteenth time. Your blades were drawn and you kept flexing your fists around the handles.  
  
“(Y/n)…” Bucky said slowly, looking away from the TV.  
  
You spun towards him and snapped, “What?”  
  
“I think we’re going to call Fury and get you another mission.” Natasha muttered.  
  
You looked over at her as Loki scowled.  
  
Perking up, you nodded eagerly, “Yes! Loki and I can go on more missions, just like old times.”  
  
Loki opened his mouth to argue, then fell silent. He did love his books, and desperately wanted to keep you safe, but he could see the inactivity wearing heavily on your psyche. Also, he wasn’t a complete fan of sitting around.  
Loki sighed, “Something not too dangerous at least…” He said slowly.  
  
You beamed at Loki excitedly. “Do it Tasha! Oh wait, I can.” You eagerly left the room, phone in hand as you made the call to Fury.  
  
“You know you can’t really protect her, she won’t let you.” Bucky laughed.  
  
Loki’s eyes darkened but he nodded in resignation. “Won’t stop me from trying.”  
  


* * *

  
Much to your delight, Fury had a minor drug manufacturing operation that needed dismantling on a small island off the coast of Mexico. You eagerly accepted it, only mildly disliking the thought of going in the ocean via quinjet again.  
  
At least it was the Pacific and not the Atlantic, you figured.  
  


* * *

  
The day of the mission you woke up early. The plane wouldn’t arrive for several more hours and Loki was still deep asleep. It took you a few minutes to figure out what woke you. Suddenly you felt nauseous, absolutely horrible. You stumbled to the bathroom and bent over the toilet in time to be violently sick. Loki didn’t stir. Then just as quickly as it started, the nausea passed.  
As you washed out your mouth, you frowned, deep in thought.  
  
Slowly, you walked back to the bed and sat down, counting weeks on your fingers. Loki reached his arm out for you, still half asleep, and dragged you towards him.  
  
“What is it, love?” He mumbled, voice still thick from sleep.  
  
You hesitated, “I think I left my daggers in the lab. Go back to sleep.” You gently patted his cheek and he rolled over.  
  
You got up and dressed quickly, then hurried down to the smaller lab.  
  
Looking around to make sure no one was there, you snuck into the bathroom.  
  
“Jarvis?” You called hesitantly.  
  
“Yes, miss (y/n)?” Came the robotic reply.  
  
“Can you…” You breathed in deeply, trying to brace yourself. “Can you do a scan of me? Or a few quick tests?”  
  
“Of course. What do you need?”  
  
You closed your eyes, trying to wrap your mind around it. “Pregnancy?”  
  


* * *

  
Loki woke up finally and looked around, vaguely recalling your conversation. Brushing it off, he got ready for the mission, making sure to pack the essentials for both of you. After he dressed, he slowly made his way upstairs.  
  
Steve, Clint, and Bucky were all watching a movie and eating breakfast in various positions on the couch.  
  
Loki looked around curiously at your absence. “Have you seen (y/n)? I believe the quinjet will be here soon.”  
  
Clint shrugged, “She’s probably talking to Tasha.”  
  
Loki nodded and walked away to find breakfast.  
  


* * *

  
“Should I inform Director Fury to cancel the mission?” Jarvis asked.  
  
You looked up from the papers you were holding. “No!” You walked over to the nearest control box for Jarvis and started tinkering.  
  
“Please Miss (y/n), at least let me tell the others.”  
  
“Sorry Jarvis, no can do. Delete file.” You glanced back down at the papers that Jarvis had printed for you, heart racing in excitement.  
  
Sure this might not be the best idea, but it was just one mission and you were so early along…  
  
You folded the papers up neatly in your pocket, grabbed your daggers and made your way upstairs. “Jarvis, can I get a location on my mission shuttle?”  
  
“Estimated time of arrival, five minutes.”  
  
“Right.” You thanked the AI and made your way down to Natasha’s floor, knowing she was still asleep.  
  
Grabbing a pair of handcuffs, you snuck into her room. As the lock clicked in place, Natasha’s eyes shot open. “(Y/n)? What the hell are you doing?” She glared at you angrily.  
  
Trying to act natural, you forced a smile, though it probably appeared more like a grimace. “Well…” You started slowly. Natasha raised an eyebrow as she tugged fruitlessly at the restraints. “I have to tell  _someone_ , but the jet should be here about,” you glanced at the time, “now.”  
  
“Tell someone what?” Natasha growled, glaring at you murderously as she tugged at the cuffs again.  
You lifted up the papers Jarvis had printed for you.  
Natasha’s eyes widened in shock, then she smiled excitedly, then realization, then just as quickly she looked angry again, “Wait, you’re-”  
  
You covered her mouth with your hand. “Yes, yes I am. But Loki and I have a mission to do first, I’ll tell him later.” Natasha started struggling and yelling at you, not that you could tell because your hand still muffled the noise. You were accustomed to people trying to bite you from this position so you managed to evade her teeth. “Shh, Tasha, I had to tell someone. Don’t worry, it’s fine, I just found out. It’ll be a quick mission, don’t worry.”  
  
Her muffled complaints grew louder as she tugged more desperately at the restraints.  
  
“I will knock you out if you don’t stay quiet. I’m gonna get Steve to check on you, that should be long enough.” You glanced down at your phone as you got a message from Loki asking where you were. “Just in case.” You grabbed a gag and covered her mouth too, preventing her from making noise.  
  
Natasha was positively snarling as she struggled to break free.  
  
“Thanks for understanding!” You called as you ran from the room, making your way to the elevator and upstairs.  
  


* * *

  
“About time.” Loki muttered when you appeared in the main living area.  
  
“Oh shut up. Let’s go.”  
  
“After you, agent.”  
  
As Loki motioned for you to leave, you turned back to the three men sitting on the couch. “Oh hey, Steve?”  
  
Steve looked over at you and raised an eyebrow, “Yea?”  
  
“Can you guys check on Tasha after we’re gone? I think she needs to tell you something important.”  
  
Loki eyed you curiously but remained quiet.  
  
“Uh, sure thing.” Steve smiled. “Take care you two, see ya soon.”  
  
You waved everyone off as you grabbed Loki’s hand and dragged him to the jet.  
  
“What was that about?” Loki asked as you sat down.  
  
“Err, didn’t say.”  
  
Loki raised an eyebrow. You weren’t quite lying, but you weren’t exactly telling the truth either. Finally he frowned and dropped the subject, not sure what to make of your curious attitude.  
  
“Oh hey, give me your phone.” Loki hesitantly handed it to you and you switched them, giving Loki yours.  
  
“Why did you switch them?” He asked, looking down at the contraption, completely confused now.  
  
You yawned loudly before stretching out and resting your head on his lap. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”  
  
Loki nodded slowly, not sure why you were evading the question. You started to drift off so he ignored it, deciding that you were just excited to be on a mission again.  
  


* * *

  
“Tasha needs to tell us something?” Clint asked, standing up.  
  
Steve shrugged, “Guess so.” He too stood up and then led the way to the elevator, curious about what Natasha wanted.  
  
The two men arrived at her door and were about to knock when they heard muffled thumps from within. Exchanging a worried look, the they burst into the room and looked around.  
  
Natasha was struggling with her restraints, just about able to get the first cuff off when they arrived.  
  
“Tasha, what happened?” Steve asked.  
  
Natasha glared, her angry response muffled by the gag.  
  
“How’d you get like that?” Clint looked around bewildered.  
  
Natasha screamed angrily into the gag but the sound was still muffled. Finally Steve came to his senses and ran over and started helping her out. “It was (y/n)!” Natasha snarled angrily, once the gag was removed. She jerked her head towards the pile of papers sitting at the foot of the bed.  
  
Steve moved over to get the other cuff as Clint picked up the papers.  
  
“You’re pregnant?!” Clint yelled at his wife in surprise.  
  
“Not me you idiot, (Y/n)!”  
  
Steve’s mouth dropped open. “Wait, she just left for her mission.”  
  
“Does Loki know?”  
  
Natasha snorted, “Not if they’re still going on a mission. You know how protective he is.”  
  
“Oh shit…” Clint muttered, looking down at the papers some more.  
  
“Give me your phone.” Natasha demanded and Steve quickly handed it to her. Natasha dialed Loki, knowing you wouldn’t answer.  
  


* * *

  
You sat up as Loki’s phone started vibrating on your hip. Loki straightened up curiously.  
  
“Hey Tasha,” you called cheerily, covering the speaker so Loki couldn’t hear.  
  
“If you won't come to your senses, put Loki on the damned phone!” Natasha growled.  
  
“Oh sorry, we’re in a bad signal area. Call you back later!” You quickly hung up.  
  
“Agent, what was that about?” Loki asked you, furrowing his brow.  
  
You frowned innocently, “What? I just wanted to enjoy our first mission together in ages, I’ve missed doing this with you.”  
  
Loki smiled, eyes softening, as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Resting his head on yours he murmured, “Yes, it is nice just the two of us again.”  
  
You pulled away and kissed his cheek. “Shall we look over the mission schematics?”  
Loki nodded.  
  


* * *

  
Bucky looked away from the TV as Natasha stormed angrily into the room, followed by very uncomfortable, though concerned, looking Steve and Clint. Tony and Bruce were also sitting on the couch and eating.  
  
“What’s wrong Nat?” Bruce queried.  
  
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong! (Y/n) is pregnant!” Everyone’s mouth dropped open at Natasha’s angry reply.  
  
“WHAT?!” Came the resounding chorus from the room.  
  
“But she and Loki just left for a mission.”  
  
After Bruce, Bucky was the next to recover, “Does Loki know?”  
  
“Of course not!” Natasha snapped. “That idiot, I’m going to kill her. And on top of that, she tied me up in my room and gagged me after dropping that bombshell of information.” Tony giggled and Natasha rounded on him with another furious snarl, “You think that’s funny, Stark?”  
  
Tony quickly shrank back and shook his head.  
  
“What do we do?” Bruce asked quietly.  
  
Steve sighed, “(Y/n) turned off their phones. I’m not sure there’s anything we can do.”  
  


* * *

  
“You’re really acting so strange, agent, are you sure nothing is wrong?” Loki asked as he helped you to your feet, putting on the parachutes.  
  
“Wrong? Why would anything be wrong?”  
  
He sighed. The pilot shouted from the front that you were nearing the drop zone. You would be dropping into the ocean, swimming a short distance to an island that had been programmed into your communicator’s GPS, and then using explosives to level the facility.  
  
It was a relatively straightforward mission that shouldn’t take longer than the day.  
  
You jumped out of the jet, pulling the parachute cord relatively quickly, before sinking into the waves below. Loki opted to just land in the water since he was strong enough to take it. He was also showing off, you were certain of it.  
  
The two of you met up in the water before swimming the short distance to the island and crouching in the shallows as you discussed your plan.  
  
“Should we really split up?” Loki grumbled.  
  
You raised an eyebrow at him, “It’ll go faster.”  
  
“Yes, but you’ll be in more danger-”  
  
You covered his mouth with your hand, cutting him off. “Yes, I will be in danger. But here we are partners, and we are professionals.” Loki scowled though didn’t struggle from your hand. “So we’re going to do this efficiently, got it?” You pulled your hand away and nodded at him expectantly.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes, “Fine.”  
  
“C’mon, you grumpy old god.” You grinned, “On your move.”  
  
“Mortal.” Loki growled, smirking at the familiar nickname.  
  
He summoned his scepter and began to stealth along the island, quickly disappearing amongst the thick vegetation.  
  
Once he was out of sight, you glanced down. You pressed your hand to your stomach and breathed out slowly, bracing yourself. There was no time for doubt now.  
  


* * *

  
Loki made his way through the thick undergrowth, dispatching the occasional patrol as he found them. It was strange being back to this setup, practically the same way he met you. Only this time he was creating a diversion on a tropical island and not a snowy forest. It was hot and muggy, and he quickly grew uncomfortable, but it was nothing particularly bad.  
  
Finally his eyes fell upon a massive factory, hidden deep within the island. Loki raised the scepter into the air and shot a burst of energy at the building, willing the many guards to come running. Wave after wave of guards came charging at him, all falling to his daggers and scepter. After fighting the dark elves on Asgard, this was almost laughably easy.  
  
By now, you should have entered the building, relatively unhindered. Loki soon blasted a hole in the wall, hopefully drawing any remaining guards to him and made his way inside.  
  
When it was all clear, Loki glanced down at his communication device and noticed it had been turned off. He tilted his head curiously before turning it back on. When it had powered up, a flood of messages all marked urgent poured through. They were from the other Avengers. Loki’s frown deepened as he tried to read them all.  
  
The first word that finally registered in his mind was “pregnant.” It took him almost a solid minute to realize who they were referring to. Loki’s eyes widened in shock, switching to elation, then to worry then-  
  
A piercing scream cut through the air and Loki felt his heart leap to his throat. Horrified, he took off running, having to find the person who screamed, having to find you.  
  


 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

  
Stepping away from the wall where you had just placed the last explosive, you paused to admire your work. Now all you had to do was leave the factory and meet up with Loki. For a brief moment, you felt dizzy and leaned your hand against the wall to steady yourself.  
  
As your vision returned to normal, you heard footsteps behind you. You knew they weren’t from Loki and your whole body stiffened.  
  
“Don’t move.” A deep voice growled.  
  
You sighed, feeling the barrel of a gun pressed against your spine. “How can I help you?” You muttered, annoyed with yourself for letting your guard down. Perhaps this mission really wasn’t the best of ideas.  
  
The man hesitated behind you. “That man here,” he started slowly.  
  
Still leaning against the wall, you nodded and muttered, “He’s already killed the rest of your buddies by now.”  
  
The man behind you was probably nodding, you could feel the gun shift with the movement. “I think I’ll just kill you now then.”  
  
A trickle of cold sweat went down your back, fear. “You sure that’s a good idea? He’ll tear you limb from limb if anything happens to me. This factory is rigged to blow, just cut your losses now and get out of here.” You weren’t entirely sure where this calmness was coming from. While you were trained to be calm in the face of any danger, right now, you were terrified of anything happening to the unborn baby. Without a doubt, Loki could take care of himself, but if you were in danger, there was no knowing what he’d do. And that was him not knowing you were pregnant.  
  
“If I kill you,” the man seemed to be thinking over his options, “that might slow your friend down, give me more time to get out of here.”  
  
“I can promise you, he won’t let you live if anything happens to me.”  
  
The gun was slowly removed from your back and you allowed yourself a brief smile.  
  
“I won’t kill you.” The guy said slowly.  
  
You heard the telltale sound of metal on leather, a blade being unsheathed. Spinning around, you watched almost in slow motion as a machete thrust towards your chest. It slipped easily between your ribs. You weren’t even aware that you were screaming until the sound was cut off with a gargle. The man quickly pulled the machete out, making a horrible sucking sound as the withdrawn blade caused even more damage on your internal organs. You slowly sank to your knees, hands grasping feebly at the wound, trying to staunch the flow of blood. It briefly registered that it struck your lungs, and should you survive, the baby would be uninjured.  
  
You smiled weakly before darkness clouded your vision and you slumped to the ground.  
  


* * *

  
Loki looked around wildly, running in the direction of your scream. Just as he neared the spot, he collided with a man. The man bounced off Loki and fell to the ground, fumbling to get to his feet. Loki glanced down and noticed a bloody machete lying beside the man.  
  
The man quickly reached to grab it but was stopped as Loki’s heavy leather boot slammed onto his hand, crushing it instantly.  
  
Loki’s eyes flashed furiously as his mind raced to make the connection of where the blood came from. His heart wouldn’t allow him to understand.  
  
“Who are you?” Loki said slowly, staring down at the bloodied knife, trying to think. The man whimpered as Loki’s foot pressed his hand deeper into the ground. “Answer me!” Loki snarled.  
  
“No one! Just a guard!” The man squeaked, gasping in pain.  
  
“Why… why is that knife… whose blood is that?” Loki blinked hard, still not looking from the machete.  
  
The man paled in horror. After a moment he braced himself and mustered up the courage to sneer at Loki. “That bitch, the one with explosives.”  
  
Loki tore his gaze from the bloodied knife. He grabbed the man by the throat and wrenched him to his feet.  
  
“You hurt her? You hurt (Y/n)?” Loki screamed, searching the man’s face for some sort of confirmation. “How dare you,” he spat venomously, shuddering in fury. “The things I will do… I will not just search your mind for your fears, I will gouge them out slowly, painfully. You will relive each one as I learn of their existence. And when I hold them in the palm of my hand, and do the mercy of letting you forget them, then you will feel my blade as it dances across your skin. And I will laugh as the floor is painted with your wretched blood. Then,” Loki smiled wickedly with anticipation. His eyes seemed to shimmer blue like when the tesseract had gripped him in madness. “I will force the memories back down your throat and let you relive them once more. You will struggle in all your pain as you scream in all your fears and I will watch and relish every second of it.”  
The man gulped and a quiet plea escaped his lips. Loki sneered, “You wished to hurt someone? To cause pain, be a monster? No. I will show you what a true monster is capable of.”  
  
The man whimpered, futilely struggling to get away as Loki’s hand slowly crushed his windpipe. Then suddenly Loki’s sense seemed to come crashing back. He summoned restraints, chaining the man to a tree and running in the direction of where you had fallen. Loki looked around wildly, desperately calling your name.  
  


* * *

  
Your eyes fluttered open briefly as you heard your name being called. Realizing it was Loki, you tried to respond, but it came out as a pathetic whimper. The jungle was so dark, hadn’t you arrived there earlier in the day time? You couldn’t help wonder. Everything sounded muffled. The trees were quieter, the birds crying, the racket of bugs, everything seemed faint.  
  
And your chest… that hurt worst of all. Plus you felt cold, but just your arms and legs. It seemed to be moving closer to your torso. You imagined that soon all of you would feel cold.  
  
The ground started to shake and you were vaguely aware of someone approaching.  
  
Then you were rolled onto your back and looking up towards the canopy of trees. How could the sun be shining but still be so dark out?  
  
You heard someone crying your name, followed by a faint burning sensation on your chest. It burned where the machete had struck you. You struggled to move away as the burning increased. Then your body started to heat up, your arms and legs weren’t so cold.  
  
Soon the muffled jungle was back to its full volume, a cacophony of animal noises. Your vision started to return and it no longer seemed so dark. Looking up, you finally made eye contact and realized you were being held by someone.  
  
You smiled as you registered those brilliant green eyes staring down at you. “Loki.” You mumbled, trying to reach forward and touch his face.  
  
Loki’s features split into a grin as he gazed down at you. He gripped you closer to himself, constantly keeping one glowing hand on your chest as he struggled to heal the deep wound. He whispered your name over and over as tears rolled down his cheeks.  
  
You lifted your hand up to wipe the tears away, then stopped when you realized you left a red smear on his cheek.  
  
“I’m sorry, Loki.” Your voice came out slurred.  
  
“Don’t be sorry love.” Loki whispered, shaking his head. He cradled you with one arm, the other still on your chest as he struggled to heal you. “You’re going to be alright, do you understand me? You’re going to be fine. All of us, we’re going to be fine.”  
  
Your eyes widened, “You, you know?” You struggled to speak, still so exhausted.  
  
Loki nodded, kissing your forehead, “Yes, I just found. We’re going to be fine, do you understand?”  
  
“I’m really tired Loki.” You trailed off sadly.  
  
Loki shifted the way he was crouching so one knee held your back up and his free hand – the one not healing you – could cradle your head. “Don’t go to sleep on me, love, do you understand? Stay awake. I can heal this. Trust me.”  
  
“I do.” You nodded with a smile. When you coughed, you felt blood in your throat. You coughed again and some of it trickled from your mouth. “I always have. You’re my partner.”


	51. Chapter 51

Still cradling you in his arms, Loki picked you up and stumbled towards the man he’d left chained to a tree. At the sound of Loki’s approaching footsteps, the man began to struggle harder.  
  
“What’s the fastest way off this island?” Loki screamed murderously.  
  
The man looked up and saw Loki holding you, the green glow coming from Loki’s hand as he struggled to heal you.  
  
“There’s a boat.” The man gasped through the pain.  
  
Loki nodded slowly. “You will lead us to it, then you will drive us back to the mainland. Any second of struggle will prolong your tortuous death infinitely, do you understand?” Loki snarled the last words.  
  
The man quivered, “You’re going to kill me anyways, why should I help you?”  
  
Loki laughed mirthlessly. “I’m not going to kill you, you pathetic swine. I’m going to do everything just shy of killing you. I will make you beg and plead and long for death’s merciful embrace. And I will laugh. She is the only source of mercy now in your pathetic life.” The man glanced down to your still form. He could barely make out the movement of your chest as you breathed. Still he seemed to hesitate. Loki’s expression managed to darken further. “Would you invoke my rage? Would you have me force you to the ground begging for mercy? My blade sliding over your skin like a tender touch of a young fair maiden, and like her touch you would scream and beg for me to let you go; still I would tease on, my laughter mixing with the cacophony of your screams until all your senses were overwhelmed and flooded with sheer agony, only then would I consider stopping. So I ask you again, would you invoke my rage, my fury, my wrath?”  
  
Loki’s cold, calm, almost poetic threat forced the man back to his senses. “I’ll need my hands.” He mumbled slowly.  
  
“You’ll manage without.” Loki nodded his head and the chain disappeared, freeing the man from the tree. The man started to stumble in the direction of the hidden docks. Loki gingerly shifted you as he followed after. The steady stream of healing magic was starting to tire him out, but his rage and near animalistic need to protect you allowed him to ignore it.  
  
When they arrived at the docks, the man briefly considered trying to leave you and Loki behind, but his restraints seared white hot as the idea of it.  
  
Loki chuckled softly as he stepped into the boat and gingerly sat down. “Drive.” He hissed, returning his gaze to you.  
  
The boat sailed along at a marvelous speed. The man driving it, James, kept casting worried looks back at your still form. The way Loki tenderly gazed at you gave him some hope about Loki’s mercy, but not much. Particularly when he noticed how laboriously you were breathing.  
  
“I’m sorry.” James mumbled, thinking about your offer he had so carelessly tossed away.  
  
All warmth from Loki’s gaze vanished as he looked up at the man. “No. You’re not. Not yet.” Loki whispered softly before looking back down at you.  
  
James swallowed hard, his throat suddenly very dry. “It’s just a job, man, it’s nothing against either of you. I had to protect the factory.”  
  
Loki moved his free hand to your pocket and found the detonator. In the distance, the island erupted into flames.  
  
“I considered leaving you there,” Loki murmured, “but that death would be far too fast for you. Far too merciful. You are not worthy of mercy.” Loki’s voice was eerily calm as he returned his gaze to the man. Loki could feel the strain of healing magic start to wear on him, but he couldn’t risk stopping. For the first time, you started showing more signs of movement and you didn’t look so deathly. He could see the flow of blood slowly returning to your face as the wound started to close.  
  
The man forced himself to look away from Loki and focus on sailing the boat. “There’s land.” He said after an hour or so.  
  


* * *

  
The boat ran aground and Loki swayed in his seat. He idly waved his hand and the man slumped to the ground unconscious. Loki stepped out of the boat, still cradling you. His legs shook as he walked. Not even a dozen meters inland, Loki collapsed to his knees. He carefully resituated himself, sprawling out on the sand, still holding you in his arms. There was a rock close to where he collapsed, and Loki managed to pull himself up into a sitting position against it. Loki moved you so you were leaning with your back to his chest, his hand still pressed firmly to your wounded ribs as he strained to heal you.  
  
The sun had started setting by now and the world was quiet around the two of you. The sky was a brilliant splash of fiery colors, leaking into the ocean and tinting the world gold.  
  
Your eyes slowly fluttered open. Looking around with just your eyes, too weak to move your head, you saw the beautiful sunset beach and smiled. Your head was lying against Loki’s shoulder as he held you in place, the constant burning sensation of healing magic pulsing into your chest.  
  
“Loki.” You mumbled weakly, voice coming out slurred.  
  
“Hello love.” Loki replied, his voice just as faint.  
  
You were quiet for a time, just trying to clear your mind through the haze of pain. “I should’ve told you before we left, I’m sorry.”  
  
“Don’t be sorry, little one.” Loki murmured.  
  
Slowly your tired mind started to register the exhaustion in Loki’s voice. “You have to stop healing me.” You tried to shift away from him, but you were too weak, your body was unresponsive.  
  
Loki laughed, it was breathy and weak. “You know I can’t.”  
  
“You’ll kill yourself.”  
  
“If it means not losing you, it’s worth it.”  
  
You felt tears welling in your eyes. You pleaded with your body to let you move, anything to make him stop hurting himself. “Please Loki. What about the baby?”  
  
“Thor will be the godfather, he’ll do the job well, don’t you think?” Loki ignored you. “Natasha the godmother naturally.”  
  
You nodded, “Yes, and you’ll be the father. If you just stop-”  
  
“I didn’t plan for any names if it’s a girl…” Loki interrupted you. “You should have Bucky help you choose.”  
  
You tried to shake your head, “Loki, no.” You choked on your sob. “Please, you have to stop.” You begged, still not strong enough to move. Loki was giving his life force to heal you.  
  
“You know I can’t love, I can’t lose you.”  
  
“I can’t lose you either. Loki please, I need you just as much.”  
  
Loki had grown quiet. The only sound now was the waves crashing against the surf and the very faint sound of his breathing; it had grown ragged. Feeling was finally returning to your fingers and toes and as you struggled, you were almost able to clench your hands into fists. You looked down and saw Loki’s pale hand on your chest rapidly turning blue. Still the familiar green magic pulsated on.  
  
You scrunched your eyes shut.  “Loki, please.” Forcing yourself to look down, struggling to make your body respond, you watched as the glowing started to fade.  
  
How many times could you think your heart shattered, just to find a new way to destroy it that you could never have imagined before?  
  
And then the glow was gone. Just like the last fading lights of the sunset, Loki’s green magic waned and vanished.  
  
The bleeding had finally stopped and your limbs were finally responding. You shifted off of Loki, turning around so you could look at his face. His magnificent green eyes, now Jotun red, had shut for the last time. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you gripped his face tightly, willing him to move. The traces of a smile stayed on his face.  
  
Wailing his name repeatedly, you kissed his lips, desperate for some miracle. A lifetime of stories about evil curses being broken by true love’s kiss rushed through your mind and you were desperate to try anything. You tried CPR, pressing a steady beat into his chest, pleading to all ends of the universe that it might wake him.  
  
Finally, you wrapped your arms around his cold shoulders and gripped him as tight as you could, face pressed against his chest, inhaling the last of his scent. Your whole body shook with your sobs as you stayed in that position.   
  
For a brief moment, it sounded like there was movement behind you. You forced yourself to cast a look back, if only to prevent the intruder from desecrating Loki’s body. There was no one.  
  
The last light of day had long since faded. However, from the corner of your eye, you saw a single bright shining star in the sky.  
  
A smile played across your lips as you recalled the soothing sound of Loki’s voice as he read Frigga’s storybook.  
  
“Look Loki,” you mumbled, arms still wrapped tightly around him. “It’s the bright star saying good night.” You let out another choking sob. “Frigga’s little green flower…” you choked on your tears, “telling the naughty boys to go to sleep.” You hung your head again. “I love you so much Loki.” You thought sadly of Thor, how broken he would be over the loss of his precious brother.  
  
You briefly wondered how Odin would react. He was still in the Odinsleep. Well, when he woke, you knew you would tear him a new one.  
  
The star seemed to glow brighter, brighter than the moon – which you barely registered as not being visible. The beam of light seemed concentrated almost on one spot and made you think of the Bifrost opening.  
  
Perhaps Heimdall was going to claim Loki’s body so it could be given a proper Asgardian funeral. The thought sent a fresh wave of agony through you.  
  
Then suddenly in the glowing beam of starlight, you could make out a vague shape of a woman. You squinted your eyes, trying to decipher who or what it was. Then it struck you, this woman looked like a younger version of the woman whose picture resided in a music box on Loki’s dresser.  
  
“Lady Frigga?” You breathed, beyond confused.  
  
The woman smiled at you. She seemed to glide forward and leaned past you so she was looking directly at Loki.  
  
“Little one,” she whispered, “I have always been your mother, and I have never doubted your love for me. I am so proud of how far you’ve come.”  
You gaped at her in silence.  
Frigga flashed a quick smile at you then continued, “But this star has not called you for sleep, not yet.” She cupped Loki’s face in her hand and gently stroked his face. The blue Jotun skin started to fade, turning to his usual pallor. As the last traces of red vanished from Loki’s eyes, they opened.  
  
“Mother?” He looked up at her uncertainly.  
  
“Never have I doubted you. You and your brother have come so far, and I am so proud.”  
  
You wanted to hug Loki tighter, but you were too afraid to break this spell, whatever it was.  
Loki nodded weakly.  
  
Frigga looked at you and touched your stomach. “Take care of your little one, understand?” She smiled at the pair of you.  
  
“Loki.” You breathed, tears falling anew.  
  
Loki whispered your name, staring back at you.  
  
You gripped his hair and pulled him close, kissing him as fiercely as the day is long. Loki’s fingers knotted in your hair as he kissed you back just as passionately. You never wanted to pull away, but eventually the need for oxygen grew too strong and you were forced to draw back for breath.  
  
Loki pressed his forehead to yours, both of you breathing heavily as you refused to break eye contact.  
  
“I love you so much.” You and Loki spoke simultaneously.  
  
Loki let out a soft laugh.  
  
“Never leave me again, do you understand?” You croaked, throat raw from crying.  
  
Loki grasped you as tight as he could, pulling you into a hug worthy of Thor. “Never.”  
Suddenly you felt your eyes growing tired, starting to drift shut as you desperately clung to Loki.  
“Darling, darling.” Loki started to murmur.  
  
You felt yourself shaking, some force gripping you tightly. Then everything went black.  
  


* * *

  
You opened your eyes and looked around a painfully bright room. Blinking hard, you tried to understand where you were.  
  
Then you felt a cold familiar touch, fingers stroking your shoulder. You turned your head to the side, looking out over the rails of your bed.  
  
Loki was sitting beside you, gazing at you tiredly. “Hello love.” He murmured with a slight smile.  
  
You frowned in confusion and looked around. Slowly you became aware of a steady beeping sound in time to your heartbeat. “Where…?” You began to ask slowly.  
  
Loki’s lips quirked into a tiny smile, “I think you generally refer to it as a, what is the phrase? A ‘fucking hospital’?”  
  
Your mouth dropped open, “No…”  
  
Loki’s grin widened, though it was sincere and held no mockery. “You have such delightful dreams. Perhaps delightful is not the correct word.” He trailed off.  
  
“What?”  
  
“The doctors here feared you would not wake from your coma, that your body might abort the baby if it wasn’t soon. And I dared not move you to Asgard, you were too unstable.” Loki was silent, waiting for the words to sink in. “I entered your dream. Your perception of Frigga was beautiful… I’m not entirely sure that it wasn’t her spirit influencing you. Stranger things have happened after all.”  
  
“So what you said, all of that, did you mean it?”  
  
“Every word, my love.”  
  
“But you died… I held you in my arms.” Fresh tears pooled in your eyes and you suddenly felt angry, betrayed.  
  
Loki quickly shook his head, “That was not my doing. I have theories though.” He reached for your hand to stroke it. You pulled away uncertainly, the pain of seeing him… like that. You couldn’t bear the word dead again. To have it in the same sentence as Loki.  
  
“Let’s hear it.” You tried to growl, but you were too tired.  
  
“I think that was your subconscious dying.” Loki whispered, you could see the pain it brought him as he said those words. “That when I died in your dream, that would have killed you, that you would not have woken from this coma.” Loki’s throat tightened and he seemed more horrified by that thought than any torture he’d endured.  
  
You leaned over the railing and hugged him as tight as you could. “I’m sorry. I should have known.”  
  
Loki pressed a finger to your lips and silenced you. “Don’t be sorry.” He smiled weakly, “I know you have said it countless times, and I truly believe you, but seeing first-hand how much you truly mean it when you say you love me.” Loki trailed off, gently shaking his head.  
  
You pushed his hand away and kissed him fiercely again, trying your damnedest to pour every ounce of love you held for him in that kiss. Loki reciprocated just as strongly and you felt like you were kissing him the same as in your dream all over again. Then suddenly you pulled away, horrified. Loki’s face quickly became concerned.  
“What about the baby?”  
  
Loki smiled and reached for a pile of papers sitting on the night table. “It’s fine.” He said as he handed them to you. “We will simply have some interesting stories to tell it, come time.”  
  
You laughed weakly, more tears spilling down your cheeks. After Loki helped you wipe them away, you laughed and a hiccup came out. “I didn’t realize I had so many tears.”  
  
Loki chuckled. “Never be ashamed of that, my love. Now then, the other Avengers have been waiting with baited breath. They agreed to give us space while I tried dreamwalking. Shall I let them in?”  
  
You nodded weakly, still exhausted in every way.  
  
“Though I must warn you, lady Natasha might still be upset. I hear you parted ways on less than favorable terms.” Loki raised an eyebrow in amusement as he stood up, still looking back at you as he walked to the door.  
  
You let out a soft, sheepish laugh. “Err…”  
  
Loki winked at you and opened the door, “I’ll keep you safe.”  
  
There was a brief hushed conversation in the hall, then Loki moved back as the Avengers surged in, bearing smiles and gifts of all assortments.  
  
Even if you didn’t like being in hospitals, you were still pleased to find that you had ended up in one back in New York City. Loki allowed everyone to enter the room, place their gifts around, view that you were alive and well, and then just as quickly kicked everyone back out.  
  
When he turned away from shutting the door (sounds of protest still coming from the hall), Loki sighed before walking back to you. You laughed and gently patted the bed for him to sit down beside you. He tenderly wrapped his arms around you and held you close to his chest.  
  
“They will be cross.” Loki murmured, eyes shut as he stroked your hand. “But they will have to deal with it, because you are tired and pregnant women need their rest.”  
  
You nodded, eyes shut, just enjoying being beside him. When Loki finished the sentence, your eyes shot open. “Loki?”  
  
Loki straightened up quickly, concerned, “What?”  
  
“I’m pregnant.” You whispered.  
  
Loki nodded slowly, “Yes…”  
  
“No I mean I’m pregnant. We’re going to be parents.”  
  
There was a moment of shared silence as you and Loki allowed the realization of what those words meant to sink in.  
  
“I don’t know how to be a parent.” Loki whispered in horror.  
  
“I don’t know how to either!” You shot back, eyes wide.  
  
“Oh no.” Loki breathed, you could feel him stiffen beside you.  
  
“What?” You looked back, searching his face.  
  
“It’s not going to be human.”  
  
“Well, Terin isn’t technically human either, and Jane was fine.” You mumbled.  
  
“Thor is Asgardian. I’m not Asgardian…”  
  
You felt yourself pale. “Oh right…”  
  
“We could…” Loki trailed off, suddenly looking sad, “I mean, I never want to risk anything hurting you.”  
  
Quickly, and steeling your resolve, you shook your head. “No, we have this. You and I. We’re partners, we can totally manage this. Alright?”  
  
Loki buried his face in your hair and nodded, “You’re right. We can do this.”  
  
“And besides, we have Odin as a template of what not to do.”  
  
Loki chuckled weakly, “True. And even if the child is Jotun…”  
  
“You’ll be twice the father Odin ever was.”  
  
“Thank you. I’m not even concerned about you as a mother. You will be perfect.”  
  
You snuggled deeper into Loki’s chest, still nodding absently. “Right. We got this. This will be fine.”

 

 

 


	52. Chapter 52

“BUCKY!” You yelled through the door.  
  
“BUCKY!” Loki echoed you.  
  
“BUCKY WE DO NOT HAVE THIS! WE DO NOT HAVE THIS AT ALL!”  
  
Bucky’s door slowly slid open, revealing a very disgruntled and sleep deprived super soldier. “Guys… It’s three in the morning…”  
  
You had been out of the hospital for a little over five months, your pregnancy fully visible. “Bucky, I don’t know how to be a mom.”  
  
“Well I don’t know how to be a dad.” Loki interjected.  
  
You glared at him.  
  
Bucky glared between the two of you. “I don’t know how to be either. Have you tried asking Thor?”  
  
“He won’t answer his door.” You mumbled.  
  
“Steve?”  
  
“Same.”  
  
Bucky groaned, “This is the third time this week you two. You’ll do fine.” Bucky put his hands on yours and Loki’s shoulders. “I know you two can manage it, and we’ll all be there to support you. But for now,” he pushed the two of you away from his door for emphasis, “get some sleep.” The door slammed shut in yours and Loki’s face.  
  
“Should we try Lady Natasha?” Loki muttered.  
  
You frowned, shaking your head, “She hacked the elevator so it doesn’t stop at that floor after three anymore.”  
  
“I don’t trust Stark.”  
  
“Agreed.” You nodded, “What about Bruce?”  
  
“I think it’s best to not risk waking him this early.” Loki muttered. “Perhaps Bucky is right.”  
  
“Sleep or that we’ll do fine?”  
  
“Definitely sleep.” Loki glanced at you with a small smile.  
  
“Maybe we’re overreacting…”  
  
“YES, YOU ARE! NOW GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!” Bucky’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door.  
  
You and Loki slowly stumbled back to the elevator, crossing the short distance through the library, and into the room you now shared completely with Loki. The two of you collapsed onto bed.  
  
Since getting back from Mexico, both you and Loki would wake frequently during the night, terrified at the realization that you would be parents. You had only the vaguest of ideas for what to expect, and Loki was constantly fearful that he would end up like Odin. At first the two of you managed to calm the other down, but some nights the hysteria grew too much and you would confide in the other Avengers. You could tell some of Loki’s nighttime nerves were eased by bothering the others.  
Without the threat of Thanos looming so heavily over Loki’s head, much of his mischievous nature had returned. This was largely to the chagrin of the others but it distracted you and helped ease your own stress, so they couldn’t complain too much.  
  
You collapsed onto the bed, arms splayed out as you focused on your breathing. “Oooh… it’s kicking.” You murmured lightly, it was so strange having this movement inside you.  
  
Loki sat down and gently rested his hand over your swollen stomach, feeling for the slight movements. His eyes lit up as he gazed down at you lovingly. After a moment he rolled over and laid down, pulling you close against him so you were facing him.  
  
Suddenly you shivered.  
  
Loki frowned, “That’s been happening more frequently.”  
  
Throughout the pregnancy, you would have the occasional shivers. You had tried to hide most of them, but couldn’t quite prevent Loki noticing your frequent coldness. Even on the hottest days, you were wrapped in a sweatshirt, though your legs remained warm from the air.  
  
“You don’t think…” Loki started slowly, sitting up as he looked at you with deep concern. “Surely it’s human, right?”  
  
You copied his movements, not wanting to say anything. “Absolutely.” Loki’s frown deepened. “And even if it isn’t, we’ll love it just the same.”  
  
“Can your body handle it? What if it’s too cold?” Loki whispered.  
  
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, extra blankets are fine.”  
  
Loki was quiet for a time as he studied you. Finally he conceded, “Perhaps we should talk to Dr. Banner.”  
  
Shaking your head, you said, “It’s your secret Loki, I understand you don’t like talking about your true heritage, I don’t want to upset you.”  
  
“My feelings be damned if it means keeping you safe.”  
  
You smiled weakly at him, stroking his cheek as you appreciated how much he truly cared for you. “If it gets worse, we’ll talk to him. And we can always ask him not to repeat it. I’m sure he of all people would understand the concept of disliking something you can’t control. And the other guy has done a lot of good ultimately. Just like you. I’m sure he’d understand.”  
  
Loki chuckled, “Yes, I suppose smashing my head into the ground did null the effects of the tesseract.”  
  
“Look at you, ever the optimist.” You said, laughing.  
  
Loki leaned forward and kissed you. When he pulled away, he glanced at the time. “It’s late. Or rather, early. Either way, you should get some sleep.”  
  
Shivering again, you moved to crawl under the blankets. Loki noticed and got out of bed, finding an extra tunic in his dresser and helped you put it on before wrapping you in his familiar green blanket. He crawled under the covers with you and hugged you close once more, pulling your back to his chest.  
  
“I do love seeing you in my colors.” He murmured into your hair as he hugged you tighter.  
  
“Glad to make you happy.” You replied with a yawn. “’Night Loki, I love you.”  
  
“I love you too, my dove.”  
  
The two of you quickly drifted off to sleep.  
  


* * *

  
You woke up shivering violently, belatedly you realized it was your shivering that woke you. The cold permeated your very center but your legs and arms remained warm.  
  
Loki’s eyes shot open and he clenched his jaw. “Let’s go talk to Banner.”  
  
“I’m fine.” You stammered around your chattering teeth.  
  
Loki sat up and helped you to a sitting position. He got up and grabbed another shirt and pulled it over you before wrapping you once more in the blanket. You feebly protested at his actions but the cold was growing painful.  
  
“Let’s go.” Loki stood up, magicking his armour on. He supported you as he lifted you to your feet. You leaned on him heavily before slowly making your way upstairs.  
  
It was late morning by now and you knew the others would be in the lounge, probably eating.  
  
The elevator door opened to the main lounge and Bucky looked up with a glare. When he saw your unusual outfit, your paled skin, and constant shivering though, his eyes softened. “What’s wrong?” He asked, quickly getting to his feet and hurrying over.  
  
“Nothing, nothing, have you seen Bruce?” You answered hastily.  
  
“He’s in the lab with Tony. You sure you’re ok?”  
  
“Just a checkup with a medical expert, I’m sure it’s fine.” You clamped your mouth shut as a fresh wave of shivers ran through you.  
  
Loki eyed you with concern before scooping you into his arms and returning to the elevator. “We’ll keep you informed.” He called over his shoulder as the door slid shut.  
  
Once the elevator stopped on the main lab floor, the door opened to the sounds of worried shouts.  
  
“Hold it still Tony!” Bruce cried, aiming a laser at Tony.  
  
Tony was holding up a thick metal panel, trying desperately to counteract the vibrating. “Abort! Abort!”  
  
The laser turned off instantly and Bruce sighed, “Call that one a failure.”  
  
The two men finally noticed you and Loki standing to the side.  
  
“Oh hey there.” Bruce waved.  
  
“Hey Bruce,” you looked between the two men, “is this a bad time?”  
  
Tony shook his head, “Nah. What’s up?”  
  
You hesitated, glancing at Loki. Loki nodded stiffly, a look of heavy resignation on his face, quickly replaced by determination.  
  
“Bruce, can you help us in the smaller lab, err, the medbay actually?”  
  
Bruce glanced between you and Loki warily. His eyes shifted over your layered shirts and wrapped blanket, then to your exposed legs from your shorts; it was quite warm out. “Of course.”  
  
“Not Stark.” Loki growled.  
  
Tony frowned, “What? Why not?”  
  
“Please Tony. Just, just not right now.” You shivered again. “We’ll let you know.”  
  
Tony grumbled quietly before shrugging it off. “I’ll double check the schematics.”  
  
Bruce joined you and Loki in the elevator and rode to the medbay in silence. He kept glancing at you uncertainly but remained quiet. The doors opened to the same room where Bucky had been attended to on his first day at the tower.  
  
Loki helped you into the room and onto the examination table.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked, finally breaking the silence.  
  
You glanced at Loki, wondering if he wanted to start. Loki merely stared at the ground in silence.  
“Loki isn’t human.” You began slowly.  
  
Bruce nodded, “Yes?” He prompted.  
  
“I am.” Again, Bruce waited for you to elaborate. You glanced at Loki again but he continued to avoid eye contact. “He’s not Asgardian either.” Bruce raised his eyebrows in surprise but didn’t interrupt. “He doesn’t like to talk about it, that’s why I asked for just you. We’re speaking in strict confidence, please.” You added.  
  
“Tony.” Bruce said. You nodded. “I understand completely. So what’s wrong?”  
  
“I’m from the realm of Jotunheim, adopted by Odin. At best, I’m Thor’s half-brother. The Jotun are often referred to as frost giants. It’s a realm of constant cold.” Loki began speaking.  
  
You shivered again.  
  
Bruce looked over at you and realization dawned on his face. “The baby is half Jotun then?”  
  
You nodded, “Probably.” You shivered again.  
  
“I can disguise my body temperature, allowing me not to hurt anyone on physical contact. If I don’t control it though, it essentially burns you.”  
  
“Frostbite.” Bruce interrupted. He glanced down at you, a mixture of fascination and concern on his face. “That’s absolutely amazing.” He whispered.  
  
“Not if it hurts her!” Loki yelled angrily. Then his voice softened as he looked at you and whispered, “Or worse.”  
  
You reached out and squeezed his hand. “Is there any way you can check this out? Maybe do something?”  
  
Bruce tapped his chin thoughtfully. “We could start with an ultrasound.”  
  
You nodded. Loki frowned in confusion. “For looking at organs inside.” You clarified.  
  
“Oh right, of course.” Loki muttered.  
  
“Then go from there.” As Bruce began setting up the equipment he started questioning you, “So it’s just your abdomen that’s cold?”  
  
“Only where the baby is.”  
  
“How long has it been happening?”  
  
“Occasionally over the last few months, but I’m in the third trimester now and it’s gotten much worse.”  
  
Bruce and Loki helped you to lie down before lifting up your shirts enough to apply the jelly. You kept the blanket wrapped around your upper body, trying to keep the cold at bay.  
Bruce set up the computer screen, sliding the sensor over your stomach. Loki gripped your hand fearfully as you all watched the monitor for some sort of helpful information.  
  
“Well…” Bruce started slowly, then glanced over at you and Loki, “It’s a boy.”  
  
“Kailar.” You murmured, looking up at Loki happily.  
  
Loki laughed, squeezing your hand, “You remembered.” Then he became serious again and nodded for Bruce to continue.  
  
“Let’s get some temperature diodes set up.” Bruce motioned for Loki to help him placing various stickers around your stomach and attaching wires, until another range of graphs and numbers appeared on a second screen. Bruce bit his lip worriedly, “Yea, if you look here,” he pointed at a particularly low number, “the baby is incredibly cold. If it were definitely human, I would be worried about its health, but hearing what you and Loki said…” he trailed off.  
Loki grit his teeth and nodded. You squeezed his hand, stroking it absently with your thumb.  
Bruce sighed, “I’d recommend putting you into early labour,” both yours and Loki’s eyes widened in shock, but Bruce continued, “but I’m not sure that would be best. I’m thinking we’ll try and treat you for severe hypothermia, if we can maintain your body temperature long enough to carry full term.”  
  
Suddenly the door flew open; you, Bruce, and Loki spun to see who it was.  
  
Thor stood in the doorway and looked around worriedly. “Loki! Lady (Y/n)! Bruce!”  
  
“Hey Thor.” Bruce said, looking up from the monitors.  
  
“Bucky said you looked unwell this morning.” Thor explained looking between the three of you.  
  
Loki sighed, clenching his jaw, and looked away. You squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him. “Bruce is helping us out, we should be fine-” You started off.  
  
Loki interrupted you, “You know my true parentage Thor. The baby is…” He trailed off again. You could see the self-loathing that he tried so hard to move past resurfacing.  
  
“The baby is fine, and so am I, Loki. Right Bruce?”  
  
Bruce nodded, “You don’t appear to be in any immediate danger, we’ll just want to monitor things to make sure nothing gets worse.”  
  
Thor walked over and gripped your free hand, squeezing it gently, then turned and embraced Loki. “(Y/n) is strong, and a child created through the bond you two share will be as healthy and beautiful as that love.”  
  
“Thank you brother.” Loki murmured as he hugged Thor back.  
  
Bruce beamed at the two brothers, sharing a quick look with you. “Alright!” He said as the two brothers pulled away. “Let’s set up the hypothermia treatment, it should ease the discomfort some.”  
  
“What about the baby?” You asked uncertainly, reaching your free hand down to rest on your swollen stomach.  
  
“Well, Loki doesn’t seem adversely affected by earthly room temperature, so bearing that in mind, we could just do a small treatment and make sure everything is fine.”  
  
You glanced up at Loki.  
  
“Anything to help you, my love.” Loki leaned over and kissed your forehead before gently brushing your hair out of your face.  
  
“Alright.” You nodded at Bruce. Bruce started moving around the room and setting up the necessary equipment. As Bruce worked, you looked back up at Loki, “Loki?” he tilted his head, “You have to promise me though, and the baby, no matter what happens with any of this, you’ll love him completely, ok?”  
  
Loki nodded and stroked your cheek, “I promise. I won’t do to this child what Odin did to me.”  
  


* * *

  
The next few weeks passed with little difficulties. Bruce’s hypothermia treatments were effective at keeping you from being too pained by the cold. The baby wasn’t adversely affected in the least. You and Loki told the other Avengers that it was some sort of complication between an Asgardian and a human, and that Jane had simply been fortunate not to experience it.  
  
All was going marvelously up until the month before the projected due date.  
  


* * *

  
You woke up and, for the first time in ages, felt warm. At first you smiled, not quite registering the lack of cold.  
  
“Morning Loki.” You said brightly. The night had been the most restful night of sleep since you first discovered you were pregnant.  
  
Loki yawned and slowly sat up beside you. “Good morning, love.” He paused, noticing how chipper you looked. “You look positively radiant.” He remarked, slightly bemused.  
  
“Thanks Loki.” You leaned over and pecked his cheek, then slowly stood up and got out of bed, looking to get dressed.  
  
Loki watched in silent admiration of you, pleased that you looked so lively after the last few weeks of constant cold and fatigue. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“I feel fantastic!” You beamed at him as you finished dressing, not wearing a sweatshirt for once. “Let’s go get breakfast, I’m thinking ice cream or something.” You strode proudly from the room, not waiting for Loki’s reply.  
  
Loki frowned, but quickly got up and followed after you, magicking his clothes on as he moved. “Ice cream, darling?” He asked, once he managed to catch up with you in the elevator. You hummed in agreement, leaning lightly against him as you rode upwards. “Isn’t that a little bit cold for you?” You shrugged and shook your head, exiting the elevator when you arrived at the lounge, a bounce in your step. Loki walked out slowly after you, watching you warily, “Doctor Banner has the treatment for you today.” Loki called as you rounded the corner into the kitchen.  
  
Bucky looked up from his seat on the couch. Steve, Tony, Natasha, and Clint were currently away from the tower on missions. Everyone promised to be back by the projected due date.  
  
“Do you guys want ice cream too?” You called from the kitchen.  
  
“Darling, Banner said you shouldn’t eat cold foods.” Loki mumbled, hurrying after you.  
  
“Yea, well he can stick it right now, I want ice cream.”  
  
Bucky chuckled, earning a reproachful glare from Loki.  
  
The elevator doors opened behind Loki, revealing Thor, Jane, and Terin. Terin was just nearing two years old now. The young child gripped tightly on Jane’s hand, his other hand in his mouth, as he carefully walked out of the elevator.  
  
“Uncle!” Terin yelled excitedly when he saw Loki, quickly removing his hand from his mouth. He let go of Jane’s hand and teetered over to Loki.  
  
Loki turned around and looked down at the child, smiling mildly. “Hello Terin.”  
  
“Up, up!” Terin held his hands up to Loki.  
  
Loki scowled, “Go to your father.”  
  
You rounded the corner of the kitchen, carrying a tub of ice cream and eating happily from the container.  
  
Terin frowned up at Loki, lip quivering as he held his hands up, still desperate for Loki to lift him up. Loki ignored the small child, gazing at you curiously, not sure where this sudden behavior was coming from.  
  
Thor ran up behind Terin, scooping him up and tossing him high into the air before lightly catching him. “Come now, son!” Terin giggled at Thor, his upset already forgotten.  
  
The world around you wavered slightly, you could hardly understand Loki commenting, “Darling, you look like you’re sweating, are you alright?”  
  
Jane glared at Loki, slapping his shoulder, “You don’t comment on it!”  
  
Loki scowled at the brown-haired woman and was about to reply when your spoon and ice cream fell to the floor. He spun around and watched, seemingly in slow motion, as you collapsed beside it.  
  
Loki shouted your name in horror, running over to your side. Not pausing, he lifted you into his arms and teleported down to the lab. By some miracle, Bruce was already in the medbay and prepping for your treatment. Loki gently laid you out on the bed, allowing for Bruce to connect you. Within seconds, Thor and Bucky had arrived from upstairs.  
  
Your eyes slowly fluttered open and you looked around in confusion, shivering more violently than ever. Then suddenly the shivering subsided. There was no feeling in your extremities, your heart rate had dropped drastically and you suddenly felt sleepy. You struggled lightly against Bruce as he tried to connect you to the machine.  
  
“What’s wrong with her?” Loki snapped at Bruce, eyes wide with horror.  
  
“She’s going into shock.” Bruce looked up at the monitor as it flashed your temperature ‘35.0 °C/95.0 °F’. “Shit.” Bruce cursed, watching as the numbers dipped lower. He, Thor, and Loki started piling blankets on you, desperately trying to stop your core temperature from lowering anymore.  
  
“Can you remove the baby?” Bucky asked.  
  
“The shock of it might kill her.” Bruce whispered as he tried to think of something else.  
  
“Dammit!” Loki roared, “We’re going to Asgard. We’re getting Eir’s help.” Loki bundled the last of the blankets around you, once more lifting you into his arms. You struggled lightly, delirious by the cold, but too weak to put up any real effort.  
  
“Wait Loki,” Thor reached out and grabbed Loki’s shoulder. Loki ignored Thor, but ended up teleporting the three of you upstairs. You appeared in the lounge, rousing a very startled Jane and Terin to their feet.  
  
“You can’t stop me,” Loki snarled, hurrying outside. “Heimdall!” He bellowed up to the sky as he stood out on the balcony.  
  
Thor grabbed Jane’s hand and easily lifted Terin with his other hand, “I’m not. We’re coming with.”  
Loki paused to offer a grateful smile at Thor, then waited in apprehensive silence until a burst of light engulfed the group, sending them rushing to Asgard.  
  
  


* * *

 

 

  
  
-  
  
  


 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
You woke up in a large fluffy bed, a small golden orb encircling you. Gazing around the golden room you smiled, appreciating the warmth, but not being hot. After a moment, you scrunched your eyebrows together, frowning as you tried to comprehend where you were and what happened. You reached for the familiar bump of your stomach, but stopped when you realized it was gone.  
  
Your heart skipped a beat and you felt a lump in your throat, choking in horror. Slowly, terror started to grip you, you tried to shift on the bed, to move at all and get a better look of the room, but your body was slow to respond.  
  
Then quietly, from just outside of your field of vision, you heard a soft cry.  
  
“Shh…” A quiet voice responded immediately, “You’ll wake your mother.”  
  
“Loki?” You whispered, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.  
  
Suddenly, Loki appeared by your side, just on the edge of the golden orb. He smiled down at you, tears filling his eyes. Shifting a small bundle in his arm, he reached his hand out and gently squeezed yours.  
  
In response, Loki whispered your name. He nodded slightly and the bed started to tilt up until you were in a sitting position. The orb dispersed as the bed moved. You recognized the small circular room that Loki had been kept while he recovered.  
  
“What… what happened?” You choked, not able to comprehend the emptiness you felt.  
  
Loki smiled and gently shifted you over so he could sit down. He turned towards you, delicately positioning the bundle so you could see its contents. “Something wonderful.” He whispered.  
  
You gasped as you noticed the small baby boy, bright blue, bundled into a green blanket. Tears flooded your eyes as you slowly took the child from Loki.  
  
“I know you generally hate waking up in hospitals,” Loki murmured quietly.  
  
You shook your head, “Is this…?” Your voice caught in your throat.  
  
“Kailar Lokison.” Loki whispered, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you cradled the infant against your bosom. The baby’s eyes slowly opened, revealing bright red eyes, gazing happily up at you. “Your son.”  
  
“Our son.” You whispered back.  
  
“Yes.” Loki kissed your cheek then leaned his head against yours to join you in staring at the child. Answering your unspoken question, Loki said, “He was born yesterday.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“Eir has far more resources at her disposal than Bruce, the coldness of his Jotun heritage was more easily dealt with by her.”  
  
Nodding slowly, you looked up at Loki, “He’s blue.” You mumbled meekly.  
  
Loki nodded. You watched in quiet awe as Loki’s skin slowly turned blue, “Like his father.”  
  
“Thank you Loki, for all of us.”  
  
Kailar gurgled happily as he watched Loki’s eyes turn red and match his. You slowly moved your hand from underneath the bundle and poked Kailar’s chest. He was cold, but it was a mild discomfort to the touch, not as painful as Loki’s true form.  
  
“Anything for the ones I love.” Loki murmured. Kailar’s eyes slowly scrunched up and his lip quivered, “I believe he’s hungry, love.”  
  
“Oh. Oh right!” You shifted him and moved the blankets so he could latch on your breast and begin suckling. It was a strange sensation and dreadfully cold, but gazing down at your son, you couldn’t find it in your heart to be upset.  
  
The two of you watched quietly, just enjoying the tender moment shared with your son.  
  
“I believe I could cast a spell to give him a more human appearance, and ease the coldness of his skin.” Loki started to speak quietly. You looked up at him, fearful that he didn’t like Kailar’s appearance. “Only to prevent him from feeling different, I will personally make sure he never fears himself to be a monster. I won’t let the pain Odin forced upon me be spread to our child.”  
  
You turned towards Loki and met his lips in a light kiss, then looked back down at your child and whispered, “We love you Kailar, both of us.”  
  
When Kailar had his fill, he pulled away from you, eyes falling shut again as he drifted off to sleep. Loki stroked Kailar’s blue head, his own blue fingers sliding along the ridges, and then murmured quietly under his breath. Soon the blue faded from both Loki and Kailar and you were left holding a beautiful, pale boy, matching Loki’s skin perfectly. Instinctively, you knew that if Kailar opened his eyes, the irises would be as vividly green as Loki’s.  
  
“He’s adorable.” You cooed quietly, once you were certain Kailar was asleep.  
  
Loki laughed softly, “As is his mother.”  
  
Annoyed, you pursed your lips, “Not right now,” you paused, realizing that you shouldn’t curse in front of the baby.  
  
Loki smirked as he saw your dilemma, “Hmm, what were you going to call me, darling?”  
  
“Partner.” You grumbled, then stuck your tongue out at him.  
  
“Yes, yes we are.” Loki agreed happily.  
  
“He’s way cuter than Terin.”  
  
“Undoubtedly.” Loki laughed softly. “He was quite squishy when he was born.”  
  
“Not too sure that I’m upset I missed that part.”  
  
Loki wrinkled his nose, “It looked unpleasant, but you and Eir did spectacularly.”  
  
You raised an eyebrow, “Not sure I did anything at all.”  
  
“You always do everything spectacularly.” Loki nudged you with his elbow, eliciting a giggle from you.   
  
“Oh, has someone told the other Avengers?”  
  
Loki nodded, “We sent Fandral back with the news. I’m doubting he’ll return to Asgard any time soon though, I believe he intends to make up on missed time with Darcy.”  
  
You laughed, stopping when Kailar stirred, then lowered your voice to a whisper. “Yea, they’ll be distracted for a while.” You snickered, then let out a heavy sigh. “Natasha is going to kill me for not having her around to meet Kailar right away.”  
  
Loki chuckled, “Yes, and Bucky will probably be displeased as well. Thor was there for support though.”  
  
“Did Eir get to meet Terin?”  
  
As you spoke, the doors swung inward, revealing Eir, Thor, Jane, and Terin in tow. “Yes I did, took them long enough too.” Eir said with a shrewd smile. “I’m glad to see you’re awake. You can tell that fool of a husband to stop worrying and sleep like I said to.”  
  
You raised an eyebrow and glanced up at Loki, “You didn’t sleep?”  
  
“How much did you sleep when I was unconscious?” Loki retorted.  
  
“That’s different.” You grumbled back.  
  
Thor laughed, “It’s good to see you both awake and bickering again.” Thor lifted Terin into the air and brought him over to the bed. “This is your cousin Kailar.” Thor said, motioning for Terin to peer over at the infant in your arms. “Can I hold my nephew?” Thor pleaded quietly.  
  
You slowly moved Kailar to Thor’s outstretched arms, unhappy with the idea of parting from your son. Loki seemed to share your opinion but he clearly recalled Thor holding Terin out to himself when Terin was first born.  
  
“And you approve me being the godfather?” Thor asked as he gazed down at the small child. Jane walked over and peered down with Thor.  
  
“Yep, you’re the godfather, and Natasha is the godmother.” You glanced at Loki for some sign of confirmation. He nodded. “The age difference is kinda like you and Loki, isn’t it?”  
  
Loki frowned thoughtfully, “Relatively speaking, I suppose so.”  
  
“Is Odin awake yet?” You asked. Thor shook his head. “Well, when he wakes up, we’ll give him the offer to earn the right to be Kailar’s grandfather.”  
  
“I like that.” Loki murmured. “What if he refuses?”  
  
“Well, Bucky and Steve are technically old enough to be my grandfathers, so they can have the stand in position.”  
  
Thor burst out laughing, “I think they would both like that.” He finally handed Kailar back to you, and you eagerly cradled him against your chest once more. Thor reached across you and squeezed Loki’s shoulder, “Mother would have been proud of you, of both of us.”  
  
Loki smiled, “Both of us, yes.”  
  
“Her sons.”


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what a long trip, I can't believe we're at the end, thank you to everyone who continually commented and supported this, it means the world to me!

Several years passed, you and Loki alternated time between Earth and Asgard. Whenever the two of you were on Asgard, you would spend a few hours in the library, idly scanning among the many books. You and Loki had given up on the dream of you living as long as he and chose to make sure you would enjoy the most out of your short years with him instead.  
  
On one summer day, Loki was off overseeing the reconstruction of the town the two of you had first visited on your honeymoon, so many years prior. You opted to stay behind and read in the library.  
  
You sat at Loki’s favorite desk, in the corner where he had once been kidnapped, munching a sweet roll. Your eyes scanned along a set of notes that had been tucked away and not seen the light of day since they were written. It vaguely occurred to you that he might have been working on this set the day he had gone missing.  
  
Suddenly you stopped, a particular phrase catching your eye.  
  
 _‘Romju’_ , it read. You tilted your head to the side curiously, reading what the translation said. As you tried to comprehend it, your eyes slowly widened. You sat up straighter as you suddenly understood what it was saying.  
  
Leaping to your feet, you ran from the room, notes in hand and lunch completely forgotten. You dashed around the palace, desperately searching for Loki. You interrupted every guard you ran into until one managed to point you towards him.  
  
Flying across the castle as fast as you could, you made your way to where the guard directed you. You rounded a corner and crashed into Loki.  
  
Stumbling back, he caught you in his arms before you fell.  
  
“What is it, love?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he noticed your excited appearance.  
  
“I found it! Well really you found it, but look! You skipped over this part! Look what it says!” You eagerly thrust the paper towards him.  
  
Loki slowly took it from you and gazed down at it, quickly skimming the contents. Slowly his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Romju…” He read in a hushed voice. Then he looked up at you, “A unity of souls, of course! How could I have missed this?” He wrapped his arms around you and kissed you fiercely, spinning you around as he did so. When he stopped and set you down, he pressed his forehead to yours and murmured, “You are absolutely brilliant, my darling.” He suddenly moved away, smiling as his heart raced with joy. “I… I’ll never have to lose you.”  
  
“You’ll never be alone, truly.” You whispered in agreement.  
  
“C’mon, there’s no time to waste!” Loki grasped your hand and took off running, dragging you behind him. He made his way in a direction you had never seen before.  
  
After many minutes, you arrived in a secluded forest, hidden a short ways from the castle.  
  
“Where are we?” You gasped as you tried to catch your breath.  
  
“A place of great magical energy, and a spot dear to my heart. This is the place where my mother taught me her most challenging and intricate spells.” He looked around, “I haven’t been here for centuries.” He whispered, then looked away. “I couldn’t show it to you, I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready to see it after…” He trailed off. “After Frigga.” He clenched his teeth and shook his head, “I forced myself to forget it existed. I myself haven’t been here since I was last with her…”  
  
You gently cupped his cheek before standing on tiptoe and kissing him delicately. “I understand completely.”  
  
Loki smiled weakly and nodded, “Are you ready for this? Are you truly certain?”  
  
You nodded fiercely, “Absolutely.”  
  
Loki became somber, “I truly understand if not. You will one day have to say goodbye to every human you have ever known and loved. You will age more slowly than-”  
  
You pressed a finger to his lips and hushed him. “I swear. There’s nothing I want more than to never be without you again, for you to never be alone, to forever be by your side.”  
  
Loki slowly nodded, “You have made me the happiest person alive.” Then he breathed in deeply and began reading the directions to the ceremony. “This is a unity of souls,” he began softly, “a spell that only the most powerful of sorcerers can do.” He trailed off suddenly and looked up at you. “Do you trust me to attempt this?”  
  
“Absolutely.”  
  
Loki nodded and breathed in deeply, returning his gaze to the paper. “True love,” he chuckled, “there can be no secrets between the two, everything is shared and we must trust one another completely. Our souls will be united, if one dies, so does the other.” Loki looked up again.  
  
“Go on, dumbass.” You smirked at the old familiar nickname, your heartrate increasing in excitement.  
  
“I won’t be able to call you a pathetic mortal anymore,” Loki mused with a weak smile.  
  
“I’m sure we can manage another nickname. Now keep going.”  
  
Loki grabbed your hands with both of his and stood opposite of you. “You will live as long as me. The strength and life matched completely as our spirits entwine and become one.”  
  
The two of you stepped forward, sliding your hands up each other’s arms until you stood chest to chest, completely embracing each other. As you stood there, holding Loki, and Loki holding you, ready to spend the rest of your life into an eternity with Loki, you smiled. You would grow old with your prince charming and truly live happily ever after.  
  
You couldn’t help but giggle at the cliché of it.  
  
Loki pulled away briefly and looked at you confused, “What?”  
  
“Nothing, I’ll tell you later.” You merely beamed before gripping his coat and pulling him towards you, losing yourself in the kiss.  
  
 _ **Fin**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes it's cliched, but I wanted a fairy tale ending. Hopefully it's not too anticlimactic for you... 
> 
> According to Microsoft Word, it's 178,400 words (+/- a couple hundred, since I typed it and would often edit it between Word and posting) which is more than Tolkien's "Fellowship of the Ring", so I just wrote (and you in turn) read a full novel length reader insert Loki fanfiction - I've no idea how to feel about that... :D


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